If You've Come This Far

Shaun Emerson & Chris Lozier
  • 5.0 (18)
  • Non-Profit
  • Updated Bimonthly

a podcast where Shaun and Chris simply aim to have authentic conversations with interesting people about what they do to make life more fulfilling and more impactful.

  1. 3d ago

    Alexandra Friedman...The Lost Art of Friendship

    After eighteen years away from the Pacific Northwest, former AWS tech marketer Alexandra "Alex" Friedman returned home to find that professional achievement was no safeguard against profound urban isolation. Confronting the notorious "Seattle Freeze" and the reality of adult loneliness, she began inviting strangers to rooftop dinner parties. That grassroots experiment quickly evolved into Connection Feast, an international community platform and friendship coaching methodology that has brought thousands together for semi-structured, authentic connection. In this episode of If You’ve Come This Far, Alex joins Chris and Shaun to dissect the mechanics of modern belonging. Moving beyond superficial networking and high-pressure dating paradigms, Alex shares why authentic community requires intentional friction, how somatic awareness disarms our biological fear of rejection, and why building platonic intimacy—especially among men—is essential for mental health and personal fulfillment. Key Highlights "Connectivities" vs. Dating Pressure: Why structured, action-oriented activities create psychological safety and draw men into deeper conversations far more effectively than traditional mixers.Boundaries Create Freedom: How establishing curated dinner themes and structured conversational rules helps introverts bypass small talk and open up quickly.Customer Obsession to People Obsession: The catalyst behind leaving big tech to build a business around social health and relational infrastructure.The Evolutionary Logic of Rejection: Why social exclusion feels like physical danger to the nervous system, and practical somatic tools to regulate through anxiety.The Danger of Frictionless Connection: Why AI chatbots and one-sided digital interactions cannot substitute for the messy, indispensable growth of real-world relationships.The Solo Strategy: Why showing up alone to recurring, shared-goal groups over 3–6 months is the most empirical path to making lasting adult friends.Resources Mentioned Substack: Come A Little FurtherConnection Feast: ConnectionFeast.comU.S. Chamber of Connection: ChamberofConnection.orgMenLiving: MenLiving.orgThe Path / Mental: GetMental.comLiterature & Media: Bowling Alone (Robert Putnam / Pete Davis documentary)

    Alexandra Friedman...The Lost Art of Friendship

  2. Jul 29

    Mark Ishaug...Lead with Love, Get Stuff Done

    Mark Ishaug has spent his career at the forefront of mission-driven advocacy and community healthcare. Before serving as the CEO of Thresholds--one of Illinois's largest and oldest providers of mental health and substance use recovery services--Mark spent two decades leading public policy and executive efforts at the AIDS Foundation of Chicago and AIDS United. Inspired early in life by his mother’s civil rights activism and cemented by personal tragedy--losing his 29-year-old brother, Eric, to undiagnosed mental illness and substance use--Mark has dedicated his life to creating tangible social impact for society's most vulnerable. In this episode of If You've Come This Far, Mark joins Chris and Shaun to unpack how love and power must intersect to build sustainable, high-impact organizations. He shares how Thresholds provides "Home, Health, and Hope" to over 13,000 individuals annually through supportive housing, mobile crisis response, and comprehensive behavioral health clinics. Grounded in pragmatism and deep empathy, Mark discusses the critical need to protect healthcare access, eradicate systemic stigma, and foster genuine human connection in an increasingly disconnected world. Highlights Defining Love as an Action and Business Foundation: How leading with love translates directly into organizational operations, listening to those on the margins, and driving systemic change.Personal Tragedy & The Mission Behind Thresholds: Mark opens up about losing his younger brother Eric at age 29, and how that personal loss fuels his commitment to mental healthcare reform."Home, Health, and Hope": The Scope of Thresholds: A look into how Thresholds operates 1,600+ housing units and Certified Community Behavioral Health Clinics (CCBHCs) to keep individuals supported in their communities.Navigating Policy Challenges & Systemic Threats: Examining the impact of Medicaid redeterminations and threats to the "Housing First" model on safety-net providers."We Show Up": Love in Action: How frontline caseworkers operationalized compassionate care through severe heatwaves, COVID-19, and daily community outreach.Resources Mentioned ThresholdsAIDS Foundation of ChicagoBowling Alone by Robert PutnamFestival! (Podcast) & Join or Die (Documentary) by Pete DavisSponsor: Mental App

    Mark Ishaug...Lead with Love, Get Stuff Done

  3. Jul 13

    Matthew Quick...Radical Acts of Love

    Matthew Quick returns to If You've Come This Far for his second appearance on the show to discuss his new memoir, Dad, Love, Me. In a raw conversation, Matthew opens up about his father’s battle with dementia, his own journey through sobriety, and the grueling but beautiful process of Jungian analysis. Offering an unfiltered look at generational trauma, he discusses the courageous choice to love a parent exactly as they are, without demanding they earn it. Pragmatic and deeply moving, this episode explores the profound impact of showing up, making peace with the past, and creating new narratives for the future. Highlights: Defining love as a choice to embrace someone in the present moment without needing them to earn it, particularly in the face of dementia.Breaking the cycle of father-son violence by making a conscious decision not to pass on inherited trauma to the next generation.The healing power of Jungian analysis and the importance of experiencing positive, altruistic male friendships.The difficult reality of writing a vulnerable memoir without family support and dealing with the tradition of secrecy in traumatized families.The feminization of reading and the critical need for older men to mentor younger men and guide them back to literature.Resources: Dad, Love, Me by Matthew QuickMental app (getmental.com)Joe Conrad's new book Man Therapy: Therapy the Way a Man Does It

    Matthew Quick...Radical Acts of Love

  4. Jun 30

    Ron Dresher & Brian Harris...Balancing Life

    In this episode of If You've Come This Far, Chris and Shaun sit down with Ron Dresher and Brian Harris, founders of the Los Angeles-based Life Transition Group. Approaching their 80s with the metabolic age and energy of men decades younger, Ron and Brian share how they built a thriving community designed to help men navigate the often-daunting shift out of full-time careers. They discuss the critical need for connection, empirical learning, and purpose in later life, emphasizing that retirement isn't just about financial readiness—it's about holistic well-being. Grounded in pragmatism and lived experience, the conversation explores the "CHAIRS" framework—Charity, Health, Achievement, Independence, Relationships, and Spirituality—as a practical guide for balancing our priorities through all of life's chapters. From the importance of giving back to the community to fostering deep, vulnerable friendships, Ron and Brian offer a pragmatic blueprint for aging gracefully, intentionally, and joyfully. Highlights: [04:12] The origins of the Life Transition Group and the realization that many men lack a roadmap for retirement beyond finances.[07:15] Breaking down the "CHAIRS" framework.[11:05] Why soft skills, such as nurturing relationships and maintaining spirituality, become crucial growth areas for aging men.[33:14] The concept of chronological age vs. metabolic age, and the critical difference between lifespan, healthspan, and "joyspan."[48:10] Ron's personal "GRAMPS" blueprint for life balance and his advice to his 10-year-old self about the paramount importance of relationships.Resources: Helen Dennis: Syndicated columnist and expert on aging and the new retirement.Dr. Michael Greger: Physician and author of How Not to Age and How Not to Die.PreNuvo: Preventative health and full-body MRI screening.GetMental: App designed to help men strengthen their mindset and achieve discipline.

    Ron Dresher & Brian Harris...Balancing Life

  5. Jun 15

    From the Vault: Fr. Michael Himes on Love

    In this "From the Vault" episode, Chris and Shaun are joined by MenLiving co-founder Todd Adams to reflect on the teachings of the late Father Michael Himes, a beloved Notre Dame and Boston College professor whom Chris considers the wisest person he’s ever known. Anchored by audio clips from Father Himes's beautiful "Last Lecture," the trio explores what it means to live a deeply meaningful life and the urgency of sharing our most authentic truths before our time runs out. They discuss integrity, giving one's self, uttering the definitive message, and more. Before diving into the vault, Chris also takes a moment to highlight real leadership by shouting out Chris "Chowdah" Hill on his promotion to Rear Admiral. Chowdah's focus on mental health, positive relationships, and mission aboard the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower serves as a modern, pragmatic example of the very principles Father Himes spent his life teaching. Resources Mentioned: Father Michael Himes's "Last Lecture" at Boston CollegeThe Way of the Warrior Sailor by Rear Admiral Chris "Chowdah" HillMenLiving (Co-founded by Todd Adams)This episode is brought to you by Judson & Moore, Family Legacy American Whiskey. Born from Boundless Curiosity. Learn more about Judson & Moore here

    From the Vault: Fr. Michael Himes on Love

  6. Jun 1

    Ed Frauenheim...Reinventing Masculinity

    In this episode of If You've Come This Far, Chris and Shaun sit down with Ed Frauenheim, an author, journalist, and advocate doing critical work around masculinity and men's health. Ed's career spans from technology journalism to studying organizational culture at Great Place to Work, but his current mission is deeply personal: helping men move past the isolated, stoic "cowboy" mentality to embrace emotional intelligence and community. Ed candidly shares his own wake-up calls, including a stress-induced heart attack in 2021 and a recent, grueling battle with appendix cancer that required a 10-hour surgery. Through these physical trials, and by reflecting on his upbringing with a father who struggled with an explosive temper, Ed illustrates why redefining toughness is literally a matter of life and death. It's a raw, pragmatic conversation about giving men the tools to ask for help, show vulnerability, and build authentic connections. Highlights: [04:15] The Birth of "F the Tough Guy": Ed shares the story of a ski lift operators' conference where a tragic string of suicides prompted a room full of stoic men to finally open up about mental health.[14:30] Making Peace with the Past: Ed discusses growing up in Buffalo with a father who had an explosive temper, and the healing power of acknowledging that pain while choosing forgiveness.[25:10] The Corporate Grind: A look back at Ed's career in tech journalism, the pressure to climb the corporate ladder, and realizing that the traditional metrics of success were leaving him unfulfilled.[41:00] Wake-Up Calls: Ed recounts his 2021 stress-induced heart attack and how ignoring his physical and mental limits caught up with him.[48:45] Surviving Cancer: Ed details his recent battle with appendix cancer, the 10-hour surgery he endured, and how leaning on his community for support ultimately saved him.Resources: Reinventing Masculinity by Ed Adams and Ed FrauenheimFrauenTimes (Ed's Substack)

    Ed Frauenheim...Reinventing Masculinity

  7. May 18

    Celine Coggins...Investing in Youth Mental Health

    Shaun and Chris connect with Celine Coggins, a lifelong educator, founder of Teach Plus, and the inaugural CEO of The Goodness Web. Celine shares her journey from growing up in a large Irish Catholic family in Massachusetts to navigating the rigorous worlds of Stanford and Harvard. The conversation explores her career transitions and her current mission with The Goodness Web: transforming youth mental health through collaborative, scalable venture philanthropy that moves past isolated efforts to fund systemic, nationwide solutions. We dive deep into: The Venture Philanthropy Model: Moving away from isolated, small-dollar grants toward pooled, million-dollar investments that can actually scale across schools and pediatric practices.The Gen X "Unlock": Why data shows that youth mental health is one of the most defining and deeply emotional issues of our generation's parents.The Teacher Retention Crisis: What public education can learn from the business world about rewarding talent and performance early in a career.The Reality of the "Anxious Generation": Navigating a landscape dominated by social media, hyper-connectivity, and the new frontiers of AI.Resources Mentioned: The Goodness Web (thegoodnessweb.org)Teach Plus (teachplus.org)Inseparable (inseparable.org)The Anxious Generation by Jonathan HaidtNAMI Chicago (namichicago.org)

    Celine Coggins...Investing in Youth Mental Health

  8. May 4

    Matt Davison...More Empathy in the Mental Health Space

    Chris and Shaun sit down with Matt Davison, the CEO of NAMI Chicago, to explore the intersection of law, advocacy, and radical empathy. Matt shares his transition from serving as a public defender and civil litigator to leading one of the nation's most prominent mental health advocacy organizations. He discusses the limitations of our current "triage" approach to mental health and why we must move "upstream" to address systemic issues before they become crises. Matt also opens up about his personal philosophy on "self-love" vs. "self-care," his concerns regarding the toxic impact of social media algorithms on youth, and the visceral moment on a Chicago Blue Line train that changed his perspective on systemic reform forever. This conversation is a pragmatic yet hopeful look at how we can build a more dignified system of care for all Chicagoans. Key Takeaways: The "Hammer and Nail" Fallacy: Why the criminal justice system is fundamentally ill-equipped to handle healthcare crises.The Blue Line Inflection Point: A powerful story about why individual advocacy isn't enough to fix a broken system.Upstream Intervention: The necessity of investing in community resources to prevent the "triage mode" of emergency rooms and jails.Social Media as a Public Health Crisis: Comparing modern algorithms to the "Big Tobacco" moment and their impact on youth body image.Self-Love vs. Self-Care: A therapist’s distinction between occasional treats and the daily practice of checking in with yourself.Resources Mentioned: NAMI Chicago: namichicago.org988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988 for immediate supportThanks to our sponsor, Mental. Mental is a wellness app built specifically for men, offering a sanctuary from "toxic positivity" and generic advice. It provides personalized, affordable, and science-backed support through real-life coaching designed to help you navigate life's messiest challenges. If you've been thinking about doing something for your mental health, visit https://app.getmental.com/subscribe to get started. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps more people find these important conversations!

    Matt Davison...More Empathy in the Mental Health Space
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5
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About

a podcast where Shaun and Chris simply aim to have authentic conversations with interesting people about what they do to make life more fulfilling and more impactful.

Information

  • Creator
    Shaun Emerson & Chris Lozier
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    97
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © MenLiving 2021
  • Show Website
    If You've Come This Far

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