Part one of a two-part series on self comparison opens with the hard truth that most people are not behind at all. Lesley Logan traces the borrowed scoreboards we inherit from parents, from past versions of ourselves, and from a social feed built entirely of highlight reels. She unpacks a goal she once wrote down that was never actually hers, and why envy works better as a diagnostic tool than a verdict. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free. In this episode you will learn about: Letting go of what no longer serves instead of accumulating more.Why feeling behind at thirty said nothing about actually being behind.Envy read as a highlight of what matters, not a judgment.How a goal written on a Lululemon worksheet was never actually hers.Four homework questions to answer before the radical success audit. Episode References/Links: Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! 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Lesley Logan 0:11 Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:54 Hey, Be It babe, welcome, welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast. Today we're talking about self-comparison, and ooh, I don't know if you were raised on this line, but I was raised on self-comparison is a thief of joy. I guess they didn't have the self part. The comparison is a thief of joy, and you know what? It f*****g is. So here's the deal: if you have ever looked at someone else's life online or in your community and felt this immediate sinking pit in your stomach telling you that you are behind, or you just see something, and you're just, "Why them? How do they get that?" I feel that for you. I really, really do. I heard a woman say this beautiful line at a talk the other day, and I'm going to have her on the podcast. She is scheduled, so we will have an episode with her, and we'll probably talk about this deeper. But she had said this, like, hit me. She said, "If comparison is high, clarity is low," and I think if that's all you get out of this episode, then I will, then I've done my job. But today we are going to break down the hard truth. You're probably not behind at all, right? And you know this, you know. But let's talk about why are you scoring yourself on someone else's scoreboard? Because that's what comparison is, right? Lesley Logan 1:58 When we compare yourself to somebody else, it's just like we're using someone else's life and their scoreboard and going, "We are behind," but really, you're in your own f*****g game. So this first part. So on Thursday we'll have a second part. We're gonna just talk about comparison and do a radical success audit because I really do want you to stop outsourcing your metrics of happiness because you are comparing yourself on data that isn't the right data you need to get to where you want to go. This is called "Be It Till You See It," right? If you are using the wrong metrics to "Be It Till You See It," you're going to end up being on someone else's costume. It's going to be, don't even know what that is. "Be it till you are in their clothes." That's not going to work. So here's the deal: I am a 43-year-old woman who is talking to you right now, and oh my god, I think I was a 43-year-old in a child's body my whole life. Maybe not that old, but I definitely couldn't wait to be at the next level in the next stage. And I definitely compared myself to so many people. Being young was so hard. I was so hard on myself because, first of all, I didn't have a lot of money when I grew up, and all my friends really did. At least, if they didn't, it seemed like they did because they went to Disneyland before I could. They had cars when they were 16. I had to buy mine, right? Like there's all these just different things that they're so. Oh my god! I was in the AP classes, and these people were so smart. My B plus was the hardest work of life that I could get. My A minuses were, and they came so easy to them. Came so easy, right? And so I remember going to college, and everybody was like finding their husbands and getting married. And I was really proud to not get married in college. Lesley Logan 3:30 I mean, because one, my college was super expensive, and two, I'm, thank God, I didn't marry those men, I would have been divorced very quickly, and I probably would have had a life I didn't want to really have a hard time. So, but I do remember after 30, my 30th birthday. I remember just feeling, "Wow, I'm behind. I am behind." Because even though I knew I didn't want kids and that kind of thing, I wasn't married. In fact, I was broken up. I broke up with my partner, and I was semi-homeless, and I had to start over with my studio and blah blah blah, and I just felt behind. Wow, you know. And then it felt every single month of not being in a relationship with the right person was now I'm not going to get married at least until I'm 31. Then it's, you know what I mean, like. And then I just remember feeling I didn't have it all locked down, and I think a lot of women feel that way at a young age, whether or not you want to have children. Lesley Logan 4:24 There's this thing we've got to get this stuff done early, and as we know, that's not true. But it doesn't mean that it still doesn't feel true, right? It doesn't. It feels true. And there's also the idea, you know, retirement is around the corner. I mean, it's not really around the corner, but I want to retire early, so it's around the corner. Do I have enough money for that? I, I should have had this many members by now, so then I could do X, Y, and Z. And so it's just, it's a really hard time because there does feel like there's a timeline, and that we're trapped, and that we are behind, even if we don't look at other people, because there's just things we want to have done by now, and the reality is, as a business owner, as long as I've been, everything takes longer than we want. It will always have problems, and all of a sudden, you'll have been there, and you'll be looking back, and wow, how did that go? Lesley Logan 5:13 Like I was at Brad's birthday party, and with a friend, and he didn't know how we met, and so I told the story. I was like, "Yeah, that was 11 years ago. That's 11 years ago. 11 years ago, when we got married, f**k. Wow, time does fly when you're having a good time. But also, we have to remember that this is a really good time for us to edit, get rid of, let go of things, not just keep accumulating, because it makes it really difficult to find the success that you want if you're trying to carry all the things from the past decades with you. So, what do you have to let go of? Is it friends? Is it a dresser you've just been shoving more shit in? Is it a car? Is it a job? Is it a goal that isn't yours? Lesley Logan 6:03 So, for example, before I became a Lululemon ambassador, this would be 14 years ago, 15 years ago. When you come to the house, you'll see that my picture is on the wall here. It's f*****g huge, and I don't know what to do with it. So it's just right there, staring at you, the g
