It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else. They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life! Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way? In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid. And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.

  1. When Addiction Meets Custody: Building a Plan That Holds, Part 2

    6D AGO

    When Addiction Meets Custody: Building a Plan That Holds, Part 2

    When addiction and high conflict personality traits both show up in a custody case, the usual advice stops working. Vague parenting plans become weapons. Standard timelines get exploited. Courts aren't designed to manage what's happening daily between two households—and the divorce itself is often just the beginning. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, lay out what actually works: parenting plans built with iron-clad specificity, consequences written into agreements before problems happen, relapse protocols, objective safety safeguards for young children, and the assertive court strategy Bill describes as the most effective approach—not aggressive, not passive, but steady and information-forward. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:56) - Part 2: High Conflict Behavior, Addiction, and Child Custody (02:00) - Parenting Plans (05:58) - When Reluctant to Change (08:27) - Being Prepared (10:05) - Don’t Reward the Pushing (13:59) - Build Consequences into Agreements (18:24) - With Younger Children (22:15) - Professional Involvement (26:33) - Top Mistakes (30:17) - Wrap Up

    32 min
  2. When Addiction and Antisocial Behavior Collide in Custody

    APR 23

    When Addiction and Antisocial Behavior Collide in Custody

    High conflict custody cases are hard enough—but when one parent also demonstrates antisocial personality traits alongside addiction and a pattern of long-term deception, standard parenting plans fall short in ways that can leave a child at real risk. Antisocial personality disorder appears in family court more often than most people realize, and it requires a fundamentally different approach to court orders, parenting plans, and relapse planning. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, walk through how to recognize the pattern, what to actually say to a family court judge, and how to build a relapse plan directly into a custody agreement as a court order. They also cover monitoring options, supervised contact, and why no-contact orders should be extremely rare. This is part one of a two-part conversation. It’s All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:58) - High Conflict Behavior, Addiction, and Child Custody (01:49) - Case Setup (04:00) - Pattern Recognition (08:50) - Traits (10:05) - Feined Connection (11:58) - What to Do (15:04) - Back to the Case (22:08) - Monitoring Services (23:40) - Parenting Plan (27:11) - No Contact Order? (29:43) - Defining More Extreme Personalities (33:16) - Wrap Up

    36 min
  3. Why Your Child Absorbs Your Emotions

    APR 16

    Why Your Child Absorbs Your Emotions

    In high conflict divorce, children don’t just witness a parent’s distress—they absorb it, often without knowing where the feeling is coming from. Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explain the brain science behind emotional contagion, why it can quietly build a child’s resistance to the healthier parent, and what that parent can do about it. From holding the schedule steady under emotional pressure, to teaching the four big skills for life, to naming emotions out loud to reduce their intensity—this episode gives parents practical tools they can use inside their own home starting today. Resources from this episode:BOOKS Don't Alienate the KidsBIFF for CoParent CommunicationCOURSES & CLASSES FOR PARENTS Conflict Influencer™ ClassNew Ways for Families Class + Coaching (for parents)Resistance, Refusal and the Child’s BrainARTICLE 7 Ways Children’s Brains Absorb Their Parent's’ Emotions in Divorce (And What You Can Do About It)TRAINING Professional Organizational Training: info@highconflictinstitute.com Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:51) - Update (04:18) - Children Absorbing Their Parents’ Emotions (10:16) - What’s Happening (15:55) - Dad’s Options (17:41) - Setting Up Emotional Responses (20:21) - Parental Awareness and Roles (29:55) - Wrap Up

    33 min
  4. Passive Aggressive Behavior: Is It High Conflict?

    MAR 19

    Passive Aggressive Behavior: Is It High Conflict?

    Passive aggressive behavior is one of the most common—and most maddening—dynamics in high conflict situations. In this episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter of the High Conflict Institute reframe passive aggression as what it really is: aggression with built-in deniability. They walk through how to recognize it at home and at work, how to set limits on behavior that’s designed to evade accountability, and how the “it’s not about me” mindset gives you the emotional footing to respond effectively. Whether you’re dealing with a co-worker who “forgets” every commitment or a relationship where nothing is ever directly addressed, this episode gives you a practical framework for protecting your peace.Resources from this episode: 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeDating RadarConflict Influencer ClassManaging High-Conflict Behaviour in the Workplace Training (April 23, 2026)Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:07) - Passive Aggressive Behavior (03:59) - Is It High Conflict Behavior? (08:43) - Confronting Them (09:36) - When They Don’t Stop (13:43) - Conflict Avoidance Behavior? (17:17) - A Pre-Cursor to More Overt Conflict? (18:24) - In the Workplace (19:42) - Examples (21:54) - Antisocial Behavior (23:57) - Following Through (26:09) - Staying Confident (27:22) - Wrap Up

    29 min
  5. Conflict Creators: Why Drama Gets Into Our Heads

    MAR 12

    Conflict Creators: Why Drama Gets Into Our Heads

    Why are so many people drawn to media figures who thrive on conflict, drama, and promises of secret revelations? Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter of the High Conflict Institute break down the neuroscience behind it—and it turns out your brain is working exactly as designed. The right hemisphere's drive for connection, belonging, and certainty makes all of us vulnerable to conflict-driven personalities, whether we realize it or not. This episode gives you the framework to understand why you get hooked, and practical tools to reclaim your own judgment. Resources from this episode: 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeManaging High-Conflict Behavior in the Workplace — Training, April 23, 2026Training for Your OrganizationVisit High Conflict InstituteBrowse Books and ResourcesSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube! Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:42) - Catching Up (03:03) - Building Conflict Around Yourselves (06:35) - Our Draw to Conspiracy Theorists (09:58) - Why Does It Feel Credible? (12:23) - Personality Types (15:44) - Convincing and Confident (17:07) - Negative Advocates (21:09) - Reinforcing Patterns (23:05) - What Can We Do (26:23) - Using AI (29:11) - Wrap Up

    31 min
  6. High Conflict Behavior at Work Part 2 with Michael Lomax

    MAR 5

    High Conflict Behavior at Work Part 2 with Michael Lomax

    Michael Lomax joins Megan Hunter to share practical tools leaders can use right away when high conflict behavior is derailing their team. They cover BIFF responses for written communication, how to redirect disruptive meeting participants, handling chronic complainers with EAR statements, and what it actually takes to build a conflict-competent culture. Plus—details on two upcoming trainings from the High Conflict Institute. Resources from this episode: New Ways for Work Coaches Training — March 3 & 5, 2026Leaders Training: Managing High Conflict Behavior at Work — April 23, 2026BIFF at Work by Bill Eddy and Megan HunterMediating High Conflict Disputes by Bill Eddy and Michael LomaxIt's All Your Fault at Work by Bill Eddy and L. Georgi DiStefanoSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | High Conflict Institute Watch this episode on YouTube! Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:54) - Guest Michael Lomax (04:19) - Workplace Tools for Leaders (05:41) - BIFF Responses (15:47) - High Conflict in Meetings (21:02) - Chronic Complaining (23:37) - Example (26:26) - Healthy Conflict (31:56) - The Training (35:28) - Mindset Shift (38:09) - Wrap Up

    40 min
  7. High Conflict Behavior at Work with Michael Lomax

    FEB 26

    High Conflict Behavior at Work with Michael Lomax

    HCI senior trainer Michael Lomax joins Megan Hunter to unpack why high conflict behavior is escalating in today's workplaces—and what leaders can actually do about it. Drawing on twenty-five years in workplace dispute resolution, Michael explains why global stress and unresolved trauma are showing up at work, what happens in a leader's brain when they get emotionally hooked, and how to regulate yourself before you respond. You'll learn the "calm before think" strategy for de-escalating upset employees, how to handle a team-wide crisis triggered by one inflammatory email, and when a single conversation with a difficult senior leader simply isn't enough. Whether you're a leader, in HR, or anyone trying to navigate a workplace that feels harder than it used to—this one's for you. Resources from this episode: New Ways for Work Training for Workplace Coaches — March 3 & 5, 2026Leaders Training: Managing High Conflict Behavior at Work — April 23, 2026BIFF at Work by Bill Eddy and Megan HunterMediating High Conflict Disputes by Bill Eddy and Michael LomaxIt's All Your Fault at Work by Bill Eddy and L. Georgi DiStefanoSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | High Conflict InstituteWatch this episode on YouTube! Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:19) - Michael’s Background (02:35) - High Conflict at Work (08:24) - An Increase (11:33) - How It’s Showing Up (14:11) - Getting Emotionally Hooked (18:32) - What You Can Do and Regulating (23:12) - Shifting into Problem-Solving (29:13) - Email Conflict (35:40) - Options List (37:14) - Wrap Up

    39 min
  8. Setting Boundaries in High Conflict Situations

    FEB 19

    Setting Boundaries in High Conflict Situations

    We answer five listener questions about setting boundaries with intrusive neighbors, hostile co-parents, difficult coworkers, and adult children who demonstrate high conflict behaviors. Learn when to use empathy versus firmness, how to document hostile messages for court, and strategies for protecting your emotional well-being in toxic situations. Resources from this episode: SLIC Solutions for ConflictBIFF for CoParent CommunicationThe Big Book on Borderline Personality DisorderNew Ways for Work® Coaches Training (March 3 & 5, 2026)Conflict Influencer ClassTraining for OrganizationsNational Domestic Violence Information or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTube! Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:47) - Listener Questions (01:22) - Question 1 (09:29) - Question 2 (12:35) - Question 3 (20:42) - Question 4 (23:46) - Question 5 (31:59) - Wrap Up

    34 min
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Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else. They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life! Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way? In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid. And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.

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