Love Shack Live: Helping Couples Rescue Their Relationships

Staci Bartley, Relationship Expert
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Relationships are complex. They are filled with ups and downs, highs and lows. And sometimes, it can feel like you're struggling just to keep your head above water. If you're feeling like this, then it's important to reach out for help. That's where Tom and Staci Bartley come in. As relationship experts, they have helped countless couples overcome the challenges that they're facing. And now, they're here to help you. The Love Shack Live Show is filled with advice and tips that will help you get your relationship back on track. So if you're struggling in your relationship, make sure to tune in, it could be the best decision you ever make.

  1. 6D AGO

    #258: In Conversation With a Couple: How Relationship Skills Show Up in Real Life

    Send us a text Sometimes the most meaningful collaborations don’t start as collaborations at all. Marnie and Patrick originally came to Staci as clients. Two passionate, creative humans who loved each other deeply, but could feel that love alone wasn’t going to carry them through blended family stress, real-life pressure, and the places where communication gets messy. Fast forward, and they’re not only thriving, they’re living proof of what happens when people learn skills they were never taught. In this conversation, we sit down with Marnie and Patrick to talk about the real work of building a relationship that lasts: emotional safety, voice, honest repair, and learning how to stay close even when life is loud. In this episode, we talk about: How “magic” can be real and still not be enough on its ownThe moment you hit the bottom of your bag of tricks and realize you need skillsThe “gap” where assumptions grow and relationships drift (and how to close it)What changes when you learn to say the thing… kindly, clearly, and without explodingWhy emotional safety is the foundation for blended families, grief, and big life transitionsNovelty vs. grounding: how couples stop fighting their differences and start using themA simple but powerful truth: nobody completes you, but the right partnership can expand youWhy so many people hit a crisis around 40, and what’s actually happening underneath itThe difference between a “travel itinerary” and an experience that helps you remember you like each otherWant to join us in Tuscany? We’re co-creating a couples retreat in a thousand-year-old castle in Tuscany, Italy. It’s part romance, part relationship skills, part sensory reset. Slow mornings, incredible food, a space that helps you exhale, and daily relationship sessions designed to bring you back to each other. Book/save your room (only 7 couples): https://stacibartley.com/couples-retreat Want to taste what Marnie + Patrick create? You can order Solstice Savory Pies online (they ship nationwide) and bring a little “break bread together” energy to your own kitchen. Order here: https://solsticesavorypies.com/ Want support choosing what’s next? If you’re not sure what you need right now, book a clarity call and we’ll help you find your best next step. Clarity Call: https://stacibartley.com/apply And if this episode moved you, share it with someone you care about. Human to human is how this work spreads. Timestamps:  04:05 Navigating Blended Families 05:54 Transformative Relationship Skills 08:08 Balancing Individuality and Partnership 14:13 The Challenges of Modern Relationships 20:47 Generational Perspectives on Relationships 29:15 Gratitude for Supportive Partners 30:29 A Strong Partnership 30:52 Tuscany Retreats: A Journey Begins 32:18 The Magic of the Castle 33:50 Immersive Experiences 36:25 Slowing Down in Tuscany 38:12 Etruscan History and Exploration 42:48 Creating Forever Memories 54:46 Savory Pies and Final Thoughts

    59 min

  2. JAN 30

    #257: The Skill You’re Missing That’s Ruining Every “Talk”

    Send us a text When a new year starts, a lot of people quietly hope their relationship will feel lighter by now. Less tension. Less distance. Fewer conversations that end in the same painful place. But if it still feels hard to get through to each other, this episode is your reminder that you’re not broken and you’re not alone. In this conversation, we unpack the skill that quietly determines whether your conversations create connection or turn into conflict: emotional regulation. Because most couples don’t actually need “better communication” first. They need more emotional stability first. You’ll learn why emotional regulation is the gateway skill that makes every other relationship tool work, especially when life feels intense, stressful, or unsafe and your nervous system is already carrying too much. In this episode, we cover: Why “we should just talk it through” often backfires when emotions are highHow stress and uncertainty show up as tone, impatience, and quick reactivity at homeThe missing concept most couples never learned: emotional capacity (and how it impacts conflict)How emotional regulation works in real life, using the “emotional plank” metaphorThe tiny moment where everything changes: catching tension early enough to choose a different responseA practical reframe that can stop escalation fast: shifting from “don’t want” language to “want” languageWhy emotional regulation is not “being nice,” “stuffing it,” or “letting things slide”What to do when you feel like you’re the only one doing the work (and why it still matters)A simple practice to build your regulation reps: short rounds of listening, even when you disagreeA challenge you can try today: a literal plank to connect the body to emotional tension and build awarenessKey takeaway If conversations keep collapsing, it’s often not because you don’t love each other. It’s because your nervous systems are overloaded and you’re trying to have hard conversations without the foundation that makes them safe. Stability first. Clarity second. Need help getting unstuck? If you feel like you’re living at the edge of capacity and you can’t find clarity inside the conflict, book a free Clarity Call. It’s a short, supportive conversation to help you slow down, feel seen, and get clear on your next step. Schedule here: stacibartley.com/apply Timestamps:  04:00 The Importance of Emotional Safety at Home 08:03 Emotional Capacity and Resilience 13:07 Practical Examples of Emotional Regulation 18:06 The Power of Choice in Emotional Tension 21:45 Focusing on Solutions, Not Problems 26:23 The Impact of Emotional Awareness on Relationships 28:05 Navigating Relationship Tensions 29:45 Holding Tension for Yourself 32:07 The Power of Demonstrated Behavior 33:32 Practical Steps for Emotional Capacity 35:35 Slowing Down in High-Stress Moments 42:16 Building Emotional Awareness 44:56 The Importance of Emotional Regulation 50:28 Creating Safe Spaces in Relationships

    57 min

  3. JAN 24

    #256: Same Fight, Different Day: How to Break the Pattern (For Real)

    Send us a text You walk into the conversation thinking, Okay, this time we’re talking about money. Or parenting. Or sex. Or the thing you agreed on and nobody followed through. And somehow you still end up in the exact same place: confusion, defensiveness, frustration, and that familiar emotional hangover that lasts way longer than the argument. In this episode of Love Shack Live, we unpack the real reason couples keep having the same fight on repeat. Because here’s the twist: most fights stop being about the topic pretty quickly. Once you blamed, misunderstood, or threatened, self-protection takes over and logic doesn’t stand a chance. You’ll learn how to spot the pattern that’s driving your conflict, why “just communicate better” never works, and what it actually takes to interrupt the cycle in the small window you have before things escalate. Plus, Staci and Tom revisit their infamous alarm clock fight (yes, again) to show you what it looks like to move from the “courtroom” mindset to the “classroom” mindset… and why understanding the emotional drivers changes everything. And you’ll leave with a surprisingly fun pattern interrupt you can try the next time things start heating up. If you’re listening and thinking, This is us, this episode is your next right step. Timestamps:  03:17 The 12 Critical Categories in Relationships 04:44 Recognizing and Addressing Behavior Patterns 05:48 The Courtroom vs. The Classroom 15:23 The Alarm Clock Story: A Case Study 22:25 Finding Solutions Through Understanding 25:53 Understanding Your Partner's Experience 28:34 The Impact of Personalization and Defensiveness 30:04 Emotional Coping and Linking Events 32:04 The Importance of Listening 34:13 Breaking the Cycle of Misunderstanding 44:12 Practical Tools for Conflict Resolution 49:55 Pattern Interrupt Dance Party 51:36 Final Thoughts and Encouragement Want personalized help breaking your pattern? If you’re stuck in cycles and you want a clear next step, schedule a Clarity Call: https://stacibartley.com/apply This isn’t about fixing your partner. It’s about identifying the pattern you’re in and learning the skills to interrupt it.

    53 min

  4. JAN 16

    #255: Hope Is Not a Strategy: Why Waiting for Them to Change Isn’t Working

    Send us a text If you’ve been waiting for the “right time” to talk… You’re not alone. A lot of couples don’t look like they’re falling apart. From the outside, life looks fine. But inside, there’s a low-grade tension that never really leaves. You go to bed next to each other. You get through the day. You smile. And you keep telling yourself: “I’ll bring it up when things feel less tense.”“If I just give it more time, it’ll settle down.”“I don’t want to ruin a good day by bringing it up.”“If I push, I’ll drive them further away.”In this episode, we name what’s really happening: hope has quietly turned into a coping strategy. Hope can be beautiful. It can give you courage. But hope without skills often becomes waiting without change, and the cost shows up later as resentment, emotional distance, blowups, or that hollow feeling of “we’re fine… but we’re not close.” In this episode, we cover: Why tension usually doesn’t “blow up”… it lingers and accumulatesThe difference between patience and avoidanceThe fears hiding underneath “I’ll just wait” (and why they make sense)How emotional safety gets fragile, and couples start freezing over what isn’t workingWhy “nothing is blowing up” doesn’t mean things are getting betterThe myth that “once they change, I’ll feel better”Why the goal isn’t to get your partner to change, it’s to change how the relationship handles hard momentsThe real skill most couples are missing: equal exchange (sharing + listening without correction, defense, or collapse)Why listening is one of the hardest relationship skills (because it requires holding emotional tension)What actually creates movement: hope + skills + behavior changeA question we ask that might shift everything: “Am I genuinely hopeful right now… or am I in denial?” Because waiting often feels like protection. But if you’re reading moods, monitoring body language, and holding your breath for the right moment, you’re not protecting connection. You’re protecting against discomfort. And that discomfort doesn’t go away. It just gets more expensive. Try this journal prompt (from the episode): I was hopeful when ________, but deep down, I was really ________. Examples: “I was hopeful when they said ‘we’re fine,’ but deep down I was really afraid we were avoiding the truth.”“I was hopeful when I stayed quiet to keep the peace, but deep down I was really disappearing.”“I was hopeful when they apologized, but deep down I was really needing to feel understood, not just comforted.”Want help figuring out your next step? If you’re stuck in the hoping phase, drowning in overthinking, or afraid of making the wrong move next, you don’t need more time. You need a better plan and better skills. Book a Clarity Call and we’ll help you get clear on what’s actually happening and what to do next, without pressure. Schedule your free call here: https://stacibartley.com/apply Timestamps: 02:34 Understanding the Impact of Waiting 04:09 The Cost of Avoidance 07:05 Hope vs. Denial 08:13 The Importance of Skills in Relationships 08:59 Conflict and Communication 19:35 Personal Stories and Examples 22:35 Understanding Anxiety in Relationships 24:04 The Impact of Communication on Relationships 26:10 The Importance of Equal Exchange 27:12 Developing Relationship Skills 29:35 The Role of Personal Clarity 30:32 The Challenge of Listening 34:09 Creating Emotional Safety

    44 min

  5. JAN 9

    #254: Why Relationship Resolutions Fail (And What Actually Works)

    Send us a text It’s a new year, and maybe you caught yourself thinking: This is the year we finally work on us. Not in a dramatic, “we’re getting divorced” way. More like… you’re tired of the same tension. The same looping conversations. That familiar bracing-in-your-body feeling when you can tell another hard talk is coming. And if you’re wondering, Why does this still feel so hard if we love each other? this episode is for you. In this week's episode we're unpacking the real reason relationship resolutions fall apart. Not because you don’t care. Not because you’re not trying. But because most “relationship goals” are outcomes… and nobody taught you the skills required to create them. You’ll hear why common promises like: “We’ll communicate better”“We’ll fight less”“We’ll stop bringing up the past”“We’ll spend more quality time together”sound logical, but often backfire… especially when emotions spike and your nervous system takes the wheel. Inside the episode, we talk about: Why “just talk about it” isn’t a strategy (and what has to come before big talks)The difference between living in the courtroom (judging, building a case) vs the classroom (learning what’s actually happening)What couples therapy often gets wrong early on: digging into problems before building safety and permissionHow resentment builds when one partner tries to “grind through” change on willpower aloneWhy avoiding conflict creates a slow-burn disconnection (yes, we go there… hello emotional constipation)A simple way to think about relationship skills: love is fuel, but skills are the steering wheel and brakesIf you’ve ever made the resolution to “be better this year” and then found yourselves right back in the same patterns by February… this will land. And if you’re listening thinking, Okay… but what do we do now? That’s exactly what a Clarity Call is for. It’s a short, supportive conversation with Tom to help you: name what’s actually breaking down (without turning it into a blowup)identify the specific skills that are missing or misfiringleave with a clear next step that fits your situationNo pressure. No therapy-speak. No trying to “fix everything” in one call. Just clarity and direction. 👉 Schedule your free Clarity Call here: stacibartley.com/apply Hit play if you want your “new year” to be more than hopeful words. Let’s make it practical. Listen now, then try this with your partner: Listen separately, then come back together for 15 minutes and answer: “What part of this felt the most true for you?”

    53 min

  6. JAN 2

    #253: My Partner Asked for Space. What Should I Do?

    Send us a text When separation comes up, most couples split into two roles fast: One becomes the Fixer. You want to talk, solve, repair, and close the gap now because the silence feels unbearable. The other becomes the Escaper. You shut down, pull back, and hope the pressure stops, not because you don’t care, but because you feel emotionally overwhelmed and unsafe in the conversations. And here’s the trap: both responses make sense… and both make separation harder. The Fixer reaches for connection to feel safe. The Escaper reaches for distance to feel safe. So the more one pursues, the more the other withdraws, and what could have been a reset starts turning into panic on one side and deafening silence on the other. In today’s episode of Love Shack Live, we're unpacking what’s really happening underneath these two survival patterns and how to interrupt the cycle before “space” quietly becomes distance, drift, or a slow exit. You’ll learn: Why a request for space doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is overThe most common misconceptions that make separation feel even more terrifyingHow anxiety and depression spike during separation (and why that doesn’t mean you’re “crazy”)The difference between space for space’s sake and space with a planWhy unstructured space often leads to break-up/make-up cyclesHow to create simple agreements that reduce panic and rebuild trustWhat it actually means to “be okay either way” without shutting down or giving upHow to become a safer place for the truth, so real repair becomes possibleThis episode is for you if you’re in that brutal in-between: wanting connection, needing breathing room, and not knowing how to move forward without making things worse. And yes, we’ll also remind you of something important: space can be a do-over, not a death sentence, but only if you use it intentionally. Want help figuring out your next step? If space or separation has entered your relationship and you don’t know what to do next, Tom is offering a free clarity call to help you get oriented, calm the noise, and map your next best steps, whether that’s together, apart, or somewhere in-between. Book your call at stacibartley.com/apply.

    47 min

  7. 12/20/2025

    #252: The Land of Maybe: The Relationship Phase No One Teaches You How to Handle

    Send us a text Are you stuck in the question that never seems to get answered: Should I stay or should I go? Some days your relationship feels warm enough to keep trying. Other days it feels so lonely you can’t believe you’re still sharing the same space. If you’re in that place right now, you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. In this special rebroadcast of one of our most impactful episodes, we dive into what we call the Land of Maybe: the exhausting in-between where couples linger for years, hoping things will change, while quietly running out of emotional gas. Here’s the truth most people don’t hear soon enough: couples wait an average of six years to get help. By the time they do, it’s not just about conflict anymore, it’s about exhaustion, disconnection, and not knowing what to do next. In this episode, you’ll learn: What the Land of Maybe actually looks and feels like inside a relationshipWhy “some days yes, some days no” is emotionally unsustainableHow blame, avoidance, and waiting it out keep couples stuckWhy relationship struggles are almost always skills problems, not love problemsHow to slow down instead of making fear-based decisionsSimple ways to “switch it up” so you can get new information and clarityHow one person can begin changing the dynamic, even if the other is hesitantIf you’re navigating space or separation, this episode is especially important. Space can be a reset, or it can quietly become a slow exit, depending on what you do during it. We’ll help you understand the difference and show you how to move through this season with intention instead of panic. Whether you’ve listened to this episode before or you’re brand new to Love Shack Live, we invite you to listen with fresh ears. You’re not the same person you were the first time you questioned your relationship, and your relationship isn’t the same either. This conversation is about clarity. About skills. And about helping you stop spinning so you can start moving forward in a way that honors you, your partner, and what you truly want next. Need Support? If this episode stirred something in you and you’re tired of carrying the “maybe” alone, you don’t have to figure out your next step by yourself. Tom offers a free clarity call to help you slow things down, get grounded, and see your situation more clearly, without pressure or pushing you in any direction. Whether you’re trying to repair, navigating space, or simply need help deciding what you can’t keep carrying, this call is designed to bring calm, perspective, and direction. Couples wait an average of six years to get support. If you’re already here, questioning and exhausted, the time is now. You can book your clarity call at stacibartley.com/apply. Clarity comes before big decisions. Support comes before repair. Timestamps:  02:03 Navigating the Land of Maybe 06:34 Client Story: Janet and Rich 09:07 Understanding and Changing Behavior 16:27 The Importance of Practice and Support 28:23 Convincing a Resistant Partner 28:55 Blame and Guilt in Relationships 29:35 The Impact of Physical Attraction 31:13 Effective Communication Strategies 31:58 Personal Experience and Real-Life Examples 34:32 Navigating Conflicted Feelings 36:43 The Importance of Slowing Down 38:31 Switching Things Up in Relationships 40:00 The Catalyst Effect in Relationships 45:04 The Power of Humor and Fun 51:32 Final Thoughts and Resources

    55 min

  8. 12/14/2025

    #251: The 3 Relationship Skills Every Couple Needs (But No One Teaches You)

    Send us a text You were told that love would be enough. That if you just cared more, tried harder, stayed patient, and didn’t give up, your relationship would work itself out. So when the distance crept in, when conversations started going sideways, when you felt lonely sitting right next to the person you love, you told yourself to love harder. But love isn’t what translates your emotions into words. Love doesn’t create emotional safety when conversations get tense. And love alone can’t bridge the gap between two people living in very different emotional worlds. Skills do. In this episode of Love Shack Live, we sit down to break down the three core relationship skills that most couples are missing when they feel disconnected, misunderstood, or stuck in the same painful patterns. You’ll learn: Why loving each other deeply still isn’t enough to prevent conflict and emotional distanceThe #1 skill couples need to stop reacting and start understanding each otherHow emotional safety actually works (and why most couples don’t have it)Why differences in perspective create so much conflict and how to stop taking everything personallyHow unresolved emotional “messy dishes” pile up and quietly erode connection over timeThrough real client stories and honest conversation, this episode shows why relationships don’t fail because of a lack of love. They struggle because no one taught us the skills required to communicate, regulate emotions, and truly understand one another. If you’ve been asking yourself: “Why do we keep having the same fight?”“Why do I feel so misunderstood?”“Why does love feel harder than it should?”This episode will give you clarity, relief, and a different way forward. Love is real. It matters. But skills are what make love safe, lasting, and livable. Love Isn’t Enough. Skills Get You Through the Holidays. If the holidays already feel heavy and you’re trying not to spiral, you don’t need more information. You need tools you can use in the moment. That’s why I created the Holiday Survival Bundle: the Holiday Stress Test + 3 micro-skill programs to help you calm the tension, communicate more clearly, and stay connected when things get stressful. $97 or 2 payments of $55: https://stacibartley.com/holiday-bundle-nc

    58 min
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About

Relationships are complex. They are filled with ups and downs, highs and lows. And sometimes, it can feel like you're struggling just to keep your head above water. If you're feeling like this, then it's important to reach out for help. That's where Tom and Staci Bartley come in. As relationship experts, they have helped countless couples overcome the challenges that they're facing. And now, they're here to help you. The Love Shack Live Show is filled with advice and tips that will help you get your relationship back on track. So if you're struggling in your relationship, make sure to tune in, it could be the best decision you ever make.

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