The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce

Britta Jo
  • 4.6 (196)
  • Relationships
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Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

  1. 1d ago

    Expanding Pleasure, Eroticism, and Sensual Self-Connection with Usha Rose

    Episode 132: Welcome back, loves! When you’re caught in the heavy swirl of questioning your marriage, carrying the mental load, and constantly pouring from an empty cup, feeling disconnected from your own body is almost second nature. But what if pleasure isn’t something you have to wait on a partner to give you? What if it's the very foundation of your healing? This week, I’m sitting down with Vita-certified sexual empowerment and conscious relationship coach Usha Rose (my fellow co-author in Handbook for Human Potential) to completely flip the script on how we view intimacy, desire, and our own bodies. Whether you’re dealing with religious shame, feeling trapped in transactional dynamics, or wondering where your libido went, this conversation is the gentle, sacred permission slip your nervous system has been craving. We dive deep into: The Healing Power of Becoming Your Own Best Lover: Why cultivating an intentional, agenda-free self-pleasure practice reconnects you with your innate divinity.Sensual vs. Sexual Touch: Understanding the crucial differences—and why creating slow, non-sexual "on-ramps" is vital when your body is in overdrive or freeze.Healing Trauma & Rebuilding Body Safety: Navigating past conditioning, recovering from people-pleasing, and discovering how reconnecting with your firm "no" unlocks your authentic "yes."Holding Grief in Pleasure: Why releasing tears, rage, and heartache during touch is a natural, necessary part of the healing spiral.Erotic Aliveness as Life-Force Energy: Reclaiming eros as pure creative fuel to nourish and resource your life, relationships, and future self.Show Notes: Join the Community Workshop: Usha is joining us inside the Stay or Go Community to lead a live workshop on sensual self-touch and pleasure as nourishment! Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY (all one word) to 33777 to get onboarded before the doors close.  Handbook for Human Potential Usha's Website Follow Usha on Instagram Access her free guided breast massage practice here Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Expanding Pleasure, Eroticism, and Sensual Self-Connection with Usha Rose

  2. Nov 3 ·  Video

    Facing the Crossroads of Divorce With Community: Insights From the Stay or Go Retreat

    Episode 131: Considering divorce and feeling totally isolated? Discover the life-changing power of emotional safety, true sisterhood, and stepping into your authenticity. ✨ Well hello, gorgeous babes! 💖 Quinn and I are still floating in our gorgeous post-retreat glow-up, and we couldn’t wait to bring that juicy, transformative energy straight to your ears. Coming into our second Stay or Go Retreat, we kept wondering: Can you really catch lightning in a bottle twice? The answer is a resounding, heart-expanding YES. ⚡️ In this episode, we’re unpacking the pure magic that unfolded over 48 sacred hours in our private oasis. When you’re navigating an unhappy marriage, contemplating separation, or feeling touched out, overwhelmed, and disconnected from your core, your nervous system is constantly on high alert. You forget what it feels like to just arrive and be fully safe in the present moment without having to perform, caretake, or prove you're worthy. 🌿 We dive into what shifts when women come together in an emotionally mature, matriarchal space free of competition, cattiness, or guilt: Sinking Into Safety: Why taking off the caregiver hat—not cooking, cleaning, or explaining yourself—lets your nervous system finally exhale 🕊️From “Touched Out” to Genuinely Held: The difference between depleting physical demands at home and the healing power of consensual, supportive sisterhood 🫂Emotional Breadth & Healing: Stepping through the full spectrum of emotions (anger, grief, pride, and unapologetic joy) guided by somatic work, sound healing, and nourishing food 🍲🎶Honoring Your Boundaries: How our community practices self-regulation, handles triggers without shame, and claims the right to take space and solitude 🌲Finding Love & Fun Again: A hilarious (and surprisingly profound!) story about TSA flagging a Kamasutra deck, and why your capacity for pleasure and love doesn’t end with marriage 🔥😉Babes, the deep, bold, fully supported life you dream about isn’t just a fantasy—it is waiting for you, and you don’t have to earn it. Tune in, soak up the love, and remember that you never have to walk this path alone. 💕 Ready to find your people and join us for the next retreat? Join our private circle! Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY (all one word) to 33377 to apply and connect with our team. Special shout-outs & links mentioned in this episode: Sound Bath Facilitator: Alexander Coronado 🎶Somatic & Emotional Workshop Facilitator: Douchka Lecot  ✨Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Facing the Crossroads of Divorce With Community: Insights From the Stay or Go Retreat

  3. Oct 27 ·  Video

    Divorce Overwhelm: What to Do When Your Fuel Tank Hits Empty

    Episode 130: Feeling overwhelmed by divorce decisions and carrying the weight of everything on your own shoulders?  In this raw, unscripted episode, I’m inviting you right into the messy behind-the-scenes of my life. Just 48 hours before hosting our second Stay or Go retreat, my "fux to give" meter officially hit zero. Between unexpected neighborhood drama, hormonal burnout, and a tech glitch that threatened to wipe out hours of my work, my old trauma response kicked right in: overfunction, take control, and just push through at my own expense. 🌪️ That’s when my coach and soul sister Quinn caught me in the middle of that spiral and asked the game-changing question: What do you need right now? 💭 Together, we break down why so many of us in rocky relationships default to the exhaustion trap—believing we have to get everything done, fix every crisis, and keep all the plates spinning before we’re allowed to rest or make a move. Quinn brings back our powerful "Rocket Ship" analogy 🚀 to show you why you cannot launch your life on a half-empty tank, and why learning to pause and refuel in the moment is your greatest superpower. Tune in as we dive into: How to spot the CPTSD “overfunctioning” trap when life starts piling up Why high expectations and perfectionism will rob you of your fuel right when you need it most The life-changing power of asking, "Do I actually have to do this right now?" Letting go of control so you can finally be taken care of, too The miraculous synchronicities that opened the door for Quinn to join our retreat Take a deep breath, babe. You don't have to carry the whole world today. Pop in your earbuds, let’s get real together, and give yourself full permission to refuel. 💕 Show Notes: Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Divorce Overwhelm: What to Do When Your Fuel Tank Hits Empty

  4. Oct 20 ·  Video

    Why Collaborative Divorces and "Conscious Uncoupling" Fails with Immature or Controlling Husbands

    Episode 129: Why "conscious uncoupling" might be trapping you with a volatile spouse. Thinking you can gently off-ramp from a high-conflict marriage? In this heart-to-heart, I’m pulling back the curtain on why trying to use a collaborative divorce approach with an emotionally immature, volatile, or controlling partner doesn't work—and how it can actually be turned against you. This week, I felt called to drop in and talk about a dynamic I've been seeing repeatedly with my one-on-one coaching clients and session calls: smart, incredible women trying to apply a peaceful, Gwyneth Paltrow-style "conscious uncoupling" framework to partners who simply aren't capable of it. If you’ve been hoping for a calm, six-month separation or holding out for your spouse's permission to end things, we need to dismantle that fantasy today. We are diving deep into: 🚀 The Rocket Ship Divorce Strategy: Why high-conflict divorces require strategic, quiet preparation before taking swift, decisive action (no lingering!).🧠 The Neurobiology of Staying: How intermittent reinforcement creates a dopamine loop similar to gambling, making you doubt yourself and buy back into toxic cycles.⚠️ The Hidden Traps of Collaborative Divorce: Why informal negotiations can fail when facing financial hiding, stalling tactics, or coercive control.🧹 Spotting "Hoovering": The subtle ways spouses try to suck you back in through manufactured crises, grand promises, and intense guilt trips.I know how real the mental fog is when you've been managing volatility for years. There is absolute zero shame in needing high-touch, hands-on support to map out your exit safely. You deserve clarity, financial transparency, and true peace! ✨ Resources Mentioned in This Episode: 🔗 Work With Britta 1-on-1 — Apply for the Deep Dive One-on-One Coaching Container (Only 1–2 spots left! Book your vibe check today). 🎬 Documentary Mentioned: Death of the Pastor's Wife on Netflix 🎧 Listen to: When Husbands Don't "Lose Their Sh*t" During Divorce: A Success StoryAppleSpotify🎧 Listen to: You’re Not Alone: Misogyny, Violence, and Real-World Safety ToolsAppleSpotifySupport the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Why Collaborative Divorces and "Conscious Uncoupling" Fails with Immature or Controlling Husbands

  5. Oct 13 ·  Video

    Therapy, Psychiatry, or Coaching? How to Choose the Support You Need While Considering Divorce

    Episode 128: Therapy, Coaching, or Psychiatry: Which support do you actually need when considering divorce? In this episode, I’m breaking down the major differences between therapy, psychiatry, and coaching—and why all three can be absolute game-changers for your journey. Life has been super full over here in October! Between family, my clients, and prepping for our second Stay or Go community retreat, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what it actually takes to feel supported during one of the most intense seasons of your life. When you’re navigating the heavy question of whether to stay or go, you don't just need any support—you need the right support for where you’re at right now. Inside this episode, I share: 🧠 Therapy: Why soft, unhurried clinical spaces are essential for deep trauma, attachment wounds, and processing childhood patterns.💊 Psychiatry: My personal experience with late-diagnosed ADHD and how addressing neurochemistry can give you your bandwidth back when coaching or therapy feels stuck.🚀 Coaching: How we build forward momentum, interrupt emotional spin, and clear the windshield so you can stop second-guessing and take action.💡 The Self-Check: Questions to ask yourself to figure out which modality (or combination!) your nervous system and brain need right now—especially if you're working with budget constraints.There is nothing sexier than letting yourself be fully supported, my love. Tune in to learn how to audit your current needs and build a support team that meets you right where you are. ✨ Resources:  Apple - Episode 89: Could Undiagnosed ADHD Be Your Missing Piece? Spotify - Episode 89: Could Undiagnosed ADHD Be Your Missing Piece? Apple - Episode 81: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood Spotify - Episode 81: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Therapy, Psychiatry, or Coaching? How to Choose the Support You Need While Considering Divorce

  6. Oct 6 ·  Video

    Making the Darkness Conscious: Unpacking Shame, Shadows, and Wholeness in Your Marriage

    Episode 127: Am I a bad person for having an affair or showing up in ways that terrify me? 💔 If you’ve ever found yourself acting out of integrity, hiding secrets, or spiraling into intense shame, this episode is a safe space to breathe and drop the self-judgment. In this episode, we’re doing a deep dive into shadow work, making the darkness conscious, and reclaiming the exiled parts of yourself that have been locked away for far too long. 🔑 Inside this episode, we explore: ✨ Shadow Behaviors vs. Who You Are: Why engaging in taboo desires, affairs, or secrets doesn't mean you are a "bad" or "evil" person.📉 The Ineffectiveness of the Shame Spiral: Why beating yourself up and throwing deadbolts on your "basement" only makes shadow behaviors escape sideways.🌗 Embracing Yin & Yang: How to break free from the lie of being "all light" and step into true human wholeness.🥀 Blooming in a Closet: What to do when you’re paired with a partner who demands rigid perfection and refuses to tolerate human complexity.🌱 Reclaiming Exiled Desires: How to bring hidden parts of your sexuality, anger, or autonomy back into the living room of your life with adult integrity.Stop punishing yourself for the ways your starved parts are reacting to being locked away. It’s time to move out of black-and-white thinking and step into your full, vast, and authentic self! 💖 Links & Resources Mentioned Ready for Deep-Dive Support? I currently have only 2 spots open for my high-touch 1-on-1 coaching container before we launch the waitlist! Click here to book an Alignment & Clarity Call with BrittaLove the Podcast? Please take 30 seconds to rate, review, or leave a comment on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every review helps get this safe space into the hands of another woman who needs it today!Ep #11: Unmanaged Complex PTSD: How It Affects Your Life & RelationshipsApple: Do You Really Want a Divorce — or Are You in a CPTSD Flashback?Spotify: Do You Really Want a Divorce — or Are You in a CPTSD Flashback?Apple: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare UnderwoodSpotify: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare UnderwoodSupport the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Making the Darkness Conscious: Unpacking Shame, Shadows, and Wholeness in Your Marriage

  7. Sep 29 ·  Video

    Is Isolation Keeping You Stuck? Why Community is A Gamechanger While Considering Divorce

    Episode 126: Stop doing this alone. Discover why real, unshakeable sisterhood is the ultimate game changer when considering divorce—and how connection physically rewires your brain for strength. Lovies, welcome back! We are doing something a little different this week because we’ve hit a Fifth Tuesday—a rare moment on the calendar that only rolls around once every three months! My business advisor gave me the most gorgeous suggestion for these Fifth Tuesdays: take a breath, look back at past episodes that didn't get the love they deserved, and pull a hidden gem up to the surface. Today, we are resurrecting Episode 78, an episode recorded right after Quinn and I returned from our very first Stay or Go retreat. Y’all... Quinn is on fire in this conversation. She drops truth bomb after truth bomb, breaking down the neuroscience of support, why isolation is physically dangerous, and how true connection helps us heal internal misogyny and stop centering men’s emotions over our own lives. The timing couldn't be more synchronistic. As we pass into October 2026, we are celebrating two years of the Stay or Go community and preparing for our second annual retreat! Looking at this episode now gives me chills. A year ago, women were listening to this exact conversation feeling lonely, stuck, and terrified. They took the leap, joined the community, and this month, they’re celebrating radical personal transformation in person with me. Whether this is your first time hearing this episode or your fourth, let it hit differently today. Let it be your clarion call to stop waiting on the sidelines. What We Dig Into in This Episode The Difference Between Connection and "Performative" Relationships: We unpack Brené Brown’s definition of real connection and contrast it with the conditional, role-based relationships many of us grew up with in patriarchal or high-control systems.The Neuroscience of Sisterhood: Why having women in your corner physically increases your capacity to handle hard things and alters your brain’s perception of fear—turning an overwhelming threat into a manageable challenge.The Physical Danger of Isolation: Digging into the U.S. Surgeon General’s research showing that loneliness carries health risks equivalent to smoking and obesity.Decentering Men and Healing Relational Aggression: How shifting away from competing for male attention allows women to rebuild the broken maternal lines and form safe, sacred webs of support.What "Doing Your Own Work" in Community Looks Like: Why real community isn't a passive venting space or a codependent rescue mission—it’s a mirror, a net, and a container for deep self-responsibility.Show Notes:  Strong Ground - Brene Brown The Rise & Fall of Capitalism - Diabolical Lies Instagram Reel Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. - Surgeon General’s Advisory Doing Almost Anything is Better With Friends, Research Finds - Washington Post Davis AJ, Crittenden B, Cohen E. Effects of social support on performance outputs and perceived difficulty during physical exercise. Physiol Behav. 2021 Oct 1;239:113490. doi: 10.1016/j.physbeh.2021.113490. Epub 2021 Jun 15. PMID: 34139269. The role of social support and social identification in challenge and threat, perceived stress, and life satisfaction. Jamie C. Gillman, Martin J. Turner, Matthew J. Slater First published: 11 July 2024 https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12982 Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Is Isolation Keeping You Stuck? Why Community is A Gamechanger While Considering Divorce

  8. Sep 22 ·  Video

    Women Who Run With the Wolves: The Book That Started It All & Awakened My Wild Woman

    Episode 125: Reclaiming the wild woman within starts when we finally slow down and listen to our bodies.  In this episode, I’m leaning into deep trust, honoring my fatigue, and stepping away from the "push through it" culture. After battling intense PMDD and learning to honor my body’s natural rhythms, I felt called to share something soul-deep with you today: a cozy, fireside-style reading from the iconic introduction of Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. 📚🕯️ Seven years after my divorce, looking back at my taped-together copy of this book reminds me where my entire healing journey began. We dive into what it truly means to reconnect with the wild woman archetype, trust your intuitive inner knower, and stop shrinking yourself to fit into a world that doesn't hold space for your true nature. In this episode, we explore: 🌿 Honoring Body Cues: Why stepping back to rest and resource actually created more abundance and peace in my life.🐺 The Wild Woman Archetype: How connecting with your natural instincts helps you navigate difficult life transitions and divorce considerations.📖 A Soulful Reading: A deep dive into the intro of Women Who Run with the Wolves and why story is medicine for our healing.🛠️ Grounding Practices: Insights on our latest community workshop with Jenica Mills on nervous system regulation and embodiment.So grab a fresh cup of tea, wrap yourself in your favorite blanket, and let these words gently wash over you. It’s time to sing the flesh back onto our bones and return to ourselves. ☕💛 Episode Links & Community Resources: Donate to the GoFundMe: Click the link to read her powerful story and donate $10, $20, or whatever you can to help get her back on the road!Women Who Run With the Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola EstésJoin the Stay or Go Community: Text StayOrGoCommunity to 33777 to access Jenica Mills’ Grounding & Orienting workshop replay and get details on our upcoming October Retreat!Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Women Who Run With the Wolves: The Book That Started It All & Awakened My Wild Woman
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Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

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