WTF is on my Mind?!

Mark Vicente

Author, Speaker, Whistleblower and award-winning Director Mark Vicente was behind the sleeper hit “What The Bleep Do We Know?!” Several books have been written about the film’s remarkable grassroots marketing campaign, which led to its unprecedented success.Mark was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1965. Taking his first photograph at age four, he quickly discovered his passion for being behind the camera. After attending film and drama school in South Africa, he began working his way up the ranks of the camera department, from Assistant to Operator to Cinematographer. His first big break came as Director of Photography on the musical “SARAFINA,” starring Whoopi Goldberg. In 1992, he set his sights on Hollywood and relocated to Los Angeles to shoot his first studio picture for Disney;  “FATHERHOOD,” starring Patrick Swayze and Halle Berry. At the age of 26, he became one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a big-budget studio picture. Over the next few decades, he went on to shoot an additional 14 feature films and numerous documentaries, music videos and commercials. Mark soon found there were in him, untold stories he desperately wanted to express as a Director. He was driven by the conviction that tales of greatness, nobility and introspection could be exciting and financially successful. Perhaps because of the very obvious race and class iniquities in South Africa, he found himself propelled to question certain fundamental assumptions at a very young age. Beliefs about human behavior, cosmology, religion, existentialism and mysticism. Along the way, he stumbled into a few situations where leaders with malignant pathologies (masquerading as saintly philosophers) spoke the talk of self-improvement but did untold damage to their followers... and him. Looking back, he can now say he has been in at least two cults. His last foray into personal growth and his defection from NXIVM was chronicled in the HBO series “The Vow”. Mark and a few plucky whistleblowers exposed the criminal activities of the organization, resulting in multiple arrests and indictments. He doesn’t consider himself a cult expert, but by his own admission, “I’m an expert in being screwed over, waking up, and knowing how to spot them.” He’s got a pretty salty approach to most things and is fascinated by the myriad patterns in the human psychodynamic that create the best and the worst in civilization. Join Mark as he unpacks a whole range of topics to do with: Psychology, Consciousness, Morality, Narcissistic Abuse, Spirituality, Cults, Propaganda, Science, Filmmaking, and Philosophy.You never quite know what you’re going to get, as it really does depend on… WTF is on his mind?!

  1. 3d ago ·  Video

    Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 13 - The Insane Text Messages Part 4

    Inst@Guru is an investigative series examining Bentinho Massaro, a Dutch-born spiritual influencer, and the high-control dynamics inside his organization. It's built around the accounts of three former members who spent years close to him: Jacqueline Graham, Keilan McNeil, and Jade Alectra. Each brings their own texts, memories, and evidence to build a full picture of what actually happened, and why it's so hard to see from the inside while you're living it. This is part four of the text message series. Jacqueline, Keilan, and Jade go through their private conversations with Cory, Bentinho's right hand, and with Bentinho himself, in the aftermath of leaving his organization. Jacqueline shares her full exit conversation with Cory, the one where every doubt she raises gets reframed as a "visit" from a negative entity. Jade walks through what happened during an isolated retreat with Bentinho, Cory, and Paola, and what she describes as being groomed into treating consent as something to overcome. You'll hear what happened to Paola in the years that followed. Keilan shows the "plug the holes" damage control that kicked in within thirty minutes of a single online post, along with a threatening text from Bentinho to a former employee, and an older group chat that shows Cory's devotion to him years before any of this. I'm Mark Vicente. I spent twelve years inside NXIVM, the group HBO covered in The Vow. This series exists because Jacqueline, Keilan, and Jade wanted people to see how this actually works from the inside, not just hear that it happened. This is episode 13. If you haven't watched episodes 1 through 12, start there, this one builds directly on everything before it. I also just released Narcissist's Playbook, a documentary highly relevant to this series. https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io/ Support the show The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  2. Aug 9 ·  Video

    They Believe Their Own Lies: A Neuroscientist Explains Narcissism w/ Dr. Heather Berlin

    I've been sitting with a theory for a while now: that dissociation isn't just what happens to survivors; it might be the actual cornerstone of narcissism itself. Not just what a narcissist does to the people around them, but something disconnected inside of them too, from their own shame, their own actions, maybe their own humanity. Watch Narcissist's Playbook: https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io Join the Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Dr. Heather Berlin: https://www.heatherberlin.com Dr. Heather Berlin was one of the experts featured in Narcissist's Playbook, and she joined us for our launch weekend, July 24th to 26th, for a live Q&A that left me with a lot of unfinished thoughts I couldn't stop turning over. So I brought her back to dig in a little deeper. We get into what dissociation actually is, why some narcissists can pass a polygraph while telling a bold lie because they've come to genuinely believe it, and why some seem to see other people less as people and more as objects, tools, even less than that. We also talk about the difference between refusing to look inward and being unable to, whether some of this is decided early in life or wired in from birth, and why the people who seek power the most are so often the ones who should have it the least. Dr. Heather Berlin is a neuroscientist and clinical psychologist, and Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. Her research explores the neural basis of trauma and dissociation, with a particular focus on the insula, the brain region tied to body awareness, and on depersonalization, the clinical term for the numbness and disconnection so many survivors describe. She's also a well-known science communicator, hosting PBS NOVA's Your Brain and appearing regularly on StarTalk with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Her new book, The Fine Art of Losing Control, is available for pre-order now. Support the show The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  3. Aug 2 ·  Video

    Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Dr. Ramani on Self-Blame, Grief, and Trauma Bonding

    Narcissist's Playbook is out now and available to rent at https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io/ From July 24th to 26th, we held our Narcissist's Playbook launch weekend, and Dr. Ramani Durvasula was one of our featured speakers. I got to sit down with her for this conversation, and this time we didn't talk about the narcissists. We talked about the survivors and the road back to themselves. PLEASE NOTE THE EMAIL MENTIONED IS NOT AVAILABLE NOW. THAT WAS ONLY FOR THE LIVE WEEKEND. We get into the fog, that disorienting space where you finally start to see the pattern but don't trust your own memory anymore. Dr. Ramani explains why time itself feels lost in these relationships, and why self blame shows up first, before anger, as a survival mechanism rather than a personal flaw. We talk about the fantasy people hold onto and the fear underneath it, and about grief, not just for the relationship, but for the person you were before it. Then we open it up to audience questions, covering narcissists at work, grieving a narcissistic parent, custody battles, trauma bonding, and how to leave when someone threatens to hurt themselves if you do. Narcissist's Playbook is out now and available to rent at https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io/ Support the show The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  4. Jul 12 ·  Video

    "My Jaw Was on the Floor": Dr. Jamie Zuckerman on the Narcissist's Playbook Film

    Dr. Jamie Zuckerman and I sat down to talk about our film, Narcissist's Playbook. https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ Dr. Zuckerman is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in narcissistic abuse, and she's seen the film. In this conversation, we get into why my team and I spent five years making it, my own experience in NXIVM, and how it shaped this project, and why we brought self-aware narcissists into the film alongside survivors and clinicians. Dr. Zuckerman brings the clinical side of it too: why narcissistic patterns are so predictable across every kind of relationship, and why that predictability is actually what makes healing possible. We also get into the resistance this film has faced getting out into the world, why we chose to go independent and survivor-funded instead of through Hollywood, and what's ahead for the release. Narcissist's Playbook Release Schedule: July 17 | Early Donor Access July 24-26 | Official Launch Weekend July 29 | General Rental Release Learn more or donate at www.narcissistsplaybook.com Support the show The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  5. Jun 28 ·  Video

    Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 12 - The Toxic Text Messages Part 3

    This is episode 12 of Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro, an ongoing deep dive investigation into the world of Dutch spiritual influencer Bentinho Massaro and the people inside it. Gaby Petris Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@UCvHpiQAiTKxoodufKO5_Viw The text messages continue. This episode is mostly Jade Alectra’s, and what you're going to see is her mind and her instincts getting dismantled in real time. The sequence involving pillows alone is a masterclass in how intermittent reinforcement works. She's given a task, she does it, the instruction changes, she corrects, he criticizes the correction, then pivots to accusing her of performing. There is no way to win. By design. But we start before that, with a group chat Jade wasn't even in. Before she's properly settled, Bentinho is already coaching the inner circle on how to perceive her, manage their doubts about his interest in her, and frame what he's doing as spiritual work. One of the reasons he wanted her there? Her connection to someone with tens of millions of social media followers. She didn't find out this chat existed until months after she left. Then there's the line. In his own words, to his inner circle: "I may f*ck one into freedom and patiently ignore the other into freedom for years." Not interpretation. Not out of context. A spiritual teacher describing his methodology. There's also a moment where Jade reveals he never disclosed he had herpes, and the group discusses how the inner circle was essentially mobilized to keep him calm enough that a cold sore wouldn't erupt on camera. Keilan points out the obvious: if Bentinho is a fifth-density being who can alter his body with his thoughts, why does he need everyone around him managing his stress levels? We also get into the question of Cory, how deeply enmeshed she is, what it would take for her to get out, and whether that's even possible without him being removed from the picture entirely. This is still just a fraction of what exists. More is coming. The invitation to Bentinho, to Cory, to Kars, to anyone in leadership who wants to make the case publicly and on the record, remains open. Inst@Guru is part of the podcast WTF Is On My Mind, available on YouTube and all podcast platforms. Support the show The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  6. Jun 21 ·  Video

    Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 11 - Silvana

    Silvana was working at Gaia, deep in a healing process, surrounded by a spiritual community, when she was introduced to Bentinho Massaro through what looked like an ordinary birthday dinner. Within days, there was a yoga class, tacos, a hot tub, truth or dare, and a text message she describes as the most manipulative thing she has ever read in her life. She didn't fall for it. But in this episode, she explains exactly how close she came, and why. Silvana's story is different from the ones you've heard so far in this series. She's not a survivor of what Bentinho did to Jacqueline, or Jade, or Keilan. She saw it coming, named it, and walked out. What she has to say about how it works, and who it targets, and what actually protects people, is one of the most clear-eyed accounts we've heard in this entire investigation. Also in this episode: Bentinho's infamous "spiritual" text message, read aloud and taken apart line by line. An NDA requested the morning after a party. And Silvana's final thoughts on rage, responsibility, and why women in spiritual spaces deserve so much better than what they're being sold. This is part of the ongoing Inst@Guru investigation into Bentinho Massaro, a Dutch spiritual influencer covered by Rolling Stone, The Guardian, Vice, and De Volkskrant. Bentinho Massaro: you are welcome to sit down with me any time. The invitation remains open. Support the show The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  7. Jun 14

    Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 10 - The Toxic Text Messages Part 2

    This is episode 10 of Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro, an ongoing deep dive investigation into the world of Dutch spiritual influencer Bentinho Massaro and the people inside it. The damning text messages continue. This episode is Keilan McNeil's. He reads through two text threads that show a side of Bentinho Massaro that his followers rarely, if ever, see. The first is a group chat in which Bentinho systematically dismantles his then-girlfriend Alison in front of the inner circle, including telling her to "go f**k yourself" while simultaneously complaining that her "negative energy" is ruining his dinner plans with a Playboy journalist. The second is the day Keilan and Jade leave the compound in Mexico. What starts as a loving farewell message turns, within minutes, into Keilan being called a p***y, a demon, and a liability in front of the entire group. His crime: asking about a drone he was owed as payment for months of unpaid work. What you're going to see is the same playbook Jacqueline described in episode 9. The warmth, then the detonation, then the softening, then the demand for total submission. Over and over. Different person, same architecture. You'll also see Cory's role up close. She isn't just a bystander. She's an enforcer, and she believes every word of it. And if you're in the inner circle watching this, thinking you've never seen anything like it, you may not have. Because even the inner circle was compartmentalized. That's not a coincidence. That's the design. The invitation to Bentinho, to Cory, to Kars, to anyone in leadership who wants to make the case with me publicly and on the record, remains open. Inst@Guru is part of the podcast WTF Is On My Mind, available on YouTube and all podcast platforms. Support the show The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

  8. Jun 7

    Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 9 - The Text Messages Part 1

    For the next few episodes, our three defectors, Jacqueline Graham, Keilan McNeil, and Jade Alectra, are going to read out their private text messages with Bentinho and the group. What you're going to see is the side of him that his community never sees, the version that exists behind closed doors. This episode belongs mostly to Jacqueline. She reads through a cascade of messages sent to her at an airport, after she told him one simple thing: that she was afraid of him. What follows is a prolonged, methodical dismantling. He questions her honesty, assigns her evil, recruits the inner circle as witnesses, demands public confession of her darkest thoughts, and positions himself as the one having a heart attack. Before we get into it, I address something that comes up constantly in the comments. People ask, "These are such huge red flags, why didn't she see them?" This is a question I keep on answering in different ways, and apparently I will keep on doing it until the day I die. I try a different metaphor in this one. We also check in with all three defectors on what it's been like since the series started. The volume of people reaching out, the toll it's taking, and what keeps them going. This is a tiny fraction of what exists. More will surface in the TV series. But what's here is more than enough to show you the pattern. Next episode is Keilan. Then Jade. Inst@Guru is part of the podcast WTF Is On My Mind, available on YouTube and all podcast platforms. Support the show The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente Website: www.markvicente.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/ X: https://x.com/markvicente TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

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About

Author, Speaker, Whistleblower and award-winning Director Mark Vicente was behind the sleeper hit “What The Bleep Do We Know?!” Several books have been written about the film’s remarkable grassroots marketing campaign, which led to its unprecedented success.Mark was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1965. Taking his first photograph at age four, he quickly discovered his passion for being behind the camera. After attending film and drama school in South Africa, he began working his way up the ranks of the camera department, from Assistant to Operator to Cinematographer. His first big break came as Director of Photography on the musical “SARAFINA,” starring Whoopi Goldberg. In 1992, he set his sights on Hollywood and relocated to Los Angeles to shoot his first studio picture for Disney;  “FATHERHOOD,” starring Patrick Swayze and Halle Berry. At the age of 26, he became one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a big-budget studio picture. Over the next few decades, he went on to shoot an additional 14 feature films and numerous documentaries, music videos and commercials. Mark soon found there were in him, untold stories he desperately wanted to express as a Director. He was driven by the conviction that tales of greatness, nobility and introspection could be exciting and financially successful. Perhaps because of the very obvious race and class iniquities in South Africa, he found himself propelled to question certain fundamental assumptions at a very young age. Beliefs about human behavior, cosmology, religion, existentialism and mysticism. Along the way, he stumbled into a few situations where leaders with malignant pathologies (masquerading as saintly philosophers) spoke the talk of self-improvement but did untold damage to their followers... and him. Looking back, he can now say he has been in at least two cults. His last foray into personal growth and his defection from NXIVM was chronicled in the HBO series “The Vow”. Mark and a few plucky whistleblowers exposed the criminal activities of the organization, resulting in multiple arrests and indictments. He doesn’t consider himself a cult expert, but by his own admission, “I’m an expert in being screwed over, waking up, and knowing how to spot them.” He’s got a pretty salty approach to most things and is fascinated by the myriad patterns in the human psychodynamic that create the best and the worst in civilization. Join Mark as he unpacks a whole range of topics to do with: Psychology, Consciousness, Morality, Narcissistic Abuse, Spirituality, Cults, Propaganda, Science, Filmmaking, and Philosophy.You never quite know what you’re going to get, as it really does depend on… WTF is on his mind?!