Real Over Ideal

Vanessa Gorelkin
  • 5.0 (7)
  • MENTAL HEALTH

Function, not perfection. Hosted by occupational therapist and executive coach Vanessa Gorelkin, Real over Ideal cuts through the noise to bring you practical strategies for life in a stressful world.

  1. 1D AGO

    Good Bodies—with Pam Moore

    Content warning: Discussions of weight loss, disordered eating, obesity (medical term vs. medical slur) and body image, body positivity narratives. The word ‘fat’ -is used as a neutral descriptor when it appears in this conversation. Navigating Body Positivity, Weight Loss, and Societal Narratives with Pam Moore This is the 1st in a 2 part series responding to the NY Times Editorial featuring former body positive 'influencer' Gabriella Loscano. In this episode, Real Over Ideal host, Vanessa Gorelkin, and friend of the podcast, Pam Moore, dissect the recent New York Times opinion piece on body positivity.  Pam and Vanessa explore the societal implications of weight bias, the nuances of intuitive eating, and media narratives around health and body size.  Key topics: The influence of media framing on societal perceptions of weight and body positivity The history & original goals of the "Health at Every Size" movement How influencer culture twisted body positivity and the importance of nuance The crux of disinformation around weight, health risks, and their correlations The role of language, such as terms "obese" and "overweight," and their societal connotations The importance of psychological flexibility and evolving self-beliefs Free NY Times Editorial with Gabriella Loscano: https://youtu.be/xXrGrsvR3wo?si=MPJDjkLE1-fV5u92 Connect with Pam Moore: https://www.pam-moore.com/  This episode encourages compassionate, nuanced conversations about health, weight, and societal narratives. Remember, evolving your beliefs and understanding is part of self-trust and growth. Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    31 min

  2. MAR 5

    Remember when the world shut down?

    In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin delves into the lasting impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic as we mark its six-year anniversary. Through a blend of personal anecdotes and expert insights, Vanessa examines the emotional and systemic challenges faced by individuals and communities worldwide. She offers a compassionate guide to understanding the profound changes in our personal and professional lives, emphasizing the importance of resilience and growth.  Listeners are invited to reflect on their own pandemic journeys with thoughtfully crafted prompts and practical strategies for processing grief and embracing a new normal. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of how we can learn from adversity, find strength in vulnerability, and foster a sense of community through shared stories and experiences. *Note: anecdotes about any of Vanessa's former employers or associates are just that--anecdotes, not claims of factual information. This is a podcast, not a court of law.  Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    14 min

  3. FEB 26

    Understanding Disappointment: Neuroscience & Resilience

    Have you ever felt the sting of a disappointment? Welcome to being a human being. In this episode of Real Over Ideal- Vanessa Gorelkin talks about the brain science of disappointment and how to manage it in your own life. She addresses a listener’s very real question and encourages listeners in their own reframe of past experiences that didn’t go as planned. Disappointment is a neurological event that affects our brain and body. In this episode, we explore how disappointment works biologically, how to reframe it, and practical strategies to recover and grow from setbacks. Key Topics The science behind disappointment: brain activity and physical painWhy disappointment is a normal biological response, not a character flawTechniques to shorten the emotional "half-life" of disappointmentPracticing emotional duality: holding two truths at onceReclaiming agency by focusing on next steps, not outcomesBuilding perspective through reflection on past recoveriesThe importance of self-respect in resilience and moving forwardIf you love practical solutions that are evidence based and delivered in language that’s down to Earth and approachable- this is the episode to try. Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    16 min

  4. FEB 19

    The Ultimate Deep Dive into Apple TV's Severance (and Plur1bus): with Allen Stare

    Exploring Severance and Beyond: A Deep Dive with Allen Stare In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin and Allen Stare, creator of the acclaimed Severed: The Ultimate Severance Podcast and host of the brand new (as of February 2026) Hello Carol: The Ultimate Plur1bus Podcast spend time exploring themes of work-life balance and corporate satire. Vanessa and Allen do some behind-the-scenes storytelling about what makes Severance such a phenomenon—plus listeners gain insights into Allen’s passion for deep analysis, storytelling, and his latest projects. Hello Carol: The Ultimate Plur1bus podcast being his newest endeavor into ultimate rewatch territory. Key Topics: The origins and creative process behind AppleTV's Severance and its thematic depthHow corporate culture and identity resonate with audiencesThe role of humor and satire in dark, heavy series like SeveranceAllen’s deep research techniques, including identifying Easter eggs and production detailsThe inspiration and influence of Office Space, Breaking Bad, and other pop culture on Allen’s podcastsPractical advice on maintaining work-life balance and finding joy in hobbies that spill over into workThe importance of detail-oriented viewing and enjoying media on a layered levelBehind the scenes stories from production, including script insights and casting detailsThe cultural commentary on employee identity and corporate control in modern workplacesHow Allen’s podcasts serve as love letters to storytelling and analytical engagementResources Hello Carol - The Ultimate Pluribus Podcast by Allen StareSevered: The Ultimate Severance Podcast by Allen StareApple TV+ Severance: https://tv.apple.com/show/severanceThe Matrix (1999):Office Space (1999)Sandy Pony Donuts: https://sandypony.com Allen Stares shares a passion for storytelling, detailed analysis, and connecting with audiences over themes of work and identity. His podcasts go beyond surface-level critique, offering a richly layered exploration of beloved series and their cultural impact. Whether you’re a Severance fan or just love deep dives into media, Allen’s work enriches understanding and sparks curiosity. Get busy taking a listen to Hello Carol: the Ultimate Plur1bus Podcast-- you won't be sorry. Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    1 hr

  5. FEB 12

    ADHD Toolkit: The Default Mode Network

    Summary In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the Default Mode Network (DMN) of the brain, its role in neurodivergence, and how it influences rumination and creativity. She discusses the importance of understanding the DMN as a feature rather than a flaw, especially in the context of ADHD and other neurodivergent conditions. Vanessa offers practical strategies for managing rumination and building a healthier relationship with one's internal narrative, emphasizing the need for mindfulness and self-reflection. Takeaways The default mode network (DMN) is active during internal thought. ADHD can cause the DMN to pull attention inward at inappropriate times. Mind wandering is not inherently negative; it can foster creativity. Therapy can help shift maladaptive DMN activity to more flexible processing. Deliberate mind wandering can help manage ruminative thoughts. Grounding techniques can help redirect focus from the DMN. Labeling thoughts can interrupt rumination loops. The DMN serves as both a wise narrator and a critic. Understanding the DMN can improve mental health management. Your brain's default mode is a meaning-making machine. Chapters 00:00 Understanding the Default Mode Network 06:31 Navigating Neurodivergence and Rumination 09:28 Strategies for Managing the Default Mode Network Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    14 min

  6. FEB 5

    The Secret Sabotage of Perfection

    In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the subtle ways perfectionism sabotages our efforts and shares practical strategies to shift from perfection-driven habits to more flexible, compassionate approaches. Learn how to recognize these patterns and build sustainable progress without the trap of perfection. Key Topics The difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionismHow perfectionism quietly undermines goal-setting and motivationRecognizing patterns like procrastination, guilt, and all-or-nothing thinkingThe importance of self-compassion and psychological flexibilitySmall actionable steps to practice imperfection intentionallyThe role of curiosity and growth-driven motivation over fear-based standardsTips for naming and neutralizing perfectionistic inner criticsHow to set flexible standards that allow for human variabilityThanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    14 min

  7. JAN 29

    Taboos: Coping with Pet Grief with Diana Magallon Romero

    Vanessa and Diana share a frank discussion of pet grief, with a few laughs because life allows us a range of emotions.  Diana and Vanessa delve into the complex emotions surrounding pet grief and the broader topic of loss. They discuss the unique bond between humans and their pets, the societal perceptions of pet grief, and the personal experiences that shape how individuals process loss. The conversation also touches on the therapeutic aspects of grief, the concept of shadow work, and the importance of embracing both light and shadow in life. Diana shares insights from her counseling practice, emphasizing the individuality of grief and the journey towards acceptance and accommodation. Takeaways Grief is a deeply personal experience and varies from person to person.Pet grief is often underestimated but can be as profound as losing a human loved one.The bond with pets is unique due to their unconditional love and companionship.Grief involves both light and shadow, requiring acceptance of both to heal.Therapy can help individuals navigate the complexities of grief and loss.Shadow work involves exploring hidden aspects of oneself to foster healing.Grief is not linear; it doesn't follow a set pattern or timeline.Embracing vulnerability and courage is essential in the grieving process.The loss of a pet can trigger reflections on mortality and personal growth.Grief can transform over time, becoming less sharp but always present.Reach Diana here: https://www.luxumbracounselling.com/ Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    20 min

  8. JAN 22

    Yin and Yang: Balance for Neurodivergents and Normals

    In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin explores the concepts of yin and yang as they relate to self-care, balance, and personal growth. She discusses the importance of recognizing one's tendencies towards action (yang) or receptivity (yin) and offers practical suggestions for achieving a harmonious balance in daily life. The episode also addresses a listener's question about work-life balance, providing evidence-based strategies for creating boundaries and transitions between work and personal time. Ultimately, Vanessa emphasizes that balance is a journey of awareness and self-compassion, rather than a destination of perfection. Takeaways The tension between doing and being is something a lot of us wrestle with. Balance between yin and yang produces harmony. Neurodivergent individuals often feel these tensions more intensely. Identifying your own tendencies is the first step to balance. Small shifts can create ripples of balance over time. Saying no is an act of self-care. You do not need neurosurgery, just awareness and intention. Balance doesn't mean every day is perfectly equal. The journey itself can be comforting and exciting. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Yin and Yang in Life 02:58 The Balance of Doing and Being 07:14 Identifying Personal Tendencies 07:58 Practical Suggestions for Balance 11:14 Listener Question: Achieving Work-Life Balance Link to Severed Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/severed-the-ultimate-severance-podcast/id1660658805 14:21 Embracing the Journey of Balance Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    14 min
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Trailer

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About

Function, not perfection. Hosted by occupational therapist and executive coach Vanessa Gorelkin, Real over Ideal cuts through the noise to bring you practical strategies for life in a stressful world.

Information

  • Creator
    Vanessa Gorelkin
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    47
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Real Over Ideal
  • Show Website
    Real Over Ideal

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