Love Thy Neighbor Show

Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • 5.0 (182)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Weekly

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

  1. 9h ago

    LTN 53 - Chivalry Mode

    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Episode: "LTN 53 - Chivalry Mode" Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, Colette Fehr | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads MyEternalVitality.com (Eternal Vitality, Dr. Robert Powers, D.O.): Ad read for Dr. Powers' physician-led clinic offering functional, hormonal and metabolic care: hormone optimization for men and women (testosterone, perimenopause, menopause), metabolic health and medical weight loss, gut health restoration, peptide therapy, nutrition and lifestyle strategy, and VitaSculpt noninvasive body recomposition. The clinic is at 4361 Hunters Park Lane, Orlando, with virtual consults available across Florida. Call 407-710-1840, or start with a Vitality Discovery Session or the 60-Second Vitality Score quiz on the site. Segment Rundown Cold open: losing his voice: Dan says he's coming in cold and losing his voice after late-night karaoke. Tom and Colette both say they love karaoke too. Upward and traditional dating: Colette brings up Upward, a new dating app that tries to bring back more traditional dating. The hosts talk about app burnout, ghosting, and how starting with a photo begins things on a fake note. Colette retells a secondhand story about a comedian on Trevor Noah's podcast who joked that people should walk around naked and "sniff each other out." Her point is that attraction is instinctive and almost instant, and a static photo can't tell you that. The Chick-fil-A comparison: Upward is rooted in faith but doesn't require it, which a host compares to Chick-fil-A, and the hosts riff on that. They also note that Upward comes from the same company behind Tinder, Hinge and Match, so it's really about reaching a different market. Chivalry Mode and who pays: The hosts explain the app's "Chivalry Mode," where the man messages first and the woman decides whether to reply. Colette recalls getting roasted on a California podcast for saying chivalry shouldn't be dead. Dan says he offered to pay when he dated Andrea, but he's fine if a woman wants to split. He describes watching a couple outside a pizza place where the woman waited with her hands on her hips for the man to open her car door, and he opened it rudely. His advice: lower expectations, focus on whether you hit it off, and if a guy offers to pay, just let him. Polite woman syndrome: Colette pushes back, asking why anyone should go against their own values just to make someone else comfortable. That leads to jokes about "polite woman syndrome" and Dan's "polite man syndrome," with Tom calling Dan "Mr. Compromise." Colette notes she covers this in her book The Cost of Quiet. Southern manners: Colette says she sees door-opening and offering to pay as politeness, not control. She realizes on air that both her husbands are Southern (her ex from Arkansas and Texas, her current husband from Kentucky). Dan describes growing up in a very Southern household (his parents are from Virginia), with church manners and holding elevators for everyone. He recalls a time in his twenties when that kind of courtesy suddenly seemed outdated. The hosts discuss the "if I pay, you owe me" trope and agree to give people grace about how they were raised. Traditional values and atheism: Tom says the phrase "traditional values" makes him scoff because he's an atheist. That sets off a running bit about him and his vegetarian wife, a "Captain Atheist" cape, and a crude joke about why he'd pay for dinner. Tom says he means evolutionary, human-connection values rather than religious ones. Fake profiles and AI photos: The hosts discuss profiles that read like padded resumes, outdated or misleading photos, and AI avatars. Colette doesn't understand posting photos that don't look like you. Tom compares it to how the internet rewards argumentative, attention-seeking comments, which pushes people toward ever more flattering fake pictures. How people used to meet: Dan explains he met his wife through a mutual friend and asked her out face to face, confidently telling her she was going to go out with him. He says just thinking about it still gives him butterflies. The hosts talk about the old vetting process, where friends and family set people up, and Tom's "hive intelligence" idea that the people around you are better matchmakers than an app. A chat member, Charles, says his sister introduced him to his wife 23 years ago. Upward's other features: Colette goes through the app's "marriage timeline," where users post when they hope to marry, and its "core values" matching. She likes the intent but notes people can say whatever they want on there. Post-COVID isolation: Colette says it's harder for her to get back out socially since COVID. The hosts note that younger generations now see approaching someone at a bar as rude, so there are fewer ways left to meet in real life. Love Is Blind new season: Colette is watching the new season and explains the format: dating through a wall, getting engaged, a month of living together, then the altar. She covers how few couples last and describes a contestant named Jack who froze at the reveal and later left the show. The chat says the guy looks like Quagmire from Family Guy, Colette thinks he looks more like John Travolta, and a host says Tom looks a little like Quagmire. "You'll be back": Dan recalls telling his future wife he still wanted to date around, and she confidently told him he'd be back. She was right. Kentucky Steve: The hosts joke about Colette's husband pulling up on a harvester. Colette says he grew up on a farm but gives off more of a nerd-and-finance vibe, and the big point in his favor is that he knows who Waylon Jennings is. Does looks matter? Tom argues Love Is Blind is a skewed experiment because the contestants want fame, and that falling for someone's mind could work with ordinary lonely people. Colette argues physical attraction still matters and a visceral "ick" rarely turns around. The hosts note Tom has been with his wife Crystal since he was 16. Colette says her husband first gave off more of a friend vibe, and jokes that he tore his bicep without complaining. She also reconsiders Jack's edit more charitably. Chat comments from Double Dag (looks matter less after about five years) and Just Jen (men don't like bigger women) lead Tom and Dan to say they're "pro-thick," with jokes about how easily they fall for people. The 36 Questions experiment: Colette brings up the 36 questions study. A host looks it up: Arthur Aron at Stony Brook, 1997, three escalating sets of questions ending in four minutes of silent eye contact, with a 2015 New York Times piece that popularized it. Colette ties it to her couples therapy work: gradually sharing more with each other is what builds emotional intimacy. Is love supernatural? Tom asks whether people treat love as something mystical when they can actually create it, comparing it to training your brain to crave exercise. Limerence explained: After a limerick joke about a man from Nantucket, Colette explains limerence: the obsessive thoughts, the butterflies, and the rush of dopamine, oxytocin and similar chemicals. It can attach to parasocial or one-sided crushes as well as healthy new love. She says brain scans of someone in limerence look similar to drug use, that the initial high usually fades after about 18 months, and she introduces the term "normal marital hatred." She jokes that her husband isn't allowed to chew in front of her. Her advice is to slow down, ask deeper questions, and watch how someone handles frustration and hurt feelings. Tom's marriage and vow renewals: Colette jokes that it's a miracle Tom is still married, now coming up on 20 years. The hosts joke about him renewing his vows on a volcano dressed like Boyz II Men, and about the superstition that couples who renew their vows end up divorcing. Colette's Italy trip: The hosts are pre-banking shows because Colette is going to Italy with her 81-year-old dad and her aunt. It's an immersive language trip to Le Marche, the least-visited region, on the Adriatic, with three hours of Italian lessons a day, cooking classes and excursions. The hosts joke about men flirting with her, "expresso," and the news about troops in Milan. Dan, as a girl dad, says he loves the trip. Colette teaches the phrase "non vedo l'ora," and Tom says his phone will translate everything for him. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Ongoing: Colette's book, The Cost of Quiet. Ongoing: Colette's podcast, Insights from the Couch. Ongoing: MyEternalVitality.com with Dr. Robert Powers. Call 407-710-1840. Hours are Monday to Thursday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Upcoming: Colette's Italy trip to Le Marche. Shows are being pre-banked to cover her time away. Next week: Listener email episode. Send questions to hello@lovethyneighborshow.com (all anonymous). Anytime: Leave a voicemail at 1-844-TOMANDAN and say it's for Love Thy Neighbor. Notable Guests/Callers No in-studio guest, phone-in callers or voicemails this episode. Charles (chat room): Says his sister introduced him to his wife 23 years ago. Double Dag (chat room): Says looks matter in the first few years but fade after about five. Just Jen (chat room): Says Love Is Blind taught her that men don't like bigger women. Unnamed chat member: Says the Love Is Blind contestant looks like Quagmire. Kentucky Steve: Colette's husband. He's mentioned throughout but doesn't appear. Sources: MyEternalVitality.com

    LTN 53 - Chivalry Mode

  2. Oct 29

    LTN 52 - Approaching Modesty

    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Episode: "Approaching Modesty" (LTN 52) Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads My Eternal Vitality (myeternalvitality.com): Opening read for Dr. Powers. The hosts cover hormone testing and HRT for women, which Colette has talked about using and which a host's wife is going through now. They also mention testosterone testing for men, perimenopause, gut health and peptides. A host says he's working on his gut health with Dr. Powers right now. Segment Rundown Open and intro: The hosts introduce themselves, and Tom says Dan has a modesty topic. Dan says he isn't eager to talk about it but knows he needs to. Dan's upbringing: Dan describes a relaxed, no-shame household growing up. He retells the "rat-a-tat" bit with his dad, a Mediocre Time running joke for nearly two decades. He says it faded naturally as he hit puberty. Then vs. now tangent: The hosts riff on how streaking, mooning and similar pranks used to be seen as harmless and can now lead to criminal charges. They agree it reflects society's changing sense of what's acceptable. The knock that started it: Dan's daughter Maisie is 11, just started middle school, and recently performed at a Winter Park high school football game. When Dan knocked on her door, she told him he didn't have to. He told her knocking is about respect, and that made him realize the transition is close. He says there's a double standard between raising a boy and raising a girl. Time for the talk: Colette asks what Maisie knows. She knows about periods, but they haven't talked about sex. Tom jokes that Dan short-circuits at the "M-word," followed by a "little people" M-word bit. Colette says Dan's instincts are right: Maisie's peers are already dealing with this, so she needs to be prepared, with privacy framed as normal, not shameful. Medieval Times tangent: An offhand "medieval times" line turns into a bit about Tom eating turkey legs there for lunch. Dan says his dad hated it because they seated him by the stables, so he was eating chicken next to a horse. Colette has never been, and the hosts pitch taking her and Kentucky Steve on a show outing. Daddy's girl bond: Dan tears up telling how Maisie said she loved their one-on-one time while Andrea was away on business. Colette says a dad's closeness shapes a daughter's self-esteem and even her future partner choices, and compares it to her own bond with her father. Nudity norms by household: Colette was relaxed about nudity with her daughters, though she wasn't that way with her own mom. Tom explains why he no longer lets his sons see him undressed ("dad-dong"). He says his wife stopped too once the boys started commenting. Colette tells her story of her five-year-old saying her bottom "needs some vegetables." The hosts agree same-sex parent and child pairs rarely hit this point the same way. Dan's nerves and Colette's camp story: Dan says this is the one dad topic that has him stumped. Colette tells how she got her first period at summer camp and mentioned it in a letter to her mom. Her dad then greeted her with an awkward "you're a woman now" line, and she was furious. Her advice: plan with Andrea, let Andrea lead if that fits Maisie best, and avoid moments like that. Tom's sons and the talk: Tom says his wife had the talk with their kids even though he told her not to. The hosts tease him for saying kids learn it "from the streets," and joke that he figured out how babies are made very late. Parenting adult kids: Tom asks how to stay helpful to adult kids without smothering them. Colette loves having adult daughters but feels the distance, with one in Hawaii and one in Atlanta. She explains why she won't guilt-trip them about it. She respects that one daughter doesn't want to discuss her love life, and asks "are you open to advice?" before giving it. She ties boundary violations to the current trend of adult children cutting off parents. Dan connects it back to knocking on the door as respect. Colette and her dad: Colette grew up doing her dad's hobbies: model airplanes, car racing, Giants games. Around puberty he told her she didn't have to keep going if she wasn't into it. Recently she told him she didn't want to hear about a stressful family situation, and he took it fine. Tom and Dan say they could never say that to someone. Conflict and The Cost of Quiet: The hosts bring up Colette's recent Fox 35 segment and Jason Sudeikis's comments about not speaking up sooner with Olivia Wilde. Colette explains the premise of her book: problems you avoid compound, so fix them "at the oil change stage." She says the average couple gets to therapy years too late. She distinguishes constructive from destructive conflict and shares research showing strong couples treat conflict as a team (the "couple bubble"). Tom's early marriage fears: Tom says that early on, every fight with Crystal made him assume divorce was coming, and he learned over time that conflict is just part of the process. Colette explains why disconnection causes anxiety. She describes withdrawers and pursuers (she's a pursuer) and how unresolved fights leave resentment behind even after they "evaporate." Practical tips and grievance bit: Colette's tips: stick to the one small issue (the Diet Coke can) rather than attacking character, take a pause, find something to take accountability for, and talk about your own feelings rather than "you this, you that." Tom jokes about his lists of grievances, and the hosts pitch an emotional boot camp for him. He says he prefers the mud-crawling kind. Dan's real-time win: Dan says he wanted Andrea at a recent comedy show but didn't guilt-trip her for staying home tired with Maisie. He admits he almost sent a text and didn't. Tom jokes that he'll do the guilt-tripping for him. Colette praises the self-awareness and compares it to not pressuring her daughter to move home from Hawaii. Plugs, next week tease and sign-off: The hosts plug Colette's book and free resources. Next week's topic is alternative and open relationships, and the hosts riff on "work husband" Tom bringing Dan hair product and a Copper Rocket story before signing off. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Recently (Andrea's business trip): The week of one-on-one time between Dan and Maisie. Recently: Maisie's dance performance at a Winter Park high school football game. Last week: Colette on Fox 35 talking about conflict resolution research. Recently: The comedy show Dan attended without Andrea. Next week: Alternative and open relationships with Colette. Ongoing: myeternalvitality.com (Dr. Powers: hormones, testosterone, perimenopause, gut health, peptides). Ongoing: Colette's book "The Cost of Quiet," with a free toolkit at thecostofquiet.com and colettejanefehr.com. Ongoing: Colette's "Insights from the Couch." Notable Guests/Callers None: No in-studio guest, callers or voicemails. Chat room: The hosts note female listeners in the chat relating to Colette's camp story. Kentucky Steve: Mentioned only, as a possible Medieval Times companion.

    LTN 52 - Approaching Modesty

  3. Oct 21

    LTN 51 - Colette Not Cool Kids

    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Episode: 51 Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads My Eternal Vitality: Sponsor ad read for MyEternalVitality.com. Segment Rundown Cold open: the apology. Dan nearly flubs the intro, then Tom apologizes to Colette for "ditching" her at a recent comedy show. They describe the familiar party move where you bring a new friend and then drift off with your old friends. The comedy show seating saga. The hosts walk through the night. A table had been reserved through Krista and Miles for Tom, Dan, Colette, Kentucky Steve and Tom's wife. Then they ran into old radio friends, including Jimmy (Jim Colbert, teased for his Tony Soprano linen look) and Jack. The group went in through the VIP entrance, which Tom and Dan both say they didn't want to do, and grew to a party of ten. The two leftover seats ended up away from the main table. Dan offered to sit there alone, but Colette and Steve took them, putting them in what the hosts call the "timeout corner." Steve was happy as long as he had a beer. Colette's take: no drama. Colette says no apology was needed. She quickly read the situation, didn't care, and would have said something if it bothered her. She jokes about being kept off the "cool kids table" and says Dan offering to sit alone was ridiculous. Dan defends that he really did want to sit alone. Host anxiety and event stress. The talk turns to why hosting stresses people out. Tom says he can't enjoy his own parties because he worries whether everyone is having fun, and says his wife is even worse. Dan explains that event season, with long calls with Tracy to cover every detail, weighs on him because he blames himself if anything goes wrong. Colette relates it to her book launch, where worrying about turnout and food took away from her own enjoyment. Colette's advice: letting go. Colette says anxious "worrier" types are often wired this way, but you can move toward more emotional freedom. Her tips: stay conscious of the pattern, remind yourself you can tolerate other people's disappointment, and remember you aren't responsible for everyone. Dan separates unreasonable complaints, like grumbling about lines at a free beer fest, from real dropped balls, like promising gift bags and not delivering. Colette agrees. Running bit: Tom mixing up "consternation" and "constipation." Elizabeth Holmes film: first take. Colette gives her review of the much-talked-about Elizabeth Holmes film from Lance Oppenheim and Nathan Fielder, which the guys also covered on Monday's ACT show. She argues it isn't really a documentary but an artistic think piece. The hosts mention a news report that Oppenheim is facing questions about using other people's footage without permission, and Crespo's recommendation of the film. The premise and Holmes's motive. Colette lays out the setup. Holmes invited the crew in one month after giving birth to her second child and 34 days before reporting to prison, and Fielder lived in the house with the family. Colette sees it as a carefully built rehabilitation effort and a launchpad for "Theranos 2.0," which the film shows. The pitch is that Holmes is a misunderstood, neurodivergent Silicon Valley visionary. The hosts compare it to tech "vaporware" hype. What the movie leaves out. Colette says the film skips the facts. She points viewers to John Carreyrou's book Bad Blood, the earlier HBO documentary, and Hulu's The Dropout. She describes Holmes's habit of dodging questions with word salad and calls it manipulation. She notes that therapists can't diagnose someone who isn't their patient. Then she goes through the documented harm: false pregnancy and cancer results, machines that didn't work, results quietly run on other companies' equipment, and employees who were threatened when they raised concerns. Neurodivergence explained. Tom asks what "neurodivergent" actually means. Colette explains it as a brain that works a little differently, with ADHD and autism spectrum disorder (which now includes what used to be called Asperger's) as examples. She stresses it isn't a negative label. The hosts talk about Holmes's unblinking, intense eye contact. Colette explains why sustained eye contact reads as dominating, and wonders whether Holmes and Fielder are both neurodivergent in some way. Layers of manipulation. Colette calls the movie fascinating and well made. Part of what makes it compelling is watching Fielder get pulled in and come to care about Holmes. Her Insights from the Couch co-host Laura even said she thought they might kiss. Colette sees several layers: the filmmakers shaping the story, Holmes working on Fielder, and the audience being moved by both. She also reads it as a commentary on being watched in the social media age. Trauma vs. accountability. Colette brings up Holmes's account of past trauma and her claims that former partner and co-defendant Sunny Balwani groomed and abused her. Some therapists have responded to those claims with sympathy. Colette says several things can be true at once, but people are still responsible for what they do. She argues that excusing Holmes infantilizes women and notes that Holmes shows no remorse. Tom asks whether we now give people too much grace because we have more detailed labels for conditions. Can someone like this change? Tom asks whether a lifelong manipulator can be rehabilitated. Colette says only if the person wants to change, and doubts Holmes does. She expects investors to back Holmes again. Colette says Holmes is reportedly moving to a halfway house soon and expects a follow-up film. Creative choices in the film. Colette points out things that shape how viewers see Holmes. The film shows a modest beach rental, while Holmes had recently lived in a very expensive home. It shows a drive to Texas for prison, when she reportedly flew private. Colette shares a story from Bad Blood: as a child, Holmes told a relative she wanted to be a billionaire. Colette's view is that Holmes is driven by greatness and power more than money, and wants to be the female Steve Jobs. Side discussion covers Silicon Valley "joining your delusion" and Jobs's approach to his own cancer. Gender and the "girl boss" angle. Tom notes that ruthless ambition in men is often admired. Colette says she champions women in business, but this is about someone harming others regardless of gender. She cites whistleblower Tyler Shultz, who recently warned never to underestimate Holmes. Her advice to viewers: see the movie, but think for themselves and look up the facts. Did Holmes like it? Tom asks how Holmes feels about the film. Colette cites a post-release interview where Fielder said Holmes told him she hadn't seen it yet but trusted him. Colette reads that as Holmes believing she had him where she wanted him. The hosts agree that a hit movie means "mission accomplished" for her. Wrap-up silliness. The episode ends with crude joking about Holmes's looks and "crazy eyes." Tom gets labeled "neurodivergent" by the others before the sign-off. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Recently: The comedy show night that kicked off the episode. Monday (this week): The guys discussed the Holmes film on the ACT show. Yesterday: Talked with Crespo, who recommended the film. Colette saw Fielder's post-release interview. Now: The Holmes film is in about 2,000 theaters with many sold-out showings, and streaming is expected soon. Soon: Holmes is reportedly being moved to a halfway house. Upcoming: Tom and Dan's event season, with Beerfest mentioned. Ongoing: Sponsor My Eternal Vitality at MyEternalVitality.com. Ongoing: Email the show at hello@lovethyneighborshow.com, including thoughts on the film. Ongoing: Colette's book, The Cost of Quiet, available wherever books are sold. Ongoing: Colette's other podcast, Insights from the Couch. Next week: New episode of Love Thy Neighbor. Notable Guests/Callers None in studio or on the phones: This was a hosts-only episode. Mentioned: Kentucky Steve (sat with Colette at the comedy show), Jimmy (Jim Colbert) and Jack (radio friends), Krista and Miles (handled the table reservation), Tracy (helps Dan with event logistics), Crespo (recommended the film), Laura (Colette's Insights from the Couch co-host), and Tyler Shultz (Theranos whistleblower).

    LTN 51 - Colette Not Cool Kids

  4. Oct 15

    LTN 50 - Since You've Birdgone

    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads Central Homes Roofing: Commercial spot (added in post). Segment Rundown Cold open: Combos for dinner. Dan admits that when his daughter's mother is away, dinner is a bag of Combos with a side of salt and vinegar Bugles. The hosts joke that oversharing on the show works as their therapy. Someone adds that pro athletes probably eat Combos for dinner too. Birdgate setup. Dan brings up the Kelly Clarkson "Birdgate" story after seeing Colette's Instagram post about it. The hosts note it's been all over the major outlets, including a hashtag built from her song titles, and agree that making the news doesn't make something important anymore. Colette plugs her Instagram handle. The Art of Play. Colette lays out the facts. Clarkson visited Art of Play, a high-end magic, toy and curiosity shop in Brooklyn co-owned by wealthy partners, one of them an award-winning children's author. The hosts take a side trip into overpriced whimsical wooden toy stores (Winter Park Village, St. George Street in St. Augustine) and tease Clarkson for saying the store looked "rad." The Pretty Woman post. Clarkson posted that staff side-eyed her when she asked about a bird on the wall and treated her like she couldn't afford it, comparing it to the Rodeo Drive scene in Pretty Woman. Her fans piled on, and the store's reply came across as snarky rather than apologetic. The bird is a $15,000 animatronic piece by a Seattle artist. It's one of only two in existence and is fixed to the wall, and the price really refers to commissioning one from the artist. Video and tone-deafness. The surveillance footage shows a short exchange, and the hosts see no body language that looks rude, only Clarkson's frustrated exit. One host calls it tone-deaf to complain publicly about not getting to buy a $15,000 bird while people are struggling. The hosts compare her outfit to the breakdancer Raygun and point out that everyone in the store was dressed casually. Perception is subjective. Colette says everyone filters interactions through their own mood and hurts. She thinks a misunderstanding is more likely, since the bird wasn't really for sale and staff may have pointed her to a cheaper option. She mentions Clarkson's recent leave from her show and her divorce as context for a possible hard day. A host remembers being locked out of a gold shop in Little Vietnam. Punching down. Dan relates to firing off a reaction, and credits Tom with teaching him to "give it a beat." The hosts discuss consequences: employees fear going to work, the store has received threats, and the owner said Clarkson put them in danger. They talk about the responsibility that comes with a huge platform and the ripple effects on staff, contractors and families. Colette wishes Clarkson had asked her fans to back off instead of going silent. Colette's review scars. Colette describes a bad vendor experience around her book launch. When a colleague asked about that company, she gave a measured answer, and he quit two weeks after joining for the same reasons she had. She also tells how a couple who never became clients left her practice one-star Google reviews after she held a boundary, and her rating still hasn't recovered. Fan backlash. Colette's long Birdgate video drew a lot of views and some hate from Clarkson's fans, who number close to 9 million followers. Shane Gillis and SNL. Colette taking her shoes off sets off a foot joke aimed at Tom. The hosts mention BDM show voicemails asking why they didn't comment on Gillis using the word "whore" on SNL. Colette doesn't love the word, but she argues comedians need room to try things and fail, and the audience's groan was the pushback. Another host says Gillis likely planned the joke and ties it to a gym sketch from his own show. They compare it to Jimmy Kimmel and call the all-or-nothing online outrage exhausting. Outrage as distraction. The hosts see celebrity gossip and outrage as a distraction from real life, like any other vice. They note that online communication loses facial expression and nuance and turns into blame, character attacks and tribalism. The relationship lesson. Colette's main point: when our feelings get hurt, we either swallow it and build resentment or lash out with blame. The better path is to pause, ask why it hit so hard, and come forward vulnerably so repair is possible. Tom questions Clarkson's intent: was she trying to buy the bird, or to hurt the store? Taking feedback. Tom explains that Dan is emotional and feels criticism as an attack. Colette plugs her book The Cost of Quiet, says she leans toward people-pleasing, and tells about setting a polite boundary with someone who then attacked her character and used her own book against her. She uses a restaurant-manager example to show that you can't control how people react, even to kind feedback. Don't turn off the faucet. Dan says he and Andrea have worked on this: even if his face reacts, he needs people to keep giving him honest feedback so he can get the reps. Tom admits he tends to shut down instead. The chronically late guest. The hosts use a hypothetical about Colette running late to discuss a former guest who was always late. Tom stopped Dan from confronting him, and they joke about not wanting to lose his money. Colette walks through feedback that stays calm and uses "I" statements to find a joint solution. She admits she's more go-with-the-flow, and Tom says he still sends Dan a courtesy text when he's running late after 20-plus years. The Wi-Fi password fight. Dan says Andrea sometimes hears attacks before they come. Colette shares a fight with her husband Steve that started when she asked for the Wi-Fi password for her new Kindle. She heard his question as criticism, they argued over who was yelling, then she took a timeout, came back and they repaired it. The hosts joke about whether Steve agrees it was a good day, and Dan recaps his own day of Old Navy, Ulta and Sally Beauty. Wrap and plugs. The hosts thank Colette, plug her Instagram and news segment, and sign off until next week. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned This week: Shane Gillis SNL topic covered on the BDM show, which prompted listener voicemails. Tomorrow morning, 10:30 AM: Colette's segment on Fox 35 Orlando. Ongoing: Follow Colette on Instagram at @ColetteJaneFehr. Ongoing: Colette's book, The Cost of Quiet. Ongoing: Colette's other podcast, Insights from the Couch. Ongoing: Central Homes Roofing (sponsor). Next week: New episode of Love Thy Neighbor. Notable Guests/Callers Colette Fehr: Co-host; therapist and author of The Cost of Quiet. BDM show listeners: Voicemails about the Shane Gillis SNL joke were mentioned but not played. Steve: Colette's husband, mentioned in the Wi-Fi password story. Andrea: Mentioned by Dan in the feedback discussion.

    LTN 50 - Since You've Birdgone

  5. Oct 9

    LTN 49 - Kentucky Steve

    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Episode: "Kentucky Steve" Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads No sponsor segments or ad reads in this episode. Segment Rundown Cold open: credentials check. The hosts list what qualifies them. One was forklift certified in the early 2000s, one is a Universal Life Church reverend, and Colette has been a licensed relationship therapist for almost 15 years. They joke about their UCF degrees: an interdisciplinary studies degree and a business degree from before the internet. Colette shares that she started as an English and communication double major at Flagler and finished communication at UCF. Getting a reluctant partner to therapy. Listeners have written in about partners who resist couples therapy. The hosts note the stereotype that men are usually the reluctant ones. Tom says he felt that way years ago with Crystal. They have been together 20+ years since they were teenagers, and he worried that going to therapy meant they were headed for divorce. Not all therapy is equal. Colette says some people resist because they had a bad experience before. Couples therapy done by someone without specific training can do harm. She stresses researching therapists and finding one trained to work with two people and two truths at once. How to broach it. Her advice is to be open, honest and vulnerable. Frame therapy around how important the relationship is, ask how your partner feels, offer to do the research, and ask for just one session. She says more men are reaching out to her than when she started, and many tell her it's nothing like they expected. Don't ring the alarm bell. A host admits he tends to treat small problems as emergencies and compares it to a computer crapping out before an edit. The group agrees that urgency triggers divorce fear. The advice is to raise therapy during a calm moment, not mid-fight or as a threat. Fear of being the bad guy. Colette promotes emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT), which is based on attachment science, as the evidence-based gold standard, and says it doesn't take sides. Tom says he expected to face his wife plus "her lawyer." Instead he found a neutral mediator. The hosts joke about him then trying to keep the therapist on his side. Life in waves. Tom says relationships have highs and lows, and the goal is to spend more time in the middle. Therapy can even out the extreme bad stretches. Colette talks about "raw spots" from past wounds and plugs her book The Cost of Quiet. She explains that people tend to pick partners very different from themselves. As a big extrovert, she has almost always ended up with quieter partners. Finding the right fit. Look for specific couples training, ask which model a therapist uses, and make sure both partners click with them. Colette offers listeners referrals if she isn't the right fit. A host says most therapists he contacted readily referred him elsewhere. Colette notes clients often say she was the only one who responded, and says providing referrals is an ethical standard. Role play: "the game's on." A host plays a dismissive husband who refuses therapy, then floats Zoom therapy as a compromise. Colette says she doesn't do consultation calls or meet-and-greets and prefers clients come to her office. She does use Zoom for clients in other parts of the state and through her coaching company. The 11th hour. When a relationship is really struggling, Colette says to get honest without threatening. She cites a stat that over 70% of divorces are initiated by women, rising to about 90% among college-educated women, which gets a joke about college. She describes men who are only ready to work on things after their wife has seen a lawyer. Her point: if a partner asks for therapy, they're still fighting for the relationship. Hard things are valuable. A host is complimented for seeing value in difficult things like workouts and long business hours. The group suggests applying the same reframe to relationships. Enter Kentucky Steve. Colette mentions her husband, who is in his 60s and grew up on a farm in Kentucky, and says he probably wouldn't have done therapy if he hadn't married a therapist. The hosts riff on the character "Kentucky Steve": tractors, quiet coffee on the porch, snapping beans. They declare it the episode name. Busyness as identity. A host brings up a clip from Insights from the Couch about work-life balance and retirement. He relates to staying busy as his whole "dad personality" and admits he doesn't know what "taking care of yourself" means. Colette ties this to "gray divorce." Divorce is down among younger people but rising for those over 50, often after years on autopilot focused on kids and work. Relationships as plants. Colette compares a relationship to a potted plant, or even an orchid, that can't be neglected for decades. There are side jokes about one host loving plants and hating succulents, and Colette admits she has a black thumb. Give it one session. The recap for reluctant partners: the hardest step is staying open-minded, and the session itself is usually easier than expected. Faking it on pop culture. Tom admits he often pretends to know about news and pop culture stories, including the Cornell story Colette had brought up. Dan says Tom has done this to him for years. They talk about how algorithms give everyone different news feeds. A host says Kentucky Steve's feed would be sports, like Ja'Marr Chase's concussion protocol and whether there will be baseball next year. Cornell fraternity case. Colette summarizes a controversial case: a woman identified as Jane Doe alleges a sexual assault at a Cornell fraternity party two years ago, after first describing the encounter as consensual. The accused men were also intoxicated, and one says he was the one assaulted. The hosts stress they don't have enough facts to form an opinion. They discuss consent, intoxication, bystanders speaking up, and the need for more education for young people. They also question an article that told women never to go to fraternity parties. Echo chambers. The group discusses why jurors avoid media coverage, how outrage drives engagement, and how men and women are being pushed against each other. Colette mentions online "decentering men" content. A host compares this to lawyers who see lawsuits everywhere because that's their world. The Lindsay Clancy case comes up as another example. Mob justice. The accused students have been identified publicly, lost jobs, and their families have received death threats. Unaffiliated chapters of the same fraternity are also getting hate mail. Jane Doe may also have been targeted, possibly by swatting, and a host explains what swatting is. Colette hopes for justice through due process. Restricting internet access. A host floats the idea of restricting internet use for people who harass others online, comparing it to firearm restrictions in some states and rules for sex offenders. The hosts aren't sure of the facts and acknowledge the free speech and regulation tension. Closing: back to basics. Colette says all of this makes her want to simplify life and invest in human connection. She calls back to last week's dinner table conversation, saying connection with the people you love is the best medicine for well-being. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned About two years ago: Timing of the alleged incident in the Cornell case. Last week: Callback to the previous episode's dinner table conversation topic. Ongoing: Colette's book The Cost of Quiet. Ongoing: Colette's other podcast, Insights from the Couch. Ongoing: Colette offers therapist referrals to listeners if she isn't the right fit. Next week: New episode of Love Thy Neighbor. Notable Guests/Callers None: No in-studio guests, callers or voicemails. The episode is the three regular hosts. Kentucky Steve (mentioned): Colette's husband, the episode's namesake. Crystal (mentioned): Tom's wife, in his story about going to couples therapy.

    LTN 49 - Kentucky Steve

  6. Oct 1

    LTN 48 - The Dinner Divorce

    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Episode: "The Dinner Divorce" (LTN48) Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads No sponsor segments or ad reads in this episode. Segment Rundown Cold open: intro debate. The hosts argue over whether they need to introduce themselves at the top of every show. Tom calls it pointless since listeners already know who they are. They float making a new intro with names in it for year two, to mark the show's anniversary. What's a food divorce? Colette talks about her recent news appearance on "food divorce," which is when couples eat separately and each person handles their own meals. She puts it alongside other trends like sleep divorce. Dan asks why those couples even live together. The Dennis family dinner. Dan says he and Andrea sit down to dinner together every night, while Maisie often eats at dance. He calls the ritual almost as important as sex because it's when Andrea opens up, including her project manager work gossip. He also covers meal kits like Home Chef and Blue Apron and his weekly meal prep for Maisie. Colette on connection rituals. Colette explains that shared meals are one of the few unstructured connection rituals couples have left. People who grew up eating as a family tend to keep doing it. She shares how she ate alone in her room as a teenager after her parents divorced, making prank conference calls. Tom at the head of the table. Tom's family eats together too, and he likes sitting at the head of the table. He jokes that nobody should introduce themselves there either. He complains that his kids share nothing, eat slowly, and ignore his celebrity stories (he recently talked to the actor who played Puddy on Seinfeld). Colette suggests word games to liven things up, and Tom says his car-ride games haven't gone well. Dan's date nights. Dan says he's recently enjoyed date nights at a local tavern known for crispy pizza, where he mostly just listens to Andrea talk. Quiet Kobe. Tom's wife took their youngest son Max to Hamilton at Dr. Phillips, so Tom took his oldest son Tommy to Kobe Japanese Steakhouse. The two barely talked all night, then Tommy turned on the TV as soon as they got home. Lots of jokes about the oil, the "double white" rice, and the aftermath. Tom also recalls quiet car rides with the men in his family, including a story that started with "one time I killed a man." Companionable silence. Colette reframes the Kobe night: small talk isn't necessarily more connecting than silence, and parents shouldn't feel guilty about quiet moments. Dan and Andrea both thought the outing was great. Dan mentions upcoming one-on-one time with Maisie while Andrea travels for work. In defense of food divorce. Colette says her household basically has a food divorce because of schedules. She wants quiet after a day of doing therapy, and she and her husband still share meals a few times a week. She also points to GLP-1 use and the mental load of meal planning, often carried by women. Her takeaway: do what works, but make time to be present. "What's for dinner?" prank. A host describes his favorite prank: asking his wife what's for dinner at her most stressed moment. It works every time. Email: friend in a scam. "Baltimore Beef Stew" writes about a friend putting $50,000 into an MLM-style unclaimed property scheme despite being warned. Colette says he's already said his piece. Adults have to make their own choices, and he can set limits on what he'll do if it goes badly. Florida Treasure Hunt. The hosts explain that Florida's unclaimed property site, fltreasurehunt.gov, is a real government website even though the name sounds like a scam. They guess the scheme is built around middlemen charging people for money they could claim themselves. When it's your money too. Colette says it's different when a bad decision will land on you financially, like an elderly parent you'd have to support. She shares that she once voiced doubts when her late mother gave money to a questionable religious organization, then let it go. Ask before advising. Tom admits he's a blunt truth teller with the people he loves. His example is laughing off the Grizz's AI-assisted spy novel, and his wife says he comes off like a jerk. Colette's fix is to ask whether someone wants your opinion first. She notes that offhand comments can stick with people for years, and that it's okay to say you're not ready to hear someone's take. Tom's coward approach. Tom says he nods, checks his watch, and then says "that's not going to work" after the person leaves. Also a riff on a past helicopter pilot dream. You don't have a crystal ball. A host says he often stays quiet and then watches things play out just as he predicted. Colette counters that she has seen couples she privately doubted turn things around. She says it's unethical for therapists to tell clients whether to end a relationship, and references Dolly Parton hearing her plans wouldn't work. Joke about the Nigerian prince actually showing up. Email: wife in a hard season. A longtime listener says his 47-year-old wife is moody and down on herself, their kids are about to leave home, one child is struggling, and she has open heart surgery coming up. His compliments aren't landing. Colette says it could be any mix of perimenopause, health stress, empty nest, or feelings about the marriage. She recommends a conversation, possibly a few therapy sessions, and simply being present instead of trying to fix it. Name your own experience. Tom riffs on everything a husband should never say. Colette advises using "I" statements, like saying you feel helpless and worried, instead of telling the other person what's wrong with them. Empathy between genders. Tom says he's glad he never has to go through "the change." Colette lists what women deal with, and Tom agrees men have it pretty easy. Colette warns against letting online anger, tied to a recent news story, turn into hating all men. Perimenopause 101. Colette explains that perimenopause can start in the 30s (a chat room listener said hers began at 39) and that 51 is the average age of menopause. Technically, menopause is a single day, one year after the last period. She shares that she's had few symptoms, and that a past uterine ablation makes it hard to tell where she is. Next week teaser and close. Colette teases a story about a possible perimenopausal outburst that "traumatized" her husband. Chat room member Ryan coined "Quiet Kobe," and Colette jokes her book's paperback will be called The Cost of Kobe. Plugs and sign-off. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Recently: Colette appeared on the news talking about food divorce. Recently: Tom's wife and Max saw Hamilton at Dr. Phillips Center through her season subscription. Year two: The show is celebrating its anniversary, which prompted the new intro idea. Upcoming: Andrea's work trip to Austin, Texas, which means one-on-one time for Dan and Maisie. Upcoming holiday (Presidents' Day, per Dan): Dan has a day off to plan an outing with Maisie. Next week: Colette's perimenopause outburst story. Ongoing: Insights from the Couch, the hosts' other podcast. Ongoing: Send emails to hello@lovethyneighborshow.com. Ongoing: fltreasurehunt.gov, Florida's official unclaimed property search. Notable Guests/Callers Baltimore Beef Stew: Listener email (made-up name) about a friend caught in an unclaimed property MLM scheme. Anonymous longtime listener: Email from a husband whose 47-year-old wife is going through a difficult stretch. Ryan (chat room): Coined "Quiet Kobe" / "The Cost of Kobe." Chat room listener: Said her perimenopause started at 39. The Grizz (mentioned, not on air): Friend whose spy novel Tom dismissed.

    LTN 48 - The Dinner Divorce

  7. Sep 25

    LTN 47 - Let's Talk About It Now

    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Episode: "Let's Talk About It Now" (LTN 47) Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads No sponsor segments or ad reads in this episode. Segment Rundown Cold open: rough restart. The hosts explain that last week's show was skipped because Colette had food poisoning. The opening goes sideways fast, and the hosts joke about starting over. Colette says she's fully recovered. Puking vs. bed-wetting. One host brags that he hasn't thrown up in eight years. That leads to ribbing about his past habit of wetting the bed after heavy drinking, which he says happened on multiple mattresses and family camping trips. TikTok vocabulary breakup trend. Colette brings up a viral trend where women quiz their boyfriends on hard words like "pamplemousse" and break up with them if they get it wrong. She calls it performative and mean-spirited, and points out there are many forms of intelligence. The hosts agree it feels like part of an anti-men strain online, while noting that women face real disadvantages. Is the man always dumber? The group talks about the classic TV trope of the dumb husband (Flintstones, Honeymooners, Simpsons). Dan jokes that he's smarter than Andrea, just less organized. The hosts credit their wives' smarts, and Colette notes that her husband Steve is stronger than her in some areas and she is in others. Dan says Tom is good at business math and at knowing what things are worth. Intelligence, success and ego. Tom and Dan say they don't understand men who feel threatened when a partner is smarter or earns more, and they joke about wanting to be "kept little dudes." Colette mentions that Steve was a proud supporter at her book launch. The group talks about how men still face more stigma for earning less, and how women are still judged harshly on looks. Giada and Dancing with the Stars. Colette tells how she and Steve were watching the new season of Dancing with the Stars. Steve said out loud that he'd always found Giada De Laurentiis attractive, then looked up her age and was surprised to find she's three years older than Colette. The hosts react to the blunder. Colette talks about double standards on aging, and about the late-night text she sent Steve afterward that got no reply. The group jokes that husbands can't win and that "everything's a trap." Feeling desired in a relationship. Colette explains why the comment didn't wound her for long: she feels secure that her husband is attracted to her. She says that in her practice, "my partner isn't attracted to me anymore" is a common complaint, and that it can feed everyday conflict. Validating feelings vs. arguing facts. A host admits he tends to dismiss his wife's feelings by stating "the facts" (that he's into her), which doesn't solve anything. After some crude joking, Colette advises validating the feeling first, then asking how you can show it better. Catcalling your own wife. A host shares a new habit: over-the-top catcalls and "damn girl" comments when his wife walks by or is stretching. His wife seems to like it. Colette says spontaneous compliments work as long as there are no strings attached. Tom and compliments. The group teases Tom for rarely giving or accepting compliments. He says compliments make him suspicious of being sold something. They compare this to someone who says "I love you" many times a day. Dan and Colette's friendship. Dan tells Colette how much their friendship means to him after 31 years in a business where close friends are rare, and mentions a heartfelt message he sent her. Colette says it brought her to tears. The group jokes about Tom's much less sentimental responses and a pretend "timeout" for husbands who say the wrong thing. Monday Night Football fight. Dan describes a long bedtime routine before a Rams Monday Night Football game, interrupted when his wife brought up a large, unexplained credit card charge. He shut down and gave her the silent treatment. It turned out to be a legitimate YouTube TV/NFL package purchase on the right card. He calls it a "clash of anxieties": her financial anxiety against his fear of letting her down. Naming the shutdown. Colette suggests naming the urge to shut down out loud and asking to revisit the topic later, or agreeing to push through if it can't wait. She shares a similar moment with Steve, who talked about prices at an expensive sushi dinner. The group agrees that asking "is this a good time?" helps both sides. Late-night bombshells. Tom says Crystal often hits him with stressful news right before sleep, like money running out by November, but he just lets it go and deals with it in the morning. Running out of things to talk about. Tom notes that long-term couples fall back on a few topics (chores, bills, future vacations) and suggests shared hobbies like scuba diving. Colette talks about the dopamine of anticipation. Dan says Maisie's dance schedule means a lot of trip planning that never happens. Colette describes her love of "what if" dreaming and how her more literal husband has learned to play along. Wrap-up: relationships are work. Colette sums up: anxieties clash, timing matters, partners won't always be on the same page but are still on the same team, and how you react often matters more than the issue itself. The show closes with plugs. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Last week: Show skipped due to Colette's food poisoning. Current season: New season of Dancing with the Stars, featuring Giada De Laurentiis. Monday night: Rams Monday Night Football game at the center of Dan's argument story. This football season: NFL package ad pitching about $30 a month for eight months. Thursday night: Episode air night (Colette jokes about telling Steve not to tune in). November 1: Tom's joke about Crystal saying they'd be out of money by then. Christmas: Joke about giving Steve a Giada cookbook as a stocking stuffer. Next week: Hosts promise to answer listener emails they didn't get to. Ongoing: Colette's book, The Cost of Quiet, available wherever books are sold. Ongoing: Colette's other podcast, Insights from the Couch. Ongoing: Follow Colette on social media at Colette Jane Fehr. Ongoing: Send anonymous listener emails to hello@lovethyneighborshow.com. Notable Guests/Callers None: No in-studio guests, phone-in callers or voicemails this episode. Chat room listeners: Mentioned as relating to the late-night money talk and bedtime-bombshell topics.

    LTN 47 - Let's Talk About It Now

  8. Sep 10

    LTN 46 - Pity Sex

    Love Thy Neighbor — Episode Notes - LTN 46 - Pity Sex Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, Colette Fehr | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads No dedicated sponsor/ad-read segment in this transcript. A supplement brand targeting low testosterone/low libido is referenced in passing during the discussion (not a formal read). Segment Rundown Cold open: double hello — Tom opens with an intentional double "hello," and the hosts riff on bookending the greeting. Middle age banter — Colette and Dan joke about being in their 50s (Colette close to 53) while Tom is younger; references the "back nine" phrase from a Peloton instructor to describe midlife. Wives running hot — A bit built on the double meaning of women "being hot," landing on hormonal overheating/hot flashes rather than looking attractive. Setting up the libido topic — Dan raises that hormonal changes often come with lower libido, and partly blames husbands for not being compassionate enough to help the situation, while admitting he doesn't always act on it either. "Taking one for the team" — Discussion, sparked by an anonymous listener email, of women having sex out of obligation rather than desire, and whether that leaves either partner satisfied. Male vs. female arousal — Colette explains men are generally ready for sex on short notice while women typically need an emotional or physical "warm-up," compounded by hormones, exhaustion, and modern overload. The "poke/jab" bit — A running comedic riff on how men signal interest, including a story about hiding/sneaking around the bedroom to avoid rejection. Conversation as an aphrodisiac — Colette says being present and curious with a partner is a turn-on; the hosts joke about zoning out during a recent date-night conversation. Normalizing the "sex talk" — Colette explains that bringing up a stalled sex life is scarier in anticipation than reality, and encourages couples to name it directly. Evolutionary tangent — A riff on ancient humans, sex tied to survival and risk (including pregnancy danger), versus modern comfort and much longer relationship lifespans. Dan's own experience — Dan shares that he and Andrea have talked openly about libido, including her hormone replacement therapy, and how communication ("putting in a trouble ticket," as a running show joke) improved things. Sex as emotional connection for men — Colette notes men are often misunderstood as wanting sex "just physically," when it's frequently their main channel for emotional closeness. Testosterone/libido supplement bit — Tom jokes about a sponsor-style ad claiming a supplement would make his wife want him more, doubting that premise. "Libido" running joke — Tom describes long having thought "libido" was just another word for an erection, including a bit about (jokingly) explaining it that way to his young daughter. Interest fading both ways — The group notes wives can also feel their husbands lose interest as they age, tying it to testosterone decline and effort put into making a partner feel wanted. Twitch chat question — A viewer named Jen asks whether a lot of men dislike their partners; the hosts broaden it to say resentment runs both directions, and cite that a majority of divorces are initiated by women, framing many marriages as being "ridden out." Mall people-watching tangent — A comedic aside about judging couples' relationships by watching them at the mall, with an acknowledgment that it's not a fair sample. Practical advice segment — Colette stresses asking a partner directly what would help, rather than assuming their lack of interest is personal rejection. Money and sex as taboo topics — A chat comment (from Dan's wife) that money and sex are the two hardest subjects for couples to discuss; hosts agree and joke about preferring to talk about vacations instead. Relationship maintenance — Dan reflects on once believing love just "happens" without effort, likening relationship upkeep to car maintenance; Colette introduces Dr. John Gottman's "state of the union" weekly check-in concept. Vitality and libido — Colette explains that feeling generally alive and fulfilled (hobbies, friendships, purpose) fuels sexual desire even when hormones are working against it, and validates couples who mutually choose to step back from sex. Email: "Hard to Finish" — An anonymous listener on Zoloft describes delayed sexual response as a side effect and worries about his wife feeling inadequate; hosts advise direct communication. Dan discloses he's on Lexapro with a similar side effect and how being upfront with Andrea about it removed the guesswork for her. Vulnerability and masculinity — Discussion of men's fear that opening up will make them look weak, with Colette arguing the opposite is true — vulnerability builds closeness rather than undermining it. Email: partner "pushes buttons" — An anonymous listener describes his wife escalating arguments until he loses his temper, then being blamed for the reaction; Colette advises taking responsibility for one's own reactions, communicating a boundary in advance, and removing oneself from a conversation before it spirals rather than assigning blame. Live call: Concrete Mike — Recurring caller Concrete Mike asks for advice on his wife's low libido during menopause; after some ribbing, Colette gives serious guidance on leading with compassion, asking his wife what kind of closeness she's open to, and considering professional help if needed. Outro/plugs — Wrap-up encouraging listeners to email or call in, with the show's regular schedule and Colette's book/podcast mentioned again. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Ongoing: Email the show anonymously at hello@lovethyneighborshow.com. Weekly: Show airs live Thursdays around 10am (schedule can vary). Ongoing: Colette's book, The Cost of Quiet, available wherever books are sold. Ongoing: Colette's other podcast, Insights from the Couch, available wherever podcasts are found. Ongoing: Listeners can also call in or leave a voicemail for the show. Notable Guests/Callers Colette Fehr — Co-host; licensed therapist perspective throughout the episode. Concrete Mike — Recurring phone-in caller; asked for advice about his wife's low libido during menopause. Jen — Twitch chat commenter whose question ("a lot of men don't like their partners") was read and discussed on air.

    LTN 46 - Pity Sex
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5
out of 5
182 Ratings

About

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

Information

  • Creator
    Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    54
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © T&D Media LLC - 2025-2026
  • Show Website
    Love Thy Neighbor Show

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