Untethering Shame

Kyira Wackett
  • 5.0 (21)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 

  1. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E27: When You Can’t Be There (Shame & Caregiving from Afar)

    2D AGO

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E27: When You Can’t Be There (Shame & Caregiving from Afar)

    In this week’s AMA, Kyira responds to a listener navigating the guilt and shame of loving a parent from afar after a serious health diagnosis. Despite knowing his dad doesn’t expect him to drop everything, he feels like a “bad son” for not being there in person. Kyira explores the tension between love, distance, and limits — and how shame often confuses grief with failure. This episode offers gentle reframes and grounding tools for redefining what it means to show up when you can’t be physically present. 💡 Key Takeaways Presence isn’t defined by proximity — love can exist across distance.Guilt often hides grief; naming it helps release self-blame.Shame tries to turn limits into proof of failure.Self-compassion and boundaries make sustainable care possible.Connection is measured in intention, not in miles. 🗣️ Submit Your Question Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.

    6 min
  2. Shame & The Healing Backslide: Why It’s Normal to Revisit Old Patterns with Sabrina Trobak

    3D AGO

    Shame & The Healing Backslide: Why It’s Normal to Revisit Old Patterns with Sabrina Trobak

    Kyira reconnects with Sabrina Trobak, registered counselor, clinical supervisor, and author of Not Good Enough, to explore what happens when healing isn’t linear. Together, they unpack the moments that feel like setbacks—when shame whispers, “I should know better”—and reframe them as invitations to deepen awareness and meet ourselves with compassion. They discuss core beliefs like “not good enough” and the ways we distract through busyness, anger, or perfectionism. Sabrina offers tools—emotions lists, curiosity over judgment, and boundaries—to help listeners move from self-criticism toward understanding and remember that healing unfolds layer by layer, not all at once. Key Takeaways Healing isn’t linear—it’s layered. Progress includes revisiting old wounds. Each return offers new insight rather than evidence of failure.Core beliefs drive reactivity. Many of our frustrations, anxieties, and people-pleasing tendencies stem from internalized beliefs like I’m not good enough. Awareness is the first step to softening their grip.Judgment fuels shame; curiosity dissolves it. The shift from “Why did I do that?” to “What made me do that?” opens the door to compassion and lasting change.Boundaries come later in healing. Setting and maintaining boundaries requires self-trust and belief in your own worth—it’s not a starting point but an evolution of inner work.Emotional avoidance keeps us stuck. Busyness, anger, and even perfectionism often mask discomfort and vulnerability. Slowing down to feel is the real work.Relapse or regression is not failure. When familiar coping mechanisms resurface, it’s a cue—not a condemnation. These moments signal areas that need attention, not judgment.Awareness tools can ground healing. Using an emotions list, journaling, or listing triggers and connected core beliefs can help map what’s happening beneath the surface.Loneliness begins within. Feeling lonely isn’t about who’s around us—it’s about our relationship with ourselves. The more content we become internally, the less we seek external validation.The goal isn’t perfection—it’s peace. The more we accept that healing is lifelong, the less pressure we feel to “arrive.” Contentment exists in the middle, not at the end.Curiosity is the antidote to shame. Meeting your behaviors and emotions with openness rather than judgment transforms self-criticism into empowerment. More about Sabrina: I am a registered counsellor and is the author of Not Good Enough: Understanding your Core Belief and Anxiety. I am also a clinical supervisor and public speaker with a masters in counseling psychology. Prior to becoming a counsellor, I was a teacher, vice principal and school counselor for over 20 years. I have extensive training in resolving past trauma and the impact trauma has on a person including anxiety and core belief. Connect with Sabrina: WebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedInNot Good Enough: Understanding your Core Belief and Anxiety Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

    52 min
  3. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E26: When Planning Steals the Present

    NOV 3

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E26: When Planning Steals the Present

    In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a listener who’s realized their planning often comes at the cost of being present. Many of us over-plan not because we love control, but because control feels safe — it helps us avoid the shame of things going wrong. Kyira breaks down how to shift from planning as protection to planning as preparation, using simple mindset and body-based tools to help you stop over-orchestrating and start living the moments you work so hard to create. 💡 Key Takeaways Planning is often a nervous system strategy for safety, not just a skill.Set a “done” point to help transition from preparing to participating.Presence is a muscle built through small rituals and conscious permission.Discomfort is part of connection — not a sign you failed to plan enough.Joy and meaning live in participation, not perfection. 🗣️ Submit Your Question Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.

    8 min
  4. Shame & Money: Rewriting the “I’m Bad with Money” Story with Michelle Waymire

    NOV 2

    Shame & Money: Rewriting the “I’m Bad with Money” Story with Michelle Waymire

    In this heartfelt and eye-opening conversation, Kyira sits down with Michelle Waymire, a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and founder of Young + Scrappy, to explore the deep intersection of shame and money. Together, they unpack the beliefs and stories we carry about money—stories often formed in childhood—that shape our self-worth, safety, and sense of control. Michelle shares her own early experiences with privilege and how they informed her journey toward more compassionate, values-based financial work. From the myth of being “bad with money” to the toxic narratives of hustle culture and financial perfectionism, Kyira and Michelle reframe what it means to be in relationship with money. They invite listeners to approach finances not as a measure of worth but as an evolving, deeply personal practice of self-trust, curiosity, and care. The episode dives into practical and emotional layers alike: how to detach shame from financial mistakes, how to talk about money with children without passing on our anxieties, and how to begin shifting from scarcity and control to neutrality and self-compassion. Whether you’re working to pay down debt, trying to feel safer in your financial decisions, or just tired of feeling like you’re doing it “wrong,” this conversation will help you see money in a radically new light. ✨ Key Takeaways: Money stories start early. Our beliefs about worth, safety, and belonging often take root in childhood, long before we ever earn a paycheck.Shame thrives in silence. Talking openly about money—and the emotions tied to it—is the first step toward dismantling self-judgment.Neutrality creates freedom. Numbers themselves aren’t good or bad; it’s the stories and emotions we attach to them that fuel shame.Our relationship with money is iterative. Like any other form of growth, it evolves with time, experience, and compassion for our past selves.Values matter more than perfection. Spending and saving aligned with what truly matters to you leads to financial peace, not rigid control.Parenting and money mirror each other. How we model curiosity, autonomy, and boundaries around money teaches our children self-trust—not fear.There’s no such thing as being “bad with money.” Every financial journey holds both mistakes and wins; noticing the wins helps rewrite your story.Shame disconnects; curiosity reconnects. Moving from “I’m bad with money” to “I’m learning about money” opens the door to growth.Financial wellness is emotional wellness. Healing money shame means healing the parts of us that believe we’re not enough.Progress over perfection. The goal isn’t to fix your finances overnight—it’s to build a kinder, more resilient relationship with them over time. More about Michelle: Michelle is a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and coach and the founder of two financial services companies: Young & Scrappy and Glimmer Financial. They are passionate about supporting marginalized groups in building a better relationship with their money, so that they can live joyful and abundant lives. Connect with Michelle: Young & ScrappyGlimmer Financial Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

    53 min
  5. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E25: When It’s Not About You (But It Still Hurts)

    OCT 27

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E25: When It’s Not About You (But It Still Hurts)

    In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a question from a listener who works in a job where they’re constantly being yelled at — not because they’ve done something wrong, but because they’re the one standing in front of people when things go wrong. Even when you know it isn’t personal, it can still feel personal. So how do you hold onto your empathy without letting shame or resentment take over? Kyira explores the tension between logic and emotion — why your nervous system reacts as if you’re under attack, even when your brain knows better — and how to protect your dignity without losing your compassion. This episode is about reclaiming your sense of peace in the face of others’ chaos, learning to name what’s yours (and what’s not), and remembering that caring doesn’t mean carrying. 💡 Key Takeaways Your nervous system reacts faster than logic — even when you know it’s not about you, your body still feels the threat.Boundaries protect your dignity and keep you grounded in your values.Empathy doesn’t mean absorbing other people’s emotions or taking on their work.Anger isn’t a flaw — it’s a signal that your boundaries have been crossed.Create small rituals to reset and release what isn’t yours. 🔗 Resources & Mentions Join the Boundaried & Brave challenge to deepen your work around emotional boundaries and self-trust. Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast

    10 min
  6. Shame & Being Dangerous: The Revolutionary Act of Loving Yourself with The Tracy Piper

    OCT 26

    Shame & Being Dangerous: The Revolutionary Act of Loving Yourself with The Tracy Piper

    A year after her first appearance, artist The Tracy Piper returns to Untethering Shame to talk about her evolution from loud advocate to deeply self-aware creator — and how being dangerous became her new form of love and resistance. In this powerful conversation, Tracy and Kyira explore how vulnerability, rest, and authenticity threaten systems that profit from our numbness. They unpack the “dangerous” act of taking up space, setting boundaries, saying no, and believing we are worthy — even when it challenges old stories, relationships, and cultural conditioning. Together, they invite listeners to rethink what it means to be dangerous — not as harm, but as healing — and to see how doing the work of self-love and radical acceptance can be a revolution in itself. Key Takeaways Dangerous doesn’t mean harmful — it means disruptive. True danger lies in being brave enough to rest, speak up, and love yourself in a world that thrives on burnout and compliance. Rest is rebellion. Taking a nap, saying no, or slowing down can trigger shame and fear because our brains have learned these acts are “unsafe.” Learning to rest is a form of reprogramming. We’re not that important — and that’s freeing. Letting go of the illusion that the world will fall apart if we stop allows us to reclaim balance, presence, and boundaries. Radical acceptance means choosing what’s yours to carry. You can’t control how others respond, but you can stop reinforcing your own suffering by trying to manage everything. Authenticity is dangerous to systems that depend on your silence. Whether it’s family dynamics, hustle culture, or gender expectations, showing up truthfully challenges the status quo. Vulnerability builds community. The most dangerous — and healing — act is to let yourself be seen, loved, and connected, even when it feels safer to go it alone. Art as activism. Tracy’s Dangerous tour invites audiences to explore self-love through creativity, offering visual permission to rest, reflect, and reconnect. More About Tracy: The Tracy Piper is a contemporary painter, muralist, and activist whose vibrant figurative work celebrates self-love, empowerment, and the radical act of authenticity. A former circus performer turned full-time artist, Tracy’s work merges bold color with emotional honesty to challenge the narratives that keep us small and silent. Her newest exhibition, Dangerous: A Pop-Up Art Experience, explores the revolutionary power of self-acceptance and the idea that loving yourself in a world that profits from your doubt is the most dangerous act of all. Based in the Bay Area, Tracy’s art has been featured in galleries across the U.S., and she continues to use her platform to foster connection, conversation, and creative rebellion. Connect with Tracy Website & Art: thetracypiper.comInstagram: @thetracypiperDangerous Pop-Up Tour Dates: Portland (Nov 6–9), Miami (Art Basel Weekend), San Francisco (Summer 2026)Merch Line: Soft Rebellion sweaters and tees available at thetracypiper.com Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

    49 min
  7. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E24: Why Can’t I Keep It All Together Without Crashing?

    OCT 20

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E24: Why Can’t I Keep It All Together Without Crashing?

    In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “Kyira, I feel like I’m always running at 100%, sometimes even 110%, just to keep everything together. I tell myself I’m fine, but then one small thing tips me over and I completely crash. Why does this keep happening, and how do I break the cycle without feeling like I’m failing?” If you’ve ever lived on the edge of burnout, calling it “normal,” you know how exhausting and defeating that cycle can feel. We’re taught that giving our all means giving everything, all the time—but what if the truth is that sustainability actually lives at 80%, not 100? Inside this episode, we’ll talk about: Why our idea of “100% capacity” is rooted in hustle culture and survivalThe crash-and-burn cycle and why it’s not a personal failureWhat it means to treat 80% as the new 100%Practical shifts that help you design a sustainable system for your lifeHow to separate your worth from your outputIf you’ve ever felt like “fine until I’m not fine” is your baseline, this episode is for you. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode? Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing). ⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you. 👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the shame cycle — together. Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected: Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Rest isn’t laziness—it’s what makes your life sustainable. #AskMeAnything #BurnoutRecovery #ShameResilience #SustainableLiving #AdversityRising

    8 min
  8. Shame & the Shoulds: Unlearning Who You Were Told to Be with Mikkel Leslie

    OCT 19

    Shame & the Shoulds: Unlearning Who You Were Told to Be with Mikkel Leslie

    In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Mikkel Leslie — coach, author, and advocate for living a life that truly feels like yours — to explore the intersection of shame, anxiety, and the “ideal self.” “We’ve spent our whole lives being told who we should be. At some point, we stop asking what actually feels right for us.” Mikkel shares her story of leaving behind a successful but misaligned career in engineering and tech to rediscover her authentic self — a journey that included burnout, anxiety, and a reckoning with the stories she was taught about worth, stability, and success. Together, we unpack how early conditioning shapes our choices, how anxiety keeps us performing and conforming, and what it really means to reconnect with the emotional and physical cues that tell us who we are. Inside this episode, we talk about: The “conveyor belt” of expectation and how it leads us away from who we really areWhat happens when your achievements don’t feel fulfilling — and why money or success can’t fix internal disconnectionThe shame spiral that keeps us stuck in roles that look “right” but feel wrongHow anxiety disconnects us from our emotions and body — and how to rebuild that relationshipThe role of self-compassion as a tool for clarity, not just comfortLearning to breathe, pause, and create space to ask, “What do I actually want?”The tension between paying the bills and pursuing your truth — and how to find both balance and bravery in transitionLetting go of the fear of judgment when redefining success on your own termsIf you’ve ever felt like you were living someone else’s version of your life, this episode is for you. You can’t think your way to your ideal self. You have to feel your way there.Pause before you pivot. The answers come in the stillness, not the scramble.Self-compassion isn’t indulgence — it’s clarity.Anxiety disconnects us from our intuition. Healing starts when we reconnect body, mind, and emotion.You’re not behind — you’re just ready to live differently.More about Mikkel: Mikkel Leslie is a champion, author, and coach for those ready to live their own lives. She has coached hundreds of individuals awakening them to their potential. Before coaching, Mikkel went through her own journey of self-exploration, moving from what she was supposed to do, to what she is passionate about. Her journey started with engineering, tech, and sales and has led her to inspiring others to stand up for their own lives. You will find her at the beach in Southern California with her husband and pet plants. Connect with Mikkel: InstagramReady to take the next step? Join the ⁠Boundaries & Brave Email Challenge⁠⁠Submit a Question⁠ for the PodcastDownload the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite🧭 Key Takeaways

    55 min
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About

New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 

Information

  • Creator
    Kyira Wackett
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2025
  • Episodes
    194
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Kyira Wackett
  • Show Website
    Untethering Shame

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