The Awakening Podcast

Heather Foy
  • 4.7 (3)
  • Religion & Spirituality
  • Updated Weekly

Join our Hosts, Heather and Tamara as they feature guests that have survived 'Religious Trauma' and the stories about that trauma and how they survived.

  1. Sep 9

    Jen Smith - When The Holiest Thing You Can Do Is Leave

    ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of religious manipulation, abuse, and leaving high-control religious environments. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with Jen Smith — host of the Unholier Podcast — for a conversation that feels like sitting down with a friend who finally says the thing everyone else was too afraid to say out loud. Jen's deconstruction story is one of survival. She navigated manipulation and abuse inside religious spaces, found her way out, and is now doing the slow, sacred work of figuring out what faith actually means to her on her own terms — outside the walls, outside the rules, outside the fear. But Jen didn't just heal quietly. She picked up a microphone. The Unholier Podcast was born out of her own journey and her conviction that women need spaces where they can be honest, messy, and real with each other. We talk about what led her to start the show, what she hopes it does for the women who find it, and why community — real, honest, woman-centered community — is one of the most powerful tools for healing there is. This conversation is warm, fierce, and full of the kind of honesty that makes you feel less alone. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Jen's personal deconstruction story • Manipulation and abuse inside religious spaces — and how she got out • Rediscovering faith on her own terms • The power of women coming together in honest community • What led Jen to start the Unholier Podcast • What she hopes her show does for the women who find it Connect with Jen Smith & the Unholier Podcast: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unholier_podcast 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@unholier_pod Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If you've ever sat in a room full of people who all agreed on the same thing and felt completely alone — this episode is for you. You are not too much. You are not too broken. And the women who have walked this road before you are holding the door open. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! Barrett and Zac host The All About Nothing: Podcast, discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac and Barrett host What The Pod Was That with Cari Simmons, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land. Check out Black White and Blue In the South, With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media

  2. Sep 2

    David Deane Haskell - The Truth Behind The Fiction

    ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of religious deconstruction, trauma, addiction, and inner child healing. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with David Deane Haskell — author, storyteller, and someone who has spent a lifetime learning how to tell the truth about what happened to him. David writes across two very different worlds — speculative science fiction that explores systems of control, power, and consequence, and raw, deeply personal memoir about trauma, addiction, and healing. But at the center of both is the same question: what does it cost us when systems demand appearance over truth? His healing memoir Wounded Angels is the book behind the fiction — the story he had to write before anything else could be written. After forty years buried under trauma and grief, cycling through creativity and addiction trying to escape, David found a path forward through inner child work, introducing the many suppressed parts of himself and watching them heal each other in real time. A revised edition is in the works, and in this conversation he gives us a glimpse of what that revision holds and why he felt called to return to it. We also get into his deconstruction story — what it looked like, what it cost, and what it opened up on the other side. This is a conversation about the courage it takes to stop performing and start healing. In This Episode, We Discuss: • David's personal deconstruction journey • Forty years of trauma, grief, and the path through it • Inner child work as a tool for healing and recovery • Wounded Angels — what the book is and why he wrote it • The upcoming revision and what's new in it • Writing speculative fiction as a way of telling the truth about control and power • What hopeful futures require of us first David's Books: 📖 Wounded Angels (healing memoir): https://mybook.to/woundedangels 📖 The Solarian Deep (sci-fi novel): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GPN8DBJS 📖 Emergence (free standalone novel): https://dl.bookfunnel.com/k7osg3nq37 Connect with David Deane Haskell: 🌐 Website: https://daviddeanehaskell.com Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If you've spent decades carrying something you were never meant to carry alone — David's story is proof that it is never too late to put it down and pick up something true. Healing is not linear and it is not tidy. But it is possible. You belong here.If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! Barrett and Zac host The All About Nothing: Podcast, discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac and Barrett host What The Pod Was That with Cari Simmons, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land. Check out Black White and Blue In the South, With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media

  3. Aug 26

    Ann Russo - From Seminary To Survivor Advocate, Building A Model For Healing

    Content Note: This episode includes discussion of religious trauma, LGBTQIA+ religious harm, purity culture, and the psychological impact of high-control religious environments. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with Ann Russo, LCSW — licensed therapist, theologian, founder of AMR Therapy, and creator of the Religious Trauma Treatment Model — for a conversation that is equal parts personal, clinical, and deeply necessary. Ann's story is one we haven't heard before on this show. She didn't grow up inside the church — she grew up in a non-believing, queer household and found her way into Christian faith on her own terms. But when she discovered her own queerness, the faith she had chosen rejected her. Rather than simply walk away, Ann did something remarkable — she leaned in harder. She went to seminary. She studied theology. She wanted to understand exactly what this system was, how it worked, and what it did to people. What came out of that journey wasn't a return to faith — it was a framework. Ann developed the Religious Trauma Treatment Model, a groundbreaking clinical framework that equips mental health professionals with tools to help clients heal from the psychological and spiritual wounds of high-control religious systems, reclaiming autonomy, self-worth, and meaning. (AATBS) Her forthcoming book on religious trauma recovery will be published by PESI in 2027 — and in this conversation she gives us a glimpse of what's inside it and what she hopes it will do for survivors and the clinicians who serve them. (AMR Therapy) This is a conversation about what it means to turn your own wounds into a roadmap for healing — and to build the infrastructure so no one else has to figure it out alone. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Growing up in a non-believing, queer household and choosing faith • Discovering her queerness — and having faith reject her • Going to seminary to understand the system from the inside • How that journey led to creating the Religious Trauma Treatment Model • What religious trauma actually is — and why it is valid • AMR Therapy and the work of affirming, trauma-informed care • Her forthcoming book and what she hopes it will accomplish • Resources available right now for religious trauma survivors Connect with Ann Russo: 🌐 Website: https://www.annrusso.org 🏥 AMR Therapy: https://www.amrtherapy.com ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@annrussolcsw 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/annrussolcswtheo 📖 Forthcoming book on Religious Trauma Recovery — publishing 2027 via PESI Resources for Survivors: If you are navigating religious trauma and looking for support, Ann's work is a great place to start: 🌐 https://www.annrusso.org 🧠 Secular Therapy Project: https://www.seculartherapy.org 📞 Recovering from Religion Helpline: https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/hotline Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If you have ever been told that what the church did to you wasn't that bad — this episode is your permission slip to disagree. Religious trauma is real. It lives in your body, your relationships, and the way you move through the world. And there are people who have built their entire life's work around helping you heal from it. You deserve that help. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! Barrett and Zac host The All About Nothing: Podcast, discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac and Barrett host What The Pod Was That with Cari Simmons, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land. Check out Black White and Blue In the South, With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media

  4. Aug 19

    Flamy Grant - Shame Belongs In The Closet

    ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of religious upbringing, LGBTQIA+ religious harm, deconstruction, and finding identity beyond the church. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with the one and only Flamy Grant — trailblazing artist, blistering vocalist, shame-slaying drag queen from Asheville, North Carolina (share) — and honestly, we are still not over it. Flamy's 2022 debut record Bible Belt Baby reached the #1 spot on the iTunes Christian Charts, making her the first drag queen to ever top the Christian charts. (LGBTQ Religious Archives Network) She didn't do it by accident. She started doing drag during the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown, eventually giving a sermon in drag at her affirming church — and woke up the next morning to a viral video and thousands of people saying "this makes me feel seen." (TODAY.com) That moment crystallized everything. But before the stilettos and the headlines, there was a kid in a pew. Flamy grew up inside the Christian faith, served as a worship leader for years, and lived inside the walls of a world that had no room for who she actually was. This conversation traces that whole arc — from religious upbringing to worship leader to the other side of those walls, where she found herself, her art, and her people. Her sophomore record CHURCH hit #8 on the iTunes Country charts and earned a 2026 International Folk Music Award nomination for Best Album. (share) And a third album is on the way. This is a conversation about shame, liberation, and what happens when you finally let yourself take up space. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Flamy's religious upbringing and years leading worship • The journey from inside the church to life on the other side • How drag became a vehicle for healing and truth-telling • Topping the iTunes Christian charts as a drag queen — and what that moment meant • Bible Belt Baby, CHURCH, and what's coming next • Making space for LGBTQIA+ people who are still in the pews Connect with Flamy Grant: 🌐 Website: https://www.flamygrant.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flamygrant 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@flamygrant ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbgBGjEcEXcLa074iQsBNig 📘 Facebook: http://facebook.com/flamygrant 🍎 Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/flamy-grant/1613002844 🎭 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/flamygrant Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If you grew up being told there was no place for you — in the church, in the kingdom, in the family of God — Flamy's story is proof that you were never the problem. The walls were the problem. And some of us are out here kicking them down in stilettos. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! Barrett and Zac host The All About Nothing: Podcast, discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac and Barrett host What The Pod Was That with Cari Simmons, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land. Check out Black White and Blue In the South, With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media

  5. Aug 12

    Poetry, Deconstruction, and the Art of Coming Undone - With Marla Taviano

    ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of religious deconstruction, white evangelical indoctrination, purity culture, and spiritual harm. This episode is part of our ongoing James Dobson series. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I continue our James Dobson series with a guest whose work puts language to exactly what that world does to people — author, poet, and artist Marla Taviano. Marla grew up in Middle America, all-in on evangelical faith — it was the center, the focus, the whole of life. (Gracefulatheist) She moved across the globe and back searching for God's will, and somewhere along the way she started asking the questions that wouldn't let her go. What followed was a deconstruction that touched everything — her theology, her politics, her understanding of race and gender and belonging — and she wrote every bit of it down in poetry. Her trilogy — unbelieve, jaded, and whole — traces her courageous journey through faith deconstruction, grief, healing, and wholeness. (Substack) Unbelieve feels like a reckoning with an evangelical past, the dismantling of racism, sexism, and homophobia in the church. (Tearsofeden) Jaded sits in the work left to do — saying the soft part loud, offering language for those in the wilderness trying to make sense of their faith. (Lake Drive Books) And whole celebrates rebuilding — looking back to move forward, new thoughts on God, embodied living, and the freedom to be your true self. (Amazon) Marla also creates stunning word art — her poems hand-crafted onto original illustrated pages — because some truths need to be beautiful as well as honest. This conversation is warm, funny, and deeply human. We loved every minute of it. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Marla's upbringing inside white evangelical Christianity • Her deconstruction journey — faith, politics, race, and identity • How the James Dobson era shaped evangelical culture and families • Writing and art as tools for healing and truth-telling • Her poetry trilogy and what each book holds • Word art — making truth something you can put on your wall Marla's Books: 📖 unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic: https://a.co/d/0iykmSKo 📖 jaded: a poetic reckoning with white evangelical christian indoctrination: https://a.co/d/03jtEV27 📖 whole: poems on reclaiming the pieces of ourselves and creating something new: https://a.co/d/09UE4PLS Connect with Marla Taviano: 🌐 Website: https://marlataviano.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marlataviano 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@marlataviano ✍️ Substack: https://marlataviano.substack.com Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If you've spent years inside a system that told you who to be — and you're only now starting to find out who you actually are — Marla's work will meet you right there. You are allowed to fall apart. You are allowed to rebuild. And you are allowed to make it beautiful. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! Barrett and Zac host The All About Nothing: Podcast, discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac and Barrett host What The Pod Was That with Cari Simmons, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land. Check out Black White and Blue In the South, With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media

  6. Aug 5

    The Traumatic Impact Of Dobson- With Topher Pavonine

    ⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains detailed discussion of child abuse, corporal punishment, and religious trauma. This episode is intended for mature audiences. Please care for yourself as you listen. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I welcome back a familiar voice — Topher Pavonine, survivor of John MacArthur's Grace Community Church, host of the True Crimes Against Wine podcast, and one of our favorite people to think out loud with. Topher is back for a reason. This week we are kicking off something we have been building toward for a while — a series on James Dobson. His teachings. His reach. The damage he left behind in homes, in bodies, and in the lives of children who had no say in what was done to them in the name of discipline. James Dobson built an empire — Focus on the Family, decades of radio, books that sat on the shelves of nearly every evangelical home in America — and at the center of that empire was a theology of child-rearing that baptized physical punishment as godly parenting. His teachings gave religious cover to abuse and called it love. Millions of families followed his blueprint. Millions of children paid the price. We are refusing to carry that story forward quietly. This series is about naming what happened, tracing where it came from, and making clear once and for all — abuse is not discipline. It never was. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Topher's experience surviving John MacArthur's Grace Community Church • Introducing our James Dobson series — what it is and why we're doing it • Who James Dobson is and how he built his influence • How Dobson's teachings shaped evangelical parenting culture • The theology that turned abuse into discipline • What it cost the children who grew up under those teachings • Refusing to pass that legacy on About Our Guest: Topher Pavonine is a survivor of John MacArthur's Grace Community Church and the host of the True Crimes Against Wine podcast — where true crime meets wine in the best possible way. 🎙️ Podcast: https://truecrimesagainstwine.podbean.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/truecrimesagainstwine Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If you were one of the children in those homes — if you were told that what was being done to you was love — we want you to hear this clearly: it wasn't your fault. You deserved protection. What was called discipline was harm, and you were right to know the difference even when no one around you did. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! Barrett and Zac host The All About Nothing: Podcast, discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac and Barrett host What The Pod Was That with Cari Simmons, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land. Check out Black White and Blue In the South, With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media

  7. Jul 22

    Recovering From Religion With Darrel Ray

    ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of religious deconstruction, religious trauma, and leaving fundamentalist faith. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with Dr. Darrel Ray — organizational psychologist, author, atheist activist, and founder of one of the most important organizations in the deconstruction and post-religion space: Recovering from Religion. Darrel grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home in Wichita, Kansas, and spent decades inside faith before leaving religion in his thirties. But leaving wasn't enough — he kept asking a question that wouldn't let him go: how does religion actually work on the human mind? That question eventually led to his book The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture, and to founding Recovering from Religion in 2009 out of a single monthly meeting that has since grown into an international 501(c)(3) with around 470 volunteers covering virtually every time zone on the planet. Today Recovering from Religion operates a helpline, a chat line, online support groups, and a global network of volunteers serving people at every stage of leaving faith. Dr. Ray also launched the Secular Therapy Project in 2012, connecting clients with secular, evidence-based mental health professionals. This is a conversation about what it takes to build infrastructure for people who have nowhere else to turn — and why that work matters more now than ever. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Darrel's personal journey out of fundamentalist Christianity • How religion works on the mind — and why leaving is harder than it looks • The founding of Recovering from Religion and how it has grown • The resources RfR offers to people at every stage of deconstruction • The Secular Therapy Project and why secular mental health care matters • What the post-religion landscape looks like today Resources from This Episode: 🌐 Recovering from Religion: https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org 📞 RfR Helpline & Chat Line: https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/hotline 🧠 Secular Therapy Project: https://www.seculartherapy.org 🎤 Darrel's Talk — mentioned in the episode: https://youtu.be/LnTtpnZfYfk 📖 The God Virus by Darrel Ray: available wherever books are sold 📖 Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality by Darrel Ray: available wherever books are sold Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If you're in the middle of it right now — the doubt, the grief, the disorientation of leaving — you don't have to white-knuckle it alone. There are people who have been exactly where you are and built something specifically for this moment. You are allowed to reach out. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! Barrett and Zac host The All About Nothing: Podcast, discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac and Barrett host What The Pod Was That with Cari Simmons, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land. Check out Black White and Blue In the South, With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media

  8. Jul 14

    Current Events and Recent Church Scandals With Tamara and Heather

    ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of religious trauma, church abuse, child abuse, physical violence, and disturbing content involving children in religious settings. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I are doing something a little different. No guest this week — just the two of us, taking stock of where we've been and what we've seen. We reflect on the guests who have sat across from us this season, the stories that have stayed with us, and the cumulative weight of bearing witness to so much harm done in the name of God. We get honest about what this work does to us — and why we keep doing it. We also dig into the news, because the church never stops giving us material. Steven Anderson — pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona, a man already banned from more than 34 countries for his anti-LGBTQ rhetoric and calls for the execution of gay people — is now facing abuse allegations from his own children. Four of his adult kids have gone public, describing closed-fist beatings, whippings with electrical cords, starvation as punishment, and years of psychological harm. Anderson's response from the pulpit? He called his children "evil wicked brats," prayed for God to destroy them, and threatened to quit pastoring if they didn't publicly repent. The institution protected him. His own children had to take it to YouTube to be heard. Pastor Tony Spell of Life Tabernacle Church in Central, Louisiana — who you may remember from his COVID-era defiance of public health orders — was arrested on June 23rd for second-degree battery after allegedly running across a four-lane highway to attack his 20-year-old neighbor. He bonded out and went straight to the pulpit, where he told his congregation he had "fulfilled the scripture" by "laying hands on the sick." Body camera footage later showed him using homophobic slurs and threatening the neighbor's father. A protective order has since been issued against him. His congregation applauded. And then there's Pastor Dewayne Walker of Mt. Olivet Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky, who apparently decided the best way to teach Vacation Bible School is to have men in camouflage carry air rifles into the sanctuary, simulate shooting someone in front of small children, and lead the kids in chanting "Take him out! Blow him up!" — all while calling it "killing the devil." The video went viral. Walker defended it. He called it a 32-year tradition. Multiple people came forward to say this has been happening since the 1990s, including one person who said they were removed from VBS as a child because they were crying too hard to calm down. This is what accountability looks like in the church. Which is to say — it doesn't. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Reflecting on our guests this season and the impact their stories have had on us • Why their stories keep us out of religious spaces for good • The pattern of unchecked power and zero accountability in institutional religion • Steven Anderson — abuse allegations from his own children and his response from the pulpit • Tony Spell — arrested for battery, went straight to church, called it scripture • The Mt. Olivet Baptist VBS gun skit — and what it tells us about how violence gets normalized in church culture Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If you're listening and wondering why you ever trusted these institutions — that's not cynicism. That's clarity. You were not wrong to question. You were not wrong to leave. And you are not alone in your anger. We see it too. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! Barrett and Zac host The All About Nothing: Podcast, discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac and Barrett host What The Pod Was That with Cari Simmons, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land. Check out Black White and Blue In the South, With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media

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4.7
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Join our Hosts, Heather and Tamara as they feature guests that have survived 'Religious Trauma' and the stories about that trauma and how they survived.

Information

  • Creator
    Heather Foy
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    48
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Heather Foy
  • Show Website
    The Awakening Podcast

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