In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Alexa Andre - Sexologist and Relationship Expert

The no-b******t sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to. Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game! 🎧 New episodes every week.

  1. 3d ago

    Are Affairs Actually Hot? Cheating, Kinks & Relationship Rules (ft. Carly Pifer)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Carly from Read Aurore to talk about why affairs, cheating, secrecy, and other taboo desires can be so damn hot. What makes an affair feel so passionate? Why does forbidden sex create such intense desire? And can cheating ever be understandable—or even acceptable—depending on the circumstances? Alexa and Carly get into the complicated psychology of infidelity, including why people cheat, why an affair isn't necessarily about the person being cheated on, the power of secrecy and feeling chosen, and why affairs between two people who are both in relationships can feel more equal than an affair between a partnered person and someone single. Topic discussed: Affairs and infidelity: why affairs happen and why they're sexually appealingCheating and relationship agreementsWhether you should tell someone their partner is cheatingThe “what you don't know can't hurt you” debateThe ethics of being the other person in an affairMarried people cheating with single peopleWhy people having affairs often don't leave their primary relationshipsThe idea of financial compensation in an affair Esther Perel and The State of AffairsCheating in abusive or neglectful relationshipsCheating when a partner is sick or disabledSexual needs within long-term relationshipsSexual incompatibilitySex workers and whether hiring one constitutes cheatingDefining what “cheating” means in a relationshipPorn as a potential form of cheatingOpen relationships and the possibility of cheating within themPublic sex/public playThe thrill and risk of getting caughtSex in semi-public placesPrivacy, consent, and the ethics of public sexual behaviorBeing walked in on during sexConsensual/role-play affairsThe fantasy of secrecy without actual betrayalHotel rooms and sneaking aroundFear of getting caughtFeeling chosen/special through an affairNovelty and new relationship energy Follow Carly:Instagram: @readaurore Website: www.readaurore.com  Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

  2. Sep 24

    Can Pleasure Heal Trauma? Sex, Intimacy & Reclaiming Your Power (ft. Lauren Elise Rogers)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sexuality educator and embodied intimacy & relationship coach Lauren Elise Rogers for a deeply honest conversation about sexual trauma, healing, pleasure, intimacy, consent, and reclaiming your relationship with your body. In this episode: Sexual trauma and sexual assaultConsent and coercionWhy sexual trauma can be underreportedShame and sex-negative cultureRape culture and normalizing sexual harmVictim vs. survivor languageWhy healing is not linearTrauma, fear and helplessnessProcessing an experience after it happensTalking to a safe person after traumaTrauma and the bodyAccountability and taking responsibilityApologies and relationship repairDefensiveness and ego after causing harmListening to impact instead of defending intentAsking curious questionsCommunication and empathySex educators and trauma therapists working togetherPleasure as part of healingReclaiming intimacy after sexual traumaSex after sexual assaultPelvic-floor responses and sexual tensionTriggers and nervous-system responsesNeural pathways and creating new experiences of safetySomatic healing and body-based responsesShaking, movement, dancing and laughterOrgasm and pleasurePlay as a healing modalityTrauma becoming connected to erotic arousalForgiveness vs. reconciliationBoundaries after harmSelf-forgivenessHealing within healthy relationshipsTime, memory and healingWhy healing doesn't necessarily mean never being triggeredReclaiming pleasure, agency and identityBuilding a life beyond simply “surviving” Follow Lauren:Instagram: @sex_ed_for_you Website: www.sexedforyou.com Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa

  3. Sep 17

    You’re Not as “Freaky” as You Think: Kinks, Fetishes & Fantasies (ft. Niki Davis)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, event planner and author Niki Davis for a conversation about sexual shame, uncommon desires, kinks, fetishes, fantasies, self-pleasure, relationships and the psychology of arousal. Why do so many people feel ashamed of what turns them on? Niki Davis shares what she has learned from working with people with uncommon desires and explains the difference between shame and guilt, how shame can create a spiral of negative thoughts, and why people can feel like they have a “fetish self” and a separate identity. Topics discussed:• Sexual shame and how to recognize it• Shame vs. guilt• Uncommon sexual desires• Kinks vs. fetishes• Sexual fantasies• How the brain influences arousal• Whether desires can change or evolve• Exposure and developing new desires• Partner acceptance and exploring a partner’s kink• Balloon fetishes (poppers vs non-poppers)• Wet floor sign fetishes• Foot fetish• Carpet fetishism and Giorgio Carpet• Vore and being swallowed fantasies• Fantasy vs. real-life sexual experiences• Threesomes as fantasy vs. reality• Scat play• Disgust and arousal• Finding community around uncommon desires• Shame spirals and negative thought loops• Identifying sexual and emotional triggers• Keeping a thought log• Exploring kinks independently• Using imagination as part of erotic experiences Follow Niki:Instagram: @missbloomsexeducator Website: www.nikidavisf.com Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

  4. Sep 10

    The Bedroom Gap: Painful Sex, Low Desire & Vaginal Health (ft. Dr. Sophocles)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, and author Dr. Maria Sophocles to talk openly about painful sex, vaginal health, sexual pleasure, menopause, low desire, and everything in between. Topics discussed: Why does sex hurt? How common is painful sex, and when should you see a doctor? Dr. Maria Sophocles breaks down the most common causes of sexual pain, including vaginal dryness and inadequate lubrication, lack of arousal, vaginismus and a hypertonic pelvic floor, dermatologic conditions such as lichen sclerosus, STIs including herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea, and internal causes such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, fibroids and scarring.Alexa and Dr. Sophocles also get into why lubrication isn't the same thing as arousal, the importance of taking time before penetration, sexual scripting, communication with your partner, the orgasm gap, faking orgasms, low libido and desire differences, and why treating pain can sometimes bring sexual desire back.They discuss estrogen, genitourinary syndrome of menopause, perimenopause, postpartum and breastfeeding-related changes, surgical menopause, chemotherapy, vaginal estrogen, systemic estrogen, birth control and its potential effects on dryness and libido, as well as pelvic floor physical therapy, Kegels and pelvic floor relaxation.The conversation also covers PMS and period symptoms, breast tenderness, mood changes, back pain, exercise, sleep, meditation, mindfulness, magnesium, ibuprofen, vitamin E and evening primrose oil.Pap smears, trauma during gynecological exams, pediatric speculums, lubricant during Pap testing, and the future of at-home HPV/Pap sample collection. They also play fact vs.fiction on cotton underwear, synthetic underwear, thongs, tight leggings, sweating after workouts, panty liners, vaginal discharge, vulva washing, soap, feminine washes, vaginal pH, normal genital odor, BV, boric acid, antibiotics, the vaginal microbiome, diet, fermented foods, probiotics/microbiome testing, vulvar irritation, pubic hair and friction. Follow Dr. Sophocles:Instagram: @mariasophoclesmd Website: www.mariasophoclesmd.com Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa

  5. Aug 27

    Rough Sex, Kink, Fantasies & What Women Really Want (ft. Small Hands)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Small Hands (Aaron Thompson) to talk about what really creates sexual attraction, the difference between confidence and competence, rough sex, kink, consent, boundaries, and the fantasies people don't always know how to talk about. In this episode: Non-sexual turn-ons and how they become sexual turn-onsHands, feet, scent and other physical turn-onsActs of service, chores, cleaning and thoughtfulness as turn onsAppreciation, validation and keeping long-term relationships connectedBoundary talks before professional collaborationsReading someone's comfort level and adjusting in the momentSexual toys, magic wands, lube and taking initiativeConfidence vs. competenceWhy competence may be more attractive than confidenceHumility, ego and letting actions speak for themselvesSexual performance anxiety and the pressure to “deliver”Small Hands' first g******g and early experiences in pornCNC (consensual non-consent) fantasiesDark fantasies and the importance of genuine desire and safetyKink, trauma and how life experiences can shape sexual interestsReclaiming autonomy through fantasyThe unexpected origins of a foot fetishWhat “rough sex” actually meansPhysical, verbal and psychological elements of rough sexWhy rough sex requires context, intent and communicationRough sex vs. disrespectConsent, boundaries and negotiating BDSM/kinkChoking and assuming a partner wants itHot ways of checking in during sex Why porn should never be treated as a guide for real-life behaviorTrust and safety as foundations for exploring darker fantasiesSmall Hands' private fantasy of slow, romantic, sensual sex Follow Aaron: Instagram: @thesmallhands_ Follow Alexa Andre: Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa

  6. Aug 13

    Pt. 2 - I Asked a Butt Surgeon Every Question You're Too Embarrassed to Ask (ft. Dr. Evan Goldstein)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in back bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They discuss anal health, pleasure, preparation, and all the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask. Topics discussed in this episode: Anal pleasure and breaking down taboos and mythsExploring anal stimulation for the first timeThe P-spot/prostate and prostate orgasmsThe A-spot and anal pleasure for womenTopping vs. bottomingWhy tops should understand anal anatomyAnal foreplay and gradual penetrationThe three sphincter musclesBreathing, relaxation and communicationPain, bleeding and discomfort during anal sexLube and why anal sex differs from vaginal sexPenis size, thickness and anatomyMushroom-shaped penises and preparationBad first anal experiencesSelf-exploration and masturbationPressure vs. in-and-out stimulationRiding and controlling penetrationDilators and gradual anal trainingAnatomy vs. psychological/neurological factorsBleeding, tightness and when to seek medical carePoop during anal sexShame and anxiety around cleanlinessDouching and over-douchingGut health, fiber and dietPrebiotics and probioticsFood and how diet can affect anal sexCondoms and anal sexPrEP and DoxyPEPThe “toy test” after douchingHemorrhoids and what they actually areFissures and skin tagsPegging and strap-on playProstate massage and prostate milkingEdging and gooningAnal Botox and pelvic floor physical therapyButt facialsButt acne, ingrown hairs and hair removalWet wipes and anal irritationBidets and portable bidetsToilet paper vs. water-based cleaningEvan's work with Bespoke Surgical and Future Method Follow Dr. G:Instagram: @drevangoldstein | @bespokesurgical | @thefuturemethod Website and more: Bespoke Surgical Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa

  7. Aug 6

    Pt. 1 - I Asked a Butt Surgeon Every Question You're Too Embarrassed to Ask (ft. Dr. Evan Goldstein)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They do a deep dive into anal sex, butt health, and everything you've always wanted to ask about your a*****e. Topics Discussed Dr. Evan Goldstein's journey from heart surgery to anal surgeryComing out and discovering anal health as a medical specialtyCosmetic vs. functional anal proceduresHemorrhoids, fissures, skin tags, and anal anatomyPost-pregnancy anal changesGrooming injuries and anal skin concernsConfidence and body image around the anusAnal bleaching and whether it's worth itPerineum "sunning"What makes a "healthy" vs. "perfect" assholeThe truth about anal douchingProtecting the anal microbiomeWhy over-douching can increase STI and HIV riskFuture Method and isotonic douchingSafe products to use in the anusCan anal sex make you loose?Incontinence mythsMale vs. female pelvic anatomyAnal BotoxWhen surgery is necessaryDilators for beginnersFingering mistakes that cause injuriesProper lubricationRelaxation techniques for anal penetrationUnderstanding the three anal sphinctersThe three "types" of assholesBuilding up to anal safelyHow often bottoms should practiceFiber, probiotics, hydration, and digestive healthWhether everyone needs to douchePreparing for occasional anal sexThe prostate (P-spot)The A-spotProstate orgasmsCommon myths surrounding anal sexHow to reduce injury while maximizing pleasure Follow Dr. G:Instagram: @drevangoldstein | @bespokesurgical | @thefuturemethod Website and more: Bespoke Surgical Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

4.6
out of 5
64 Ratings

About

The no-b******t sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to. Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game! 🎧 New episodes every week.

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