Fly To Freedom: The anorexia recovery podcast

Julia Trehane
  • 4.7 (11)
  • Mental Health

Welcome to Fly to Freedom, the podcast dedicated to uncovering the truth about anorexia recovery. Having lived with anorexia for 40 years, I know firsthand the struggles, fears, and misconceptions that come with it. If you'd like to know my story, the best place to start is episode 126. This podcast isn’t just about my story—it’s about understanding the illness, challenging harmful beliefs, and finding real, lasting freedom. With expert guests and deep conversations, we explore the psychology of anorexia, the roadblocks to recovery, and the hope that healing is possible.

  1. May 26

    2026-13 - You Don’t Have to Push Yourself Anymore: Reclaiming Exercise After an Eating Disorder

    In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by Charlie for a really honest and important conversation about healing our relationship with exercise, stepping away from diet culture, and learning how to reconnect with ourselves in midlife and eating disorder recovery. Charlie is a body positive fitness coach and menopause specialist, and from the moment I met her at my gym, I knew there was something very different about her approach to movement and wellbeing. One sentence she said to me completely stopped me in my tracks: “You don’t need to push yourself to your limits anymore. You are allowed to take the easier option.” It sounds simple, but honestly, I nearly cried hearing it. After years of compulsive exercise and believing movement had to involve punishment, exhaustion, or “earning” food, it completely changed how I viewed exercise and what a healthy relationship with movement could actually look like. Together, Charlie and I talk about: Reclaiming exercise after an eating disorderCompulsive movement and exercise addictionWhy movement should feel empowering, not punishingHealing body image and self-worthThe pressure women face to constantly performDiet culture and “good girl” conditioningMidlife identity shifts and rediscovering yourselfPerimenopause, hormones and emotional wellbeingWhy self-care and nourishment matter so muchLearning to listen to your body instead of fighting itBoundaries around comments about weight and appearanceFinding joy, playfulness and freedom againWe also talk openly about the reality of midlife as women — the exhaustion, the pressure to hold everything together, and the liberating moment where you realise you are allowed to stop performing and finally become yourself. This conversation felt deeply personal to me because so much of my eating disorder recovery involved rebuilding my relationship with movement and learning that exercise does not have to come from self-hatred. It can come from joy.It can come from empowerment.It can come from care. And honestly, that changes everything. About Charlie Charlie is a Menopause Coaching Specialist with 12 years in the fitness and wellbeing industry. Qualified in Personal Training, Life Coaching and NLP, she brings a wealth of knowledge on midlife women and a strong understanding of not just the physical but also the emotional and mental challenges of peri/menopause. You can find Charlie and learn more here: Menopause Better App –––––––––––––––––––– The ED Recovery Companion App I’m also incredibly excited to share the ED Recovery Companion app with you. We created this app to support you in the moments recovery feels hardest — not just when you’re listening to a podcast or in a therapy session, but in real life, while you’re actually living recovery. Inside the app you’ll find: Meal supportJournaling toolsRecovery guidanceCoping supportAn AI version of me you can talk to throughout your day using the same approach I use in my coachingIt’s designed to help you feel supported, understood and gently guided back towards recovery when things feel difficult. The app is completely free to download and I would absolutely love to welcome you inside. Download the app here: ED Recovery Companion App –––––––––––––––––––– If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to welcome you inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, where you’ll find support, understanding, recovery tools, courses, workshops and a community of people who truly understand what eating disorder recovery is like. You can learn more here: The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle You are never alone in this.

    1h 4m

  2. May 12

    Eating Disorder Recovery Q&A: Body Image, Exercise Addiction, Night Hunger, Shame, and Control

    Eating Disorder Recovery Q&A: Body Image, Exercise Addiction, Night Hunger, Shame, and Control In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m answering real, unfiltered questions from people navigating eating disorder recovery. These aren’t polished situations or neatly packaged problems. They are the honest, often overwhelming experiences that come up when you are in the middle of recovery—when thoughts feel loud, your body feels unfamiliar, and control still feels necessary. In this episode, I talk through what it actually looks like to keep moving forward when things feel chaotic, and why recovery doesn’t require you to feel ready, calm, or certain before you take action. If you’ve ever felt stuck between wanting recovery and feeling pulled back by fear, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. How to respond when thoughts like “I don’t deserve” and “there’s something wrong with me” feel overwhelmingWhy eating disorder thoughts can intensify during recovery—and what to do when they doHow I approached compulsive exercise and why stepping away from it mattersWhat’s really happening when body image feels unbearable, even looking at your own faceWhy restriction can start showing up in other areas of life beyond foodUnderstanding night hunger in anorexia recovery and why it often continuesHow to navigate shame around taking time off work for an eating disorderWhy the need for control increases when you feel uncertain—and how to begin responding differentlyHow being undernourished affects your ability to process therapy and hold onto insightsHow to approach food choices when everything feels confusing and overwhelmingRecovery is not about waiting for the thoughts to quieten or the fear to disappear. It’s about learning to take the next step while the thoughts are still there.It’s about choosing nourishment, rest, and support even when your mind is telling you not to. That is how change happens. If you’re listening to this and recognising your own thoughts, your own patterns, your own struggles—you are not alone in this. So much of what feels deeply personal in an eating disorder is actually shared. And when those thoughts are spoken out loud, something begins to shift. If you’re finding that the hardest moments are the ones in between—when thoughts feel loud, decisions feel overwhelming, or you’re not sure what to do next—there is now a way to support yourself in those exact moments. Support When You Need It Most – The Recovery Companion App Recovery doesn’t happen in neat, controlled environments. It happens in real life. It happens when you wake up and your thoughts begin to form.It happens before a meal, when everything in you wants to avoid it.It happens after eating, when your head gets loud and the pull to go backwards kicks in.It happens in those moments where you feel unsure or stuck. And that’s where the Recovery Companion comes in. This is a free app designed to support you in the moments that matter most, not just when you’re listening, but when you’re actually living your recovery. Inside the app, you’ll find: A Morning Journal to start your day with intentionSupport Now, giving you in-the-moment guidanceMeal Support to walk alongside you before, during, and after eatingAn Evening Reflection to help you process your dayRunning quietly in the background is something powerful: A clear view of where your actions are pointing. You’ll see the balance between Recovery Actions and Eating Disorder Actions, based on what you actually do, not how loud your thoughts feel. Because recovery isn’t about waiting for the thoughts to disappear. It’s about gently shifting your actions, again and again. The Recovery Companion is currently free to download, and it’s there to support you through the everyday work of recovery. 👉 Explore the app here:https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/app-landing

    58 min

  3. Apr 27

    155 - Successful on the Outside, Struggling Within. How Dr Laura Found the Life Waiting Beyond the Eating Disorder

    In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I’m joined by Laura—one of my former clients and a member of The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle. She’s also a doctor working in emergency medicine, and her story highlights something I see time and time again: Eating disorders do not discriminate. You can be intelligent, successful, capable, and still feel completely trapped in the patterns of an eating disorder. From the outside, Laura’s life looked like it was working. She had a career, she was showing up, she was getting on with things. But inside, it was a completely different story—constant mental noise, exhaustion, and the relentless feeling of not being good enough. If you’ve ever thought, “I’m still managing my life, so maybe it’s not that bad,” this episode will speak to you. We talk openly about what was really going on beneath the surface, why focusing on food alone isn’t enough for full eating disorder recovery, and what actually needs to shift for real freedom to happen. Laura shares her experience of going through traditional treatment, weight restoration, and still feeling lost—and how everything changed when she began doing the deeper inner work. This conversation is honest, grounded, and full of hope. In this episode, I talk about: Why eating disorders can affect anyone, regardless of how life looks on the outsideThe common myths about anorexia and eating disorder recoveryWhy eating is not the full solution to recoveryHow perfectionism, people pleasing, and self-worth are often at the rootWhat happens when treatment focuses on weight but misses the deeper workWhy body changes feel so difficult—and how acceptance grows over timeThe role of self-compassion and inner work in lasting recoveryWhat actually helped Laura move forward when she felt stuckWhy full recovery from an eating disorder is possibleAs a specialist anorexia recovery coach within the eating disorder recovery space, this episode reflects something I feel very strongly about: Recovery is not just about changing behaviours—it’s about changing your relationship with yourself. Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle:If you’re ready to stop doing this on your own and want support from people who truly understand eating disorder recovery, you are very welcome inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle:https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join Inside, you’ll find real support, coaching, and a community who understand both the behaviours and the deeper emotional work that recovery asks of you. If this episode of Fly To Freedom resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear that full recovery is possible.

    1h 8m

  4. Apr 13

    Why Recovery Still Feels Hard: A Compassionate Q&A on Fear, Hunger, Control and Hope

    What This Episode Covers In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m answering real questions from members inside the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle. These are the questions people are living with right now in eating disorder recovery — the ones that don’t always get said out loud, but are felt deeply by so many. We talk about guilt after eating, fear of weight gain, extreme hunger, habits that feel impossible to break, and the question so many people carry quietly: Is full recovery actually possible? If you’ve ever felt stuck between wanting recovery and fearing what it means…If your thoughts feel repetitive, exhausting, or confusing…If part of you longs for freedom but another part still clings to control… This episode is for you. One of the most powerful things about these Q&A episodes is the reminder that you are not alone in what you’re experiencing. The thoughts. The doubts.The fear.The moments of progress followed by wobbles. These are not signs that recovery isn’t working. They are part of the process of healing from an eating disorder. And when one person asks a question, there are so many others quietly thinking: “That’s exactly how I feel.” In this episode, I walk through some of the most common and challenging experiences in eating disorder recovery, including: Why guilt and discomfort can hit after a “good” weekend of eating and how to keep moving forwardThe fear that letting go of control will lead to uncontrollable weight gainHow emotional stress and family dynamics can trigger eating disorder behavioursWhy previously “safe” foods can suddenly become frighteningHow to navigate extreme hunger without feeling overwhelmedBreaking the habit of weighing yourself every dayMoving beyond long-term quasi-recovery into full recoveryManaging constipation in recovery without slipping into old patternsWhether full recovery from an eating disorder is truly possibleYou don’t need to feel calm, confident, or certain to keep moving forward.Recovery is built in the moments where you choose to act in alignment with healing, even when it feels uncomfortable. Thoughts can feel true simply because they’ve been repeated for years.Recovery begins when you gently question those patterns, rather than automatically believing them. Whether it’s extreme hunger, weight changes, or digestive issues — your body is responding, repairing, and trying to find balance. The belief that control is protecting you is incredibly common.In reality, it often keeps the body and mind stuck in a state of threat. Not managing. Not coping. Not constantly watching yourself. Full freedom. You don’t have to have everything figured out. You don’t have to feel 100% ready. You don’t have to silence every thought before you move forward. You just need to keep taking the next step. If you’re listening to this and thinking,“I wish I had somewhere to ask my own questions…” That’s exactly why I created the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle. Inside, you’ll find: Live Q&A sessions like thisGroup coaching and supportThe Feelings Navigator (to help you understand and move through emotions like guilt, fear, and overwhelm)Courses and workshops on every stage of recoveryA community of people who truly understand what recovery feels likeThis is a space where you don’t have to do this alone. You can explore everything here:https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join Recovery can feel messy, confusing, and uncertain at times. And it can also lead to something far greater than you might currently believe is possible. Keep going.Keep choosing yourself.Keep taking the next step. Freedom is possible.

    56 min

  5. Mar 31

    Recovery Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All: Navigating Eating Disorders in Complex Bodies – With Rachael Stern

    What happens when recovery advice sounds beautiful… but doesn’t actually work for your body? In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I’m joined by Rachael Stern — a clinician with both professional expertise and lived experience of an eating disorder — to explore something that so many people quietly struggle with: Recovery is not the same for every body. Sometimes the body doesn’t feel neutral.Sometimes there is chronic pain, diabetes, food intolerances, gut issues, hormonal shifts, migraines, or autoimmune conditions. And when that’s the case, phrases like “just trust your body” or “let go of control” can feel confusing… and even unsafe. Together, we talk about what eating disorder recovery really looks like when your body has genuine physical needs — and how to navigate recovery in a way that is compassionate, realistic, and deeply personal. This is a conversation for anyone who has ever felt like they are failing recovery because their body doesn’t fit the expected model. Why “just trust your body” can feel unsafe in eating disorder recoveryThe overlap between eating disorders, chronic illness, neurodivergence, and traumaHow food intolerances, autoimmune conditions, and medical needs can shape recoveryThe difference between self-care and eating disorder behaviours when food choices are limited Why intuitive eating doesn’t work for everyone — and what recovery can look like insteadThe grief involved when your body has limitationsWhy eating disorders can feel like they “work” — and how to move beyond thatHow to approach recovery when you don’t fully want it yetWhat it means to build trust with your body, even when it feels unpredictable Your body having real needs does not mean you are doing recovery wrong. Recovery is not a single path.It is not a checklist.And it does not need to look like anyone else’s. You are allowed to find a way of recovering that works for your body. Rachael Stern is a clinician in private practice with both lived and professional experience of eating disorders. Her work focuses on the intersection of eating disorder recovery with chronic illness, chronic pain, neurodivergence, and medical complexity. She brings a deeply compassionate and realistic perspective to recovery — one that honours the grey areas, the nuance, and the individuality of each person’s experience. 🌐 Website: www.breaktheframetherapy.com📧 Email: info@breaktheframetherapy.com📱 Phone: 310-383-1090📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breaktheframetherapy If this episode resonated with you, I want you to take this with you: Recovery is still possible, even in a complex body. It may look different.It may feel different.But it is still available to you. And you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, you’ll find support, tools, and understanding from people who truly get what this process feels like — especially in the messy, in-between moments. You are very welcome inside:https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join If this conversation spoke to you, there are many more episodes of Fly To Freedom exploring eating disorder recovery, healing, and finding your way back to yourself.

    1h 3m

  6. Mar 17

    Why You Feel Like You're Doing Recovery Wrong

    This Is Why Recovery Feels So Hard Recovery can feel exhausting. You’re eating more. You’re trying. You’re pushing through fear. And still your heart races at the table. Still your body feels flooded. Still your mind questions whether you’re doing it “right”. In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I talk openly about why eating disorder recovery and anorexia recovery can feel overwhelming — even when you are deeply committed. Because recovery is not just behavioural change. It is nervous system change. When my body had lived in chronic stress and restriction for years, it adapted. Control felt stabilising. Smaller felt safer. Needing less felt predictable. Those patterns wired themselves in beneath conscious thought. So when I began to nourish consistently… When I allowed rest… When I loosened control… My system reacted. The panic. The adrenaline. The wired exhaustion. It felt like I was under attack. I now understand that what I was experiencing was recalibration. In this episode, I explore: • What early recovery actually felt like in my body • Why hunger cues can disappear in anorexia recovery • How survival chemistry fuels anxiety and racing thoughts • Why comparison keeps the nervous system braced • The difference between forcing recovery and creating safety • What truly shifts when healing becomes relational rather than performative Recovery can look steady on the outside and still feel chaotic internally. The turning point for me came when I stopped measuring myself and started asking a different question: Am I building safety? That question changed everything. For me, eating disorder recovery became less about conquering fear and more about staying with myself. Each time I ate consistently, even when hunger felt unclear, I was teaching my body that nourishment was safe. Each time I rested, even when it felt undeserved, I was teaching my nervous system that stillness would not undo me. Each time fear rose and I stayed present, I was building capacity. Anorexia recovery is physical, yes. It is also neurological. It is relational. It is a return to safety in your own body. That return happens through repetition. Through steadiness. Through compassion that is strong enough to hold discomfort. There were moments in my recovery where fear was louder than motivation. That is why your WHY matters. When you are clear on why you want recovery more than the eating disorder, you move differently. Your actions become intentional rather than reactive. If you want help clarifying that anchor for yourself, I created a free worksheet to guide you through it: 👉 Find Your WHY https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/find-your-why Clarity strengthens commitment. And commitment builds sustainable eating disorder recovery. I created The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle as a structured, grounded space for full recovery — rooted in nervous system safety rather than comparison or performance. Inside, I support eating disorder recovery and anorexia recovery through: • Structured recovery courses, including Fear of Weight Gain • The Feelings Navigator for emotional regulation • Expert workshops from people with lived experience • Dedicated community spaces • Ongoing support between therapy sessions It exists to complement clinical care and provide consistent, recovery-focused support in the in-between moments. You can explore The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle here: 👉 https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join For daily insights into eating disorder recovery, anorexia recovery, nervous system healing, and identity work, you can connect with me on Instagram: 👉 https://www.instagram.com/juliatrehane What I Share in This EpisodeRecovery Is a Return to SelfFind Your WHY: The Anchor in RecoveryThe Eating Disorder Recovery CircleConnect With Me

    26 min

  7. Mar 3

    Eating Disorder Recovery Q&A: Fullness, Weight & Trust

    Welcome to this month’s Q&A episode of Fly To Freedom. These questions come directly from members inside the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle. They are real, honest reflections from people in the middle of recovery — people who are brave enough to say the quiet things out loud. In this episode, we explore: • Fear of fullness and the panic that can follow eating• The “I feel fat” sensation and what’s really happening underneath• When it’s appropriate to ease pressure in recovery• Dog walking vs compulsive exercise — how to tell the difference• Fear foods, preference, and the evolution from structure to integration• Guilt and grief for the years lost to an eating disorder• Weight gain fear and comparison in recovery• Feeling trapped between thinness hope and body exhaustion• What “all in” actually means (and what it doesn’t)• Why restriction changes personality, irritability, and memory• Recovery feeling easier than expected — and why that can be normal• Trauma, EMDR, and the fear of relapse• Living on chocolate and fearing meals — how to move forward• The overnight “reset” effect after sleep• Delayed fullness and loud digestion in recovery This episode weaves together nervous system science, lived experience, and compassionate guidance for the messy middle of recovery. If you have ever thought: “Why does fullness feel so threatening?”“Why do I wake up feeling like a different person?”“Will my weight ever stabilise?”“Am I doing recovery properly?”“Is it safe to go deeper into trauma work?” You will likely hear yourself in these questions. Recovery is not linear. It is not one-size-fits-all. And it is not meant to feel like another rigid rule book. It is a process of teaching your nervous system that food is safe, rest is allowed, and your body does not need to be at war with you. If listening to this felt like someone finally put words to what you’ve been carrying quietly… that is not an accident. The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle exists for exactly this kind of work. Inside the Circle, you can: • Submit questions for monthly Q&As• Join live group coaching calls• Access recovery courses and workshops• Use tools like the Feelings Navigator to work with emotions instead of fighting them• Connect with others who understand this experience from the inside It is a space that complements therapy beautifully, or stands alone if that’s where you are. If you are ready for recovery that feels supported, steady, and grounded in both science and lived experience, you are very welcome inside. You can join us here: 👉 https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join You do not have to navigate fear of fullness, weight anxiety, trauma, or the “reset” mornings alone. You are learning.Your body is adapting.And you deserve support while you do. I’m sending you so much love.I’ll see you next time.

    1h 9m

  8. Feb 17

    Learning to Stop Performing for Love in Eating Disorder Recovery

    In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by writer, speaker, and podcast host Brianne Roberge for a deeply honest conversation about self-worth, trauma, and the belief that love has to be earned. We talk about what happens when you grow up learning to perform for approval, to change yourself to be acceptable, and to control your body in the hope that it will finally make you feel worthy. Brianne shares her personal journey through pageant culture, extreme physical control, cosmetic surgery, serious health consequences, and the moment everything began to shift when she stopped trying to fix herself and started listening instead. This conversation will resonate deeply if eating disorder recovery or anorexia recovery has felt less about food — and more about learning how to stay with yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable. This episode includes discussion of childhood trauma and sexual abuse. Please listen gently and take pauses if you need to. In this episode, we explore: How early experiences can teach us to earn love through performance and self-erasure Why changing the body can feel like the solution when the wound underneath is emotional The link between trauma, people-pleasing, and body control in eating disorder recovery What happens when the body starts signalling that something isn’t right The difference between self-care and true self-love Learning to stay with uncomfortable feelings instead of abandoning yourself Why self-worth is not something you can earn by becoming someone else How finding your voice can change relationships — and sometimes end them What freedom begins to feel like when you stop hustling for love So many people in eating disorder recovery and anorexia recovery recognise the pattern Brianne describes — trying to be smaller, better, quieter, more disciplined, or more acceptable in order to feel safe and loved. This episode gently unpacks why those strategies never bring lasting peace, and why healing begins when worth stops being conditional. Brianne Roberge is a writer, speaker, and podcast host who shares openly about trauma healing, self-worth, embodiment, and learning how to come home to yourself after a lifetime of performing for love. You can connect with Brianne here: Instagram: @itsbrianneroberge Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/itsbrianneroberge Website: https://www.brianneroberge.com Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5zTzthDnf5Bt5hM08FSDAk YouTube: linked via her website If this episode stirred something in you, that makes sense.These beliefs often form early, and unlearning them takes time, patience, and compassion. You don’t have to become someone else to be worthy.You are allowed to stop performing.You are allowed to stay with yourself.

    59 min
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4.7
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

Welcome to Fly to Freedom, the podcast dedicated to uncovering the truth about anorexia recovery. Having lived with anorexia for 40 years, I know firsthand the struggles, fears, and misconceptions that come with it. If you'd like to know my story, the best place to start is episode 126. This podcast isn’t just about my story—it’s about understanding the illness, challenging harmful beliefs, and finding real, lasting freedom. With expert guests and deep conversations, we explore the psychology of anorexia, the roadblocks to recovery, and the hope that healing is possible.

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