The Real Stuff with Lucie Fink

Dear Media
  • 4.6 (276)
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The Real Stuff is a weekly podcast series hosted by Lucie Fink who has spent the past decade getting curious and creating engaging and educational content for an audience of millions. On this show, you won’t hear your favorite guests talk about things they typically share — rather, Lucie pulls them deep into some of the world’s most taboo topics, asking intensely personal questions about sex, money, and mental health, all in an effort to help you feel less alone as you navigate through the world. And the best part: we want to invite YOU onto the show. Apply to call in as an anonymous guest at luciefink.com/apply. Pop in your voyeuristic headphones, or call in and spill your secrets! Visit Lucie on Instagram (@luciebfink) and find the show across social media @therealstuffpod. 

  1. 2D AGO

    The Woman Who Healed Years of Mental Illness With Kink

    Today's audience caller, Cassidy, wrote in after I put out a casting call about kink, but what unfolded in our conversation went so much deeper than sex. It turned into one of the most layered discussions I've had on this show about mental health, medical gaslighting, abusive relationships, divorce, and ultimately, healing. Cassidy spent over a decade being told nothing was wrong with her. Doctors dismissed her symptoms, she cycled through diagnoses of depression, anxiety, and OCD, and it wasn't until 2021 that she finally got answers: autism and eventually a functional neurological disorder. All while surviving (though she didn't know it at the time) an emotionally and sexually abusive 22-year marriage. What I found so fascinating about Cassidy is how she eventually took her healing into her own hands, literally, by exploring rope bondage as a way to regulate her nervous system and rewrite traumatic neural pathways. And she does it with a level of self-awareness, nuance, and calm that honestly blew me away. There's also a moment in this episode I want to flag before you listen: I asked Cassidy point-blank how she could be so open on a public platform about her ex-husband, his abusive behaviors, and the details of their relationship. Her answer surprised me, and it says a lot about who she is. I always find myself fascinated by what makes some people willing to go fully on the record and others not, and this conversation gave me a lot to think about. Follow Cassidy: https://www.instagram.com/whisperingerudite/ Sponsors: Tru Fru: Find it now in the freezer aisle of your grocery store. Spindrift: Visit drinkspindrift.com and use code lucie for 15% off. Ritual: For a limited time, save 25% on your first month at Ritual.com/REALSTUFF Clean Simple Eats: Clean Simple Eats is undeniably clean and 100% delicious. Shop the best-tasting protein drinks at CleanSimpleEats.com. Blissy: Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep. Use code LUCIE for an extra 30% off at blissy.com/LUCIE Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX  To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.  I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.  Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod  Find Lucie here:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink Website: https://luciefink.com/  Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe Executive Producer: Cloud10 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    1h 3m
  2. The Woman Who Adopted a Baby Through Facebook

    MAY 12

    The Woman Who Adopted a Baby Through Facebook

    Today's caller, Liz, has one of the most incredible stories I've ever heard on this show. After connecting with a pregnant, homeless woman named Cassandra in a Facebook adoption group, Liz received a single photo of a newborn baby and a message saying that she had been listed as the mother on the baby's birth certificate...with no other explanation. That photo sent her, her sick husband, and her two kids on a six-hour drive to Pittsburgh, where they spent two weeks fighting the state, navigating emergency court hearings, and sitting in a NICU doing skin-to-skin with a baby born addicted to drugs. This episode covers open adoption, neonatal abstinence syndrome, the complicated ethics of intervening in someone else's crisis, and what it looks like to build a family in the most unexpected way imaginable. Sponsors: Clean Simple Eats: Clean Simple Eats is undeniably clean and 100% delicious. Shop the best-tasting protein drinks at CleanSimpleEats.com. Tru Fru: Find it now in the freezer aisle of your grocery store. Cotton: Learn more at TheFabricOfOurLives.com. Magnetic Me: New customers get 15% off sitewide at magneticme.com. Spindrift: Visit drinkspindrift.com and use code lucie for 15% off. Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX  To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.  I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.  Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod  Find Lucie here:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink Website: https://luciefink.com/  Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe Executive Producer: Cloud10 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    52 min
  3. The Woman Who Gets Paid to Read Smut

    MAY 5

    The Woman Who Gets Paid to Read Smut

    I have to be honest — when I put out the casting call for people with interesting jobs, I wasn't expecting anything quite like this. Alexandra Sunshine is a senior editor at Kensington Books and, as she describes herself, is the number one romantic editor in the U.S. right now — meaning she has acquired more projects in the romantic genre than anyone else in the country. And yes, "romantasy" means exactly what you think it means: fantasy worlds, magical creatures, swords and crowns... and a lot of very explicit sex. In this conversation, Alex takes me on a full tour of the spicy book world — from the BookTok explosion that completely disrupted publishing, to the sub-genres you didn't know existed (shifter romance, omegaverse, dark romance, "why choose"... we get into all of it). We talk about why women are devouring these books right now, what it says about female sexuality and modern relationships, and why the "touch her and die" trope is basically the ultimate female fantasy. We also get into the surprisingly funny realities of her job: copy editors fact-checking whether a sex position is physically possible, boardroom conversations about explicit content, and the "chili pepper scale" that her sales team ultimately rejected. We also ended up having a really honest conversation about my own book (the psychological thriller I'm currently working on), and Alex gave some genuinely great advice for anyone who's been sitting on a story idea and hasn't started yet. Follow Alex: https://www.instagram.com/Alexhsunshine/ Follow Kensington Books: https://www.instagram.com/kensingtonbooks/ Alex's Book Recommendations Rain of Shadows and Endings by Melissa Roehrich: https://amzn.to/4cZJg6A  Chasing the Wild by Elliott Rose: https://amzn.to/4d5ZcEe Chasing the Ring by Lauren Rowe: https://amzn.to/4cQZIY7 Chasing the Rush by Lauren Rowe: https://amzn.to/4tMkwWB Sponsors: Ogee: Thanks to today's sponsor, Ogee: A higher standard for beauty. Go to ogee.com/LUCIE and use code LUCIE to get 20% off certified organic makeup that performs like luxury. Quince: Go to quince.com/realstuff for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Magnetic Me: New customers get 15% off sitewide at magneticme.com Rhoback: Use code "REALSTUFF" on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Nanit: The Nanit Smart Baby Monitor System is 20% off for Mother's Day. Use code LUCIEFINK at nanit.com to get the 20% off plus a free travel case. Spindrift: Use code LUCIE at DrinkSpindrift.com for 15% off your next order of Spindrift. Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX  To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.  I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.  Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod  Find Lucie here:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink Website: https://luciefink.com/  Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe Executive Producer: Cloud10 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    1h 7m
  4. The Woman Who Loves Being Spanked

    APR 28

    The Woman Who Loves Being Spanked

    Today we have an audience caller episode for you and I am so grateful that Melanie wrote in because this conversation genuinely opened my mind in ways I wasn't expecting. Melanie is 34 years old, openly polyamorous, and has been practicing BDSM for 15 years. Her husband knows about her boyfriend. Her family knows she's in multiple relationships at once. And after a long-term relationship where she and her partner pushed the limits of BDSM together, she did something I had never heard of before: she created a detailed shared document — complete with a pain tolerance scale, body location charts, aftercare provisions, and a step-by-step guide to helping her reach "subspace" — and began sharing it with her sexual partners so they could learn the proper way to be with her. In this conversation, we get into all of it: Her sexual awakening from childhood through college, and how she first found her way into the BDSM communityWhat BDSM actually is beyond what 50 Shades of Grey showed us — and what people in that world are truly chasingWhat "subspace" feels like (hint: she compared it to a runner's high, a cold plunge, and giving birth all at once)The wildest experiences she's had, including a night at a BDSM dungeon in Atlanta with an audience of 40 to 50 peopleHow polyamory works when you're genuinely, deeply in love with your husband — and how she navigated telling her parentsWhy she sees jealousy as a "pointer emotion" and what that's taught her about herselfWhat she'd recommend to anyone who is BDSM-curious or poly-curious and doesn't know where to start What I loved most about talking to Melanie is that she approaches all of this with so much intention, communication, and self-awareness. She described herself as a "sex nerd," and I think that framing genuinely changed how I understood this whole world. It's not what most people picture — it's thoughtful, it's deeply personal, and it's fascinating. Follow Melanie: https://www.instagram.com/millicent.kent/  Sponsors: SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at https://www.skims.com/realstuff #skimspartner Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX  To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.  I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.  Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod  Find Lucie here:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink Website: https://luciefink.com/  Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe Executive Producer: Cloud10 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    1h 2m
  5. The Woman Who Gets Paid to Be a Bridesmaid

    APR 21

    The Woman Who Gets Paid to Be a Bridesmaid

    I have been fascinated by today's guest ever since I came across a profile piece about her when I was working at Refinery29. I never got the chance to film a Lucie for Hire episode with her back then, but when we recently put a casting call out for people who have interesting jobs, Jen wrote in and the rest is history. Jen Glantz is a bridesmaid for hire. Brides from all over the country and beyond pay her to show up to their wedding, stand in the bridal party, and be the supportive best friend they needs on their big day. She attends engagement parties, bachelorette trips, and bridal showers. She memorizes a fake name, a fake backstory, and every detail of the bride's life so she can blend in seamlessly. In most cases, not even the person the bride is marrying knows she's been hired. What started as a half-joking Craigslist ad posted on a frustrated Friday night has become Jen's full-time business, with packages starting at $2,500, an hourly rate of around $200, and a team of bridesmaids she can send when she's double-booked. She's worked over 100 weddings since 2014 and the stories she has from those weddings are absolutely wild. In this episode, we talk about the many reasons why brides actually hire her; what the job really involves, the craziest things she's witnessed on the job, the ethics of the whole thing, and the emotional whiplash of stepping back into real life after a weekend undercover. I was absolutely riveted by this conversation and I think you will be too. And whether you could ever do something like this yourself or not, I promise you'll be thinking about it long after the episode ends. Find Jen: www.bridesmaidsforhire.com www.jenglantz.com www.instagram.com/jenglantz/ Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX  To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.  I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.  Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod  Find Lucie here:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink Website: https://luciefink.com/  Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe Executive Producer: Cloud10 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    41 min
  6. The 1 Rule I Live By That Changed Everything

    APR 14

    The 1 Rule I Live By That Changed Everything

    In this solo episode of The Real Stuff, I'm sharing a theory I've been quietly developing for years. If you've ever watched my TEDx talk on The Power of Trying New Things, you know I've always championed getting out of your comfort zone. But today I’m going one layer deeper — asking the question: what is the underlying force that drives all of that trying? My answer: curiosity. I'm calling it The Curiosity Crisis — a societal theory about how and why adults gradually lose the childlike wonder they were born with, and what it's costing us collectively. Drawing on my own career journey — from pitching a YouTube show as a freshman at Johns Hopkins, to discovering stop motion animation, to launching this very podcast, to now writing a psychological thriller novel — I make the case that curiosity isn't just a personality trait. It's a life strategy. I break down the four forces I believe are dimming our curiosity light switches (societal skeletons, the burnout burden, toxic tech, and the fear factor), then I get practical. I share a handful of ways to start recharging your curiosity light bulb — from carving out just 10 minutes a day to explore something new, to practicing what I call "conscious content consumption," to simply looking up from your phone and noticing what's always been around you. This episode is equal parts personal reflection, cultural commentary, and pep talk. If you've ever felt stuck in a routine, disconnected from what excites you, or like you used to be a more interesting version of yourself, you’re going to want to listen to this. Thank you to our sponsors:  Clean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein drinks at https://www.CleanSimpleEats.com Blissy: Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep. Use code LUCIE for an extra 30% off at https://www.blissy.com/LUCIE Ogee: A higher standard for beauty. Go to https://www.ogee.com/LUCIE and use code LUCIE to get 15% off certified organic makeup that performs like luxury. SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at https://www.skims.com/realstuff #skimspartner Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX  To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.  I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.  Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod  Find Lucie here:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink Website: https://luciefink.com/  Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential Executive Producer: Cloud10 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    53 min
  7. The Woman Born Without a Vagina

    APR 7

    The Woman Born Without a Vagina

    I genuinely believe every single person needs to hear this conversation. Jackie Blankenship is an intersex advocate who was born with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome — meaning she has XY chromosomes, but her body couldn't respond to testosterone, so she developed externally female. She also has no internal reproductive system and no vaginal canal. And she didn't tell a single soul until she was 40. In this episode, Jackie walks me through everything: what it actually means to be intersex, what her childhood was like being told to keep her diagnosis a secret, the surgery she had at 15 that she wasn't fully informed about and didn't consent to, the dilation therapy she went through at 18, and what it was like navigating relationships, intimacy, and marriage while carrying this secret for decades. We also talk about her journey to motherhood — her sister served as her gestational carrier, and the process of choosing a donor egg is something you truly have to hear to believe. And then there's the moment that changed everything: Jackie won Mrs. America. And while crowning the next queen live on stage, she read aloud a rule that she realized — in real time — wouldn't have included her. That was the moment she knew she had to speak up. We get into intersex advocacy, nonconsensual surgeries on intersex children, what the word "intersex" actually means versus transgender, what it's like to come out publicly in today's politically charged climate, and why Jackie says she doesn't consider her diagnosis a disorder — just a really cool quirky trait that the world needs to understand better. This episode will genuinely expand the way you think about the human body, identity, and what it means to live authentically. Sponsors: Ritual: For a limited time, save 25% on your first month at https://www.Ritual.com/REALSTUFF Clean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein drinks at https://www.CleanSimpleEats.com Rhoback: Use code REALSTUFF at https://www.rhoback.com for 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Magnetic Me: Get 15% off at https://www.magneticme.com Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX  To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.  I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.  Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod  Find Lucie here:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink Website: https://luciefink.com/  Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential Executive Producer: Cloud10 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    1h 6m
  8. The Woman Who Had a Baby With Her Gay BFF

    MAR 31

    The Woman Who Had a Baby With Her Gay BFF

    I put out a casting call asking for audience members with unconventional family setups and Laura's submission stopped me in my tracks. Honestly? I think it should be a movie. Laura is 40, lives in New York City, and is mom to her almost-two-year-old daughter Adeline. But the story of how Adeline came to be is one of the most intentional, creative, and genuinely heartwarming things I've ever heard. After a divorce in her early 30s, a traumatic IVF experience, and years of navigating the dating scene with a “ticking” biological clock, Laura made a decision: she was going to become a mom — with or without a husband. What she didn't expect was that the answer would come in the form of a DM to a peripheral acquaintance named Lenny. In this episode, Laura opens up about uncoupling motherhood from marriage, the very practical (and sometimes hilarious) process of co-parenting with your gay best friend, what it actually costs to do IVF out of pocket in New York City, how they navigated co-parenting agreements and reproductive lawyers, and what their unconventional but deeply loving family unit looks like today. We get into egg freezing, embryo transfers, single motherhood by choice, platonic co-parenting, the mental load of raising a child across two apartments, dating as a single mom, and why Laura says becoming a mother made her feel more free — not less — when it comes to finding love. This one is sweet, funny, and just a little bit life-changing. If you've ever questioned the "traditional" path to building a family, you need to hear Laura's story. Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX  To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.  I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.  Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod  Find Lucie here:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink Website: https://luciefink.com/  Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential Executive Producer: Cloud10 Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    53 min
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4.6
out of 5
276 Ratings

About

The Real Stuff is a weekly podcast series hosted by Lucie Fink who has spent the past decade getting curious and creating engaging and educational content for an audience of millions. On this show, you won’t hear your favorite guests talk about things they typically share — rather, Lucie pulls them deep into some of the world’s most taboo topics, asking intensely personal questions about sex, money, and mental health, all in an effort to help you feel less alone as you navigate through the world. And the best part: we want to invite YOU onto the show. Apply to call in as an anonymous guest at luciefink.com/apply. Pop in your voyeuristic headphones, or call in and spill your secrets! Visit Lucie on Instagram (@luciebfink) and find the show across social media @therealstuffpod. 

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