In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Alexa Andre - Sexologist and Relationship Expert

The no-b******t sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to. Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game! 🎧 New episodes every week.

  1. 5d ago

    What Happens to Your Vulva as You Age? Menopause, Hormones & Sexual Health (ft. Dr. Maria Sophocles)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Dr. Maria Sophocles, gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, women’s health advocate, and author of The Bedroom Gap, for a conversation about women’s sexual health, hormones, menopause, aging, and pleasure. What really happens to your vulva as you age? How do estrogen and testosterone affect your libido, energy, memory, vaginal health, and ability to enjoy sex? And why are so many women still struggling to get answers about their own bodies? In this episode of In Bed With Alexa, Alexa and Dr. Maria unpack the science, misinformation, and often-overlooked realities of female sexual health: from changes in the vulva and vagina to hormone therapy, pelvic floor health, and why your sex life can actually get better with age. TOPICS DISCUSSED: Vulva anatomy and what’s normal: Labia asymmetry, vulva diversity, body image, cosmetic labiaplasty, and how unrealistic porn standards can shape insecurities about genital appearance.The clitoris and sexual education: The internal anatomy of the clitoris, its nerve endings, why it has been overlooked in medical education, and the lack of research into women’s sexual health.Sexual health stigma and patient questions: Common concerns about genital anatomyHow the vulva changes with age: Collagen breakdown, loss of fat, changes in pubic hair, reduced sensation, diminished blood flow, and changes in the appearance of the labia.Vaginal dryness and vaginal atrophy: How declining estrogen affects blood vessels, tissue elasticity, natural lubrication, and comfort during sex.Vaginal and vulvar treatments: Vaginal estrogen, vaginal testosterone, DHEA, CO2 laser treatments, vulvar serums, barrier creams, and fillers for vulvar volume.Labia minora shrinkage after menopause: Why the labia can become thinner over time, how this may affect sexual sensationMenopause and hot flashes: Why hot flashes happen and hormonal and nonhormonal approachesMuscle mass, strength, and sexual function: Why strength training, flexibility, mobility, and balance matter for sexual activity, healthy aging, and longevity.Menopause and cholesterol: Why LDL cholesterol can rise during menopauseTestosterone in women: its potential roles in libido, energy, memory, spatial recognition, mitochondrial health, and lean muscle mass.Low testosterone symptoms and testing: Fatigue, low desire, brain fog, mood changesTestosterone treatment and potential side effects: Off-label treatment, monitoring hormone levels, acne, unwanted facial or body hair, mood changes, voice deepening, and clitoral enlargementHormone replacement therapy (HRT): Systemic versus topical estrogen, the role of progesteroneHormones and cancer misinformation: Breast cancer risk, estrogen-related concerns, the difference between correlation and causationOsteoporosis and the long-term effects of menopause: Bone health, delayed treatment, and why women should discuss their options rather than dismissing hormone therapy based on fear HPV, cancer prevention, and vaccination: HPV’s links to cervical, anal, and throat cancers, HPV vaccinationSex and intimacy as you age: Why sexual satisfaction can improve with age, letting go of performance pressure, and embracing intimacy and pleasure at every stage of life.Rethinking pleasure and productivity: Why sexual pleasure deserves a place in your life Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice. Discuss hormone therapy, medications, supplements, and treatment options with a qualified healthcare professional. Follow Dr. Maria:Instagram: @mariasophoclesmd Website: https://mariasophoclesmd.com Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/alexa

  2. Oct 15

    Your Dating Standards Are Keeping You Single (ft. Todd Baratz, LMHC)

    Are our dating standards keeping us single? Are we too quick to label people toxic, narcissistic, or full of red flags? Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and author Todd Baratz for a conversation about modern dating, sex, intimacy, relationship anxiety, and why finding a healthy relationship might require us to rethink everything we’ve been taught about love. Does a healthy relationship mean never having doubts or never going to bed angry? Todd challenges popular relationship advice and explains why real connection requires vulnerability, curiosity, discomfort, and the willingness to do the work. Topics discussed: • Modern dating and disconnection: How social media and wider cultural changes influence connection, intimacy, and the way we relate to each other. • Vulnerability and emotional intimacy: Why opening up feels so difficult, how our defenses protect us from rejection, and why emotional closeness requires ongoing self-work. • Dating standards and the search for the perfect partner: How unrealistic expectations and the pursuit of an ideal relationship can shrink your dating pool. • Red flags, dealbreakers, and dating anxiety: Whether political differences, wanting children, lifestyle preferences, and other incompatibilities should determine who gets a chance. • Entitlement, self-worth, and reciprocity: What we deserve in relationships and why healthy relationships require collaboration rather than one-sided demands. • Couples therapy and emotional labor: What happens when one partner is ready to work on the relationship and the other resists. • Relationship doubts and the fear of commitment: Why doubt is a normal part of making choices and why you don't need to feel 100% certain about your partner. • Closure and heartbreak: Whether closure is necessary to heal, how to process grief without someone else's apology, and why the popular advice “if they wanted to, they would” can create more disconnection. • Why the right relationship can trigger you: How intimacy brings unresolved childhood wounds to the surface, why the real question is how partners respond to conflict, and how repair and emotional safety distinguish a challenging relationship from a harmful one. • Therapy speak and performative healing: Why words like “boundaries,” “attachment,” “triggered,” “holding space,” and “narcissist” can lose their meaning when they're used to avoid vulnerability rather than create genuine connection. • Trauma, anxiety, and self-awareness: Why understanding your history is not the same as feeling and processing it, why we may need to worry less, and how to stop turning every difficult experience into an intellectual exercise. • Therapy, self-help, and doing the work: Why practical steps such as therapy, books, and relationship resources can help us grow, and why insight alone doesn't automatically change our behavior. • Authenticity and being yourself: Todd's perspective on showing up as a real person rather than performing a polished therapist persona, the pressure to maintain different identities at work and in relationships, and why humor, honesty, and imperfection matter. • Todd's personal struggles and growth: His experiences with being single, solitude, relationship challenges, heartbreak, self-care, and decades of therapy and how he handles difficult emotions without beating himself up. • Discomfort, shame, and curiosity: Why learning to tolerate uncertainty, asking more questions, challenging rigid thinking, and becoming more open to other people can create deeper connections. Follow Todd:Instagram: @yourdiagnonsense Website: www.toddsbaratz.com Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/alexa

  3. Oct 8

    Are Affairs Actually Hot? Cheating, Kinks & Relationship Rules (ft. Carly Pifer)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Carly from Read Aurore to talk about why affairs, cheating, secrecy, and other taboo desires can be so damn hot. What makes an affair feel so passionate? Why does forbidden sex create such intense desire? And can cheating ever be understandable—or even acceptable—depending on the circumstances? Alexa and Carly get into the complicated psychology of infidelity, including why people cheat, why an affair isn't necessarily about the person being cheated on, the power of secrecy and feeling chosen, and why affairs between two people who are both in relationships can feel more equal than an affair between a partnered person and someone single. Topic discussed: Affairs and infidelity: why affairs happen and why they're sexually appealingCheating and relationship agreementsWhether you should tell someone their partner is cheatingThe “what you don't know can't hurt you” debateThe ethics of being the other person in an affairMarried people cheating with single peopleWhy people having affairs often don't leave their primary relationshipsThe idea of financial compensation in an affair Esther Perel and The State of AffairsCheating in abusive or neglectful relationshipsCheating when a partner is sick or disabledSexual needs within long-term relationshipsSexual incompatibilitySex workers and whether hiring one constitutes cheatingDefining what “cheating” means in a relationshipPorn as a potential form of cheatingOpen relationships and the possibility of cheating within themPublic sex/public playThe thrill and risk of getting caughtSex in semi-public placesPrivacy, consent, and the ethics of public sexual behaviorBeing walked in on during sexConsensual/role-play affairsThe fantasy of secrecy without actual betrayalHotel rooms and sneaking aroundFear of getting caughtFeeling chosen/special through an affairNovelty and new relationship energy Follow Carly:Instagram: @readaurore Website: www.readaurore.com  Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

  4. Sep 24

    Can Pleasure Heal Trauma? Sex, Intimacy & Reclaiming Your Power (ft. Lauren Elise Rogers)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sexuality educator and embodied intimacy & relationship coach Lauren Elise Rogers for a deeply honest conversation about sexual trauma, healing, pleasure, intimacy, consent, and reclaiming your relationship with your body. In this episode: Sexual trauma and sexual assaultConsent and coercionWhy sexual trauma can be underreportedShame and sex-negative cultureRape culture and normalizing sexual harmVictim vs. survivor languageWhy healing is not linearTrauma, fear and helplessnessProcessing an experience after it happensTalking to a safe person after traumaTrauma and the bodyAccountability and taking responsibilityApologies and relationship repairDefensiveness and ego after causing harmListening to impact instead of defending intentAsking curious questionsCommunication and empathySex educators and trauma therapists working togetherPleasure as part of healingReclaiming intimacy after sexual traumaSex after sexual assaultPelvic-floor responses and sexual tensionTriggers and nervous-system responsesNeural pathways and creating new experiences of safetySomatic healing and body-based responsesShaking, movement, dancing and laughterOrgasm and pleasurePlay as a healing modalityTrauma becoming connected to erotic arousalForgiveness vs. reconciliationBoundaries after harmSelf-forgivenessHealing within healthy relationshipsTime, memory and healingWhy healing doesn't necessarily mean never being triggeredReclaiming pleasure, agency and identityBuilding a life beyond simply “surviving” Follow Lauren:Instagram: @sex_ed_for_you Website: www.sexedforyou.com Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa

  5. Sep 17

    You’re Not as “Freaky” as You Think: Kinks, Fetishes & Fantasies (ft. Niki Davis)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, event planner and author Niki Davis for a conversation about sexual shame, uncommon desires, kinks, fetishes, fantasies, self-pleasure, relationships and the psychology of arousal. Why do so many people feel ashamed of what turns them on? Niki Davis shares what she has learned from working with people with uncommon desires and explains the difference between shame and guilt, how shame can create a spiral of negative thoughts, and why people can feel like they have a “fetish self” and a separate identity. Topics discussed:• Sexual shame and how to recognize it• Shame vs. guilt• Uncommon sexual desires• Kinks vs. fetishes• Sexual fantasies• How the brain influences arousal• Whether desires can change or evolve• Exposure and developing new desires• Partner acceptance and exploring a partner’s kink• Balloon fetishes (poppers vs non-poppers)• Wet floor sign fetishes• Foot fetish• Carpet fetishism and Giorgio Carpet• Vore and being swallowed fantasies• Fantasy vs. real-life sexual experiences• Threesomes as fantasy vs. reality• Scat play• Disgust and arousal• Finding community around uncommon desires• Shame spirals and negative thought loops• Identifying sexual and emotional triggers• Keeping a thought log• Exploring kinks independently• Using imagination as part of erotic experiences Follow Niki:Instagram: @missbloomsexeducator Website: www.nikidavisf.com Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

  6. Sep 10

    The Bedroom Gap: Painful Sex, Low Desire & Vaginal Health (ft. Dr. Sophocles)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, and author Dr. Maria Sophocles to talk openly about painful sex, vaginal health, sexual pleasure, menopause, low desire, and everything in between. Topics discussed: Why does sex hurt? How common is painful sex, and when should you see a doctor? Dr. Maria Sophocles breaks down the most common causes of sexual pain, including vaginal dryness and inadequate lubrication, lack of arousal, vaginismus and a hypertonic pelvic floor, dermatologic conditions such as lichen sclerosus, STIs including herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea, and internal causes such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, fibroids and scarring.Alexa and Dr. Sophocles also get into why lubrication isn't the same thing as arousal, the importance of taking time before penetration, sexual scripting, communication with your partner, the orgasm gap, faking orgasms, low libido and desire differences, and why treating pain can sometimes bring sexual desire back.They discuss estrogen, genitourinary syndrome of menopause, perimenopause, postpartum and breastfeeding-related changes, surgical menopause, chemotherapy, vaginal estrogen, systemic estrogen, birth control and its potential effects on dryness and libido, as well as pelvic floor physical therapy, Kegels and pelvic floor relaxation.The conversation also covers PMS and period symptoms, breast tenderness, mood changes, back pain, exercise, sleep, meditation, mindfulness, magnesium, ibuprofen, vitamin E and evening primrose oil.Pap smears, trauma during gynecological exams, pediatric speculums, lubricant during Pap testing, and the future of at-home HPV/Pap sample collection. They also play fact vs.fiction on cotton underwear, synthetic underwear, thongs, tight leggings, sweating after workouts, panty liners, vaginal discharge, vulva washing, soap, feminine washes, vaginal pH, normal genital odor, BV, boric acid, antibiotics, the vaginal microbiome, diet, fermented foods, probiotics/microbiome testing, vulvar irritation, pubic hair and friction. Follow Dr. Sophocles:Instagram: @mariasophoclesmd Website: www.mariasophoclesmd.com Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa

  7. Aug 27

    Rough Sex, Kink, Fantasies & What Women Really Want (ft. Small Hands)

    Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Small Hands (Aaron Thompson) to talk about what really creates sexual attraction, the difference between confidence and competence, rough sex, kink, consent, boundaries, and the fantasies people don't always know how to talk about. In this episode: Non-sexual turn-ons and how they become sexual turn-onsHands, feet, scent and other physical turn-onsActs of service, chores, cleaning and thoughtfulness as turn onsAppreciation, validation and keeping long-term relationships connectedBoundary talks before professional collaborationsReading someone's comfort level and adjusting in the momentSexual toys, magic wands, lube and taking initiativeConfidence vs. competenceWhy competence may be more attractive than confidenceHumility, ego and letting actions speak for themselvesSexual performance anxiety and the pressure to “deliver”Small Hands' first g******g and early experiences in pornCNC (consensual non-consent) fantasiesDark fantasies and the importance of genuine desire and safetyKink, trauma and how life experiences can shape sexual interestsReclaiming autonomy through fantasyThe unexpected origins of a foot fetishWhat “rough sex” actually meansPhysical, verbal and psychological elements of rough sexWhy rough sex requires context, intent and communicationRough sex vs. disrespectConsent, boundaries and negotiating BDSM/kinkChoking and assuming a partner wants itHot ways of checking in during sex Why porn should never be treated as a guide for real-life behaviorTrust and safety as foundations for exploring darker fantasiesSmall Hands' private fantasy of slow, romantic, sensual sex Follow Aaron: Instagram: @thesmallhands_ Follow Alexa Andre: Instagram: @sexwithalexa Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa Sponsor: Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa

4.6
out of 5
63 Ratings

About

The no-b******t sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to. Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game! 🎧 New episodes every week.

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