Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Cathy Chen
  • 4.6 (12)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You brings you candid conversations with experts in psychology, education, and college admissions — so you can better understand your teen and help them thrive. Hosts Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera have coached thousands of teens and families, and they’re here to make this whole “parenting a teenager” thing a little easier. (Or at least, less bewildering.) Because parenting is hard AF. 

  1. 21h ago

    Unpopular Opinions: Majors and Extracurriculars Matter Less Than You Think

    Cathy and Meredith revive a recurring “unpopular opinions” episode focused on college admissions. They argue families overemphasize two things: having a fixed intended major and building a “perfect” activities résumé. They note many students enter college undeclared and many change majors, and most colleges prefer broadly rigorous high school coursework; major choice mainly matters for impacted or highly competitive programs (e.g., UC engineering, business, nursing, arts/film), where switching later isn’t guaranteed. On extracurriculars, they criticize clickbait rankings and “looks impressive” pay-to-play internships or research, emphasizing that admission officers can see through inauthentic choices. Instead, they encourage authentic interests, normal teen activities, sustained commitment, and demonstrating character and community contribution. 00:00 Podcast Intro 00:50 Host Catch Up 02:00 Unpopular Opinions Return 03:03 Major Pressure Myth 08:49 When Major Choice Matters 14:25 Undecided Is Okay 16:27 Activities Hype Backlash 18:09 Why Rankings Mislead 20:56 Why Families Fixate 21:38 Angular Kid Myth 22:32 Internships Are Fluff 23:56 Real Effort Example 25:46 Normal Teen Wins 28:48 Character Over Resume 30:56 Admissions Eye Rolls 31:52 Clickbait Stress Spiral 33:57 Let Teens Be Teens 35:56 Wrap Up And Song   Link to: Freshman admission by discipline | University of California

  2. 6d ago

    College Transition: How Much Contact Is Normal and When Parents Should Worry

    Hosts Cathy and Meredith discuss what’s developmentally normal when teens transition to college and how parents can support them without fostering overdependence. They contrast healthy check-ins and family closeness with anxious reassurance-seeking, decision-making dependence, and parents monitoring via tools like Life360 or parent Facebook groups. They advise parents to normalize first-semester discomfort, avoid catastrophizing or immediate problem-solving, encourage use of campus resources (RA, counseling/learning centers), set communication boundaries, and resist becoming a substitute for friends. They note special concerns for students with prior serious mental health issues and emphasize preparing supports before college. Warning signs include major, sustained mood/personality changes, not attending class, disruptions in sleep/eating, quitting activities, fatalistic/hopeless language, and problematic partying or self-medicating, underscoring the need for early conversations about stress, substances, and getting help. 00:00 Podcast Intro 00:51 College Move-In Season 02:46 Contact Expectations 04:15 Healthy Check-Ins 06:22 Helicopter Parent Panic 08:32 When College Feels Awful 10:58 How Parents Should Respond 13:07 Don't Be Their Bestie 16:45 Set Boundaries Early 19:49 When To Worry 20:54 Red Flags And Class 24:13 Partying And Substances 25:30 Wrap Up And Support

  3. Oct 2

    College Admissions Are Changing: AI, Testing, Enrollment Cliff & What Parents Need to Know

    Welcome back to Season Six! Cathy and Meredith kick off the new season with a deep dive into the rapidly changing landscape of college admissions. From AI's impact on application essays to the return of standardized testing, the enrollment cliff, direct admissions, and the soaring cost of tuition — they break down the biggest shifts parents need to know about right now. They also discuss why raising resilient, independent adults matters more than ever in an uncertain future, and share practical advice for families navigating this evolving process. Chapters: Season Six Kickoff — 0:57 Admissions Upheaval Overview — 1:27 AI and Essay Changes — 3:38 Testing Returns Debate — 5:27 Enrollment Cliff Reality — 10:02 Direct Admission Explained — 12:58 Cost and Value Crunch — 16:15 Raising College Ready Adults — 20:10 Resilience in Uncertainty — 22:23 Wrap Up and Listener Qs — 23:47

  4. Sep 23

    Season 6 Teaser

    Hosts Cathy and Meredith are back for season six! In this teaser episode, they celebrate 30,000 downloads and over 100 episodes, play around with Zoom makeup filters, and preview what's coming this season — including episodes on ADHD and executive function, financial aid, college admissions updates, and a provocative episode titled "What If You Don't Like Your Kid." They also want to hear from you: what topics should they cover? Plus, Cathy debuts her NACAC walk-in song (Montell Jordan, naturally), and they're headed to see Earth, Wind & Fire in concert. Chapters: 0:51 — Welcome Back to Season 6 1:30 — 30,000 Downloads & 100+ Episodes 2:34 — Zoom Makeup Shenanigans 5:18 — Locking In: Season 6 Preview 5:47 — ADHD & Executive Function 7:33 — College Admissions & Financial Aid 9:37 — Listener Feedback & Wrap 10:49 — Walk-In Songs 11:44 — Montell Jordan: This Is How We Do It 12:11 — Earth, Wind & Fire Concert 12:34 — Thanks & Goodbye

  5. Jun 4

    How to Help Teens Thrive This Summer: Independence, Purpose, and Healthy Boundaries

    In this season finale, Cathy and Meredith wrap up season five by reflecting on what they're looking forward to this summer and sharing their hopes for families navigating the months ahead with teens. Drawing on stories from their own childhoods, they discuss the value of boredom, unstructured time, and opportunities for kids to build independence, creativity, and responsibility. They explore why meaningful work, manual labor, and experiences that broaden a teen's perspective can be so formative during adolescence. The conversation also offers practical ideas for parents, from doing things alongside their children to bringing them into the rhythms and responsibilities of everyday adult life. Cathy and Meredith also stress the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries on screen time and social media and remind parents to make room for rest, reconnection, and the kind of growth that happens when kids are given both purpose and space to thrive. Thanks for tuning in!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:50] The last episode of season five! [0:02:40] What Cathy and Meredith are looking forward to this summer. [0:05:07] Their hope for how summer shapes up for families with kids. [0:06:45] What they used to do when we were bored as kids. [0:09:50] A reminder to do something alongside your children during summer. [0:11:45] Why they are big believers in adolescents doing manual labor and serving a purpose outside of themselves. [0:15:45] The importance for kids to get proximate to difference. [0:17:20] The value of working on independence over summer. [0:18:30] Pressing into unstructured time to boost imagination, creativity, and reset the body. [0:19:00] Let them (the teenagers) rest. [0:20:40] Why parents shouldn’t relax restrictions around screen time and social media. [0:23:55] Bringing your kids to work with you. [0:25:00] Final thoughts from Cathy and Meredith on summer and season five. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Brian Stevenson Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

  6. May 27

    Teen Mental Health, AI, and College Admissions: Trends Parents Should Watch

    What changed for teenagers this year, and what should parents be paying closer attention to? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith take a look at the trends they have been noticing across teens, schools, technology, and college admissions. Cathy and Meredith discuss how AI is affecting the way students learn, where students still need support, and why parents need to educate themselves on AI. They unpack the effects of social media and screen time on attention, critical thinking, and maturity, while also highlighting the entrepreneurial spirit and confidence they see in many teens today. They also delve into the uncertain future of liberal arts education, growing concerns about career preparedness, the cost of college, and the ways changing admissions practices are creating new stress for students and families. To find out what today’s teens are navigating and how parents can better understand the pressures impacting their teens, tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Why Cathy and Meredith are talking about the biggest teen trends of the year. [0:02:12] Learn how teens are using AI as a unique and effective study tool. [0:03:12] Discover the risks of giving teens access to AI without boundaries. [0:06:20] Find out how handwriting, note-taking, and study skills are changing. [0:08:36] Examine why today’s teens may have a lower ability for critical thinking. [0:10:09] Understand how social media is reshaping attention, reading, and free time. [0:12:19] Unpack the confidence and entrepreneurial energy many teens display. [0:13:17] Explore why liberal arts education is facing an uncertain future. [0:15:25] Hear why students are more focused on jobs, money, and practical majors. [0:18:30] Overview of the admissions issues affecting deadlines and waitlists. [0:20:00] What the future looks like for colleges and admission processes.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Dr. Devorah Heitner Growing Up in Public The New York Times Episode 142: The Kids Are Alright: Good News About Today's Teens Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

  7. May 13

    The Kids Are Alright: Good News About Today's Teens

    Are today’s teenagers really as disconnected, anxious, and screen-addicted as the headlines make them seem? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith take a more hopeful look at what is going well with this generation and why the kids really are alright. They discuss declining rates of risky behavior, the ways young people are becoming more open about mental health, and how today’s teens are often more comfortable talking about identity, inclusion, and social responsibility. They also explore how teenagers today are often more connected to their parents, more willing to have real conversations, and more interested in making a difference than simply chasing money or status. Tune in for an encouraging conversation about why parents, educators, and anyone working with teenagers should pause to notice what is working, and remember that there is still plenty of hope for the future. Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:25] The motivation behind today’s topic: what is going well with teens today. [0:03:03] How risky behaviors like drinking, drug use, sex, and teen pregnancy have declined. [0:06:01] Hear how teens are more open about mental health and learning differences. [0:06:43] Find out how teens are more aware of identity and inclusion. [0:08:13] Understand how young people see justice, equity, and accessibility. [0:09:24] Discover why teens see fewer barriers to investing and business. [0:10:34] Explore how the internet has helped teens find and create opportunities. [0:11:05] Learn why community engagement is common for many teens. [0:12:34] Unpack why teens today are closer to their parents. [0:14:58] Simple actions for parents to highlight their teen’s positive behaviour. [0:16:20] Uncover how college pressure can make parents overlook what is going well. [0:17:36] Why Cathy and Meredith feel hopeful about today’s teenagers. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

  8. May 6

    Behind the Scenes of the Summer College Essay Intensive

    One of the biggest parts of the college application process is the personal statement, and it has the potential to cause the most amount of stress for students! Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are giving you a behind-the-scenes look into our Summer College Essay Intensive. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why the stakes are high for this assignment, why we have decided to do a workshop to support students with their essays, what the workshop entails, and so much more! We delve into why we get students to look at case studies before breaking down the different ways Meredith and Cathy approach college essays and how they make such a great team. We even touch on the importance of making this essay personal and how we help the students make it unique. Finally, we explain why we make our students revise their essays multiple times until they’re strong personal statements that will help them get into college. To hear all this and find out how to join the workshop, be sure to press play now!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:22] Today’s topic: Insight into the Summer College Essay Intensive. [0:03:40] Why we do a workshop for kids to help them with essay writing. [0:06:59] Breaking down the structure of this workshop from days one to four. [0:10:34] How we help the students come up with a topic and why it’s difficult. [0:16:00] Why Meredith and Cathy are the ‘Yin and Yang’ of college essay writing. [0:18:50] The importance of making this statement deeply personal. [0:23:36] Why the strength in essays comes out through repetition. [0:28:23] How to enroll your kids in the workshop.  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Summer College Essay Intensive Email us: hello@wespeakteen.com  Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

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4.6
out of 5
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About

Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You brings you candid conversations with experts in psychology, education, and college admissions — so you can better understand your teen and help them thrive. Hosts Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera have coached thousands of teens and families, and they’re here to make this whole “parenting a teenager” thing a little easier. (Or at least, less bewildering.) Because parenting is hard AF. 

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