Crazy Together

Marcus & Esme O’Kayvius

If you’re sick and tired of listening to the negative talk track playing in your head, then why not listen to us instead? We are Marcus and Esme O’Kayvius (not our real names), a married, neurodivergent couple with a lot of experience managing our own mental health issues while raising a daughter and navigating the dystopic hellscape that is corporate America. Join us each week as we discuss trending mental health issues and explore how they impact our health and wellness. We’ll also examine the myths and misconceptions associated with mental health and what we can do about them. Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com

  1. 1d ago

    154. It’s not a Corrective Emotional Experience, but We’ll Take it

    Marcus tells the story of the most unexpectedly one-sided bar brawl he’s ever seen. More sophisticated listeners will no doubt hear the tale of a face-off between a normal, average looking guy and an enormous and swaggeringly drunk body builder and see parallels with the results of some recent political races.  Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact Sources for this episode include: “The Convergence Special Interest Group.” “Corrective Emotional Experiences.” Psychology Today, 21 May 2020, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/convergence-and-integration-in-psychotherapy/202005/corrective-emotional-experiences.  Castonguay, Louis G., and Clara E. Hill. “Corrective Experiences in Psychotherapy: An Introduction.” Transformation in Psychotherapy: Corrective Experiences Across Cognitive Behavioral, Humanistic, and Psychodynamic Approaches, edited by Louis G. Castonguay and Clara E. Hill, American Psychological Association, 2012, pp. 1-12. DOI: 10.1037/13747-001. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-30086-001  Zeira, Anna. "Mental Health Challenges Related to Neoliberal Capitalism in the United States." Community Mental Health Journal, vol. 58, no. 2, May 2021, pp. 205–212. PubMed Central, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8145185/.  Our theme music Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun...   Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp

  2. Oct 28

    152. It’s Written on Your Face: Empathy, Emotions, and Botox

    In a recent Hyperfocus Bonus (episode 139: Can’t Get Enough of Your Emotional Cues, Babe), Esme shared a surprising discovery she made after noticing some fine lines on her forehead (which, it is critical to note, are totally normal and not that noticeable . . . and even if they were it doesn’t matter because Marcus loves Esme’s expressive face and wouldn’t wish it otherwise). She had learned that Botox injections, which temporarily paralyze some facial muscles, have been reported to impact people’s ability to pick up on other’s emotional cues and empathize with them. She wanted to know what the connection was between peoples’ facial muscles and their abilities to process emotions. Moreover, she wondered if neurodivergent people, who sometimes struggle picking up on other peoples’ facial cues as it is, had even more difficulty reading the cues of people who recently received Botox. She was intrigued by these questions, and vowed to research them further and perhaps, one day, make her research the focus of a podcast episode.  And then she started getting a lot of homework assignments and was like, nuts to that. So Marcus picked up the bit. And in true Marcus fashion he promptly fell down multiple rabbit holes.  Turns out, facial muscles play a huge role in helping us recognize other peoples’ emotions. But more than that, they might also help generate, maintain, and shape our emotional experiences. In other words, we don’t feel an emotional response to something and then our facial muscles react to that emotion. Instead, our facial muscles (and other parts of the body) have a physical response to some stimuli, which then triggers an emotional response.  It’s all very fascinating. So be sure to join Marcus as he shares his findings with Esme, because it is a fast, action-packed episode with some very interesting implications for neurodivergent people and our ability to interact with and understand others.  Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact Sources for this episode include: Davis, Joshua Ian, et al. “The Effects of BOTOX® Injections on Emotional Experience.” Emotion, vol. 10, no. 3, June 2010, pp. 433-440. DOI: 10.1037/a0018690. PubMed Central, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2880828/  Stark, Shauna, et al. “Modulation of Amygdala Activity for Emotional Faces Due to Botulinum Toxin Type A Injections That Prevent Frowning.” Scientific Reports, vol. 13, no. 1, 27 Feb. 2023, article 3333. DOI: 10.1038/s41598-023-29280-x. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-023-29280-x.pdf  Raman, Nandita, et al. “Relationships between Affect Recognition, Empathy, Alexithymia, and Co-Occurring Conditions in Autism.” Brain Sciences, vol. 13, no. 8, 3 Aug. 2023, article 1161. DOI: 10.3390/brainsci13081161. PubMed Central, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10452701/  “Empathy in Autism.” Cognitive Psychology Reference, CognitivePsychology.com, https://www.cognitivepsychology.com/Empathy_in_Autism.  “Cognitive Empathy, Affective Empathy and Empirical Research on the Double Empathy Problem.” Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 2026, doi:10.1007/s10803-026-07315-2. Springer Nature, https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-026-07315-2  Our theme music Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun...   Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp

  3. Oct 22

    150. Institutional Betrayal: The Science of Gettin’ Screwed Over

    Philadelphia’s Academy of Natural Sciences museum recently announced that after nearly 200 years of continuous operation, it was going to close its doors forever. Or rather, Drexel University, who assumed management responsibilities for the museum back in 2011, announced it would be closing the museum because, well, it just seems like nobody wants to go there anymore.  This was very sad news in the O’Kayvious household. Both Marcus and Esme have fond memories of visiting the museum on field trips when they were kids. Esme also had the pleasure of staying in the museum overnight with her girl scout troop. It was a popular package the museum offered for many years that was both fun (there were plenty of activities and games) and vaguely disquieting (the taxidermied specimens watched you as you slept with their cold, black eyes). Marcus and Esme’s daughter is also a fan of the museum, having visited it at least once every year since she was 4 (not counting the COVID years).  However, as the days and weeks passed, their sadness turned to confusion as details began to leak out from former employees and volunteers. Could it be that management decisions, may have contributed to the museum's financial difficulties? Their confusion then turned to frustration and bewilderment as community leaders and activists began to speculate that Drexel might be motivated by other factors, such how much money they might make by selling such a valuable piece of real estate.  Eventually, the Okayvious clan just became downright angry. But at who? And for what reason specifically? It was hard to pin down. But they couldn’t shake the feeling that someone or something had betrayed their trust.  And then they realized, hey, this phenomenon feels really familiar. Nowadays, it seems like any system people might have put their trust into in the past (e.g., our political system; the criminal justice system; our lousy, broken health care system, etc.) is willing to betray that trust whenever it suits their needs.  Eventually it dawned on them that if a phenomenon really is so common and widespread, surely there must be a name for it. It turns out there is: it’s called Institutional Betrayal, and it might be one of the many factors contributing to the depression and anxiety epidemics in America.  BUT! It doesn’t have to be. It turns out with a problem like this, naming the source of your distress can bring you closer to healing, and deciding whether you want to mourn what is lost, move on with your life, or fight back (non-violently). Marcus shares these lessons and more in this very special episode.  Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact Sources for this episode include: Federico, Laura. “The Heartbreak of Institutional Betrayal.” Psychology Today, 14 June 2025. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/identity-in-disruption/202506/the-heartbreak-of-institutional-betrayal  Freyd, Jennifer J. “Institutional Betrayal Research Home Page.” University of Oregon, https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/institutionalbetrayal/  Freyd, Jennifer J.. “Center for Institutional Courage.” Center for Institutional Courage, https://www.institutionalcourage.org/  Smith, Carly Parnitzke, and Jennifer J. Freyd. “Institutional Betrayal.” American Psychologist, vol. 69, no. 6, 2014, pp. 575-584. DOI: 10.1037/a0037564. PDF hosted by the University of Oregon, https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/articles/sf2014.pdf  “Institutional Betrayal Magnifies Post-Trauma Effects of Unwanted Sexual Activity.” University of Oregon News Archive, 8 Mar. 2013, https://pages.uoregon.edu/digital/uonews-archive/archive/news-release/2013/3/institutional-betrayal-magnifies-post-trauma-effects-unwanted-sexual-act.html  DePrince, Anne P. “When a Trauma Is Also a Betrayal.” Psychology Today, 16 Nov. 2022, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/awareness-action/202211/when-trauma-is-also-betrayal  Crimmins, Peter. “Philadelphia’s Academy of Natural Sciences Museum Is Closing.” WHYY, 1 Sept. 2026, https://whyy.org/articles/academy-natural-sciences-museum-drexel-closes/  Yu, Alan. “What Went Wrong at Philly’s Academy of Natural Sciences? Former Museum Staffers Point to Years of Missteps.” WHYY, 2 Oct. 2026, https://whyy.org/articles/academy-of-natural-sciences-closing-explainer/

  4. Oct 14

    148. ADHD Under Pressure

    Marcus is flying solo on this episode while Esme practices self-care. Today’s topic: Do people with adhd perform better under pressure? Spoiler alert: Yes, we do. However, this is very much one of those “double-edged sword” issues. Sometimes, being great at something is a real challenge if that talent takes a physical and mental toll on our health and well-being.  So in this episode, Marcus explains why people with ADHD are so good at performing under pressure, discusses the related health risks, and identifies a handful of strategies people with ADHD can use to trigger some of the motivating impulses associated with high stress scenarios without exposing ourselves to actual risks.  Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact Sources for this episode include: Cork, Jennifer. “The Need for More Awareness During ADHD Awareness Month.” Psychology Today, 1 Oct. 2026, Psychology Today article. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neurodivergent-knowledge/202610/the-need-for-more-awareness-during-adhd-awareness-month  Green, Hannah Harris. “Some People with ADHD Thrive in Periods of Stress, New Study Shows.” The Guardian, 26 Oct. 2024, www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/oct/26/adhd-symptoms-high-stress.  Walsh, Jennifer. “Why ADHD Brains Work Better Under Pressure.” In Focus First, n.d.https://infocusfirst.com/why-adhd-brains-work-better-under-pressure/#the-science-behind-the-last-minute-rush  Uche, Ugochukwu U. “Why ADHD Brains Thrive on Last-Minute Pressure.” Psychology Today, 23 June 2025, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/promoting-empathy-with-your-teen/202506/why-adhd-brains-thrive-on-last-minute-pressure.  Lasky, Susan. “A Sense of Urgency: ADHD Productivity Hacks.” ADDitude, 12 May 2025, https://www.additudemag.com/sense-of-urgency-productivity-hack-adhd/  ADDA Editorial Team. “Breaking Free From ADHD Procrastination: Techniques for Success.” ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association), ADDA Editorial Team, 13 June 2024, https://add.org/adhd-procrastination/. Our theme music Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun...   Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp

  5. Oct 9

    147. HYPERFOCUS BONUS: Book Wins and Football Losses

    Marcus and Esme readily admit they are not perfect parents, but they do feel like they got at least one thing more or less right. They always prized, valued, and enjoyed time spent reading to their daughter. Eventually, their daughter learned to read on her own and, like most voracious readers, began to prize the time she spent reading to herself. While Marcus and Esme were proud of their girl’s reading skills and independence, both of them miss the simple joys of reading to their favorite small-ish person.  However, Esme recently found two books from different series she used to read to their daughter. And, surprise of all surprises, was delighted to learn her daughter wanted to continue the tradition of reading them together. For his part, Marcus is happy for the both of them, but he laments his daughter's lack of interest in completing one of their shared book series: The Baby-Sitters Club. Marcus very much wants to know how it ends and would like to experience that with his daughter, but he’s kept those feelings bottled up inside. He’s such a Mary Anne in that way. For his part, Marcus shares the joys, pains, contradictions, and ethical dilemmas of being a football fan. His favorite team is doing well, which is good, so he should be happy. However, his joy is tempered by the fact that Lane Johnson, one of the league’s best players, suddenly announced he is retiring this week, citing family needs and his own mental health challenges as his rationale. Johnson is someone who has been very open about his struggles with depression over the years, so his decision makes sense. However, Johnson has also had issues with Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs) and has had at least four concussions in his career, both of which are strongly associated with an increased risk of developing depression and mood disorders. As such, he is certainly not the first (and he definitely won’t be the last) football player whose career, health, and mental well-being suffered as a result of the extremely high physical demands of the sport.  Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact Our theme music Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun...   Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp

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About

If you’re sick and tired of listening to the negative talk track playing in your head, then why not listen to us instead? We are Marcus and Esme O’Kayvius (not our real names), a married, neurodivergent couple with a lot of experience managing our own mental health issues while raising a daughter and navigating the dystopic hellscape that is corporate America. Join us each week as we discuss trending mental health issues and explore how they impact our health and wellness. We’ll also examine the myths and misconceptions associated with mental health and what we can do about them. Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com

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