Real Over Ideal

Vanessa Gorelkin
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Mental Health

Function, not perfection. Hosted by occupational therapist and executive coach Vanessa Gorelkin, Real over Ideal cuts through the noise to bring you practical strategies for life in a stressful world.

  1. 2d ago

    Imposter Syndrome

    Embracing Imposter Syndrome: A Personal Reflection with Vanessa Gorelkin In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin openly shares her recent struggles with procrastination and imposter syndrome, providing a candid behind-the-scenes look at confronting self-doubt. It’s a relatable deep dive into understanding and managing imposter feelings, especially for high-achievers and those navigating new challenges.Key Topics   The personal battle with imposter syndrome and how it can delay progressThe prevalence and scientific basis of imposter syndrome, affecting up to 62% of peopleCharacteristics of those prone to imposter feelings: conscientious, high-achieving, sensitive Imposter syndrome as a cognitive distortion: a mismatch between perceived and actual competenceEnvironment factors that amplify imposter feelings: underrepresented groups, ambiguous rolesNeuroscience insights: the brain’s threat detection system versus confidence-buildingPractical tips to recognize and confront imposter syndrome, including labeling feelings and perspective shiftingThe importance of growth mindset: replacing "I don’t know" with "I’m learning"Standard post-graduation doubts and how they are natural steps into professional identityReassurance that feeling like an imposter signals growth, not incompetenceEncouragement to "do it anyway" despite doubts and high standards  Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    12 min

  2. Jun 18

    Ariana Grande & (Energy) Receipts like Phone Numbers

    Understanding the Bounce Back Tax: Why High-Functioning Days Leave You Drained Ever had a day where everything seems to go perfectly, only to crash the next morning? This episode breaks down the concept of the "bounce back tax" — the invisible toll your body and brain pay after high-energy days — and offers practical strategies to manage it without guilt or burnout. Main Topics Covered:  The science behind effort costs and energy expenditure How high-functioning days deplete cognitive resources and cause physical fatigueThe role of ego depletion, allostatic load, and dopamine dips in post-productivity crashesSocial science insights into social regulation fatigue and emotional laborPractical strategies: The 80% day, reset window, and minimum effort floorsReframing rest as productive recovery rather than non-functional  Remember, your high-energy days cost something — honoring that helps you build sustainable productivity and kindness to yourself. Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    14 min

  3. Jun 11

    Relapse and Recovery

    Understanding and Navigating Mental Health Relapses with Vanessa Gorelkin. In this episode, your host, Vanessa Gorelkin, a licensed occupational therapist with 30 years of experience, discusses the often misunderstood nature of mental health relapses. She shares her personal journey with depression, explains why relapse is a common part of recovery, and provides practical strategies to cope and prevent shame during setbacks. Main Topics: The reality of mental health relapses as a natural, predictable part of recoveryThe importance of accepting medication and continuous care for chronic mental health conditionsHow shame and silence can worsen mental health setbacks and why honesty is vitalPractical steps: honesty, consistency, and compassion during relapseStories of resilience, including Kaylee's experience with depression and relapse managementThe significance of support systems and open communication with loved onesMyths about linear recovery and embracing a lifelong management approach Remember, relapse is a chapter, not the entire story. With honesty, support, and self-compassion, you can navigate setbacks and continue your journey towards mental wellness. Hey listeners! From the heart-- this episode was emotional--  I cried while I recorded it (admittedly, I'm a pretty easy crier!) because talking about relapse is painful but I truly hope this episode helpful someone today. Sending love your way. Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    18 min

  4. Jun 4

    Life Skills Toolbox: Body Doubling

    Struggling with household tasks due to overwhelm or ADHD? Vanessa Gorelkin shares a compassionate, step-by-step body doubling approach to help you initiate and complete chores with less stress. This episode offers practical exercises to tackle cleaning, laundry, and dishes in manageable blocks, emphasizing progress over perfection. Key Topics: The concept of body doubling and its benefits for neurodivergent brainsWhy tasks pile up: breaking down complex chores into simple, achievable stepsHow co-presence reduces cognitive load and increases task initiationThe importance of micro-movements and focusing on one item at a timeGuided routines for cleaning a room, doing laundry, and washing dishesStrategies for managing overwhelm, including silence and pacing techniquesEncouragement to view progress as meaningful, not perfectWe hope you enjoy this body doubling experiential episode! Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    39 min

  5. May 28

    Fear of being Perceived

    Embracing Visibility: Overcoming Fear of Being Perceived What is the fear of being perceived? Discover practical ways to navigate the universal fear of being perceived in a world obsessed with visibility.  Vanessa Gorelkin explores this fear and why it intensifies, especially in the digital age and post-pandemic, and offers actionable strategies to build confidence and authenticity. Main Topics: The emotional experience behind the fear of being perceivedHow hyper-visibility impacts mental health and behaviorPractical exercises to gradually increase comfort with visibility In this episode: Why the fear of being perceived isn’t about literal watching but interpretationThe rise of hyper-visibility and self-surveillance in modern cultureCommon behavioral responses: shrinking, masking, disappearing The importance of 'being seen' as a fundamental human needThree practical experiments to reduce fear: micro-visibility, separating perception from judgment, letting others be wrongHow the pandemic has heightened self-consciousness and self-observationAccepting imperfection and building resilience against misinterpretation Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    13 min

  6. May 21

    The Second Wind Phenomenon

    In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin dives into the science behind the second wind phenomenon and how understanding your circadian rhythms can help you harness your natural energy peaks. Learn practical strategies to create earlier moments of safety and unclench your nervous system for increased daytime productivity. The biological basis of the second wind and circadian rhythmsHow and why your brain experiences a surge of energy late at nightPractical techniques to shift renewal moments earlier in your day Understanding safety cues that help your nervous system relaxCreating micro moments of calm to optimize daytime alertnessHow to balance evening energy surges with next-day productivityIn this episode: What the second wind phenomenon is and the science behind itWhy your brain feels alert and clear in late hours without external demandsThe hidden cost of late-night energy and how it affects tomorrow’s energyTechniques for inducing an earlier "unclench" moment to improve daytime focusHow to recreate quiet, demand-free environments earlier in the day The importance of safety signals like exhaling longer, small wins, and routinesReal-world advice for those experiencing peak energy at unconventional timesThe mental shift from blame to understanding your natural rhythms    Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    13 min

  7. May 14

    Doubt as a super power: Motivational Interviewing

    In this episode, host Vanessa Gorelkin describes how doubt can be harnessed to create a powerful path towards reaching our most important goals. As a follow up to the Motivation episode: learn about a technique that is used to help people with addiction, weight management, exercise goals and much more, called Motivational Interviewing. This episode provides some starting instruction in this powerful process so that you can experience the power of turning ambivalence into action.  Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    15 min

  8. May 7

    Is Internal Family Systems Bullsh*t ?

    Title: Unpacking Internal Family Systems: Benefits, Critiques, and Practical InsightsIn this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the therapeutic model of Internal Family Systems (IFS), sharing her personal experiences, scientific findings, common critiques, anda practical exercise. Whether you're a practitioner, client, or simply curious about this approach, you'll find valuable insights into how IFS can support healing and self-understanding.Key Topics: The principles behind Internal Family Systems: parts, self, and internal leadershipVanessa's personal experiences and how IFS fosters breakthroughsThe controversy: critiques around research, metaphor reliance, and trauma oversimplificationScientific evidence supporting IFS: PTSD reduction, emotional regulation, and empowermentThe response to critiques: research limitations, the role of imagery, and trauma complexityPractical demonstration: a safe, simple IFS exercise for self-awarenessHow to assess a therapist's use of IFS and avoid potential misuse The importance of applying IFS within a broader, trauma-informed contextThe potential for transformation when used ethically and skillfully Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

    17 min
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Trailer

5
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

Function, not perfection. Hosted by occupational therapist and executive coach Vanessa Gorelkin, Real over Ideal cuts through the noise to bring you practical strategies for life in a stressful world.

Information

  • Creator
    Vanessa Gorelkin
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    62
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Real Over Ideal
  • Show Website
    Real Over Ideal

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