In this episode, I dig into something I cannot believe I haven't talked about yet in almost three years of doing this podcast: the self-concept. It's the story we carry about who we are, and for most of us with ADHD, that story was written by other people; teachers, parents, caregivers and it's usually pretty negative. I talk about how to start rewriting it using the identity triad from Siri Solden's work: your core sense of self, your feelings about your brain, and your relationship with the world. I also get into the four kinds of destructive messages; you messages, they messages, duh messages, and absorbed messages that built the self-concept we're carrying around, and why this work is joyful, lifelong, and something you get to own as an adult. For ad-free episodes out a day early, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Thursday - support Jen by subscribing to Patreon at just $7.99/mo or get 15% off if you pay annually. You'll get to suggest episode ideas as well! Join Jen's New Co-Work Community online! I started something called ☕️The Co-Work Community. It's an online co-working (aka body doubling) space & community for neurodivergent humans! There are other online co-working spaces but where else can you do your work, tasks, or chores with other neurodivergent people and ME, every single day for ONLY $15 a month? Answer? Nowhere! You'll help yourself AND you're supporting a neurodivergent solopreneur woman-owned start-up business. Shop Jen's Favorite ADHD Supports (with Discounts) Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in. It's not AI, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made by musicians and scientists for ADHD brains. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! Little Ouchies - Self Regulation Stim Tools! I LOVE my Little Ouchies. I use them daily when I'm working, writing, thinking, and it really helps me to stay in the moment by regulating my nervous system. I tend to ruminate with Imposter Syndrome when I'm in deep work. It's also just fun and feels good, so even watching TV or other mindless activities are made more stimulating by rolling one in my hands. Get 10% off with this link and use ALOT10 at checkout! Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports your local independent bookstore, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires). The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! I use my Time Timer every single day to help me visualize time during work blocks, and to gamify chores. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast. The Big A## Calendar I have the Big A## wall calendar that maps out the entire year and the Big A## personal planner with 365 days in one view, dry erase markers, color coded labels. With my unique link you can get 10% off of your order. Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods Appointed notebooks are my go-to for my spiral notebooks, day planners, calendars and Le Pen pens for list-making, journaling, and planning. Save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. Bearaby - Weighted Blankets, Warmables, Stress Pillows I LOVE my Bearaby cooling weighted blankets, the weighted and warmable lap lounger, I need their products daily to regulate and relax. Their products are built to calm the body down and support a. natural sleep cycle. UnHide - Weighted Faux Fur Blankets, Pillows, Plush Home Goods I LOVE my UnHide faux fur weighted blankets, my squish pillows and my backrest that is always on my bed for my sitting up in bed working days. Get 20% off everything with my link and JENNIFER at checkout. Sources For This Episode A Radical Guide For Women With ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle Frank
