Love Thy Neighbor Show

Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • 5.0 (180)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

  1. LTN 32 - Phubbing

    6D AGO

    LTN 32 - Phubbing

    Confusion over whether the show is called Love Thy Neighbor, LTN, or the relationship show Colette joking about being Double D and acting off the rails Marijuana drink jokes and therapy client humor Listener email asking why Colette works with Tom and Dan Hate listening and consuming content people claim to dislike Rush Limbaugh jokes and pain pill references Colette receiving backlash over a Substack article Dr. Laura and condescending radio personalities Colette struggling emotionally with criticism despite approaching people with empathy Discussion about emotional sensitivity and reactive behavior Colette discussing Zepbound and losing 30 pounds GLP-1 backlash and moral superiority from strangers online Family estrangement and therapists encouraging no contact Gray areas between toxic family dynamics and healthy boundaries People feeling personally triggered by nuanced discussions online Substack compared to Reddit and less hostile social media spaces Reddit described as emotionally toxic and rage driven Story about spiraling after reading criticism online Colette admitting she is too sensitive to read comments about herself Anonymous commenters attacking Colette as a therapist Tom introducing his Homeless Man Theory for internet criticism Comparing online trolls to unstable strangers yelling on the street Debate about therapy influencers oversimplifying psychology Therapy Jeff backlash and controversy over domestic violence comments Discussion about outrage culture increasing engagement online Marketing advice pushing hot takes for clicks and visibility Debate over ethical responsibility for licensed therapists online Younger generations separating online identity from real life identity Tom and Dan describing themselves as entertainers first Colette struggling because her professional and personal identities overlap Desire to step away from social media and live more analog Discussion about excessive phone use damaging relationships Story about nine hours of daily screen time causing arguments Comparison between phone usage and watching a movie every day Relief after accidentally leaving a phone behind on a boat Anxiety fading quickly once disconnected from notifications Smartphones changing work culture and personal availability forever Nostalgia for pre-smartphone office life and shared computers Attention becoming the main commodity in entertainment and podcasting Introduction of the term phubbing in relationships Phones damaging emotional connection and bids for attention Smartphones compared to dopamine delivery systems Couples scrolling in bed instead of connecting with each other Matt Heafy discussing sleep discipline and avoiding screens before bed Realization that downtime without phones feels uncomfortable now Suggestions for replacing scrolling with conversation or quiet time Fear that society is powerless against smartphone addiction Concerns about giving smartphones to middle school kids Comparing smartphone addiction to giving kids heroin Suggestions for delayed phone access and parental controls Frustration with gym phone zombies and public speakerphone users Debate over whether older people are more addicted to phones Questioning whether people truly need constant availability Story about a failed podcast upload during a 98 Degrees concert Anxiety from waking up to listener complaints about missing uploads Discussion about gray areas in family estrangement decisions Importance of communication before cutting family members off Parents sharing embarrassing stories and damaging trust unintentionally Parenting described as a top-down relationship requiring repair Concern that some therapists push family cutoffs too quickly Story about a radio host inventing conspiracy theories about management Discussion about the story people create in their own minds Technology removing emotional nuance from communication Texting described as terrible for emotional conversations Wife confronting phone addiction during family time Tit for tat relationship arguments and defensive reactions Going to bed angry and emotionally shutting down Discussion about shame and defensiveness when criticized Advice to get curious about emotional triggers instead of retaliating Plans for future talks about communication patterns and conflict Plug for The Cost of Quiet Plug for Insights From the Couch podcast Plug for Secrets From a Therapist weekly Substack advice newsletter ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    50 min
  2. LTN 31 - Flawed and Damaged

    MAY 7

    LTN 31 - Flawed and Damaged

    Reigniting relationship spark with affection, novelty, and deeper conversations Relationships becoming transactional with kids, work, and routines Reflection on separation and divorce during a South Beach birthday trip Relief and optimism after leaving an unhappy marriage Story of meeting a future spouse in a dirty New Orleans bar Fantasy vs reality of dating again after divorce Disappointment with emotionally unavailable divorced daters Criticism of people complaining about the dating pool while contributing to it Differences between divorced and never-married people in their 30s Everyone in dating carrying flaws, trauma, and insecurities Men struggling with vulnerability and emotional availability Emotionally healthy commitment-oriented men marrying young Avoidant attachment styles and love bombing narcissists Attraction to exciting but emotionally unreliable partners Joke about finding widowers at funeral home happy hours Women competing for the same highly desirable men Nice men getting taken advantage of in relationships Discussion about lifelong singleness and avoiding relationships Humans needing connection but varying in emotional needs Non-romantic friendships and family fulfilling emotional needs Story of a mother happily staying single for decades Desire for companionship later in life despite independence Men entering new relationships quickly after divorce or loss Wanting companionship and caretaking more than sex in old age Young adults avoiding dating and blaming financial struggles Relationship recession and society becoming less social Digital life replacing real human connection People forming emotional relationships with AI systems Reference to couples therapist Esther Perel and AI dating cases Criticism of AI constantly validating and agreeing with users Debate over younger generations lacking social confidence Story about younger people disliking cold approaches at bars Modern dating shifting almost entirely to DMs and apps Debate over approaching strangers vs sliding into DMs Thrill and adrenaline of flirting and face-to-face attraction Confidence and humor mattering more than looks initially Joke about funny men struggling romantically Fear of modern dating after a hypothetical divorce Height as a major advantage in dating Reference to Richard Dawkins believing AI may be conscious Discussion about AI companions replacing emotional relationships Comparison between cloning pets and recreating emotional bonds Fear of emotionally perfect AI partners replacing humans Concern that frictionless happiness removes meaning from life Gen Z treating relationships more like emotional investments Younger daters being more aware of toxic dating behaviors Ghosting, breadcrumbing, and ghost-lighting explained Intermittent attention creating addictive emotional attachment Comparison between toxic relationships and addiction cycles Humans struggling with ancient instincts in a modern world Comparison between toxic partners and addictive junk food Praise for Krispy Kreme Dots during addiction discussion Mention of Super Size Me and unhealthy cravings Discussion about GLP-1 style solutions for emotional cravings Mention of using Zepbound to reduce compulsive eating Advice to slow down emotionally before attaching to someone Warning against repeatedly taking back disappearing partners Investing in emotionally stable people over exciting chaos Therapy focused on communication and growth instead of fixing people Most people never learning healthy relationship skills growing up Emotionally mature people communicating clearly about commitment Couples therapy helping healthy relationships avoid dead-end patterns Discussion about tone, defensiveness, and nervous system reactions Avoiding difficult conversations damaging relationships over time Shoe storage fights becoming emotional relationship symbols Story about shoe cabinets and ignored sunglass boxes Repeated household habits creating emotional exhaustion Difference between respectful requests and nagging Advice to frame conflict around emotional impact instead of blame Importance of understanding over winning arguments Healthy communication preventing resentment and circular fights Joke that shoe storage may be the biggest relationship issue Promotion for the podcast Insights from the Couch ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    52 min
  3. LTN 30 - Piles of Secrets

    APR 30

    LTN 30 - Piles of Secrets

    Love Thy Neighbor rebranding discussion and tone shift Dan jokes about appearance, gray sideburns, unshaven look Beard dye trends and contrast of gray vs dark facial hair Ska band and exaggerated character comparisons Listener email segment kicks off after backlog Husband obsessed with Instagram coastal minimalist aesthetic Comparing real life to influencer homes, bodies, vacations Pressure on wife to match size 0 influencer standards Resentment over not affording influencer lifestyle Husband asks wife to get in shape for photos Criticism framed as creative growth, dismissing feelings Emotional disconnect and absence from family life Wife feels she is competing with fantasy lifestyle Social media addiction impacting relationship expectations Coastal aesthetic explained as beach chic Hamptons vibe Hosts react to absurd social media pressure on spouse Therapist angle on unmet emotional needs behind fixation Body criticism and comparison harming relationship trust Example of body criticism contributing to divorce Attraction, communication, and sensitivity in long term relationships Advice to have honest conversation about emotional impact Suggestion to find compromise around shared interests Balance partner interests with respect and emotional safety Reframing messy life as authentic and positive Social media lifestyles described as staged and performative Influencer content compared to curated family content Obsession tied to unmet needs outside relationship Encourage expressing loneliness and competition feelings Competing attachment where hobbies replace partner connection Examples of identity consuming hobbies and social circles Risk of hobbies leading to emotional or physical affairs Debate on control vs trust in relationships Focus on where emotional energy is directed Importance of restoring emotional presence in relationship Social media addiction fueling dissatisfaction and comparison Algorithms shaping feeds and attraction patterns Cultural shift in expressing attraction publicly Decline of catcalling and public objectification norms Modern expectations around respectful comments Debate on giving compliments appropriately Suggestion wife consider leaving due to behavior Reminder emails reflect one sided perspective Advice to communicate without blame and clarify feelings Miscommunication driven by tone and body language People interpret words through personal experience Importance of clarifying meaning in conversations Warning against serious discussions over text Long distance relationship maintained through constant Zoom Emotional exhaustion from nonstop virtual interaction Relationship fading despite constant communication Question of sustainability without physical presence Need for plan to reunite in person Lack of touch and intimacy weakening bond Digital only relationships not sustainable long term Spouse hides 165000 in student loan debt Conflict over secrecy and financial transparency Trust breach seen as core issue Debate over shared vs individual debt Secrecy more damaging than financial burden Hidden decisions compared to secret luxury purchase Pattern of hiding actions to avoid conflict Therapy insight on secrecy from fear of disapproval Importance of honesty even if partner disagrees Balance independence with transparency in marriage Secrecy creating bigger relationship problems Different views on full transparency vs privacy Emotional intimacy requires openness Some prefer limited knowledge creating different dynamics Show format note chaotic start advice middle humor end People avoid conflict due to partner reactions Importance of maintaining identity in relationships Encourage asserting needs respectfully The Cost of Quiet book mention Wrap up of relationship advice segment ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    47 min
  4. LTN 29 - The Kids Are Alright

    APR 24

    LTN 29 - The Kids Are Alright

    Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    47 min
  5. LTN 28 - Are They Into Me

    APR 16

    LTN 28 - Are They Into Me

    Show intro jokes about smooth opening and host banter Colette praised for wide range of talks and promo work Desire to do more public speaking but lacking demand Upcoming Rollins College talk on communication and conflict Online dating class with Wing Girl on sustaining attraction Focus on connection after early dating stages Zoom classes for global audience comfort Older men dating younger women discussion Ethics and realism of large age gaps Kate Hudson libido comments referenced Debate on biological attraction vs emotional connection Preference for partners closer in age Discomfort with dating very young adults Attraction seen as situational not always intentional Relationship dynamics vary by needs and personality Some prefer submissive partners, others reject it Attraction to confidence, intelligence, independence Questioning father-daughter dynamic relationships Acknowledging some age-gap relationships are healthy Transactional relationships can still include care Emphasis on consent and awareness in dynamics Self-improvement before dating others Be yourself means improve, not stay stagnant Importance of communication and social skills Difference between casual dating and meaningful connection Key traits: kindness, curiosity, attentiveness Thoughtfulness stands out in disconnected culture Attraction can grow from consistency over time Preference for steady behavior over love bombing Balance showing interest without overwhelming Emotional connection built through deeper conversations Listener question on knowing romantic interest Confusion between friendliness and flirting Physical touch as possible but unreliable signal Importance of emotional awareness and perception Cultural habits influence touch and behavior Signs of interest: leaning in, engagement, attention Difficulty reading signals accurately Friendships can evolve into relationships Friend zone debate not always permanent Rejection experiences and emotional impact Asking directly for clarity encouraged Clear communication reduces uncertainty Risk of changing dynamic when asking Better to clarify early to avoid deeper hurt Soft rejection phrasing suggested Attraction often immediate and subconscious Sometimes attraction grows, often it does not Courage needed to ask despite fear Rejection seen as useful information Clarity helps decision making in relationships Avoid situationships by defining intent early Vulnerability required for real connection Practice builds resilience to rejection Confidence grows through repeated rejection Humor and personality increase dating success Example of David Spade success style Nikki Glaser relationship dynamic discussed Non monogamy acknowledged but not preferred Open relationships carry emotional risks Jealousy and attachment complications noted Celebrity rumor: Mike Vrabel and Diana Russini Debate over interpreting public photos Physical closeness suggests blurred boundaries Environment adds suspicion to behavior New attraction visible through behavior Emotional involvement possible without cheating Gender bias in public backlash discussed Impact of cheating scandals on families Some couples stay together after scandals Controversy turned into career opportunities Monica Lewinsky reputation shift discussed Power imbalance in Clinton scandal noted Media bias against women highlighted Double standards in infidelity narratives Satirical take on defending male figures Promo for Fairvilla Megastore talk Topic: The Cost of Quiet and communication Importance of discussing sex and intimacy Taboo around intimacy harms relationships Encouragement to improve communication Closing jokes and outro banter

    46 min
  6. LTN 27 - Knowing Your Roll

    APR 10

    LTN 27 - Knowing Your Roll

    Love Thy Neighbor Show

    46 min
  7. LTN 26 - Listener Emails

    APR 2

    LTN 26 - Listener Emails

    Hormone therapy benefits include energy, sleep, overall health, and balanced estrogen, testosterone, progesterone Promo offer 100 off evaluation through MyEternalVitality with podcast mention Ghosting in jobs and relationships as avoidance of hard conversations Ghosting framed as self protection and discomfort avoidance Short term ease of ghosting vs long term lack of growth Ghosting causes psychological harm without closure Simple respectful breakup communication is healthier Practice difficult conversations to build resilience The Cost of Quiet concept in relationships Complaining about partners as common bonding behavior Difference between joking complaints and disrespect Complaining erodes trust and respect over time Triangulating by venting to others instead of partner Avoiding direct communication prevents resolution Emotional release reinforces complaining habit Possible addiction to complaining from emotional feedback Seeking validation replaces solving problems Group venting creates bias and one sided narratives Occasional support vs habitual partner bashing Protect relationship by addressing issues directly Maintain a strong couple bubble instead of public criticism Speaking positively about partner builds respect Public complaints damage emotional safety Avoiding hard conversations is a core issue Social media encourages oversharing relationship issues Illusion of privacy leads to saying more than intended Venting online replaces real problem solving Lack of communication skills drives online venting Cultural stigma around emotions contributes to avoidance Internet offers easy emotional release without resolution Communication skills improve relationship outcomes How a conversation starts affects its outcome Negative online content gains traction by attacking groups Listener email about emotional neglect of men during miscarriage Men expected to be strong and overlook their own grief Feeling unseen and unsupported after shared loss Male emotions often minimized leading to suppression Lack of validation leads to isolation and silence Difficulty expressing vulnerability after being ignored Miscarriage impact on fathers often overlooked People miss emotional cues or respond poorly Negative emotions outweigh positive perception Importance of one trusted person or therapist Therapy as reliable emotional outlet Friends may care but lack emotional skills Emotional talks make people uncomfortable Not everyone is safe for vulnerability Be direct when asking for support Suppressed emotions lead to anxiety and depression Therapy helps organize thoughts before conversations Avoid using friends as emotional dumping grounds Professionals provide healthier processing outlet Process emotions before communicating effectively Organized communication improves understanding Shared hobbies discussed as bonding tool Couples with shared hobbies seen as appealing Shared hobbies not required for success Separate interests can still support happy relationships Consider shared interests when dating if important Social media exaggerates shared hobby importance Attraction to different interests is normal Showing interest in partner hobbies builds connection Asking questions shows care and support Effort matters more than genuine enthusiasm Small efforts create emotional bonding Participate occasionally without full commitment Avoid over involvement that harms partner enjoyment Communicate boundaries around hobbies Balance individual and shared activities One shared activity can help connection Do not force participation without interest Partial participation is reasonable Listening to partner interests shows care Supporting partner projects builds connection Effort framed as love not obligation Offer help without taking control Ask how to help instead of assuming Mansplaining identified as frustrating behavior Over explaining can undermine partner Light humor about daily annoyances and household habits Promotion of relationship book on communication Mention of relationship focused podcast as resource ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    45 min
  8. LTN 25 - Reality TV Relationships

    MAR 26

    LTN 25 - Reality TV Relationships

    Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    43 min
See All (33)

5
out of 5
180 Ratings

About

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

Information

  • Creator
    Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    33
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Love Thy Neighbor Show

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