Untethering Shame

Kyira Wackett

New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 

  1. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E21: Am I Ungrateful If I Don’t Want to Pay for My Parents?

    2 NGÀY TRƯỚC

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E21: Am I Ungrateful If I Don’t Want to Pay for My Parents?

    In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “Every time I go out with my parents, they expect me to pay — like it’s just assumed now because I ‘make more money.’ I’m drowning in bills myself. How do I set boundaries without looking ungrateful?” Money is one of the biggest sources of tension in adult parent–child relationships. When parents expect their adult kids to pick up the tab — or worse, cover their expenses — it can feel like love is being measured in dollars. But the truth is: you don’t owe your parents financial support, and your worth as a child isn’t defined by whether you pay. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about: Why financial expectations from parents can feel so heavyHow guilt and “you owe me” narratives get tied to moneyWhy love and money should never be confusedPractical ways to set financial boundaries without collapsing into guiltIf you’ve ever wondered whether saying “no” makes you ungrateful, this episode is for you. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode? Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing). ⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you. 👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together. Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected: Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Boundaries around money aren’t selfish — they’re necessary for healthy relationships. #AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #MoneyAndShame #ShameResilience #AdversityRising

    6 phút
  2. Shame & Self-Trust: Choosing Yourself Even When It’s Hard with Renee Nelson

    3 NGÀY TRƯỚC

    Shame & Self-Trust: Choosing Yourself Even When It’s Hard with Renee Nelson

    Join the ⁠Boundaried & Brave Email Series⁠ Summary In this powerful conversation, Kyira sits down with longtime friend and colleague Renee Nelson to explore what it truly means to choose yourself, even when it’s hard. From walking away from a stable career and calling off an engagement to redefining what fulfillment looks like at different life stages, Renee shares the courage and self-trust it takes to let go of “fine” in order to thrive. Together, Kyira and Renee reflect on ambivalence, comparison, people-pleasing, and the shame that keeps so many of us from saying no. Through stories of career pivots, relationship decisions, and the evolving balance between ambition and family life, they highlight the importance of support systems, the fear of irrelevance, and the deep work of trusting that—even in uncertainty—we will be okay. This episode is both deeply personal and widely relatable, offering listeners permission to reevaluate what they’re holding onto, where they may be settling, and how to begin choosing themselves without apology. Key Takeaways: Choosing yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential for showing up fully in relationships, careers, and life.Ambivalence is more dangerous than conflict. Settling for “fine” keeps us stuck in lives that don’t light us up.Support systems matter. Having people who encourage your growth makes it easier to face fear and uncertainty.Saying no is powerful. It’s not your responsibility to manage other people’s disappointment when you choose differently.Fulfillment changes with life seasons. What lit you up 10 years ago may not align with who you are today.Comparison steals context. Social media and societal expectations make it easy to feel behind, but your journey is uniquely yours.Hard choices often bring the most growth. Walking away from jobs, relationships, or identities that no longer fit creates space for thriving.It’s not life or death. Most decisions feel bigger than they are—reminding yourself that you will be okay can help cut through shame and fear.Authenticity builds resilience. By choosing ourselves, we create the conditions for deeper connection and more sustainable success. More about Renee: Renee Nelson is a travel enthusiast, adventure seeker, studio hopper (gyms) and new to the start up world, after being at a fortune 500 company for her first 7.5 years out of college. She prides herself on trying to find the positives in everything and absolutely adores people. Connect with Renee: LinkedInInstagram Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

    53 phút
  3. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E20: Am I Really Selfish for Not Visiting My Dad More?

    22 THG 9

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E20: Am I Really Selfish for Not Visiting My Dad More?

    In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “My dad keeps saying I ‘never come see him’ but he’s never once offered to drive to me. I’ve got two kids, a job, and no extra money for travel. Am I really the selfish one here?” If you’ve ever been guilted into visiting a parent — even when your life is stretched thin — you’re not alone. We unpack the expectation that adult children should always be the ones to make visits happen, and why that’s not fair or sustainable. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about: Why “you never visit me” guilt trips hurt more than they helpThe imbalance adult children face when parents expect one-sided effortHow guilt erodes connection instead of creating itPractical ways to respond that honor both your reality and your relationshipIf you’ve ever felt selfish or ungrateful for saying “no” to a visit, this episode is for you. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode? Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing). ⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you. 👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together. Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected: Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Visits should be about joy and mutual effort — not guilt or obligation. #AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising

    5 phút
  4. Shame, Religion & Ambiguity: The Courage to Not Know (Part 2 with Carl King)

    21 THG 9

    Shame, Religion & Ambiguity: The Courage to Not Know (Part 2 with Carl King)

    In Part 2 of Kyira’s conversation with Change Consultant Carl King, the focus shifts from breaking free of rigid religious systems to the long and often messy process of rebuilding life afterward. Carl reflects on the terror and liberation of walking away, the ongoing pull of shame and self-sabotage, and the importance of learning to sit with discomfort instead of rushing toward quick fixes. Together, Kyira and Carl explore themes of identity, ambiguity, and curiosity as tools for healing and growth, reminding listeners that change is less about having the “right” answer and more about experimenting with new ways of being. Key Takeaways Freedom is mixed. Leaving controlling systems brings both terror and empowerment — it’s never clean or simple.Insight and action are different. Sometimes the most powerful move is holding space in ambiguity instead of rushing to “fix” things.Boundaries build self-worth. Saying “no” creates respect and helps reveal who genuinely values you.Trust takes rebuilding. Healing requires learning to see individuals as distinct, not assuming everyone will harm or control.Creativity fosters resilience. Outlets like writing, music, or simple “chord changes” open space for curiosity and healing.It’s all an experiment. Approaching life with patience, curiosity, and compassion reduces shame and keeps growth possible. More about Carl: Carl King is a Change Consultant, empowering organizations and individuals with methods for lasting change. Drawing from his rich tapestry of experiences, Carl brings a unique blend of empathy and insight to his coaching practice. His own journey taught him the power of embracing change, and he's dedicated his life to helping others navigate their own transformations skillfully. Connect with Carl: WebsiteInstagram/Socials: @carleking and @mychordchange Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

    57 phút
  5. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E19: Why Does It Feel Like I’m Always the Bad Guy for Not Calling My Mom?

    15 THG 9

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E19: Why Does It Feel Like I’m Always the Bad Guy for Not Calling My Mom?

    In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “Why does it always feel like I’m the bad guy for not calling my mom every day when she could just as easily call me? I’m exhausted and somehow it’s still on me.” If you’ve ever felt guilty for not calling enough — or been shamed for not doing more to “keep the relationship alive” — you’ll connect with this one. We explore the guilt adult children often feel when parents put the responsibility of connection entirely on them, and what it takes to set that weight down. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about: Why this guilt doesn’t actually belong to youThe myth of “role reversal” in adult parent–child relationshipsHow guilt trips erode connection instead of building itPractical ways to respond to “You never call me” without caving or overexplainingIf you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly cast as the “bad guy” in your relationship with a parent, this episode is for you. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode? Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing). ⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you. 👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together. Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected: Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Love should feel mutual, not one-sided. You don’t have to carry the relationship alone. #AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising

    6 phút
  6. Shame & Suppression: Breaking the Cycle of Avoidance

    14 THG 9

    Shame & Suppression: Breaking the Cycle of Avoidance

    In this conversation, Kyira and Jennifer Ginty explore the deep connection between emotions, shame, and healing. Jennifer shares her personal journey of surviving childhood trauma, navigating Complex PTSD and depression, and ultimately creating My Moody Monster — a tool designed to help both children and adults externalize and regulate big emotions. Together, they discuss how society teaches us to suppress feelings, the generational cycles that keep us from emotional regulation, and why learning to face and integrate emotions is central to healing. Emotions are information, not problems. Every feeling serves a purpose, but judgment and suppression turn them into sources of shame.Healing is not linear. Growth is a roller coaster of highs and lows — giving yourself grace is essential.Generational patterns matter. Families and micro-societies teach us to stuff emotions, but we can choose to break the cycle.Toolboxes are personal. From therapy skills to creative outlets like Moody, what matters is finding tools that work for you.Kids need safe outlets. Tools like Moody help children (and adults) externalize frustration, communicate about feelings, and rebuild after emotional outbursts.Building a team is key. Surrounding yourself with supportive professionals and loved ones helps reinforce that you matter too.More about Jen: Jen is the creator of Moody, a project born from her journey of living with Complex PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. Refusing to be defined by suffering, Jen sees Moody as a love story to her healing — a tool that has not only supported her through challenges but also helped children navigate their big feelings. Today, she is on a mission to bring Moody to first responders, social workers, and children facing traumatic events, ensuring they are met with care, support, and hope. Connect with Jen: YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@mymoodymonsterInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/mymoodymonsterFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/my-moody-monsterTikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@mymoodymonsterLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/93141440My Moody Monster – Learn more about Jennifer’s creation, pre-order a Moody, or explore donation options to support kids and families through first responders and social workers.Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) – An evidence-based therapy that teaches skills for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and mindfulness.Internal Family Systems (IFS) – A therapeutic approach that helps people explore and heal different “parts” of themselves shaped by past experiences.Find a Therapist – Building your own “team” is essential. You can search for licensed therapists near you through directories like Psychology Today or GoodTherapy.In Crisis? – If you’re struggling with trauma or overwhelming emotions, help is available. In the U.S., call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If outside the U.S., please look up your local crisis hotline for immediate support.Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsiteKey TakeawaysResources & Additional Information

    1 giờ 2 phút
  7. 🎙️Ask Me Anything - E18: Living by Your Values When You’ve Always Lived by “Shoulds”

    8 THG 9

    🎙️Ask Me Anything - E18: Living by Your Values When You’ve Always Lived by “Shoulds”

    In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “I’ve made so many decisions based on what I thought I ‘should’ do. I’m trying to live by my values now, but I feel lost. Where do I even start?” We explore the messy, brave, and often disorienting process of untangling your identity from the “shoulds” you've inherited — and beginning the work of living by your own values. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about: How shame shapes our early decision-makingThe grief and confusion that can surface when we stop performing and start aligningHow to identify your values when you’ve lost touch with themPractical ways to rebuild a life that feels like your ownIf you’ve ever felt like you built a life that looks good on paper but doesn’t feel like you — this episode is for you. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode? Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing). ⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you. 👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together. Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected: Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Letting go of “should” is not failure — it’s freedom. Start where you are. Build from what matters. #AskMeAnything #LiveByYourValues #LetGoOfShould #ShameResilience #Authenticity #AdversityRising

    5 phút
  8. Shame & Asking for Help with Avani Patel

    7 THG 9

    Shame & Asking for Help with Avani Patel

    In this thought-provoking episode, Kyira Wackett and Avani Patel delve into the societal pressures and standards that shape our lives. They explore the challenges of asking for help in a world that often equates vulnerability with weakness. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they uncover how societal norms impact our sense of belonging and self-worth. Join them as they discuss the importance of reclaiming personal power and rewriting the narratives that no longer serve us. Tune in to discover how embracing vulnerability can lead to profound personal growth and stronger community connections. Societal Pressures and Standards: Exploring how societal norms influence our behavior and self-perception.Asking for Help: The challenges and misconceptions around seeking support and its impact on personal growth.Connection and Belonging: The role of community in overcoming shame and fostering a sense of belonging.Reclaiming Personal Power: Strategies for rewriting personal narratives and taking back control of one's life.Vulnerability and Growth: How embracing vulnerability can lead to significant personal transformation.Cultural Differences: Insights into how different cultures approach help and community support.Generational Beliefs: Breaking the cycle of inherited beliefs and creating new, empowering narratives.More about Avani: “I recently left corporate after 20 years to pursue my passion for helping others. As a hypnotherapist, I help my clients with deep healing. As a coach, I teach women how to end the hustle and grind of burnout so that they can have more balance, happiness, and fulfillment.” Connect with Avani: Eternal Alchemists: WebsiteCoaching WebsiteInstagramYouTubeTikTokReady to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

    46 phút
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Giới Thiệu

New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 

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