Do You Feel That? | A Couples Intimacy & Sex Podcast

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Do You Feel That? is a couples intimacy and sex podcast about love, connection, desire, and building a stronger relationship in and out of the bedroom. Hosted by Scott and Brittney, a married couple exploring modern intimacy, each episode blends honest conversations, personal stories, and practical tools to help couples improve communication, deepen emotional connection, and create better sex in long-term relationships. We talk about: • Marriage and intimacy • Sexual communication • Desire differences • Erotic exploration • Guided audio intimacy • Confidence in the bedroom • Reigniting passion after kids • Sex toys, play, and connection • Building emotional safety • Strengthening relationships through intentional intimacy Whether you’re navigating mismatched desire, looking to improve your sex life, or simply wanting to feel closer to your partner, Do You Feel That? offers grounded, real-world conversations to help couples grow together. New episodes every week.

  1. 2d ago

    What He Actually Wants in Bed

    Last week Brittney told Scott and every man listening what women actually want in bed. This week the tables turn. In Episode 51, Scott tells Brittney and every woman listening what men actually want in bed. Not the cultural mythology. Not the locker room script. What the research consistently identifies across thousands of men and what Scott personally confirms. The findings will surprise most women. Emotional connection is the most common reason men give for wanting partnered sex — slightly higher than women. Women dramatically underestimate how emotionally meaningful sex is for their male partner. The gap between what men actually want and what their partners assume they want is one of the most costly misunderstandings in long-term relationships. Scott walks through seven things: feeling genuinely desired, her authentic pleasure, emotional presence, the freedom to share fantasies without judgment, more foreplay than she thinks he wants, tenderness alongside intensity, and knowing specifically what she wants. Brittney responds honestly throughout — confirming, pushing back, and acknowledging what today’s conversation changes for her. Plus three things men want that nobody talks about and a direct word for the men listening about naming what they actually need rather than performing the version of male desire culture made acceptable. In this episode: The biggest misconception about male desire and why it costs couples real intimacyWhy women dramatically underestimate how emotionally meaningful sex is for their male partnerFeeling genuinely desired — why mutual initiation changes the erotic dynamic entirelyHer authentic pleasure vs. a performance of it — why faking deprives him of something realEmotional presence vs. physical availability The fantasy conversation — why men want it and why it rarely happensThe foreplay finding most women don’t know: men want significantly more than they’re gettingKnowing what she wants specifically and why her Sexual Self-Portrait from Episode 45 is the most practical gift she can give himThree undertalked things: genuine mutual desire, safe vulnerability, and novelty within the relationshipScott’s honest personal reflection — what he’s wanted most and found hardest to ask forBrittney’s honest response — what changes for her after hearing thisRemember — intimacy is not automatic... it’s guided. Couples Intimacy Resources Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship? Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection. For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence. Explore both here: 📱 Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download 📞 Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

  2. Oct 6

    What She Actually Wants in Bed

    In this episode, Brittney tells Scott and by extension every man listening — what women actually want in bed. Not what culture says. Not what porn shows. What the research consistently identifies across tens of thousands of women, delivered in Brittney's honest voice and confirmed by her personal experience. Seven things. Each one specific, practical, and backed by research. From feeling genuinely desired rather than just available, to the time women actually need, whole-body attention, clitoral stimulation done right, emotional safety as a prerequisite rather than a bonus, the culture of asking and actually listening, and the aftercare most men skip entirely. Scott responds honestly throughout — what he got wrong, what changed, what he still works on. And the episode closes with a direct word for the women listening about their own role in getting what they want. In this episode: Why most men don't know what women want and why that's fixableFeeling genuinely desired vs. just available — the research on object-of-desire affirmationWhy women need 15-20 minutes of foreplay and how to actually give itWhole-body attention — why three zones misses everythingClitoral stimulation done right — rhythm, pressure, and consistencyEmotional safety as a prerequisite — what creates it and what erodes itAsking and listening — why receiving feedback without defensiveness is the most important skillAftercare — the research on post-sex connection and the 48-hour afterglowA direct word for women: you are allowed to want what you wantScott's honest reflection on what he's gotten wrong and what changedRemember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided. Couples Intimacy Resources Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship? Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection. For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence. Explore both here: Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

  3. Sep 29

    How to Have Sex for Hours

    Scott has completed Ironman triathlons. He has a Master's degree in Performance Psychology. He's spent years coaching hockey players to stop focusing on outcomes and stay locked into process and plan. And he thinks most couples approach sex exactly the way a beginner approaches their first race: get to the finish line as efficiently as possible. In Episode 49, Scott and Brittney take on the finish-line problem in couples' intimacy — the unconscious structure where everything builds toward the man's orgasm, which signals the end of the encounter, and both partners spend the entire experience subtly managing toward that destination rather than inhabiting what's actually happening. What's lost in that structure is enormous. Because great sex has no milestones, no checkpoints, and no predetermined destination. It is an erotic experience that expands and grows as the situation demands — going somewhere neither partner fully anticipated when it began, because both were present enough to follow where it was actually going. This episode is about how to build that capacity. The process focus that Performance Psychology identifies as the difference between peak performers and average ones. The endurance mindset that allows you to be completely in this mile rather than running toward a finish line you can't see yet. And the specific practices that make extended, expanded intimate experience possible — not as a sequence to execute, but as a way of showing up. In this episode: The finish-line problem — how outcome focus limits intimate experience for both partnersScott's Ironman and Performance Psychology background — and why the same principles that separate peak athletes from average ones apply directly to the bedroomProcess focus vs. outcome focus — what each actually feels like, and what changes when you make the shiftWhy great sex has no milestones — and what becomes available when you remove the finish lineThe practices that support extended intimacy: breathwork, eye gazing, sensory presence, edging as a way of being, and communication as expression rather than evaluationThe jazz principle — why the best encounters go somewhere neither partner plannedOrgasm as one possible experience — not the destinationMantak Chia and the Taoist frame: what non-ejaculatory extended experience makes availableWhere to actually start — and why the orientation shift matters more than the durationRemember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided. Couples Intimacy Resources Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship? Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection. For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence. Explore both here: Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

  4. Sep 22

    7 Things Worth Trying In Your Bedroom Tonight

    No frameworks. No deep emotional excavation. Just seven things genuinely worth adding to your intimate life — and one shameless plug at the end. In Episode 48, Scott and Brittney each own specific items on a curated list of physical, sensory, and psychological additions to the bedroom that most couples have never tried and at least one that's going to make you wonder why nobody told you about it sooner. The back of the knee — the erogenous zone almost nobody knows about. The Coital Alignment Technique — a modified missionary position with an 82.5% female orgasm rate in research studies that almost no one does intentionally. The scalp — one of the most nerve-rich surfaces on the body, almost universally neglected. The Somatica Institute's three-part breathwork practice — Scott's personal practice for activating erotic aliveness on demand. Temperature play with ice and heat. Eye gazing — the most vulnerable thing you can do without touching. And a vibrating c**k ring — the most practical orgasm gap solution available. Plus the bonus: guided audio intimacy with Coelle and why it's the most useful thing on the entire list for couples who want to go deeper than any single technique or product can take them. In this episode: The back of the knee — why unexpected touch to this spot creates immediate, complete presenceThe Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) — the research-backed position producing 82.5% female orgasm rates that almost nobody does on purposeThe scalp — the most overlooked erogenous zone on the body and how to use itThe Somatica Institute three-part breathwork — what it is, what Scott's daily practice has produced, and how to startTemperature play — why contrast matters more than temperature alone and the simplest way to start tonightEye gazing — why sustained mutual gaze before intimacy changes the quality of everything that followsThe vibrating c**k ring — specifically the Tenga SVR, why it works, and the conversation to have firstBonus: Coelle guided audio intimacy — what it does that music, podcasts, and techniques alone can'tRemember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided. Couples Intimacy Resources Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship? Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection. For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence. Explore both here: Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

  5. Sep 15

    The Fantasy You've Never Told Your Partner — And What It's Actually Trying to Say

    Your fantasies are not random. They are not guilty secrets. They are not confessions. They are coded language — your mind's most creative attempt to give you access to the emotional experiences you've been reaching for your whole life. In Episode 47, Scott and Brittney draw on the work of Esther Perel — psychotherapist, bestselling author, and one of the most original voices on desire alive — specifically her conversation with Gillian Anderson on the secret logic of the erotic mind. The insight at the center of it all: a good fantasy states the problem and offers the solution. The scenario is the symbol. The feeling underneath it is the truth. Scott also shares something deeply personal in this episode — the connection between his Core Desire of Being Seen, a childhood marked by a father who never attended a single hockey game, family favoritism, and the erotic life that grew directly out of that history. It's the most honest illustration of Perel's framework available: tell me how you were loved, and I will know a lot about how you make love. This episode covers where fantasies actually come from, how to translate your own fantasy into the deeper language underneath it, why sharing a fantasy with your partner is not the same as requesting it, and what becomes possible in a relationship when both partners are willing to hand each other the map. In this episode: Esther Perel's foundational insight: sexuality as coded language for our deepest emotional needsWhy she tells her students not to ask what people do but what they think about while doing it, and whyA good fantasy states the problem and offers the solution — what that means specificallyWhere fantasies come from — history, culture, and the buffet of experienceWhy most fantasies are discovered rather than invented and why people can learn to fantasizeThe translation practice: how to read your own fantasy for the emotional need underneathScott's personal story: how his Core Desire of Being Seen traces to his father never attending a hockey game and what that reveals about the intimate life that grew from itPerel's line that ties it all together: "Tell me how you were loved, and I"ll tell you how you make love."Why sharing a fantasy is not the same as requesting one and why the distinction matters enormouslyHow to share a fantasy with your partner — practically, vulnerably, without pressureFantasies as creative acts that can heal, repair, and transformThe connection between your fantasy life and your Sexual Self-Portrait from Episode 45Referenced: Want by Gillian AndersonMating in Captivity by Esther PerelEsther Perel's podcast: Where Should We Begin?Esther Perel & Gillian Anderson — "Say More: Esther Perel on Fantasy with Gillian Anderson"Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided. Couples Intimacy Resources Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship? Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection. For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence. Explore both here:  Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download  Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

  6. Sep 8

    Watch Me — The Most Intimate Thing Most Couples Have Never Tried

    Scott wants to try mutual masturbation. Brittney is hesitant. Neither of them has done it yet and rather than pretend otherwise, they decided to make that honesty the episode. In Episode 46, Scott and Brittney tackle one of the most commonly cited intimate experiences couples are curious about and one of the least acted upon. Scott represents the eager partner — genuinely excited by what the research says this experience offers, and honest about why he wants it. Brittney represents the hesitant partner — intellectually interested in the science, personally uncertain about the specific vulnerability it requires, and honest about what she'd need before it felt right. Together they cover what mutual masturbation actually is, what watching your partner pleasure themselves teaches you that nothing else does, why the vulnerability is both the most uncomfortable and most intimate part, and the specific dynamic between an eager partner and a hesitant one — what both sides need to hear, and what both sides tend to get wrong. For couples who are both ready: a complete practical framework for doing it for the first time. For couples who aren't aligned yet: language for the conversation that actually moves things forward. In this episode: What mutual masturbation actually is and what it offers that partnered sex doesn't automatically provideWhy it's on so many couples' lists and why it stays thereWhat watching your partner pleasure themselves teaches you that nothing else doesThe vulnerability component — why being witnessed is both the most uncomfortable and most intimate partScott's honest take: why the research has him genuinely excitedBrittney's honest take: the specific self-consciousness and what she'd need before this felt rightThe eager partner vs. hesitant partner dynamic — what both sides get wrong and what actually helpsWhat the hesitant partner's "not yet" actually means and why it's not a noFive steps from curious to actually doing it — for couples who are both readyWhat to do if you're not aligned yet and why that's the most common starting placeRemember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided. Couples Intimacy Resources Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship? Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection. For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence. Explore both here: Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

  7. Sep 1

    What Turns You On — And Why Your Partner Has No Idea

    Most couples have been together for years and their partner still doesn't know exactly what turns them on. Not because they don't care. Because nobody ever gave either of them the language for it. In Episode 45, Scott and Brittney introduce the Sexual Self-Portrait — a User Manual for how you're actually wired. They each walk through their own completed portrait live, across nine essential sections: Core Desire, Dimension of Sex, Erotic Blueprint, Emotional Wiring, Arousal Arc, favorite position, ideal music and atmosphere, what lands and what doesn't, and how to meet them well. Scott shares his complete portrait — what he needs, how he arrives, what reliably works and what pulls him out, and what his Enneagram 4 with a 3 wing reveals about how his personality shapes his intimacy. Brittney shares hers — including Scott's working read of her from the outside, and what she'd correct or add in her own words. They also share why building these documents has been one of the most genuinely useful things they've done for their intimate life and give listeners everything they need to build their own, including a free downloadable template. This is the most personal episode of the series. Because the more clearly you know yourself, the more fully you can be met. In this episode: Why most partners have no idea what actually turns their person on and why that's nobody's faultThe nine sections of the Sexual Self-Portrait and what each one revealsScott and Brittney's complete portraits — Core Desires, Dimensions, Enneagram scores, Arousal Arcs, and moreWhy this has been a game changer for Scott and Brittney personallyThe two versions worth building — your own and a working read of your partnerHow to share it without it feeling like a performance review or a complaintNine prompts to start building yours tonightDownload the Sexual Self-Portrait Template Frameworks Referenced in This Episode: Core Desires — Somatica InstituteThe Three Dimensions of Sex — CoelleErotic Blueprints — JaiyaRemember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided. Couples Intimacy Resources Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship? Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection. For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence. Explore both here: Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

  8. Aug 25

    The Intimacy Playlist — Music, Mood, and What's Actually Playing in Our Bedroom

    What's actually playing in the bedroom? Today Scott and Brittney answer that completely. In Episode 44, they share the full evolution of their intimacy music journey: from the early classics like Norah Jones, John Legend, Lana Del Rey, and 90s R&B, all the way to the four highly specific playlists they use today — each one designed for a different mood, a different kind of encounter, and a different dimension of intimacy. The Chill Covers playlist for warm, unhurried connection. The Erotic Playlist featuring Sabrina Claudio, James Blake, Massive Attack, and BANKS for dark and intentional intensity. The Sensual Playlist with Craig Pruess, Porangui, and Gwairoch for sacred, embodied presence. And the R&B Playlist featuring Isiah Falls, Bryson Tiller, Trey Songz, and The Weeknd for confident, charged energy. Plus: the practical guide to building your own intimacy playlist tonight — the most important variables, why tempo matters more than genre, and the one mistake most couples make with music and intimacy. In this episode: Why music affects mood and arousal neurochemically and why the wrong song is a genuine intimacy killerThe evolution from Norah Jones and Boyz II Men to four highly specific playlistsThe Chill Covers playlist — what it is, when to use it, and why covers work differently than originalsThe Erotic Playlist — "Frozen," "The Wilhelm Scream," "Teardrop," "Brain" and what makes each one workThe Sensual Playlist — "Devi Prayer," "Stardust," "Ancestral Prayer" and the sacred dimension of intimate musicThe R&B Playlist — Isiah Falls, Bryson Tiller, Trey Songz, The Weeknd and the mood each one createsHow to build your own intimacy playlist — tempo, lyrics, length, and the shuffle questionScott & Brittney's most reliable mood-setting tracks and the songs that have become personal favoritesRemember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided. Couples Intimacy Resources Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship? Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection. For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence. Explore both here: Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

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About

Do You Feel That? is a couples intimacy and sex podcast about love, connection, desire, and building a stronger relationship in and out of the bedroom. Hosted by Scott and Brittney, a married couple exploring modern intimacy, each episode blends honest conversations, personal stories, and practical tools to help couples improve communication, deepen emotional connection, and create better sex in long-term relationships. We talk about: • Marriage and intimacy • Sexual communication • Desire differences • Erotic exploration • Guided audio intimacy • Confidence in the bedroom • Reigniting passion after kids • Sex toys, play, and connection • Building emotional safety • Strengthening relationships through intentional intimacy Whether you’re navigating mismatched desire, looking to improve your sex life, or simply wanting to feel closer to your partner, Do You Feel That? offers grounded, real-world conversations to help couples grow together. New episodes every week.

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