Surviving Toxic Relationships Podcast with The Matadoras

Elizabeth Jane and Deana Lynn

Surviving Toxic Relationships is a Christian podcast for women who are ready to break free from toxic, emotionally abusive, or narcissistic relationships and step into healing, clarity, and truth.  Deana and Lizzie are two women whose lives unexpectedly crossed when they were married to the SAME manipulative, cheating, financially abusive partner.  Their combined passion is to provide women with the tools to avoid, escape, or heal from toxic, harmful, or confusing relationships.   If you’ve been searching for faith based wisdom that goes deeper than surface-level advice, this show is for you. We talk honestly about trauma, emotional wounds, spiritual confusion, and the process of rebuilding your identity through faith.   Our esteemed guests consist of Therapists, Authors, Doctors, and Survivors. Together, we explore topics that include self-discovery and healing, narcissistic abuse, boundaries, discernment, and learning to hear God’s voice clearly in relationships.  Whether you’re trying to avoid early red flags, are in the middle of a toxic relationship, or recovering from one, this emotional and spiritual healing podcast offers real conversations, practical insight, and biblical encouragement to help you move forward into hope, restoration, self worth, and renewal.  Remember beautiful friends: You are not alone, You are not crazy, and You are deeply, deeply loved.   Deana & Lizzie

  1. 5D AGO

    Episode #99: Brain Hijack in Relationships Why You Feel Unsafe in Love (Even When You’re Not) | Diane McDowell

    In this powerful episode of Surviving Toxic Relationships with The Matadoras, we sit down with Diane McDowell, creator of the Brain to Heart Code, to uncover why so many emotionally intelligent women still feel unsafe in love—even in healthy relationships. If you’ve ever:  Overreacted and didn’t know why  Felt triggered by something small  Struggled with people pleasing or weak boundaries  Attracted the same unhealthy relationship patterns …this episode will change how you understand yourself. Diane explains the concept of the “brain hijack”—when your nervous system mistakes safety for danger—and how this subconscious wiring impacts your relationships, reactions, and ability to set boundaries. We also dive into:  Why disconnection is NOT a communication issue  The truth about boundaries (and why most people get them wrong)  How people pleasing is actually self-abandonment  The difference between your emotions and someone else’s “emotional dumping”  Practical tools to regain control and rebuild emotional safety This conversation is for anyone ready to break toxic cycles, reclaim their voice, and build healthier, more grounded relationships—from the inside out. 🔗 Connect with Diane McDowell: Website: https://www.powerfulquestionscoaching.com Mini Course: https://www.powerfulquestionscoaching.com/the-brain-to-heart-mini-course 🎙️ Stay Connected with Us! 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: @survivingrelationships12 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: @survivingtoxicrel 🌐 Visit our website: survivingtoxicrelationships.org Looking to be a guest or host a guest for your podcast? https://www.joinpodmatch.com/deanalizzie 📘 Our book is available on Amazon:  Love With Eyes Wide Open: Teaching Our Daughters to Recognize Red Flags and God's Voice in Relationships Not sure what you’re actually seeing in your relationship?            ↓  Get your FREE Discernment Checklist ↓                                                                 https://the-matadoras.kit.com/survivingtoxicrelationships Contact us anytime at our email:  care@survivingtoxicrelationships.org  📘 Join our Facebook community: Surviving Toxic Relationships  Disclaimer:  The views expressed by our guests are their own, and this show is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy, medical, or professional advice, and listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in crisis or immediate danger, please call 911 for help.  ...

    32 min
  2. APR 8

    Episode #98: How Toxic Relationships Make You Feel Unlovable (And How to Heal) | Ashana Kaiulani

    In this powerful episode of Surviving Toxic Relationships, we sit down with trauma support specialist and reclamation coach Ashana Kaiulani to unpack what toxic relationships really do to your identity, self-worth, and ability to receive love. We dive into: Why toxic relationships make you feel unlovableThe truth about “reactive abuse” and self-blameHow trauma rewires your identity and behaviorsWhy you can’t “think” your way into healingThe role of safe relationships in true recoveryHow to soften without losing your boundariesThis is not just about surviving—it’s about reclaiming who you are. Listen now and take your first step back home to yourself. Don’t forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE with someone who needs this. Relevant links for Ashana’a information:  https://linktr.ee/ashanak  https://www.youtube.com/@WayHomeWellness https://www.instagram.com/wayhomewellness/ 🎙️ Stay Connected with Us! 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: @survivingrelationships12 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: @survivingtoxicrel 🌐 Visit our website: survivingtoxicrelationships.org Looking to be a guest or host a guest for your podcast? https://www.joinpodmatch.com/deanalizzie 📘 Our book is available on Amazon:  Love With Eyes Wide Open: Teaching Our Daughters to Recognize Red Flags and God's Voice in Relationships Not sure what you’re actually seeing in your relationship?            ↓  Get your FREE Discernment Checklist ↓                                                                 https://the-matadoras.kit.com/survivingtoxicrelationships Contact us anytime at our email:  care@survivingtoxicrelationships.org  📘 Join our Facebook community: Surviving Toxic Relationships  Disclaimer:  The views expressed by our guests are their own, and this show is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy, medical, or professional advice, and listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in crisis or immediate danger, please call 911 for help.  ...

    33 min
  3. MAR 25

    Episode #97: The Nice Guy Trap | Barb Nangle on Codependency, Boundaries, and Healthy Love

    Codependency, toxic relationships, healthy boundaries, and emotional healing are at the center of this powerful conversation with boundaries coach Barb Nangle, founder of Higher Power Coaching and host of Fragmented to Whole. After decades of therapy and personal development, Barb hit a codependent breaking point at age 52. What followed was a life-changing journey through 12-step recovery, where she began to understand patterns of people pleasing, rescuing, and losing herself in relationships. In this episode, Barb shares: What codependency actually looks like in real lifeWhy focusing on others causes you to lose yourselfHow ignoring your own needs becomes a patternThe difference between being “nice” and being kindWhy charm can be misleading in relationshipsHow toxic behavior creates confusion, not always chaosWhat healthy boundaries actually look like in practiceHow boundaries lead to healthier communication and intimacyWhat a truly healthy relationship feels likeWhy it is never too late to change your patternsWe also discuss the emotional confusion that comes from being with someone everyone else sees as “a nice person,” and how that can cause you to question your own perception. If you have ever ignored red flags, overfunctioned in relationships, or felt like you lost yourself trying to make things work, this conversation will give you language, perspective, and hope. 🎙️ Stay Connected with Us! 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: @survivingrelationships12 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: @survivingtoxicrel 🌐 Visit our website: survivingtoxicrelationships.org Looking to be a guest or host a guest for your podcast? https://www.joinpodmatch.com/deanalizzie 📘 Our book is available on Amazon:  Love With Eyes Wide Open: Teaching Our Daughters to Recognize Red Flags and God's Voice in Relationships Not sure what you’re actually seeing in your relationship?            ↓  Get your FREE Discernment Checklist ↓                                                                 https://the-matadoras.kit.com/survivingtoxicrelationships Contact us anytime at our email:  care@survivingtoxicrelationships.org  📘 Join our Facebook community: Surviving Toxic Relationships  Disclaimer:  The views expressed by our guests are their own, and this show is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy, medical, or professional advice, and listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in crisis or immediate danger, please call 911 for help.  ...

    40 min
  4. MAR 18

    Episode #96: Moral Injury Explained | How Trauma, Abuse, and Faith Collide (Dr. Larry Brant)

    Moral injury is one of the most misunderstood forms of trauma—and it may explain why so many women leaving toxic or abusive relationships still feel broken, ashamed, or beyond forgiveness. In this powerful episode of Surviving Toxic Relationships, we sit down with Navy Chaplain and combat veteran Dr. Larry Brant, who has spent decades helping individuals heal from PTSD, spiritual trauma, and moral injury. Together, we explore: What moral injury actually is (and how it’s different from PTSD)How toxic relationships and spiritual abuse create deep identity woundsWhy many women feel “unforgivable” after abuseHow faith is often twisted to control and silenceThe critical role of safe, non-judgmental support in healingWhy “just pray more” is not enoughA real pathway to restoration, healing, and hopeIf you’ve ever felt:  ✔️ Like something is deeply wrong with you  ✔️ Spiritually confused after a relationship  ✔️ Ashamed of what you tolerated or experienced  ✔️ Disconnected from your faith or identity This conversation will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and why healing is possible. Dr. Brandt’s book: Restoring the Broken  https://a.co/d/0eXHyJ6H 🎙️ Stay Connected with Us! 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: @survivingrelationships12 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: @survivingtoxicrel 🌐 Visit our website: survivingtoxicrelationships.org Looking to be a guest or host a guest for your podcast? https://www.joinpodmatch.com/deanalizzie 📘 Our book is available on Amazon:  Love With Eyes Wide Open: Teaching Our Daughters to Recognize Red Flags and God's Voice in Relationships Not sure what you’re actually seeing in your relationship?            ↓  Get your FREE Discernment Checklist ↓                                                                 https://the-matadoras.kit.com/survivingtoxicrelationships Contact us anytime at our email:  care@survivingtoxicrelationships.org  📘 Join our Facebook community: Surviving Toxic Relationships  Disclaimer:  The views expressed by our guests are their own, and this show is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy, medical, or professional advice, and listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in crisis or immediate danger, please call 911 for help.  ...

    35 min
  5. MAR 11

    Episode #95: How Toxic Relationships Keep Women Stuck | Nikki Allen on Abuse, Trauma Bonds, and Healing

    Why do women stay in toxic relationships? In this powerful episode of Surviving Toxic Relationships, Nikki Allen shares her personal story of emotional abuse, physical violence, trauma bonding, identity loss, and the long journey toward healing and self-love. Nikki is the author of Loved You, Hated You, a bold novel inspired by real-life heartbreak. What began as a song became a screenplay and then a gripping work of fiction rooted in betrayal, emotional captivity, and the power of choosing yourself. In this conversation, Nikki opens up about abusive relationship patterns, why women stay, how childhood wounds can shape adult relationships, what healing really looks like, and how healthy love can feel unfamiliar after toxic love. We also talk about: toxic relationships and emotional abusetrauma bonds and why leaving is so harddomestic violence and reactive abuseself-worth after abusetriggers in healthy relationshipsboundaries, healing, and self-lovehow creativity can help process heartbreak and traumaNikki’s book Loved You, Hated You If you have ever asked yourself, “Why did I stay?” or struggled to trust healthy love after surviving abuse, this episode is for you. Find Nikki Allen and her work at NikkiAllen.com Subscribe for more conversations on toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, healing, boundaries, faith, and emotional recovery. 🎙️ Stay Connected with Us! 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: @survivingrelationships12 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: @survivingtoxicrel 🌐 Visit our website: survivingtoxicrelationships.org Looking to be a guest or host a guest for your podcast? https://www.joinpodmatch.com/deanalizzie 📘 Our book is available on Amazon:  Love With Eyes Wide Open: Teaching Our Daughters to Recognize Red Flags and God's Voice in Relationships Not sure what you’re actually seeing in your relationship?            ↓  Get your FREE Discernment Checklist ↓                                                                 https://the-matadoras.kit.com/survivingtoxicrelationships Contact us anytime at our email:  care@survivingtoxicrelationships.org  📘 Join our Facebook community: Surviving Toxic Relationships  Disclaimer:  The views expressed by our guests are their own, and this show is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy, medical, or professional advice, and listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in crisis or immediate danger, please call 911 for help.  ...

    39 min
  6. MAR 9

    Episode #94: When Scripture Is Used to Control | Spiritual Confusion, Marriage, and Discernment

    Can scripture be misused in marriage? In this honest and faith-centered conversation, Lizzie and Deana explore a difficult but important topic many Christian women quietly wrestle with: what happens when Bible verses are quoted without context and used to justify control, silence, or emotional harm. This episode discusses spiritual confusion in marriage, the misapplication of scripture, and the difference between biblical submission and spiritual manipulation. Many women have been told to submit more, pray more, endure more—yet instead of finding peace, they experience guilt, confusion, and spiritual fog. Lizzie shares personal experiences from a spiritually abusive marriage, while Deana discusses how spiritual confusion can develop when isolated verses are used without the full context of scripture. This conversation is not about attacking marriage or promoting divorce. Marriage is sacred and covenant matters deeply. Instead, this discussion seeks to bring clarity, discernment, and healing to women who may feel spiritually trapped or confused. Topics discussed in this episode: • Spiritual confusion in Christian marriages  • When scripture is used to justify control  • The difference between submission and manipulation  • Misapplied Bible verses in toxic relationships  • How spiritual abuse creates guilt and confusion  • The role of discernment in faith and relationships  • Why endurance is not always holiness  • Questions women can ask when seeking clarity If you’ve ever wondered: “Am I sinning if I leave?”  “Is this conviction from God… or pressure from someone else?” This episode invites you to explore those questions prayerfully and thoughtfully. Because loving with eyes wide open means we seek truth, peace, and discernment. 🎙️ Stay Connected with Us! 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: @survivingrelationships12 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: @survivingtoxicrel 🌐 Visit our website: survivingtoxicrelationships.org Looking to be a guest or host a guest for your podcast? https://www.joinpodmatch.com/deanalizzie 📘 Our book is available on Amazon:  Love With Eyes Wide Open: Teaching Our Daughters to Recognize Red Flags and God's Voice in Relationships Not sure what you’re actually seeing in your relationship?            ↓  Get your FREE Discernment Checklist ↓                                                                 https://the-matadoras.kit.com/survivingtoxicrelationships Contact us anytime at our email:  care@survivingtoxicrelationships.org  📘 Join our Facebook community: Surviving Toxic Relationships  Disclaimer:  The views expressed by our guests are their own, and this show is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy, medical, or professional advice, and listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in crisis or immediate danger, please call 911 for help.  ...

    25 min
  7. MAR 4

    Episode #93: When Intimacy Disappears: The Hidden Sign You’re in a Toxic Relationship. Dr Jordin Wiggins

    What if your burnout, sexual dysfunction, anxiety, or confusion isn’t a hormone problem… but a coercive control problem? In this powerful episode of Surviving Toxic Relationships, we sit down with naturopathic physician, author of The Pink Canary, and host of The Pleasure Principles, Dr. Jordin Wiggins. Jordin works with high-achieving women who appear successful on the outside but are secretly struggling in sexless marriages, emotionally abusive relationships, or rebuilding after divorce. In this conversation, we discuss: • What coercive control actually looks like  • Why “super traits” make women more vulnerable to abuse  • The connection between toxic relationships and sexual dysfunction  • Why traditional therapy often misses power dynamics  • Why abuse escalates after separation  • How burnout, binge eating, libido loss, and anxiety may be trauma responses  • Why “hurt people hurt people” can excuse abuse Dr. Wiggins shares her personal story of unknowingly being in an abusive relationship, the medical symptoms she developed, and how awareness changed everything. If you have ever felt confused, blamed yourself, or wondered why nothing you tried “fixed” the relationship, this episode is for you. Because sometimes the problem isn’t you. It’s the system you’re living in. Links to Dr. Wiggins’ book, podcast, and quizzes are below. (Supertraits Quiz) https://form.typeform.com/to/p9OQD3F5?typeform-source=www.upwork.com (Website) https://www.thepleasurecollective.com/ Subscribe for more faith-centered conversations on discernment, emotional health, and healing from toxic relationships. 🎙️ Stay Connected with Us! 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: @survivingrelationships12 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: @survivingtoxicrel 🌐 Visit our website: survivingtoxicrelationships.org Looking to be a guest or host a guest for your podcast? https://www.joinpodmatch.com/deanalizzie 📘 Our book is available on Amazon:  Love With Eyes Wide Open: Teaching Our Daughters to Recognize Red Flags and God's Voice in Relationships Not sure what you’re actually seeing in your relationship?            ↓  Get your FREE Discernment Checklist ↓                                                                 https://the-matadoras.kit.com/survivingtoxicrelationships Contact us anytime at our email:  care@survivingtoxicrelationships.org  📘 Join our Facebook community: Surviving Toxic Relationships  Disclaimer:  The views expressed by our guests are their own, and this show is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy, medical, or professional advice, and listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in crisis or immediate danger, please call 911 for help.  ...

    34 min
  8. MAR 2

    Episode #92: Christian Boundaries vs Walls: Protecting Your Peace in Toxic or Spiritually Confusing Relationships

    What if boundaries aren’t rejection… but stewardship? Many Christian women struggle to set boundaries because they fear being unloving, unforgiving, or “not submissive enough.” But boundaries are not walls. They are not punishment. They are protection. In this episode of Surviving Toxic Relationships and the Love With Eyes Wide Open series, Lizzie and Deana unpack the biblical difference between boundaries and emotional walls — and why discernment and boundaries must work together. You’ll hear: • Why people-pleasing leads to resentment  • The difference between faith-based boundaries and fear-based walls  • How spiritual manipulation distorts Scripture  • What healthy boundaries actually sound like in real life  • Why boundaries require follow-through  • When a silent exit plan may be necessary  • How to stop feeling guilty for protecting your peace If you’ve ever asked:  Am I overreacting?  Is it unchristian to protect myself?  Why do I feel guilty when I say no? This conversation will help you move forward with clarity, courage, and Christ-centered wisdom. Because discernment recognizes truth.  Boundaries protect the peace that follows.  Resources Mentioned:  Love With Eyes Wide Open: Teaching Our Daughters to Recognize Red Flags and God’s Voice in Relationships: https://amzn.to/45VZISD Coming soon: When Something Feels Wrong Follow Surviving Toxic Relationships for more faith-based conversations on emotional health, toxic relationship patterns, and spiritual discernment. 🎙️ Stay Connected with Us! 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: @survivingrelationships12 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: @survivingtoxicrel 🌐 Visit our website: survivingtoxicrelationships.org Looking to be a guest or host a guest for your podcast? https://www.joinpodmatch.com/deanalizzie 📘 Our book is available on Amazon:  Love With Eyes Wide Open: Teaching Our Daughters to Recognize Red Flags and God's Voice in Relationships Not sure what you’re actually seeing in your relationship?            ↓  Get your FREE Discernment Checklist ↓                                                                 https://the-matadoras.kit.com/survivingtoxicrelationships Contact us anytime at our email:  care@survivingtoxicrelationships.org  📘 Join our Facebook community: Surviving Toxic Relationships  Disclaimer:  The views expressed by our guests are their own, and this show is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy, medical, or professional advice, and listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in crisis or immediate danger, please call 911 for help.  ...

    24 min

Trailer

5
out of 5
15 Ratings

About

Surviving Toxic Relationships is a Christian podcast for women who are ready to break free from toxic, emotionally abusive, or narcissistic relationships and step into healing, clarity, and truth.  Deana and Lizzie are two women whose lives unexpectedly crossed when they were married to the SAME manipulative, cheating, financially abusive partner.  Their combined passion is to provide women with the tools to avoid, escape, or heal from toxic, harmful, or confusing relationships.   If you’ve been searching for faith based wisdom that goes deeper than surface-level advice, this show is for you. We talk honestly about trauma, emotional wounds, spiritual confusion, and the process of rebuilding your identity through faith.   Our esteemed guests consist of Therapists, Authors, Doctors, and Survivors. Together, we explore topics that include self-discovery and healing, narcissistic abuse, boundaries, discernment, and learning to hear God’s voice clearly in relationships.  Whether you’re trying to avoid early red flags, are in the middle of a toxic relationship, or recovering from one, this emotional and spiritual healing podcast offers real conversations, practical insight, and biblical encouragement to help you move forward into hope, restoration, self worth, and renewal.  Remember beautiful friends: You are not alone, You are not crazy, and You are deeply, deeply loved.   Deana & Lizzie

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