Gettin' Gritty for Mental Health Therapists: Clinical Confidence + Reassurance, Reframing Imposter Syndrome, Overwhelm and Bu

Stefanie Armstrong + Cathy Schweitzer: Trauma Trained Mental Health Therapists, Practice Owners, Authors and Clinical Supervisors
  • 4.7 (13)
  • Mental Health

As a mental health therapist have you ever been awake at 2am replaying sessions in your head, wondering if you’ve done and said the right thing? Do you ever feel isolated, overwhelmed, or unsure of your confidence as a clinician? Do you ever feel like you must be the only mental health therapist who feels this way? You’re not alone, we've been there too.  We’ve lived the long days, secretly thinking "I'm just not good at this yet. My supervisor would do a better job with this client." We've been through the draining sessions, and the silent car rides home where you just can't help from crying. We know the weight of secondary trauma, burnout, and self-doubt and we also know the power of grit, resilience, and community.  We're Cathy and Stef, two "been there, done that" trauma-trained, EMDR-certified, Somatic Experiencing-trained practice owners, and we created The Gritty Therapist as a safe space for clinicians who are tired of feeling like they’re the only ones struggling with confidence and imposter-syndrome.  Our goal: help you feel less isolated and more confident.    Each episode delivers real-talk, grounded in our own experiences with late-night worries, confusion and how we continue to grow our own grit and confidence. We’ll share the exact tools we’ve used to avoid burnout (and get out of burnout!), rebuild confidence, and stay connected to our purpose and passion. You’ll also hear from guest therapists who’ve walked through the trenches and discovered how to grow their gritty confidence while actually having a life outside the therapy room. Whether you’re holding space for vulnerable children, families, or adults, this podcast will remind you that you’re not alone. Together, we’ll explore strategies to help you become a more confident mental health therapist...all while keeping it real, compassionate, and relatable. 👉 Free resources + downloads: www.thegrittytherapist.com 👉 Follow us on Instagram: @grittytherapist

  1. 5d ago

    Involving Parents in Therapy with Children and Adolescents: Trauma, Attachment, and Co-Regulation

    Working with kids and teens who have attachment trauma, and feeling stuck? In this episode of the Gettin' Gritty Podcast for Mental Health Therapists, we (Cathy Schweitzer and Stefanie Armstrong) walk you through the "scared-scary cycle." It's a simple family therapy intervention that helps you break the pattern by working with the parents first. And, we've got a guide to go right along with it.  Grab yours here. Here's the cycle we see in our offices all the time: a scared child acts scary. Those scary behaviors (multi-hour meltdowns, running away, stealing, non-compliance, "I hate you") scare the parents. Then scared parents act scary right back, with consequences like "you can never have your phone again." Everybody is being protective, and everybody is stuck. Kids "live within that parent-child relationship and not in relationship necessarily with me in my office." So if you're only working with the child, you're missing an entire piece of the therapeutic work. In this episode, we cover: How we map the scared-scary cycle on a whiteboard so parents can actually see itWhy trauma behaviors are protective, and how to help parents connect present-day behavior to past experiencesHow your attunement to the parent creates co-regulation at homeOur "you hardly stole any phones this week" story, and why meeting a child with attunement instead of fear can extinguish a behaviorWhy parents who seem mean are usually protective, defensive, and exhaustedHow you can use this intervention with adult clients and couples tooYour action item: pick one family, use CPT code 90846 for a parent-only session, and just try itWe'll be honest: this work takes grit. It takes confidence, and confidence comes from "action, action, action." Share this episode with one of your gritty besties and talk through how you'd bring it to a family on your caseload. Referenced in this episode: Integrative Parenting: Strategies for Raising Children Affected by Attachment Trauma (Wesselmann, Schweitzer & Armstrong, W.W. Norton, 2014)Integrative Team Treatment for Attachment Trauma in Children: Family Therapy and EMDR (Wesselmann, Schweitzer & Armstrong, W.W. Norton, 2014)Our related episode: Past. Present. Future. interventionOur related episode: Attachment interventions for kidsConnect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:  Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skippedThe Gritty Therapist  Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children CertificateThe Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy. Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

  2. Sep 29

    Therapist Burnout and Work-Life Balance: Money Mindset, Motherhood, and Outsourcing with Carly Costello-Part 2

    Can therapists build successful careers, care for their families, make money, and protect their own well-being, without burning themselves out trying to “balance” everything? Whew! It's exhausting just reading that! In Part 2 of our conversation with Carly Costello of EMDR with Carly, we talk honestly about therapist burnout, working motherhood, productivity pressure, money mindset, ADHD, and the shame many women experience when they feel like they should be able to do it all. Carly shares how she manages life as an EMDR consultant, group practice owner, entrepreneur, wife, stepmom, and mother of young children. Her answer isn’t a perfect morning routine or a magical formula for work-life balance. It’s learning to recognize her strengths, release unrealistic expectations, and outsource the things that consume her time and mental energy. In this episode, we discuss: Why work-life balance may be an impossible (and shame-producing) goalHow outsourcing household and business tasks can protect your energyThe money beliefs that contribute to therapist burnoutWhy wanting to earn money doesn’t make you a selfish therapistThe pressure professional women feel to do everything wellProductivity guilt and learning to give yourself permission to restThe tension between building a business and being present with your childrenAdjusting your caseload as a group practice ownerAccepting the messy, imperfect parts of yourselfWhy authenticity can help you connect more deeply with clientsIf you’re a therapist, private practice owner, working mother, or helping professional who feels pulled between your career, family, and personal needs, this conversation is for you. You don’t need to hold everything together with a death grip. Sometimes grit looks like releasing the expectation that you should be able to do it all and building a life that works for who you actually are. Now go get your Gritty on! Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:  Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skippedThe Gritty Therapist  Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children CertificateThe Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy. Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

  3. Sep 22

    Therapist Confidence: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, Finding Your Niche, and Building a Private Practice with Carly Costello-Part 1

    What does it take to move through imposter syndrome, trust yourself as an EMDR therapist, and build a private practice that reflects your strengths? In this episode, we sit down with Carly Costello, EMDR consultant, private practice owner, and the therapist behind EMDR with Carly. Carly shares how she went from using Instagram to attract local therapy clients to building an EMDR consultation business and receiving EMDRIA’s 2025 Social Media Influencer Award. We have an honest conversation about taking risks, showing your face on social media, finding your clinical niche, and building confidence as a newer therapist. Carly also explains why many clinicians experience a difficult “hump” after EMDR basic training and how quality consultation and mentorship can help them move through self-doubt and begin trusting the EMDR process. In this episode, we discuss: Overcoming imposter syndrome as a new therapistBuilding confidence after EMDR training Finding your niche as a mental health therapistStarting and growing a therapy private practiceUsing Instagram to connect with clients and consulteesBecoming an EMDR-certified therapist and consultantTaking calculated risks in businessRecognizing your strengths and outsourcing your weaknessesManaging big ideas, ADHD, and the less-exciting “micro tasks”Letting go of the belief that you must specialize in everythingIf you’re a new therapist, EMDR clinician, consultant-in-training, or private practice owner who feels overwhelmed, behind, or unsure of your next step, this conversation will remind you that you don’t need to have everything figured out before you begin. Sometimes building confidence looks like doing it scared, posting it, and moving forward anyway. We created The Gritty Therapist to help other mental health therapists like us gain clinical confidence, crush imposter syndrome and connect within.  If that's you, share the show, subscribe and give us a review!   Now go get your Gritty on!  Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:  Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skippedThe Gritty Therapist  Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children CertificateThe Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy. Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

  4. Sep 15

    Addressing Lying in Therapy with Youth: Building Trust in Family Therapy that goes Beyond Behavior Charts

    When a child lies, it’s easy for parents and even therapists to focus entirely on stopping the behavior. But lying is rarely just about the lie. In Part 2 of our Behavioral Math series, (Check out Part 1 HERE) we explore how child and family therapists can look beneath lying, dishonesty, and other challenging behaviors to understand the thoughts, feelings, body sensations, attachment needs, and relationship dynamics driving them. We discuss why sticker charts, reward systems, and consequences may create short-term compliance without addressing the root of the behavior. We also share practical, attachment-based strategies for helping caregivers build trust, respond with greater regulation, and use less shame-based language with their children. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to use “behavioral math” to uncover what’s underneath a child’s behaviorWhy children and teenagers lie from a developmental perspectiveHow changing “lying” to “inaccuracy” can reduce shame and then reduce lying over timeWhy caregiver involvement is essential when addressing dishonestyHow attachment disruptions and trauma effect a child’s ability to trustA real-life homework intervention that helped reduce conflict and increase responsibilityHow EMDR-informed and relationship-based approaches create deeper, lasting changeIf you work with children, adolescents, parents, foster families, or adoptive families, this episode will help you move beyond managing the behavior of the week and begin addressing the relationship and the unmet need underneath it. Because behavior isn’t just behavior. And building trust requires more than earning another sticker on a chart.  Stay Gritty!  Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:  Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skippedThe Gritty Therapist  Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children CertificateThe Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy. Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

  5. Sep 8

    Mental Health Therapist Burnout: Warning Signs, Boundaries, and Burnout Recovery

    What does therapist burnout actually feel like and why can it be so difficult for mental health professionals to recognize the warning signs in themselves? In this deeply personal episode of The Gettin' Gritty for Mental Health Therapist Podcast, Cathy shares her experience with mental health therapist burnout, depression, emotional exhaustion, and the moment her nervous system finally forced her to stop. Burnout didn’t begin with one dramatic breaking point. It developed slowly. Cathy stopped reading even though she had always loved books. She no longer wanted to go out, travel, or participate in activities that once brought her joy. She felt tired in a way that rest couldn’t fix, but because she was still working and caring for others, she didn’t recognize what was happening. Together, we explore the often-overlooked signs of therapist burnout and the beliefs and behaviors that can push helping professionals toward emotional and physical exhaustion. In this episode, we discuss: Early warning signs of therapist burnoutLosing interest in activities you normally enjoyThe connection between burnout, depression, and nervous system shutdownEmotional exhaustion and feeling like you have nothing left to giveOver-responsibility and the therapist’s urge to rescue clientsWhy therapists may feel ashamed of experiencing mental health strugglesThe difference between self-care and true burnout recoveryWhy traditional work-life balance may be unrealisticSetting clinical boundaries without losing compassionOutsourcing responsibilities in your practice and personal lifeGiving yourself permission to slow down, seek support, and recoverAs therapists, we can care deeply about our clients without becoming responsible for solving every part of their lives. When we continually give away more emotional energy than our systems can hold, eventually the tank runs empty. If you’re a counselor, social worker, trauma therapist, private practice owner, clinical supervisor, or helping professional who feels exhausted, disconnected, overextended, or unlike yourself, this episode is an invitation to pause and pay attention. You are not infallible because you’re a therapist. Your nervous system needs care, support, and boundaries too. Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:  Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skippedThe Gritty Therapist  Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children CertificateThe Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy. Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

  6. Sep 1

    How Therapists Build Confidence, Resilience, and Courage Through Vulnerability | Featuring Jen Zorb

    In this episode of Gettin' Gritty for Mental Health Therapists Podcast, we sit down with therapist and entrepreneur Jen Zorb, founder of The Pearl Project, to explore grief support, meaningful human connection, therapist entrepreneurship, and the courage required to bring a deeply personal vision into the world. After years of working as a mental health therapist in private practice and a hospital emergency room, Jen found herself wishing she could offer people something tangible to carry home during seasons of grief, loss, transition, and emotional upheaval. That desire became The Pearl Project: a collection of thoughtfully designed mental health and bereavement gifts that combine therapeutic guidebooks, reflection questions, comforting sensory items, and meaningful objects to support healing beyond the therapy room. Jen shares the vulnerable decision she and her husband made to leave the security of their established careers and build The Pearl Project together. She opens up about overcoming the fear of rejection, learning how to market a mental health business, navigating entrepreneurship as a therapist and mother, and redefining work-life balance through the idea of “seasonal balance.” You’ll also hear the powerful story of how Jen challenged herself to collect ten rejections and how a conversation she expected to end in a “no” became her first business partnership and an unforgettable moment of grief, connection, and shared humanity. In this episode, we discuss: How therapists can provide meaningful support for grief and lossWhy grief affects the whole body and deserves more than superficial encouragementThe value of tangible, sensory resources in mental health and bereavement careHow handwriting, reflection, metaphor, and physical objects can support therapeutic learningTherapist entrepreneurship and transitioning beyond private practiceOvercoming the fear of failure, visibility, vulnerability, and rejectionBuilding authentic professional connections without feeling like a salespersonWork-life balance, motherhood, marriage, and running a businessThe difference between daily balance and seasonal balanceWhy human-to-human connection remains essential in an increasingly digital worldHow grit, courage, and perseverance help therapists bring meaningful ideas to lifeWhether you're a mental health therapist, grief counselor, trauma therapist, social worker, private practice owner, or clinician considering a new professional path, this conversation offers an honest look at what it means to create, connect, and keep going before you feel completely ready. Learn more about Jen Zorb and The Pearl Project at thepearlproject.com and follow @jointhepearlproject on Instagram. Because sometimes grit looks like opening up, allowing your work to be seen, and remembering that rejection isn’t the only possible outcome. Sometimes, on the other side of vulnerability, we find connection. Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:  Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skippedThe Gritty Therapist  Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children CertificateThe Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy. Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

  7. Aug 25

    Why Children Lie: A Trauma-Informed Approach to Building Trust Instead of Punishment

    Why do children lie...even when telling the truth would be easier and safer? In this “use tomorrow” episode, we introduce Behavioral Math, a practical, attachment-informed intervention that helps therapists and families understand what is happening underneath a child’s behavior: Thoughts + feelings + body sensations = behavior Using lying as a clinical example, we demonstrate how to walk children and parents through the thoughts, emotions, and nervous-system sensations that can lead to an automatic behavior. In this episode we also explore how lying may have once served as protection or a survival response, especially for children with histories of trauma, foster care, adoption, or disrupted attachment. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to introduce Behavioral Math during a family therapy sessionWhy therapists need to look beneath a child’s behaviorHow to help parents develop compassion without excusing harmful behaviorWhy lying can become an automatic protective responseHow punishment and constant monitoring can reinforce fear-based family cyclesWhy “setup questions” often invite another lieHow to move families from “You have to earn my trust” toward mutual dependabilityWays to include parents in treatment and strengthen the parent-child relationshipThis cognitive behavioral, attachment-based intervention gives therapists (both EMDR therapists and those trained in other modalities) a simple visual tool they can begin using tomorrow with children, teens, and their parents. Because when we focus only on changing the behavior, we miss the thoughts, feelings, sensations, past experiences, and relationships driving it. Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:  Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skippedThe Gritty Therapist  Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children CertificateThe Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy. Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

  8. Aug 18

    Why High-Achieving Therapists Develop Coping Behaviors: How the Primal Question Changed My Life

    Hey there! It's Stefanie with The Gritty Therapist. Before we begin this episode here's what I want you to know: this isn’t an episode telling you to stop drinking. It’s an invitation to get curious about the behaviors you reach for when your internal answer to your Primal Question feels like a “no” or a “maybe.” In this honest solo episode, I share how understanding my Primal Question—“Am I loved?” or “Am I wanted?”—helped me recognize my dependence on alcohol and ultimately helped me quit drinking altogether.  Alcohol had become more than a way to unwind after stressful days as a mental health therapist. It offered me a quick sense of connection, belonging, and relief from loneliness. I explore how therapists can absorb the emotional weight of their work and unknowingly turn to alcohol, doomscrolling, overworking, exercise, or other coping behaviors to escape discomfort. Some of these patterns may even look healthy from the outside while quietly getting in the way. In this episode, you’ll hear: How understanding your Primal Question can influence coping behaviorsWhy high-stress therapy work can leave clinicians vulnerable to numbingThe relationship between loneliness, connection, and alcoholHow I used curiosity and compassion to challenge my “kid logic”Why self-awareness matters for therapists inside and outside the therapy roomA practical reflection to help you identify what you may be using to find safetyAsk yourself: Is there something I’m doing to escape that helps answer my Primal Question with a yes and is it still serving me? Real talk for real-life therapists. Growth starts with getting gritty. If this episode connected with you, follow the show, leave a review, and share it with another therapist who needs to hear it.  Connect with us! Check out our freebies and our Gritty Academy for Provisional Therapists:  Therapist AF: The Gritty Academy, practical skills, nervous system grounding, and the reps grad school skippedThe Gritty Therapist  Check out our EMDR Therapy for Children CertificateThe Cord Where Science Meets Connection attachment/trauma-focused therapy. Follow along on Instagram @grittytherapist and go get your gritty on.

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As a mental health therapist have you ever been awake at 2am replaying sessions in your head, wondering if you’ve done and said the right thing? Do you ever feel isolated, overwhelmed, or unsure of your confidence as a clinician? Do you ever feel like you must be the only mental health therapist who feels this way? You’re not alone, we've been there too.  We’ve lived the long days, secretly thinking "I'm just not good at this yet. My supervisor would do a better job with this client." We've been through the draining sessions, and the silent car rides home where you just can't help from crying. We know the weight of secondary trauma, burnout, and self-doubt and we also know the power of grit, resilience, and community.  We're Cathy and Stef, two "been there, done that" trauma-trained, EMDR-certified, Somatic Experiencing-trained practice owners, and we created The Gritty Therapist as a safe space for clinicians who are tired of feeling like they’re the only ones struggling with confidence and imposter-syndrome.  Our goal: help you feel less isolated and more confident.    Each episode delivers real-talk, grounded in our own experiences with late-night worries, confusion and how we continue to grow our own grit and confidence. We’ll share the exact tools we’ve used to avoid burnout (and get out of burnout!), rebuild confidence, and stay connected to our purpose and passion. You’ll also hear from guest therapists who’ve walked through the trenches and discovered how to grow their gritty confidence while actually having a life outside the therapy room. Whether you’re holding space for vulnerable children, families, or adults, this podcast will remind you that you’re not alone. Together, we’ll explore strategies to help you become a more confident mental health therapist...all while keeping it real, compassionate, and relatable. 👉 Free resources + downloads: www.thegrittytherapist.com 👉 Follow us on Instagram: @grittytherapist

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