The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce

Britta Jo
  • 4.6 (186)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

  1. 4d ago ·  Video

    Only You Can Save Yourself From Your Marriage: Reclaiming Your Personal Authority

    Episode 120: Reclaim your authority and trust your intuition when considering divorce. This episode is a banger, and I am speaking straight from the heart (and with quite a bit of fire 🔥). If you’ve been feeling stuck, exhausted, or constantly doubting your own reality, I want to land one fundamental truth in your heart today: In a world designed by and for men, trusting your own mind and body is a radically necessary act of self-preservation. 💡 In this episode, I’m opening up about a personal health scare with perimenopause and how easily even I caught myself outsourcing my authority to the external. 🛑 We dig into how we as women, especially those considering divorce or coming out of fundamentalist religious environments, have been systematically programmed to believe someone else out there knows better than we do. Here’s what we’re breaking down together: 📣 A Word to My Male Listeners: Why patriarchal systems exploit you, too, and why reclaiming individual agency is a civic and human imperative.💔 The "Good Guy" Trap: How subtle manipulation, emotional hijacking, and patriarchal rules teach us to make our unhappiness a "me problem" instead of seeing the system for what it is.🛑 Reclaiming Your "Motherfucking No": Why ignoring your body’s signals is keeping you stuck—and how to start trusting your burnout, your boundaries, and your intuition over someone else’s comfort.🚪 No One Is Coming to Save You: Accepting that while no knight in shining armor is showing up to fix your marriage, you hold the steering wheel—and you don't have to drive alone.You hold more authority than you think, babe. It’s time to take it back. 💪✨ 🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode: Join the Stay or Go Community: Text STAYORGO to 33777 to surround yourself with women who have your back. 👯‍♀️Book a 90-Minute Strategy Session: Text 90MIN to 33777 to start doing the deep one-on-one work. 🗝️Recommended Episodes: Go back and check out my deep dive into Gerda Lerner's The Creation of Patriarchy and The Creation of Feminist Consciousness. 📚Episode 110: What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn OtreraEpisode 111: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera"The Men Are Not All Right"...Right? - Diabolical LiesInvisible Women - Caroline Criado PerezSupport the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Only You Can Save Yourself From Your Marriage: Reclaiming Your Personal Authority

  2. Aug 11 ·  Video

    Your Body Isn’t Broken, It’s Overstimulated (Why "Powering Through" Keeps You Trapped)

    Episode 119: Nervous System Regulation for Divorce & Decision Making: Why You’re Not Broken Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or trapped in your marriage and wondering why you can’t make a clear decision? In this episode of the Stay or Go Podcast, I dive deep into why your nervous system regulation is the ultimate key to moving from survival mode into steady clarity. If you've been judging yourself for feeling paralyzed, take a deep breath, you are not broken. Your body is just asking for physical safety before it can process life-altering choices. In this episode, we cover: 🧠 The Science of Your Autonomic Nervous System: A simple, approachable breakdown of the sympathetic "accelerator," parasympathetic "brake," and how they control your stress response.🛑 Why You Can’t "Power Through" Dysregulation: How survival mode keeps you trapped in immediate escapes (like buffering, scrolling, or overworking) instead of long-term clarity.🛠️ Real-World Somatic Tools: Simple, accessible practices you can use right now to ground yourself - including EFT tapping, fascia release, and muscle resets.🎨 Exciting Community Updates: I share the launch of the new Gorgeous Alter Ego Design Workbook (co-created with Quinn Otrera and Jess Jox) on Substack, plus the story behind the podcast’s brand-new logo!Links & Resources Mentioned: ✨ Get the Alter Ego Workbook: Join my paid Substack for just $11/month to snag the new workbook, access the Conscious Mind Mini-Course, and join our monthly live Q&As!👯‍♀️ Join the Stay or Go Community: Ready to stabilize your nervous system alongside an incredible group of women? Text StayOrGoCommunity (all one word) to 33377 to get instant access to all our calls, workshops, and 2026 content.💌 Work With Britta 1-on-1: Want personalized, deep-dive coaching to clear the fog and move forward? Check out my private coaching containers linked here and below. Human Garage (Fascia Work)Episode 118 - EFT tapping and resources linkedEpisode 118 Apple - EFT tapping and resources linkedEpisode 109 - AppleEpisode 109 - SpotifyEpisode 113 - SpotifyEpisode 113 - AppleDrop your shoulders away from your ears, place a hand on your heart, and let’s dive in together. Sending you so much love and steady ground! 🤍 Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Your Body Isn’t Broken, It’s Overstimulated (Why "Powering Through" Keeps You Trapped)

  3. Aug 4 ·  Video

    Stop Mansplaining Your Inner Child: EFT Tapping with Jess Johnson

    Episode 118: EFT Tapping for Nervous System Regulation & Somatic Healing with Jess Johnson  Ever feel like your mind knows you’re safe, but your body is still completely hijacked by anxiety, rage, or overthinking? 🤯 Babes, you are not crazy—and you definitely cannot "think" your way out of a body-level stress response! In today’s episode, I am freaking out with excitement because I’m joined by the incredible Jess Johnson, a former trauma therapist turned mind-body connection coach. Jess uses evidence-based EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping) to help high achievers, leaders, and women like us drop the self-doubt, stop tying our self-worth to productivity, and get our bodies actually on board with our healing. 🧠✨ We get super real, raw, and explicit about: 🕷️ The Science of Tapping: How two rounds of EFT literally cured Jess’s severe, life-disrupting arachnophobia.🧠 Mansplaining Your Inner Child: Why forced positive affirmations don't work until you give your true feelings a voice first.💥 Body vs. Mind Disconnect: What’s really happening when your emotional reaction doesn’t match the situation in front of you.🩺 Perimenopause, Rage, & Medical Gaslighting: Jess’s honest journey through physical burnout, finding the right support, and using EFT as "emotional Drain-o."🖐️ A Step-by-Step Tapping Guide: A mini-walkthrough of the exact EFT points so you can start getting instant somatic relief today!Whether you’re dealing with CPTSD emotional flashbacks, burnout, or making tough life transitions, this episode is full of science-meets-soul wisdom, zero-BS tools, and plenty of laughs. Pop in those earbuds and let's get into it! 🎙️✨ 🌟 Resources & Connect with Us: Join the Stay or Go Community: Text StayorGocommunity (all one word) to 33777 to get in ASAP for our upcoming live nervous system regulation workshops!  Jess’s Fun Side-Hustle: Don't forget to listen to her hilarious smutty book podcast, Between the Folds! 😉  Jess's Website: www.jessjohnsoncoaching.com Jess's Instagram: @jess.johnsoncoaching Get Jess's Free Basic EFT Workbook — Sign up for Jess's email list to instantly receive her step-by-step workbook to help you use EFT for your daily goals and nervous system regulation! Check out Jess Johnson's YouTube Channel for guided EFT videos, including: Tapping Meditations:📽️ WTF is EFT? (Playlist) — A great, beginner-friendly starting point!📽️ I Choose Courage📽️ EFT for Self-TrustPersonal "Tapping in the Wild" Sessions:Husband F*****y RecoveryProcessing Medical AnxietyAfghanistan Crisis TappingThe Science of Tapping by Dr. Peta Stapleton  TEDx Talk: Is Therapy Facing a Revolution? by Dr. Peta Stapleton EFT vs. EMDR Comparative Studies: Explore the latest clinical research comparing EFT and EMDR side-by-side at Evidence-Based EFT Comparative Studies. Brad Yates YouTube Channel — High-yield, approachable tapping videos from one of the pioneers in the EFT space!  Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Stop Mansplaining Your Inner Child: EFT Tapping with Jess Johnson

  4. Jul 28 ·  Video

    Leaving a "Good Guy" with Deep Wounds: Why Love Alone Can’t Save the Relationship

    Episode 117: Why Love Alone Can’t Save Your Marriage (And Leaving a "Good Guy" with Deep Wounds) Hi there, love. Place a hand on your heart and take a deep breath with me. 🤍 In today’s deeply personal episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on a recent, heavy experience that brought up a truth many women in our community struggle with: Why love alone cannot save a relationship, especially when you are considering divorcing a "good guy" who carries deep, unhealed wounds. 💔 After learning about the tragic passing of an ex-partner, I found myself revisiting the old scabs of a relationship filled with profound love, chemistry, and connection—but one where we were ultimately both drowning. 🌊 If you’ve ever found yourself wishing he would just cheat or do something terrible so you’d have a "clear line" to leave, I want you to know: You are not alone, and you are not crazy. Often, your empathy becomes the very cage that keeps you trapped in self-abandonment. In this episode, we unpack: 🕊️ The "Healing Fantasy": How childhood attachment wounds make us fall in love with potential instead of staying grounded in current reality.🧮 The "Compatibility Math": A neutral, shame-free framework to evaluate variables like childhood trauma, addiction, neurodiversity, and capacity.⚓ Drowning vs. Anchoring: Why two codependent, insecurely attached partners can’t pull each other to safety without a life raft.✨ Hope for Secure Attachment: How choosing yourself isn't selfish—it's the gateway to true, securely attached love (and why it's waiting for you on the other side).Loving someone doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your mental health, your peace, or your life purpose to keep them afloat. Let’s talk about how to look at the "math" of your relationship with radically honest, loving eyes. 🌿 Ready to Get Clarity on Your Next Step? 🕊️ Book a 90-Minute Clarity Drop-In Session: A focused, ground-level deep dive to map out your history, your relationship dynamic, and your immediate roadmap forward.✨ Apply for 1:1 Deep Dive Coaching (3 Months): High-touch, intimate support for women navigating the entire process of deciding whether to stay or go.Show Notes: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson  Episode 113 Apple: Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce (Exploring Mother Hunger & implicit memory)  Episode 113 Spotify: Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce (Exploring Mother Hunger & implicit memory)  Episode 12 Apple: Attachment Theory & Its Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage Episode 12 Spotify: Attachment Theory & Its Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage If this episode touched your heart, please pass it along to a sister who needs to hear it today. Sending you so much love! 💖 Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Leaving a "Good Guy" with Deep Wounds: Why Love Alone Can’t Save the Relationship

  5. Jul 21 ·  Video

    Feeling Stuck in Your Marriage? Meet Your Alter Ego With Quinn Otrera

    Episode 116: Reinvent Yourself After Divorce: How to Build Your Alter Ego with Quinn Otrera💫 Welcome back, babes! If you’ve been feeling a little stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re experiencing an identity collapse while navigating marriage decisions or post-divorce life—this episode was made for you.  This week, I’m joined by the incredible Quinn Otrera, and she is bringing a tool to the podcast that blew my mind: The Alter Ego Effect (inspired by Todd Herman’s work!). We dig deep into what happens to our sense of self when the old roles we used to play—like "wife," "Mormon mom," or "trad wife"—no longer fit. Instead of staying stuck in fear, low-grade anxiety, or the story that you’re just a "sad single mom," Quinn shares how stepping into a future-focused alter ego can completely shift your energy, your boundaries, and your nervous system. In this episode, we talk about: ✨ What identity collapse really is—and why it’s a natural part of divorce. ✨ How famous icons (like Beyoncé and Kobe Bryant) used alter egos to break through fear. ✨ Shifting your physiology and story so you feel safe, confident, and magnetic now. ✨ Quinn’s hilarious and empowering dating stories (and how she stepped into her ultimate power stance). ✨ Practical, "tiny habit" tools to step out of the heavy slog and make rebuilding your life fun and playful again! Whether you’re considering divorce, right in the thick of it, or rebuilding on the other side, this conversation is an invitation to play, dream, and choose who you want to be next. (And P.S., I know I mention Quinn's worksheet dropping this week in the episode, but I’ve decided to slow down and pour some extra design love into making it a full mini-workbook for Substack in a couple of weeks!) 🎨✨ 👉 Bonus for Substack Subscribers: Quinn has graciously allowed us to share her custom Alter Ego Worksheet! Head over to the paid Substack subscribers area using the link above to get your hands on it as soon as it drops in a couple weeks. Let's step into our bold, vibrant selves together! Click play and let's dive in. 🎙️🔥 Links & Resources Mentioned: Substack: Grab the exclusive Alter Ego Worksheet in our paid subscriber section soon! Design Inspiration: Check out the amazing work by Jess Jaques - InstagramJess Jacques - The Passive RebelJoin the Stay or Go Community: Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to connect with us, get tarot readings with Quinn, and find your tribe. ✨Books Mentioned:  The Alter Ego Effect by Todd HermanBe Your Future Self Now by Dr. Benjamin HardyTiny Habits by BJ Fogg.Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Feeling Stuck in Your Marriage? Meet Your Alter Ego With Quinn Otrera

  6. Jul 14 ·  Video

    Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives in Marriage: When You’re the More Erotic Partner

    Episode 115: Mismatched sex drives in marriage? Let’s talk about reclaiming your erotic blueprint, shedding the shame, and owning your desire.  Welcome back, y'all! Hello, hello. Today, we are diving headfirst into one of my absolute favorite topics on the planet—one that is so often swept under the rug, especially when we’re trying to decide whether to stay or go. We are talking about sex drives, intimacy, and eroticism. 🌶️ I almost titled this episode "So You're Kinky AF, but Your Spouse Isn't—What to Do," but my marketing friends reminded me that we need to keep things SEO-friendly! But babes, that is exactly the heart of what we are unpacking today. For so many of us—especially those raised with heavy religious repression (hello, Mormonism! 👋)—sexuality is something we’ve been taught to control, hide, or ignore. But after my own divorce, diving into my eroticism became one of the richest, most beautiful landscapes for discovering who I actually am. In this episode, we are digging deep into: Your Erotic Blueprint 🗺️: Drawing wisdom from Jack Morin’s incredible book, The Erotic Mind, we explore how our unique turn-ons and turn-offs are shaped by our histories, our traumas, and our cultures.The Danger of Repression 🚪: Why shoving your desires into a dark closet actually makes you more likely to cause harm to yourself and others (and why owning your kinks makes them your bitch!).Mismatched Desires in Marriage ⚖️: How to evaluate if you and your spouse can actually build an intimate playground together using Emily Naguski’s Come Together framework.The Power of Self-Touch 💖: Why reclaiming your pleasure by yourself is the safest, most empowering place to start healing, resetting your nervous system, and stepping into your adult autonomy.Whether you feel like "too much" or you’ve completely shut down your desire to survive a sexless marriage, please hear me: Your eroticism is the very energy of life itself. You cannot cut it off without cutting off your own growth. If this episode sparks a hunger in you to dive deeper into your own marriage dynamic, I would love to hold space for you. Grab a 90-Minute Session with me, or text "Stay or Go Community" to 33777 to join our radically supportive, pleasure-positive sisterhood. 👭✨ Let's stop letting our pleasure be an afterthought, babes. You deserve to run wild. So much love,  Britta xoxo Show Notes: The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin Come Together: The Science and Art of Creating Lasting Sexual Connection by Emily Naguski Come As You Are by Emily Naguski Apple: Episode 97: Fate vs. Destiny Spotify: Episode 97: Fate vs. Destiny Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives in Marriage: When You’re the More Erotic Partner

  7. Jul 7 ·  Video

    Divorce After 28 Years: Choosing the Hard Truth Over a Perfect Image With LeeAnna

    Episode 114: What happens when your life looks absolutely perfect on the outside, but on the inside, you are completely starving for a deeper, more authentic connection? This week, I am sitting down with my client turned dear friend, LeeAnna, for a deeply vulnerable, unfiltered conversation about what it actually looks like to face a divorce after 28 years of marriage while grappling with childhood trauma and insecure attachment. LeeAnna opens up about the painful reality of leaving a marriage that wasn’t inherently "bad" or abusive, but was plagued by a low-level, insidious emotional neglect. From navigating the deep shame of an affair to the heartbreak of letting go of her award-winning dream home, LeeAnna shares how she stopped hyper-functioning to avoid her pain and finally learned how to sit in the "stew" of her reality to choose herself. If you are a type-A perfectionist who has spent your life collecting quantities (years of marriage, money, status) instead of focusing on emotional quality, this episode is a permission slip to embrace the messy transition and reclaim your autonomy. In this episode, we explore: The "Gilded Cage" Dilemma: Choosing the truth of the inside over the beautiful, perfect image on the outside.Insecure Attachment & CPTSD: Recognizing emotional flashbacks and breaking the cycle of dissociation in your relationships.The Chemistry of "Parts Work": How integrating your dark, traumatized, and acting-out parts allows you to show up as a whole adult.The Reality of Leaving with Love: Why setting boundaries and choosing divorce can be the ultimate act of kindness for both partners.Life On the Other Side: How LeeAnna rapidly built a massive, authentic life—including a new home, a classical Pilates studio, a trauma-informed podcast, and a deeply attuned new partnership—in just a few short monthsShow Notes: Connect with LeeAnna: Vocavo Health (Find LeeAnna inside our community guiding Pilates sessions for our Strong Ground theme!) Law Firm Recommendation (Dallas/Texas) Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Divorce After 28 Years: Choosing the Hard Truth Over a Perfect Image With LeeAnna

  8. Jun 30 ·  Video

    Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce

    Episode 113: You don't trust yourself because you've been taught not to love yourself. 💔 If you are constantly drowning in doubt, feeling paralyzed by the decision to stay or go, and wondering why you can’t just make a choice and move forward—this deep, incredibly vulnerable episode is for you. This week, I’m pulling back the curtain on a massive piece of the puzzle that so many women considering divorce completely miss. 🧠✨ The root of your self-doubt isn’t just standard marital distress. It actually ties back to a deep-seated childhood injury: insecure attachment, or what author Kelly McDaniel beautifully calls "Mother Hunger." If you grew up in an environment where mistakes weren't okay, or where your boundaries had to be violated just to keep the peace, your body stored that fear. Now, your marriage has become a literal proxy for your childhood trauma, leaving your nervous system constantly on fire. 🔥 In this episode, I’m breaking down: The 6 eye-opening points from the book Mother Hunger that completely blew my mind. 📚Why trying to heal your attachment wounds while trapped in a toxic marriage is an absolute fantasy. 🙅‍♀️Implicit memory: How your body remembers the first two years of your life, even if your conscious brain doesn't. 🧬The Savior Complex: The lie patriarchy sells us that we can endlessly sacrifice our own boundaries to save our partners (spoiler alert: we are human, not superhumans!).The launchpad to freedom: Why finding a community of securely attached women—a true sisterhood—is the ultimate predictor of your future health and happiness. 👯‍♀️❤️Babes, I’m being so real with you today because I know this quicksand intimately. I’m sharing my own recent, raw breakdown on my therapist's couch to show you that healing is a lifelong process, but you don't have to do it alone. You deserve structural scaffolding, safety, and a launchpad out of the burning building. 🚀 👇 Ready to build your launchpad and step into deep, life-altering work? I’ve brought my deep-dive one-on-one coaching container back to the front, and for a temporary time, I'm lowering the price by 16%. Let's see if we are a fit to walk this path together: CLICK HERE to book your one-on-one Alignment & Clarity Call! Loving this episode? Come join the conversation over on Substack, drop a review, or share this with a sister who needs to hear this truth today. Till next week, sending you so much love! 🤟💗 Connect with Britta: Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Show Notes: Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal From Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance by Kelly McDaniel Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker Episode 12 Apple: Attachment Theory & It's Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage Episode 12 Spotify: Attachment Theory & It's Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce
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Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

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