Love Thy Neighbor Show

Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • 5.0 (177)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

  1. LTN 13 - 20Thousand Dollar Day

    11H AGO

    LTN 13 - 20Thousand Dollar Day

    • Love Thy Neighbor introduced as a relationship show focused on growth • Financial stress framed with humor about offering creative services • New year positioned as a moment for relationship reflection, not reinvention • Focus on small, attainable changes over drastic relationship overhauls • Comparison between extreme diet resolutions and unrealistic relationship goals • Small, consistent actions compounding over time • All-or-nothing resolutions setting people up for failure • Behavior change compared to habit-building and voting • New year not magically changing real life circumstances • Couples feeling stuck in familiar routines • Encouragement to carve out a few focused minutes daily for connection • Disconnection driven by exhaustion, work pressure, finances, and parenting • Numbing out with phones and screens instead of connecting • Daily ritual of sharing emotions, appreciation, and struggles • Naming emotions as a tool for deeper connection • Research showing many positives are needed to offset negatives • Quality of time valued over quantity • Sharing inner experiences reducing mind-reading and guessing • Importance of routine and consistency in relationship habits • Couples compared to distracted roommates orbiting each other • Need to reserve energy specifically for the relationship • Weekly small gestures like notes or tokens of care • Using reminders and pre-planning to support follow-through • Treating relationship effort like scheduled work • Humor about effort tied to desired outcomes • Tension between authentic connection and transactional gestures • Gestures lacking emotional presence not landing • Relationship growth compared to fitness results over time • Question of how to measure relationship progress • Difference between real effort and going through the motions • Gestures needing to match what matters to a specific partner • Differences in love languages and meaning • Preference for emotional openness over physical tokens for some • Compliments and physical affection as impactful gestures • Reminders to show affection not inherently fake • Warning against replacing communication with gestures • Encouragement to share emotionally even when uncomfortable • Surface gestures compared to shortcuts versus deeper work • Presence and emotional connection emphasized as core tools • Teasing acknowledgment of personal blind spots • Preparing mentally and physically for a second hip replacement • Cutting out alcohol ahead of surgery for health • Alcohol used as an unhealthy coping tool for anxiety • Distinction between casual drinking and substance use disorder • Lower threshold for substance misuse than assumed • Alcohol described as a neurotoxin with no safe level • Cultural shift away from alcohol and toward alternatives • Need to replace alcohol with healthier coping strategies • Short-term relief versus long-term harm from drinking • Personal experience of intense but fleeting relief from alcohol • Pattern of diminishing returns from drinking • Drinking framed as human but flawed coping • Anxiety-driven drinking during stressful events • Introduction of mindfulness as an alternative • Mindfulness defined as present awareness without judgment • Short practices still offering benefits • Mindfulness as accessible, low-effort support • Ongoing struggle despite long-term practice • Emphasis on honesty when discussing coping • Resistance to meditation due to restlessness • Gradual improvement coping without substances • Mention of mindfulness and meditation apps • Pairing mindfulness with journaling • Skepticism toward prescribed self-help routines • Research supporting gratitude practices • Gratitude linked to mood, longevity, and reduced anxiety • Structured tools making gratitude easier • Spoken gratitude as an alternative to writing • Simple practice of naming three good things • Gratitude countering negativity bias • Clarifying gratitude is not toxic positivity • Difficulty sustaining gratitude habits • Teaching gratitude to children • Kids defaulting to repetitive gratitude answers • Gratitude through future perspective-taking • Imagining paying to relive ordinary days • Reframing everyday life as valuable from the future • Gratitude tied to aging, loss, and impermanence • "$20,000 day" mindset for appreciating the present • Holding hardship and gratitude at the same time • Reframing daily inconveniences as meaningful moments • Joy found by noticing good amid stress • Viktor Frankl and meaning through suffering • Meaning and kindness even in extreme hardship • Mental stability through intentional awareness • Regret over not appreciating health and family sooner • Alcohol falsely creating a sense of slowed time • Gratitude mimicking that effect in a healthier way • Writing reinforcing memory and presence • Gratitude creating longer-lasting emotional boosts than alcohol • Learning appreciation without substances • Mindfulness and gratitude as trainable skills • Guilt around slowing down • Cultural pressure toward constant productivity • Life feeling like something to get through • Stress from always focusing on what's next • Chronic busyness driving mental overload • Value of micro-doses of mindfulness and gratitude • Small efforts producing real benefits • Breathing and presence as efficient investments • Practices improving through repetition • Mindfulness compared to religious prayer • Prayer framed as structured reflection and gratitude • Psychological reasons for religion's durability • Step-by-step explanation request for the $20,000 day idea • Using memories of children's early years for perspective • Recognizing mundane days as valuable in hindsight • Assigning value to ordinary life moments • Viewing today as a future memory worth protecting • Perspective shifts as a gratitude tool • Applying the idea to career stress and milestones • Pressure-filled moments reframed as achievements • Gratitude rooted in perspective, not denial • Positive feedback reinforcing emotional openness • Difficulty receiving compliments • Preference for perspective-based gratitude methods • Different gratitude approaches working for different people • Reminder that today's stress may be tomorrow's memory • Mortality clarifying what matters • Acknowledging illness while valuing being alive • Baseline gratitude for existence • Risk of gratitude invalidating pain when imposed • Letting people arrive at gratitude on their own • Distinguishing validation from minimizing pain • All pain treated as valid • Gratitude framed as internal, not corrective • Small, imperfect efforts still matter • Progress not requiring perfection • Car rides as built-in reflection time • Associating driving with appreciation for family • Kids remembering ordinary moments over big trips • Emotional realization about everyday presence • Humor about what kids will remember • Reflection on smoking as a past coping tool • Normalization of cigarettes in childhood • Substances framed as emotional crutches • Reduced need for crutches with healthier habits • Simple, repeatable habits replacing unhealthy coping • Personal growth indirectly improving relationships • Promotion of a book on difficult conversations and secure love • Applying relationship skills inward • Book release date and preorder announcement • Invitation to live book launch event • Live podcast recording and in-person interaction • Event location and venue details • Episode wrap-up and closing ###

    44 min
  2. LTN 12 - You Can Stay Home

    6D AGO

    LTN 12 - You Can Stay Home

    • Debate over repeating the show title and old-school radio presentation • Traditional radio habits versus modern podcast structure • Adjusting how hosts and guests are introduced on-air • Colette's media tour to Atlanta, Washington D.C., and Phoenix/Scottsdale • Delayed release of holiday-related media segments • Balancing work travel with mother–daughter time • Family relocation from New York to California and reduced closeness • Ease of travel between Florida and New York influencing migration • Jokes about people "invading" Florida • Media stereotypes about Florida and Floridians • Comedians mocking Florida while wanting to live there • Upsides of Florida living: weather, space, beaches, lifestyle • Downsides of Florida: extreme heat and limited outdoor variety • Comparisons to western states' landscapes and activities • Jokes about boring Florida walks and outdoor options • Idea of recording the relationship show on a boat • Humor about awkward optics, spouses present, and swampy scenery • Wanting cold weather for the holidays versus reality of winter travel • Experiences with extreme cold in northern cities • Renewed appreciation for Florida after traveling • Transition back to structured show segments and emails • High volume of listener emails centered on Christmas stress • Holidays as a peak stress period for relationships • Family gatherings creating forced togetherness and emotional strain • Pressure to appear happy during the holidays • Financial stress tied to holiday expectations • Listener email about December disrupting an otherwise stable relationship • Conflict over hosting, decorating, and family obligations • Tension between protecting a partner's joy and personal boundaries • Feeling forced or inauthentic during extended holiday plans • Difficulty expressing negative feelings without "ruining" the holiday • Resentment from hosting, travel, and family expectations • Being told to suppress feelings and "put on a happy face" • Feeling disallowed from expressing true emotions • Codependency from suppressing personal needs • Telling the truth about feelings without blaming a partner • Communicating overwhelm and anxiety around obligations • Framing conversations as discussion instead of refusal • Using a 1–10 scale to gauge how much something matters to a partner • Stretching for a partner when something truly matters to them • Harm of minimizing personal emotional experiences • Over-functioning by prioritizing others' feelings over your own • Joint decision-making based on both partners' needs • Accepting mismatched holiday enthusiasm • Allowing someone to be the "Grinch" without forcing cheer • Balancing authenticity with social responsibility • Choosing whether to attend events versus attending with resentment • Emotional self-regulation when choosing to participate • Unequal labor when one partner drives holiday plans • Transactional dynamics and "rewards" for participation • Risks of trading needs for short-term peace • Right to say no within marriage and family • Saying no clearly and kindly without guilt • Reframing boundaries as non-selfish self-care • Accepting partner disappointment as part of maturity • Saying no to prevent future resentment • Pressure to fake happiness to keep peace • Fear of being disliked or disappointing others • Avoidance of conflict leading to resentment and distance • Silence in relationships having long-term costs • Advocating for personal wants and feelings • Being explicit when a request is a real sacrifice • Checking internally for resentment before agreeing • Owning the choice when saying yes • Not resenting a partner after choosing to participate • Practicing boundary-setting as a learned skill • Therapy helping break people-pleasing habits • Listener email about gift-giving anxiety and conflict • Overspending, guilt spirals, and pressure around gifts • Gifts feeling tied to love, effort, and parenting • Social pressure on women to perform love through perfect gifts • Differentiating joyful giving from trapped giving • Permission to scale back holiday effort • Negative self-talk and self-criticism around holidays • Accepting compliments and small boundaries • Emotional versus logical views of Christmas meaning • One partner not caring about receiving gifts • Accepting gifts because giving matters to the giver • Sharing wish lists to ease gift stress • Avoiding unintentionally ruining someone's joy in giving • Difficulty choosing gifts for long-term partners • Skepticism about "love languages" as science • Preference for quality time over material gifts • Critique of conspicuous consumption • Encouraging experience-based gifts over objects • Local experience gift ideas and planned dates • Thoughtfulness as feeling seen, not price-driven • Last-minute gift panic leading to poor choices • Mutual decisions to skip gifts in favor of travel • Pattern of saying "no gifts" but still feeling pressure • Choosing shared experiences like trips over presents • Listener email about opting out of family Christmas gatherings • Choosing peace and rest over obligation • Feeling judged by family for not attending • Courage required to set holiday boundaries • Expecting pushback when breaking traditions • Relief and joy after changing stressful traditions • Being labeled the "bad guy" for choosing rest • Accepting others' anger to stay true to yourself • Establishing new traditions after initial discomfort • Long-term relief once new norms are set • Family systems eventually adjusting to boundaries • Accepting that you can't make everyone happy • Permission to say "I can't do it this year" without justification ### • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
• Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/
• Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
• Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    43 min
  3. LTN 11 - Communicate

    DEC 11

    LTN 11 - Communicate

    • Holiday stress, polarized feelings, and relationship strain • Simplifying expectations and focusing on connection • Intentional family time and low-effort activities like games and puzzles • Screen overstimulation making simple activities feel boring • Relearning enjoyment away from devices • Emotional lift after spending real time with family • Effort required to engage in shared activities • Easy entry games and "adult parallel play" options like pottery, climbing, walking • Bonding without constant conversation; Florida weather enabling outdoor time • Casual family outings like parks, markets, and food halls • Scheduling pauses to avoid being consumed by chores • Rejecting holiday perfectionism in favor of meaningful moments • Memories shaped by shared experiences, not tasks • Traditions like driving to see Christmas lights; nostalgia for older displays • Local light events as simple holiday fun • Reducing pressure with easier meal choices and clearer communication • Asking guests what they want to talk about to spark genuine conversations • Choosing activities people actually want, honoring diverse traditions • Traveling for family obligations and maintaining positive ties with ex-in-laws • Modeling healthy relationships and blended family dynamics for kids • Showing kids that emotional expression is normal and healthy • Challenging traditional male conditioning around emotions • Using communication tools to balance expression with appropriate containment • Pausing to regulate emotions and "measure" their priority • Validating feelings as signals about needs • Exploring emotions with curiosity instead of fear • Humor and gambling used as contrasts for emotional decision-making • Childhood lack of control shaping adult emotional habits • Fear of being overwhelmed by emotions; learning they subside when felt • Many adults never learned safe emotional expression • Vulnerability deepening connection • Admitting stress in professional settings to create honesty • Using exaggerated emotion manipulatively in negotiations • Joke about trying to "mold" a partner rather than treating them as equal • Holiday romance movies creating unrealistic expectations • "Emotional pornography" and other idealized social-media extremes • Social comparison damaging self-worth • Listener email tease: feeling treated like a child instead of a teammate • Feeling infantilized by constant correction and nitpicking • Addressing issues individually with calm "I feel" statements • Partners often unaware they sound critical until told gently • Vulnerability inviting empathy and appreciation • Workplace analogy: problems persist without direct communication • Fear-driven assumptions blocking honest expression of needs • Wizard of Oz analogy: solutions simpler when people communicate • Clear, kind communication resolving issues more than expected • Promotion for The Cost of Quiet, including pre-orders, audiobook, VIP launch, and live podcast details ### • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
• Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/
• Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
• Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    45 min
  4. LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce

    DEC 4

    LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce

    • Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences • Colette's relaxed holiday without her kids • Daniel's stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles • Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires • Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid • Giants' struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues • Annoyance at Kansas City's continued success and Cowboys rivalry • Social media comparison culture affecting relationships • Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life • Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant modern exposure • Performative relationship presentation and couples divorcing despite appearing perfect • "Gray divorce" trend among people 50+ • Rising gray-divorce rates while overall divorce rates fall • Causes of gray divorce: growing apart, empty nest, long-term unhappiness • Women initiating most divorces due to increased independence • Less tolerance for unhealthy or abusive long-term relationships • Women leaving disconnected marriages after decades of misery • Some couples staying miserable for years • Personal gratitude for having healthier parental models • Possibility of fixing issues before reaching gray-divorce age • Older couples' grumpiness as an "act" rather than true misery • Enmeshment, codependency, and low-grade unhappiness in long marriages • Changing expectations around marriage and desire for deeper connection • Settling vs. actively improving a relationship • Negativity being easier than expressing affection • Relationships needing intentional effort and kindness • Debate of repairing a relationship vs. starting over • Mutual effort, communication, vulnerability, and appreciation • Recognizing when only one partner is doing the work • Personal growth as the first step toward repairing issues • Listener emails about empty-nester fears • Encouraging open conversations about the transition • Validating both excitement and fear as bonding opportunities • Joke about having another baby and related risks • Habitual lateness in friendships and dating • Whether chronic lateness can change • Lateness seen as inconsiderate and selfish • Emotional impact of others being late • Adults' responsibility to respect others' time • Predictable lateness patterns and communicating boundaries • Importance of notifying others when running late • Lateness signaling someone's time isn't valued • Anecdotes about partners who avoid being early • Intent vs. impact in lateness • Hurt caused by repeated lateness despite requests • Deciding whether to keep making plans with late people • Debate over giving slack vs. upholding values • Being on time as a personal identity • Using buffer time to stay punctual • Setting boundaries around lateness • Listener praise for the show • Question about poetry in modern dating • Party with an on-demand love-poem writer • Gay social events with creative entertainment • Fundraiser with themed performers in every room • Gay friends throwing more elaborate parties • Adults enjoying whimsical activities like face painting • Decline of poetry in dating • Nostalgia for romantic gestures like custom poems • Writing poems or symbolic gifts as romance • "Key to my heart" car-key gesture example • Romantic vulnerability appreciated when interest is mutual • Making a bound book of poems after divorce • Embarrassment over past over-the-top gestures • Feeling previous partners didn't value romantic efforts • Pulling back romantically after negative past experiences • Romantic gestures fading in long relationships but still meaningful • Listeners relating to giving up on effort after lack of appreciation • Love languages shaping what gestures matter • Suspicion of grand gestures when out of character • Big gifts perceived as guilt • Preference for small, thoughtful gestures • Bringing home garden flowers as simple affection • Tailoring gestures to the relationship • Thoughtfulness mattering more than format • Writing a poem for a partner after a parent's death • Partner framing the poem as a keepsake • Dark humor in personal writing • Acts of service like cleaning a partner's car • Love languages lacking scientific validation but still useful • Balancing effort across work, parenting, marriage, and self-care • Partner needs often neglected when overwhelmed • "Quiet quitting" relationships through emotional neglect • Disconnection leading to gray-divorce or roommate-style marriages • Value of small daily acts of presence • Five-minute check-ins to maintain connection • Quality time over quantity • Phones and mobile games interfering with relationships • Avoiding relationship effort similar to avoiding exercise • Small daily actions rebuilding habits and connection • "No time" as an excuse; micro-commitments help • Encouraging a few minutes of daily relational investment • Homework: small daily effort toward connection • Promotion of Colette's upcoming book *The Cost of Quiet* • Closing the show with plans to return next week

    46 min
  5. LTN 9 - The Bird Theory

    NOV 20

    LTN 9 - The Bird Theory

    • Audience enjoying the relationship show • Reminder to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify • More relationship content appearing in social media feeds • Noting that consuming relationship content can boost awareness • Contrast between relationship-focused and random algorithm feeds • Brief joke about Hezbollah/Hezzy and Mike Tyson's age confusion • Introduction of the online "Bird Theory" test • Example of a staged bird video illustrating the concept • Gottman's "bids for connection" explained • Turning toward bids linked to long-term satisfaction • Bids are small attempts to connect, not about literal topics • Importance of responding even when uninterested • Ping-pong analogy for communication • Sharing memes, sports, or small moments as valid bids • Ignoring bids due to distraction or overload • Emotional harm from consistently missed bids • Healthy couples turn toward bids about 86% of the time • Harmful dismissive responses highlighted • Context affecting how humor or timing lands • Supporting a partner's unrelated interests • Overwhelming feeling of family members sending constant bids • Fear of hurting loved ones by not responding • Parent-child responsiveness applied to spouses • Spouses feeling de-prioritized next to children • Challenges in blended families and differing loyalties • Listener email expressing gratitude for the show • Joke about putting the show behind a paywall • Introduction of "retroactive jealousy" question • Retroactive jealousy defined as fixation on a partner's past • Normalizing jealousy but focusing on how it's handled • Rumination triggered by hearing about an ex • Differentiating insecurity from internal anxiety • Strategy of acknowledging emotions without shaming • Wondering why a partner often mentions an ex • Dismissing humorous "exposure therapy" ideas • Past-reference context in blended families • Sudden jealousy sparks in long relationships • Jealousy isn't the problem—behaviors are • Past betrayals and personality traits shaping jealousy • Acceptable to address repeated ex mentions calmly • Irrational jealousy about teenage events resurfacing • Watching old VHS tapes and feeling disconnected from past selves • Exploring why old incidents still sting • Jealousy sometimes signaling a need for reassurance • Limited dating histories magnifying past details • Young relationships evolving into adult ones • Encouragement to ask compassionate questions • Fear that discussing issues could "unravel" the relationship • Recurring infidelity dreams indicating insecurity • Question about when to show aggression publicly • Concern over being labeled a "Karen/Kyle" • Aggression rejected; assertiveness encouraged • Example of respectful assertiveness when correcting mistakes • Story of confronting a line-cutter who was blind • Story of confronting a smoker who was a little person • Risk of situations escalating or going viral • Critique of fight-for-honor culture • Mixed reactions to someone flirting with a spouse • Some wanting mild jealousy as proof of care • Jealousy not equal to love • Partners vary in territorial feelings • Email from a woman whose relationship began as a work affair • Agreement delaying introductions to his kids for two years becoming 15 • Missing major family events due to exclusion • Partner shutting down whenever it's discussed • Kids possibly resenting the affair • Avoidance being harmful regardless of the kids' stance • Distinguishing kid acceptance issues from partner communication issues • Avoidance giving short-term relief but long-term damage • Need for open talk about shame, loyalty, and exclusion • Theme of the therapist's book: the cost of avoidance • Promotion of "The Cost of Quiet" and preorder bonuses • Promotion of the Dec. 3 "Pitch a Friend" event • Event format: three-minute friend pitches • Event is free or low cost • Previous events included all ages and red-flag/green-flag games • Listeners asking if Colette will attend Beer Fest • Confirmation she will be there • Invitation for listeners to meet her at the Beer Fest • Peanuts-style "advice 5¢" joke • Joke about giving advice for an email address • Colette excited to meet listeners at both events • Closing note that they'll see listeners next week ### Social Media:
https://tomanddan.com/ | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/ The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/ Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    48 min
  6. LTN 8 - Cutoffs

    NOV 13

    LTN 8 - Cutoffs

    • Live launch of "A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan" on Twitch and YouTube • Promotion of free Bad at Business Beerfest (Nov 22) and Sofas and Suds couch races (Nov 23) in Sanford • Both events are free, family-friendly, and include unlimited beer samples for 21+ • "Weird Job Wednesday" debuts with guest Amy Kaufeldt from Fox 35 • Amy shares her childhood dream of spaceflight and how the Challenger disaster changed her goals • Found passion for writing, studied journalism at Miami University of Ohio • Early unpaid radio work at NPR station WMUB; enjoyed radio's relaxed pace • Transitioned from radio to TV through NBC internships in Ohio; learned sales made more than on-air talent • Accepted first TV job in Great Falls, Montana, for $18K; learned budgeting and lived modestly • Covered Unabomber arrest as first major breaking story; called early years her "media boot camp" • Promoted to main anchor without a raise; typed scripts on typewriters and timed segments manually • Reflected that early grind built confidence and skill • Compared early technical work to today's automation, saying new journalists miss foundational skills • Discussed handling online criticism and "keyboard warriors"; shared story of viewer apologizing for rude comment • Mentioned balance between robotic presentation and human connection on air • Described seven-hour Fox 35 morning show, expanding from three hours since 2003 • Detailed hurricane coverage shifts, lack of sleep quarters, and constant updates • Explained teleprompter focus and staying authentic during serious stories like Casey Anthony trial • Shared story connecting puppy born without a paw to a family with a limb difference; became therapy dog "Charlie Tri" • Reflected on community impact and importance of compassion in local news • Mentioned station renovation chaos—lost internet and live shots during broadcasts • Noted female anchors face appearance criticism; prefers prepping at home to stay ready • Described field reporting risks: danger, exhaustion, harassment • Noted pay disparities across markets; few anchors become wealthy • Discussed influencer hires and decline of passion-driven journalism • Praised for professionalism and longevity; jokes about "Love Thy Neighbor" six-second kiss • Interview with comedian George Wallace performing at Orlando Funny Bone with Amy LeCours opening • Wallace recalls 49-year career with Seinfeld, jokes about being his "kids' father" • Talks shift from TV to social media comedy—"funny is still funny" • Emphasizes work ethic, travel life, and joy of live audiences • Promotes new show "Clean Slate," jokes second show is funnier because he's "naked" • Shares love for ice cream, weight-gain resolution, and "four L's"—learning, listening, loving, laughing • Encourages Tom and Dan to try stand-up; signs off with "I love you, nothing you can do about it" • Hosts praise Wallace's energy and liken him to a comedic Michael Jordan • Light talk on Wendy's nostalgia—spicy chicken peak, "Biggie" brand loss, fast food decline • Notes Wendy's sales down 5%, revenue $1.63B; reflects on inflation and quality drop • Misses dollar menus and quirky architecture like Alamo-style Taco Bells • Shifts to Rob Dyrdek discussion—critiques his self-help "wait list" marketing as cultish but disciplined • Notes grind addiction, unrealistic motivational tone, and monetized positivity • Compares Dyrdek to Tony Robbins; respect for his structure but dislike for gimmicks • Listener voicemail revives "white van speaker scam" story from 2000s • Dan recalls buying "Blue Rhino" speakers in college—real brand, not propane • Paid $110; they worked fine and lasted years • Debate whether scam is truly fraud or just markup resale • Reflection that working products made it feel like a fair deal • Closing thought: scams persist because "there's always a chance" • Show wrap-up and sign-off ### Social Media:
https://tomanddan.com/ | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/ The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/ Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    49 min
  7. LTN 7 - The Online Dating Disconnect

    NOV 6

    LTN 7 - The Online Dating Disconnect

    • Launch of "Love Thy Neighbor" with Dan, Tom, and Colette Fehr • Banter about walking to Publix and Colette teasing Dan • Colette attends "Pitch a Friend" Orlando dating event and explains its PowerPoint pitch format • Discussion of dating app burnout, swipe fatigue, and loss of real connection • Colette's "Red Flag or Green Flag" game and insights on in-person chemistry • Jokes about people falling for the presenter instead of the friend pitched • Commentary on gendered dating perceptions and differing timelines • Emphasis on body language, vibe, and physical chemistry over screens • Comparison of "vibes" vs. science in attraction • Event at Gravity Tap Room; next one Dec 3 at Primrose Lanes (famous hot dogs) • Shift to sex talk and how men/women view dating motives differently • Dan values connection; Tom admits physical attraction drives men • Discussion of laughter as intimacy and thrill of early dating • Colette notes women often prefer emotional intimacy before sex • Ghosting and casual culture seen as emotionally damaging • Online dating breeds cynicism and "disposable" mindset • Digital judgment linked to low self-esteem and loneliness • Women face harsher appearance scrutiny; men struggle to show vulnerability • Conversation on male emotional suppression and biology-driven desire • Dating apps enable convenience over effort, leading to isolation or incel behavior • Men mocked for liking marriage; hosts defend partnership and family life • "Good partner > happy single > toxic relationship" • Example of friend thriving after self-work without a partner • Humans need connection; quality bonds improve longevity • Concerns about AI/robots replacing real relationships • Listener email: advice seems to blame men • Colette clarifies relationships are co-created; both share responsibility • Discussion of pursuer–withdrawer dynamics and mental load imbalance • Tips: team mindset, clear asks, "I" statements, avoid tit-for-tat • Men urged to state needs constructively and set boundaries • Example: request chores or phone-free dinners for reconnection • Partners show love by attending unexciting events for each other • Many men feel blamed; communication must be mindful, not reactive • Colette offers free communication scripts on her site • Emotional awareness isn't taught—requires effort and patience • Therapy reveals both partners need reflection and growth • Advice: express feelings without attacking or demanding change • Women often burn out from not feeling heard; checked-out partners rarely return • Most men prefer commitment once emotionally invested • Tom shares learning affection through small gestures like flowers • Upbringing made him reserved, but consistency built trust • Small daily acts strengthen connection over time • Colette praises Tom's effort and suggests habit-stacking affection • Gentle touch meets emotional needs and prevents "starvation" • Humor about forced hugs and awkward affection • Affection styles differ; goal is balance, not perfection • Colette urges small, steady contact—hand-holding or brief hugs • Joke about withholding affection as "emotional terrorism" • Reminder: send questions to Hello@LoveThyNeighborShow.com • Plug for Colette's book The Cost of Quiet and upcoming audiobook • Light banter and wrap-up about audiobooks and reading ### **Social Media:**   [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

    46 min
  8. LTN 6 - Colette VS Whatever

    OCT 30

    LTN 6 - Colette VS Whatever

    • "Love Thy Neighbor" with Dan, Tom, and therapist Colette • Colette's California media tour for her book • Colette appears on the controversial "Whatever" podcast • "Whatever" framed as alpha/anti-woke male genre • Critique of toxic masculinity and "men under attack" tropes • Other shows mock/analyze these alpha podcasts • Past "Whatever" guests include Charlie Kirk, Candace Owens • Secretive taping: last-minute address, security, metal detector • Overloaded studio: 9–16 mics; strict mic rules enforced • Tom's old-school gripe: too many open mics • OnlyFans model spotlighted; show leans on visual appeal • Colette cast as the feminist voice on the panel • Her therapist stance: note rare valid points, reject nonsense • Rage-baiting for clicks; deliberate provocation • Dan learned rage-bait radio with Ed Till; ethical doubts • Colette dragged for going on four dates in one day • Chivalry debate: who pays and for how long • Defense of casual "coffee dates" amid app fatigue • Host claims chivalry burdens men while demanding submission • Child-support and dating-expectations attacks on Colette • Narrative: young white men victimized and owed obedience • Popularity driven by true fans, not just hate-listeners • Red-pill framing; younger male pushback culture • "80% of women want 20% of men" stat challenged • "666" trope (six figures/feet/inches) reactions • Men's anger tied to rejection vs personal responsibility • Politics baked in; red/blue pill props on set • Show prints money; Colette still gets online backlash • Preference for real help over grievance-weaponizing • Why the audience is large: loneliness and resentment • Claims denying wage gap/minimizing violence deemed absurd • Panel self-ratings; no "7" rule; some rate very low • Colette self-rates: 9 for her age; 6 vs 20-year-olds • '90s shock-jock comparisons without the wit • Colette vs Alex Stein's "confidence = sex bait" jab • Rebuttal: confidence from life experience, not sex hunting • Call-out of sexism tying older women's value to desirability • Hosts profit from outrage and controversy • Howard Stern contrast: provocative yet self-aware/comedic • Red-pill appeal to disillusioned young men explained • Empathy for average men squeezed by online ideals • Men judged to be tall/rich/successful; women also objectified • Apps amplify superficiality, comparison, and loneliness • Both genders warped by algorithmic expectations • Real attraction grows via shared humor and real-world contact • Screen time erodes social skills and confidence • Many alpha hosts read as insecure/inexperienced • Brian Atlas cited as projecting frustration • Submissiveness/obedience rejected as outdated • If chivalry demands submission, decline it • Strong women valued; confident men welcome equals • Hosts' wives as assertive, capable partners • Balance independence with care-taking; avoid dependency • Strong partners still want to feel cared for • Healthy dynamic = mutual giving and receiving • Is oppression of women ongoing? Colette: yes; others: no • Sex work: agency vs oppression debated • "Men must protect women" expectation questioned under equality • Traditional roles still shape modern instincts • Beliefs formed by societal conditioning and generation • Manners vs obligation: kindness without transaction • Some men now demand trades for gestures—criticized • Example: fake "submissive ex" video to sway viewers • Jealousy fueling resentment toward non-submissive partners • Submission vs genuine care distinguished • Acts should come from love, not hierarchy • Mutual care ≠ loss of voice; submission does • Colette jokes her husband might prefer more "traditional" • 1950s domestic role bit (slippers, whiskey, pipe) • Do men secretly want traditional again? Depends • Global and personal preferences vary widely • Respect for independent, confident women who lead • Relationships should rest on choice and mutual respect • Nostalgia for the 1950s called unrealistic, media-made • Real mid-century marriages weren't TV fantasies • Grandfather's orphanage/WWII story: hardship breeds empathy • Past resilience vs today's victim mindsets in men's movements • Relief that Colette's appearance ended safely • Plug: The Cost of Quiet — preorder info • Contact: ColetteJaneFair.com; anonymous questions welcome • Like/subscribe; plan to tackle listener emails next episode ### **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

    45 min
See All (14)

5
out of 5
177 Ratings

About

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

Information

  • Creator
    Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Love Thy Neighbor Show

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