Pondoff's Anonymous

Chris Pondoff, Zoë Mendenall
  • 4.8 (76)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Pondoff’s Anonymous is the unfiltered recovery podcast that says the quiet part out loud. Hosted by Chris Pondoff and Zoë Mendenall, it’s real talk about addiction, recovery, and everything between. Each episode dives into relapse, trauma, shame, and the hard f*cking work of getting better. Honest, raw, and laced with gallows humor, because sometimes the only way through pain is to laugh at it.

  1. "I Stabbed Him 13 Times" with Cole Shea

    Jul 6

    "I Stabbed Him 13 Times" with Cole Shea

    Some people hit rock bottom in a single moment. For others, it's thousands of small decisions that slowly pull them further away from the life they were meant to live. On this episode of Pondoff's Anonymous, Cole Shea shares the winding road that led from a turbulent childhood and high school football dreams to heroin addiction, prison, and eventually a decade of sobriety. Growing up surrounded by addiction, violence, and instability, Cole explains how loyalty to family often collided with the boundaries that others tried to set for him—and how those choices shaped the course of his life. Cole opens up about surviving Type 1 diabetes while incarcerated, navigating years of active addiction alongside family members, the reality of prison life, and the moment he realized he couldn't keep outrunning the consequences of his decisions. Along the way, the conversation explores trauma, accountability, recovery, and the difference between simply surviving and genuinely learning how to live. Whether you've lived this story yourself or loved someone who has, Cole's honesty is a testament to the idea that your past doesn't have to write the rest of your story.

    2h 16m
  2. "I Can Tell You Every Way To Not Get Sober"

    Jun 29

    "I Can Tell You Every Way To Not Get Sober"

    This week on Pondoff’s Anonymous, Tony Martin joins the show to share a recovery journey that starts in a small town in Jefferson County and winds through family trauma, addiction, divorce, jail cells, treatment centers, Oxford House, and ultimately a life dedicated to helping others find recovery.Growing up with a mother battling severe mental illness, Tony learned early what it felt like to live in survival mode. After finally escaping a chaotic home environment as a teenager, drugs quickly became more than a way to have fun—they became a way to feel safe, accepted, and connected. What began with marijuana eventually evolved into years of methamphetamine use, heavy drinking, failed relationships, and a growing inability to imagine life without substances.Along the way, Tony reflects on the people who believed in him when he couldn't believe in himself, from his grandmother and teachers to family members who never stopped hoping he'd find another way. He shares stories that are hilarious, heartbreaking, and at times unbelievable—including military enlistment mishaps, bartending at Red Lobster, blackout drinking, and the many rationalizations addiction convinced him were perfectly reasonable.Most importantly, this episode explores what happens when someone who spent years trying to escape pain finally decides to face it. Today, Tony is helping others navigate recovery through Oxford House and nonprofit work, using every lesson from his past to serve people who are walking the same road he once did.This is a conversation about trauma, resilience, second chances, and the reality that recovery is about far more than simply putting down a drink or a drug._____________________Illinois Recovery Center:⁠ https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com/⁠Find us on Facebook, Instagram, & YouTube.⁠https://www.facebook.com/pondoffsanonymous⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pondoffsanonymous⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@pondoffsanonymous

    2h 3m
  3. "Don't Worry, Mom. I'm OK" with Chrissy Shields

    Jun 22

    "Don't Worry, Mom. I'm OK" with Chrissy Shields

    On this episode of Pondoff's Anonymous, we sit down with Chrissy Shields and her sons, Arty Berreman and Jake Shields, to share the life and legacy of AJ Berreman. Through laughter, tears, and incredible honesty, the Berreman family opens up about AJ's battle with addiction, bipolar disorder, treatment, recovery attempts, and the difficult reality of loving someone through a disease that affects the entire family.From hockey rinks and family dinners to rehab centers and heartbreaking phone calls, this conversation explores the moments that shaped AJ's life, the challenges his family faced, and the lessons they've learned in the years since his passing. Chrissy shares what it was like to watch her son struggle, the hope that kept her going, and the dream that finally brought her peace.This isn't just a story about addiction. It's a story about family, resilience, grief, faith, forgiveness, and the impact one person can have long after they're gone.Today, AJ's legacy lives on through the people who loved him, the lives touched by his story, and the annual golf tournament held in his honor.❤️ In memory of AJ Berriman.

    2h 2m
  4. Ignoring Red Flags Since 1999 with Angie Isam

    Jun 15

    Ignoring Red Flags Since 1999 with Angie Isam

    On this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Angie Isam sits down for one of the most unbelievable and emotionally raw conversations the show has had yet. What starts as stories about South City chaos, partying, and addiction quickly unfolds into a childhood filled with instability, abandonment, alcoholism, kidnapping, violence, and survival.Angie opens up about growing up in a deeply dysfunctional home, her father spiraling into alcoholism, her mother disappearing for long stretches of time, and learning to survive long before she was emotionally equipped to. Along the way, she shares stories about cocaine addiction, methamphetamine, biker culture, multiple DWIs, county jail, losing custody of her daughter, and the moments that finally forced her to confront the life she was living.But underneath all the chaos is something much deeper: redemption. Angie talks about recovery, faith, treatment, rebuilding relationships, and how her own lived experience eventually led her to helping others as Director of Admissions at Illinois Recovery Center — becoming the exact kind of person she once needed herself.

    2h 1m
  5. I Thought I Was Only Hurting Me with Matt Bauersachs

    Jun 8

    I Thought I Was Only Hurting Me with Matt Bauersachs

    On this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris and Zoe sit down with Matt Bauersachs for an honest and inspiring recovery story. Matt opens up about growing up feeling different, struggling with ADHD, lupus, self-esteem, and eventually finding himself caught in a spiral of alcohol, drugs, selling substances, and increasingly destructive behavior. What started as teenage experimentation quickly turned into blackouts, crashes, failed college attempts, and a life headed in a dangerous direction.Matt shares the pivotal moments that changed everything—from flipping a car while trying to impress a girl, to being kicked out of treatment, to the difficult boundaries his parents were forced to set when nothing else seemed to work. He reflects on the intervention efforts that helped, the ones that didn’t, and how his family's willingness to get help for themselves ultimately became a major part of his recovery journey.The conversation dives deep into long-term recovery, sober living, learning how to have fun without substances, and the surprising joy that comes from building a meaningful life one day at a time. Along the way, there are plenty of laughs about Four Lokos, tennis tournaments, ADHD medication, comedy clubs, golf courses, and the chaos that often accompanies addiction.More than anything, this episode is about hope. Matt's story is proof that even when life feels completely out of control, recovery can lead to a life richer, fuller, and more meaningful than you ever imagined. Today, he's a husband, father, recovery advocate, and living example that people can recover when given the right support and enough time.

    2h 6m
  6. Turning Pain Into Purpose with Kira Andersen

    Jun 1

    Turning Pain Into Purpose with Kira Andersen

    On this episode of Pondoff's Anonymous, Kira Andersen joins the crew for a conversation that is heartbreaking, inspiring, and deeply human all at the same time.Kira opens up about growing up with a mother who struggled with alcoholism, the complicated grief that followed her mother's death, and the loneliness that can come with loving someone through addiction. From there, the conversation explores how she coped through achievement, marathon running, entrepreneurship, and constantly staying busy rather than slowing down long enough to feel the weight of her losses.The episode also dives into Kira's love story with her late husband Kyle, from long-distance eHarmony messages and airport meetups to the life they built together. Along the way, the group discusses therapy, people-pleasing, resilience, recovery, relationships, and why some of life's biggest setbacks can ultimately become the foundation for your purpose.As always, there are plenty of laughs, side quests, and unexpected detours, but underneath it all is a powerful reminder that even after unimaginable loss, joy, connection, and meaning are still possible.

    2h 46m
  7. Competing Against Bipolar with Michael Wellington

    May 25

    Competing Against Bipolar with Michael Wellington

    On this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris, Zoë, and KG sit down with returning guest Michael Wellington—author of "Birdies, Bogeys, and Bipolar Disorder"—for an open, honest, and insightful conversation on bipolar disorder and mental health. Michael shares his journey from professional golf and devastating manic episodes to long-term stability, recovery, and helping others navigate bipolar disorder.The conversation explores the realities of living with bipolar disorder, the dangers of self-medicating with alcohol, the challenge of finding the right medication, and how routine, accountability, exercise, and gratitude became life-changing tools in Michael’s recovery. Along the way, Zoë offers a deeply personal perspective on her own bipolar diagnosis, leading to a fascinating discussion about overstimulation, “mood seizures,” and what mental illness can actually feel like from the inside.Michael also shares some incredible stories from his darkest years—including psychiatric hospital stays, losing touch with reality during manic episodes, and the intervention from close friends that ultimately helped save his life. The parallels between addiction recovery and mental health recovery become a recurring theme as the group discusses boundaries, support systems, and the importance of taking ownership of your healing.This episode is filled with practical advice, unforgettable stories, and a reminder that recovery isn’t about perfection—it’s about building habits that give you a chance to thrive.

    2h 4m
  8. 41 Surgeries Later - Rebuilding "Buff" Bagwell

    May 11

    41 Surgeries Later - Rebuilding "Buff" Bagwell

    This episode of Pondoff's Anonymous is a wild ride in every possible way. Marcus “Buff” Bagwell joins the show and immediately drops the room into stunned silence with the story of the devastating car wreck that shattered his leg, the 41 surgeries that followed, and the emotional decision to ultimately amputate it. What starts as wrestling nostalgia quickly turns into something much deeper — addiction, pain, survival, ego, faith, and the brutal realities behind fame. Buff opens up about growing up as a gifted athlete battling severe undiagnosed sleep apnea, using cocaine before high school football games, becoming obsessed with body image, and falling into decades of steroid and painkiller abuse while living the larger-than-life WCW lifestyle. He talks candidly about the culture of wrestling in the ‘90s, the normalization of pills and alcohol backstage, and how addiction could hide in plain sight when the money, fame, and physique all looked “perfect” from the outside. The conversation also dives into the rise and collapse of WCW, the Monday Night Wars, Ted Turner’s belief in wrestling, and the surreal experience of getting released by WWE just days after debuting during the invasion storyline. Along the way, there are hilarious detours about cigars, wrestling handshakes, losing a leg, and whether amputated body parts should legally belong to the hospital or the patient. It’s equal parts inspiring and heartbreaking.

    3h 22m
See All (84)

4.8
out of 5
76 Ratings

About

Pondoff’s Anonymous is the unfiltered recovery podcast that says the quiet part out loud. Hosted by Chris Pondoff and Zoë Mendenall, it’s real talk about addiction, recovery, and everything between. Each episode dives into relapse, trauma, shame, and the hard f*cking work of getting better. Honest, raw, and laced with gallows humor, because sometimes the only way through pain is to laugh at it.

Information

  • Creator
    Chris Pondoff, Zoë Mendenall
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    84
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Chris Pondoff, Zoë Mendenall
  • Show Website
    Pondoff's Anonymous

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