In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Alexa Andre - Sexologist and Relationship Expert
  • 4.7 (55)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Weekly

The no-b******t sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to. Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game! 🎧 New episodes every week.

  1. 6h ago

    The Conversation About Porn We're Too Afraid to Have (ft. Noelle Perdue)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with porn historian, writer, and adult industry expert Noelle Perdue for a fascinating conversation about pornography, fantasy, sexuality, kink, technology, trauma, aging, relationships, and the hidden ways porn shapes our world. Noelle shares her unlikely journey from software developer to porn scriptwriter, her work with Pornhub and the adult industry, and why she believes pornography is one of the most misunderstood cultural forces of our time. Together, Alexa and Noelle unpack the relationship between porn and real-life sexuality, whether porn influences behavior, the myths surrounding porn addiction, the role of fantasy, kink exploration, sex education, censorship, free speech, technology, consent, and how pornography impacts legislation, culture, and online platforms. The conversation also explores giantess fetishism, size kink culture, porn parodies, queer sexuality, healing after sexual trauma, alternative forms of intimacy, body image, aging, MILF culture, hookup communication, sex work, human trafficking misconceptions, and why people are often far more sexually diverse than they realize. Whether you're curious about porn's role in society, interested in sexual exploration, or simply want a deeper understanding of human desire, this episode offers an honest, nuanced, and thought-provoking perspective. Topics discussed: • How Noelle became a porn historian• Leaving tech to write porn scripts• Writing porn parodies for major studios• Working with Brazzers and Pornhub• Pornography's influence on technology and culture• Section 230 explained• FOSTA-SESTA and online censorship• Sex work vs. human trafficking• Porn and free speech debates• Does porn affect relationships?• Porn addiction and dependency myths• Porn as a tool for exploration• Why porn should not replace sex education• Fantasy vs. reality in sexual desire• The dangers of using porn as sex ed• Giantess fetish and SizeCon• Expansion fetishes and breast expansion• Vore and consumption fantasies• Alternative forms of intimacy• Expansive definitions of sex• Communicating desires with partners• Casual sex and queer relationship dynamics• Why sexual communication matters• The popularity of MILF content• Body diversity in porn• Criticisms of pornography• The "teen" category debate• Pornography as a reflection of culture• Sexual violence and porn studies• Gooning culture explained Follow Noelle:Instagram: @all_day_breakfast_ Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

    56 min

  2. Jun 4

    The Ethics of Public Sex: Consent, Kink & Social Norms (ft. Tara Michaela)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Tara Michaela for a nuanced conversation about the ethics of public sex, public play, PDA, kink visibility, consent, social norms, and why society struggles to define where the line actually is. Together they unpack whether public sexuality is inherently unethical, why people are drawn to public play and exhibitionism, the role of novelty and desire, and how context changes our perception of what's acceptable. They explore everything from making out in public, wearable vibrators, public bathrooms, sex in cars, beach hookups, PDA at parties, BDSM at Pride, leash dynamics in public spaces, sex-positive parenting, children witnessing nontraditional expressions of sexuality, consent education, sex negativity, and the difference between legality and ethics. They also discuss whether bystanders can truly consent to what they encounter in public, how social norms shape our reactions to sexuality, why people react so strongly online, how consent is often taught as a black-and-white concept despite living in gray areas, and why intent and impact both matter in conversations about consent violations. Topics discussed: • public sex vs. public play• PDA, making out, and cultural attitudes toward affection• Why public play is exciting and appealing• Novelty, desire, exhibitionism, and fantasy fulfillment• Wearable vibrators and remote-control sex toys in public• The ethics of public sexual behavior• Consent and uninvolved bystanders• Social norms versus personal freedom• The difference between legality and morality• Being the "naked neighbor" and visibility at home• BDSM visibility in public spaces• Kink at Pride and public kink discourse• Walking a submissive on a leash in public• Public conversations about sex and sexual experiences• Elevator conversations, social etiquette, and discomfort• Consent education and its limitations• Intent versus impact in consent violations• Ethical gray areas in sexuality• Sex on the beach and secluded public spaces• Sex in cars and privacy expectations• Public bathrooms and ethical considerations• PDA at parties, raves, and social gatherings• Exhibitionism and safer alternatives• Sex parties and kink events as consensual spaces• Online outrage and reactions to sexual content• How sexuality can challenge and change social norms Follow Tara:Instagram: @yourexgirlfriendtara Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2624-alexa

    56 min

  3. May 21

    Her Nudes Were Leaked. Now She Helps Victims Get Justice (ft. Norma Buster)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Norma Buster, sex positive victims rights advocate, Chief of Staff at CA Goldberg Law, survivor of image-based abuse, and online sex worker, for a raw and nuanced conversation about stalking, leaked intimate images, deepfake abuse, consent, shame, sexuality, healing, OnlyFans, bisexuality, and reclaiming agency after trauma. Topics Covered: Norma Buster’s experience with stalking and image-based abuseWhy “revenge porn” is an inaccurate and harmful termThe evolution of image-based sexual abuse lawsVictim blaming from judges, police, and societyTrauma, shame, and psychological impact after leaked intimate imagesCA Goldberg Law and victims rights advocacyThe federal Take It Down ActWhy intent-to-harm clauses make prosecutions harderFree speech debates surrounding image-based abuse lawsAI deepfakes and nudifying appsDeepfake abuse affecting women, minors, and studentsConsent, impact vs intent, and digital privacySupporting friends through stalking or abuseVictim vs survivor terminology and trauma identityPurity culture and sexual shameBisexual awakening during the pandemicDating couples and exploring non-monogamyThreesomes and alternative relationship dynamicsHealing through sexuality and sex positivityStarting an OnlyFans after surviving image-based abuseSex work stigma and online identityReclaiming agency and personal autonomyAdvice for survivors struggling with shame and harassment Follow Norma Buster:Instagram: @normabuster_CA Goldberg Law: cagoldberglaw.com Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa

    57 min

  4. May 14

    Inside a Real Open Marriage: Hiring Sex Workers, Outsourcing Anal & Adding Novelty (ft. Kate Shelor)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist, content creator, and non-monogamy advocate Kate Shelor for an unfiltered conversation about open relationships, outsourcing fantasies, emotional labor in swinging, and the surprising ways long-term couples keep intimacy exciting. Kate opens up about why she rarely dates outside her marriage despite being ethically non-monogamous, how hiring sex workers simplified their relationship dynamic, and the realities of jealousy, chemistry, group play, and sexual compatibility. They also dive into anal sex, fantasies, OnlyFans attention, emotional burnout, aging, confidence, kink exploration, and the difference between fantasy and real-life sex. Topics covered: Ethical non-monogamy & swingingWhy Kate rarely wants other partnersBeing a sex educator while datingBeing intimidating or “unapproachable”Emotional labor in open relationshipsUsing escorts and sex workers as a coupleNegotiating fantasies and boundariesWhy paying for sex can be simpler than datingOutsourcing anal and mismatched sexual interestsJealousy, communication, and trust in marriageMale vs female sex workersExploring kinks safelyWhy group sex stopped being excitingRealistic female orgasms vs porn fantasyAging, hormones, and changing libidoOnlyFans, validation, and sexual attention onlineKeeping long-term relationships excitingMatching underwear subscriptionsCruise playrooms and glory hole adventuresNovelty, intimacy, and maintaining attraction

    1 hr

  5. May 7

    Catch-Up Episode: From Sex Cruises to Serious Dating (solo ep.)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with… herself for a raw, unfiltered solo episode catching you up on everything from life on a Temptation Cruise to her evolving dating standards, sexual boundaries, and relationship mindset. Alexa shares what it’s like attending a Temptation/Desire-style cruise solo for the first time (people-watching couples, navigating swinger culture, and breaking down exactly how playrooms, workshops, and non-monogamous dynamics work in real life).  She dives into her personal shift away from casual sex and into intentional dating, explaining why she’s now prioritizing emotional connection, aftercare, and partners who genuinely meet her needs, especially when it comes to oral sex.  The episode explores deeper questions around monogamy vs. non-monogamy, whether one partner can meet all your needs, and how exposure to different relationship styles can expand your perspective, whether you ever practice them or not. She also shares behind-the-scenes insights into her workshops, from p***y worship to anal education, and what it’s like teaching pleasure in a fully immersive, hands-on environment. Topics Covered Swinger cruise culture: Temptation & Desire breakdownPlayroom rules, dynamics, and etiquetteWorkshops: p***y worship, anal 101, handjob techniquesObserving newbies vs experienced couples in non-monogamyCommunity, connection, and friendships on lifestyle cruisesUsing pleasure and joy as a form of balance in a difficult worldTransition from casual sex to intentional datingSexual dissatisfaction and unmet needs in casual dynamicsThe importance of oral sex and prioritizing female pleasureThe orgasm gap and stimulation differences during penetration“Real eater only” mindset and not settling sexuallyMonogamy vs non-monogamy reflectionsFluid relationship identities and changing over timeLearning from different relationship structuresExpanding social circles: queer, kinky, celibate, non-monogamous perspectivesMasturbation and solo pleasure practicesBehind-the-scenes of sex workshops and teaching live experiencesSTI education gaps and common fearsOrgies, private room dynamics, and cruise experiencesCommunity vs sex focus in lifestyle spacesBuilding a career as a sex educator and coach Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa Temptation Cruises Info Desire Cruises Info

    44 min

  6. Apr 30

    Energetic Sex, Tantra, and No-Touch Pleasure (ft. Ashley Manta)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Ashley Manta to explore the world of energetic sex: what it is, how it works, and whether you can actually feel pleasure, connection, or even orgasm without physical touch. They break down the concept of the energetic body vs the physical body, how breath, presence, and visualization play a role in directing energy, and how practices rooted in tantra, mindfulness, and somatic awareness can expand what we think of as sex. Ashley explains how energy can be shared between partners (with consent), how couples can sync breath and build intimacy without touch, and how techniques like eye gazing, chakra visualization, and intention-setting are used in workshops. The conversation covers everything from solo exploration to partnered experiences like “energetic penetration,” heart-to-heart connection exercises, and combining touch with energy to enhance sensation. They also discuss real workshop experiences where beginners reported feeling physical sensations, emotional releases, and even orgasms while fully clothed. Topics discussed: What “energetic sex” isEnergetic body vs physical bodyBreathwork and presence in sexual experiencesVisualization and directing energySolo energetic pleasure practicesPartnered energetic connectionEye gazing and breath syncingChakra system and energy movementHand energy exercise (feeling energy between palms)Energetic “penetration” conceptCombining physical touch with energyWorkshop experiences and beginner reactionsReports of no-touch orgasmsEmotional and somatic responses (shaking, release)Building confidence in energetic practicesEnergetic kink and power dynamicsEnergetic restraint and roleplayTuning into a partner’s “frequency”Feedback cues and responsivenessBreath orgasms vs other orgasm typesLaughgasms, coregasms, and non-traditional orgasmsExpanding definitions of pleasureSelf-pleasure and manifestation practicesUsing orgasmic energy for intention-settingLonger orgasm experiencesTantra workshops and festivalsTantric massage (what it may involve)Skepticism vs opennessLong-distance energetic connectionPhone sex using energy and visualizationAlexa’s personal experiment and results

    57 min

  7. Apr 23

    I Wanted to Be Multi-Orgasmic and Ended Up in a Sex Cult (ft. Star Stone)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Star Stone to unpack her real-life experience inside OneTaste, the controversial “orgasmic meditation” (OM) community often described as a sex cult. Star shares how she was drawn in while searching for better sex and multiple orgasms, what “OMing” actually is, and how quickly curiosity turned into something much more complex. From communal living and blurred consent to coercion, confusion, and trauma bonding, this episode dives deep into the psychological dynamics of cult-like environments and how they operate under the guise of empowerment and sexual wellness. We talk about why people join, how boundaries get blurry, what makes leaving so difficult, and what healing looked like afterward. Star also opens up about rebuilding her relationship to sex, safety, and intimacy after the experience. We also cover the recent sentencing of OneTaste founder Nicole Daedone and what accountability, justice, and systemic change actually look like in cases like this. Topics covered: How Star first discovered OneTaste What “orgasmic meditation” actually is and how it worksWanting to become multi-orgasmic and seeking better sexThe structure of OM classes and partner pairingWhy the first experience didn’t work but still hooked herMoving into communal “OM houses”Sharing beds with strangers and lack of privacyHouse rules and daily OM expectationsConfusion as a control tactic in cult dynamicsPressure to override boundaries and say yesConsent vs coercion in group environments“Lean into discomfort” and loss of autonomySexual dynamics, power, and unsafe partner experiencesTrauma bonding and cycles of abuseWhy it’s hard to leave cult-like environmentsThe role of belonging, community, and vulnerabilityLeaving the house vs leaving the organizationTherapy, treatment, and understanding narcissistic abuseProcessing trauma through art, comedy, and storytellingLife after OneTaste and rebuilding sexual safetyHow the experience impacted her sex life and relationshipsLearning boundaries, discernment, and partner selectionMoving to Costa Rica for healing and nervous system resetWriting and performing her one-woman showHumor as a tool for processing traumaCult psychology and why smart people still joinJustice vs systemic change in cases of sexual exploitation At the time of this episode, Star chose not to speak in detail about the legal case. However, here are the key verified facts: Nicole Daedone was sentenced to 9 years in federal prison in March 2026 for forced labor conspiracyCo-defendant Rachel Cherwitz received 78 months (6.5 years)Prosecutors said the organization used psychological, emotional, and financial coercionVictims were allegedly pressured into unpaid labor and sexual acts with clients or investorsThe court ordered $12 million in forfeiture and nearly $900,000 in restitution to victimsThe case followed a five-week federal trial in 2025If you want to read more: DOJ sentencing announcementGuardian coverage of the case Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2615-alexa

    51 min

  8. Apr 16

    So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex (ft. Ian Kerner)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with sex therapist and author Ian Kerner to break down what’s really going on in your sex life, starting with one simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.” From there, they unpack the patterns most couples fall into and why sex often becomes routine, disconnected, or unsatisfying over time. This episode dives into the hidden dynamics behind desire, communication, and intimacy and how to actually fix them. They cover: sex scripts and why most people follow the same predictable patternspontaneous vs responsive desire and why mismatched libidos happenwhy initiation often fails (and creates rejection cycles)obligation sex vs genuinely wanting itthe role of foreplay, arousal, and why rushing to penetration backfiresthe orgasm gap and importance of clitoral stimulationwhy couples stop prioritizing sex in long-term relationshipscommunication struggles and how to actually say what you wantturning complaints into clear desiresbuilding anticipation, tension, and erotic connectionpractical tools like the “willingness window”how to create better sex through intention, not just chemistry

    57 min
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4.7
out of 5
55 Ratings

About

The no-b******t sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to. Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game! 🎧 New episodes every week.

Information

  • Creator
    Alexa Andre - Sexologist and Relationship Expert
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    110
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Alexa Andre - Sexologist and Relationship Expert
  • Show Website
    In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

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