I Hate You. What's For Dinner?

Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan
  • 5.0 (7)
  • Self-Improvement

On I Hate You. What's For Dinner? we explore whether childhood explains everything. We'll ask our biggest questions about love and hate, rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up. Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general.

  1. Jun 4

    Ep 12 - The Body Says NO: Casey Ehrlich on PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)

    All of us have some level of innate desire for autonomy and equality. But for some, the need for autonomy and equality tangles with Survival Brain in ways that have major impacts on their well-being, even overriding basic survival needs like food, sleep, hygiene, or physical safety. Though it can sometimes look that way from the outside, PDA (Persistent Drive for Autonomy or Pathological Demand Avoidance) is not just a knee-jerk, “You can’t tell me what to do!” PDA causes outsized reactions to perceived threats–threats which can be invisible or confusing to parents, educators, and therapists.     Today’s guest, PDA expert Casey Ehrlich, defines PDA as a nervous system disability that requires a holistic approach that goes beyond in-the-moment behavioral intervention. In our conversation, she movingly recounts how her personal experience raising children with PDA caused her to turn her research background to understanding what PDA is and developing and validating an approach to managing this challenging disorder. And we talk about PDA’s impacts on kids and families, what makes it so mind-bending for outsiders, and how sometimes disrupting and confronting systems can be a benefit of having a PDA brain. Listen to the full episode to hear: Why Casey defines PDA as a neurotype separate from other kinds of demand avoidance seen with autism, executive dysfunction, or anxietyFive common elements of PDA that can help parents identify and differentiate it from other concernsHow PDA-ers’ orientation toward autonomy, equality, and justice can become a source of personal and community strengthHow a drive for autonomy can show up with other neurotypes, and when it crosses into PDACasey’s experience navigating two very different presentations of PDA and burnout with her two kidsTools for parents to observe patterns and collect data, (mostly) keep their cool, leave space for their own feelings, and protect their boundaries and sense of self Learn more about Casey Ehrlich, PhD: At Peace ParentsInstagram: @atpeaceparentsFacebook: @atpeaceparentsYouTube: @atpeaceparents At Peace Parents Podcast Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: PDA North AmericaPDA SocietyRabbi ShoshanaAmanda Diekman | Low Demand ParentingWhat is DIRFloortime?

    1h 5m

  2. May 21

    Ep 11 - Toward What Matters: Sarah Markowitz on CBT, Values, and Choice

    There are many ways to do therapy, and many reasons why people gravitate to certain modalities, both as patients and practitioners.  And while there are some who will insist that their way is the way, we’re happy to acknowledge where our preferred methods overlap and diverge with others, and how different therapies can help people arrive at the same place of better self-understanding and moving through the world with more ease.  Today, we’re chatting with Gillian’s longtime friend and Cognitive Behavioral Therapist extraordinaire, Sarah Markowitz. We get into what’s similar in CBT and a psychodynamic approach, what’s different, and why these schools of therapy tend to appeal to certain people. We also talk about the tricky balancing act between direction and curiosity for therapists, educators, and parents when engaging kids on behavioral change. Listen to the full episode to hear: How Sarah investigates resistance to change from a stance that is both directive and client-centeredHow building experience as therapists leads to more overlap in our approaches than notThe layers of thoughts, rules, and core beliefs that CBT uncovers over timeHow both therapists and parenting advice have shifted to be more descriptive than directiveHow Sarah’s logical, but not rigid, household, along with swimming, summer camp, and horses, shaped her ability to self-regulate and her default state under stress  Learn more about Sarah Markowitz: MindWell Psychology Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: EP 06 - Trickle Up!: Ron Williams On Purpose, Legacy, And Spreading AbundanceAcceptance and commitment therapyDialectical behavior therapyMarsha M. LinehanAaron BeckAdult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD Dr. Ross GreeneEP 09 - Fear, Resistance, And Flow: Paula Tursi On Letting Parenting HappenEP 08 - Keeping It Authentic (And Surprising): Dr. Matt Morrison On Raising Kids And TherapistsDr. Russ Harris

    1h 6m

  3. May 7

    Ep 10 - A Theory of Everything: The Primary Colors of Emotional Experience

    It might sound silly, or even impossible, to have a theory of everything that might show up in our clinical work. And yet, when we’re sitting with people who are stuck or sitting with people that are suffering, so often it comes back to one of a few fundamental feelings, and all of the emotional gradations that come from them: safety, grief, and shame. Today, we’re digging into these emotional primary colors that are at the root of so much of what we see in our clinical practices, how they show up and shape family dynamics, and how our personal experiences shape the lens that we bring to our work and how we frame the world. Listen to the full episode to hear: The patterns of behavior shaped by safety and belonging that Gillian recognized in her clients as parallels from her childhoodWhy nurturing an environment that is consistently safe and loving is a lot harder than it soundsHow feelings of unsafety, grief, and shame show up for parents and kidsHow shame functions as a product of survival fear and also a measure of if we deserve to be seen and lovedWhy family and child counseling often needs to start with the parents and the family system  Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: Extreme - More Than WordsHurvich, Marvin. (2003). The Place of Annihilation Anxieties in Psychoanalytic Theory. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association. 51. 579-616. 10.1177/00030651030510020801. Winnicott, Donald W., 'Fear of Breakdown', in Lesley Caldwell, and Helen Taylor Robinson (eds), The Collected Works of D. W. Winnicott: Volume 6, 1960-1963 (New York, 2016Melanie KleinDonald WinnicottEp 09 - Fear, Resistance, and Flow: Paula Tursi on Letting Parenting HappenTrauma and Recovery The Aftermath of Violence–From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror, Judith L. Herman, MDThe Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Bessel van der Kolk, MDWilfred Bion

    55 min

  4. Apr 23

    Ep 09 - Fear, Resistance, and Flow: Paula Tursi on Letting Parenting Happen

    Fear has a way of obstructing our development as people, as parents, and partners and friends. Our anxieties make us grasp for control when what we really need to do is get out of the way and let things unfold. Easier said than done.  Today, we have Gillian’s dear friend and “soul mother,” Paula Tursi, with us. Paula is a New York-based yoga and meditation teacher, spiritual guide, writer and thinker who is at once deeply spiritual and highly pragmatic. In our conversation, we talk about the role of fear in the challenges we face, how she transformed her relationship to fear, and how getting out of our own way can change our lives and our parenting.  Listen to the full episode to hear: Defining the roots of fear through the lens of survival and internal resistanceHow the way we’re seen in childhood ripples through our lives, for good and illHow the way we assign meaning to our visceral feelings impacts how we live and parentBalancing parental guardrails and trusting kids to know themselves and what they needHow accepting where we are in the moment helps us move forward and live more fullyHow to show kids they’re loved, safe, and seen even at the hardest moments Learn more about Paula Tursi: WebsiteInstagram: @paula_tursi_life_designLearn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychologyConnect with Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan

    1h 8m

  5. Apr 9

    Ep 08 - Keeping it Authentic (and Surprising): Dr. Matt Morrison on Raising Kids and Therapists

    Establishing safety and trust is how we create connections and personal change, in therapy and in life. If we aren’t open to new experiences or perspectives, it’s a lot harder for any of us to get to all the good, gushy, connected stuff that helps us grow.  Today, we're with our friend and colleague, Dr. Matt Morrison, who is the training director of Long Island University's Psychological Services Center. Matt brings his experience supervising student psychologists and joins us to talk about his work on the therapeutic stance (aka how to be as a therapist). We get into how discipline and discovery in the therapeutic relationship counteract anxiety and fear, how that connects with stepping out of self-fulfilling prophecies and allowing for surprise in parent-child relationships, and the advice we’d give to student and early-career therapists. Matt also shares his experiences of growing up with a depressed parent, how being the center of a parent’s world creates pressure and conflict, and how honesty and hanging in there together can bring healing to the relationship. Listen to the full episode to hear: The basics requirements of a therapeutic stance that promotes reflection, positive risk-taking, and changeWhy therapy and parenting require a capacity for surprise, along with discipline How anxiety blocks coming from a stance of curiosity as therapists and parentsThe challenge of balancing curiosity and honesty in relationshipsHow developing self-awareness of our internal competing interests builds agency to create changeHow Matt’s parents modeled honesty and willingness to engage in conflict, even at the toughest times Learn more about Dr. Matt Morrison: Connect on LinkedInLearn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan

    1h 6m

  6. Mar 26

    Ep 07 - Getting the Grown Ups to Listen: Bradley Tusk on What Really Matters in Parenting and Politics

    Ask any activist or philanthropist why they do what they do, and they’ll likely have a story about why they care so deeply about their causes. Sometimes those stories go even deeper than they consciously realize. Today’s guest, Bradley Tusk, philanthropist, venture capitalist, author, and one of Rob’s dearest friends, is committed to ending childhood hunger and saving democracy through mobile voting. Our conversation delves into progressive politics and the tensions that can exist between implementing policy and lived realities, especially in schools.  And while it does get heated, we ultimately uncover a deeper, more vulnerable understanding of the parts of Bradley’s story that motivate him to do this work. Per usual, it comes back to childhood.   Listen to the full episode to hear: What working in city and state government in his 20s taught Bradley about tangible impacts and the psychology of politiciansHow social inadequacy, superiority, and othering show up across the political spectrumThe challenges Bradley sees to government that more effectively and equitably serves its constituentsThe tension between the needs of students and the needs of teachers and administrators in educational policy and fundingBreaking down the roots of Bradley’s intense motivation to put children first, politically and personally   How mobile voting could bring real constituent accountability to politics Learn more about Bradley Tusk: WebsiteSubstackConnect on LinkedIn Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: Solving HungerThe Mobile Voting Project

    1h 8m

  7. Mar 12

    Ep 06 - Trickle Up! Ron Williams on Purpose, Legacy, and Spreading Abundance

    Survival brain impacts the way we parent, and in many ways, it’s the bedrock of our cultural myths. A survival mindset frames the world as a zero-sum game where we have to fight each other for resources. In this model, individualism and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps are the only ways to succeed, and are equated with moral goodness. We see the impacts of survival-based thinking all around us. People seek external, material markers of status and success that have them always reaching for the next thing and, therefore, never reaching satisfaction. Our guest today is Ron Williams, a venture builder, systems thinker, and Gillian's bestie.  Ron’s big idea – that there is enough for all of us and we’re in this together –asks us to rethink our metrics for success to create positive change for individuals and communities. We talk about evolutionary and psychological underpinnings of selfishness and empathy, and swapping out greed with social good. Listen to the full episode to hear: How zero-sum, short-term thinking contributes to social instability and unsatisfying lifestylesWhy leaning too hard on one survival strategy often backfires, whether in parenting or in business How the relentless pursuit of money, status, and power breaks down capacities for empathy and connectionWhat it takes to shift the narratives about wealth and status and inspire people to think collectivelyHow Ron’s early exposure to both possibility and inequality in America shaped the ways he questions our systems, and informs how he parentsLearn more about Ron Williams: Co-CreatedConnect on LinkedIn Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan

    1h 1m

  8. Feb 26

    Ep 05 - Connection Is Survival: Parenting for the Loneliness Epidemic with James Ellis

    Human beings need connection. We’re social creatures. But we are increasingly isolated, lonely, and dissatisfied. Today, we’re joined by our friend and colleague James Ellis, who’s here to help us understand the deep cultural roots and uniquely modern influences of our modern loneliness epidemic. This one goes beyond parenting as we dig into the ways our culture narrows our view of who can meet our emotional needs and has us chasing perfection in those relationships.  We also get into why social skills and adaptability are just as–and maybe more–important as good grades for our kids’ futures. We also discuss how loneliness begets violence against the self and others. And of course, we can’t talk about the loneliness epidemic without talking about social media and pop psychology’s impacts on how we relate to each other. Listen to the full episode to hear: Three major factors that have reshaped the social landscape Why we avoid seeking connection, even when we know we want and need itHow our modern illusion of infinite choice turns us into perfection-seekers in relationshipsWhy we have to learn to tolerate disappointment from our loved ones, and how cultivating more close relationships helpsWhy parents need to emphasize soft skills like flexibility, adaptability, and sociability in order to future-proof their kids How forging connections really does boil down to making the effort to show up, over and over again Learn more about James Ellis, PhD: The Loneliness DoctorInstagram: @lonelinessdoctor Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: Melanie KleinDonald Winnicott

    1h 4m
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Trailer

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About

On I Hate You. What's For Dinner? we explore whether childhood explains everything. We'll ask our biggest questions about love and hate, rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up. Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general.

Information

  • Creator
    Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan

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