Not Too Sensitive - Empowering Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) To Own Their Sensitivity

Alissa Boyer
  • 4.9 (148)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Have you been told you're "too sensitive" or "too emotional"? Do you often feel drained by other people? Are you moved to tears easily? If so... you just may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Join host and HSP Mentor, Alissa Boyer, as she breaks the stigma of sensitivity and teaches you how to embrace your sensitivity as a gift. Here, you'll always be welcomed exactly as you are. New episodes every Tuesday!

  1. 6d ago

    246. How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden and Allow Yourself to "Inconvenience" Others

    In this solo episode, Alissa explores one of the most deeply ingrained patterns she sees in highly sensitive people: the belief that having needs makes you a burden. For HSPs, this is a story that gets built early, when your emotional reactions were “too big”, when your needs felt different from everyone else's, and when the people around you responded with frustration instead of understanding. That story then follows you into adulthood, into relationships, and even into restaurants where you over-apologize to the waitress for ordering plain chicken. You’ll Learn: Why HSPs are especially vulnerable to good girl conditioning and how it shows up in relationships, work, and healthWays you may be getting something out of being the over-apologizing, people pleaser that ends up keeping you stuck. How your triggers in moments of self-advocacy are actually your best opportunities to build self-worthWhat it means to expand your tolerance for discomfort so other people's reactions stop running the showWhy letting people help you, and asking for what you need, is a signal of openness, not weakness Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    26 min

  2. May 26

    245. Why Everything You've Been Through Was Preparing You for This

    In this solo episode, Alissa shares a deeply personal update about her daughter's new celiac disease diagnosis and what it revealed about the way life equips you long before you understand why. Years of navigating her own severe digestive issues, strict diets, and the emotional weight of feeling different gave Alissa a toolkit she never expected to need for her child. She connects that thread to the broader truth about how sensitivity, struggle, and the discomfort of being "too much" are never wasted. You’ll Learn: The difference between riding the wave of hard emotions and getting stuck in "why is this happening to me" energyHow confidence is built through withstanding discomfort A Not Too Sensitive Club member's story of staying steady in the face of someone else's judgmentThe shift from living as the effect of your environment to sourcing your own steadiness: Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    20 min

  3. May 19

    244. My Daughter's Diagnosis + The Spiritual Reframe That Will Change How You See Hardship

    Alissa opens up about the very challenging season of life her and her family have recently been thrust into. Her three year old daughter Blaine was suddenly diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, and navigating it has revealed so much about the power of sensitivity, the discipline of steadiness, and the choice to see growth inside the pain. In this episode: How Alissa's sensitivity helped her catch her daughter's diabetes earlyThe practice of being steady and grounded for your child while separately making space to feel everything, cry, and lean on people who can hold itWhy the adjustment period after a life disruption often means you stop caring for yourself first, and how to return to yourself.The shift from "this isn't fair" to "I was given this because I can carry it."How Alissa's faith has been an anchor for her through this experience.The Not Too Sensitive Club protocol reframes challenges as expansions. Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    28 min

  4. May 12

    243. Throwback: The Overfunctioning Empath (How To Stop Feeling Overly Responsible for Everyone Else) w/ Matt Landsiedel

    This episode is one of the most downloaded episodes of the podcast, and for good reason! Alissa chats with Matt Landsiedel about the pattern so many empaths know but rarely name: feeling overly responsible for everyone else's energy, emotions, and well-being. Together they unpack the deeper reasons HSPs fall into overfunctioning, where empathy ends and codependency begins, and what it looks like to stop rushing in to save everyone around you. If you missed this one the first time or need the reminder, this is your sign to press play. You'll Learn: Why empaths often carry a sense of responsibility that was never theirs to holdThe subtle difference between deeply feeling someone's pain and making it your job to fix itWhat overfunctioning actually looks like in everyday relationshipsPractical ways to pause before stepping into the "rescuer" role Connect with Matt: IG: @inspiredtobeauthentic Youtube: Inspired to Be Authentic Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    46 min

  5. May 5

    242. Social Anxiety, Self-Worth, and the Real Reason You Overthink Every Conversation w/ Claire Eastham

    This week, Alissa sits down with social anxiety coach and author Claire Eastham to unpack where that fear really comes from and what it takes to stop performing your way through every interaction. Claire shares how years of masking and people-pleasing led to a nervous breakdown, and how embracing the very traits she'd been told were "too much" became the turning point. Together they explore why sensitive, empathic people are especially prone to over-scripting social situations and why the goal was never to stop feeling uncomfortable. This conversation is equal parts honest and light, full of personal stories, practical strategies, and the kind of permission-giving reframes that change how you show up. The real shift isn't becoming someone who doesn't get anxious. It's becoming someone who doesn't need to hide it. In this episode: Why social anxiety develops from early experiences of being told you're "not okay" the way you are, and how the brain starts treating social situations as threatsThe two patterns people fall into: total avoidance or over-preparing and scripting every interaction, and why neither leads to real connectionHow naming your anxiety out loud in the moment can cut it in half and why the shame of being "found out" is often worse than the anxiety itselfClaire's approach to gradual exposure with a specific goal, broken into small steps, paired with genuine rewardsThe power of replacing small talk with real questions and why curiosity is a better social strategy than performanceWhy the most magnetic version of you isn't a polished persona but the one who's actually comfortable being themselves Connect with Claire: Website: https://substack.com/@thatsocialanxietycoach?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5bv5ps Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/claireeasthamuk/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wereallmadhere00 My new book 'Party with Panic: How to Conquer Panix Attacks (for good)' Is available to pre-order now and will be published on 11th May. For every copy sold I will donate 50p to the charity MQ . https://amzn.eu/d/06xOHhPO Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    48 min

  6. Apr 28

    241. Was I Enough? How To Stop Ruminating After Social Situations

    In this epsidoe, Alissa explores the post-social spiral that so many highly sensitive people get trapped in, and the surprisingly simple tool she uses to stop it in its tracks. Alissa shares two recent experiences of her own, one at a casual social gathering where she felt quieter than usual, and one at a networking event that pushed her way outside her comfort zone. She also pulls from a live coaching call inside the Not Too Sensitive Club, where a member shared her own version of this breakthrough that stopped the spiral. What you'll hear in this episode: Why the post-social replay isn't a sign you did something wrong: it's a self-protective pattern rooted in past experiences of rejection or judgmentHow Alissa mentally files a worry away and commits to not reopening itThe difference between recognizing something you'd do differently next time and punishing yourself for how you showed upWhy sensitive people often feel pressure to be "on" in every interaction, and what shifts when you stop trying to manage how others perceive you Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    25 min

  7. Apr 21

    240. You Might Be in an Identity Crisis and Not Even Know It

    Drawing from a recent coaching conversation inside the Not Too Sensitive Club, Alissa walks through the pattern so many highly sensitive women fall into: outsourcing their sense of self to how others respond to them. When that source gets disrupted (e.g., a boundary gets pushback, a workplace stops reflecting your value) it can feel like an identity crisis. Alissa explores what happens when the external validation you've relied on disappears, and why that unraveling is actually the beginning of something more solid. Because the real work isn't getting people to see you differently. It's learning to source your steadiness from within so that outside opinions stop running your life. What you'll hear in this episode: How being the responsible, accommodating, always-available person becomes the thing you can't separate yourself fromWhy life sometimes removes your external sources of worth, and what the growth opportunity actually looks like when it doesThe inner critic that shows up when you try something new…what it sounds like and how to respond without crumblingBeing okay with someone having the wrong idea about you (the skill most sensitive people were never taught)The difference between needing people to see you a certain way and deciding for yourself who you are Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    25 min

  8. Apr 14

    239. Coddling Keeps You Comfortable. A Higher Standard Sets You Free

    In this solo episode, Alissa explores the difference between people who tell you what you want to hear and the ones who love you enough to tell you the truth. Because validation feels good, but it can also keep you stuck. Alissa makes the case for honest, loving challenge as one of the most underrated forms of care, and reflects on what changes when you finally have people in your corner who won't let you stay small. In this episode, you'll learn: Why saying what someone wants to hear isn't kindness. It's just comfort in disguise.How a blunt comment from her husband stung, landed, and lit a fire that changed everything.Relating to your struggle and helping you actually move through it are two very different things.What it looks like to hold space AND hold people to a higher standard at the same time.The relationship audit: do you actually have people in your life who will lovingly call you out? Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple PodcastsEmail a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    19 min
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About

Have you been told you're "too sensitive" or "too emotional"? Do you often feel drained by other people? Are you moved to tears easily? If so... you just may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Join host and HSP Mentor, Alissa Boyer, as she breaks the stigma of sensitivity and teaches you how to embrace your sensitivity as a gift. Here, you'll always be welcomed exactly as you are. New episodes every Tuesday!

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