Do As We Say, Not As They Did

Harris O'Malley Liz Powell
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Biweekly

An unfiltered dating podcast all about love, sex, relationships, and all the ways humans are sometimes really bad at them. Dr. NerdLove and Dr. Liz Powell break down what not do, and what actually works.

  1. 2h ago

    Hard Truths About Male Loneliness

    How do you react when people tell you things you wish you'd never heard? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by Evita Sawyers for a conversation about emotional responsibility, connection, desire, and what happens when people treat others like solutions instead of human beings. First, they wade through a toxic mess where a man learns that his married father is considering buying a house with a woman he's only been seeing for four months. Then, they chat about a post from r/Relationships, where a woman's best friend confesses he's been in love with her for years… even though she's a lesbian. Highlights of the episode: Why the patriarchy harms men, too The line between ethical polyamory and cheating The solution to the male loneliness epidemic Emotional intelligence and good communication aren't things we're born knowing. They take self-awareness, practice, and a willingness to grow. If you're ready to build healthier relationships, this episode is full of practical insights (and maybe an open call to make the Golden Girls for men). Who Is Evita Sawyers and How to Connect Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers is a black, queer, femme, ethical non-monogamy coach, speaker, educator, and author. She is the creator of "Today's Polyamory Reminder," which has inspired over 60,000 followers. She is the author of "A Polyamory Devotional-365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Nonmonogamous". Evita is also the subject of the groundbreaking polyamorous documentary "Poly-Love". Website: https://www.evitasawyers.com/ Threads: https://www.threads.com/@lavitaloca34 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lavitaloca34 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/LavitalocaSawyers Substack: https://lavitalocasawyers.substack.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lavitalocasawyers/  Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome & introducing guest, Evita Sawyers 02:32 - Rebuilding life in your 40s 05:41 - Finding gratitude and joy even when it's hard 09:36 - Optimistic nihilism and what we should expect from each other 14:24 - Wanting a "$1 experience for 15 cents" 16:00 - Modern dating advice, emotional intelligence, and healthy masculinity 18:37 - Patriarchy fails men, too 23:23 - Reddit story #1: r/TrueOffMyChest: "Are my parents in an open relationship?" 28:34 - Ethical non-monogamy vs cheating 34:53 - Self-abandonment and the myth of the midlife crisis 46:38 - Opening a relationship isn't always the answer 51:15 - We're all going to age 54:06 - Men, make friends 01:02:53 - Reddit story #2: r/Relationships: "My male best friend confessed his love, but I'm a lesbian" 01:07:19 - Nice Guy thinking and hidden agendas in friendship 01:13:34 - Unrequited love is yours to grieve 01:18:04 - Can this friendship be saved? 01:26:04 - Stop reading the teal leaves 01:27:25 - "I am worthy of unambiguous desire" 01:31:27 - You don't need to earn love 01:33:38 - Your feelings are your responsibility 01:37:32 - If it isn't a clear yes, it's a no 01:39:43 - Final thoughts: Human beings just want connection 01:43:14 - Where to find Evita, Dr. Liz, and Harris Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

  2. 6d ago

    The Truth About Jealousy in Polyamory

    Have you ever set yourself up to get hurt, but you just couldn't help yourself? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley are joined by the brilliant Jessica Daylover. Polyamorous since 2013, co-author of "Polyamory & Parenthood," and founder of Remodeled Love and the Nuclear Fusion Network, Jessica brings all the insightful commentary on two poly relationship stories that…let's just say aren't exactly set up for success. First up, they hear from a woman devastated to learn her husband called his girlfriend his best lover…which she only found out by going through his phone. Then they get into the weeds of age-gap relationships when they read a post from a 25-year-old whose 49-year-old partner is struggling with jealousy over her 34-year-old partner.  Buckle up for: How the Nuclear Fusion app is helping people learn how to build community A painful reminder that you should never go through your partner's phone, even if you have an "open phone" agreement Building self-worth instead of centering yourself around your partner's relationships How jealousy can get quieter when you get yourself some business  If you're a professional self-saboteur, or you find that the things you're intellectually okay with don't always match up with what your nervous system says, grab a snack, get comfy, and listen up.    Who Is Jessica Daylover and How to Connect Jessica Daylover is an educator, producer, entertainer, mystic, and mother who practices Relationship Anarchy in every area of her life. An entrepreneur since 2008, she is the founder of Remodeled Love, an online platform that helps polyamorous and poly-curious people build relationships that feel safe, sustainable, and free; and Nuclear Fusion Network, a community-building app dedicated to helping people create real, local, interdependent communities rooted in care, courage, and accountability. Jessica's work is rooted in expanding the cultural narrative on love, family, and parenthood—an expression of her Sagittarius Sun paired with a Cancer Moon and Ascendant, and a deep belief that connection is the true elixir of life. Website: https://www.remodeledlove.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/remodeledlove Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/remodeledlove/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/jeswiith1s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RemodeledLove TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@remodeledlove   Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome & introducing Jessica Daylover (Remodeled Love) 04:06 - Nuclear Fusion: an app for building community online 10:28 - The importance of learning how to be part of a village 14:19 - Mental health, nervous systems, and emotional regulation 21:39 - Building community 36:30 - Reddit story #1: "My husband said his girlfriend is his best lover" 39:57 - Best lover doesn't automatically mean best partner 41:52 - Setting yourself up for pain in a relationship 54:45 - How different partners can meet different needs 56:41 - Emotional Aikido 01:00:27 - Reddit story #2: "My 49-year-old partner is jealous of my 34-year-old partner" 01:06:34 - First impression: red flag or not? 01:10:04 - Why age gaps aren't always bad, but they can create problems 01:16:37 - When your values support polyamory, but your nervous system doesn't 01:22:02 - Parallel polyamory vs kitchen table polyamory 01:23:48 - You don't need to be perfect 01:27:53 - Taking accountability as the older person in age-gap relationships 01:36:30 - Where to find Jessica Daylover and Remodeled Love 01:39:07 - Where to find Harris and Liz   Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

  3. Jul 22

    Love or Control? AI Girlfriends, Consent, and Polyamory

    Is it better to be in a relationship where you're constantly contorting yourself to avoid saying "no," or one where your partner can't say "no" at all? Trick question. The answer is neither. In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by author, educator, and longtime member of Philadelphia's polyamory community, Kevin Patterson. They read two stories that seem completely unrelated, but share the same uncomfortable truth: relationships stop being healthy when someone else's autonomy disappears. First, they dive into a spectacularly tangled Reddit post where a Dungeons and Dragons group has become a web of people-pleasing, poor communication, and emotional control. Then they discuss a Wired profile of Mystery (a pickup artist who rose to fame in the early 2000s) and his new AI girlfriend, exploring what it means to build intimacy with a partner who can never truly disagree.   Prepare yourself for: Harris' 15 minutes of reality TV fame?!?! The D&D to poly pipeline How control can come from someone who acts like the victim The appeal (and danger) of a frictionless or only friction relationship The rise and fall of the early 2000s pickup scene Building an AI to train people into being better Healthy boundaries require honest "yes's" and "no's"   From people-pleasing and emotional control to AI companions designed to agree with you, get ready for insightful takes about building healthy relationships that have boundaries, mutual respect, and a willingness to hear (and say) "no."   Who Is Kevin Patterson? Kevin Patterson is a member of the Philadelphia polyamory community. He's been practicing ethical nonmonogamy since August of 2002 after opening up a relationship that eventually became his marriage. Kevin's work focused on polyamorous representation, leading to a blog project, Poly Role Models, the award-winning non-fiction book, Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities, and, along with co-writer Alana Phelan, a sci-fi novel series, For Hire, which centers characters of color as well as other marginalized identities. You can find Kevin at: Website: https://www.kevinapatterson.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/polyrolemodels Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/polyrolemodels/ Twitter: https://x.com/PolyRoleModels Tumblr: https://polyrolemodels.tumblr.com/ Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome and meet Kevin Patterson 02:54 - Books by Kevin Patterson and why representation matters 05:12 - r/RelationshipProblems: a polyamorous D&D disaster 09:16 - Rules vs boundaries 13:53 - First impressions…where do we even begin 16:16 - Why Bark's "yes" isn't safe 20:22 - When consent stops being meaningful 24:19 - You can't control your way out of insecurity 26:11 - The fourth option: break up 30:44 - OP's follow-up 34:23 - Advice for Bark, Thorn, and OP 41:04 - The biggest relationship red flag 42:46 - Mystery has an AI girlfriend 50:26 - Can you really date an AI? 55:06 - Pickup artists and objectification 59:02 - AI can't replace human relationships! 01:03:43 - AI psychosis and loneliness 01:06:14 - Please stop the AI slop 01:11:14 - Building the "perfect partner" 01:13:25 - Black Mirror's artificial intimacy cautionary tale 01:15:35 - What if your friend starts dating an AI? 01:21: 29 - Why you need to watch Chimp Crazy 01:25:32 - Real relationships need friction 01:35:27 - Final thoughts and where to connect with Harris, Liz, and Kevin   Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

  4. Jul 15

    Dating Apps Aren't Keeping You from Finding Love

    Could your biggest obstacle to dating success be the advice you've been following? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley endure the trenches of r/PurplePillDebate, a supposedly neutral subreddit where you somehow end up with advice like "Men, don't talk to women." Huh? According to one self-proclaimed 10, "ugly" men shouldn't bother trying to talk to a woman in person because they simply have no chance. After all, if no one wants to swipe right online, what makes face-to-face any different? And boy howdy, do Harris and Dr. Liz have some thoughts. Tune in for: Dating is not a business, so stop looking for your ROI People can sense desperation, and it's not attractive How misogyny hurts both men and women You'll be more interesting if you're interested in things (genuinely interested) Tom Holland's Umbrella performance is the hottest thing to ever exist Looks are a small part of attraction   Most people just want to make a connection. But they want to make a connection with someone who has hobbies and enjoys things. If you've been striking out in the dating department, take some notes. You just might have been getting advice from the wrong place. Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome! 02:15 - r/PurplePillDebate "Don't Talk to Women in Person" 03:00 - Are dating apps designed to keep you single? 05:28 - Why dating apps are frustrating for everyone 05:49 - What is the "purple pill?" 06:55 - Jumping into u/WoodenHuckleberry693's dating philosophy 09:20 - Please don't look for the ROI in dating 12:23 - Cold approaches vs genuine connections 15:11 - Hobbies aren't pickup opportunities 16:20 - Dating profile choices that turn people away 18:48 - Matches don't equal dates  20:40 - Become a whole person before looking for a partner 23:29 - What actually makes someone interesting? 24:34 - The truth about dating in the 2000s 25:58 - People can tell when you're only there to pick someone up 29:32 - Genuine conversation and connection in action 31:41 - Leaving the conversation can actually increase attraction 36:32 - Non-attachment to the outcome in dating 38:30 - Safety is a foundation of attraction 41:02 - Stop casting people in your fantasy before you've met them 41:56 - The charisma factor 45:51 - The wonders that seeing women as people can do 46:49 - Hobby spaces spot desperation immediately 49:12 - Tom Holland's Umbrella performance is perfect 52:59 - Cynicism is killing your dating life 55:12 - Attraction is so much bigger than physical appearance 59:36 - Most people just want a connection 01:00:55 - Unpack your misogyny 01:08:38 - Be a person worth connecting with 01:10:10 - When to find Harris and Dr. Liz   Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

  5. Jul 8

    Love Isn't Enough to Make a Relationship Work

    Is there a secret formula for healthy, conflict-free relationships? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley have an insightful yap session about why so many people approach dating and relationships like they're trying to solve a logic puzzle, and why that often creates more frustration than it solves. From clients who expect their therapists to "fix them" to people who would do anything to avoid the friction that comes with being around other people, Harris and Liz have a lot to say about what it means to be vulnerable, the necessity of doing hard things, and how therapy is most effective.   Highlights of the episode: Liz's love for Couples Therapy (you should totally add it to your watchlist!) Why love isn't enough to sustain a relationship Breaking up is not failing!!! Harris' boomer opinion about technology…but he's not wrong 😉   Everyone wants the perfect dating advice or script to say, and while Liz and Harris can't promise that, they can promise thoughtful discussion and practical tips to help you nurture healthy relationships.   Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro and welcome 00:45 - People who don't see therapists as human 02:20 - Why understanding why you do something isn't enough to change 03:35 - The biggest myth TV teaches us about therapy 04:20 - Therapists pay attention to how you relate to them as a person 06:15 - Looking for the "right words" instead of real connection 07:30 - Changing your appearance won't fix deeper insecurities 08:00 - How watching Couples Therapy exposes relationship pitfalls 11:30 - Why people search for loopholes instead of accountability 15:56 - Why so many people want therapy to "fix" their partner 17:35 - Couples therapy isn't appropriate for abusive relationships 19:25 - How manipulative people can pull therapists into unhealthy dynamics 21:20 - "The yogurt isn't the problem" and seeing the bigger picture 23:10 - Dating while neurodivergent 25:00 - Why pretending to be someone else hurts future relationships 26:30 - Objecting to a marriage 29:10 - Love isn't enough to make people compatible 30:40 - Waiting for someone to change vs. accepting reality 32:10 - Why we stay in relationships long after we should leave 34:10 - Healthy relationships can end and still be successful 35:30 - It's okay to be the "villain" in someone else's story 38:55 - You can't control how other people feel about you 40:05 - Clean endings hurt less than prolonged suffering 40:55 - Technology has lowered our tolerance for discomfort 42:45 - Conflict already exists, you don't create it by speaking up 44:00 - Learning to tolerate friction in relationships 46:15 - Generational differences, boredom, and resilience 50:22 - There is no perfect relationship formula 52:10 - The limits of logic in relationships 54:00 - The Imago exercise from Cultivating Connections 57:20 - ADHD, executive dysfunction, and why "lazy" isn't the whole story 1:00:30 - Everyone wants to be understood first 1:02:00 - Dating doesn't need more buzzwords 1:04:40 - Purity culture, loopholes, and relationship myths 1:06:00 - Growing up through moral panics 1:09:45 - Final dating takeaways and relationship recommendations 1:13:30 - Where to find Harris and Dr. Liz   Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

  6. Jul 1

    What Your Jealousy Is Actually Telling You

    Are some people just wired for jealousy, with no hope of changing, or is it actually the check engine light for your relationship? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell discuss Psychology with Dr. Ana's YouTube video, "Turns Out Jealousy Isn't Always a You Problem." The video reveals research that suggests nearly 40% of jealousy may be driven by relationship dynamics rather than individual personality traits. Harris gets to dust off his English degrees as they talk about the difference between jealousy and envy, and why it's an important distinction to make. They also dig into attachment styles, how insecurity and relationship instability fuel jealousy, and why most of the internet gives truly terrible relationship advice. And between the tangents about Masters of the Universe and psychology deep cuts, they tackle: Whether a relationship can survive cheating Why people cheat (and why that's different from excusing cheating) Adult content and the panic around whether it's cheating Why polyamorous people get jealous too How to communicate difficult emotions without blame   If you've convinced yourself you're doomed to an anxious or avoidant attachment style, or that you'll always be jealous when your partner talks to someone else, give this episode a listen.   Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro and the least subtle transition to jealousy ever 01:21 - Jealousy in non-monogamy 07:05 - Jealousy vs. envy 10:18 - Today's video: "Turns Out Jealousy Isn't Always a You Problem" 12:53 - Emotional jealousy vs cognitive jealousy explained 16:08 - Why men reported higher levels of cognitive jealousy 18:10 - Jealousy as a relationship signal 22:02 - Questions to ask yourself when jealousy shows up 24:18 - Rejection-sensitive dysphoria and fear of abandonment 25:09 - Can relationships recover after cheating? 34:19 - What unmet needs can teach us about infidelity 40:24 - Values, accountability, and understanding why cheating happens 41:26 - Emotional intelligence skills we all need to learn 42:33 - A polyamory case study: when jealousy points to a real problem 47:05 - Attachment styles and relationship dynamics 52:58 - Why emotional intelligence should be taught in schools 54:20 - Building secure attachment in relationships 56:12 - Why most of the internet gives terrible relationship advice 01:02:53 - How to have difficult conversations without blame 01:06:15 - The shame of talking about your desires 01:09:59 - What helps people work through jealousy 01:14:11 - Final thoughts: jealousy is a normal emotion 01:15:10 - Outro and where to find Dr. Liz and Harris   Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

  7. Jun 24

    The Secret Ingredient to Better Intimacy?

    Have you ever thought about how much saliva affects intimacy? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley are joined by Marcin (he/him), founder of Twinkle Tongue, a saliva enhancement product designed to support their body's natural saliva production for a more satisfying and fun bedroom experience. Together, they discuss two Reddit posts, one from a woman whose headgame is literally dry, and someone else who's really, really into spit and interested in hearing other people's perspectives. Plus, we're excited to announce our first-ever podcast giveaway! Thanks to Twinkle Tongue, listeners can enter for a chance to win free product and experience the magic for themselves. 🎁 Enter for a chance to win here: https://gleam.io/BOOPO/twinkle-tongue-giveaway Prepare yourself for: What ADHD meds, Burning Man, and recreational substances have in common Cursed playlists and roommate escapades A thoughtful discussion as to whether Mao or Marx would give good head A reminder that receiving feedback in the bedroom is just as important as giving it This episode jumps into the delightful Reddit rabbit hole of intimacy and offers a chaotic look at something most people never think about until they have to.   Who is Marcin, and what is Twinkle Tongue? Marcin founded Twinkle Tongue after his own experiences with dry mouth in college and Burning Man to naturally enhance saliva production in a portable, easy-to-use product.    Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome and guest introduction 01:05 - Dry mouth and the search for a solution 03:04 - How Burning Man led to the beginning of Twinkle Tongue 05:20 - The science behind saliva optimization 10:30 - Common misconceptions about saliva enhancement 11:45 - Dr. Liz's experiences with Twinkle Tongue 14:24 - Dry mouth outside of the bedroom: medications, health, and quality of life 17:54 - Twinkle Tonue giveaway announcement 19:00 - Reddit post #1: "Dry mouth is ruining my game" 21:45 - Dry mouth, pleasure, and common "solutions" 25:40 - Medical treatments and dry mouth management 28:28 - Communication, assumptions, and feedback in the bedroom 31:40 - Silent partners and roommate stories 39:52 - What dry playtime actually feels like 44:18 - Reddit post #2: "Anyone else really into spit?" 45:12 - Why spit can be so erotic for folks 50:25 - The psychology of sharing saliva 53:20 - Kissing compatibility and making out 57:54 - Why saliva matters in intimacy 01:00:30 - Dry mouth, lubrication, and how our bodies respond 01:04:10 - Anxiety, communication, and confidence in the bedroom 01:06:25 - How to talk about intimacy without making it weird 01:10:30 - Giving and receiving feedback effectively in the bedroom 01:13:48 - Giveaway reminder and where to find Twinkle Tongue 01:15:25 - Where to find Harris and Dr. Liz   Connect with Twinkle Tonue https://twinkletongue.com/ https://www.instagram.com/twinkletongue/ https://www.tiktok.com/@twinkletongue https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100081513310480 Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

  8. Jun 17

    What Do Men Do When Women Don't "Need" Them?

    Does a woman earning more than a man in a relationship make you feel some type of way? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley jump right into The Guardian's article, "Single women are buying more houses. The men they are dating are not responding well," and talk about what happens when women are no longer forced into needing men for financial security, and why some men are responding to that reality very, very badly.  Along the way, Harris and Liz explore the ways in which men are really struggling right now (and why women aren't the problem), how capitalism makes everything worse, and what it would actually take to become the kind of man who can celebrate his partner's success as he would his own.   Stay tuned for: A much-needed deconstruction of the Man Box™ How Fight Club predicted the manosphere Why you're not competing with other daters; you're competing with Dungeon Crawler Carl A deep dive into the 1988 Tom Cruise movie, Cocktail It doesn't matter whether you're buying a house, dating someone who owns one, or just happy you got the rent paid last month; we've got the research, the psychological insight, obscure movie references, and the relationship advice you need. And when you're done listening, check out this article on the Man Box and how to deconstruct harmful or limiting beliefs on masculinity: https://www.nextgenmen.ca/blog/deconstructing-the-man-box   Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome and introductions 00:47 - The Guardian: "Single women are buying more houses" 01:49 - Do men actually want independent women? 05:45 - How Fight Club prophesied the manosphere 07:28 - Why social change is always met with backlash 10:43 - The conservative shift of Gen Z men 14:47 - Are men falling behind, or are women just finally allowed to catch up? 16:28 - Capitalism is the problem 19:27 - Privilege and the ability to handle setbacks 23:49 - The divide between what men think women want vs what they actually want 24:41 - Bay Area real estate 29:22 - The lie of "I love independent women" 30:40 - Are your circumstances unattractive or your attitude toward your circumstances 37:25 - What is the modern paradigm of straight relationships? 39:28 - If being treated like a woman feels bad, what does that say? 41:12 - Research on breanwinner anxiety and men's stress 44:42 - Men do have problems they need to solve 47:42 - The "Man Box" 51:00 - The unending concern of men getting less "manly" 55:02 - The 4B movement 57:51 - Online dating sucks now 01:00:45 - Being wanted vs being needed 01:02:33 - Tradwives and sacrificing autonomy 01:05:37 - The power dynamic of moving into someone's established space 01:08:54 - It's okay to live separately 01:13:55 - You're not competing with other men, you're competing with Dungeon Crawler Carl 01:14:40 - Read more, go to therapy 01:15:23 - Where to find Dr. Liz and Harris Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

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An unfiltered dating podcast all about love, sex, relationships, and all the ways humans are sometimes really bad at them. Dr. NerdLove and Dr. Liz Powell break down what not do, and what actually works.

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