Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

Pure Desire Network
  • 4.9 (35)
  • CHRISTIANITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective.

  1. 2D AGO

    094 - Restoration or Reality? Navigating Marriage, Addiction, and Boundaries

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Despite years of counseling and recovery efforts following discovery, I’m exhausted by repeated delays in my husband’s full disclosure. I’ve set a February deadline to protect my well-being but feel uncertain about boundaries, patience, and enabling patterns. How long is it healthy to wait, and am I asking too much? After 30 years of marriage to a pornography addict and many unsuccessful recovery attempts, I feel stuck needing support I can’t currently access due to finances and work constraints. I want to prepare for possible disclosure but feel alone in this process. What practical options exist when counseling and groups aren’t realistically available right now? Throughout repeated cycles of recovery, relapse, separation, and now a 90-day treatment program, I feel torn between hope for our family and fear of returning to an unsafe dynamic. My husband is optimistic, but I remain uncertain and guarded. How do I move forward with clarity and strength, honoring the desire for restoration while holding firm, non-negotiable boundaries for safety and trust? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    18 min

  2. MAR 24 ·  BONUS

    Integrating Psychology & Spirituality with Dr. Craig Cashwell

    In this insightful conversation, we sit down with a clinician and ministry leader, Dr. Craig Cashwell, who is passionate about integrating psychological wisdom with spiritual formation.  We explore how faith and clinical care work together in the healing process and unpack the powerful statement, “Nothing that is psychologically damaging is theologically sound.” You’ll gain a clearer understanding of trauma, how it’s stored in the body, and practical ways to move toward regulation and restoration.  We also discuss the “window of tolerance,” the realities of hyper- and hypo-arousal, and the often overlooked impact of benign neglect. This episode offers both practical tools and deep encouragement for anyone pursuing holistic healing. Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    38 min

  3. MAR 17 ·  BONUS

    Stories of Healing with Cyndie & Dusty

    In this vulnerable and transparent episode, Cyndie and Dusty share their story of betrayal, discovery, and the courageous steps that led them to seek help.  Dusty offers the often unheard perspective of a husband navigating betrayal trauma, including the physical, emotional, and spiritual impact and how he pursued recovery. Cyndie talks about joining an Unraveled group: what was challenging, what surprised her, and how the process shaped her healing. Together, they reflect on how healing has influenced their marriage, family, and daily life.  If you’re afraid to reach out for help, this conversation offers hope, clarity, and a reminder that restoration begins with one brave step. Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    53 min

  4. MAR 10 ·  BONUS

    Let’s Talk About Divorce with Andrea Rogers

    In this honest and compassionate conversation, we explore one of the most difficult realities couples may face: when separation, and sometimes divorce, becomes part of the healing journey. How can someone discern when it’s time to consider divorce? What boundaries protect emotional and spiritual health along the way?  We also discuss caring for children through the transition, navigating reactions from family and faith communities, and how churches can respond with grace instead of shame.  You’ll hear practical guidance on counseling, support systems, and the personal work needed before entering a new relationship. If you’re facing these questions, this episode offers wisdom, hope, and reassurance that you are not alone. Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    1h 1m

  5. MAR 3

    093 - Helping Your Partner Heal From the Impact of Your Addiction

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’m terrified that full honesty will cost me everything—my marriage, my family, my reputation. I want healing, but I’m afraid the truth might do more damage than good. Do I really need to tell my partner everything—and what if it destroys my marriage? I thought quitting the behavior and apologizing would be the turning point, but it hasn’t been. I feel frustrated and helpless (sometimes angry) watching my partner still hurt—and I don’t understand why my efforts don’t seem to be enough. Why doesn’t my partner’s pain go away once I stop or say I’m sorry? Why do I feel like I will be lost without this coping mechanism—and what replaces it? This has been how I’ve numbed stress, loneliness, and failure for years, even decades. If I let it go, I’m afraid of what I’ll feel—and I don’t know how to live differently yet. Will life feel boring? Listen Now If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    20 min

  6. FEB 24

    092 - Rebuilding Intimacy After Betrayal: Orgasm, Erection, and Trust

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - We are 5 years post betrayal and our intimacy has gotten better and deeper. Though there are still barriers around me achieving orgasm. It took us 2 years for me to orgasm. It’s very separated right now, either I am orgasming or he is. We want to do it at the same time. How do we do that? He has suggested that I rub myself during sex. Is this okay or considered masturbation? It makes me uncomfortable, but I also want to achieve orgasm at the same time. - Is it common for men to have trouble keeping an erection and achieving orgasm during sex? I’ve never struggled with achieving orgasm but my husband has so much trouble. We’ve linked it to his porn and masturbation history, but he thinks it’s purely physical. I think it’s mostly mental. What should we do? - My husband had sex with prostitutes. What does this mean? I feel like this is so different from other ways of sexually acting out. It’s not really the same as an affair. Or is it? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    18 min

  7. FEB 17

    091 - Navigating Trauma and Trust After Infidelity

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After 37 years of marriage marked by sexual betrayal and addiction, my husband left for another woman, leaving deep trauma and guilt in his wake. I wrestle with regret, self-blame, and grief after years of prayer and perseverance. How do I heal from this betrayal, forgive him, and release the past so I can build a sane, hopeful future?More than four years after discovering decades of hidden infidelity, I’m still living with trauma, unanswered questions, and confusion about what true recovery even looks like. Therapy helped, but accountability, boundaries, and honest dialogue were never addressed. Am I wrong to keep seeking clarity and healing, or is moving forward impossible without real transparency and shared responsibility?I’m lost and devastated, struggling to trust my husband’s recovery, transparency, and willingness to include me rather than keep me at a distance. Unless I push, he shares nothing, leaving me questioning his honesty and commitment. How much should I pursue involvement in his recovery, and how can I rebuild any level of trust without losing myself in the process?Bonus Question: Dear Ashley and Heather: So much of your counsel includes suggesting to “find individual therapists.” But not all therapists are created equal. Can you please help your listeners- including me - get a sanity check on what effective “sex addiction therapy” should look like: what are the key components and key indicators that recovery is happening for the addict spouse? I’m asking because after three years of my husband seeing a therapist known for his specialty in sex addiction, my husband has made minimal to no real progress. My husband has shown an exceptional level of resistance to doing the hard work, but I only just recently learned about CSAT certification. Could having a therapist that follows a more loose style of "what are you coming in with today" be a factor? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    23 min

  8. FEB 10

    090 - Why Can’t I Stop? Understanding the Inner Battle with Porn & Affairs

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Why do I keep going back to porn or affairs even when I genuinely want to stop? I’ve prayed, made promises, installed accountability, and genuinely meant it—yet somehow I still find myself back here. Each relapse leaves me more confused and ashamed, wondering why my desire to change doesn’t seem to be enough.Is this really an addiction—or am I just a bad person? Part of me wants an explanation, and part of me fears it doesn’t exist. I worry that if this isn’t an addiction, then the problem is simply who I am—and that maybe I’m beyond real change.I specifically struggle with having a crush on my husband’s best friend. I hate that my mind goes places I don’t want it to, even with people I care about and would never want to hurt. I feel trapped between my thoughts, my shame, and my fear of what this says about my heart. How do I stop objectifying men and start seeing them as people again?Listen Now If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    19 min
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Trailer

4.9
out of 5
35 Ratings

About

Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective.

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