Better Than Perfect | A Relationship Podcast

Nicole and John Sonmez
  • 4.4 (24)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Each week, we show how two imperfect people helping each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship.

  1. 5D AGO

    Should Your Partner Be Your Best Friend, Lover AND Emotional Support? [Ep 116]

    Can one person really be your best friend, your lover, AND your primary source of emotional support? Or is that an unrealistic burden? In this episode, John and Nicole dive deep into one of the most important relationship questions of our time. With social circles shrinking and family support systems changing, more pressure than ever falls on romantic partners to fulfill multiple roles. What We Cover: Realistic expectations vs. settling for lessHow modern life shifted emotional labor onto partnersThe danger of making your partner your only source of supportWhen leaning on your partner becomes codependencyBuilding a support network that strengthens your relationshipEmotional intimacy vs. friendship intimacyIndependence and partnership balanceRed flags: expecting too much from one personThe what do you need from me conversationBuilding expectations that strengthen relationshipsConnect With Us: Email: betterthanperfectpodcast@gmail.com Web: betterthanperfectpod.com YouTube: youtube.com/@BetterThanPerfectPodcast New episodes every Friday at 7am PST!

    51 min

  2. FEB 6

    How To Handle Grief In Your Relationship Without Falling Apart [Ep 115]

    What happens when grief hits your relationship? Every single one of us will face it — but how you handle it as a couple can either bring you closer together or tear you apart. In this episode, John and Nicole get brutally honest about navigating grief while in a relationship. From losing parents to watching your partner struggle, they break down the uncomfortable truths nobody talks about — including why your grief isn't a free pass to treat people badly, and why shutting your partner out actually hurts more than letting them in. 🎯 What We Cover: Why grief hits differently when you're in a relationship vs. singleHow to support your partner without forcing them to grieve "your way"The balance between giving space and being presentWhat to do when your partner shuts down after a lossProcessing slow loss (like a parent with Parkinson's) vs. sudden deathWhy refusing to share grief deprives your partner of the chance to show up for youCreating a "new normal" after loss⏱️ Timestamps: 0:00 - Preview: Your parents are going to die 0:41 - Episode intro 1:17 - Today's topic: Grief in a relationship 2:18 - Personal experience with loss 3:20 - Balancing support without forcing conversation 5:45 - TV show parallel: His and Her on Netflix 7:15 - When grief leads to isolation 9:22 - Why does grief affect people so differently? 10:37 - Being there without smothering 13:34 - We're all going to experience loss 16:24 - Grieving divorce and a parent's Parkinson's 17:36 - Slow loss vs. sudden death 20:00 - Dealing with potential loss and mortality 25:10 - The importance of preemptive acceptance 30:00 - "Dead before they're dead" mentality 33:11 - Pre-grieving the inevitable 34:35 - Appreciating life and living for those we've lost 35:50 - Creating a "new normal" 38:39 - You owe your partner honest communication about grief 42:05 - Grief beyond death: grieving changes in yourself 45:03 - "It hurts more when you DON'T come to me" 48:05 - Accepting your new normal together 50:32 - Wrap up 📬 Connect With Us: 📧 betterthanperfectpodcast@gmail.com 🌐 betterthanperfectpod.com 📺 Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@BetterThanPerfectPodcast New episodes every Friday at 7am PST! 🔔

    52 min

  3. JAN 31

    How To Handle Hurt Without Ruining Your Relationship [Ep 114]

    What do you do when your partner hurts you? Do you lash out? Shut down? Pretend it didn't happen? In this episode, John and Nicole dive deep into what happens when we get hurt in relationships—and why most of us handle it completely wrong.The truth is, you're probably extending your own suffering way longer than necessary. That initial hurt? It only lasts 60-90 seconds. Everything after that is what YOU add to it.In this episode:• Why taking things personally is destroying your peace• The difference between malice and ignorance (and why it matters)• How to process emotions instead of expressing OR suppressing them• Why doing hard things makes you emotionally bulletproof• The one question that instantly shifts your perspective in conflictPlus, a real example from our own relationship where John dropped the ball—and what we learned from it.Email us: betterthanperfectpodcast@gmail.comWebsite: betterthanperfectpod.com

    1h 15m

  4. JAN 23

    Happy Wife, Happy Life? Why It Quietly Ruins Marriages [Ep 113]

    Men aren’t keeping the peace with “happy wife, happy life”—they’re losing respect, attraction, and leadership. In this conversation we break down why people-pleasing your partner backfires, how to set loving boundaries, and what it looks like to disagree without yelling or yielding. Let her be upset if she’s upset—and still lead with love.In this episode you’ll learn • Why “happy wife, happy life” quietly ruins marriages • The difference between people-pleasing and servant leadership • How boundaries create emotional safety (for both of you) • The skill of saying hard things kindly—without walking on eggshells • How men can reset a yes-man dynamic without power games • How women can be influential without bulldozing respect • Practical scripts to hold frame, stay calm, and move forward togetherChapters00:00 Intro02:10 Why “happy wife, happy life” fails in the long run07:45 People-pleasing vs. leadership (what women actually feel)14:18 Let her be upset: holding frame without being cold20:33 Boundaries that build safety, not control27:05 Scripts: say the hard thing—kindly and clearly34:12 When you’ve been a yes-man: how to reset with respect42:50 How she gives counsel without killing his leadership50:11 United front, long-term trust, and real intimacy56:40 Takeaways and next stepsKey takeaways • Stop managing her mood; manage your frame. • Calm voice plus clear boundaries is love in action. • Short-term upset is often the price of long-term trust. • Choose influence over approval.Connect with usPodcast site: betterthanperfectpod.comEmail your questions: betterthanperfectpodcast@gmail.comIf this helped, tap Like, Subscribe, and Share with someone who needs stronger love and better boundaries.#BetterThanPerfect #MarriageAdvice #MasculineLeadership #Boundaries #PeoplePleaserRecovery #RelationshipTips #Communication #LoveAndRespect #CouplesPodcast

    1h 1m

  5. JAN 16

    Are You Parenting…Or Punishing? [Ep 112]

    We break down a calm, effective discipline model: love first, consequences always. The goal isn’t a perfectly on-time kid—it’s a healthy inner voice: “I’m loved, I own my mistakes, and I accept consequences.” We cover punishment vs discipline, unified-front parenting, step-parent realities, and how the way you parent becomes the way your child parents themselves.What you’ll learn• Punishment vs discipline: shame out, responsibility in• How to deliver consequences without anger or yelling• Why your marriage comes first if you want kids to thrive• Boundaries vs enabling (and when to let natural consequences hit)• Scripts to separate behaviour from identity: “You’re loved; you still owe the cost.”• Self-parenting: turning this model inward so you stop punishing yourselfChapters00:00 Cold open: “I’m loved, and I still pay consequences”01:12 Why the marriage comes first06:45 Punishment vs discipline (core differences)12:58 Designing consequences kids respect19:40 United front: no divide-and-conquer25:03 Boundaries vs enabling31:27 Step-parenting realities (and loyalty binds)37:55 Self-parenting: stop the inner punishment loop44:22 Simple scripts for hard moments50:18 Takeaways and weekly challengeTry this week• Replace one punishment with a calm, stated consequence and a reaffirmation: “You’re loved. You still owe the cost.”• Write your one-line family standard for discipline and post it where everyone can see it.Resources• Show notes and newsletter: betterthanpod.com• Questions or stories: betterthanperfectpodcast at gmail dot comHashtags#BetterThanPerfect #Parenting #DisciplineNotPunishment #Boundaries #RespectfulParenting #CalmParenting #FamilyLeadership #StepParenting

    57 min

  6. JAN 9

    The BEST Relationship Habit For 2026 [Ep 111]

    A blunt, practical conversation on the highest-leverage relationship habit for 2026: always respond in love. We challenge the belief that others can “hurt” us, break down the difference between pain and self-created suffering, and show how respectful communication, firm boundaries, and non-reaction can transform your marriage or dating life. What you’ll learn• The no-yelling, no-name-calling, no-sarcasm standard and why it matters• Pain vs suffering: why words trigger us and how to stop looping• How to set boundaries without becoming bitter or vindictive• When walking away is the most loving choice• Leadership, respect, and polarity without control games• A step-by-step path from reactivity to calm strength Chapters00:00 Cold open: “No one can hurt you?”01:12 Intro to Better Than Perfect03:05 The standard: respond in love, every time08:44 Pain vs suffering; triggers and ego defense14:20 Respectful communication rules that actually work20:03 Boundaries, consequences, and walking away in love27:18 Leadership vs control; polarity without yelling33:50 Practical drills to build the habit39:42 Final takeaways and weekly challenge Try this this week• Replace one reactive comeback with a loving pause and a clear boundary.• Catch one trigger and label it: pain or self-made suffering. Resources• Newsletter and show notes: betterthanpod.com• Questions or stories: betterthanperfectpodcast at gmail dot com If this helped, tap Like, hit Subscribe, and share with a friend who needs calmer conversations. Hashtags#BetterThanPerfect #Relationships #Communication #Boundaries #MarriageAdvice #EmotionalMastery #SelfControl #LoveInAction

    55 min

  7. JAN 2

    What Is The Ideal Age Gap In Relationships? [Ep 110]

    Are age-gap relationships romantic or reckless? We break down when a gap enhances intimacy—and when it kills compatibility. Expect straight talk on maturity, leadership, agency, and why “taking advantage” vs “adult choice” gets misused.What you’ll learn• The real difference between casual fun and marriage-minded age gaps• Why compatibility can drop past ~15 years—and how age scales with age• Status, attraction, and honesty: admitting the motives on both sides• Agency vs exploitation: clear thinking without the victim mindset• The practical sweet spot: why ~5–10 (up to 15) years often works best• Leadership, respect, and relational polarity without control or coercion• How women can prioritise maturity over age—and men can earn true respectChapters00:00 Cold open: fun vs commitment01:07 Intro: why age gaps trigger people03:02 The DiCaprio debate and status signalling07:10 When a gap gets “icky” vs simply impractical12:25 Agency vs “taking advantage”16:30 The honest motives men and women won’t admit21:05 What’s actually optimal: ~5–10 (up to 15) years27:40 Leadership, respect, and real compatibility33:55 Women’s lens: maturity over age39:20 Pools and probabilities (who should date whom, when)46:10 Guidance vs moulding; avoiding control52:30 Takeaways and next stepsKey takeaways• Big gaps can work, but compatibility and life stage matter more than hype.• Agency is real; so are asymmetric incentives—be honest about both.• If you want marriage, optimise for character, maturity, and shared trajectory.Question of the weekWhat do you think is the healthiest age gap for a long-term relationship—and why?Subscribe for weekly episodes: two imperfect people, one better-than-perfect relationship.Email: betterthanperfectpodcast@gmail.comAll episodes: BetterThanPerfectPod.com#relationships #datingadvice #agegap #masculinity #femininity #marriage #selfimprovement #redpill #polarity #compatibility #podcast

    1h 2m

  8. 12/26/2025

    How To Deal With Rejection [Ep 109]

    In this episode, we cover how to deal with rejection.

    1h 7m
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4.4
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Each week, we show how two imperfect people helping each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship.

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