The Addicted Mind Podcast Duane Osterlind, LMFT

Many people go through their day always having to do something. Whether that’s getting involved in your kid’s activities, running errands, or working – you do things every day to ignite your fire. Even when you work out, you think the harder, faster, or heavier it is, the better. 
The question is, do you still have the time to breathe? It’s important to understand that as much as you’re igniting your fire within, you also have to find your breath. 
On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Michelle Hillier, speaker, recovery coach, and mind/body educator, about finding your breath and fire and balancing both as you come home to your authentic self.
Michelle shares her story of alcoholism and recovery. Now sober for over a year, Michelle feels she has entered her authentic self again, after being lost for 25 years. Movement, yoga, and breathwork were essential parts of her recovery process, which she also teaches to other people through her speaking and workshops across organizations.
In this episode, you will hear:

Michelle’s story of recovery

Hiding the need for support through alcohol

Glamorizing booze amidst the pandemic

How she found her authentic self

Finding her middle way between breath and fire

How to use movement, breathwork, and yoga to connect to your authentic self

Key Quotes:
[16:32] - “I thought ‘what would my life look like without alcohol? And then I would just not want to think about it and continue drinking.”
[27:26] - "Breath and Fire was birthed out of my recovery."
[29:03] - “Having either a pilot light or a blazing inferno, how do we find this optimal, controlled blaze? The birth of Breath and Fire is from recognizing in my day – when do I need breath and when do I need fire?”
[31:09] - “When are you taking time, even just 10 minutes, to let your nervous system settle and find your breath?”
[32:59] - “If you want to squat or do a stretch or whatever it is, move the energy through your body.”
[34:15] - "Meditation is just being aware of our thoughts. Sitting in physical stillness and closing your eyes... connect to your breath, be aware of it."
[40:56] - “There's lots of power in one breath. Never forget that.”
Subscribe and Review
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We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
Website: https://www.breathandfire.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathandfire 
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Over the years, our society has normalized drinking. At almost every party or event, booze is a huge part of the celebration. No booze = no fun. But what if we could create a space where everyone can just have fun while still being their authentic self – minus the alcohol?
On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Drew Davis, Founder of Gem Life + Bar. Drew tells her story of healing trauma, her resiliency, and her drive to move forward and create a space of wellness that gives people the opportunity to enjoy social spaces without alcohol. 
Over the last decade, Drew has battled the ugly side effects of autoimmune diseases. At the same time, she struggled with depression which led her to resort to drinking. After experiencing some life-threatening issues with some of her autoimmune diseases, Drew knew it was time for her to reevaluate the toxic things in her life and move towards a healthy and authentic space. 
Drew created Gem Bar, an inclusive alcohol-free space that allows people to indulge, experience, and connect with booze-free options, as well as achieve sustainable wellness and self-care. 
In this episode, you will hear:

What it’s like to struggle with autoimmune diseases

How to deal with trauma head-on

An elevated living with an alcohol-free life

What happens at the Gem Bar

How to deal with the negative voices in your head

Key Quotes:
[09:41] - "There was a lot of healing I have to do in order to become a better human to myself and to everybody around me."
[11:08] - "There was so much trauma stored in my body. And I knew that's what was causing me to be sick."
[18:25] - “It's just a beautiful place to be when you have nothing to influence you but you're just your raw authentic self.”
[19:34] - “Our society teaches us the opposite. There’s always so much shame and guilt about being who we are a lot of times and that causes trauma.”
[20:52] - “Sometimes you feel like you're alone in your trauma or nobody understands. It's nice to connect with people who understand a certain level without judgment. 
[20:56] - “Giving is always healing, without expectations of receiving.”
[22:43] - “It's just beautiful to watch the shift in the mindset of normalizing not drinking.”
Subscribe and Review
Have you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. 
We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
Website: https://gemlifecollective.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gemlifeandbar/​​ 
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dealing with Codependency in the LGBTQ+ Community with Miriam Geiger
The LGBTQ community has long been underserved by the mental health care system as well as recovery supports, despite being an increasingly visible and sizable part of the general population. In part, this is due to the ongoing discrimination and prejudice that members of the LGBTQ community face on a daily basis. 
According to Marriage and Family therapist, Miriam Geiger, who is also part of the LGBTQ+ community, many LGBTQ people find themselves struggling with issues of codependency in their relationships due to the overlapping issues of trauma, marginalization, and lack of safe spaces to express themselves and their identity.
If you want to learn more about Miriam and her work around codependency and relationships, check out https://theaddictedmind.com/198 and her website miriamgeiger.com.
In this episode, you will hear:

Codependency in the LGBTQ+ community

Dealing with a sense of distorted self

Why the LGBTQ+ people are the most empathetic people

Other common issues that the LGBTQ+ community faces

The challenges of being in such a small community

Thinking about the developmental process and lifespan as an LGBTQ

Finding your way to recovery


Key Quotes:
[10:01] - “The self wants to be accepted by the community.”
[13:38] - “We need other people to love us… But the problem is that the drive is so strong, that when you layer on this other stuff, it gets a little convoluted."
[20:25] - "The LGBTQ people are some of the most empathetic, sweetest, and loving. When you come out of hard things, it also creates all this tenderness and the ability to have empathy."
[24:58] - “Just asking ‘what was your coming out’ like can be great. It's not all about sexuality or gender, necessarily, but it's not ‘not about it’ at the same time.”
[27:07] - "Think about people in a developmental process almost, that it does affect every little part of the lifespan in its own unique way. It's very different to be an LGBTQ senior."
[29:53] - "One thing I've learned is that people are all the same, and they're all incredibly different." 
[33:33] - "Find something that resonates and gives you some sense of hope, and also some sense of direction."

Subscribe and Review
Have you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. 
We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.

Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
www.MiriamGeiger.com 

Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Amy Liz Harrison, host of the Eternally Amy podcast and author of several amazing books "Eternally Expecting" and "Eternally Awkward." 
Amy shares her story of struggling with alcohol, being a mom of eight, and how finally, in one very difficult moment, she had to face herself and the consequences of her drinking. She unveils her whole story from the beginning, all the way to the end, and finally, to where she is now, living a fulfilling life that is meaningful, connected, and authentic.
Growing up, Amy felt she didn’t belong. She built a life and a foundation around faith so she was conditioned that she should be able to get through anything because she’s got God. And so, there was this thread of shame as an overarching theme in her life, thinking she didn’t have the right to feel that way. She was concerned about where to find this manual to life, because it was not showing up in her mailbox. Eventually, she found herself addicted to drinking and faking her way through rehab – until that one fateful day when she was left with no other choice but to surrender.
Learn more about Amy’s inspiring story today and how one little spark of willingness is all it took for her to finally come to healing and light. 
 
In this episode, you will hear:

Her first experience with alcohol and how her alcohol use progressed

Getting into rehab through the help of her husband

The mental gymnastics involved

The pivotal moment getting a DUI

Going through recovery for yourself and not for anyone else

The importance of having someone to hold space for you early on

Finding empowerment and realizing you have power in the situation


Key Quotes:
[18:13] - "The alcohol was like pouring gasoline on a fire. It just didn't help at all, if anything, it completely inflamed the situation."
[22:11] - "I faked my way through rehab... I spent the next two weeks telling all those neighbor friends and everybody I knew that rehab had taught me how to drink normally."
[25:07] - "Before I understood the disease of addiction, I had no tolerance at all, no empathy for any of these stories."
[28:17] - "I'm going to have to try and do this for me... I just had a little tiny spark of willingness at that point. And that was what I needed."
[30:03] - “The onset of the crazy and wildly wonderful part of recovery is that so many things were the opposite of what I thought."
[38:23] - "What is my part in all the resentments that I've developed over the years and all of the things that I've wanted to blame somebody else for?" 
[41:47] - "I realized it was okay to be a human being with feelings. To walk through those feelings and to process them was so much better than trying to numb them out." 
[46:09] - “Consider the possibility that maybe – just maybe – it could be better on the other side.

Subscribe and Review
Have you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. 
We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.

Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
Instagram: @amylizharrison
Email: amy@amylizharrison.com 
Podcast: https://sites.libsyn.com/411644 
Website: amylizharrison.com

Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Recovery from addiction doesn’t just stop there. People in recovery could still be struggling with depression. While addiction and depression are somewhat correlated, both of them should still be addressed individually.
In this episode, Duane speaks with Amy Law and Jeff Deck, authors of the book, “We Got This, Kids: A real-time and raw glimpse of alcoholism, depression, and loss during a search for more sunrises.” Amy shares the story of her brother, Andy, who committed suicide after a struggle with alcoholism and depression. 
At that time, Andy was writing his memoirs but never got to finish them. Amy's courage to share Andy's story and to let people into that is truly inspiring. In the book, Amy also shares her perspective of taking Andy’s memoirs and how she collaborated with Jeff Deck to bring their beautiful message to completion and share it with the world.
If you're struggling or contemplating suicide, please reach out for help call 988 or 1-800-273-8255 if you're in the United States. If you're outside of the United States, search for a suicide hotline, reach out for help, and get the support that you need.
 
In this episode, you will hear:

Andy’s addiction story

Why Amy decided to share Andy’s story

Why Jeff decided to collaborate in writing the book

The reason behind the title of the book

Normalizing the topic of addiction and mental illness


Key Quotes:
[11:33] - " Depression lies... It lied to my brother. And as a result, it robbed him of the rest of his life." - Amy Law
[19:08] - "Andy's story was so immediate and raw that I felt like the value that I could provide to other people suffering in similar situations was potentially immense." - Jeff Deck
[25:51] - "Our intention is to help other families and everybody who's suffering from addiction and mental illness… It's time to normalize some of these conversations. It's overdue." - Amy Law
[29:37] - "The small things can be so helpful. Even if it's just helping with loneliness and feeling you're alone in mental illness or depression or alcoholism. You're not." - Amy Law
[30:49] - "A temporary decision leads to irreversible consequences. We hope people see that in this book and recognize if they are having a really dark moment, it's a temporary thing.” - Jeff Deck
[31:44] - "Hang on. Seek out the help. No matter how small you think that help is, it probably has the potential to move mountains. Make that call." - Amy Law
[32:07] - "To families, if you have even the slightest, barely audible alarm going off in your mind, pay attention to it. Pay very close attention to that. If it's present, act on it." - Amy Law

Subscribe and Review
Have you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. 
We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.

Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
“We Got This, Kids: A real-time and raw glimpse of alcoholism, depression, and loss during a search for more sunrises”
https://www.amazon.com/Got-This-Kids-alcoholism-depression/dp/B09TDSCCB5 

Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The fear of abandonment is universal. The problem is – we try to medicate that feeling with whatever gives us instant gratification (drugs, alcohol, food, television, sleeping, social media, shopping, etc.) 
Whatever that looks like, addiction can stem from an unhealed abandonment wound. And when you fail to take care of that wound, it can lead to self-sabotage. So how do we heal our abandonment issues?
On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Susan Anderson, founder of Abandonment Recovery, a program that helps people with numerous issues such as heartbreak loss, self-sabotage, addiction, and compulsion. Susan shares her own story of how she got into this work of dealing with abandonment. Susan gives us an illustration of what abandonment looks like, how it impacts our life, and what we can do to overcome it.
Susan points out that overcoming abandonment is a doing process. Therefore, just knowing about it isn't necessarily going to help you overcome the wound that may be negatively impacting your life. There needs to be action.
In this episode, you will hear:

Why abandonment is universal

The correlation between abandonment and addiction

Loneliness as a huge adult trigger

Early abandonment vs. normal level of abandonment

Self-sabotage and the outer child

Forms of self-sabotage

The power of visualization


Key Quotes:
[02:36] - "Abandonment translates to separation anxiety, which is something we all share as human beings. It's universal and we medicate that feeling.”
[04:16] - “We all have a fear of abandonment, and when it's triggered by an adult experience, it can create a cascade of hormonal processes in the brain. No matter how strong we are, we can all experience a serious emotional crisis if the trigger is big enough in adulthood."
[05:37] - "Overcoming abandonment is a doing process, not just a feeling process. It's a recovery. It's an ongoing process."
[10:53] - "When we are going through an adult trigger, even if it's a mild trigger, the thing that we are most vulnerable to is becoming addicted to a substance or to an activity."
[19:01] - "If you've had a lot of abandonment, you have a lot of self-sabotage... and you repeat the thing that's so familiar."
[29:16] "You don't have to make gigantic changes to have your dreams start to line. You need to make enough of a change just to get that door to swing. It's an amazing thing that small changes make huge differences."
[34:18] "Everyone's looking for a magic bullet that's why addictions are so popular... but they have to enter on a journey of developing a new relationship with themselves and it's something they have to really work out and take very seriously."
Subscribe and Review
Have you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. 
We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.
Supporting Resources:
NovusMindfulLife.com
Abandonment Recovery
https://www.abandonment.net/ 
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices