The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce

Britta Jo
  • 4.5 (6)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

  1. Two Questions for Self-Care While Considering Divorce

    2d ago ·  Video

    Two Questions for Self-Care While Considering Divorce

    Episode 112: Considering divorce? These two essential self-care questions will help you ground yourself when everything feels overwhelming.  Hey y'all, let’s just take a collective deep breath together. After a few heavy, deeply intellectual episodes, I felt it in my bones that we needed to slow down, vibe, and get back to the absolute basics this week. When I was in the thick of navigating my own separation and trying to decide whether to stay or go, my therapist started every single session with the same two questions. She didn’t dive into the big philosophical drama—she brought me right back to my body. In this episode, I’m asking you those same two questions: How is your sleep? And how is your eating going? 🛋️✨ We dig into why these two foundational pillars of self-care are the very first things to unravel when we’re stressed, and why skipping them makes big life decisions ten times harder. I’m opening up about my own struggles with summer schedules, my holy-grail trick for blocking out the noise (hello, neon orange earplugs! 🧡), and how a fascinating book called Mother Hunger sheds light on why so many of us restrict or overeat when our nervous systems are totally revved up. If you’ve been taught that prioritizing yourself is selfish or dangerous, let this be your gentle permission slip to remother yourself this week. You cannot resource your future if you are running on empty right now. Put the checklist down, listen in, and let’s take care of you first. Resources: Episode 12: Boundaries – The Life Coach School Podcast Episode 163: Boundaries 2.0– The Life Coach School Podcast Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniels  Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    22 min
  2. Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera

    Jun 16 ·  Video

    Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera

    Episode 111: Hey loves! Welcome back to the podcast. Today, Quinn and I are wrapping up our two-part series on historian Gerda Lerner, and we are diving deep into her incredible book, The Creation of Feminist Consciousness. We’re unpacking exactly how women have spent the last 1,500 years fighting to break free from patriarchal programming and own their minds. 🧠✨ Before we get into the history, I have a quick but super important business update. Regular Tuesday episodes won't be posted on Substack anymore. To support the show, please switch your listening over to Apple or Spotify, hit follow, and leave a quick review or comment. It takes two seconds but helps massive amounts with the algorithm!  To my Substack babes: don't worry, this space isn't going away. It’s shifting into my exclusive hub where I'll be dropping extra goodies, values worksheets, tarot freebies, and personal essays just for you. 💖 In today's episode, Quinn and I are looking at what it means to actually "self-authorize"—to believe you have a right to your own thoughts and choices. For centuries, women were taught that our only purpose was to pour all our energy into the emotional, sexual, and professional development of a man (shoutout to fucking Jerry! 😂). We talk about how women's history was systematically erased, forcing generations of brilliant women to reinvent the wheel in isolation like lonely Robinson Crusoes on desert islands. 🏝️ We also break down the four things women absolutely need to turn their dreams into real-world freedom: Economic independence 💰Reproductive control 🤰Equal access to education 📚Autonomous social spaces outside the family unit 👯‍♀️That fourth piece is exactly what we’ve built in our community—a space away from the male gaze where you can realize you aren't "too much," you're just brilliant. Once you see through the matrix of patriarchal thought, you can never unsee it. 🌍✨ Pop in your headphones and let’s dive in! Show Notes: Extra ✨bonus✨ material can be found on Substack for my paid subscribers. stayorgo.substack.com Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner Who Cooked Adam Smith's Dinner? by Katrine Marçal  The Exceptions by Kate Zernike  Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez  The Power by Naomi Alderman  Women's War series by Jenna Glass  SUFFS on PBS / Broadway Ladies First on Netflix  Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    1h 53m
  3. What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera

    Jun 9

    What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera

    Episode 110: Hello, hello, babes! 💕 Oh my goodness, my heart is so incredibly full because the beautiful Yin to my Yang—the gorgeous, brilliant Quinn—is officially BACK! 🥰 It feels just like the good old days, vibing out together and diving straight into the deep end. For this episode, Quinn and I really took one for the team. We spent weeks digging into the meaty, mind-blowing work of historian Gerda Lerner’s The Creation of Patriarchy, and let me tell you... once you see the matrix, you cannot unsee it. 😲 If you are sitting there considering divorce, feeling psychologically exhausted, or constantly wondering, "Am I the crazy one?"—please take a deep breath right now. 😮‍💨 This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself. We are breaking down how the world was artificially engineered by men, for men, and why we internalize these thousands-of-years-old systems as personal failures. Quinn and I are tracking the whole trajectory, from ancient Mother Goddess worship to the "Genesis hit job" that flipped the script on our power. 🐍 Here is what we are unpacking: The Neolithic Team: How early tribes relied on true mutuality, and why the "trad-wife" illusion is anything but natural. 🌾The Agricultural Shift: How shifting to farming turned the sacred female body into a commodity to be owned and controlled. 🚜The Patriarchal Bargain: How systemic hierarchies strategically divided women from each other to keep the play running. 🎭Rewriting the Divine: How men conscripted God into their own image to justify dominating half the population. 👑This isn't about doing to men what they did to us—it’s about waking up to true mutuality and stepping off the stage of a play we didn't write. 🛑 When we band together in true sisterhood and refuse to play our assigned, supportive roles, the patriarch's play finally comes to an end. 👭💥 Please send this episode to your sisters, your besties, and your moms. We need to know our history so we don't fall for the ploy again! If you are looking for your ultimate "girls' girls" community to hold you through this fog, we are waiting for you! ✨ Text "stay or go community" to 33777 to join us. Plus, Quinn is back doing her legendary tarot readings in the community this summer (jaws are dropping, babes, so don't ask what you don't want to know! 🔮). 1:1 90-minute coaching links are below. I love you, I see you, and we will see you next week! Sending so much love. 💖🛋️ Show Notes: Extra ✨bonus✨ material can be found on Substack for my paid subscribers. stayorgo.substack.com Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook The Creation of Patriarchy PDF - Gerda Lerner The Creation of Patriarchy  - Gerda Lerner The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    1h 33m
  4. When Life Takes Us Places We Didn’t Expect: The Hard Truth of Admitting It’s Not Working

    Jun 2

    When Life Takes Us Places We Didn’t Expect: The Hard Truth of Admitting It’s Not Working

    Episode 109: Hello, my loves. Welcome back. Today’s episode is a deeply personal, vulnerable, and ultimately liberating one for me. For the past eight months, I have been spinning in a messy internal loop, trying to force a business model that just wasn’t working. Instead of looking at the numbers cleanly, my conditioning told me I just needed to try harder, surrender more, and carry the entire weight of the world on my shoulders. If you are currently considering divorce, this loop probably sounds incredibly familiar. So often, we look inward and blame ourselves for a failing marriage, believing that walking away means we can’t trust our own judgment or that we have failed as the emotional anchors of our families. After a beautifully raw reality check with my coach, Quinn, I finally embraced a truth I want to hand to you today: it is not a sin, it is just data. In this episode, I’m sharing the messy journey behind my major decision to remove the paywall and return the podcast to a completely free, open resource for everyone, permanently. We are diving into the trap of hyper-independence, shedding old conditioning, and learning how to pivot in a rebellious act of self-love. ✨ Paid subscribers, listen in for the exciting details on how your investment is shifting into monthly live coaching and deep-dive resources straight from The Vault! ❤️ Show Notes: The "Click Clack Symphony" Video Substack DM/Contact Page The "Good Guy" Article The Human Design Episode with Deanna The Creation of Patriarchy - Gerda Lerner The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner The Light Seers Tarot Deck - Eight of Cups Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribeSupport the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    1h 34m
  5. The "Sacred Marriage": Why Your Shadow Holds Keys to Your Power with Dani Granaroli

    May 26

    The "Sacred Marriage": Why Your Shadow Holds Keys to Your Power with Dani Granaroli

    Episode 108: We are so often told that self-connection is about positive vibes, daily mantras, and focusing only on the light. But if you have ever hit a wall with traditional manifestation work—if you have found yourself feeling completely stuck despite your best efforts—you already know there is a deeper layer of yourself waiting to be met. This week, I am so excited to introduce you to Dani. We met back in 2024 in a coach training container, and she is hands-down one of the most uniquely grounded, delightful, and artistic coaches I have ever worked with. In my own moments of feeling fractured, Dani is the person who created a space safe enough for my deepest, most hidden parts to finally creep out and be seen. In this episode, we dig into what it actually means to bring together our light and dark parts through what Dani calls the “alchemical marriage of opposites.” She shares her journey from living as a highly dissociated, intellect-driven human to anchoring deeply in her body through myofascial release, the deep mind-mapping of Dr. Robert, and the paradigm-shifting world of Carolyn Elliott’s Existential Kink. What We Dig Into: * The Backdoor Ego Agenda: How we often try to do shadow work with a secret condition (“I’ll look at my darkness, but only if it gives me what I want”), and what happens when we ask: What if this never changes? * The Energy of Resistance: Why it takes so much work to keep parts of ourselves repressed, and how finding approval for your shadow liberates your creative force. * Slowing Down to Titrate: Moving away from treating our bodies like machines and learning how to sit with intense emotions for just 30 seconds at a time. * Parts Work and the Savior Complex: Why every single part of you loves you and has a positive intention—even the messy ones—and how to stop giving until you burn out. * Money as the “Final Boss”: A transparent look at why money, receiving, and worth are the ultimate playgrounds for shadow work. If you are navigating the disorienting, in-between space of considering divorce, or if you are just exhausted from treating your personal growth like a grueling chore, this conversation is a breath of fresh air. It is an invitation to move away from heavy “healing work” and step into deep, soulful play. Show Notes: Connect with Dani: Dani’s Website Dani’s Instagram Dominion Community Penetrate Radio Podcast: Apple Spotify Instagram YouTube iHeart Radio John Barnes Myofascial Release The Light Dark Institute Dr. Robert Dee McDonald Christina Morassi Luis Mojica Carolyn Elliot Connect with Britta: Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribeSupport the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    1h 27m
  6. Stop Doubting, Start Designing: Become the Authority of Your Life with Human Design and Diana Elizabeth

    May 19

    Stop Doubting, Start Designing: Become the Authority of Your Life with Human Design and Diana Elizabeth

    Episode 107: In this episode, I sit down with Deanna Elizabeth for a conversation about Human Design and the deeper work of self-connection it can open inside us. This is not a conversation about a system of labels or complex data charts. It is a conversation about what happens when you begin to trust that authority may already be living within you. We explore what it looks like to connect with your unique energetic blueprint. To listen for the truths beneath the noise of lifelong conditioning, family expectations, and trauma. And to approach Human Design not as something outside of you, but as a literal X-ray that helps you access what your body, your soul, and your inner voice may already know. At the center of this conversation is a powerful remembering. So many women considering divorce have been taught that truth must come through prescribed channels. That access to safety, to knowing, to authority lives somewhere outside of themselves—in a partner, a family, or a system. But what if the real invitation is to reclaim your own relationship with wisdom? To let your natural strategy, your intuition, and your body become part of the language through which you come home to yourself? Through this conversation, you will hear what it means to look at your design with reverence, curiosity, and openness. You will learn about the precise “monkeys”—the shadow patterns and ancestral distortions—that pull you away from your alignment, and how identifying them gives you the power to choose yourself. Not a way to escape your life, but a way to meet yourself more fully. This episode is not really about Human Design. It is about remembering how to trust your own knowing. ✨ Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack Diana’s Website Join us for the Human Design Workshop on Sunday, May 24th, 2026 Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribeSupport the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    1h 6m
  7. When Husbands Don't "Lose Their Sh*t" During Divorce: A Success Story

    May 12

    When Husbands Don't "Lose Their Sh*t" During Divorce: A Success Story

    Episode 106: In this episode, I sit down with a woman from inside the Stay or Go community whose journey reveals the quiet, physical toll of living a life that only looks good on paper. This is not a story about a high-conflict disaster. It is a story about the “box-checking” trap—the graduation, the career, the marriage, and the home—and the realization that checking every box can still leave you completely empty. We explore what it looks like to finally listen to your own skin. To acknowledge the panic attacks that strike on the commute home and the GI issues that signal a deep internal misalignment. We dig into the grit it takes to build an exit strategy while pregnant, choosing to “be selfish” by investing in your own education and healing so that you—and your children—can eventually breathe. At the center of this conversation is a startlingly beautiful observation of human maturity. The belief so many women carry is that telling the truth will inevitably lead to a “shit show” of aggression and shaming. But through Jaguar’s experience, we see a rare and thrilling alternative. We witness what happens when a husband chooses respect over ego, allowing a marriage to dissolve at a barroom table with a pen, a plan, and a profound sense of grace. Through her story, you will hear what it means to move from performance to presence. The terror of the filing, the vulnerability of the “final blow,” and the liberation of the first two months on the other side. You will hear how her choice didn’t just end a marriage, but birthed a collaborative friendship that actually serves her family. This episode is not about staying or going. It is about the radical act of reclaiming your own exploration and trusting your body when it says it is time to move. ✨ Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribeSupport the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    1h 13m
  8. Beyond the Betrayal: When the Affair is Not Your Fault

    May 5

    Beyond the Betrayal: When the Affair is Not Your Fault

    Episode 105: This week, I am opening up a conversation that I know is heavy, nuanced, and for many of you, deeply triggering. I’m reopening the topic of affairs, but from a vantage point I haven’t fully explored on this podcast before. To help me navigate this, I’ve brought on a very special guest: my partner, Joe. For a long time, I’ve spoken about affairs through the lens of what Joe describes in this episode as the “Deserted Island”—the experience of a partner so starved for connection and visibility that they reach for water wherever they can find it, even if it’s from a source they never thought they’d touch. But I’ve realized that by focusing there, I left a group of you behind. I left out the ones who were fully invested, who were over-functioning to keep the marriage alive, and who were still blindsided by a partner’s betrayal. In this episode, Joe and I dig into the heart of that wreckage. Joe shares his own raw history of being on both sides of this coin: the one who sought more outside a marriage, and later, the one who had his world leveled by a partner’s infidelity. We discuss the “head game” of blame—that exhausting, frantic ping-pong match our brains play between It’s all their fault and I wasn’t enough. We talk about why we internalize someone else’s choice as a reflection of our own worth, and how that trauma untethers us from our very sense of self. Whether you are currently wading through the mess of a partner’s choice or looking back at the eras of your life that no longer make sense, I want you to hear this: an affair is data, but it is not a definition of your value. You don’t have to carry the responsibility for a promise you didn’t break. You get to stop the spin. You get to come home to yourself.🤍 Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack Episode 21 - Affairs Part 2: Five Mistakes Husbands Make When They Find Out & What Women Really Want in Relationship (hint, you’ll find it in the ACOTAR series) Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribeSupport the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    1h 33m
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4.5
out of 5
6 Ratings

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Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

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