How To Not Lose Your Sh!t

Red Wine & Blue

Want to know how you can make a difference without losing your sh!t? Join Katie Paris and LaFonda Cousin, two moms with very different backgrounds who together run Red Wine & Blue – an organization of over half a million diverse suburban women working together to defeat extremism. Katie, the org’s founder, has worked in political organizing for most of her career. LaFonda, the Chief People Officer, is a wellness expert on a mission to reimagine self-care.  Each week, LaFonda and Katie talk to experts and everyday women who are getting involved, building community, and feeling better in the process.

  1. Make America Healthy Again... Actually (with Emily Oster)

    4D AGO

    Make America Healthy Again... Actually (with Emily Oster)

    “Optimization” is everywhere. We’re supposed to optimize our health, optimize our parenting, optimize our career and body and every other aspect of our lives. Wellness bros are out there writing articles and producing podcasts about how data can help us optimize our way to perfection. But you know what? Not everyone can start every day by drinking lemon water barefoot outdoors for an hour. Some of us have kids! This week on the podcast, we talked to Emily Oster, the founder of ParentData and the author of Expecting Better and Cribsheet. As a woman who professionally helps parents (and everyone else) better understand data, she had so much good advice. Turns out, data can help us make good decisions but there’s no one way to “optimize” our parenting or our lives. It’s about balancing data alongside our own experiences, values, and the reality of our daily lives. There’s a stereotype that women only rely on their hearts (our “women’s intuition”) while men rely on evidence and data. But we’re all capable of doing both, regardless of our gender! The answer isn’t ignoring data - not at all. It’s about understanding the data and making the best decision for ourselves and our families. As Emily said, “data isn’t bossy.” It’s also not political. We talked with Emily about RFK’s “Make America Healthy Again” campaign and how there are nuggets of good advice in there, like making school lunches healthier, alongside disinformation about vaccines and autism. It’s not about listening to one person or one study — it’s about learning how to understand the data for ourselves. Understanding scientific studies or other kinds of data might feel intimidating, but don’t underestimate yourself — you can understand data! Every data point in a spreadsheet or a medical study is actually just a person. A story. Data isn’t the be-all end-all; it’s about telling a better, truer story. This was such a fascinating conversation and we’re so grateful to Emily for joining us. Don’t miss this week’s episode! For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue. You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!  Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

    36 min
  2. Get Offline and Find Your People (with Shannon Watts and Emily Tluchak)

    MAR 25

    Get Offline and Find Your People (with Shannon Watts and Emily Tluchak)

    When Shannon Watts created Moms Demand Action in 2012, her intention was to give moms a way to take action on gun violence. Since then, she hasn’t just seen concrete results like stronger gun laws and closed loopholes. She’s seen the transformative power of getting together in person around shared values. Shannon wrote about this idea in her recent book, Fired Up. She explained that there’s a spark within all of us, a catalyst for our life’s meaning and joy. And when many sparks all ignite at once, what do you get? A bonfire. The idea immediately resonated with so many women that they began forming their own groups — called Bonfires — in their local communities. If you’ve been following Red Wine & Blue for a while, this may all sound familiar to you. Women? Forming local groups? Around shared values? Connecting in person? Making a difference? Sounds like what the Red Wine & Blue Network is all about! And because Katie Paris and Shannon Watts are collaborative and strategic women, they weren’t offended or territorial. They wanted to work together! So Bonfire and the Red Wine & Blue Network are teaming up to share what we’ve all learned and support women who want to start Bonfire or Network groups in their town. If you want to learn more about how it works, you can join us for a live virtual event on Monday, March 30th at 7:30pm Eastern. Yes, we see the irony of holding a virtual event to help women find in-person connections. 😂 Just join us for an hour on Zoom to get the tools you need and then go out into your community for some real face-to-face time! We also chatted on the pod with Emily, a mom in Florida who started her own Bonfire group this year. She says it’s been so cool to have a group of women supporting each other through big life changes, political turmoil, and anything that life throws their way. If you can’t attend the virtual event on 3/30, you can learn more about the RWB/Bonfire partnership here. If there isn’t already a group in your area, consider starting one! We’ll be here to help you every step of the way. For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue. You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!  Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

    36 min
  3. Join The Mr. Rogers Resistance (with Amanda Litman)

    MAR 4

    Join The Mr. Rogers Resistance (with Amanda Litman)

    Last year, Amanda Litman and her husband hosted a dinner party every Saturday. She was skeptical going into it, as an introvert and the mom of two young kids, but after a just a few weeks she realized it was one of the best decisions she’s ever made. Not only that, she says it was the most political thing she did in 2025. To really appreciate that statement, you have to understand that Amanda has devoted her professional life to politics. She’s the leader and co-founder of Run For Something, an organization that helps young and diverse people run for office, and the author of When We’re in Charge: The Next Generation’s Guide to Leadership. She is a Political Person with two capital P’s. And yet — and yet! — Amanda still says that her 52 dinner parties were more powerful than all of that. Sharing conversations with our neighbors and building community are the most political actions we can take. We’ve already seen it play out in places like Minneapolis, where neighbors have been supporting each other through the violent ICE occupation. This has been a chaotic and painful year, but folks have been getting through it by extending a hand to their community and asking, “How can I help?” Okay, so connecting with our neighbors and being kind to each other is political. That makes sense. But… 52 dinner parties? How did she manage it? Did she really cook every week? Did she get help with childcare? Did she agonize over who to invite and the seating plan? In the end, Amanda answered all of these questions (and more) so convincingly that Katie and LaFonda committed to hosting their own dinner party this month! Check out this week’s episode of How To Not Lose Your Sh!t to learn how you too can join the Mr. Rogers Resistance. For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue. You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!  Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

    38 min
  4. Get Off The Doomsday Express (with Holli Holliday)

    FEB 25

    Get Off The Doomsday Express (with Holli Holliday)

    In 2024, Win With Black Women held a Zoom call with 44,000 women that raised 1.5 million dollars for Kamala Harris in just 3 hours. You might remember a number of similar Zoom calls around that time, from White Women Answer The Call to White Dudes For Harris, but Win With Black Women was the original. They were the blueprint. That 2024 call wasn’t a one-time thing, either — every Sunday night, Win With Black Women hosts a call where women can learn from each other and be in community. And that spirit of collectivism, community and joy shines in every word we heard from Holli Holliday on the pod this week. Holli is the co-convener of Win With Black Women as well as the president of Sisters Lead, Sisters Vote. She shared some great news with us about how Black women candidates are winning elections across the country — and not just in majority Black districts. They’re winning everywhere. Holli’s full of joy and hope, but it’s not in a bland Pollyanna sort of way. She says that despite the national narratives of doom and hopelessness, she’s been seeing more and more everyday acts of kindness. When we share our stories and our resources with each other, we’re all lifted up in the process. Here's to getting off the Doomsday Express! For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue. You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!  Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

    37 min
  5. Courage and Love (with Minnesota moms)

    FEB 18

    Courage and Love (with Minnesota moms)

    This week, we were joined on the podcast by two moms in suburban Minneapolis. Their upbringings were very different: Stef is a white woman from a small town in southern Minnesota and Nina grew up in Somalia, where her father was a political prisoner. But this year, these two friends are standing side by side to protect their community against ICE. Their friendship was so sweet (each insisting that the other is the true inspiration) but it’s also strategic: strong connections between neighbors and friends is how Minnesota has stood up against this year’s ICE invasion. Stef and Nina confirmed all of the amazing stories we’ve been hearing. In -25 degree weather, Minnesotans are out protesting. They’re collecting diapers and groceries for families who are too scared to leave their homes. They’re even riding on school busses to make sure that kids get to school safe. Nina says it’s what her adoptive state is all about. “In this community, we pray together. We share resources with one another. We take care of each other. Everybody is trying to help and stand up for their next door neighbor. Words cannot say how I how I feel about that, and that makes me wanna do more. We are all in this together and feeling this fear, but it turned out to be a strength and inspiration. It’s amazing. I feel abundance every night when I go to bed.” This is coming from a woman whose family escaped a violent dictator, only to experience that fear again now in America. Nina’s positivity and love for her neighbors radiated from her throughout the interview and reminded us that this is the America we’re fighting to save. If you’re worried about ICE coming to your town, build those friendships now. Organize a neighborhood potluck. Set up a community Signal chat. If you have those relationships and infrastructure in place, you’ll be in a much stronger position to get through hard or even dangerous times. Don't miss this week's chat with Stef and Nina! And if you want to learn more or RSVP for our event next Tuesday about Black maternal mortality, you can do so here. For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue. You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!  Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

    27 min
  6. Carry Your Torch (with Kate Barr and Jill Barkley Roy)

    FEB 11

    Carry Your Torch (with Kate Barr and Jill Barkley Roy)

    We all know elections are important, from president to city council and school board. But have you ever heard anyone talk about running for office as self-care? We hadn’t either — until today! This week on the pod, we were joined by two inspirational women: Jill Barkley Roy and Kate Barr. Jill is the Director of Emerge Action Fund, an organization that trains women to run for office. And Kate has been fighting against gerrymandering in North Carolina for years and now, she’s actually running for office as a Republican as a genius way to beat those unfair maps. Not only did both Jill and Kate share what they’ve been doing to help women (including themselves) run for office, but they both said that the work they do is what helps them not lose their shit on a daily basis.  Jill even said that after training 25 women to run for office at a recent Emerge bootcamp, she was so excited that she couldn’t sleep. That sounds a lot better than lying awake because of nightmares about ICE! Kate, meanwhile, shared this wisdom that she first heard from a Tibetan monk about not spreading ourselves too thin. We should find our torch — the issue we care about most — and carry it in the direction we feel is right and true for as we're able. It's what she and Jill have both been doing for years. For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue. You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!  Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

    44 min

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About

Want to know how you can make a difference without losing your sh!t? Join Katie Paris and LaFonda Cousin, two moms with very different backgrounds who together run Red Wine & Blue – an organization of over half a million diverse suburban women working together to defeat extremism. Katie, the org’s founder, has worked in political organizing for most of her career. LaFonda, the Chief People Officer, is a wellness expert on a mission to reimagine self-care.  Each week, LaFonda and Katie talk to experts and everyday women who are getting involved, building community, and feeling better in the process.

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