The Selfish Woman

Valerie Jones
  • 4.9 (29)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Selfish is the key that unlocks the dungeon. This is feminism for the woman who's been in the trenches of life for decades. The kind that comes from surviving marriages, rebuilds, and decades of following rules that were never heard. The confession booth for women who are done being good. Ranked #23 in Feedspot's Top 80 Badass Female Podcasts of 2026

  1. Jun 10

    The Selfish Sex Revolution with Susan Bratton

    What if the same conditioning that teaches women to abandon themselves in life is also showing up in the bedroom?  In this fascinating and often hilarious conversation, Valerie sits down with intimacy expert Susan Bratton to explore what happens when women reclaim their desire, their pleasure, and their right to experience the full spectrum of who they are.  Together, they unpack the impact of cultural conditioning on intimacy, why so many couples struggle to talk openly about sex, and how creating a thriving intimate relationship has less to do with performance and more to do with curiosity, communication, and connection.  Susan shares surprising insights on everything from libido difference and orgasmic potential to the male loneliness epidemic, erotic play, and why great sex can continue to evolve throughout our lives.  Whether you're single, partnered, divorced, dating, or simply curious about your own relationship with desire, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on intimacy, pleasure, and what it means to come fully alive.  In This Episode:  The hidden impact of cultural conditioning on men and women in the bedroom  Why living as your full self transforms intimacy  The intimacy gap many people aren't discussing  Orgasmic cross-training and expanding your pleasure potential  Practical ways to get your partner engaged in the conversation  Why orgasms are the fountain of youth!  About Susan Bratton  Susan Bratton is a leading advocate for passionate relationships and lifelong intimacy. She is known for helping people create deeper connection, greater pleasure, and more fulfilling relationships through practical, approachable education about intimacy and sexual wellness.  Connect with Susan Please subscribe to the podcast, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend.

    46 min

  2. May 14

    How To End A Marriage Without Going To War: With Kate Daly of amicable

    Nobody teaches women how to leave.  You get handed a lawyer's number, a horror story from a friend, and the quiet impication that if your marriage ended...somethig must have gone wrong.  But what if divorce didn't have to become a bloodbath to be real?  In this episode, Valerie sits down with Kate Daly, co-founder of Amicable, to talk about the divorce conversation almost nobody is having:  How to end a marriage without destroying yourself in the process.  This conversation is practial, honest, emotional, and surprisingly hopeful. Especially for women trying to navigate the impossible tension between choosing themelves and carrying everyone else's emotions too.  Whether you're considering divorce, in the middle of one, or rebuilding after it, this episode witill change the way you think about what's possible.  IN THIS EPISODE:   How to have the conversation without it becoming emotional warfare  What to do before lawyers get involved, and why it matters  The mistake women make when managing their partner's emotions  What 'amicable' actually means (and why it's not weakness) The two things that truly impact kids during divorce  How to co-parent without losing yourself  The new rules for communicating with your ex  Why divorce may not be the end of your life, but the beginning of finally living it.  THE SELFISH WOMAN TAKE:  Most women spend years managing the marriage long before they ever leave it. Managing moods. Managing tension. Managing disappointment. Managing themselves. This episode is about another way. Not perfect or painless, but conscious, clear, and far less desructive than the story we've been sold about what divorce has to look like.  Go to Amicable for free resources

    52 min

  3. Apr 14

    'Reinvention' is B******t: Episode 134

    The Confession Booth is open!  I'm calling BS on the 'reinvention trend'....one that I was fully participating in for the last few years.  Nobody reinvents themselves on purpose. Not the way the industry sells it. Real change doesn't start with a plan, it starts with one thought that won't let you go:  I want something different.  In this episode, I'm dismantling the whole reinvention myth, and replacing it with something that actually works.  It's a confession, a rallying cry, and the most extravagant permission slip I've ever handed out.  You'll hear:  The reinvention lie  Why your perspective is supposed to shift as you grow  What real change looks and feels like, and why there's no parade for it  The one sentence that starts everything  Why 'terrixciting' is the most honest word for where you are right now    Resources mentioned:  The Selfish Year The Phoenix  The Quiz: why you keep holding yourself back  Book a call with me!

    30 min

  4. Mar 23

    Stress Is Not The Problem...This Is: With Dr. Rachel Goldman

    We've all been there: a plan falls apart, a deadline shifts, or a minor inconvenience feels like the end of the world. Or, we spend way too much of our time and energy worrying about 'what if.' We usually blame the situation for how we feel, but today's guest says the 'problem' isn't what's happening - it's how we're wired to react to it.  I'm joined by Dr. Rachel Goldman, a clinical psychologist, NYU professor, and a leading expert in the mind-body connection who has shared her insights alongside icons like Oprah and Mel Robbins.  Ahead of the April launch of her highly anticipated book, "When Life Happens," Dr. Rachel breaks down the science of CBT and explains why we need to stop trying to 'delete' stress and start building a Coping Toolbox.  This episode is a survival guide for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the weight of 'doing it all' and is ready to reclaim their peace of mind.  What We Discuss:  The Stress Reframe: Why stress is inevitable, but our physiological and mental reaction to it is a choice.  The "All or Nothing" Trap: How to break the cycle of perfectionism when things go sideways.  Building Your Coping Toolbox: Specific strategies to regulate your emotions in real time.  Mindset as a Skill: Why resilience isn't a personality trait - it's a strategy you can train.  When Life Happens: A deep dive into the mindset shifts needed to navigate life's messiest moments.  Resources & Links:  Pre-Order the Book  Follow Dr. Rachel  Subscribe to The Selfish Woman Podcast on Spotify  Subscribe to The Selfish Woman Podcast on Apple

    42 min

  5. Mar 16

    The Wrong Life: Ep. 130

    I left Spain to figure out what was wrong with me.  I had the dream life. The cobblestone streets. The European light. The copper bathtub imported from England that cost eleven thousand euros.  And I was miserable in ways I didn't have words for yet.  So I left. Convinced I was the problem.  I was wrong.  In this episode I'm recording from Harrison Hot Springs - sitting in a mineral pool, in the middle of a meditation that turned into a download - and I finally understand what I was actually running from. And why leaving was the most sane thing I ever did.  This is the episode for the woman who has spent years trying to fix herself. The woman who has read the books, done the work, followed the rules - and still feels like something is fundamentally broken.  Nothing is broken.  But something is wrong.  And until you figure out what that is, you will keep building beautiful lives on foundations that cannot hold you.  This is where we start.  Join The Phoenix  Get the book

    26 min

  6. Mar 2

    You Didn't End Up Here by Accident: Numerology, Patterns & Your Life Path with Ann Perry

    What if your life isn't random?  In this episode, I sit down with numerologist Ann Perry to break down what your numbers reveal about you, and how they shape your relationships, your patterns, and the way you move through the world.  We also dive into:  What if your soul chose this life?  What if the challenges you've faced weren't random...but selected?  And how do you hold that idea without dismissing real pain or turning it into toxic positivity?    What You'll Learn:  What numerology is, and why it works  How your numbers influence your identity and decision-making  Why you keep repeating the sane relationship dynamics  How to better understand your kids, partner and coworkers  The controversial idea that your soul chose this life (and what that really means)  How to stop overthinking and start trusting yourself  Links:  Ann Perry's website: https://www.annperrynumerologist.com   Ann's book: https://amzn.to/4icbFsq   Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/nwkCP4v_atI?si=QjWGaBPy7zNER2jy     And if you're ready to stop overthinking and step over the edge and into your next level.... Join The Phoenix: subscribepage.io/4M2VOU

    33 min

  7. Feb 23

    Why You Keep Overthinking (And What You're Actually Avoiding)

    Why do you keep overthinking decisions when you already know what to do?  In this episode I break down why overthinking isn't a clarity problem, it's a self-trust problem - and what you're actually avoiding.  What you'll learn:  Why you say "I don't know" (and what it really means)  The hidden reason you stay stuck in indecision  How overthinking protects you from uncomfortable truth  The identity shift that changes everything  One simple question to stop overthinking immediately  Key moment from the episode:  "You don't say 'I don't know' because you're confused. You say it because the truth would cost you something."  If you're ready to stop overthinking and actually move forward, this is exactly what we do inside The Breakthrough.  Email me:  valerie@valeriejonescoach.com and tell me the one thing you want a breakthrough in.  Leave a review on Spotify  Leave a review on Apple  Subscribe to the show!  Watch on YouTube  Get my book

    21 min

  8. Feb 15

    From Netflix's 'Sex, Love & goop' to Erotic Wholeness: Darshana Avila on Asking For What You Want

    Darshana Avila left her corporate career and her marriage, and stepped into a life of erotic wholeness.  Now she's a Certified Somatic Experiencing Practitioner & Sexological Bodyworker featured on Netflix's Sex, Love & goop with Gwyneth Paltrow - and she's here to talk about what most of us are too afraid to ask for.  In this episode, we talk about:  Knowing what you want (in sex and in life) and actually asking for it: Why high-achieving women can run companies but can't speak their desires in bed.  The identity crisis that led to liberation: How Darshana walked away from everything that wasn't aligned - and what happened next.  Her experience on Netflix's Sex, Love & goop: Working with a lesbian couple to help them understand what they want, need, and hw to speak it out loud.  Erotic wholeness as a path to power: How reclaiing pleasure is an act of rebellion (and sovereignty)  People-pleasing in the bedroom (and eveywhere else): Why saying yes when you mean no kills intimacy, and how to stop.  This conversation is raw, real and permission-giving. If you've ever felt disconnected from your body, your desires, or your power, this one's for you.  Connect with Darshana:  Website Want more? Subscribe to The Selfish Woman Podcast (ranked top 3% globally) for weekly conversations about identity, power and building empires on your terms.  New episodes every Monday. Named Feedspots #23 in the Top 80 Best Badass Female Podcasts of 2026  Take the Reveal Your Mask Quiz  Please leave a review! It help more women find us.

    52 min
See All (144)

4.9
out of 5
29 Ratings

About

Selfish is the key that unlocks the dungeon. This is feminism for the woman who's been in the trenches of life for decades. The kind that comes from surviving marriages, rebuilds, and decades of following rules that were never heard. The confession booth for women who are done being good. Ranked #23 in Feedspot's Top 80 Badass Female Podcasts of 2026

Information

  • Creator
    Valerie Jones
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    144
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Show Website
    The Selfish Woman

You Might Also Like