Not Too Sensitive - Empowering Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) To Own Their Sensitivity

Alissa Boyer
  • 4.9 (149)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Have you been told you're "too sensitive" or "too emotional"? Do you often feel drained by other people? Are you moved to tears easily? If so... you just may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Join host and HSP Mentor, Alissa Boyer, as she breaks the stigma of sensitivity and teaches you how to embrace your sensitivity as a gift. Here, you'll always be welcomed exactly as you are. New episodes every Tuesday!

  1. 4d ago

    261. "I Can Survive Being Disliked" (And So Can You): The Good Girl Conditioning Episode

    In this episode, Alissa revists the topic of good girl conditioning and why so many highly sensitive women build an entire identity around being the responsible one, the kind one, the person who never rocks the boat. She looks at what happens when agreeableness stops being a natural expression of your sensitivity and starts becoming a way of abandoning yourself to keep everyone else comfortable. The traits themselves are often innate, but the problem is when they are expressed at the cost of self-abandonment. Alissa names the fear sitting underneath it all: the fear of shining too brightly and being disliked for it. Through her own story of a work friendship that went cold the moment she got promoted, and the clients she has watched give themselves permission to take up space, she walks through what it looks like to expand your tolerance for discomfort and stop managing everyone else's reaction to you. In this episode, you'll learn: Why being the responsible, easygoing one can quietly turn into abandoning your own needsHow the fear of shining too brightly keeps so many highly sensitive women playing smallWhat it means that other people benefit from you never setting a boundary or speaking upWhy stepping out of the good girl identity almost always brings pushback, and how to be okay with thatHow to hold the guilt of someone being upset and still trust that you did the right thingWhy giving people the dignity of their own reactions frees you from carrying everyone Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  2. Sep 8

    260. Am I Overreacting, or Do I Actually Need a Boundary? An HSP Guide to Trusting Your Own Reaction

    In this episode, Alissa tackles a question she hears constantly. "How do you know if you're actually allowed to be upset, or if you're just being too sensitive?" If you've ever replayed a conversation for days, questioned your own reaction, or wondered if you made something out of nothing, this one's for you. Alissa traces that self-doubt back to where it actually started, and what it takes to fully trust yourself even when someone else insists you're overreacting. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the question "am I overreacting or do I have a right to be upset" usually points to a deeper lack of self-trustWhy the people who dismissed your reactions were often responding from their own depletionWhat writing out your personal values and boundaries does for you in the middle of a triggering momentHow to recognize when a reaction is bigger than the situation because it's hitting an old woundWhy "cleaning up your side of the street" comes before deciding whether a boundary conversation is necessary Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  3. Sep 1

    259. How to Stop Feeling Like a Pushover in Conflict and Stand Firm When You Feel Wronged

    In this episode, Alissa gets into why the instinct to smooth things over the second someone reacts to your boundary is actually a form of people pleasing, and why building your tolerance for that discomfort is the first step toward feeling unbotherable. Alissa traces this back to the fear of abandonment underneath it, whether that shows up as a partner flipping the story back on you or a family member waving off a hurtful comment as a joke. She shows how the pattern gets reinforced every time it's smoothed over instead of named, and why noticing what's actually driving the rush to resolution is what starts to shift the pattern. Alissa shares what it actually looks like to sit in the discomfort of a boundary instead of collapsing it, so you can source your safety and self-respect from within instead of from someone else's reaction. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the urge to smooth things over the moment your boundary lands is people pleasingHow to recognize when you're rushing to resolution out of a fear of abandonment rather than genuine repairWhy letting someone avoid the consequences of their own behavior quietly teaches them how to treat youHow trusting what your body is telling you becomes more reliable than the story someone else is offering in the momentWhy pushback from someone who's benefited from your smallness is a sign you're doing this right, not a sign you did something wrong Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  4. Aug 25

    258. Why Am I So Triggered? How to Get to the Root and Feel Unbotherable

    In this episode, Alissa gets into why triggers land the way they do and why finding the root cause is the first step toward feeling steady, unshakable, and less at the mercy of what everyone around you is doing. Most triggers trace back to one of two places, an old wound from the past or an unmet need in the present. Alissa shows how naming that root pulls the charge out of it, so emotional memory stops determining your responses. Alissa walks through what it actually looks like to clean up your side of the street so you can confidently source your safety from within. In this episode, you'll learn: Why a reaction that feels disproportionate to the moment is a clue you've been triggeredThe two roots of most triggers, an old wound or an unmet need, and how to tell which one is showing upHow pulling the charge out of a past experience lets a familiar situation lose its gripWhat "cleaning up your side of the street" looks like before you decide whether a conversation is even neededWhy working through a trigger once makes it quieter every single time it comes backHow sourcing your safety from within frees you from living at the mercy of other people's choices Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  5. Aug 18

    257. "I'm the type of person who..." Shifting Your Self-Concept By Changing the Way You Talk to Yourself

    In this week's episode, Alissa shares a quick hack that quietly rewrites how you see yourself: "I'm the type of person who..." So often you pin your happiness on the outcome, the finished book, the dream partner, the number of followers. Alissa offers an alternative, letting the process itself become the proof and validation of who you're becoming. Every time you act like the person you want to be, you teach yourself to expect that version of you to show up (even when you don't feel like it). In this episode, you'll learn: How the phrase "I'm the type of person who" shifts your self-concept in real timeWhy tying your happiness to the outcome makes the whole journey feel worseHow to turn everyday hard moments into evidence of who you're becomingWhat showing up to an almost empty room taught Alissa about building real confidenceHow to use this practice with people pleasing, exercise, dating, and creative workWhy falling off track is its own chance to prove the kind of person you are Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  6. Aug 11

    256. You're Not a Burden: Advocating for Yourself with Chronic Illness or High Sensitivity w/ Celiac Coach, Jen Fitzpatrick

    For most highly sensitive people, advocating for a physical need feels like being a burden. Jen Fitzpatrick, a celiac advocate and founder of the Confident Celiac Community, joins Alissa to talk about the years she spent staying quiet about her own needs and the shift that finally changed it. The tension is one a lot of HSPs with a chronic condition know well. Speaking up is what keeps you safe, but every people pleasing instinct says stay quiet instead. Alissa and Jen unpack why that instinct runs so deep and how to move through it anyway. Pulling from Jen's diagnosis story, a study abroad trip where she watched everyone else eat what she couldn't, and Alissa's own experience navigating her daughter's recent diagnosis, the conversation moves through shame, community and self worth. In this episode, you'll learn: Why highly sensitive people are especially likely to stay quiet about a chronic health needJen's own story of cross contamination scares and learning to advocate for herself after years of people pleasingThe simple swap that changed everything for Jen, saying thank you instead of sorryWhy choosing ten seconds of social discomfort is almost always worth it over days of physical painHow finding community turned a hard diagnosis into something less isolating for both Jen and Alissa Follow Jen: Website: https://www.thenomadicfitzpatricks.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenomadicfitz Self-Love Toolkit: https://the-nomadic-fitzpatricks-gluten-free.teachable.com/p/celiac-self-love-toolkit-1059254 Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  7. Aug 4

    255. Character Development and What Your North Node Reveals About the Person You're Becoming

    In this episode, Alissa breaks down why every hard season is building something in you that easy seasons never could, tracing the idea back to astrology, her own birth chart, and a realization that caught her off guard through her daughter Blaine's health diagnoses. She walks you through how to see every uncomfortable, triggering situation as character development and opportunities for growth. In this episode, you'll learn: What your North Node and South Node reveal about your natural strengths versus the traits you're still growing intoHow raising her daughter through celiac disease and Type 1 diabetes diagnoses is developing the structured, disciplined side of Alissa that used to feel completely foreignWhy a demanding boss, an unexplained health symptom, or another uncomfortable dynamic might be pointing to a part of your character that's ready to developThe difference between staying in a toxic environment and choosing a challenge that's actually building youWhat the growth gap is and why the space between your old identity and your new one feels so uncomfortableWhy letting fear of judgment, like worrying what old classmates will think, keep you from starting something is really just self-sabotage in disguise Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  8. Jul 28

    254. Stop Reading Silence as Rejection: The HSP Fawn Response Explained

    When someone's energy feels a little different than usual, quieter, colder, more reserved, your mind starts filling in the silence with a story about what you did wrong. This week Alissa breaks down where that hypervigilance actually comes from and why your mind rushing to assume the worst rarely has anything to do with what's actually happening. Pulling from her own patterns and stories from women in the Not Too Sensitive Club, Alissa walks through how to catch the spiral before it takes over. In this episode, you'll learn: Why your mind rushes to fill in the silence when someone seems distant or short with youThe childhood origin of hypervigilance and why it gets mistaken for high sensitivityHow to create space between a triggering moment and the story you decide to believe about itThe exercise for completing the anxiety loop and realizing you could survive the worst case scenarioWhy overcompensating to win over a cold or quiet person is really about your own comfort, not the connectionHow choosing a new response in triggering moments builds a steadier, more confident identity over time Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

See All (263)

Trailer

4.9
out of 5
149 Ratings

About

Have you been told you're "too sensitive" or "too emotional"? Do you often feel drained by other people? Are you moved to tears easily? If so... you just may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Join host and HSP Mentor, Alissa Boyer, as she breaks the stigma of sensitivity and teaches you how to embrace your sensitivity as a gift. Here, you'll always be welcomed exactly as you are. New episodes every Tuesday!

Information

You Might Also Like