It's Gonna Be Ok‪!‬ Dr. Roseann Capanna Hodge

Kids dealing with impulse control issues are prone to depression as they are constantly being told what is wrong about them and they are never told what’s right. These impulse control issues can affect various aspects of their lives, from school performance to social interactions. 
As a result, many parents turn to medication because they feel like they have no choice but that shouldn’t be the case. In today’s episode, we’ll be talking about the strategies for impulse control and how we can help our kids put those brakes on.
People with ADHD have impulse control issues but not everybody who has impulse control issues has ADHD. 
Impulse control issues are part of ADHD but not everybody who struggles with their impulse control has ADHD. Sometimes, you can see impulse control problems in people with anxiety, OCD, autism, and other mood disorders.
When I do a brain map of somebody who has impulse control issues, it's like on fire because they've worn out their brake pads and that’s what we want to target for improvement. That behavioral disinhibition – not being able to put the brakes on – is the foundation for learning and executive functioning. 
How does lack of impulse control affect us every day?
When we overreact, everything is at a heightened level, triggering the emotional center of our limbic system called the amygdala. As such, we can go into a fight, flight or freeze mode. And when that happens, you can have impulsive reactions.
Because of that, we’re hindered from doing things in the right manner. It’s even more challenging for kids as they struggle with regulating their frontal lobes. As a result, it can strain their relationships with others as they react impulsively. 
Most of the time, kids are not comfortable with their body. This can manifest as clumsiness, poor coordination, or struggles with fine motor skills. They would find it difficult listening or focusing. They can even have problems transitioning from a task to another as their impulse control issues can interfere with concentration, focus, and task completion.
What are the strategies for impulse control?
That’s why it’s important to reinforce the positive behaviors we want to see in our kids and we need consistency to do that. But first things first, we have to calm the brain. There are many ways on how we can achieve that which we have already discussed in our previous episodes. 
It is also important that we, as parents, regulate ourselves because our kids regulate themselves off us. As we know, kids learn a lot by observing and copying the actions and behaviors of their parents. And when we show them how important it is to regulate ourselves by managing our emotions, they’ll learn effective strategies for emotional regulation.
Making your kids do mindfulness-based activities significantly improves their behavior and their overall well-being. This practice can enhance children's ability to sustain attention and concentrate on tasks. Connecting them with nature also helps them regulate their nervous system and boosts their focus. 
As we’ve mentioned, they have difficulty transitioning from one task to another. That is why we have to break down the tasks for them and show them the steps on what to do. Most of the time, we tend to assume that these kids already know what to do when in fact, they don’t.
Impulsive kids feel terrible about themselves and are prone to depression as they are constantly being told what is wrong about them and they are never told what’s right. As a result, many parents turn to medication because they feel like they have no choice but that shouldn’t be the case. 
For more information, you can read this blog post: a href="https://drroseann.com/how-to-deal-with-impulsive-behavior/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

Sometimes, kids don’t know how to process their emotions, particularly when things get a little too overwhelming. That is why we have been emphasizing in our previous episodes how important emotional regulation is when our kids exhibit behaviors that tend to trigger our frustration. 
In this episode, we’ll be focusing on fostering emotional regulation and how we can support our kids who are emotionally dysregulated to reinforce the positive behaviors we want to inculcate in them. 
Fostering emotional regulation even for super dysregulated kids.
Fostering emotional regulation doesn’t have a limit; we can also teach even the super dysregulated kids how to regulate themselves and reduce dysregulated behaviors. 
And when we speak of a dysregulated brain, we also have to gloss over the stimulated, sympathetic, dominant brain – a brain that’s in a red or overactive state – which is the main driver of many unwanted behaviors. 
The beauty of a QEEG brain map, which has been such a helpful tool for us, is that we are able to see what’s really going on in the brain. It shows us which areas of the brain are overstimulated and under stimulated which gives us an idea how to treat the patient. Thus, we get to reduce dysregulation and prevent the brain from constantly going into an overactive state. 
Managing stress and supporting your child.
It’s important for parents to self-regulate because our children regulate themselves off us. You have to learn proper stress management to be able to share your calmness with your child to help them manage their stress levels. We can do this by using positive communication which is not always easy. It requires patience, consistency and commitment. 
And although there are options available for you like using our Calm PEMF device or undergoing our program, these efforts will be of no use if you don’t try to work things out as a family. Our kids need our support throughout everything as much as possible. By helping our kids do better, we are also helping ourselves. 
How to deal with low frustration tolerance.
We’ve already mentioned how important it is to self-regulate and manage your own stress to be able to support your child properly. Now, the next strategy you can do is to teach them coping skills.
Kids have a low frustration tolerance compared to adults which is why we need to teach them how to deal with their emotions when things don’t go their way. Teaching them coping skills is crucial not just for their emotional well-being but also for their relationships with others.
Using emotional language with your kids.
Our kids watch every single thing that we do and copy them. That is why we want to use emotional language with our kids which I think is one of the hardest things to do now. 
During the pandemic, people used less emotional language because of how disconnected we are. As we have experienced, the pandemic brought about significant changes including social distancing, work from home, online classes and limited social interactions. 
We started to rely more on technology and the power of social media, which may have affected the way people express and perceive emotions. As we gradually transition away from the effects of the pandemic, we have to prioritize the use of emotional language to help our children develop a sense of awareness and understanding of their own emotions. 
Using humor to deal with reactive kids.
For me, I try to use humor as much as possible and it has been helpful to calm not just myself but it even diffuses reactive kids a lot. It diffuses tension and strong emotions of our kids and shifts their focus and provides a break from an intense situation.
We have to keep in mind that the more you connect with them, the more they feel safe

Sometimes, we think that our children are too sensitive when they overreact to certain situations, especially when we’re giving them criticisms or feedback. However, there are cases when their reactions and sensitivity are due to a mental health disorder called rejection sensitivity dysphoria. 
In fact, about 70% of those who have ADHD are also diagnosed with rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). That’s why it’s important for us to learn more about rejection sensitivity dysphoria as it remains unknown to many. 
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is a clinical issue.
Most people don’t have any idea what rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is, which is why we’re here to shed light on the matter because it is a newer issue that’s not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is a clinical issue wherein an individual exhibits overly emotional reactions to criticisms or rejections whether real or perceived. They usually get too worried about being rejected or criticized by others causing them to be avoidant. 
What are the signs and symptoms of ADHD?
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that greatly affects an individual’s behavior in many ways. Kids with ADHD have sudden outbursts and some situations overwhelm them easily.
Parenting becomes even more challenging when you’re parenting kids with ADHD and RSD. You have to have your A game parenting skills on and have everything together because these kids are very sensitive.
What are the signs and symptoms of RSD?
Sudden outbursts are the most common sign of RSD. Another is being emotionally overwhelmed all of a sudden. Kids with RSD often have low frustration tolerance which makes them easily triggered even by minor things. 
Other than being easily angered or irritated, they have an intense fear of failure or rejection. They are prone to negative thinking and negative self-talk. This fear can be persistent which influences their emotions and behavior. This can also cause constant anticipation of negativity and self-doubt.
How is RSD different from ADHD?
ADHD is a clinical issue that involves impulse control issues, hyperactivity and inattention. An ADHD brain looks different as it tends to have more unfocused brain waves. 
On the other hand, RSD is a specific behavior in relation to the fear of failure, criticism and rejection. An RSD brainwave activity looks different in the limbic system. There is overactivity occurring in the frontal lobes and low activity in the common area of simple reason.  
How is RSD different from a mood disorder?
RSD and ADHD overlap at some point because of emotional regulation but mood disorder and RSD are more overlapping. In fact, symptoms of RSD such as sudden outbursts, low frustration tolerance and mood changes are also common to mood disorder. 
However, the distinguishing characteristic of RSD is that it has a clear trigger but there doesn't always have to be a trigger because the brain gets itself into a state of being overwhelmed or withdrawn. 
In relation to this, we also have to take into consideration other clinical issues like the sensory processing disorder (SPD). We all know that the trigger for SPD is a sensory trigger, whether it be a light, sound or touch, which causes children to have sensory meltdowns.
Cognitive reappraisal is a technique for your negative thinkers.
One of the strategies for managing emotional dysregulation is cognitive reappraisal which is a helpful technique for people who struggle with negative thinking. It restructures one’s way of thinking to change how one should respond to a situation.  
The first step is to identify negative thought...

Often, parents are left wondering what’s wrong with their kid when they have been crying too much or when they are being over-reactive. Many parents seem lost not knowing how to deal with their sensitive kids.
In our previous episodes, we’ve talked about how our kids are not doing these things on purpose. Rather, their brain is acting in a subconscious manner causing them to behave that way. 
Lucky for you, we’re going to discuss parenting and over-reactive kids in today’s episode because if you don’t have your A game on, you’re in deep trouble. 
What is emotional regulation and why is it important?
Emotional regulation is the foundation of everything. It is a person’s ability to manage their own emotional state. In our other episodes, we have been emphasizing the importance of regulating ourselves and our nervous system. 
Thus, if our kids are constantly in a sympathetic, dominant, activated state, it’s going to be quite a challenge making them learn how to regulate. It is understandable that there are going to be moments when we’ll struggle managing our own emotions even as adults but we make use of our learnings about regulation to calm ourselves.
What are signs of emotional dysregulation?
Usually, when our kids are overreacting to situations, their brain – particularly in those areas related to emotions – are overly sensitive. I’ve done many QEEG brain maps and it’s been such a great tool for me because it provides us with clear indications of the communication between and among the different areas of the brain.
You’ll see that they really struggle with the information coming to them. Through the help of our Brain Behavior Reset Program, we’ve helped many clients calm their brain and we’ve taught them how to self-regulate as well. There are many solutions available for you. You can join our group to know more (https://drroseann.com/group).
As we’ve said, kids in a dysregulated brain state tend to be overly sensitive and over-reactive which makes parenting a lot harder. Being in a dysregulated state, kids are often more easily sad and moody. We have to break this cycle because the more the behavior happens, the more likely the nervous system is to repeat it automatically. 
When we’re anxious, we can be more reactive.
When we are anxious, we can be more reactive. Kids these days are diagnosed with oppositinoal defiant disorder and it’s often because they're moody and anxious to begin with. They often experience body pains and other health issues because their internal stress is very high. 
These kids also have a high rate of sensory processing disorder and sensory issues. It is essential to approach these kids with compassion, giving them support and direction that takes into account their emotional and sensory needs.
They also tend to be sensitive to criticism and can’t take feedback very well. Due to their more intense emotional responses and sensitivity, they may be more likely to become overwhelmed or defensive while receiving criticism. 
Over emotional kids tend to be overly empathetic.
Over-emotional kids tend to be overly empathetic. They just love being able to help others out. However, they don’t know how to properly deal with the sensations that are coming which is why they end up being more reactive at home. 
They are also considered inward thinkers not connecting with others as much as they should. Due to their heightened sensitivity, some over-reactive kids may struggle with social interactions and might find it overwhelming to explore more but they can develop social skills and meaningful connections with the right help and understanding.
Kids with a high IQ who have a clinical diagnosis are so aware of their environment...

When things get a little too overwhelming for us because of our dysregulated kids, we often think we’re helpless but in reality, we can do something about it. There are things we can do to change that not just for them but even for their future generation as we break that cycle.
Because parents have an impact on their children's language, social skills, and self-esteem, whether deliberately or unconsciously, it’s important for us to learn how beneficial it is to regulate ourselves to help our dysregulated kids.
How co-regulation helps dysregulated kids.
All of our actions as parents have an impact on our kids. And as I always say, instead of being freaked out by that, I want you to be empowered. You can head over to our Facebook group (https://www.drroseann.com/group) if you want to be part of a safe space where members empower each other throughout this parenting journey.
Co-regulation can be explained simply as when our child regulates themselves off our emotional state. And so, when they see us all put together, they are more likely to have it together. But for parents with kids who are neurodivergent or have special needs, it has definitely been more challenging. 
Personally, I can say that it has not been an easy path to take, always keeping my stuff together. But I can also promise you when I do, my kid is more regulated and that co-regulation is something that we all can achieve no matter what is going on.
We all have our own stuff.
I think there’s no one out there who doesn’t have traumas whether they may be little or big. We all have our own stuff to deal with and so, it isn’t easy for us to deal with other people’s stuff, even our children's. But although it is hard, we must do this so that our child can regulate.
We must reinforce a positive cycle because as we all know, the more dysregulated we are, the more dysregulated our kids are. Kids are highly attuned to their parents' emotional states and often mirror their behavior. 
How does emotional regulation develop in the brain?
Co-regulation increases activity and neural pathways in brain regions associated with emotional regulation. It thus improves and promotes healthy brain functioning.
We’ve mentioned that our kids feed off our energy. As such, they’re more likely to have everything together when they see us calm and regulated. However, we also have to take into consideration that we are all allowed to be imperfect. We are allowed to feel things and process our emotions. 
Instead, what we’re trying to change here to break the cycle is how we communicate. 
You are your child’s teacher when you are struggling.
You are your child's best teacher but in order for you to provide help to your child, you also need to be calm and stable. That’s why when you’re struggling, you need to seek professional guidance. Many people who are often feeling lost come to us and join our group and you can too (https://drroseann.com/).
Communication is key. You must learn how to properly connect with your child. Parents can encourage healthy emotional development in their children by establishing a secure and comforting environment in which their kids are free to communicate their feelings and worries.
For me, I always try to use sensory activities to connect with a dysregulated child like playing legos and going out for a swim. Parents can develop a feeling of balance and emotional stability by engaging in activities with their kids that encourage relaxation, stress reduction, and personal fulfillment. If these calm moments end in a bad turn and your child dysregulates, I hope you don’t get discouraged.
As much as possible, you...

With greater pressures and expectations placed on young adults in recent years, the transition of our kids from youth to adulthood has grown more challenging. At present, we have an epidemic of young adults who either failed to launch or never launched at all but we shouldn’t lose hope because there are things we can do.
It’s imperative for us to learn more about the failure to launch syndrome as resources regarding this matter remain to be limited. And that’s what we’ll be focusing on in today’s episode. 
What is failure to launch and why is it such an epidemic?
Around ⅓ of the people in the United States from ages 18 to 34 still live at home with their parents. But this is not to say that everyone in that population experiences failure to launch. There are many reasons behind failure to launch. There are those who really want to live at home while some stay with their parents due to financial reasons.
Nowadays, we’re experiencing a surge of people who are failing to launch and some of them didn't even bother to launch. Although, some of them go to college. The longer an individual gets stuck, the harder it is to get out of it. That’s why there’s a need for us to assess this surge.
However, there aren’t a lot of resources for this which is why many people remain clueless as to what they should do. If you want to be part of our group for support, you can visit our Facebook group (http://drroseann.com/group). 
Typically, the reason why there is a failure to launch is because these children are financially dependent on their parents making them incapable of living on their own. 
There are people experiencing failure to launch who are dealing with mental health issues which makes it difficult for them to launch. The common issues we encounter in relation to this when we support young adults are autism, Lyme’s Disease, OCD, PANS and PANDAS. 
Parents tend to think that getting a job or going to college will solve the problem. 
College is a tough journey and there are a lot of things to be done along the way. That is why there are many who completely fall apart when they go to college contributing to the number one reason why people leave college which is their mental health.
Parents tend to think that getting a job or going to college will solve the problem when in fact that’s not the appropriate fix. They think that if they just push them out, things will go right but in reality, that's not what happens when you have an untreated mental health issue.
What I often see in families is that there is poor communication which gives rise to many problems. It causes family members to shut down and even causes them to be avoidant and resistant to help. This also often causes low motivation or no motivation at all. 
What are the signs and symptoms of failure to launch? 
At the crux of failure to launch is typically a mental health issue that has not been properly addressed. And usually, parents don’t address the mental health issue of their kid because the latter’s grades are good. What we should do is to dig deeper and understand what’s happening with our kids. 
Kids with failure to launch have a history of low stress tolerance and poor coping skills. That is so important to understand because good coping skills are going to serve you in every aspect of your life. 
They also tend to have gaming addictions and other forms of addictions in place of friendships. Sometimes, because of the lack of healthy relationships, they fail to launch and depression sets in. 
What’s my best tip for failure to launch?
My best tip I can give parents is to focus on parenting help. When kids are stuck because they are either avoidant or resistant to help,...