Share the Pants: Dating, Marriage & Everything in Between

Joel Everitt + Nicole Powers
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Married couple, Nicole and Joel, discuss all things love and relationship.

  1. 3d ago

    Stop Calling All Romantic Chemistry a Trauma Response

    Is chemistry the spark that tells you you’ve found someone special… or a warning sign? Dating advice seems to have split into two camps: chemistry is everything or chemistry is just your trauma dressed up in a sexy outfit. We don’t buy either one. In this episode, we’re talking about what romantic chemistry actually is, the different ways it can show up, and why the same rush that feels incredible with one person can lead you straight into a shit show with another. We also get into whether chemistry can grow over time, why compatibility alone isn’t enough for the kind of relationship we want, and how attraction can increase or disappear as you discover who someone really is. Plus, Joel puts me on the spot with a list of supposed “red flag” chemistry signs, from instant obsession and intense passion to oversharing and feeling anxious or off balance. Because sometimes those butterflies really are butterflies. And sometimes... they’re f*****g bats. If you’ve ever wondered whether you should trust the chemistry you feel, give it time to grow, or run in the opposite direction, this episode is for you. Did this conversation bring up a question about chemistry in your own love life? Submit it here and we may answer it on an upcoming episode of Share the Pants. Send us Fan Mail Want more dating advice between episodes? Follow Nicole on social media Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers TikTok: @datingpowers

  2. Oct 6

    I Didn’t Let Him Take Me Off the Market Until He Answered These Questions

    What should you know about someone before you agree to become exclusive? When Joel told me after just three dates that he wasn’t interested in dating anyone else, I wasn’t quite ready to commit.  I liked him... a lot!  But I had made the mistake of being someone's girlfriend without knowing what I was actually signing up for one too many times. So I had questions. In this episode, we’re pulling out actual text messages from the beginning of our courtship and revealing some of the questions I asked Joel before we became exclusive, from social media habits to plans for the future. But this isn’t just a list of dating questions to steal. We’re talking about how to use what went wrong in your past relationships to uncover what you need to know about the person you are dating. Questions aren't the only way to get the clarity you need, so we also discuss the difference between what you should ask, what you should tell, and what you should simply observe. If you’re dating someone you could see yourself getting serious with, this episode will help you figure out what you need to know before you say yes. Dating dilemma? Relationship question? Something you want to hear the two of us hash out? Send it our way. It might just become an episode of Share the Pants. Send us Fan Mail Want more dating advice between episodes? Follow Nicole on social media Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers TikTok: @datingpowers

  3. Sep 29

    How Do You Make the Mindset Shift From Dating to Marriage?

    A lot of the problems couples encounter in marriage could have been addressed while they were still dating. In this episode of Share the Pants, a listener asks us what changed when we went from just figuring out whether we were compatible to getting marriage and making life decisions together. We talk about why dating intentionally made the transition into marriage feel surprisingly natural for us, and why the conversations people are often afraid will make dating feel “too serious” might actually be the ones that make partnership easier later. We also get into what happens when we disagree on a major topic, including a recent intense discussion we had about whether to sell one of our cars. Plus: • Why compatibility matters long after the chemistry kicks in • The relationship skill most people don’t practice enough while dating • How we make decisions when one of us cares more than the other • The difference between compromise and sacrificing too much of yourself • Why loving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you can build a life together • What to do when you and your spouse have grown in different directions • Why sometimes there’s you, there’s them… and then there’s the relationship you’re building together Because maybe the shift from dating to marriage isn’t supposed to happen at the altar. Maybe you start building the marriage long before anyone says “I do.” Want to hear us talk about a specific dating, relationship, or marriage topic on the podcast? Submit your listener question and you might hear us answer it on an upcoming episode. Send us Fan Mail Want more dating advice between episodes? Follow Nicole on social media Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers TikTok: @datingpowers

  4. Sep 22

    3 Common Pieces of Marriage Advice We Don’t Follow

    Some marriage advice gets repeated so often, we stop questioning whether it actually works. In this episode of Share the Pants, Joel and Nicole pull out one of their favorite wedding gifts:  a journal filled with marriage advice from friends, family, and even complete strangers.  They unpack some of the most common pieces of advice they got and why certain advice sounds great in theory but doesn’t actually work for them.  But this isn’t an episode about declaring traditional marriage advice wrong. It’s about something much more useful: figuring out what actually creates a healthy marriage for the two people living in it. They also talk about: • Why repair matters more than rushing to resolve a conflict • The difference between being best friends and romantic partners • Why dating your spouse matters after the wedding • What it means to treat marriage like a team sport • How supporting each other can look different depending on who needs to be carried that day • Why love, rather than a specific set of rules, sits at the center of our marriage Because the best marriage advice might not be a rule you blindly follow. It might be learning how to build a marriage that actually works for you. And yes, there’s more advice in that journal. So we’ll probably be pulling it back out again. Want some advice on your relationship from our perpective?  Send your questions our way. We might answer it on a future episode of Share the Pants. Send us Fan Mail Want more dating advice between episodes? Follow Nicole on social media Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers TikTok: @datingpowers

  5. Sep 15

    He Showed Up Shirtless on Their First FaceTime. What Should She Do?

    Nicole and Joel tackle a listener question about a man who decided the way to make a good first impresion was to show up on FaceTime... in bed... with his shirt off. Was it inappropriate? What do you actually say when a man does something that immediately makes you think, “Yeah, this isn’t for me”? They talk about: • Whether you should FaceTime or have a phone call before meeting someone in person • Why Nicole preferred to keep her phone number private until after the first date • What happens when a man pushes past a boundary instead of respecting it • Unsolicited dick pics and requests for sexy photos • What “negging” is and why deliberately making someone insecure is not flirting • How attraction tactics designed to create insecurity can turn dating into a power struggle • When ghosting is actually appropriate • How long you need to date someone before a breakup deserves a phone call or conversation • And the big one: why women so often talk themselves out of their own discomfort You don't have to prove that someone's behavior was objectively terrible before you're allowed to decide you don't want to date them. Sometimes your immediate reaction of, “Nope,” is enough. Trusting yourself doesn't mean judging someone as a "good" or "bad." It means recognizing when someone's behavior doesn't work for you and having the confidence to walk away. And yes, Nicole and Joel have a few things to say to the men sending unsolicited dick pics, too. Send us your dating and relationship questions HERE!  Send us Fan Mail Want more dating advice between episodes? Follow Nicole on social media Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers TikTok: @datingpowers

  6. Sep 8

    What Makes a Man Want a Second Date? My Husband Answers

    What actually makes a man want a second date? Nicole puts her husband Joel in the hot seat to get the male perspective on one of dating’s most frustrating questions: Why didn't he ask me out again? Joel’s answer might surprise you because it’s nowhere near as complicated as women tend to make it. They talk about what men are actually looking for on a first date, why you don’t need instant sparks or a perfect performance, and why an awkward first date isn’t necessarily a bad date.  Nicole also shares the story of a client who came to her convinced she was bad at first dates because she hadn't been on a second date in forever, and what they found when they took a closer look at what was actually happening.  Plus, Nicole and Joel get into the danger of overanalyzing a first date, whether chemistry can grow, why intense sparks can sometimes lead you straight into a toxic relationship, and the truly unhinged first date that ended with an ex-girlfriend showing up at his apartment and breaking shit.  If you’ve ever replayed a first date wondering What did I do wrong?, this one is for you. Sometimes it really is just a first date. Have a dating or relationship question you want Nicole and Joel to tackle on the podcast? Submit your question and it might be featured in a future episode.  Send us Fan Mail Want more dating advice between episodes? Follow Nicole on social media Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers TikTok: @datingpowers

  7. Sep 1

    The Relationship Lessons Hidden in MAFS Season 20

    What can a reality TV experiment where strangers get married teach you about choosing a partner, creating emotional safety, and knowing when to stop trying to make a relationship work? A LOT. In this episode of Share the Pants, Nicole and Joel break down the MAFS Season 20 finale and the relationship lessons hiding underneath all the drama, questionable decisions, and one hell of a pickleball obsession. We’re talking about: • Why Cameron and Michelle were the only couple who seemed to understand what makes a relationship actually feel safe • The difference between asking your partner for what you need and trying to change them into the person you want • Why you cannot coach someone into being your person • How criticizing and nitpicking your partner can make emotional vulnerability almost impossible • The difference between high standards and unrealistic expectations • Why dating is a dojo: sometimes you don't know what matters to you until you experience what doesn't work • How self-abandonment can sneak in right when you're about to choose yourself • When a lack of attraction is a mountain you can't climb and when it's just a hill • Why talking shit about your partner to other people can quietly sabotage your relationship • And what Nicole learned about herself when predicting which couples would make it Plus, we revisit the couples we got right, the ones we got wrong, and the MAFS moments that had us yelling at the television. Full spoilers for MAFS Season 20. If you watch reality TV for the drama and love dissecting what the hell is actually happening underneath it, this one's for you. Got a dating, relationship, or marriage question you want Nicole and Joel to answer on the podcast? Submit your listener question and you might hear it answered on a future episode of Share the Pants. We love getting into the messy, complicated, hilarious, and occasionally unhinged relationship questions you’re actually dealing with. Send us Fan Mail Want more dating advice between episodes? Follow Nicole on social media Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers TikTok: @datingpowers

  8. Aug 25

    Relationship Anxiety: Is It Intuition or Fear?

    You really like him. He’s kind, emotionally available, respectful, consistent, and everything seems to be going right. So why are you still wondering, Is this really my person? 💌 Have a dating or relationship question you want Nicole and Joel to answer on the podcast? We love getting into the real-life dating and relationship questions you’re actually wrestling with. Send us yours, and it could be featured on a future episode of Share the Pants. 👉 Submit your listener question HERE  Now, back to today's question...  In this episode of Share the Pants, Nicole and Joel get brutally honest about the doubts and anxiety they each experienced while falling in love and deciding whether they were truly right for each other. Joel shares why he was actually afraid to swipe right on Nicole in the first place, what made him question whether he was ready for a serious relationship, and the moment he finally knew he wanted to marry her. Nicole shares the very different experience of knowing almost immediately that Joel was her person while still gathering the evidence she needed to trust that intuition. She also reveals the surprising moment when she wondered if she might get bored in their relationship but realized she wasn't bored at all. She was learning what it felt like to be safe. Together, they unpack one of the hardest questions in dating: How do you know if your relationship anxiety is intuition telling you something is wrong or fear asking you to run from something that is actually good for you? You’ll hear them talk about: Why having doubts doesn't automatically mean you're with the wrong personThe difference between intuition, anxiety, and overthinkingWhy a healthy relationship can initially feel unfamiliar or even boringHow your past relationships can influence what you expect love to feel likeWhy vulnerability can be one of the best tests of a relationshipHow your partner responds when you share your fears and insecuritiesWhy conflict can actually give you important information about a relationshipHow to tell whether a question about your relationship is really about him or about youWhy you don't need 100% certainty to keep moving toward deeper commitmentAnd perhaps most importantly, Nicole and Joel talk about the data points that helped them move from “I think this person might be the one” to “I know I can build a life with this person.” Because the goal isn't to eliminate every doubt. It's to learn how to listen to yourself without letting fear make the decision for you. If you've ever wondered “Is this relationship anxiety or my intuition?”, “How do I know if he's the right person?”, or “Why am I questioning a relationship that's actually going well?”... this conversation is for you. Share the Pants is a podcast about dating, love, marriage, and what actually happens when two people stop trying to follow the rules and start figuring out what works for them. Send us Fan Mail Want more dating advice between episodes? Follow Nicole on social media Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers TikTok: @datingpowers

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Married couple, Nicole and Joel, discuss all things love and relationship.

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