New Kinship

David Frank and TJ Espinoza

Welcome to New Kinship, where we are exploring and renewing ideas of belonging, desire, and being a neighbor in the Kingdom of Jesus. Together we are pursuing the communion and shalom of the church and the world. Pull up a chair and join the conversation! newkinship.substack.com

  1. May 27

    #82 - African Voices: Akwasi on Same-Sex Attraction in Ghana

    David and TJ talked with Akwasi in Ghana about growing up Pentecostal while wrestling with same-sex attraction (SSA). Akwasi shares candidly about the cultural and church pressures surrounding sexuality and marriage in Ghana, and his commitment to pursuing holiness and discipleship even as his attractions remain. He also reflects on the challenges SSA Christians face in his context and his hope to support others through discipleship and community. Note: This episode includes some comments suitable for adult audiences; listener discretion is advised. About Our Guest: Akwasi is a Ghanaian Christian leader, creative strategist, and youth mentor passionate about discipling the next generation through faith and leadership. He is involved in building impactful initiatives that blend spiritual formation, mentorship, creativity, and community transformation, with a strong focus on young people in Ghana. He is committed to raising holistic believers and leaders who live boldly, think deeply, and influence society with conviction and excellence. One of those initiatives is FOUND: Foundafric.org — This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” (and X, Y) as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, you might find it helpful to check out episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠ — ★ Timestamps (00:00) #82 - African Voices: Akwasi on Same-Sex Attraction in Ghana (04:10) About Akwasi: Growing up in Pentecostal Africa (06:39) Role playing mothers and fathers, other early history (16:21) How does the church (and wider culture) in Ghana handle men “being gay” or being effeminate? (35:27) SSA in Ghana: “Not many people name it” (42:37) Friendships between men in U.S. compared to Ghana (49:24) Do you pray for God to take away SSA (as a pentecostal)? (51:38) What options does a SSA man in Ghana have? Celibacy, priest, only marriage? (55:44) How do you think about dating (in some African culture)? (01:03:03) Is having a best friend outside your marriage “emotional cheating”? (01:15:59) Does Ghana have Side A? Why aren’t you Side A? (01:22:51) Final Thoughts: Prayers for SSA men in the African Church — ★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support || Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship — ★ Credits || Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza, Tyler Parker | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. ★ Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 28m
  2. Kinship Lab #03 - Facets and Goals of the Side B Project

    May 25

    Kinship Lab #03 - Facets and Goals of the Side B Project

    Following up on our earlier conversations, we engage the Side B project. Yes, project. Side B is often thought of as a community of queer/SSA Christians committed to the traditional, Christian sexual ethic. But the Side B project is much bigger than just being honest about not being straight and being steadfast in our theological ethics. We review and riff of Grant Hartley’s article on this very topic. Questions for those who listen (and actually listen, because Side B has enough online trolls who don’t engage in real dialogue and just think we’re some new edge of whatever the gay agenda is): Are there any other aspects of the Side B project that you think we forgot mention? Which aspect of the the Side B project most resonates with your own passions? References: A well-written article by our friend Grant Hartley: Grant's Substack What Exactly Is the Side B Project? Okay, what follows is a fairly niche reflection on the nature of the so-called Side B community (sexual and gender minorities who submit to what is often called a “traditional sexual ethic”), but before some of my readers who are not Side B (particularly my Side A friends) check out, let me say: I do honestly believe th… Read more 10 months ago · 32 likes · 4 comments · Grant Hartley Time Stamps: 00:00 Good morning!01:10 Why Discuss Side B03:13 Hartley’s Essay Summary06:27 Tyler Reacts: Missing "Desire"16:51 David Frank’s Goal: Prophetic Witness23:07 Boundaries, Labels, Therapy25:49 Trans/Gender Minority Questions37:23 Worth Discussing, eh?39:47 Side B Diversity44:16 Unity Beyond Movements49:11 Prophetic Schools and Boundaries54:24 Love over Ideology, Goods before Critiques01:03:27 We can have unity on paths of celibacy, right?01:08:49 Wrap Up and Community Plug01:13:10 After-show thoughts on new Google Icons Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 15m
  3. May 6

    #81 - Hope for All Our Intimate Relationships, with Erin Moniz

    The whole gang talked with Erin Moniz—Baylor University chaplain, Anglican deacon, and author of the excellent book Knowing and Being Known—about developing a Christian theology of intimacy. Erin’s approach to intimacy offers as a valuable critique for our culture’s obsession with romance and sex. Even more importantly, she offers a positive theological vision, exploring how friendships, family, and community relationships can become primary places where we are known, loved, and formed in Christ—with specific thoughts for queer/same-sex-attracted Side B Christians. We hope you’ll give this episode, and Erin’s book, a listen! About Our Guest Rev. Erin F. Moniz (DMin, Trinity School for Ministry) is a deacon in the Anglican Church in North America and Associate Chaplain and Director for Chapel at Baylor University, where she disciples emerging adults and journeys with them toward healthy, gospel-centered relationships. You can find her at erinfmoniz.com. — Note: This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” as shorthand for specific Christian perspectives on gay/queer sexuality. If you’re new to the conversation, you might find it helpful to check out episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠ — ★ Timestamps (00:00) #81 - Hope for All Our Intimate Relationships, with Erin Moniz (03:11) Erin’s background, serving emerging adults, Side B connections (07:32) “We lack a robust theology of intimacy” (15:03) “I can live without sex, but I cannot live without intimacy” (18:53) Romance idolatry leads to hypersexualization (22:57) What’s the difference: “Romance” vs. “Intimacy”? (28:22) When values conflict: autonomy vs. vulnerability (33:29) How AI bots could shape our intimacy (37:12) Can intimate relationships be “economic” also? (47:03) Are queer Christians better at healthy relationships? (52:36) Your advice to: “I’m falling in love with my friends” (01:01:15) Encouragement: You were made for intimacy on purpose by God — ★ Links and References Knowing and Being Known: Hope for All Our Intimate Relationships (IVP ): www.ivpress.com/knowing-and-being-known — ★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support || Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship — ★ Credits || Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza, Tyler Parker | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. ★ Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 5m
  4. Kinship Lab #02 - Conversion Therapy vs Bisexual Responsiveness?

    Apr 20

    Kinship Lab #02 - Conversion Therapy vs Bisexual Responsiveness?

    In light of the Colorado Supreme Court case Charles v. Salazar and prior conversation with Julia Sadusky and other conversations with Side X guests, we dig into Conversion Therapy (also called Reparative or Reintegrative Therapy), particularly how it intersects notions around the fluidity of sexuality. Reports on sexual fluidity opens new questions to the ethics of conversation therapies, and maybe different analysis has to why the “change is possible” narratives (e.g. Exodus Ministries) were so destructive. But maybe alternative approaches like “bisexual responsiveness” via Camille Paglia (see the linked Cracks in Postmodernity essay) suggest a different outlook on the whole affair, and open doors to intriguing considerations of the queer experience and same-sex friendship/romantic friendship. References: A fascinating article with so many intriguing quotes: Cracks in Postmodernity: Conversion Therapy vs. Bisexual Responsiveness Our episodes about/with Side X guests: #54 - Side B & Side X in Dialogue: With Jason Thompson from Portland Fellowship #48 - What Is Transformation? with Agape First Ministries #41 - Unexpected Shifts: Josh’s Story of Prayer, Healing, and Attraction #35 - Marco Casanova on Integration, Healing, and Orientation Time Stamps: 00:00 Have you thought of joining us at Revoice? 02:31 Kinship Lab on Conversion Therapy 04:09 Sexual Fluidity Debate 06:33 Tyler’s Harvard Story 10:46 Exodus and Pray Away Documentary 14:39 Modern Reorientation Claims 19:14 Identity Versus Desire/Attraction 24:25 Side B Growth and Chastity 28:19 Defining Attraction, Sanctification and Bisexual Responsiveness 35:36 On Noticing Beauty and Desire 40:53 Paglia and Rigid Labels 45:50 Sexual Category Origins, Queer Identity, and Fluidity 51:29 Friendship Versus Therapy 57:14 Chastity and Same Sex Love 01:04:35 Romantic Friendship Debate 01:06:07 Humility and Closing Thoughts Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 8m
  5. Apr 15

    #80 - Neth’s Story: Coming Out of the Closet at 54

    Our friend Neth is a father, grandfather, and licensed counselor—and at the first Revoice conference in 2018, he came out to himself as gay, at the age of 54. In this episode, Neth reflected on growing up in an abusive Christian home and how this experience shaped decades of his life. Speaking both personally and professionally, he talked with us about mixed-orientation marriages, why naming yourself “gay” isn’t merely negative self-talk but an act of honesty, and why he ultimately finds Side B compelling. See also (01:05:42): Neth’s advice for people considering therapy. — Note: This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” and “Side X” as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, we recommend listening to our episode #3, “A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality.” But just briefly, here’s how people often use these terms: * “Side A” generally refers to the perspective that affirms God can bless same-sex marriage and sexual relationships. Sides B, X, and Y all represent perspectives that uphold the historic Christian sexual ethic of marriage between a man and a woman, and sex within marriage. Beyond that agreement, in essence: * “Side B” recognizes people experience same-sex sexual attraction and may describe that experience using a variety of words or identity terms while still holding to the historical Christian sexual ethic. * ”Side X” tends to emphasize the idea that sexual orientation can change, and ministers to gay people toward the aim of being “ex gay.” * “Side Y” tends to avoid any kind of identity language associated with LGBT concerns, with the goal of not taking on an identity of being “gay.” — ★ Timestamps (00:00) #80 - Neth’s Story: Coming Out of the Closet at 54 (03:44) About Neth; and coming out after 54 years (18:46) Suppressing or repressing, and walking “normally” (31:41) A mixed orientation marriage, “arousal templates” (43:55) Healing looks like accepting myself (50:03) Gay marriage can’t produce babies (57:09) Is saying I’m gay “negative self talk,” or a map of reality? (01:00:45) Seeking church family (01:05:42) Encouragements for listeners: Get in therapy — ★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support || Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship — ★ Credits || Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza, Tyler Parker | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. | Graphic Designer: Gavin Popken, gavinpopkenart.com ★ Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 11m
  6. Mar 25

    #79 - Logan Morrison on Practical Steps for Reaching the Transgender Community

    Logan Morrison is a trans man who leads Kaleidoscope’s trans outreach ministry in New York City. Logan talked with TJ and Tyler about coming out as trans and losing a job over it, and how Christian gospel and Christian communities had positive and negative impacts on him and many others. Tune in also for conversations about: how we distinguish experiences of gender vs. sexuality (”are you trans, or are you just lesbian?”), barriers for trans people in churches (exclusion, pronouns, bathrooms, stereotypes), and some practical steps for Christians wanting to serve and engage trans people (whether or not they’re Christians). About Our Guest: Logan (he/him) serves as the Trans Care Specialist and Community Outreach Coordinator at Kaleidoscope Ministries, where he walks alongside trans individuals with compassion, advocacy, and faith-centered support. Through unexpected turns in his own journey, Logan discerned a calling to steward his trans experience as a bridge for creating space to share the hope of the gospel with other trans folks in authentic and relational ways. He lives in NYC with his chosen family and three dogs. — ★ Timestamps (00:00) #79 - Logan Morrison on Practical Steps for Reaching the Transgender Community (01:56) About Logan (03:45) Moving into trans ministry with Kaleidoscope (10:35) Coming to a definition of “trans”--and of the gospel (19:54) Barriers and misunderstandings: Being asked to leave, politicization (26:51) What’s the difference between sexuality and gender experience? (35:17) How’d you decide you were trans and not lesbian? (49:56) How my theology leads loving outreach to trans people (52:24) Advice to Christians wanting to engage/support trans people (59:44) What gives me hope: Some trans people don’t have baggage with the gospel (01:03:30) Words for trans listeners — ★ Links and References Ragamuffin Gospel: https://www.amazon.com/Ragamuffin-Gospel-Brennan-Manning/dp/1576737160 Kaleidoscope USA: https://www.kaleidoscopeusa.org/ — ★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support || Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship — ★ Credits || Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza, Tyler Parker | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. | Graphic Designer: Gavin Popken, gavinpopkenart.com ★ Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 7m

About

Welcome to New Kinship, where we are exploring and renewing ideas of belonging, desire, and being a neighbor in the Kingdom of Jesus. Together we are pursuing the communion and shalom of the church and the world. Pull up a chair and join the conversation! newkinship.substack.com

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