The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm

Traver Boehm
  • 4.9 (178)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

For people who see through the veil of the civilized paradigm.

  1. 22h ago

    EP 427 The Many Scarred Woman Apprenticing With Grief | Siobhan Asgharzadeh

    Most humans aren’t taught to grieve. And that avoidance — of grief, of death, of darkness — might be the thing costing us the most. Siobhan Asgharzadeh is a grief guide, death midwife, and storyteller who has spent her life apprenticing to the forces most of us spend ours running from. In this conversation, we get into what it actually means to trust death, why our cultural distrust of it is keeping us small and stuck, and how grief — when you stop caging it — becomes one of the most generative forces in a human life. Siobhan lost her best friend at 33. A month later, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and lost her eyesight. What came out of that darkness wasn't just survival — it was the beginning of a deep and ongoing apprenticeship with grief, death, story, and the inner world. She calls herself a grief pilgrim, and this conversation will make it clear why. We cover the distrust of death as the root of cultural disease, what it looks like to build a real relationship with grief instead of just managing it, the wolf framework for working with grief at street level, why darkness isn't the enemy — and why our obsession with light is costing us, the medicine of story and how it carried her through losing her sight, eldership as capacity rather than age, and what it means to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. This one goes deep. If grief, death, or darkness have been knocking at your door — this is the conversation to sit with. —— Ready to go deeper? https://www.manuncivilized.com/start Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation —— Connect with Siobhan: https://griefpilgrim.com/ Instagram @grief_pilgrim —— Connect with Traver:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm  Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com  Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com Chapter List 00:00 Welcome & Meet Siobhan 00:58 The Land of Taos & What It Asks of You 04:34 How Grief Found Her 08:35 Beginning the Apprenticeship With Grief 10:13 Learning to Trust Death 15:06 What Culture Gets Wrong About Death 21:09 Using Death as a Compass 27:37 Non-Human Teachers & Chronic Illness as Initiation 32:52 The Responsibility of the Initiated 35:10 Eldership as Capacity, Not Age 42:11 Losing Her Sight to Finally See 43:19 Lessons from Losing Sight 48:48 The Medicine of Story & How to Court a Relationship With Grief 54:23 Wrap up & Where to Find Siobhan

    1h 2m

  2. May 25

    EP 426 Talking About Things We’re Not Supposed To | David Sutcliffe

    I want to be upfront with you — this conversation goes some places that not every podcast will go. David Sutcliffe is a somatic therapist, men's work facilitator, and former Hollywood actor who has made a career out of sitting with the men most people won't. He's interviewed Andrew Tate. He's sat across from Justin Waller. He's been in rooms where men have admitted things most of us can't even say out loud. And he keeps showing up — not because he's reckless, but because he genuinely believes that the truth lives in the places we've decided are off limits. This is his second time on the podcast, and we didn't hold back. We talk about the Heyoka — the sacred provocateur in Lakota tradition — and why men like Tate, Kanye, and Trump might be playing a role in the culture that nobody wants to admit is necessary. We get into transference, and why any man who wants to lead — in his home, his business, his community — needs to understand what it is and how it works. We talk about liberation, what it actually means, and why David says it comes down to one thing: presence. And then the conversation goes where it goes. Shadow. Sexuality. The complexity of human nature. The parts of men that don't fit into a clean narrative about good guys and bad guys. David doesn't flinch, and neither did I. As I mentioned at the top of the episode — this one gets into some territory that warrants a heads up. If you made it this far, you already know what you're signing up for. This is the conversation we're not supposed to be having. That's exactly why we had it. —— Ready to go deeper? Men, join us in The UNcivilized Nation —— Listen to David's first appearance on the podcast Connect with David —— Connect with Traver:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm  Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com  Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com –– Chapter List ​​00:00 Who Is David Sutcliffe 02:08 The Role of Controversial Figures in Culture 10:05 Navigating Personal Pain and Public Perception 12:20 The Cost of Staying in Your Mask 16:29 Why Being Misunderstood Sets You Free 20:33 Defining Transference 22:32 What Liberation Actually Looks Like 29:46 Relationship as Spiritual Practice 33:19 Spiritual Practices and Personal Growth 36:57 The Collective Shadow Coming to the Surface 46:30 Justice, Punishment, and the Complexity of Human Nature 56:15 Wrap Up & Where to Find David

    57 min

  3. May 18

    EP 425 Sex Is Broken. Here's What to Do About It. | Traver Boehm

    I've been sitting on this idea for years. I almost wrote an entire book about it before I wrote Man UNcivilized. Today I'm finally talking about it publicly — and yes, it's about sex. But it's really about a lot more than that. —— The sexual paradigm most of us inherited is broken. I don't say that to be provocative. I say it because we have an Epstein list, telegram rooms where men share tips on how to drug their wives, and at the same time — people are having less sex than ever. Less connection. Less desire. That's not a coincidence. That's what happens when you max out on incoming sexual energy and have nowhere real to put it. I'm not here to fix the culture. I'm here to offer a different option — what I'm calling The UNcivilized Bedroom. In this solo episode, I walk through the three pillars of this framework: The Potential — how what you do in the bedroom can change your confidence, your business, and your life outside of it. The Foundation — why the secret to great sex has nothing to do with technique, and everything to do with whether or not you've done your own work. The Experience — what it actually looks and feels like when sex becomes intentional, consensual, and fully relational. This is a teaser. There's more coming — guest episodes, deeper conversations, and the first live event I'm hosting in Boulder in May, details below. —— Join me in person on May 23 in Boulder for The UNcivilized Bedroom: www.manuncivilized.com/bedroom —— Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation —— Connect with Traver:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm  Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com  Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com 00:00 The Uncivilized Bedroom: An Introduction 00:56 The Broken Sexual Paradigm 04:15 Consent 05:03 The Layout 05:19 The Potential 09:29 The Foundation 12:50 The Experience 16:48 Wrap Up

    19 min

  4. May 11

    EP 424 – Walking the Path of Men | Chris Robbins

    Most men spend decades chasing something they can't name — and by the time they figure out what it was, they've already lost everything trying to get it. That's the story Chris Robbins lived. Corporate career, seven restaurants, millions of dollars raised — and millions lost. A father he loved deeply — and could never quite reach. A life built entirely on the outside that was quietly collapsing within. In this conversation, Chris and I go deep on what it actually takes to wake up — not the motivational version, but the real one. The one that happens in a parking lot at 1am, finally realizing you never actually grieved the man who mattered most to you. We talk about the father wound — what it looks like when you realize your entire career was really just an attempt to get closer to your father — and what opens up when you finally see that. We get into grief, the kind men avoid for years because nobody taught us how to move through it. We talk about what it meant for Chris to step back from being the provider, become present for his kids, and how that shift — as humbling as it was — turned out to be the thing that changed everything. Chris is the founder of Soul Degree, a wilderness-based men's retreat and coaching program he's been running since 2017. He's a meditation guide, yoga teacher, breathwork facilitator, and End of Life Death Doula. He's also pursuing a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology — not because he has it figured out, but because he's still a student of this work. That comes through in every minute of this conversation. If you're a man who's been running hard and starting to wonder what the hell you've been running toward — this one's for you. —— Ready to go deeper? Start here: https://www.manuncivilized.com/start —— Connect with Chris: https://www.souldegree.com/ Connect with Traver:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm  Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com  Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com Chapters: 00:00 From Corporate Life to Soul Work 04:25 Building an Empire, Losing Himself 08:29 The Moment Everything Cracked Open 14:26 Becoming a Father Changed Everything 26:04 Why He Called It Soul Degree 29:26 What Men Don't Know About Grief 32:31 What Is the Soul, Actually? 36:45 His Father, His Grief, and the Weight He Carried 42:23 Family, Therapy, and Doing the Work 45:18 Finding Himself on the Other Side 51:09 For the Man Who Doesn't Know Where to Start 54:41 Wrap-up & Connect with Chris

    58 min

  5. May 4

    EP 423 – The Sanctuary of the Soul | Kayla Nelson

    What happens when your body becomes the battleground — and the only thing keeping you alive is a fraction of 1% that refuses to quit? Kayla Nelson spent years navigating chronic Lyme disease, tick-borne illness, and toxic mold while the Western medical system handed her nothing but dead ends. She lost her health, her finances, and almost everything else. What brought her back wasn't what the Western model had to offer. It was a radical treatment called Bee Venom Therapy — and something deeper she can only describe as soul. We get into the real mechanics of Bee Venom Therapy — what it is, how it works, and what it felt like the first time she stung herself with a live bee. We talk about what it means when your soul leaves the building, and how you know it's time to find your way back. From there, we dig into soul loss — not as a concept, but as something happening collectively right now across communities and culture. We talk about predatory energy — what it is, how it operates, and why most people aren't willing to name it. And we talk about the two responses most of us default to when we encounter it: freeze and fawn. Kayla speaks from a rare lens — she's not coming from a strictly biological framework or a strictly spiritual one. She moves between the two with precision, and this conversation reflects that. There's real medicine in this one. If something in this conversation moved you, share it with someone who needs it.  And men — if you've been looking for structure, depth, and a community that does this work for real, come join us in The UNcivilized Nation –– https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation –– Connect with Kayla: https://www.sagenourishment.com Connect with Traver:  Website — https://www.manuncivilized.com  Substack — https://traverboehm.substack.com  Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm  Get my books –– https://www.manuncivilized.com/books  Mentioned in This Episode:  Bayo Akomolafe on The UNcivilized Podcast — https://open.spotify.com/episode/0zZLZ9LYyfup07GaOykpRq  Francis Weller on The UNcivilized Podcast — https://open.spotify.com/episode/4U0NDtdOv5bN1WcZUoUhSX Go Deeper:  Two Predators — https://www.manuncivilized.com/blog/two-predators Chapters: 00:00 Introduction & The Desk That Connects Them 00:29 Falling Mysteriously Ill: The Beginning of Kayla's Journey 03:07 What Kept Her Going When Everything Was Falling Apart 08:50 What Is Bee Venom Therapy? (And How It Actually Works) 15:26 5,000 Stings Over 4 Years — The Numbers 17:30 The First Sting and the Unexpected Calm 21:09 Defining the Soul — A Felt Sense, Not a Concept 25:26 "Your Soul Has Left the Building" — Traver's Story 27:17 Soul Loss and the Collective Reckoning 30:34 Building a 200-Year Life 31:10 How to Actually Start: Sitting With Nature 39:24 Collective Awakening vs. Collective Tension 41:47 The Predator — From Biology to Mythology 50:14 Freeze and Fawn: The Two Responses We're Waking Up Out Of 54:53 The Duality of Predatory Energy in Men 58:11 Soul as the Antidote to the Predator 1:01:45 Wrap-up & Where to find Kayla

    1h 3m

  6. Apr 27

    EP 422 – I Hired a Male Escort | Coral Osborne

    I found Coral Osborne through a Substack piece she wrote titled "I Hired a Male Escort" — and I'll be honest, the title got me. But it was what she unpacked inside it that made me want to get her on the show. Coral spent years as a closeted sex worker, and what she found in those rooms wasn't what most people assume. Men showed up without their masks on. There were clear boundaries. And the connection — strange as it sounds — was often more honest than anything she found in conventional dating. Then she hired a male escort. Not to collect an experience, but to find out what would happen if she stopped performing and just received. What came up surprised her — and became the essay that brought her to this show. Coral is a sexologist and intimacy coach who works with men at the intersection of identity, desire, and shadow. This conversation goes deep into the psychology of fantasy, the difference between what turns you on and what you actually want, and why so many men have gone completely numb — not just sexually, but in every area of their lives. We also get into why less than 14% of therapists in North America have any sexuality training, what your darkest fantasy actually says about you, and why the men who say "I don't really have fantasies" are the ones who can't hold a relationship past the two-year mark. If you've ever wondered what your sex life is actually telling you about yourself — this one's for you. Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation –– Read Coral's essays:  Part 1: https://substack.com/@coralosborne/p-190840262  Part 2: https://substack.com/@coralosborne/p-190843310 Connect with Coral:  Website: https://coralosborne.com  Substack: https://substack.com/@coralosborne  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunrealcoralosborne/ –– Connect with Traver:  Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm/ Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com Chapters: 00:00 Introduction — Who Is Coral Osborne? 02:58 From Sex Worker to Sexologist: How She Got Here 06:01 Why She Hired a Male Escort (And What She Learned) 11:44 What Men Actually Show Up As Behind Closed Doors 17:56 Sex Is Shadow Work 23:59 Fantasy vs. Desire — The Distinction That Changes Everything 31:51 Your Fantasies Are a Map to Your Soul 40:06 Why Therapists Are Getting This Wrong 43:35 The Numbing Out Epidemic: When Men Lose Access to Eros 55:44 Wrap up & Where to find Coral

    59 min

  7. Apr 20

    EP 421 – The Philosopher and The Warrior | Josh Tyler

    Most men were told to pick a side. And most men have spent their whole lives half of what they could be because of it. Josh Tyler is a former professional MMA fighter, survival instructor, and the founder of Savage Gentleman. He believes the men who figure out how to hold both don't just become more capable — they become more of what they actually are. In this episode, we get into what men have lost by compartmentalizing their lives. We talk about why the way you roll on the mat is the same way you carve wood, raise your kids, and move through the world — and how a lot of men never connect those dots. We also get into confidence — how it's actually built, why shortcuts don't actually build anything, and what it actually looks like to earn it. We cover the three male archetypes showing up right now, including the one that's quietly becoming the most common. And we close talking about power — what it actually is, why so many men feel like they don't have any, and why that's an illusion that experience can shatter. If you've been doing the things but not becoming anything — this one's for you. –– Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation  Connect with Me:  Instagram: @traverboehm  Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books –– Connect with Josh:  savagegentleman.com  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joshtylermma/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/savagegentlemanofficial/ Chapter List 00:00 Introduction to Josh Tyler and Savage Gentlemen 04:20 The Balance of Savage and Gentleman 15:38 Depth and Nuance in Personal Development 23:44 Life Lessons from Martial Arts and Survival Skills 26:48 Cultural Shifts: From Meaningful Actions to Checkboxes 27:48 The Journey Over the Destination: Embracing the Process 32:46 The Riff on Confidence 39:13 Male Archetypes: 19050s Marlboro Man, The Sensitive New Age Guy & The Collapsed Male 40:44 Finding Your Path: Beyond Jiu-Jitsu and Bushcraft 46:29 The Importance of Getting Dirty: Embracing Challenges 48:00 Peak Experiences and Rites of Passage 50:02 Navigating Corporate Worlds and Personal Validation 53:24 Power & The Tension of Opposites 59:12 Navigating Tension and Finding Balance 01:03:38 The Illusion of Powerlessness and Perspective

    1h 11m

  8. Apr 13

    EP 420 - Why Most Men Are Still Stuck in Adolescence (And What Actually Changes That) | Jeddy Azuma

    Most men were never actually initiated into manhood. Nobody stood on the other side and said — you're different now, here's what that means, here's what we expect from you. Most of us just got older. And thus, many men are still running the same adolescent software in a grown man's body. Rites of passage leader Jeddy Azuma is back on the podcast, and this conversation goes deep fast. Jeddy works with men on rites of passage and mature masculine leadership — he's guided over 100 men through wilderness fasts, and he's seen what happens when a man actually crosses a threshold versus when he just... keeps going through the motions. If you missed his first appearance, check it out — link in the show notes. In this episode, we get into what mature masculinity actually looks like. We talk about the difference between initiation and rites of passage, what it means to hold the dynamic tension of a full life without losing your center, and why the harshest voice in your head isn't motivation — it's immaturity wearing the mask of high performance. We also talk about the inner critic — how it forms, how it served you, and how to replace it without losing the standard it held you to. That part of the conversation hit me. Because most men don't question that voice. It's been there so long it just sounds like truth. Jeddy also shares what four days alone in the wilderness — no food, no shelter, no distraction — actually does to a man. What comes up. What gets left behind. And what the real work is when he comes home. We close talking about where community is headed — why Jeddy believes this large-scale civilization experiment is already in collapse, and why the future belongs to smaller, trust-based communities built around shared values. If you've ever felt like something essential got skipped in how you became a man — this one's for you. Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation Connect with Me: Instagram: @traverboehm —— Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books —— Connect with Jeddy: Instagram: @jeddyazuma  Missed Jeddy's first appearance on the podcast? Check it out here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4qJjqeUgWjKUnGX1nxir9d?si=yMrreCykRay5dUsiuXdRCA Chapter List  00:00 The Journey of Masculine Leadership 01:03 Defining Immature Masculinity 04:38 Holding Dynamic Tension 10:48 The Inner Dialogue of Men 11:58 The Importance of Initiation 16:08 Rites of Passage vs. Initiation 18:31 Rites of Passage & Initiation 25:53 The Adolescent Male Experience 27:55 What's the Point? 30:24 The Wilderness Rite of Passage Process 33:31 Transformation Through Initiation 35:59 Connecting to the Soul 42:57 Community and the Need for Trust 48:20 The Future of Community Living

    52 min
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For people who see through the veil of the civilized paradigm.

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