How Not To Suck At Divorce

Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
  • 4.7 (296)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Action steps that save you money. Humor that saves your sanity. Honesty that helps you heal. How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clear answers, smart strategy and support through life before, during and after divorce. Hosted by family-law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill and comedian and marketing expert Andrea Rappaport, we break down the parts of divorce that can feel impossible to navigate — divorce preparation, high-conflict spouses, narcissistic behavior and manipulation, child custody, co-parenting and parallel parenting, money and property, legal strategy, negotiation, divorce anxiety and life after divorce. You’ll hear practical advice from leading divorce attorneys, therapists, financial professionals and other experts, along with honest conversations about what divorce actually feels like. Our goal is simple: help you avoid expensive mistakes, understand your options and make decisions you’ll still feel good about years from now. You don’t have to figure out divorce by yourself. We’ve got you.

  1. 2d ago

    Divorce Problem: What to do if Your Spouse Won’t Accept That the Marriage is Over.

    Thinking about divorce? Get prepared with our Divorce Crash Course. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. Get the private podcast and guidebook to help you understand the process, ask better questions, and avoid expensive mistakes. You’ve done the therapy. You’ve hired a lawyer. You finally say, “I want a divorce.” Suddenly, the spouse who has spent months telling you they’re unhappy wants to stay together, try counseling, or live as roommates until the kids turn 18. Are you allowed to still feel done when they’ve decided they’re not? In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, comedian and marketing professional Andrea Rappaport and family-law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill answer a listener’s question about a spouse who reverses course on divorce—and leaves them feeling guilty, confused, and stuck in limbo. We discuss how to separate emotional pressure from decisions about your divorce case, what to tell your attorney when your spouse suddenly wants to reconcile, and why promises to change deserve a closer look. Sometimes a wake-up call leads to real effort. Sometimes it buys more time. The question is what’s happening in your marriage—and what you want to do next. We also explore discernment counseling, setting boundaries around repeated arguments, and the pressure to “stay together for the kids.” Turning 18 doesn’t make children immune to the effects of divorce, and choosing your next step deserves guidance specific to your family. And because this is our show, we finish with an imaginary Starbucks partnership, emergency divorce support delivered by helicopter, and a DM that absolutely should have stayed in drafts. In this episode, we discuss: What happens when you want a divorce and your spouse suddenly wants to stay married.How a spouse’s reversal can leave you questioning a decision you worked hard to make.What to discuss with your lawyer before pausing or withdrawing divorce proceedings.How discernment counseling differs from couples therapy.Looking at actions alongside promises when considering reconciliation.Setting boundaries when your spouse keeps debating your reasons for leaving.Using brief, informative, friendly, and firm communication.Why “wait until the kids are 18” deserves more than an automatic yes.Getting individual support while deciding whether to stay or go. Episode timestamps 00:00 — You want a divorce. Suddenly, your spouse doesn’t. 01:18 — The listener’s story: “Let’s stay roommates until the kids are grown.” 02:39 — Emotional whiplash, manipulation, and feeling stuck. 05:19 — Should you keep explaining why you want to leave? 09:44 — What to tell your attorney when your spouse reverses course. 11:01 — Discernment counseling versus couples therapy. 12:19 — A genuine wake-up call—or more time to prepare? 16:21 — Stop putting your marriage on trial every night. 17:25 — Setting boundaries and keeping conflict away from the kids. 18:52 — Should you stay married until your children turn 18? 23:34 — Andrea’s experience leaving with young children. 25:59 — Planning next steps while you’re still under the same roof. 28:58 — The weekend DM we were not prepared for. 32:15 — Getting support before you move forward. Resources to help you take the next step Divorce Crash Course Our private podcast and guidebook help you prepare for divorce and make more informed decisions. $50, typically $150, thanks to OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. Guided Meditations for Divorce When your thoughts won’t slow down, take a moment to pause, breathe, and regroup before your next difficult conversation. OurFamilyWizard: 20% Off Your First Year Explore tools for organizing coparenting communication, schedules, and expenses. Use our link for 20% off your first year. Divorce Podcast Playlists Find episodes grouped by the issues you’re navigating, so you can get to the conversations you need. Join our private community Visit How Not to Suck at Divorce for information about our private Facebook community and additional resources. If this episode helped you feel less alone, follow the show, leave a rating or review, and share it with someone who needs it. Have a question you’d like us to cover? Send it our way. Please keep your shirt on. This episode provides general information, not legal or mental-health advice. Consult your own attorney and licensed mental-health professional about your circumstances. You have got this. And we’ve got you. Mentioned in this episode: Our Family Wizard How Not to Suck at Divorce is proud to be the only podcast that can offer you 20% off your first year of the essentials package. Visit Our Family Wizard to ask your attorney is OFW is right for your family. Our Family Wizard

  2. 4d ago

    Divorce Questions Answered: A Stalling Spouse & a Lawyer Who Won’t Call Back

    Get the Divorce Crash Course for $50 Get practical divorce guidance with our private podcast and companion guidebook. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Your spouse is stalling. Your lawyer isn’t calling back. And you’re worried those angry texts might come back to haunt you. What now? In this listener Q&A episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, family-law attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport answer questions from our private community about divorce delays, coparenting communication, attorney responsiveness, and telling children about divorce after infidelity. We discuss what to do when your spouse won’t move forward—whether you’re still deciding how to leave or already navigating the divorce process. Morgan explains how attorney-guided discovery, court deadlines, and trial scheduling may help move a stalled case forward, along with the risks you need to understand before taking that step. We also address a question many listeners quietly worry about: What if I sent the angry texts before I knew better? Taking responsibility and showing consistent improvement can matter. It doesn’t erase past behavior, but it gives you a path toward better communication. Then we tackle the frustration of waiting weeks for your divorce lawyer to respond, when to discuss expectations, and when a second opinion may be worth considering. Finally, we talk about infidelity, protecting children from adult conflict, and getting support for difficult questions about why the marriage is ending. Plus: meet Victoria, our newest fictional character, and hear why Morgan’s influencer-inspired hair rollers were almost grounds for divorce. In this episode: What to do when your spouse is delaying divorce.How legal deadlines may help move negotiations forward.Why scheduling a trial doesn’t guarantee a settlement—or mean a trial is inevitable.How to address past angry texts and improve coparenting communication.What to ask when your divorce attorney takes weeks to respond.When to consider a second legal opinion.Why children shouldn’t become the audience for your pain over an affair.Where to find support for age-appropriate divorce conversations. Episode timestamps 01:25 — My spouse is stalling. How do I regain some control? 03:26 — What if we’ve already filed for divorce? 08:45 — Can my past angry texts hurt my divorce case? 15:28 — OurFamilyWizard: 20% off your first year. 15:55 — My lawyer takes weeks to respond. Should I get a second opinion? 21:45 — Introducing Victoria. 23:30 — Should I tell the kids we’re divorcing because of infidelity? 29:30 — Hair rollers, Amazon dupes, and the burnt-orange joggers. Save 20% on your first year of OurFamilyWizard Explore tools to help organize coparenting communication and discuss whether OurFamilyWizard is right for your family with your attorney. https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20 Need a moment to calm your mind? Our divorce guided meditations offer a place to pause when the waiting, conflict, and uncertainty feel overwhelming. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guides/p/divorce-guided-meditations Find episodes for what you’re dealing with Explore our topic playlists, including episodes about infidelity, and visit our website for guides and divorce resources. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast-playlists Keep the conversation going Join our private Facebook community through our website to ask questions and connect with other people navigating divorce. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com Follow How Not to Suck at Divorce and leave a rating or review to help more people find the show. This episode provides general information, not legal advice. Legal options and outcomes depend on your circumstances and jurisdiction. Consult your own attorney about your situation. Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ve got this—and we’ve got you.

  3. Oct 2

    Divorce & Co-Parenting Conflict: When to Call Your Lawyer or GAL

    Going through divorce? Get the Divorce Crash Course before you make an expensive mistake. Our Divorce Crash Course includes a private podcast and printable workbook with parenting agreement guidance, questions to ask your attorney, and communication templates to help you get organized. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. Get the Divorce Crash Course Your co-parent did something that pissed you off. Does your attorney need to hear about it? The kids come home in clothes that stopped fitting three years ago. Your ex introduces a new partner without following the parenting agreement. Someone buys concert tickets on your parenting night—and tells your child before asking you. Meanwhile, you’re finding out about school issues after everybody else. When you’re navigating a high-conflict divorce or custody dispute, it can be hard to tell the difference between an irritating interaction and a concern that deserves professional attention. Ignoring everything doesn’t feel right. Paying your attorney to address every problem gets expensive. So how do you decide? In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport welcomes back Atlanta family law attorney, former judge, and guardian ad litem Dan Bloom to work through real co-parenting scenarios. Dan keeps returning to one question: How is this affecting your child? Andrea and Dan explore why context matters, how to recognize patterns, and how to raise concerns with your attorney or guardian ad litem without turning every email into a custody battle. They also discuss why asking children to keep secrets between households changes the conversation—and how to respond when your child shares something uncomfortable. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to assess co-parenting conflict by its effect on your child.When clothing disputes become more than an argument about missing outfits.What to consider when an ex introduces a new partner outside the parenting agreement.How to support a child who has been told to keep a secret from you.How to handle activities scheduled during your parenting time.Why repeated exclusion from teacher emails and school information deserves attention.How to document concerns without spending every day reliving them.Why Dan generally recommends checking with your attorney before raising an issue with a GAL.How to ask for help in a way that focuses on your child and a workable solution. What matters to your child may be different from what bothers you. A missing shirt may not affect your child’s day. A missing comfort item that helps them sleep might. An inaccurate comment to a friend may be frustrating; misleading a teacher about the other parent’s involvement can have different consequences. Dan explains why the details matter more than assigning every incident the same level of urgency. The conversation also tackles the emotional trap of trying to get your ex to admit you’re right. You may never receive that apology or satisfying final email. The more useful goal is protecting your child from the conflict, recognizing concerns that need attention, and choosing a response that serves your family. Connect with Dan Bloom Dan consults on high-conflict custody matters in Georgia and throughout the country. If you need help thinking through difficult co-parenting situations or preparing to communicate with a GAL, reach out to ask whether his consulting services are a fit. Learn more about Dan Bloom Contact Dan’s firm Keep co-parenting communication in one place with OurFamilyWizard. Andrea discusses how OurFamilyWizard can help keep messages organized and available for later review. The episode also covers using its tone tools to reconsider a message before frustration takes over the conversation. Explore OurFamilyWizard Before you send the angry message, give yourself a few minutes. Our Guided Divorce Meditations include 11 short meditations created for difficult divorce moments, including worry about your kids, parenting exchanges, loneliness, and frustration with the process. Listen privately through your favorite podcast app when you need support before deciding what to do next. Get the Guided Divorce Meditations Subscribe to How Not to Suck at Divorce, share this episode with someone navigating a difficult co-parenting relationship, and leave us a review. You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.

  4. Sep 30

    Divorce & Co-Parenting- Holidays: What Your Parenting Plan Is Missing

    Going through divorce? Start with the Divorce Crash Course. Before you agree to a parenting schedule, make sure you understand what you’re agreeing to. Our Divorce Crash Course includes a private podcast and printable workbook with parenting agreement guidance, questions to ask your attorney, and email templates to help you communicate more efficiently. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. Get the Divorce Crash Course “We’ll alternate holidays.” Great. What does that actually mean? Who gets Halloween? Does Thanksgiving parenting time include enough days to travel to see family? What happens when your child’s birthday falls on your ex’s day—and the two-hour visit you negotiated makes everyone miserable? In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle holiday parenting schedules, co-parenting conflict, and the emotional reality of spending holidays without your kids. Both hosts arrive tired and cranky, which means the advice is practical, the opinions are strong, and nobody is pretending this is easy. Andrea shares the holiday travel detail she missed in her own parenting agreement, along with what she learned from her first Thanksgiving away from her children. Morgan explains why family traditions, realistic exchange times, and your children’s changing needs deserve attention before you finalize a holiday schedule. They also discuss the potential benefits—and complications—of including an option to review parenting arrangements through mediation. The conversation gets into the details that can make holidays harder than they need to be: splitting trick-or-treating between households, calling in the middle of a family celebration, and making children feel responsible for a parent’s loneliness. You’re allowed to miss your kids. The challenge is finding support for those feelings while giving your children room to enjoy their time with their other parent. In this episode, we discuss: What to consider before agreeing to alternate holidays after divorce.Why out-of-state family visits may require more than one day of parenting time.How to identify the traditions that matter most to each household.Why a parenting schedule for toddlers may need a fresh look as children grow.The benefits and risks of future mediation or schedule-review provisions.Halloween, birthdays, and the pressure of switching households during a celebration.How to plan a brief, reassuring holiday check-in without grilling your kids.Creating something to look forward to together—even when you don’t have the actual holiday. You don’t need an expensive trip or elaborate celebration to make meaningful memories. A movie night, favorite snacks, or your own Thanksgiving on Saturday can give you and your kids something to anticipate. The calendar date doesn’t have to carry the entire relationship. Missing your kids? Start with our Guided Divorce Meditations. The hours before an exchange—or the quiet after your kids leave—can be some of the hardest. Our 11 short guided divorce meditations were created for moments like missing your children, feeling lonely, worrying about the future, and struggling to sleep. Listen privately through your favorite podcast app when you need a little support getting through the next few minutes. Get the Guided Divorce Meditations Keep holiday planning organized with OurFamilyWizard. When holiday plans involve travel requests, schedule changes, and messages with your co-parent, having a shared place to communicate can help you keep track of the details. Learn more about OurFamilyWizard, a supporter of How Not to Suck at Divorce and an angel underwriter of our Divorce Crash Course. And remember, we are the only podcast that can save you 20% on your first year. Explore OurFamilyWizard Subscribe to How Not to Suck at Divorce, share this episode with someone navigating their first holiday season after separation, and leave us a review. You’ve got this. And we’ve got you. Mentioned in this episode: Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value. What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible. It’s completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner. Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.

  5. Sep 25

    Divorce: How to Take Your Power Back From a Controlling Ex

    Need help getting through divorce right now?🎧 Start with our Guided Divorce Meditations If your nervous system is completely fried, your thoughts are racing, or you feel like your ex has way too much control over your emotional state, start here. Our guided divorce meditations were created specifically for the moments when divorce anxiety feels overwhelming. 💥 Get the Divorce Crash Course If you’re at the beginning of divorce — or you feel completely lost in the process — the Divorce Crash Course gives you the tools, information, checklists and guidance we wish everyone had from day one. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. Our Family Wizard The co parenting app designed to help you during and after your divorce. Celebrities use it- you should too. And we are the only podcast that can get you 20% off your first year. Click the link above. Feeling Powerless During Divorce? Start Here.One of the most brutal parts of divorce is the feeling that someone else suddenly has control over your life. Your spouse may seem to control the money. The schedule. The kids. The pace of the divorce. Your emotional state. Maybe even whether you have a good day or a completely disastrous one. But feeling powerless and actually being powerless are not the same thing. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea sits down with former family law attorney and OurFamilyWizard Legal Liaison Nikol Sotos to talk about how to take your power back during divorce — especially when you’re dealing with a controlling or high-conflict ex. Nikol explains that one of the biggest mistakes people make when they feel overwhelmed is giving away control without even realizing it — sometimes to their ex, and sometimes even to their own attorney. Your lawyer can advise you, protect you and help you make strategic decisions, but this is still your life. And taking your power back does not mean becoming more aggressive. It often means doing less. Stop Reacting to Every TextIf your ex sends an inflammatory message designed to make you explode, the most powerful response may be no response at all — at least not immediately. Andrea and Nikol talk about moving away from emotional reactions and toward strategic communication. Instead of firing back when your ex sends something infuriating, pause. Let your nervous system settle. Respond only to what actually requires a response. Sometimes that response is simply: “Thanks for the text.” Or: “Got it.” Or nothing. Because when someone is hoping to provoke you, refusing to give them the reaction they expect can change the entire dynamic. Document Everything — Even If Your Divorce Isn’t High ConflictAnother unpopular opinion from Andrea: documenting is not just for ugly divorces. Even an amicable divorce can change quickly. A new partner enters the picture. Someone changes their position. A parenting disagreement escalates. Suddenly a conversation you thought everyone remembered very differently becomes important. Nikol recommends creating a paper trail regardless of the current conflict level. Create a separate email account for your divorce. Keep documents organized. Change passwords your spouse may know. Protect your privacy and your digital information. And please — do not announce to your ex that you are documenting them. Just document. Inside the Divorce Crash Course, we also give you a timeline tool to help organize important events and information during your case. Boundaries Are Not the Same Thing as ControlCreating boundaries during divorce can feel strange, particularly if your lives were completely intertwined for years. Changing passwords. Opening your own account. Creating a separate email. Deciding when you are available to respond. Those actions can feel dramatic when you have never needed those boundaries before. But boundaries are about controlling your own environment, not controlling your ex. That distinction matters. Taking your power back does not mean dominating the other person. It means managing what happens inside your own life, your home, your mind and your emotional world. Make Tiny Changes When Everything Feels Out of ControlTaking back control does not always start with a huge legal decision. Sometimes it starts absurdly small. Walk a different route. Order something different at Starbucks. Change one part of your morning routine. Do something that reminds your brain: I still make choices. Nikol explains that these small changes can interrupt the feeling that every part of your life is happening to you. No, switching from half-and-half to almond milk will not change the outcome of your divorce. But rebuilding your sense of agency in small areas can help you regulate your emotions — which can make it easier to make smarter decisions in the areas that really do matter. Your Ex’s Emergency Is Not Always Your EmergencyYou do not need to immediately answer every message. You do not need to abandon dinner with your friends because your ex sent 17 texts. Unless there is an actual emergency involving your children or another urgent situation, you are allowed to take time before responding. Nikol shares the story of a woman in a long, high-conflict divorce who began feeling dramatically more in control when she finally realized she did not have to react to everything her ex threw at her. That shift — from reacting to strategizing — is where power starts to return. In This Episode:Why divorce can make even confident people feel powerlessHow fear and uncertainty affect your decision-makingWhy you shouldn’t hand your entire life over to your attorneyHow to stop reacting to inflammatory texts from your exWhy silence can sometimes be incredibly powerfulHow to communicate with a controlling or high-conflict exWhy documentation matters even in an amicable divorceWhy you should create a separate email account for your divorceChanging passwords and creating digital boundariesThe difference between setting boundaries and trying to control someoneHow small daily changes can rebuild your sense of controlWhy your ex’s urgency does not automatically become your emergencyHow OurFamilyWizard’s ToneMeter can help keep communication neutralHow to think more strategically and less emotionally during divorce Divorce can make you feel like your life is completely out of your hands. It isn’t. You may not be able to control what your ex does, what they say, how quickly the process moves or every decision made in your case. But you can control your responses, your boundaries, your documentation, your communication and the choices you make next. And sometimes that is exactly how you begin getting your power back.

  6. Sep 23

    Divorce Advice Nobody Wants to Hear: 10 Unpopular Opinions

    Divorce comes with a lot of advice. Andrea has some opinions about that advice. Get the Divorce Crash Course Get the Guided Divorce Meditations In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea shares 10 of her most unpopular divorce opinions—the ones that might make your lawyer raise an eyebrow, your mother clutch her pearls, or your group chat light up. Some of them are practical: you and your spouse should have separate attorneys, even if the divorce is amicable. Some are emotional: losing friends during divorce can be completely normal, and therapy should be treated as an essential part of the process, not an afterthought. And some might be a little more controversial—like the idea that dating during divorce is not automatically a terrible decision, as long as you talk to your attorney first and understand how complicated it can become. Andrea also tackles one of the hardest parts of co-parenting during divorce: what to do when your ex is behaving badly in front of the kids. Pretending unhealthy behavior is normal can be confusing for children, but criticizing the other parent can pull them directly into the conflict. The goal is to address the behavior without making your child responsible for the adult problem. And then there’s the survival stuff nobody talks about enough. Maybe you need to talk to your doctor about medication if your anxiety, sleep, appetite, or ability to function are falling apart. Maybe you desperately need a hobby that has absolutely nothing to do with your divorce. Maybe buying the sweater, getting your nails done, ordering takeout, or replacing your sheets is exactly the small reminder you need that your entire life has not been put on hold. And yes, Andrea is also making the case for watching more television—especially at night, when divorce anxiety has a way of turning you into a private investigator rereading texts, emails, locations, and Venmo transactions. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is turn off your divorce brain and binge something deeply unserious instead. Finally, Andrea takes on the marital home. Keeping the house after divorce can feel deeply important, especially when children are involved. But if keeping it leaves you financially stretched, unable to rebuild savings, or constantly afraid of the next major expense, it may not actually be protecting you or your kids. A house is not the only place where you can create safety, stability, and family. This episode is not a list of rules. It’s permission to question some of the divorce advice we hear over and over again—and to remember that your life does not have to stop while your divorce is happening. Because divorce is part of your life. It does not get to become your whole life. In this episode:Why Andrea believes divorcing spouses should have separate attorneysWhy losing—and making—friends during divorce can be completely normalWhy therapy may be one of the most important forms of divorce supportHow to address unhealthy behavior from an ex without putting kids in the middleThe pros, cons, and complications of dating during divorceWhy it may be worth talking to your doctor about mental-health supportWhy hobbies, television, and small treats can actually help you copeWhy keeping the marital home is not always the best financial or emotional decision Andrea’s 10 Unpopular Divorce Opinions1.You and your spouse should not share an attorney. Even in an amicable divorce, each person should have independent legal advice and someone protecting their individual interests. 2.You may lose friends during divorce — and make new ones. Divorce changes relationships. Some friendships fade, others deepen, and some may exist only for this particular season of your life. 3.You need a therapist during divorce. Divorce can trigger anxiety, grief, anger, childhood trauma, and other issues that go far beyond the legal process. 4.If your ex is behaving badly, you can address that behavior with your kids. The key is talking about unhealthy behavior without criticizing the other parent or pulling your child into the conflict. 5.Dating during divorce is not automatically a bad idea. Talk to your attorney first, understand the potential complications, and know that dating can be either a welcome distraction or a giant additional headache. 6.You may need medication during divorce. If anxiety, depression, sleep problems, or stress are interfering with your ability to function, talk to your doctor and therapist rather than ignoring your mental health. 7.You need a hobby during divorce. Having something in your life that has nothing to do with your case can be incredibly helpful for your mental health. 8.You should still treat yourself. Within reason, your entire life does not need to stop because you are getting divorced. 9.Watching more TV during divorce may actually help. Especially at night, distraction can keep you from spiraling, rereading texts, checking accounts, or obsessing over your case. 10.Keeping the marital home is not always the right decision. If keeping the house leaves you financially strained, walking away from it may ultimately create more stability for you and your children. email us hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com

  7. Sep 18

    7 Divorce Mistakes That Make Your Case More Expensive

    Divorce Crash Course If you want more help understanding the divorce process, avoiding expensive mistakes, and knowing what to expect before you make major decisions, check out the Divorce Crash Course. Guided Divorce Meditations For the moments when you’re about to send the email, respond to your ex, or completely lose your shit, our guided meditations are designed to help you calm your nervous system before you make the situation more expensive.Your divorce lawyer may be expensive — but sometimes the thing making your divorce even more expensive is… you. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan break down the habits that can make a divorce case harder, longer, and more expensive, even when you think you’re being helpful. From trying to run your own legal strategy to rewriting documents with AI, over-emailing your attorney, negotiating with your ex without being prepared, and withholding important information, this episode is basically a loving intervention from your divorce lawyer. Morgan explains why clients sometimes accidentally create more legal work by trying to save money. One major example? Redlining legal documents or using AI to rewrite agreements without understanding whether those changes would actually work in court. That often means your attorney has to undo the work, start over, and spend even more billable time fixing it. Andrea and Morgan also talk about the emotional reason people do this in the first place: divorce is terrifying. When your children, finances, home, and future are involved, it can feel impossible to hand over control to another person. But that fear can push you into micromanaging your lawyer, chasing answers that don’t exist yet, or relying too heavily on AI for legal strategy. You’ll also learn a smarter way to communicate with your attorney, including when to pick up the phone instead of sending a novel-length email, how to comment on a legal document without trying to rewrite it yourself, and the exact kind of question to ask when you’re waiting on opposing counsel and starting to panic. The episode also tackles one of the biggest traps in high-conflict divorce: negotiating directly with your ex when there is a history of control, pressure, or manipulation. Morgan explains when direct negotiation can actually save money — and when it can backfire badly if you go into the conversation without knowing your legal boundaries. And finally: do not hide things from your lawyer. Whether it’s a fight, missing money, an agreement you made directly with your ex, or something you’re embarrassed to admit, your attorney cannot protect you from information they do not have. Morgan explains why withholding key facts can seriously damage your case — and in some situations can even lead an attorney to withdraw from representing you. What You’ll LearnWhy trying to be your own divorce lawyer can cost you more moneyWhen AI can help during divorce — and when it absolutely should notWhy you should not use ChatGPT or Claude as your legal strategistHow to communicate with your divorce attorney without racking up unnecessary feesWhen to call your lawyer instead of sending a long emailHow to review legal documents without rewriting them yourselfWhat to do when opposing counsel is not respondingHow to negotiate with your ex without getting pressured into a bad dealWhy you need to tell your divorce lawyer the whole truthHow fear and anxiety can quietly make your divorce more expensive A Better Way to Follow Up With Your Divorce LawyerIf you’re waiting for a response from opposing counsel, Andrea and Morgan suggest asking something like: “It’s been X amount of time since we heard from opposing counsel. What is a realistic timeframe for a response, and if we don’t hear back by then, what would our next step be?” That gives you information, a timeline, and a plan — without sending your lawyer four emails in one week asking whether they’ve heard anything yet. Divorce, AI, and Your Legal StrategyAI can be incredibly useful for organizing information, brainstorming questions, calming yourself down, or helping you prepare for a conversation. But AI does not know your judge. It does not know your local court. It does not understand the history of your case the way your attorney does. And it may confidently give you an answer that sounds brilliant and is completely wrong for your situation. Use the robot. Just don’t let the robot run your divorce. ResourcesDivorce Crash Course If you want more help understanding the divorce process, avoiding expensive mistakes, and knowing what to expect before you make major decisions, check out the Divorce Crash Course. Guided Divorce Meditations For the moments when you’re about to send the email, respond to your ex, or completely lose your shit, our guided meditations are designed to help you calm your nervous system before you make the situation more expensive. Our Family Wizard Our Family Wizard is the most respected coparenting app and we seriously want you to consider it. and We are the only podcast that can save you 20% off your first year. Private Community Join our free private community for support from people who actually understand what this process feels like. Mentioned in this episode: Our Family Wizard How Not to Suck at Divorce is proud to be the only podcast that can offer you 20% off your first year of the essentials package. Visit Our Family Wizard to ask your attorney is OFW is right for your family. Our Family Wizard

  8. Sep 16

    High-Conflict Divorce Survival Story: The Biggest Lessons Learned

    Going through a high-conflict divorce can make it feel impossible to imagine a life where your phone isn’t constantly lighting up, your nervous system isn’t on high alert, and every day doesn’t bring another crisis. But this episode is proof that there can be an after. Get the Guided Divorce Meditations to help you through these moments when you feel like you are going to lose your sh$t. In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea shares the real-life story of a man who spent nine years navigating a brutal high-conflict divorce involving emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, court battles, documentation, and children caught in the middle. Today, his kids are thriving, he has rebuilt his life, and he is in a healthy new marriage. More importantly, he shared what actually helped him survive. Andrea breaks down the lessons from his story, including why you have to stop trying to make irrational behavior make sense, how to document your divorce without allowing it to consume your life, and why preparing for conflict is often more useful than desperately trying to prevent it. They’re also powerful reminders for parents. Your children are watching how you move through difficult situations—not whether you “win” every argument. The way you regulate yourself, build a support system, set boundaries, and respond to chaos teaches them how to survive hard things, too. And perhaps the biggest lesson: do not wait until your divorce is over to start rebuilding your life. Create new routines. Make new traditions with your kids. Reconnect with people you love. Find something that belongs only to you. Divorce may be a marathon—but even marathons end. For people dealing with an extremely difficult former spouse, traditional co-parenting may not always be realistic. Andrea also discusses parallel parenting, business-like communication, boundaries, and reducing opportunities for conflict when cooperative co-parenting simply isn’t possible. If you are in the stage of divorce where you genuinely cannot picture your life feeling normal again, this episode is for you. You don't have to believe everything will suddenly become perfect. You just have to believe that this part will not last forever. In This Episode, You’ll LearnHow to stop wasting energy trying to understand a high-conflict exWhy you should document everything without living inside the documentationHow to prepare for a high-conflict “avalanche”What your kids learn from watching you navigate divorceWhy therapy and personal growth can matter more than a courtroom victoryHow to start rebuilding your life before your divorce is officially overWhen parallel parenting may work better than traditional co-parentingHow boundaries and structured communication can reduce divorce conflictWhy examining your own patterns can change what happens after divorce ResourcesDivorce Crash Course If you’re overwhelmed by the divorce process and afraid of making expensive mistakes, our Divorce Crash Course was created to help you understand what’s coming and make smarter decisions along the way. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course OurFamilyWizard Andrea also discusses how structured co-parenting communication can help reduce the feeling that you are constantly being bombarded by your ex, particularly in high-conflict situations. We are the only podcast that can save you 20% on Our Family Wizard. www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20 And if this episode helped you, follow How Not to Suck at Divorce so the next episode finds you automatically.

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About

Action steps that save you money. Humor that saves your sanity. Honesty that helps you heal. How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clear answers, smart strategy and support through life before, during and after divorce. Hosted by family-law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill and comedian and marketing expert Andrea Rappaport, we break down the parts of divorce that can feel impossible to navigate — divorce preparation, high-conflict spouses, narcissistic behavior and manipulation, child custody, co-parenting and parallel parenting, money and property, legal strategy, negotiation, divorce anxiety and life after divorce. You’ll hear practical advice from leading divorce attorneys, therapists, financial professionals and other experts, along with honest conversations about what divorce actually feels like. Our goal is simple: help you avoid expensive mistakes, understand your options and make decisions you’ll still feel good about years from now. You don’t have to figure out divorce by yourself. We’ve got you.

Information

  • Creator
    Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    252
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Morgan L. Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport 2021-2026
  • Show Website
    How Not To Suck At Divorce

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