Make Peace With Food

Sherry Shaban

Why do we keep self-sabotaging when we know what to do? The Make Peace With Food Podcast goes beyond food freedom, neutrality, and intuitive eating to uncover what drives self-sabotage — from cravings and binge eating to how we cope with stress, past wounds, relationships, money, and life itself. Hosted by Sherry Shaban, creator of the Make Peace With Food™ Method, it explores the biology, psychology, and subconscious forces shaping behavior so you can create lasting change.

  1. 4 Hidden Patterns Driving Self-Sabotage

    3d ago

    4 Hidden Patterns Driving Self-Sabotage

    Most self-sabotage isn’t a discipline problem — it’s an unconscious pattern problem. In this episode, I break down something most people struggle to see clearly: the patterns driving self-sabotage are often unconscsherryshabanvious. A lot of people know something is off — stress, emotional triggers, or repeated behaviors — but still can’t trace where it’s actually coming from. This episode brings clarity to that gap. Instead of trying to fix behavior at the surface level, I guide you into identifying the thought loops underneath it. Why You Can’t Always See Your Pattern There’s a difference between: conscious thoughts (what you notice) unconscious patterns (what actually drives behavior) Unconscious beliefs live in the nervous system and quietly shape: emotional reactions eating behaviors relationship patterns self-sabotage cycles This is why awareness alone sometimes feels incomplete — the real driver is often deeper than thought. Pattern #1: Birth Trauma (The World Feels Unsafe) This pattern shows up as an unconscious sense that the world is unsafe or unpredictable. It can look like: chronic anxiety or hypervigilance assuming others can’t be trusted feeling unsafe in neutral environments apologizing for your existence fear without a clear source At its core, this pattern keeps the nervous system in protection mode. Pattern #2: Parental Disapproval Conditioning This pattern forms when approval or emotional validation felt inconsistent growing up. It can show up as: never feeling “good enough” overworking for recognition difficulty feeling satisfied with achievements needing external validation to feel secure Worth becomes tied to performance instead of inherent identity. Pattern #3: The Unconscious Death Urge This is the “shutdown” or withdrawal response that appears when change feels overwhelming. It sounds like: “What’s the point?” “Why bother?” “Nothing will work anyway” “I’ve tried everything” It often appears right before growth opportunities — not because change isn’t possible, but because the system is resisting effort and uncertainty. Pattern #4: Negative Thought Loops (What If Thinking) Two dominant patterns show up here: What If Down Thinking: What if it doesn’t work? What if I fail? What if I get rejected? What If Up Thinking: What if it works? What if something shifts? What if I succeed? Most people live primarily in “what if down” without noticing how much it shapes behavior. Struggling with emotional or binge eating? Download my free guide, Calm the Craving: 7 Steps to Break Emotional and Binge Eating and finally end the cycle of out-of-control eating: www.sherryshaban.com Work With Sherry Shaban: Book your FREE 30-minute Food Freedom Call and start your journey to lasting change! www.sherryshabanfitness.com/clarity Listen & Subscribe Catch more episodes at www.makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you never miss an episode! Connect & Go Deeper Join our Facebook Community: www.myfoodfreedomlifestyle.com Work with Sherry: www.sherryshaban.com/transform Explore more resources: www.makepeacewithfood.com Share Your Takeaway Tag us on Instagram (@makepeacewithfoodofficial), Facebook (@MakePeaceWithFoodOfficial), TikTok (@sherryshaban), or LinkedIn (sherryshaban) and share your biggest insight from this episode!

    14 min
  2. How to Stop Emotional Eating and Self-Sabotage

    6d ago

    How to Stop Emotional Eating and Self-Sabotage

    There’s a voice in your head. It speaks constantly.It comments on everything.And more often than not… It’s critical, harsh, and never quite satisfied. If you feel stuck in emotional eating or self-sabotage, this episode will help you understand the real reason why—and show you how to take your power back by separating from the voice in your head. 1. The Voice You’ve Been Listening To (Without Realizing It) You are always in conversation with yourself. And that voice? Tells you you’re not doing enough Makes you feel like you’re failing Questions whether anything will ever work But here’s the shift:That voice is not trying to hurt you. It’s trying to protect you. 2. Protection Mode & The Nervous System When that voice gets loud: It triggers stress It activates Protection Mode It pulls you into reaction instead of response And when you’re in Protection Mode, you don’t feel safe—you feel reactive and out of control. 3. Reacting vs. Responding Reaction is automatic.Response is intentional. The difference? Choice. When I create space between a thought and my action…I take my power back. 4. Emotional Eating Isn’t the Problem Emotional eating isn’t failure. It’s a coping mechanism. Food, scrolling, drinking, shopping—these were strategies your body created to support you at some point. But you get to decide if they still serve you. 5. Emotional Regulation Is the Missing Skill Every emotion carries a message. Instead of avoiding or numbing it, I can: Notice it Feel it Understand it Respond to it 6. What Keeps You Stuck It’s not lack of knowledge. It’s the voice that: Judges Shames Replays the past Keeps you small The more I believe that voice… the more stuck I stay. 7. The Shift That Changes Everything I am not the voice in my head. I am the one hearing it. And when I stop engaging with it…I create space to choose differently. 8. You Can’t Shame Yourself Into Change Real change doesn’t come from punishment. It comes from: Awareness Compassion Self-respect 9. Breaking the Pattern When I can observe: The trigger The thought The emotion The urge I can interrupt the cycle. That’s where freedom begins. Struggling with emotional or binge eating? Download my free guide, Calm the Craving: 7 Steps to Break Emotional and Binge Eating and finally end the cycle of out-of-control eating: www.sherryshaban.com Work With Sherry Shaban:Book your FREE 30-minute Food Freedom Call and start your journey to lasting change! www.sherryshabanfitness.com/clarity Listen & SubscribeCatch more episodes at www.makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you never miss an episode! Connect & Go Deeper Join our Facebook Community: www.myfoodfreedomlifestyle.com Work with Sherry: www.sherryshaban.com/transform Explore more resources: www.makepeacewithfood.com Share Your TakeawayTag us on Instagram (@makepeacewithfoodofficial), Facebook (@MakePeaceWithFoodOfficial), TikTok (@sherryshaban), or LinkedIn (sherryshaban) and share your biggest insight from this episode!

    18 min
  3. Dear Sherry, Why Do I Feel Like I’m Never Enough (Even When I Achieve My Goals)?

    May 21

    Dear Sherry, Why Do I Feel Like I’m Never Enough (Even When I Achieve My Goals)?

    In this episode of Dear Sherry, I respond to a listener’s honest message about constantly feeling “not enough” despite achieving goals and pushing themselves. We explore how these patterns are formed in the unconscious mind and why insight alone isn’t enough to create change. You’ll learn how beliefs, identity, and emotional memory shape behavior—and how to begin shifting them. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why achievement still doesn’t create a feeling of “enough” How unconscious beliefs are formed through emotion and identity The link between childhood experiences and adult self-sabotage Why awareness is the starting point for real behavior change How to revisit and reframe old beliefs safely and effectively The shift from proving yourself → living from internal safety and enoughness Work With Sherry Shaban:Book your FREE 30-minute Food Freedom Call and start your journey to lasting change! Schedule your call at www.sherryshabanfitness.com/clarity Listen & SubscribeCatch more episodes at www.makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you never miss an episode! Connect & Go Deeper Join our Facebook Community: www.myfoodfreedomlifestyle.com Work with Sherry: www.sherryshaban.com/transform Explore more resources: www.makepeacewithfood.com Free Resources: Struggling with emotional or binge eating? Download my free guide, Calm the Craving: 7 Steps to Break Emotional and Binge Eating, and finally end the cycle of out-of-control eating. Get Your FREE Guide Here: www.sherryshaban.com

    23 min
  4. Why You’re Obsessed with Food

    May 18

    Why You’re Obsessed with Food

    What if the reason you can’t stop thinking about food has nothing to do with food at all? And what if trying to control it is actually the very thing keeping you stuck? Because what you’re experiencing isn’t a lack of discipline.It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it’s designed to do: protect you. And in this episode, I break down what that actually means in the body, why dieting intensifies the cycle, and how healing doesn’t come from tighter control—but from creating safety inside the nervous system. Protection Mode and What It Really Means When the body perceives stress, emotional overwhelm, or any kind of threat—whether that’s trauma, pressure, or even food-related experiences—it shifts into survival. In that state, everything changes. The body begins conserving energy. Metabolism slows down. Cravings increase. And behaviors like binge eating or emotional eating can show up—not as a loss of control, but as a biological strategy to survive. Your body is not betraying you in those moments. It’s adapting. Why Dieting Keeps the Cycle Alive One of the biggest misunderstandings is thinking that dieting is the solution. But from a nervous system perspective, dieting often becomes the trigger. The body interprets restriction as scarcity. Whether that scarcity is real—like not having access to food—or imposed through calorie restriction, the response is the same: Protection Mode activates. And when this state is prolonged, even within a few days of restriction, the body begins to slow metabolism and increase the drive toward high-energy foods. Because in survival mode, the body isn’t trying to be “healthy.” It’s trying to survive. Why Cravings Get So Intense This is why cravings don’t feel neutral in these moments. You don’t tend to crave light or low-energy foods when your system is activated. You crave dense, high-energy foods—sugar, fats, and combinations that quickly restore fuel. It’s not random. It’s the body trying to bring you back into balance the fastest way it knows how. The Three Layers of Protection Mode Protection Mode isn’t just physical. It shows up across all layers of experience. Physically, it can look like slowed metabolism and intense cravings. Mentally, it often shows up as overthinking and food obsession. Emotionally, it carries guilt, shame, anxiety, fear, and sadness that keep the system activated. When all three layers are engaged, it becomes very difficult to “think” your way out of it. This is why nervous system regulation is the entry point—not willpower. Safety Is the Way Out What begins to shift everything is not control—but safety. When I focus on regulating my nervous system instead of controlling my food, the cycle begins to soften. Safety can be created through presence, connection, slowing down, and even simple grounding experiences with pets or the environment around me. It’s not about doing more. It’s about signaling safety to the body in ways it can actually receive. Struggling with emotional or binge eating? Download my free guide, Calm the Craving: 7 Steps to Break Emotional and Binge Eating and finally end the cycle of out-of-control eating: www.sherryshaban.com Work With Sherry Shaban:Book your FREE 30-minute Food Freedom Call and start your journey to lasting change! www.sherryshabanfitness.com/clarity Listen & SubscribeCatch more episodes at www.makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you never miss an episode! Connect & Go Deeper Join our Facebook Community: www.myfoodfreedomlifestyle.com Work with Sherry: www.sherryshaban.com/transform Explore more resources: www.makepeacewithfood.com Share Your TakeawayTag us on Instagram (@makepeacewithfoodofficial), Facebook (@MakePeaceWithFoodOfficial), TikTok (@sherryshaban), or LinkedIn (sherryshaban) and share your biggest insight from this episode!

    11 min
  5. Why Real Healing Takes Time: The Importance of Awareness in Your Body’s Needs

    May 14

    Why Real Healing Takes Time: The Importance of Awareness in Your Body’s Needs

    In this episode, I share a real client story that completely reframes how we think about weight loss, hormones, and long-term transformation. This is not a story about restriction or quick fixes.It’s a story about time, nervous system regulation, identity, and deep internal healing. The Story I began working with a woman who was dealing with: PCOS Premature menopause A history of weight cycling Previous use of weight-loss medication Her goal was simple: release about 20 pounds. But what we actually focused on was not weight — it was her foundation. We started with: Regulating her circadian rhythm Improving sleep quality Adding whole, nourishing foods Reducing reliance on fast, processed meals Supporting her hormonal system gently and consistently No extremes. No restriction. No punishment. Just consistency and safety. The Turning Point About six months in, progress felt slower than she expected. Her doctor then offered medication support through a GLP-1 option, fully covered. Instead of rushing into it, I offered her a different perspective: What if we simply continued? You can always choose medication later. But what if we gave your body more time to adapt, regulate, and change? So we made a simple agreement: six more months of consistency. What I Teach Instead of Quick Fixes This is where most people misunderstand the process. They want speed. But the body requires safety first. I often explain it like this: If you’re starting your health journey in a dysregulated state, it’s like starting a business while in debt. Before growth happens, you need to return to zero. What “Zero” Actually Means Zero is not a number on a scale. It is a state where: You are emotionally regulated You are no longer using food to cope, numb, or escape You make conscious, grounded decisions Food is no longer about control or restriction This is the foundation everything else is built on. The Transformation Two years later, here’s what happened: She released over 60 pounds She never used GLP-1 medication She exercised less, not more She prioritized sleep over intense early-morning workouts She processed deep emotional wounds tied to divorce and fertility grief She completely shifted her identity And the weight loss? That became a side effect — not the goal. The Real Root Cause What actually drove her eating wasn’t food. It was: Unprocessed emotional pain Identity rooted in struggle Nervous system dysregulation Once those were addressed, her need to use food as a coping mechanism naturally faded. Identity Shift She stopped seeing herself as: Someone who can’t lose weight Someone stuck because of her diagnosis And became: Someone who nourishes her body Someone with boundaries Someone who leads her choices consciously That shift changed everything. My Perspective on GLP-1s I don’t see tools like GLP-1 medications as good or bad. I see them as tools. They may support some people, especially as a bridge — but they are not a replacement for: emotional healing nervous system regulation identity work behavior change And they come with risks that must be understood before use. Struggling with emotional or binge eating? Download my free guide, Calm the Craving: 7 Steps to Break Emotional and Binge Eating and finally end the cycle of out-of-control eating: www.sherryshaban.com Work With Sherry Shaban:Book your FREE 30-minute Food Freedom Call and start your journey to lasting change! www.sherryshabanfitness.com/clarity Listen & SubscribeCatch more episodes at www.makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you never miss an episode! Connect & Go Deeper Join our Facebook Community: www.myfoodfreedomlifestyle.com Work with Sherry: www.sherryshaban.com/transform Explore more resources: www.makepeacewithfood.com Share Your TakeawayTag us on Instagram (@makepeacewithfoodofficial), Facebook (@MakePeaceWithFoodOfficial), TikTok (@sherryshaban), or LinkedIn (sherryshaban) and share your biggest insight from this episode!

    14 min
  6. Is Your Relationship Toxic? Or Touching a Wound?

    May 11

    Is Your Relationship Toxic? Or Touching a Wound?

    In this episode, I sit down for a deeply honest and meaningful conversation about relationships with expert Jonathan Van Viegen.  We explore how identity wounds, nervous system responses, and past experiences shape the way we show up in connection, conflict, and intimacy. Because the truth is… Most relationship struggles aren’t about communication.They’re about safety. 1. Identity Wounds Shape How You Love One of the most powerful concepts we explore is this: You don’t just bring your personality into a relationship — you bring your wounds. These are the quiet beliefs formed early in life: I’m not enough I’m too much I’ll be abandoned I’m not chosen And without realizing it, these beliefs influence: how you react how you communicate how you receive love 2. Why Conflict Feels So Intense Conflict isn’t just about the moment. It’s about what your nervous system perceives is happening. A simple disagreement can feel like: rejection abandonment disconnection Which is why you might: shut down get defensive avoid or escalate Not because something is wrong with you…but because your body is trying to protect you. 3. Separate the Person from the Behavior A powerful shift that can change everything: What someone does is not who they are. When we attack the person, we create defensiveness.When we address the behavior, we create safety. This sounds like: “I didn’t like what happened, but I still care about you.” That’s how connection stays intact — even during conflict. 4. Emotional Safety Changes Everything Real regulation doesn’t just come from what you do alone. It also comes from feeling safe with someone else. When you feel: accepted chosen valued Your nervous system softens. And when that happens…connection becomes easier, and intimacy becomes natural. 5. Chosen and Cherished — Every Day One of the most powerful reminders in this episode: People want to feel chosen and cherished. Not occasionally.Not when it’s convenient. But consistently. Because when someone feels that way, they: open their heart stay connected feel secure 6. Asking for What You Need Is Vulnerability Many people struggle to express their needs because of: shame fear feeling like they’re “too much” But your needs are not weaknesses. They’re part of being human. When you can say: “This is what I need” You create the opportunity for deeper connection. 7. Intimacy Is a Byproduct of Safety Intimacy isn’t something you force. It’s something that naturally happens when there is: emotional safety trust openness People don’t just want to be loved…they want to feel deeply valued and seen. Work with Jonathan: www.jonathanvanviegen.com/ www.instagram.com/jonathanvanviegen www.youtube.com/@jonathanvanviegen Work With Sherry Shaban:Book your FREE 30-minute Food Freedom Call and start your journey to lasting change! Schedule your call at www.sherryshabanfitness.com/clarity Listen & SubscribeCatch more episodes at www.makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you never miss an episode! Connect & Go Deeper Join our Facebook Community: www.myfoodfreedomlifestyle.com Work with Sherry: www.sherryshaban.com/transform Explore more resources: www.makepeacewithfood.com Share Your TakeawayTag us on Instagram (@makepeacewithfoodofficial), Facebook (@MakePeaceWithFoodOfficial), TikTok (@sherryshaban), or LinkedIn (sherryshaban) and share your biggest insight from this episode!

    49 min
  7. Why Your Body Is Influenced by Your Thoughts: Nervous System Explained

    May 7

    Why Your Body Is Influenced by Your Thoughts: Nervous System Explained

    In this episode, I go deeper than the surface-level conversation around “nervous system regulation.” While this topic has become a buzzword, what’s often missing is the real foundation underneath it — how much your thoughts are actively shaping your nervous system state in real time. Most people think of the nervous system as something that reacts only to external stress. But the truth is, it’s constantly responding to your internal dialogue. 1. What the Nervous System Actually Is When I talk about the nervous system, I’m referring to the autonomic nervous system — the system that runs automatically in the background. It has two primary states: Sympathetic (fight, flight, freeze):The survival state — mobilizing energy, increasing alertness, preparing for perceived threat. Parasympathetic (rest and digest):The recovery state — supporting digestion, repair, calm, and restoration. While most conversations stop at heart rate, digestion, and stress response, there’s a deeper layer that gets overlooked. 2. The Missing Link: Thoughts Drive the State I notice a very direct connection between my thoughts and my physiology. When I think in fear-based patterns: “What if something goes wrong?” “What if I can’t handle this?” “What if I fail?” My body responds as if there is an actual threat present. I can literally feel tension, tightness, and activation in my system. My nervous system shifts into protection mode — not because of reality, but because of perception. 3. My Internal Set Point Is Everything I Consume I now understand my “set point” is not just about body weight — it includes: Emotional baseline Stress response patterns Digestion and gut function Energy levels My overall sense of ease or tension And this set point is shaped by everything I consume: Food Social media Conversations Environments Thought patterns What I repeatedly expose myself to becomes my baseline. 4. Environment Shapes My Mind Faster Than Willpower When I’m alone with my thoughts, I notice how quickly my mind can default to old patterns. But when I intentionally surround myself with people and content that reflects what I want to embody — people who have overcome similar challenges or are living what I aspire to — my perspective expands. It builds: Hope Possibility Strength Faith in change Environment becomes one of the fastest ways to shift internal programming. 5. The Mind-Body Relationship At the core of this episode is a simple truth: What I consistently think becomes what my body rehearses. “I can do this” → creates movement and action “I can’t do this” → creates contraction and limitation The body follows the mind — not occasionally, but consistently over time. Struggling with emotional or binge eating? Download my free guide Calm the Craving: 7 Steps to Break Emotional and Binge Eating and finally end the cycle of out-of-control eating. Get Your FREE Guide Here: www.sherryshaban.com Work With Sherry Shaban:Book your FREE 30-minute Food Freedom Call and start your journey to lasting change! Schedule your call at www.sherryshabanfitness.com/clarity Listen & SubscribeCatch more episodes at www.makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you never miss an episode! Connect & Go Deeper Join our Facebook Community: www.myfoodfreedomlifestyle.com Work with Sherry: www.sherryshaban.com/transform Explore more resources: www.makepeacewithfood.com Share Your TakeawayTag us on Instagram (@makepeacewithfoodofficial), Facebook (@MakePeaceWithFoodOfficial), TikTok (@sherryshaban), or LinkedIn (sherryshaban) and share your biggest insight from this episode!

    9 min
  8. Here’s What The Anti-Diet Approach Can Do

    May 4

    Here’s What The Anti-Diet Approach Can Do

    In this episode, I walk you through what it truly means to take an anti-diet approach—and why this work has nothing to do with willpower, and everything to do with your nervous system, your beliefs, and your relationship with food. This isn’t about eating without awareness. It’s about understanding why you eat the way you do—and shifting the internal patterns driving it. 1. Why Restriction Triggers the Nervous System Choosing not to eat something—like sugar or fast food—is not the issue. The issue is how that decision feels inside your body. When your thoughts sound like: “I’m not allowed to have this” “I need to avoid this to lose weight” “I shouldn’t eat this” Your body interprets that as pressure—and activates the fight-or-flight response. And when you’re in that state, cravings intensify, urges increase, and the cycle of self-sabotage begins. 2. Diet Culture & the Conditioning of the Mind Diet culture teaches you to fear food. Through constant messaging like: cut this eliminate that avoid these foods Your unconscious mind builds associations: Food = unsafe Eating = lack of control Cravings = failure And because your mind learns through repetition and emotion, not logic…those patterns become automatic. 3. The Identity Shift That Changes Everything The anti-diet approach is not about giving yourself permission to eat everything all the time. It’s about shifting from: “I can’t have this”to “I don’t want this right now” That shift moves you out of restriction…and into choice, safety, and self-trust. 4. Returning to Your Body’s Natural Intelligence Your body already knows: when to eat what it needs when to stop But these cues get overridden by: dieting tracking external rules This work is about coming back to your body. Your signals are still there—you just need to reconnect to them. 5. The Truth About Processed Foods Processed foods can create stress in the body: blood sugar spikes increased cortisol more cravings But here’s the deeper truth: The stress created by your thoughts about food can be just as powerful as the food itself. 6. Regulation Over Restriction Instead of outsourcing your eating to: apps meal plans calorie counting This approach focuses on: nervous system regulation internal awareness hormonal balance Because your body is not broken. It’s responding to the environment it’s in. Struggling with emotional or binge eating? Download my free guide Calm the Craving: 7 Steps to Break Emotional and Binge Eating and finally end the cycle of out-of-control eating. Get Your FREE Guide Here: www.sherryshaban.com Work With Sherry Shaban:Book your FREE 30-minute Food Freedom Call and start your journey to lasting change! Schedule your call at www.sherryshabanfitness.com/clarity Listen & SubscribeCatch more episodes at www.makepeacewithfood.com/podcast or subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you never miss an episode! Connect & Go Deeper Join our Facebook Community: www.myfoodfreedomlifestyle.com Work with Sherry: www.sherryshaban.com/transform Explore more resources: www.makepeacewithfood.com Share Your TakeawayTag us on Instagram (@makepeacewithfoodofficial), Facebook (@MakePeaceWithFoodOfficial), TikTok (@sherryshaban), or LinkedIn (sherryshaban) and share your biggest insight from this episode!

    9 min
5
out of 5
32 Ratings

About

Why do we keep self-sabotaging when we know what to do? The Make Peace With Food Podcast goes beyond food freedom, neutrality, and intuitive eating to uncover what drives self-sabotage — from cravings and binge eating to how we cope with stress, past wounds, relationships, money, and life itself. Hosted by Sherry Shaban, creator of the Make Peace With Food™ Method, it explores the biology, psychology, and subconscious forces shaping behavior so you can create lasting change.

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