Unfeigned Christianity

Asher Witmer
  • 4.5 (33)
  • Religion & Spirituality
  • Updated Biweekly

Becoming Christians who are theologically anchored, emotionally healthy, and loving others well.

  1. 30 Years of Hiding: A Story of Sexual Sin and Slow Healing w/ Bob Kulp

    2d ago

    30 Years of Hiding: A Story of Sexual Sin and Slow Healing w/ Bob Kulp

    Bob Kulp hid pornography, and eventually paid sex, through most of three decades of marriage. He thought marriage would fix his lust. He thought confessing would heal it. Both were wrong. In this honest conversation, Bob walks us through the long road toward wholeness: white-knuckling that never held, the night his wife Laura put divorce on the table, the counselor who made him feel her pain, and the shift from being "free from" sin to being "free for" the people he loves. Forgiveness came quickly. Trust took years. Bob and Laura now serve couples together through Delight Your Marriage. The next Live Free Mentorship cohort is now open, but closes tonight! Details and the link here. You can learn more about Bob's work at Delight Your Marriage here.

    53 min
  2. Parts Work, Porn, and the Wound Underneath w/ Rick Manabat

    Jun 17

    Parts Work, Porn, and the Wound Underneath w/ Rick Manabat

    I'd written a whole book about overcoming pornography before I ever sat across from a counselor and got asked the one question that changed everything: what is that part of you actually trying to do for you? My guest is Rick Manabat, a licensed therapist and the founder of Pneuma Counseling, who has walked with me personally for nearly two years now. In this conversation we get into Internal Family Systems, often called parts work. Rick explains the wounded parts we exile, the managers and firefighters that scramble to protect them, and the self that God uses to bring healing. We talk about why sexual addiction is usually a story being acted out, why curiosity does what condemnation can't, and how all of this holds together with a faith that takes sin seriously. If you've been white-knuckling your way through the same struggle for years, this one's for you. The next Live Free Mentorship cohort is now open. Details and the link here. Rick's practice: Pneuma Counseling

    1h 1m
  3. Becoming the Kind of Man Porn Can't Hold

    Jun 5

    Becoming the Kind of Man Porn Can't Hold

    A small comment from my wife about picking peaches set off a soundtrack I'd carried for years. In this episode I show you exactly how I worked through it, why our old wounds resurface in new seasons, and what it looks like to take our whole selves to Jesus instead of managing the shame or numbing it. We talk about why real freedom isn't about never being tempted again, but about knowing where to go when the temptation shows up. This is the third part of the Free for Real series, and the next mentorship cohort is now open. Details and the link here. To catch up, watch— Episode 1: https://youtu.be/SV1ahPyal6g?si=oJ87bDQ3JqCK-uqa Episode 2: https://youtu.be/agmj6Z7NXlM?si=iis3btijNol30LKu Chapters 00:00 Navigating Emotional Soundtracks 05:53 Understanding Freedom from Temptation 09:06 The Impact of Wounding Experiences 15:50 Processing Triggers in Real Time 22:40 Reframing Self-Worth and Value 27:37 The Importance of Emotional Health

    33 min
  4. The Emotional Root of Porn Addiction (And How to Start Healing It)

    Jun 1

    The Emotional Root of Porn Addiction (And How to Start Healing It)

    Confession is where healing starts — but it's not where it ends. In this episode, I dig into why so many men experience a cycle of confession, temporary freedom, and failure, and what's actually going on underneath the surface. Drawing on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework, I walk through the emotional architecture behind unwanted sexual behavior — the exile (childhood wound and shame), the manager (how we cope), and the firefighter (the addictive behavior itself) — and explain why no amount of accountability or prayer can substitute for genuine emotional healing and story work. This is part 2 of the Free for Real series. If you've ever wondered why you keep stumbling despite doing all the right things, this episode is for you. Unfeigned Christianity exists to help people become theologically anchored in Jesus, emotionally healthy, and able to love and disciple others well.  Purchase a copy of Live Free here.  Join the Formation Circle here.  Get your first month FREE with Accountable2You here. Chapters 00:00 The Illusion of Freedom from Pornography 02:34 The Cycle of Confession and Temptation 05:09 Pursuing Emotional Health and Wholeness 07:20 Understanding Triggers and Emotional Environments 10:33 The Impact of Past Experiences on Present Behavior 12:59 The Role of Shame and Identity in Healing 18:15 The Journey of Healing and Freedom 20:55 The Importance of Story Work in Emotional Healing 23:11 Navigating Emotional Triggers and Responses 25:44 The Framework of Internal Family Systems 28:06 Managing Shame and the Search for Purpose 30:53 The Cycle of Addiction and Emotional Management 33:30 Curiosity Over Condemnation in Healing 35:47 The Path to Understanding and Healing

    39 min
  5. Porn Is Like an Old Friend: What's Really Driving Sexual Temptation (And How to Find Real Freedom)

    May 14

    Porn Is Like an Old Friend: What's Really Driving Sexual Temptation (And How to Find Real Freedom)

    Have you ever found lasting freedom from pornography — only to find it creeping back years later? You're not alone, and it doesn't mean you've failed. In this first episode of the Free for Real series, I open up about his own experience returning to temptation after more than a decade of genuine freedom — and what my therapist said that changed my perspective: porn is like an old friend. This episode digs beneath behavioral strategies and accountability software to ask a harder question: what emotional need is this filling? If pornography keeps coming back no matter how hard you fight, something deeper is going on — and that something is worth getting curious about. You'll learn: Why confession alone doesn't equal freedom The HALT framework for understanding your triggers Why sexual temptation is often really a longing for connection What it means to pursue wholeness, not just behavior change This is the beginning of a journey toward freedom that is lasting, honest, and rooted in emotional and spiritual health. If you've been carrying this alone, this episode is for you. Part 1 of the Free for Real series. Next episode: What does emotional health actually look like?  Join the Formation Circle here.  Get your first month FREE with Accountable2You here. Chapters 00:00 Understanding the Old Friend: Pornography 02:39 The Journey of Recovery and Accountability 08:36 The Deeper Issues Behind Pornography Use 16:27 The Cycle of Temptation and Emotional Health 25:21 Pursuing Connection and Wholeness 33:23 Building Guardrails and Community Support

    36 min
  6. The Card Game That Gets You Talking About Emotions | Pathos Review

    May 6

    The Card Game That Gets You Talking About Emotions | Pathos Review

    (Paid review — full disclosure.) Have you ever wanted to connect more deeply with the people around you but didn't know how to get the conversation there? I review Pathos, the emotional card game, in this episode — walking through how it works, what makes it different from other conversation games, how my family actually played it (which was not exactly by the book), and one specific moment where a card gave me a window into my wife I wouldn't have found otherwise. I also share some honest questions I still have about the game — because a good review means naming the uncertainties too. Buy Pathos directly from their website ($24). Learn about the Unfeigned Christianity Patreon Formation Circle. Chapters 00:00 The Desire for Connection 00:54 Introducing Pathos: The Emotional Card Game 02:51 Gameplay and Family Experience 09:51 Deepening Conversations Through Gameplay 15:19 Exploring Emotions and Insights 19:17 The Interconnection of Emotional and Spiritual Health

    21 min
  7. What Leaders Owe the People They Lead | Cliff Stoltzfoos

    Apr 22

    What Leaders Owe the People They Lead | Cliff Stoltzfoos

    I had the honor of interviewing my boss, Cliff Stoltzfoos, on what it looks like to do business while living like Jesus and what leaders actually owe the people they're responsible for. We get into: Why having authority over someone calls you to greater transparency, not less What it means to take seriously that your team members are giving you enormous amounts of themselves — their brain, their time, their energy — and what you owe them in return The company mission that changed everything: multiplying wholeness in the lives of our team, clients, and community, by living like Jesus Team Pulse, a tool Lifex built to help leaders stay genuinely connected to their people — built around Patrick Lencioni's line: people should find healing at work, not need healing from work And the leadership character trait Cliff is still developing: asking for direct feedback, and holding it without getting defensive If you lead people in any capacity — a business, a church, a nonprofit, a school — this conversation is for you. Learn more about Team Pulse at teampulse.us. If you would like to grab the two months free, use the promo code Z867DH0O at checkout. Learn more about the Unfeigned Christianity Membership program at asherwitmer.com/member. Chapters: 00:00 Welcome 07:05 Cliff's Background and Early Influences 17:21 Transitioning into Business and Marketing 28:19 Living Like Jesus in Business 38:06 Stewardship and Leadership Lessons 43:59 Team Dynamics and Growth 48:57 Leadership Responsibilities and Team Care 56:32 Introducing Team Pulse 01:07:40 Creating Healing Workspaces 01:16:05 Final Thoughts on Leadership and Feedback

    1h 20m
  8. The First Black Suburb in America — and the Day Its Magic Ended | Keith Smith

    Mar 25

    The First Black Suburb in America — and the Day Its Magic Ended | Keith Smith

    Keith Smith grew up on Montford Street in Pacoima — in the San Fernando Valley — during one of the most culturally distinct decades in American history. His grandfather was a Tuskegee Airman who helped build what became the first African-American suburb in the United States. His grandmother was a Southern hospitality-giver who always cooked enough for company. His neighborhood was multigenerational, tight-knit, and quietly remarkable. His mom taught Michael Jackson the robot. And then, when Keith was 12 years old, a murder on his street divided his childhood into before and after. The Magic of Montford Street: A Love Letter to the Valley in the '80s is Keith's memoir — his origin story, told before he writes the theological books that are coming next. It's a book about a community that formed him, a magic that was stolen, and what it means to grieve something good. In this conversation, Asher and Keith talk about: What made Pacoima one of the most unique Black communities in America — and how it got that way The '80s as a bridge generation: still outside until the streetlights came on, but also Atari 2600 How the Cosby Show gave Keith the first screen representation of the life he actually lived The crack epidemic and the War on Drugs — what it looked like from a kid's perspective on the street The LAPD battering ram, two blocks from his house, deployed against the wrong family How Rodney King was beaten just down the road in Pacoima — and why it wasn't surprising to the people who lived there What his grandmother's storytelling and hospitality built in him that he still carries as a pastor Why he believes you have to start with your origin story before you can say anything else This is a rich, warm, personal conversation about memory, community, loss — and the people who form us. Read the full blog post and show notes here and learn more about the Unfeigned Christianity Membership program at asherwitmer.com/member. Find Keith's book, writings, and soundtracks at www.keithnsmith.com. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Keith Smith and His Journey 05:05 From California to Ohio 08:16 The Impact of Community and Neighborhood 11:14 Processing Trauma and Change 13:59 Nostalgia for the 80s: A Unique Era 16:41 The Day the Magic Ended 19:52 Celebrity Culture in the Valley 22:39 The Influence of Family and Community 25:40 Reflections on Race and Neighborhood Dynamics 35:27 The Legacy of Redlining and Community Building 38:09 Pacoima: The First African-American Suburb 41:02 The Impact of the Drug Epidemic 48:40 Community Responses to Change 55:35 The Evolution of Pacoima Today

    1h 12m
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4.5
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About

Becoming Christians who are theologically anchored, emotionally healthy, and loving others well.

Information

  • Creator
    Asher Witmer
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2022 Asher Witmer
  • Show Website
    Unfeigned Christianity

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