The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce

Britta Jo
  • 4.6 (188)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

  1. 20h ago ·  Video

    If You Always End Up Being the Villain in Your Marriage, You Need to Know About DARVO

    Episode 124: Ever enter a conversation trying to address something that hurt you, only to walk away 20 minutes later feeling like you’re the one who messed up? 🤯 If you constantly find yourself apologizing for things your partner did, you aren't crazy - you might be experiencing DARVO. In this episode, I’m digging deep into DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) the ultimate playbook used by manipulators, narcissists, and emotionally immature partners to dodge accountability and flip the script on you. Together, we’ll break down: 🧠 What DARVO stands for and why it completely untethers your reality.💔 4 real-life stories illustrating how DARVO shows up in everyday conflicts, sexual coercion, avoiding responsibility during a crisis, and emotional punishment.🛡️ Why empathetic women are so vulnerable to this tactic (and how your best qualities get weaponized against you).🚪 How to spot the script so you can step out of the "crazy room," stop defending yourself, and reclaim your power and peace.Plus, before we jump into the topic, I’m sharing a very special request from my heart. I’m asking our amazing sisterhood to step up and help a wonderful young woman in deep financial need by supporting her GoFundMe. Let’s show up for each other! 💖 Links & Resources Mentioned: 🚗 Support the GoFundMe: Click the link to read her powerful story and donate $10, $20, or whatever you can to help get her back on the road!💬 Ready to untangle the confusion in your marriage? If your gut is reacting to this episode, don't figure it out alone. Text 90MIN (all one word) to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Get Unstuck & Empowered Session with me.⭐️ Love the show? Please take a quick moment to rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more women find the clarity and support they need!Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    If You Always End Up Being the Villain in Your Marriage, You Need to Know About DARVO

  2. Sep 8 ·  Video

    Lindsay Clancy & The Pressure for Women to Be Superhuman

    Episode 123: The Lindsay Clancy Case: Why So Many Women Are Drowning in Silence 💔 Is the pressure to hold everything together leaving you completely exhausted? If you are a deeply sensitive, high-functioning, or neurodivergent woman carrying the weight of a marriage that looks "good" on the outside while drowning on the inside, this raw, unscripted episode is for you. Today, I’m opening up about a deep, intuitive download that poured out of me after processing the collective grief, rage, and visceral reaction so many of us felt watching the Lindsay Clancy trial unfold. Inside this episode, we’re unpacking: 🛑 The Lindsay Clancy Case & Female Psyche: Why this tragedy hit such an unspoken nerve for women who recognize the terrifying reality of drowning without a safe harbor.⚡ Women as "Shock Absorbers": How we burn out trying to absorb the friction of failed systems, patriarchal expectations, and emotionally disconnected marriages.🌿 Somatic Healing & CPTSD: A personal walk-through of a recent trauma flashback I experienced, how my nervous system released it, and what true safety feels like.❤️‍🩹 Reframing Survival Tactics: Why affairs, overworking, or self-medicating aren't moral failings—they're desperate body responses to a lack of support.✨ Reclaiming Your Humanity: How to stop sacrificing your soul on the altar of keeping everyone else happy, and start building a life where you are genuinely held.You are not crazy, you are not broken, and you were never meant to carry this heavy load all by yourself. Take a deep breath, soft shoulders, and let's dive in together. 💗 Show Notes:  Jenna's Instagram Post Apple - What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera Spotify - What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera Apple - Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera Spotify - Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Lindsay Clancy & The Pressure for Women to Be Superhuman

  3. Sep 1 ·  Video

    Why Your Nervous System Matters When You’re Considering Divorce with Jennica Mills

    Episode 122: Somatic trauma release and nervous system healing with guest Jennica Mills. 🌿✨ Hey friend, welcome back! Today, we are taking a deep breath and dropping straight into something that every single woman considering divorce needs to hear. I am beyond thrilled to sit down with the incredible Jennica Mills—a somatic educator with over 22 years of experience in trauma release, sexual wellness, and embodiment work. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve completely lost yourself while trying to keep the peace, overfunctioning, or trying to manage everyone else’s emotions around you… this conversation is going to feel like a warm hug and a massive breakthrough all at once. ❤️ Jennica and I dive into: Why "calm" isn't the ultimate goal: Moving past standard nervous system regulation into true responsiveness 🌊Interoception & Neurosception: How to tune back into your body's wisdom so you can finally know your true "yes" and "no" 🔍The "Myopic Mirror": Why you might feel a deep conflict between who everyone else expects you to be and who your soul actually is ✨Orienting & Grounding: Why we have to build safety and capacity in the body before diving into deep trauma work 🌳It is time to give your body permission to step out of survival mode and into full-on intimacy with your life. Grab a tea, get comfortable, and let's drop in together! 🎧👇 Want to join Jennica live inside our Stay or Go Community? 💖 She is coming into the community for two powerful workshops on Orienting and Grounding! 📱 Text "stayorgo community" to 33777 to get onboarded so you don't miss out on dropping in with us live! Show Notes: Jennica's Website Jennica's Instagram Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Why Your Nervous System Matters When You’re Considering Divorce with Jennica Mills

  4. Aug 25 ·  Video

    How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce or Separation

    Episode 121: How to Have the Breakup Conversation When You Fear Conflict 💔 Having the breakup conversation with your spouse can feel utterly overwhelming, especially if you hate conflict or worry about how they’ll react. If you’ve been holding back your decision to leave simply because you’re terrified of bringing it up, take a deep breath. You are not alone, and you don’t have to navigate this dysregulating moment without a roadmap.  In this episode, I’m digging deep into what it actually takes to prepare for the separation or divorce talk. We’re moving beyond just finding the "perfect words" to focus on what matters most: your safety, your emotional grounding, and setting firm boundaries. Here is what we dive into together: 📋 Pre-Conversation Prep: How sorting out your logistics and knowing your rights beforehand gives you a grounded foundation.🔄 The Reality of EIPs: Why this conversation might not be "one and done" if you are married to an emotionally immature partner.💔 Grieving the Outcome: Accepting that no combination of words will magically make an emotionally volatile partner react calmly.🗣️ The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Framework: A simple 4-step script to state your boundaries clearly without getting pulled into emotional manipulation or drama.Remember, my love: you don’t need your partner’s permission or agreement to choose yourself. Tune in, take a slow breath, and let’s walk through this together. 🤍 Next Steps & Resources Mentioned: 🎙️ Episode 106 Apple: When Husbands Don't Lose Their Shit During Divorce🎙️ Episode 106 Spotify: When Husbands Don't Lose Their Shit During Divorce🎙️ Episodes 110 Apple: What Every Woman Deserves to Know (with Quinn)🎙️ Episodes 110 Spotify: What Every Woman Deserves to Know (with Quinn)🎙️ Episode 111 Apple: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted (with Quinn)🎙️ Episode 111 Spotify: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted (with Quinn)🎙️ Episode 85 Apple: Stop the Narcissist Hunt: Focus on How YOU Feel Instead🎙️ Episode 85 Spotify: Stop the Narcissist Hunt: Focus on How YOU Feel InsteadUnpaid labor Reel📚 Recommended Reading: Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People by Lindsay Gibson💬 Get 1-on-1 Support: Need a tailor-made roadmap for your unique situation? Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-minute coaching session with me.👯‍♀️ Join the Community: Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to connect with women who truly get it!Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce or Separation

  5. Aug 18 ·  Video

    Only You Can Save Yourself From Your Marriage: Reclaiming Your Personal Authority

    Episode 120: Reclaim your authority and trust your intuition when considering divorce. This episode is a banger, and I am speaking straight from the heart (and a little bit of fire 🔥). If you’ve been feeling stuck, exhausted, or constantly doubting your own reality, I want to land one fundamental truth in your heart today: In a world designed by and for men, trusting your own mind and body is a radically necessary act of self-preservation. 💡 In this episode, I’m opening up about a personal health scare with perimenopause and how easily even I caught myself outsourcing my authority to external "experts" who told me my symptoms weren't real. 🛑 We dig into how we as women, especially those considering divorce or coming out of fundamentalist religious environments, have been systematically programmed to believe someone else out there knows better than we do. Here’s what we’re breaking down together: 🛑 Reclaiming Your "Motherfucking No": Why ignoring your body’s signals is keeping you stuck—and how to start trusting your burnout, your boundaries, and your intuition over someone else’s comfort.💔 The "Good Guy" Trap: How subtle manipulation, emotional hijacking, and patriarchal rules teach us to make our unhappiness a "me problem" instead of seeing the system for what it is.🚪 No One Is Coming to Save You: Accepting that while no knight in shining armor is showing up to fix your marriage, you hold the steering wheel—and you don't have to drive alone.📣 A Word to My Male Listeners: Why patriarchal systems exploit you, too, and why reclaiming individual agency is a civic and human imperative.You hold more authority than you think, babe. It’s time to take it back. 💪✨ 🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode: Join the Stay or Go Community: Text STAYORGO to 33777 to surround yourself with women who have your back. 👯‍♀️Book a 90-Minute Strategy Session: Text 90MIN to 33777 to start doing the deep one-on-one work. 🗝️Recommended Episodes: Go back and check out my deep dive into Gerda Lerner's The Creation of Patriarchy and The Creation of Feminist Consciousness. 📚Episode 110: What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn OtreraEpisode 111: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera"The Men Are Not All Right"...Right? - Diabolical LiesInvisible Women - Caroline Criado PerezSupport the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Only You Can Save Yourself From Your Marriage: Reclaiming Your Personal Authority

  6. Aug 11 ·  Video

    Your Body Isn’t Broken, It’s Overstimulated (Why "Powering Through" Keeps You Trapped)

    Episode 119: Nervous System Regulation for Divorce & Decision Making: Why You’re Not Broken Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or trapped in your marriage and wondering why you can’t make a clear decision? In this episode of the Stay or Go Podcast, I dive deep into why your nervous system regulation is the ultimate key to moving from survival mode into steady clarity. If you've been judging yourself for feeling paralyzed, take a deep breath, you are not broken. Your body is just asking for physical safety before it can process life-altering choices. In this episode, we cover: 🧠 The Science of Your Autonomic Nervous System: A simple, approachable breakdown of the sympathetic "accelerator," parasympathetic "brake," and how they control your stress response.🛑 Why You Can’t "Power Through" Dysregulation: How survival mode keeps you trapped in immediate escapes (like buffering, scrolling, or overworking) instead of long-term clarity.🛠️ Real-World Somatic Tools: Simple, accessible practices you can use right now to ground yourself - including EFT tapping, fascia release, and muscle resets.🎨 Exciting Community Updates: I share the launch of the new Gorgeous Alter Ego Design Workbook (co-created with Quinn Otrera and Jess Jox) on Substack, plus the story behind the podcast’s brand-new logo!Links & Resources Mentioned: ✨ Get the Alter Ego Workbook: Join my paid Substack for just $11/month to snag the new workbook, access the Conscious Mind Mini-Course, and join our monthly live Q&As!👯‍♀️ Join the Stay or Go Community: Ready to stabilize your nervous system alongside an incredible group of women? Text StayOrGoCommunity (all one word) to 33377 to get instant access to all our calls, workshops, and 2026 content.💌 Work With Britta 1-on-1: Want personalized, deep-dive coaching to clear the fog and move forward? Check out my private coaching containers linked here and below. Human Garage (Fascia Work)Episode 118 - EFT tapping and resources linkedEpisode 118 Apple - EFT tapping and resources linkedEpisode 109 - AppleEpisode 109 - SpotifyEpisode 113 - SpotifyEpisode 113 - AppleDrop your shoulders away from your ears, place a hand on your heart, and let’s dive in together. Sending you so much love and steady ground! 🤍 Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Your Body Isn’t Broken, It’s Overstimulated (Why "Powering Through" Keeps You Trapped)

  7. Aug 4 ·  Video

    Stop Mansplaining Your Inner Child: EFT Tapping with Jess Johnson

    Episode 118: EFT Tapping for Nervous System Regulation & Somatic Healing with Jess Johnson  Ever feel like your mind knows you’re safe, but your body is still completely hijacked by anxiety, rage, or overthinking? 🤯 Babes, you are not crazy—and you definitely cannot "think" your way out of a body-level stress response! In today’s episode, I am freaking out with excitement because I’m joined by the incredible Jess Johnson, a former trauma therapist turned mind-body connection coach. Jess uses evidence-based EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping) to help high achievers, leaders, and women like us drop the self-doubt, stop tying our self-worth to productivity, and get our bodies actually on board with our healing. 🧠✨ We get super real, raw, and explicit about: 🕷️ The Science of Tapping: How two rounds of EFT literally cured Jess’s severe, life-disrupting arachnophobia.🧠 Mansplaining Your Inner Child: Why forced positive affirmations don't work until you give your true feelings a voice first.💥 Body vs. Mind Disconnect: What’s really happening when your emotional reaction doesn’t match the situation in front of you.🩺 Perimenopause, Rage, & Medical Gaslighting: Jess’s honest journey through physical burnout, finding the right support, and using EFT as "emotional Drain-o."🖐️ A Step-by-Step Tapping Guide: A mini-walkthrough of the exact EFT points so you can start getting instant somatic relief today!Whether you’re dealing with CPTSD emotional flashbacks, burnout, or making tough life transitions, this episode is full of science-meets-soul wisdom, zero-BS tools, and plenty of laughs. Pop in those earbuds and let's get into it! 🎙️✨ 🌟 Resources & Connect with Us: Join the Stay or Go Community: Text StayorGocommunity (all one word) to 33777 to get in ASAP for our upcoming live nervous system regulation workshops!  Jess’s Fun Side-Hustle: Don't forget to listen to her hilarious smutty book podcast, Between the Folds! 😉  Jess's Website: www.jessjohnsoncoaching.com Jess's Instagram: @jess.johnsoncoaching Get Jess's Free Basic EFT Workbook — Sign up for Jess's email list to instantly receive her step-by-step workbook to help you use EFT for your daily goals and nervous system regulation! Check out Jess Johnson's YouTube Channel for guided EFT videos, including: Tapping Meditations:📽️ WTF is EFT? (Playlist) — A great, beginner-friendly starting point!📽️ I Choose Courage📽️ EFT for Self-TrustPersonal "Tapping in the Wild" Sessions:Husband F*****y RecoveryProcessing Medical AnxietyAfghanistan Crisis TappingThe Science of Tapping by Dr. Peta Stapleton  TEDx Talk: Is Therapy Facing a Revolution? by Dr. Peta Stapleton EFT vs. EMDR Comparative Studies: Explore the latest clinical research comparing EFT and EMDR side-by-side at Evidence-Based EFT Comparative Studies. Brad Yates YouTube Channel — High-yield, approachable tapping videos from one of the pioneers in the EFT space!  Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Stop Mansplaining Your Inner Child: EFT Tapping with Jess Johnson

  8. Jul 28 ·  Video

    Leaving a "Good Guy" with Deep Wounds: Why Love Alone Can’t Save the Relationship

    Episode 117: Why Love Alone Can’t Save Your Marriage (And Leaving a "Good Guy" with Deep Wounds) Hi there, love. Place a hand on your heart and take a deep breath with me. 🤍 In today’s deeply personal episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on a recent, heavy experience that brought up a truth many women in our community struggle with: Why love alone cannot save a relationship, especially when you are considering divorcing a "good guy" who carries deep, unhealed wounds. 💔 After learning about the tragic passing of an ex-partner, I found myself revisiting the old scabs of a relationship filled with profound love, chemistry, and connection—but one where we were ultimately both drowning. 🌊 If you’ve ever found yourself wishing he would just cheat or do something terrible so you’d have a "clear line" to leave, I want you to know: You are not alone, and you are not crazy. Often, your empathy becomes the very cage that keeps you trapped in self-abandonment. In this episode, we unpack: 🕊️ The "Healing Fantasy": How childhood attachment wounds make us fall in love with potential instead of staying grounded in current reality.🧮 The "Compatibility Math": A neutral, shame-free framework to evaluate variables like childhood trauma, addiction, neurodiversity, and capacity.⚓ Drowning vs. Anchoring: Why two codependent, insecurely attached partners can’t pull each other to safety without a life raft.✨ Hope for Secure Attachment: How choosing yourself isn't selfish—it's the gateway to true, securely attached love (and why it's waiting for you on the other side).Loving someone doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your mental health, your peace, or your life purpose to keep them afloat. Let’s talk about how to look at the "math" of your relationship with radically honest, loving eyes. 🌿 Ready to Get Clarity on Your Next Step? 🕊️ Book a 90-Minute Clarity Drop-In Session: A focused, ground-level deep dive to map out your history, your relationship dynamic, and your immediate roadmap forward.✨ Apply for 1:1 Deep Dive Coaching (3 Months): High-touch, intimate support for women navigating the entire process of deciding whether to stay or go.Show Notes: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson  Episode 113 Apple: Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce (Exploring Mother Hunger & implicit memory)  Episode 113 Spotify: Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce (Exploring Mother Hunger & implicit memory)  Episode 12 Apple: Attachment Theory & Its Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage Episode 12 Spotify: Attachment Theory & Its Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage If this episode touched your heart, please pass it along to a sister who needs to hear it today. Sending you so much love! 💖 Support the show The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook  YouTube Channel Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

    Leaving a "Good Guy" with Deep Wounds: Why Love Alone Can’t Save the Relationship
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Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

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