Divorce Cyberstalking: What to Do If You Think Your Ex Is Watching You Online Divorce Crash Course: Don’t make expensive divorce mistakes. Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest legal, financial, emotional, and co-parenting mistakes people make during divorce — and how to avoid them. Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. Start the course here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Cyberstalking during divorce can make you feel unsafe, paranoid, unsteady, and completely overwhelmed. But here’s the thing: sometimes what feels “crazy” is actually a real digital safety issue. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill are joined by Steven Bradley, a former FBI task force leader, cybersecurity expert, domestic violence specialist, and cyberstalking educator, to talk about what to do if you think your ex is watching, tracking, monitoring, or digitally harassing you during divorce. And yes — this episode is scary. But more importantly, it is actionable. Steven explains that cyberstalking is often easier than people realize because many exes already know your passwords, security question answers, shared devices, family routines, Wi-Fi setup, smart home devices, and personal information. Cyberstalking is not always some dramatic hacker-in-a-hoodie situation. Sometimes it is access to your Amazon Alexa, Ring doorbell, Nest thermostat, pet camera, cloud account, location sharing, shared passwords, or old devices. In other words: your ex may not need to “hack” you if they already have access. Terrifying? Yes. Useful to know? Also yes. In this episode, we cover:How cyberstalking can show up during divorceWhy many people dismiss early warning signs as “coincidences”How smart home devices can be used to monitor or harass someoneWhy shared passwords and security questions are a major riskWhat to do if you think your ex has access to your phone, email, cloud, or devicesWhy you should not delete suspicious messages or evidenceHow to create a timeline of cyberstalking concernsWhen to tell your divorce attorneyWhy co-parenting apps can help protect communicationHow VPNs, multi-factor authentication, and anti-malware tools can helpWhy public Wi-Fi can be riskyWhat parents should know about children’s apps, gaming, and DiscordWhy taking action can lower paranoia and help you feel safer First signs of cyberstalking during divorceCyberstalking can start small. You may notice: strange text messagesanonymous calls or emailsyour ex showing up where you aresmart home devices acting strangelylights, thermostats, or cameras changing unexpectedlyunfamiliar apps on your phonelogin alertsodd account activitysomeone seeming to know things they should not know Steven explains that many offenders start with small behaviors and escalate when they feel they can get away with it. That is why it is important not to dismiss everything as coincidence, especially during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle. What to do if you think you are being cyberstalkedSteven’s first action step is simple: Do not delete anything. Preserve texts, emails, screenshots, suspicious messages, device alerts, app changes, login warnings, and anything that feels off. Create a timeline. Write down what happened, when it happened, where you were, and what evidence you have. Digital evidence can be time-sensitive, and some data may disappear or overwrite itself. The sooner you document, the better. Tell your divorce attorney earlyIf you believe you may be dealing with cyberstalking, do not wait until it becomes unbearable. Tell your attorney. Morgan explains that divorce lawyers may need outside experts to help connect the dots, preserve evidence, and explain what is happening in a way the court can understand. Cyberstalking can be technical, and many attorneys and judges are not cybersecurity experts. This is not about panicking. It is about protecting yourself, documenting what is happening, and getting the right people involved early. Secure your digital lifeSteven recommends assuming your passwords may be compromised and taking steps to secure your digital life. That may include: changing passwordschanging security questionsturning on multi-factor authenticationreviewing location sharingchecking Life360, Find My, Snap Maps, and similar appsauditing old accountsclosing accounts you no longer useusing anti-malware tools on phones and computersavoiding public Wi-Fi when possibleusing a reputable VPNchecking shared smart home devicesreviewing cloud accessremoving your ex from shared accounts and devices And yes, this includes the things people forget about: Alexa, pet cameras, thermostats, doorbells, old apps, children’s devices, shared family accounts, and even old platforms you forgot existed. Friendster, we are looking at you. Why co-parenting apps matterIf communication with your ex feels unsafe, chaotic, manipulative, or digitally risky, this may be a time to talk to your attorney about using a court-monitored co-parenting app. In this episode, Steven and Morgan discuss how a co-parenting app like Our Family Wizard can help keep communication contained, documented, and harder to manipulate. If you are concerned about cyberstalking or digital harassment, talk to your attorney about whether requesting a co-parenting app makes sense in your case. Our Family Wizard: www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20 How Not to Suck at Divorce listeners can save 20% off the Essentials package for the first year through our relationship with Our Family Wizard. The biggest takeawayTechnology is not the problem. Stalking, control, and harassment have existed forever. Technology just makes it easier. The goal is not to become paranoid. The goal is to become aware, document what is happening, and take action early. As Andrea says in this episode, doing nothing is often the part that makes you feel crazier. Taking action — documenting, telling your attorney, changing passwords, securing accounts, using a co-parenting app, and asking for help — can help you feel safer and more grounded. If something feels off, do not ignore it. Document it. Tell your attorney. Secure your devices. Get help early. You’ve got this. And we’ve got you. Connect with Steven BradleySteven Bradley is a former FBI task force leader, cybersecurity expert, domestic violence specialist, and cyberstalking educator. sbradley@ourfamilywizard.com Join The How Not to Suck at Divorce CommunityNeed more support during divorce? Join our free private Facebook community for real conversations, support, and guidance from people who understand what you are going through. How Not to Suck at Divorce Community Listen to How Not to Suck at DivorceWebsite: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/ Podcast: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast Divorce Crash Course: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course SEO Keywordsdivorce cyberstalking, cyberstalking during divorce, cyberstalking ex, online stalking during divorce, digital safety during divorce, divorce cybersecurity, ex tracking me during divorce, smart home devices divorce, co-parenting app, Our Family Wizard, divorce safety, high conflict divorce, divorce attorney advice, digital harassment divorce, cyber abuse divorce, online harassment divorce, divorce podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport, Morgan Stogsdill, Steven Bradley Mentioned in this episode: Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts...
