What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection

Greg Oliver
  • 5.0 (53)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE to download new episodes as they release! If it's true that "...the opposite of addiction is not sobriety...the opposite of addiction is connection," there are lots of people who need to discover what true, healthy connection looks like. Whether the struggle is with addiction, toxic relationship dynamics, or something else, we've all tried to meet our needs in  unhealthy ways. Way too often, the things we run to for comfort leave us feeling even more disconnected and alone than before.Through conversations about the many ways we can connect, we offer an invitation to discover and move toward what we really want, so we can live the lives we were created for. Awaken (awakenrecovery.com) helps men and women whose lives have been wrecked by unwanted/addictive sexual behaviors and sexual betrayal trauma. We hope the podcast will help not only those struggling sexually, but anyone who seeks healthier ways of finding connection.

  1. 60 | Jay Stringer: Listen to the Voice of Desire, part 1

    4D AGO

    60 | Jay Stringer: Listen to the Voice of Desire, part 1

    "Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)" For people interested in digging deeply into their stories and better understanding themselves and the unwanted behaviors that plague them, few people have been as helpful as Jay Stringer. In 2018, Jay's book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing invited readers to a new approach to unwanted sexual behaviors: one that begins by "listening to our lust." Jay encouraged readers to see their struggles as a roadmap to past harms and current hinderances to freedom. Now he's released his second book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow. Moving beyond the singular experience of sexual struggles, Desire offers a critically important opportunity to better understand the core longings created in every person. To see desire as good, part of how we reflect the image of God. To be curious about our experiences with desire - how it's been encouraged, discouraged, or even prohibited. Through better understanding our relationship to desire, we can live more fully the lives we were created to live. This conversation was too good to abbreviate, so we split it into two parts... the second half will be available Tuesday, March 10. Jay lives in New York City with his wife Heather and their children. #jaystringer #unwanted #desire #storywork #sexuality #masculinity #counseling #coaching #gospel #sexualaddiction #sexaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Jay's website Jay's books (Amazon) Holistic Desire website Support the show Awaken website Roots Retreat Men's Intensive Roots Retreat Women's Workshop Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

    38 min
  2. 59 | Chuck DeGroat: Safety And Suffering

    FEB 17

    59 | Chuck DeGroat: Safety And Suffering

    "Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)" Does a focus on acknowledging trauma and providing safety create more resilient or fragile people? That question is at the heart of many charged discussions about therapy and trauma work. Virtually every contemporary therapeutic modality recognizes the impact trauma has on our current struggles. But many people feel it's too much focus, and that the result is people who can't handle anything difficult and who call "trauma" on everything that's hard in life. Chuck DeGroat has a lot to say about this. He has been a pastor, and is currently a therapist, author, and seminary professor (Western Theological Seminary) who specializes in pastoral & leadership health, abuse & trauma, and navigating spiritual & emotional obstacles on the faith journey. Chuck is the author of multiple books, including When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse and Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself and to God When You’re Weary, Wounded, and Wandering. He also authors a Substack page (Sit With Chuck), and a recent post is the subject of most of our conversation. Chuck lives in Grand Rapids, Michigan with his wife. They have two grown daughters. #chuckdegroat #sitwithchuck #connection #counseling #spirituality #growth #change #therapy #healing #trauma #narcissism #sexuality #addiction #betrayaltrauma #recovery #grace #gospel #transformation Chuck's personal page Sit With Chuck (Substack page, see "Safety and Suffering" posted 1/22/26) Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling program at Western Seminary Support the show Awaken website Roots Retreat Men's Intensive Roots Retreat Women's Workshop Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

    53 min
  3. 58 | Jenna Riemersma: Moving Toward, Not Fighting Against

    FEB 3

    58 | Jenna Riemersma: Moving Toward, Not Fighting Against

    "Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)" For anyone who has ever said, "A part of me wants to ________, but another part thinks it might not be a good idea..." This episode is for you. People actually ARE made up of many complex parts...it's part of how we reflect the image of God. And a counseling modality know as Internal Family Systems (IFS) that began in the 1980s has helped countless people better understand themselves and how they experience the world around them. Jenna Riemersma is a therapist who has become one of the world's leading experts in IFS. She is a Certified Sexual Addiction (CSAT) and Certified Multiple Addictions (CMAT) Therapist, and has written multiple books on IFS, including the groundbreaking Altogether You. Greg and Stacey got a chance to have a conversation with Jenna in which she gave a crash course in IFS - what it is, how it works, and how it helps people understand  and approach all their parts with curiosity and compassion. Jenna's website Jenna's books (on Amazon) Insight Timer app (Jenna has meditations in the app) Support the show Awaken website Roots Retreat Men's Intensive Roots Retreat Women's Workshop Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

    1 hr
  4. 57 | Juli Slattery: Longing To Be Known

    JAN 20

    57 | Juli Slattery: Longing To Be Known

    "Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)" Our guest for Episode 57 is a recognized expert in biblical sexuality. Dr. Juli Slattery has decades of experience as a therapist, author, and founder of the organization Authentic Intimacy. For years she has been helping women and men move toward healing from painful experiences with sexual brokenness, and developing a healthy view of their sexuality. Her podcast Java With Juli offers great, thought-provoking perspectives on sex and relationships, and her new book Surrendered Sexuality helps people better understand the significance and design of our God-given sexuality. In it she writes about how Jesus gave His life not primarily to change behavior, but to renew our identity—which is rooted in our union with Christ, not our wounds, feelings, desires, past or present sins, or purity. Embracing this will help us experience sexuality in the way God intended. #julislattery #drjulislattery #javawithjuli #surrenderedsexuality #connection #counseling #spirituality #growth #change #therapy #healing #trauma #sexuality #sexualaddiction #betrayaltrauma #recovery #grace #gospel #transformation Authentic Intimacy website Java With Juli podcast Surrendered Sexuality on Amazon Support the show Awaken website Roots Retreat Men's Intensive Roots Retreat Women's Workshop Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

    52 min
  5. 56 | Kristian Stanfill: A Long Walk With God

    JAN 6

    56 | Kristian Stanfill: A Long Walk With God

    "Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)" Since the late '90's / early 2000's, Passion Music has been blessing the Church with song after song to sing together. And one of its primary worship leaders is our guest Kristian Stanfill. Kristian is the voice you've heard on songs like "One Thing Remains," "Death Was Arrested," "Glorious Day," and "Come to Jesus." He is a passionate, enthusiastic worshipper and worship leader who leads at Passion conferences and at his home church, Passion City Church in Atlanta. There's another part of Kristian's life that became known over the past few years. In November 2020, a few of his closest friends confronted Kristian about his alcoholism. What had started as a crutch/escape from stress and difficult emotions had developed into an addiction and was out of control. What happened next is an amazing story of grace, healing, and recovery. After stepping out of the spotlight for a couple years, Kristian released Make It Out Alive, an album of songs written in his time with God in recovery. More recently he released Come to Jesus, a new collection of worship songs and real-life encouragements. Kristian lives in Atlanta with his wife Kerri and their kids. #kristianstanfill #passionmusic #cometojesus #makeitoutalive #worship #passion #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw  #connection #conversation Kristian's website Passion Music website Kristian on Instagram Support the show Awaken website Roots Retreat Men's Intensive Roots Retreat Women's Workshop Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

    55 min
  6. RE-RELEASE | Michael John Cusick: The Light is Brighter Than it Seems

    12/30/2025 · BONUS

    RE-RELEASE | Michael John Cusick: The Light is Brighter Than it Seems

    "Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)" RE-RELEASE. This episode originally released July 22, 2024. For men and women seeking recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, few people have been as influential or helpful as Michael John Cusick. Michael is a therapist,  author, and Founder/CEO of Restoring the Soul, a counseling practice that provides opportunities for life-changing breakthrough with licensed and experienced therapists. Their holistic approach creates an atmosphere of safety and grace where people can explore their relationships, identity, emotions, and spirituality. In 2012 Michael released the book Surfing For God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggles. It, along with Jay Stringer's book Unwanted, has been extraordinarily powerful in helping people discover what needs they are actually trying to meet when pursuing broken behavior. The book contains a story (that Greg and Michael talk about) that's part of the reason for our podcast's name! In early 2025 Michael released his second book, Sacred Attachment: Escaping Spiritual Exhaustion and Trusting in Divine Love. This book explores how an understanding of attachment theory can help tired and wounded Christians get "unstuck" in our relationship with God and experience the closeness he intended us to have with him. Restoring the Soul offers individual and group intensive therapy experiences, as well as a blog, podcast, and other resources. Check out Michael's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts! Restoring the Soul website Restoring the Soul podcast Surfing For God and Sacred Attachment (on Amazon) Training Session at Beeson Divinity School (2014) #MichaelJohnCusick #RestoringTheSoul #SurfingForGod #SacredAttachment #attachmenttheory #counseling #therapy #gospel #recov Support the show Awaken website Roots Retreat Men's Intensive Roots Retreat Women's Workshop Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

    46 min
  7. 55 | Chris McKenna: That's Just a Part of the Gig

    12/23/2025

    55 | Chris McKenna: That's Just a Part of the Gig

    "Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)" The scariest thing about kids and tech isn’t just what they can find—it’s what can find them. Greg & Bobby sat down with Chris McKenna, founder of Protect Young Eyes and president of Better Tech, to map a practical path through the chaos: clear relational scripts, layered technical guardrails, and a mindset that trades “set it and forget it” for steady, confident presence. Chris breaks the work into two buckets—relational and technical—and shows how the ratio shifts as kids grow. For little ones, lock down devices and avoid exposure; for teens, double down on agency and honest talk.  We explore the five habits of a tech-ready home (you'll want to get to know these). Chris outlines layered protection—router, device, location, and app—and explains why your router is the most important device you own. If your teen already has social media, you’ll get “ridiculously direct” scripts for sextortion-proofing and an approach that invites confession without shame. We also touch on policy and the broader movement: how Better Tech equips classrooms and pushes for laws that protect kids and hold platforms accountable. You don’t need a computer science degree to lead your family well—you need small, consistent actions and language your kids can remember when it matters. #chrismckenna #protectyoungeyes #bettertech #delayistheway #families #parenting #childhoodtrauma #adolescenttrauma #digitalresponsibility #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #recovery #connection #conversation ProtectYoungEyes.com The Better Tech Project Support the show Awaken website Roots Retreat Men's Intensive Roots Retreat Women's Workshop Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

    55 min
  8. 54 | Karrie Garcia: The Brain, The Body, & The Bible

    12/16/2025

    54 | Karrie Garcia: The Brain, The Body, & The Bible

    "Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)" Anytime we can encourage people in caring professions we love to do it! If you walk with, pastor, or counsel people going through hard times, this is a conversation you're going to want to hear. Karrie Garcia is a pastor, life coach, and author who inspires change in others by boldly sharing her journey to freedom. She has seen firsthand how God’s true redemptive purpose for our lives does not begin once we’re free from pain, rather it stems directly out of that pain. Since 2014, her nonprofit Freedom Movement has offered people the chance to process and heal on the road to freedom through offerings like workshops, certificate program and one-on-one coaching. By learning how spirituality and the body (particularly the brain & nervous system) are impacted by trauma, we can be more confident that the help we provide is truly helpful and addressing not only surface symptoms, but more importantly what's going on under the surface. Healing and freedom involve the brain, the body, and the Bible. #karriegarcia #freedom #freedommovement #freeandfullyalive #neuroscience #storywork #connection #counseling #caregivers #spirituality #growth #change #therapy #healing #trauma #vulnerability #recovery #grace #gospel #transformation Karrie Garcia website Freedom Movement website Free & Fully Alive (Karrie's book on Amazon) Support the show Awaken website Roots Retreat Men's Intensive Roots Retreat Women's Workshop Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

    56 min
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5
out of 5
53 Ratings

About

FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE to download new episodes as they release! If it's true that "...the opposite of addiction is not sobriety...the opposite of addiction is connection," there are lots of people who need to discover what true, healthy connection looks like. Whether the struggle is with addiction, toxic relationship dynamics, or something else, we've all tried to meet our needs in  unhealthy ways. Way too often, the things we run to for comfort leave us feeling even more disconnected and alone than before.Through conversations about the many ways we can connect, we offer an invitation to discover and move toward what we really want, so we can live the lives we were created for. Awaken (awakenrecovery.com) helps men and women whose lives have been wrecked by unwanted/addictive sexual behaviors and sexual betrayal trauma. We hope the podcast will help not only those struggling sexually, but anyone who seeks healthier ways of finding connection.

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