Children of the Forum

Lindsey Hartzel
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Mental Health

Stories from growing up in est/Landmark Education. Looking at what the "technology" does to a developing brain, nervous system, and identity.

Episodes

  1. Oct 23

    Dr. Glenn Doyle - Emotional Porn and the Landmark Forum

    In today’s episode, I’m talking with Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays, a psychologist and expert in C-PTSD and addiction. If you’re in the trauma world online, you’ve probably read his no-nonsense Instagram posts, where he manages to see into the hearts, minds, and needs of trauma victims within just a few sentences. Today, I’m telling Dr. Doyle pieces of my story: a traumatic childhood involving sexual abuse and early drug use, and how, at age 14, I was put into an adult Landmark Forum to handle the problems I was having. While it feels scary as hell to open up wounds on the internet, I want people to be able to see that it’s not just the ideas inside the course, but the whole style of the course (LGAT - Large Group Awareness Training) that is not suited for anyone with C/PTSD, let alone a child. I also want people to see how someone can feel like something is benefiting them while actually being hurt by it. We went through several specific ideas inside the Landmark lexicon and looked at whether they helped me, hurt me, or both. I deeply appreciate Dr. Doyle’s insights as well as his humor, as he equates Landmark’s “distinctions” (concepts) like 100% Responsibility and Completing the Past to hot psychological fantasies. He calls it “emotional porn… the idea that we have complete control over the matrix.” There are so many enlightening moments in this conversation. And despite the heavy subject matter, we manage to laugh a fair bit. I really hope you learn something from the episode. Thank you for tuning in. Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of child sexual abuse and neglect. Listener discretion is advised.

    Dr. Glenn Doyle - Emotional Porn and the Landmark Forum

  2. Oct 11

    Katharine - Revered At Landmark, Feared At Home: Surviving Her Father's “Werner /God /Guru” Complex

    What happens when a child grows up inside a world where enrollment into "personal development" seminars matters more than anything else? In this episode of Children of the Forum, Katharine shares her experience growing up in a family immersed in Landmark Education, where there was no separation between home life and her father’s obsession with “the work.” There was no space for her to simply be a child. No place to feel safe. Hiding behind the language of transformation and breakthrough, her childhood was shaped by emotional neglect, conditional love, and the constant demand to “volunteer” at Landmark programs. While her father was deeply admired inside Landmark culture, life at home told a very different story. Katharine talks about being conditioned to prioritize adults over herself and distrust her own instincts. She describes the pressure to perform, the confusion of being exposed to adult dynamics far too young, and the emotional consequences of constantly seeking approval in an environment shaped by coercion and control. This is not just a conversation about Landmark Education. It’s about what happens to children raised inside environments where emotional control replaces safety and attunement. And how conditioning children to override their instincts can leave them vulnerable long after they leave home. If you grew up around high-demand groups, narcissistic family systems, or coercive self-help culture, this story may feel painfully familiar.

    Katharine - Revered At Landmark, Feared At Home: Surviving Her Father's “Werner /God /Guru” Complex

  3. Oct 11

    Ann Betz - How Harmful Programming Can Rewire Your Mind and Derail Your Life

    In this episode of Children of the Forum, I speak with Ann Betz about neuroscience, trauma, identity, and the hidden ways high-control environments can influence the mind. Ann talks about her own experience inside est and what she came to understand later through the lens of neuroscience and human development. She explains how stress and unresolved trauma can narrow perception, reinforce survival reflexes, and make people more vulnerable to rigid belief systems and manipulation. Ann was introduced to est through The Hunger Project in the early 80’s. It’s mission was to end world hunger by getting enough people to ‘will’ it. And how they willed it was by having strangers sign little cards that had their contact information on them. She became so enamored with “the work” that she dropped out of college to be able to spend more time at the New York est center. Leading to other life choices that weren't the best for her. We also explore why so many intelligent, high-functioning people can spend years in personal growth spaces while still feeling disconnected from themselves. If you’ve ever left a personal development space feeling confused or ashamed, this conversation might resonate.

    Ann Betz - How Harmful Programming Can Rewire Your Mind and Derail Your Life

  4. Oct 11

    Brandon - From Poster Child to Problem: How Questioning the System Makes You the Issue

    Brandon began Landmark programs at just 13 years old and quickly became a success story within the organization. But the deeper he went, the more he began to see things that didn’t line up with the promises of personal and global transformation. And when he started asking questions and raising concerns, Brandon says the response wasn’t reflection or change - it was gaslighting. He was told the problem was with him. Over and over again. In this episode of Children of the Forum, Lindsey speaks with Brandon about his journey through Landmark - what began as a seemingly empowering personal development experience eventually became something much more complicated. Brandon shares what it was like to grow up in and around Landmark, the pressure he says he felt to recruit friends, their parents, and even teachers, and the culture inside the organization once he began working for them. This conversation explores identity formation, manipulation, accountability, and the power of trusting your instincts - even when a system insists you’re the one who’s wrong. If you’ve ever questioned an organization that told you the problem was you, this conversation will resonate. Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of sexual abuse of a child and high-control group dynamics. Listener discretion is advised.

    Brandon - From Poster Child to Problem: How Questioning the System Makes You the Issue

  5. Oct 10

    Marlo - Abandoned for Transformation: How I Lost My Mom to Landmark Education

    In this first episode of Children of the Forum, we look at what happens when a company that teaches responsibility and integrity doesn’t apply those same principles to itself. My guest, Marlo, shares openly what it was like being raised by a single mother who was deeply indoctrinated into Landmark Education's "transformational philosophy." It promised integrity and full self expression but in reality created emotional distance and life long wounds. Marlo was left to navigate controlling, confusing, and traumatizing environments with very little support. When she struggled, her pain was reframed by the adults at Landmark as resistance, negativity, or personal failure. She shares heartbreaking accounts of feeling abandoned, blamed, and gaslit. I'm so glad Marlo and I connected. Knowing I'm not alone in feeling like my time at Landmark did far more damage than good has been so incredibly healing for me, and for the other COTF I've spoken with as well. If anyone else grew up in est or Landmark and you would like to share your story, please do reach out. I'm @children_of_the_forum on Instagram and am so glad you've found us here. Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of verbal abuse, sexual abuse of a child, emotional neglect, and high-control group dynamics. Listener discretion is advised.

    Marlo - Abandoned for Transformation: How I Lost My Mom to Landmark Education
  • 5 Episodes

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Stories from growing up in est/Landmark Education. Looking at what the "technology" does to a developing brain, nervous system, and identity.

Information

  • Creator
    Lindsey Hartzel
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    5
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Lindsey Hartzel
  • Show Website
    Children of the Forum

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