Not Too Sensitive - Empowering Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) To Own Their Sensitivity

Alissa Boyer
  • 4.9 (149)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Have you been told you're "too sensitive" or "too emotional"? Do you often feel drained by other people? Are you moved to tears easily? If so... you just may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Join host and HSP Mentor, Alissa Boyer, as she breaks the stigma of sensitivity and teaches you how to embrace your sensitivity as a gift. Here, you'll always be welcomed exactly as you are. New episodes every Tuesday!

  1. 3d ago

    266. Why Do I Always Have to Be the Bigger Person? Resentment, Self-Abandonment, and Good Girl Conditioning

    In this episode, Alissa gets into what it’s like to be the one who holds it all together. Your always the listener and the bigger person for everyone else. She names the anger, the resentment, and the physical toll of keeping yourself small, and offers a way out that starts with what you can actually take ownership of. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why being the one who always holds it together isn't good for you or your healthWhat good girl conditioning is and how it teaches you to keep your needs smallWhat you may be gaining from an unhealthy dynamic, including safety, approval, and avoiding conflictHow accepting someone’s limitations gives you information for reimagining the relationship, not an excuse for how they treat youWhy a boundary that gets ignored hasn’t failed, and what holding it again looks likeHow to stay rooted when the second guessing and pushback show upWhy creating opportunities to be vulnerable is part of finally feeling heard Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  2. Oct 13

    265. You Are A Match for Your Mountain: Finding the divine lessons in life's greatest challenges w/ Jeminee Ternus, Author

    In this episode, Alissa sits down with Jeminee Ternus, author of You Are a Match for Your Mountain and fellow mom to a daughter with type 1 diabetes, to talk about what it means to meet a hard diagnosis with acceptance instead of a fight. When life hands you a mountain you never asked for, it can feel like betrayal. This conversation offers a gentler way through, one where grief and gratitude get to sit at the same table. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why the number on a glucose monitor is information about a body and not a grade on your motheringWhat it feels like when life splits into a clear before and after, and how grief and trust in the bigger plan can live side by sideHow shifting from fighting a diagnosis to fighting with it turned chaos into a more peaceful way of livingWhy the fun mom and the health mom turned out to be two parts of the same personHow a highly sensitive mom can feel her own grief without letting it land on her childWhy allowing the people you love the dignity of their own experience is its own form of love Connect with Jeminee: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jemified_/ Book: https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Match-Your-Mountain/dp/B0CPPG2MF8?th=1&psc=1 Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  3. Oct 6

    264. Big Feelings, Big Joy: Why Your Capacity for Pain Is Also Your Capacity for Joy w/ April Snow, HSP Author & Therapist

    In this episode, Alissa welcomes April Snow back to the podcast to celebrate her new book, Big Feelings, Big Joy, and to talk about why having everyday language for being highly sensitive makes it something you can own instead of explain away. Sensitive people are often told they're fragile. April and Alissa share the research and the lived experience that say otherwise. Alissa and April trade personal stories, from feeling different as kids to writing books during some of the hardest seasons of their lives, along with the small daily practices that keep them steady. Sensitivity isn't fragility, it's the capacity to feel the hard and the good at full volume and grow stronger from both. In this episode, you'll learn: What April's signature acronym, ORCHID, stands for Why differential susceptibility is an HSPs greatest gift. How a nervous system that moves in and out of different states is healthy, and why stretching toward what's meaningful expands your capacityWhat tiny pockets of transition time and fewer daily decisions can do for your overwhelmHow savoring good moments became a life raft in April's childhood and still carries her through hard seasonsWhy joy and grief can be held at the same time, and how connecting to something bigger than yourself makes that possible Connect with April: https://www.sensitivestrengths.com https://www.instagram.com/sensitivestrengths Big Feelings, Big Joy: https://www.bigfeelingsbigjoy.com/book Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  4. Sep 29

    263. Carrying Yourself Like An Equal Even When You're Around Intimidating Or Successful People

    In this episode, Alissa gets into what happens when a rejection lands from someone you admire and why choosing to see yourself as an equal, instead of putting them on a pedestal, is the first step toward becoming a match for what you desire. She shares what she's been noticing in her own season of rejection while her publisher sends her book out for endorsements, plus a look back at her early corporate retail days, when intimidating colleagues made her feel small. When you develop your self-worth, you stop waiting for external permission, and instead start to create the life you want from your own belief in the inevitability of your success. In this episode, you'll learn: Why a "no" from someone you admire can feel like proof you're not good enough, and how to catch that story before you agree with itHow putting someone on a pedestal quietly distances you from the very reality you want for yourselfWhat it looks like to meet a rejection with curiosity and self-belief instead of treating it as a verdict on your worthWhy carrying yourself as an equal is a choice you can make before you have any accolades to stand onHow the deeper work of building self-worth makes that choice easier to access when the moment actually arrivesHow highly sensitive people can be deeply attuned and kind while still holding rock solid boundaries in rooms that feel intimidating Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  5. Sep 22

    262. How my client found a deeper connection with her husband (by making it less about her)

    In this episode, Alissa gets into what it really means to get out of your own way. She talks about a habit so many highly sensitive people fall into without realizing it, which is scanning everyone else's moods to feel okay. So much of the checking and managing is really an attempt to get someone else to respond in a way that settles your own nerves. Alissa names where that pattern comes from and what it takes to stop outsourcing your sense of safety to the people around you. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the constant checking is often more about easing your own anxietyHow your natural attunement can tip into hyper-vigilance when you're anxious in a relationshipWhat cleaning up your side of the street looks like when you're caught in a dynamic you don't loveWhy getting out of your own way frees you to focus on the message you came to share instead of how you're coming acrossHow showing up anyway, even when you might be judged, slowly desensitizes you to the fear of being dislikedWhy sourcing your worth from within means an awkward moment costs you about thirty seconds instead of three days Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  6. Sep 15

    261. "I Can Survive Being Disliked" (And So Can You): The Good Girl Conditioning Episode

    In this episode, Alissa revists the topic of good girl conditioning and why so many highly sensitive women build an entire identity around being the responsible one, the kind one, the person who never rocks the boat. She looks at what happens when agreeableness stops being a natural expression of your sensitivity and starts becoming a way of abandoning yourself to keep everyone else comfortable. The traits themselves are often innate, but the problem is when they are expressed at the cost of self-abandonment. Alissa names the fear sitting underneath it all: the fear of shining too brightly and being disliked for it. Through her own story of a work friendship that went cold the moment she got promoted, and the clients she has watched give themselves permission to take up space, she walks through what it looks like to expand your tolerance for discomfort and stop managing everyone else's reaction to you. In this episode, you'll learn: Why being the responsible, easygoing one can quietly turn into abandoning your own needsHow the fear of shining too brightly keeps so many highly sensitive women playing smallWhat it means that other people benefit from you never setting a boundary or speaking upWhy stepping out of the good girl identity almost always brings pushback, and how to be okay with thatHow to hold the guilt of someone being upset and still trust that you did the right thingWhy giving people the dignity of their own reactions frees you from carrying everyone Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  7. Sep 8

    260. Am I Overreacting, or Do I Actually Need a Boundary? An HSP Guide to Trusting Your Own Reaction

    In this episode, Alissa tackles a question she hears constantly. "How do you know if you're actually allowed to be upset, or if you're just being too sensitive?" If you've ever replayed a conversation for days, questioned your own reaction, or wondered if you made something out of nothing, this one's for you. Alissa traces that self-doubt back to where it actually started, and what it takes to fully trust yourself even when someone else insists you're overreacting. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the question "am I overreacting or do I have a right to be upset" usually points to a deeper lack of self-trustWhy the people who dismissed your reactions were often responding from their own depletionWhat writing out your personal values and boundaries does for you in the middle of a triggering momentHow to recognize when a reaction is bigger than the situation because it's hitting an old woundWhy "cleaning up your side of the street" comes before deciding whether a boundary conversation is necessary Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  8. Sep 1

    259. How to Stop Feeling Like a Pushover in Conflict and Stand Firm When You Feel Wronged

    In this episode, Alissa gets into why the instinct to smooth things over the second someone reacts to your boundary is actually a form of people pleasing, and why building your tolerance for that discomfort is the first step toward feeling unbotherable. Alissa traces this back to the fear of abandonment underneath it, whether that shows up as a partner flipping the story back on you or a family member waving off a hurtful comment as a joke. She shows how the pattern gets reinforced every time it's smoothed over instead of named, and why noticing what's actually driving the rush to resolution is what starts to shift the pattern. Alissa shares what it actually looks like to sit in the discomfort of a boundary instead of collapsing it, so you can source your safety and self-respect from within instead of from someone else's reaction. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the urge to smooth things over the moment your boundary lands is people pleasingHow to recognize when you're rushing to resolution out of a fear of abandonment rather than genuine repairWhy letting someone avoid the consequences of their own behavior quietly teaches them how to treat youHow trusting what your body is telling you becomes more reliable than the story someone else is offering in the momentWhy pushback from someone who's benefited from your smallness is a sign you're doing this right, not a sign you did something wrong Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Have you been told you're "too sensitive" or "too emotional"? Do you often feel drained by other people? Are you moved to tears easily? If so... you just may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Join host and HSP Mentor, Alissa Boyer, as she breaks the stigma of sensitivity and teaches you how to embrace your sensitivity as a gift. Here, you'll always be welcomed exactly as you are. New episodes every Tuesday!

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