The Problem With Perfect

Robin May and Denise Bickel
  • 4.9 (83)
  • CHRISTIANITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

If perfection is an illusion, why are so many of us chasing it? We live in a world that is constantly telling us we need to be it all and have it all to be worthy. It leads us to hide our imperfections and overcompensate our strengths - and leaves us exhausted. Join hosts Robin May and Denise Bickel for meaningful, cross-generational conversations that will leave you uplifted and encouraged about a future freed from the problem with perfect.

  1. 1H AGO

    When Silence No Longer Feels Faithful With Ashely Gross Minor

    Some conversations don’t start with answers. They start with a shift you didn’t see coming. In this episode, Robin sits down with Ashley Gross Minor for a deeply personal and honest conversation about what happens when something that once felt foundational and sacred begins to feel messy and complicated. Ashley spent more than a decade immersed in what many call the “K-World” of Kanakuk Ministries. She was a camper, leader, mentor, and believer whose faith was shaped in that space. But recently, something changed. After engaging with a widely circulated conversation featuring Elizabeth Carlock Phillips on The Shawn Ryan Show, Ashley found herself wrestling with questions she could no longer ignore. This episode isn’t about proving facts or revisiting headlines. It’s about what happens internally when new information collides with long-held trust. It’s about the tension of holding both gratitude and grief. Of reconciling meaningful spiritual experiences with difficult realities. Of deciding what responsibility looks like when silence no longer feels right. This conversation may challenge you. It may resonate with you. It may simply invite you to reflect more deeply. (Listener discretion is advised as we discuss sensitive issues related to child sexual abuse.) Special Guest: Ashley Gross Minor Ashley Gross Minor is a wife, mom, and business owner whose life has been deeply impacted by her experiences with Kanakuk Ministries. In fact, she spent more than fourteen years deeply embedded in what many refer to as the Kanakuk “K-World.”  She was a camper. A staff member. A recruiter. A graduate of the Institute. A KLIFE director. A leader. A mentor. She sent children she loves to camp. She gave her life to Christ there at twelve years old. For most of her life, this wasn’t just a camp. It was a spiritual home. But recently, Ashley listened to a three-plus- hour conversation between Elizabeth Carlock Phillips and Shawn Ryan on The Shawn Ryan Show. This conversation deeply impacted her understanding of what has unfolded over decades within the organization. She joins Robin on this episode to discuss her personal experiences at Kanakuk and why she can no longer remain silent. Show Notes: The Shawn Ryan Show: Elizabeth Phllips- Camp Kanakuk: Exposing One of hte World's Largest Summer Camps https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vQriYkW8KQ Website Ashely mentions: https://factsaboutkanakuk.com/ Sexual Abuse Resources for the Columbia, MO area: True North of Columbia (formerly Rape & Abuse Crisis Service / RACS) 24/7 crisis line: 573-875-1370 or 800-548-2480Services: confidential counseling, advocacy, support groups, legal/hospital accompanimentServes Boone County and surrounding areasServices are free or low-cost for survivors. SNAP – Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests Hotline: 1-877-SNAP-HEALS (1-877-762-7432)Peer support, advocacy, and referrals to therapists familiar with clergy abuse. The Hope of Survivors National organization focused specifically on clergy sexual abuse and spiritual abuse recovery. These organizations are especially helpful when you want a clinician who understands spiritual betrayal, faith injury, or church dynamics. RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) 24/7 hotline: 800-656-HOPEOnline chat and local provider referrals nationwide. Missouri Coalition / State Sexual Violence Network Helps connect you to community rape crisis centers and trauma therapists across Missouri.

    1h 4m

  2. FEB 10

    The Practice of Contentment (and Why It’s So Hard)

    What if contentment isn’t something we chase, but something we practice? In this episode, Robin and Denise continue their journey through the Yamas and Niyamas, arriving at the second Niyama: Santosha, which is the practice of deep, inner contentment. Together, they explore what it means to find peace in the present moment, regardless of external circumstances, and why our constant striving for “what’s next” may be keeping us from fully living now. Through personal stories, practical reflections, breathwork, gratitude, and both biblical and scientific insight, this conversation invites you to pause, let joy linger, and consider the paradox of non-seeking. If you’re tired of waiting for life to finally feel good, or realizing you might be wishing it away, this episode offers a gentle, grounding reminder: contentment begins within. Show Notes: The Yamas and Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

    55 min

  3. JAN 27

    When Faith Shifts: A Journey from Evangelical Church to the LDS Church With Kathy Hahn

    What happens when long-held faith begins to raise deeper questions? In today’s episode, I’m joined by my longtime friend Kathy Hahn. Over nearly twenty years of friendship, I’ve watched Kathy live out her faith sincerely while also wrestling honestly with complex theological questions. A little more than two years ago, Kathy made the decision to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where she and her husband have since been baptized and are now actively serving. In this thoughtful conversation, we explore what led her to the LDS Church, how she has reconciled theological differences with her former beliefs, and what it means to follow conviction when faith evolves. This episode is about curiosity and understanding in a world that too often doesn’t appreciate either.  Special Guest: Kathy Hahn

    1h 10m

  4. JAN 13

    How to Feel Lighter in a Busy and Overstimulated World

    Six months into our journey through the Yamas and Niyamas, we pause to reflect on what it really means to let go. Not just of our stuff, but of expectations, busyness, self-judgment, and the heaviness we carry inside. In this episode, we finish our exploration of Aparigraha (nonpossessiveness) and begin our inward turn into the Niyamas, starting with Saucha, the practice of purity. But purity here isn’t about perfection, appearances, or having it all together. It’s about lightening our load, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, so we can meet each moment with clarity, compassion, and presence. Join us as we talk about what it might look like to stop “planning ourselves” and instead love ourselves as we are. This is an invitation to slow down, to be present, and to become a safer place for ourselves and for others. If you’re feeling weighed down, scattered, or quietly exhausted by trying to do it all right, this conversation offers a gentler way forward - one rooted in presence, peace, and learning to let joy linger. Show Notes: The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

    1h 2m

  5. 12/30/2025

    The Best of 2025: What Mattered, What Changed Us and What We're Changing for 2026

    What if the end of the year isn’t about fixing what went wrong, but noticing what mattered most? In this special end-of-year episode of The Problem With Perfect, we’re looking back on 2025 through a “Best Of” lens. What shaped us, surprised us, stretched us, and stayed with us. From books and boundaries to money well spent and lessons learned, this conversation is honest, grounding, and deeply reflective. We’re also sharing our words for 2026- the intentions we’re carrying forward to help guide how we live, lead, and let go in the year ahead. And finally… we’re making a big announcement about the future of The Problem With Perfect- what’s changing, what’s staying, and what this next chapter means for you. If you’re craving clarity, perspective, and a little hope as one year closes and another begins, this episode is for you. 🎧 Press play! You won’t want to miss this one. Show Notes: January isn't about reinventing yourself. It's about returning to yourself. It is a change to slow down and listen to what your inner world has been trying to say beneath all the noise. Set intentions that feel like nourishment instead of punishment. Choose habits that support the person you are becoming, not the person you think you are supposed to be. Let this be the month you honor your boundaries, protect your energy, and move toward what feels aligned rather than what feels expected. January is a doorway, not a deadline. Step through it with clarity, softness ,and a willingness to grow at your own pace. From HigherPerspective.com

    1h 4m

  6. 12/16/2025

    Across Generations: The Joy and Science of Grandparenting

    In this heartfelt episode, we explore why grandparent-grandchild relationships matter, not just emotionally, but based on decades of research. Join us for this episode and learn how grandparents support children’s development, ease the parenting journey, and build lifelong bonds through simple, intentional acts of love, presence, and consistency.  This episode might prepare you for grandparenting in your future or take you on a walk down memory lane with your own grandparents. Either way, we hope you’ll be blessed and encouraged by it. Show Notes: 1. Harvard Graduate School of Education – “The Supporting Role of Grandparents” https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/21st-century-learning-lab/supporting-role-grandparents 2. American Academy of Pediatrics – Grandparents and Child Development https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/Grandparents-and-Childrens-Development.aspx 3. AARP – The Value of Grandparent-Grandchild Relationships https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/value-of-grandparent-relationships.html 4. Pew Research Center – Grandparenting in the 21st Century https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2015/05/21/raising-kids-and-helping-grandkids/ 5. Journal of Family Issues – Emotional Closeness Between Grandparents and Grandchildren https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0192513X16676857 6. The Gerontologist – Benefits of Intergenerational Bonds for Children & Older Adults https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/58/3/472/2632080

    45 min

  7. 12/09/2025

    Caring To The End: Tom May's Story of Escorting His Mother to Heaven

    Caregiving is a sacred gift. Caring for someone who is chronically or terminally ill requires patience, understanding, and selflessness. Most caregivers are not professional healthcare workers; rather, they are loving family members who dedicate their lives to improving the well-being of their loved ones. Caregiving often presents significant challenges and in this episode, Robin's husband, Tom, is here to talk about them.  His mother, like many individuals who are ill, required round-the-clock care. For Tom and other caregivers who work outside the home, this situation leads to difficult decisions: choose between paying for private care or providing the care themselves. There are no easy solutions to this dilemma, as Tom explains.  When we care for one of God’s children, we are truly doing the Lord’s work. Most who have been in the caregiving role, including Tom after three months at his mother's bedside, deem the experience a blessing beyond measure.  If you aren’t a caregiver but know someone who is, consider offering support, respite, or, at the very least, prayers and encouragement. Also, send them this episode so they know they are not alone. Special Guest: Tom May Tom and his sister committed to keeping their mother at home as she battled Parkinson's Disease and cancer. This commitment didn't come easy or without challenges. He joins us today to discuss them.  Tom is the husband of Robin, and together they have two children and one granddaughter.  Show Notes The Caregiving Crisis No One is Talking About https://www.mariashriversundaypaper.com/the-caregiving-crisis-ai-jen-poo/?utm_source=SailThru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Fall%20Issue%20No.%207%20November%209%2C%202025&utm_term=Sunday%20Paper Caregiver Bill of Rights https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregivers-bill-rights/ Celebrating National Family Caregivers Month with BLS Data https://www.bls.gov/blog/2023/celebrating-national-family-caregivers-month-with-bls-data.htm The Overwhelming Financial Toll of Family Caregiving https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/financial-impact-caregiving/ Family and Medical Leave Act https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla ‘Tis the Season https://denisebickel.com//tis-the-season

    1h 1m

  8. 12/02/2025

    The Gentle Discipline of Letting Go

    Our fifth and final Yama jewel, Aparigraha, encourages us to embrace non-possessiveness. What do you covet? What do you cling to? Consider what in your life reflects your values and priorities. This month’s Yama invites us to examine the physical possessions we surround ourselves with. Do these items make you feel free and light, or do they weigh you down and create a sense of heaviness? Aparigraha serves as a reminder that breathwork is a perfect example of non-possessiveness. The simple act of inhaling and exhaling teaches us about embracing the fullness of life without the need to cling to it. Instead of holding onto our breath, we allow it to flow, experiencing release and relaxation. This time of year often brings many obligations and expectations. Aparigraha urges us to be gentle with ourselves and with others. When we extend unconditional love, we model non-possessiveness and promote acceptance and forgiveness. What a beautiful way to end the year! Show Notes: The Yamas and Niyamas: Exploring The Ethical Practice of Yoga by Deborah Adele

    44 min
See All (346)

4.9
out of 5
83 Ratings

About

If perfection is an illusion, why are so many of us chasing it? We live in a world that is constantly telling us we need to be it all and have it all to be worthy. It leads us to hide our imperfections and overcompensate our strengths - and leaves us exhausted. Join hosts Robin May and Denise Bickel for meaningful, cross-generational conversations that will leave you uplifted and encouraged about a future freed from the problem with perfect.

Information

  • Creator
    Robin May and Denise Bickel
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    346
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Problem With Perfect
  • Show Website
    The Problem With Perfect