Love Thy Neighbor Show

Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • 5.0 (178)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

  1. LTN 20 - Annoyances

    1D AGO

    LTN 20 - Annoyances

    Coordinated show opening banter Colette forgets makeup and panics before recording Tom provides emergency mascara from truck kit Nearly hitting Colette in the parking lot while distracted Busy schedules and constant business work Mascara as minimum presentable look Keeping emergency makeup at the studio Expired mascara and pink eye risk Previous emergency makeup stored in Tom vehicle Fear spouse learns another woman used the makeup Jokes about trust and jealousy over shared items Hiding the incident and trusting audience not to tell Transition into long term relationship fatigue Working together increases irritation and familiarity Everyone has annoying habits and blind spots Over communication anxiety and being particular Questioning logic behind stories and actions Difficulty suspending disbelief in TV and media Logic driven vs emotion driven perspectives Emotions matter even when intentions were harmless Apologizing without defensiveness Listening to feedback to repair relationships Need for space vs constant communication Talking openly to maintain relationships Taking criticism without immediate explanation Attachment makes criticism feel threatening Defensiveness driven by fear of losing connection Amygdala hijack during arguments Emotional expression varies even in same family Personality wiring differences Genetic and environmental influence on emotions Emotions as biological signals tied to needs Share feelings instead of yelling or blame Validate emotions instead of fixing them Science based explanation helps logical partners empathize Emotional education improves relationships Complementary strengths balance weaknesses Traits that attract also annoy partners Passionate vs logical intimacy differences Humor about AI partners and sex robots Arranged marriages lasting longer discussion Unconscious attraction patterns in partner choice Repeating family of origin relationship dynamics Therapy helps change unhealthy attraction patterns Self awareness over chemistry alone Reconsidering tolerance for bad behavior Promotion of relationship advice book Audiobook narration quality discussion Practical communication tools for couples ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

    44 min
  2. LTN 19 - Chivalry Is Not Dead

    FEB 12

    LTN 19 - Chivalry Is Not Dead

    Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor with Dan, Tom, and Colette Fair Playful debate over old school chivalry and introducing women Promoting Colette Fair podcast and her book The Cost of Quiet How traditional chivalry feels awkward to younger generations Southern manners like yes maam and holding doors Bathroom door mishaps lead to installing occupied slider sign Anxiety over helping women with heavy boxes Chivalry anxiety and overthinking polite gestures Debate: polite vs sexist door holding Observing fewer door holders in New York vs the South Chivalry as dating charm and intentional courting behavior Holding doors for everyone vs gender specific gestures Performative manners vs real respect Kids questioning equality and why boys should do extra Mixed cultural messages about equality and roles Preferring chivalry in marriage over strangers Helping with airplane luggage as practical kindness Metro dilemma over offering seat to marathon runner Safer approach: simply ask if someone wants help Generational divide over manners and equality Colette appearance on The Tamron Hall Show Airing details across ABC, CW, Hulu timing uncertainty SoHo studio experience and traditional TV production Other shows filmed there: The View, GMA, Kelly and Mark Live audience of 110 receiving her book Scale of national TV production behind the scenes Pre show nerves despite long media career All day anticipation anxiety before live events Calm once actually on stage or on camera Similar dread before hosting live beer fests Public speaking fear as herd survival instinct Exhaustion from recurring pre event anxiety Accepting that stage fear may never fully disappear Using self soothing tools from her book Live TV pressure as on call expert Feeling thrown off by unexpected questions Topic focused on mothers in law and difficult family dynamics Applying romantic communication tools to family conflict Mothers feeling threatened by sons partners Clarifying language around moving on from parents Self consciousness under studio lights Fear of underperforming on national TV Post show memory blur and replay anxiety Spontaneous audience applause as validation Rising trend of family cut offs via social media culture When cut offs are appropriate vs avoidance Emphasizing communication and boundaries first Personal hurt from longtime friend during book launch Temptation to cut off instead of confront Avoiding triangulation through mutual friends Questioning intent vs impact in conflict Accepting shift in closeness without drama Redirecting energy to reciprocal relationships Never give up mindset can prolong unhealthy ties Middle ground before full cut off Trust built through repeated repair attempts Deciding to accept relationship as is or move on Cultural narrative of sons leaving mothers for partners Anxiety among mothers of sons after marriage Advice: be warm and non judgmental to sons partner Avoid power struggles and control tactics Positive example of respectful mother in law relationship Tamron show featured repaired and permanent cut offs Tease: what to do when you are sick of your partner Book plug for The Cost of Quiet and audiobook praise Invitation for listener emails ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

    46 min
  3. LTN 18 - LIVE at The Cost of Quiet Launch

    FEB 5

    LTN 18 - LIVE at The Cost of Quiet Launch

    Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor without Colette present Colette book The Cost of Quiet hits Amazon bestseller Audio from live launch at Mercedes-Benz of Maitland Professional production and full event program Feeling like misfits among polished attendees Jokes about BDM prize skunks chasing perks Being treated like novelty personalities at upscale events Riffs about fans spouses and addiction jokes Praise for Colette and continued collaboration Audiobook read by Colette and love of author narration Joke about alternate narrator Invite anonymous listener emails Colette gratitude to attendees and sponsors Book inspired by difficult first marriage and divorce Owning personal responsibility in conflicts Conflict avoidance as core relationship issue Quiet means avoiding hard talks not silence Fear of rejection driving suppressed communication Conflict framed as path to deeper connection Roadmap for regulation self awareness communication Self advocacy and empowered expression Writing easier than modern book marketing Growth through public speaking TEDx and new podcast Over 1000 books sold with traditional deal Push for presales and launch week visibility Sales about impact not profit Lessons made accessible and actionable Applies to personal and professional relationships Insights from the Couch podcast for midlife women Laura Bowman therapy focus on anxiety and midlife Menopause and perimenopause gaining attention Quiet quitting long term relationships Gen X women juggling careers parenting burnout Financial independence enabling divorce Women seeking deeper emotional engagement Emotional vulnerability key to saving relationships Rise of gray divorce led by women Self connected communication and inner mentoring Individual therapy healing underdeveloped parts Relationship with self as foundation Former office neighbors before podcast connection Humor bridging therapy and loud podcast world Love Thy Neighbor launched after guest spots Natural chemistry and balanced dynamic Humor engaging men in relationship talks Silent treatment and withdrawal as male patterns Work pressure limiting presence at home Traditional masculinity blocking vulnerability Tough guy persona tied to loneliness Regulate emotions not suppress or explode Podcast as informal therapy and growth space Praise for Colette work ethic and mission Charlotte McCullough licensed marriage therapist Media appearances on local news and TV shows Loneliness crisis inside and outside marriage Marriage cannot meet every emotional need Reciprocal friendships matter more than quantity Deep bonds over shallow surface contact Technology eroding in person community Men often lacking close friendships Balance togetherness autonomy and alone time Build friendships through small daily connections Schedule friendship time including Zoom hangouts Time limited prioritize loved ones Keisha Scott behavioral health and podcasting Guardian Recovery adolescent program Teen brain development and weak prefrontal cortex Social media nonstop comparison pressure Parenting pendulum from harsh to gentle toward balance Over parenting causing failure to launch Cost of quiet applied to parenting Avoiding discipline breeds resentment and risk Create safe space with real consequences Small communication tweaks transform parent teen bonds Teach expression alongside resilience Raise grit in a comfort driven world Teen mental health crucial for future wellbeing Initiate vulnerable honest conversations Difficult talks framed as care Change patterns by showing up differently Send safe signals to invite warmth Closing gratitude and call to apply lessons ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

    49 min
  4. LTN 17 - Levels Of Dependence

    JAN 29

    LTN 17 - Levels Of Dependence

    Love Thy Neighbor relationship show intro Colette Jane Fair as therapist co-host Colette Jane Fair book promotion and name spelling Easier book access at thecostofquiet.com Jokes about bad spelling and confidence Florida cold weather shock and routines Comedy song about being too cold Comparing Florida cold snaps to northern winters Liking New York but not winter weather Extreme Florida temp swings vs gradual cold Relationship awareness from doing the show Relationship content as emotional homework Keeping relationships top of mind Social media pushing relationship advice Dependence vs codependence confusion Partnership as a co-pilot in life Long relationships starting young Dividing responsibilities over time Relying on a spouse for life logistics Fear of helplessness without a partner Everyday tasks revealing dependence Men becoming dependent on wives Healthy dependence vs unhealthy codependence Healthy interdependence concept Keeping individual identity in a couple Respectful disagreement as intimacy Codependency roots in addiction dynamics Losing self to manage others Enabling harmful behavior to avoid conflict Saying yes to keep peace Emotional support as normal reliance Overlap between healthy and unhealthy patterns Common codependency examples Mutual enabling in relationships Taking responsibility for another adult Codependency outside addiction like work Early coupling increasing codependency risk Childhood shaping conflict avoidance Carrying patterns into work and marriage People pleasing to avoid upsetting others Asking a spouse for things without looking Laziness mistaken for dependence Humor about shouting for items Unnecessary everyday reliance Asking for help as a signal of distress Seeking comfort through minor complaints Noticing and correcting attention seeking Normal desire for care without labels Habitual reliance for simple tasks Laziness vs codependence distinction Overthinking reactions instead of speaking Avoiding direct communication Fear of asking for personal time Anticipating rejection before talking Weekend trip example of codependence Managing a partners emotions Thoughtful timing vs manipulation Naming fear instead of control Saying dont get mad fails Inviting honest conversation Vulnerability creating safer talks Avoiding hard talks as core issue The idea behind The Cost of Quiet Using discomfort to enter conflict Extreme avoidance as codependence Learning to tolerate discomfort Honesty may upset others Growth and relationship work is hard Difficulty as a sign of value Short term discomfort for long gain Conversations ease with practice Reactions often less severe than feared Introducing the 777 relationship rule Weekly date nights Getaways every seven weeks Vacations every seven months Skepticism about realism Adjusting date nights for parents Dates as intentional time Vacations as presence and unplugging Accountability through scheduling Couple time vs family time Blurring lines with one child Risk of neglecting spousal bond Need for partner only time Difficulty choosing dates over family Date nights feel different than family time Novel experiences boosting attraction Activities without emotional connection Surface level relationships Emotional connection over activities Conversation quality over cost Meeting needs through kids instead of partners Life organized around children Disconnection after kids leave Gray divorce after 50 Quiet quitting in marriage Emotional neglect over years Marriage compared to client maintenance Losing connection without communication Taking a spouse for granted Shortchanging marriage for work or kids Presence over rigid rules Intent behind dates and vacations Valuing simple shared moments Low cost memories matter Anonymous listener email promotion Listener story about chronic pain and surgery Dreading holidays due to limits Setting boundaries for well being Family pushing unexpected plans Choosing honesty over obligation Family reactions and acceptance Relief from quiet holiday Empowerment from self protection Kind honesty with boundaries Tolerating disappointment without self betrayal Catastrophic thinking about conflict Recognizing worst case thinking Holding anxious thoughts lightly Avoiding obligations by default Rest needs mistaken for laziness Questioning if hard always equals good Growth discomfort vs unnecessary suffering Internalized shoulds Not all hard things are worth it Choosing based on need not difficulty Honoring personal limits Deciding by capacity and health Saying no due to health or injury Emotions as boundary signals Desire vs fear of disappointing Difficulty giving self permission Habitual yes saying Losing self through accommodation Identifying codependent patterns Prioritizing others at personal cost Belief that suffering is required Work as coping Emotional suppression as strength Resistance to personal change Avoidance increasing fear Tolerating others discomfort Redefining toughness as boundaries Self honoring as the harder path Asking what you want Self focused wants feeling unsafe Balancing self and relationship needs Avoiding selfishness or self erasure Unclear personal wants Acting from obligation not desire Identifying as recovering codependent Physical anxiety before talks Honest entry into hard conversations Fears rooted in past experiences Talks less severe than expected Ongoing growth over perfection The Cost of Quiet book and release event Closing thoughts and future discussions

    46 min
  5. LTN 16 - The Power of Self Talk

    JAN 22

    LTN 16 - The Power of Self Talk

    * Love Thy Neighbor intro with Colette Fair and sold out book party in Maitland * Middle names used on air * Dan originally named Dan Lee before radio * Name came from college musician friend * Dan hated Dan Lee and changed it * Joke about Daniel Day Lewis * Colette knowing little about the hosts * Bear suit embarrassment story * Sudden shift from jokes to tragedy * Local therapist murder suicide case * Therapist client boundary risks * Story appearing in social feeds * Avoiding news for mental health * Garbage in garbage out media rule * Balance between news and sanity * After hours therapy attack details * Former client returning violent * Victim therapist Rebecca White named * Praise for her compassion and work * Specialized in offender treatment * Hurt people hurt people idea * Rehab versus punishment debate * Attacker criminal history noted * Therapist asked intruder to leave * Other client threatened 911 * Therapist and client stabbed * Client expected to recover * Attacker fled then killed himself * Suicide outside a church * Knife violence against women focus * Therapist workplace safety concerns * Colette no longer working nights * Husband staying late for protection * Violence against women ongoing issue * Emotional toll on therapist community * Invited to Mayor Demings forum * Florida ranked 49th in funding * Criticism of state priorities * Florida crime headline jokes * Open records and sunshine laws * Population growth adding pressure * Call for more mental health access * Crazy goes south saying * Florida penal colony jokes * Aging jokes and sideburn talk * Teasing as closeness sign * Mental health spectrum discussion * Addiction and illness as major issues * Extreme cases versus everyday struggle * Middle group quietly suffering * Job loss divorce depression stress * Fixing middle improves outcomes * Burnout culture and nonstop work * Fake perfect life online * Social media unrealistic standards * Deepfakes harming kids * Tech damaging relationships * Transition to relationships talk * Drive affecting a spouse * Husband joking stay at home role * Calm personality praised * Four beers test of likability * Not threatened by partner success * Living with driven people hard * Being too hard on self * Inner critic negativity * Lighten up advice * Fear of laziness behind criticism * Childhood roots of self talk * Rest as productive reframed * Burnout and withdrawal * Kinder self dialogue * Self compassion helps relationships * Difficulty accepting kindness * Sports psychology model * Forget mistakes quickly * Neutral mindset example * NFL playoff psychology * Brady emotional detachment joke * Success versus family trade offs * Some born for singular greatness * Attraction to driven partners * Smart women mislabeled cold * Support for partner success * Book launch consuming life * Post launch emotional crash * Planning future goals * Anticipation improves happiness * Planning small trips together * Novelty strengthens attraction * Listener emails segment * Frozen camera double finger moment * Listener praise for joyful start * Married out of league joke * Relationship listeners theory * Even good relationships struggle * Anonymous email call * Long marriage listener story * Autistic executive function issues * Pebble in shoe story * Always accommodating partner dynamic * Get my way credit question * You cannot bank compliance points * Case by case decisions * Communicate why it matters * I dont care restaurant problem * Engagement versus checking out * No transactional relationships * Asking directly early * Avoid resentment arguments * Reframing I dont care language * Helping brainstorm choices * Colette book preorder plug * Book on Amazon and Barnes * Audiobook coming soon * Episode close and sign off ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

    48 min
  6. LTN 15 - Handling Aging

    JAN 15

    LTN 15 - Handling Aging

    • Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor and Colette Fair as recurring relationship expert • Casual emotional check-in with Colette and jokes about free advice and "private" episodes • Shift to self-esteem, confidence, and how aging impacts desirability • Aging anxiety framed as more intense for women and tied to social pressure • Fear of no longer being attractive to a partner despite reassurance • Difference between venting emotions and partners trying to "fix" feelings • Logical acceptance of aging versus emotional resistance • Dermatologist visit and Botox history triggering aging realization • Shock of being presented with plastic surgery as a next step • Discomfort with crossing into an "old person" identity • Social media comments and viral posts amplifying insecurity • Double standard in how men vs women are judged for aging • Media careers creating stronger appearance pressure for women • Men aging seen as gaining credibility while women lose it • Question of accepting aging versus cosmetic intervention • Aging framed as a personal relationship with oneself • Importance of self-approval over external validation • Belief that long-term partner attraction is relatively stable • Discussion of younger men dating older women • Attraction framed as confidence, intelligence, presence, and power • MILF/older-woman attraction discussed with humor • Confidence repeatedly identified as the most attractive trait • Increased self-scrutiny from frequent media appearances • Anxiety distorting self-perception while others don't notice changes • Partners often indifferent to appearance fluctuations • Tension between preaching acceptance and living it • Men's aging insecurity expressed through health and career • Hip replacement and medical procedures as aging milestones • Humor used to cope with vulnerability • Fear of drastic cosmetic changes; openness to subtle intervention • Social media filters and celebrity comparisons warping standards • Celebrities' resources creating unrealistic comparisons • Pamela Anderson cited for embracing no-makeup aging • Cultural discomfort with women aging publicly • Confidence reframed as more attractive than perfection • Shift to divorce and Annie Duke's Quit concept • Challenging "never quit" messaging in marriage • Quitting sometimes healthier than staying • Therapist as guide, not decision-maker • No one-size-fits-all relationship advice • Acceptance that either staying or leaving can turn out okay • Emotional difficulty accepting uncertainty • Rejection of soulmate mythology; marriage as ongoing choices • Critique of praising endurance as moral superiority • Amicable divorce reframed as not a failure • Harm to kids tied to conflict, not divorce itself • Social stigma and pressure keeping people stuck • Listener email about praising a spouse publicly • Genuine vs performative appreciation discussed • Wife's follow-up email praising consistent effort over decades • Takeaway: small, consistent actions matter more than grand gestures • Relationship compared to a tire that needs regular "air" • Daily or weekly intentional connection suggested • "Bids for connection" like watching a partner's shows • Choosing partner needs over personal comfort builds closeness • Core self-check: are you doing what matters to your partner? • Promotion of Colette's book launch, The Cost of Quiet • Event details: Thursday the 29th, 5:30–7:30 PM, Maitland Mercedes-Benz • Live podcast, food, drinks, community vibe, limited tickets • Book theme: avoiding hard conversations damages relationships • Growth framed as choosing hard effort over easy avoidance • Closing remarks and sign-off ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show – A Mediocre Time Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    48 min
  7. LTN 14 - Purpose Anxiety

    JAN 8

    LTN 14 - Purpose Anxiety

    • Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor with relationship therapist Colette Fair • Colette managing stress while preparing for The Cost of Quiet book launch • Announcement of The Cost of Quiet launch event at Maitland Mercedes-Benz • Event details: date, time, location, ticket includes a copy of the book • Framing the launch as both a book release and a community gathering • Loneliness discussed as a widespread modern issue • Feeling lonely even within families and long-term relationships • Humor about hiding in the bathroom for quiet time • Phones and constant distraction worsening disconnection • Live podcast recording planned at the launch event • Meet-and-greet with hosts and attendees • Food, drinks, and relaxed, low-pressure atmosphere emphasized • Event positioned as an easy entry point to relationship work • Participation from local therapists and community voices • Focus on improving connection and reducing loneliness • Communication breakdowns linked to phones and social media • Ticket info shared via website, show notes, and live chat • Giveaway of 10 free tickets with email entry instructions • Encouragement for longtime listeners and newcomers alike • Listener email praising the show and a long, happy marriage • Discussion of attraction and intimacy growing over time • Question of whether partners value being praised publicly • Importance of expressing appreciation beyond generic compliments • Hosts affirm appreciation as rare and essential for relationship health • Daily emotional check-ins encouraged over routine small talk • Using specific appreciation during check-ins • Small household efforts as meaningful signs of care • Feeling "seen" through acknowledgment of little things • Research showing many positives needed to outweigh negatives • Couples overfocusing on complaints under stress • Balancing grievances with gratitude and affirmation • Limits of love languages and pressure to self-label • Most people still enjoying praise even if they claim otherwise • Compliments about effort, attraction, and appearance matter • Men and women both valuing being told they look good • Compliments boosting confidence in partners and children • Kids learning affirmation through modeled behavior • Discussion of whether too much praise can feel smothering • Difference between healthy appreciation and unhealthy overdoing it • Encouragement to ask partners how they prefer to feel loved • Public praise versus private appreciation preferences • Teasing and joking as long-term bonding dynamics • Humor, hazing, and exaggeration as signs of emotional security • Reinforcing that genuine appreciation is usually welcomed • Introduction of purpose anxiety and pressure to "find your purpose" • Reframing purpose as small, evolving, and practical • Careers often developing without a clear master plan • Feeling trapped in unfulfilling work contributing to loneliness • Advice to seek small joys instead of drastic life changes • Accepting that even meaningful work still includes stress • Finding meaning outside of work when necessary • Hobbies and side interests potentially growing into fulfillment • Parenting parallels about finding positives in disliked activities • Ballet discipline example showing delayed appreciation • Love languages explained as tools, not science • Overview of quality time, acts of service, touch, words, and gifts • Emphasis on asking directly what makes a partner feel loved • Alone time recognized as a valid emotional need • Mental load carried by women in families highlighted • Importance of noticing invisible planning and emotional labor • Encouraging proactive support rather than assumptions • Transition to dating after divorce in your 40s • Anxiety about modern dating norms and apps • Dating apps described as discouraging and dehumanizing • Encouragement toward low-pressure, in-person dates • Digital chemistry often failing to translate in real life • Normalizing awkwardness when reentering dating • Rebuilding social confidence through friendships • Reassurance that kind, stable partners are in demand • Emphasis on human need for real connection over technology • Invitation to the book launch as a social, organic meet opportunity • Reminder of free ticket giveaway and confirmation process • Lighthearted humor, optimism, and closing thanks ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Where to Find the Show – A Mediocre Time Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) Google Podcasts [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration) Merch [https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

    46 min
  8. LTN 13 - 20Thousand Dollar Day

    12/25/2025

    LTN 13 - 20Thousand Dollar Day

    • Love Thy Neighbor introduced as a relationship show focused on growth • Financial stress framed with humor about offering creative services • New year positioned as a moment for relationship reflection, not reinvention • Focus on small, attainable changes over drastic relationship overhauls • Comparison between extreme diet resolutions and unrealistic relationship goals • Small, consistent actions compounding over time • All-or-nothing resolutions setting people up for failure • Behavior change compared to habit-building and voting • New year not magically changing real life circumstances • Couples feeling stuck in familiar routines • Encouragement to carve out a few focused minutes daily for connection • Disconnection driven by exhaustion, work pressure, finances, and parenting • Numbing out with phones and screens instead of connecting • Daily ritual of sharing emotions, appreciation, and struggles • Naming emotions as a tool for deeper connection • Research showing many positives are needed to offset negatives • Quality of time valued over quantity • Sharing inner experiences reducing mind-reading and guessing • Importance of routine and consistency in relationship habits • Couples compared to distracted roommates orbiting each other • Need to reserve energy specifically for the relationship • Weekly small gestures like notes or tokens of care • Using reminders and pre-planning to support follow-through • Treating relationship effort like scheduled work • Humor about effort tied to desired outcomes • Tension between authentic connection and transactional gestures • Gestures lacking emotional presence not landing • Relationship growth compared to fitness results over time • Question of how to measure relationship progress • Difference between real effort and going through the motions • Gestures needing to match what matters to a specific partner • Differences in love languages and meaning • Preference for emotional openness over physical tokens for some • Compliments and physical affection as impactful gestures • Reminders to show affection not inherently fake • Warning against replacing communication with gestures • Encouragement to share emotionally even when uncomfortable • Surface gestures compared to shortcuts versus deeper work • Presence and emotional connection emphasized as core tools • Teasing acknowledgment of personal blind spots • Preparing mentally and physically for a second hip replacement • Cutting out alcohol ahead of surgery for health • Alcohol used as an unhealthy coping tool for anxiety • Distinction between casual drinking and substance use disorder • Lower threshold for substance misuse than assumed • Alcohol described as a neurotoxin with no safe level • Cultural shift away from alcohol and toward alternatives • Need to replace alcohol with healthier coping strategies • Short-term relief versus long-term harm from drinking • Personal experience of intense but fleeting relief from alcohol • Pattern of diminishing returns from drinking • Drinking framed as human but flawed coping • Anxiety-driven drinking during stressful events • Introduction of mindfulness as an alternative • Mindfulness defined as present awareness without judgment • Short practices still offering benefits • Mindfulness as accessible, low-effort support • Ongoing struggle despite long-term practice • Emphasis on honesty when discussing coping • Resistance to meditation due to restlessness • Gradual improvement coping without substances • Mention of mindfulness and meditation apps • Pairing mindfulness with journaling • Skepticism toward prescribed self-help routines • Research supporting gratitude practices • Gratitude linked to mood, longevity, and reduced anxiety • Structured tools making gratitude easier • Spoken gratitude as an alternative to writing • Simple practice of naming three good things • Gratitude countering negativity bias • Clarifying gratitude is not toxic positivity • Difficulty sustaining gratitude habits • Teaching gratitude to children • Kids defaulting to repetitive gratitude answers • Gratitude through future perspective-taking • Imagining paying to relive ordinary days • Reframing everyday life as valuable from the future • Gratitude tied to aging, loss, and impermanence • "$20,000 day" mindset for appreciating the present • Holding hardship and gratitude at the same time • Reframing daily inconveniences as meaningful moments • Joy found by noticing good amid stress • Viktor Frankl and meaning through suffering • Meaning and kindness even in extreme hardship • Mental stability through intentional awareness • Regret over not appreciating health and family sooner • Alcohol falsely creating a sense of slowed time • Gratitude mimicking that effect in a healthier way • Writing reinforcing memory and presence • Gratitude creating longer-lasting emotional boosts than alcohol • Learning appreciation without substances • Mindfulness and gratitude as trainable skills • Guilt around slowing down • Cultural pressure toward constant productivity • Life feeling like something to get through • Stress from always focusing on what's next • Chronic busyness driving mental overload • Value of micro-doses of mindfulness and gratitude • Small efforts producing real benefits • Breathing and presence as efficient investments • Practices improving through repetition • Mindfulness compared to religious prayer • Prayer framed as structured reflection and gratitude • Psychological reasons for religion's durability • Step-by-step explanation request for the $20,000 day idea • Using memories of children's early years for perspective • Recognizing mundane days as valuable in hindsight • Assigning value to ordinary life moments • Viewing today as a future memory worth protecting • Perspective shifts as a gratitude tool • Applying the idea to career stress and milestones • Pressure-filled moments reframed as achievements • Gratitude rooted in perspective, not denial • Positive feedback reinforcing emotional openness • Difficulty receiving compliments • Preference for perspective-based gratitude methods • Different gratitude approaches working for different people • Reminder that today's stress may be tomorrow's memory • Mortality clarifying what matters • Acknowledging illness while valuing being alive • Baseline gratitude for existence • Risk of gratitude invalidating pain when imposed • Letting people arrive at gratitude on their own • Distinguishing validation from minimizing pain • All pain treated as valid • Gratitude framed as internal, not corrective • Small, imperfect efforts still matter • Progress not requiring perfection • Car rides as built-in reflection time • Associating driving with appreciation for family • Kids remembering ordinary moments over big trips • Emotional realization about everyday presence • Humor about what kids will remember • Reflection on smoking as a past coping tool • Normalization of cigarettes in childhood • Substances framed as emotional crutches • Reduced need for crutches with healthier habits • Simple, repeatable habits replacing unhealthy coping • Personal growth indirectly improving relationships • Promotion of a book on difficult conversations and secure love • Applying relationship skills inward • Book release date and preorder announcement • Invitation to live book launch event • Live podcast recording and in-person interaction • Event location and venue details • Episode wrap-up and closing ###

    44 min
See All (21)

5
out of 5
178 Ratings

About

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

Information

  • Creator
    Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    21
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Love Thy Neighbor Show

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