Create More Intimacy: A Podcast for Men

Alisa Stoddard
  • 5.0 (2)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Struggling to fix the distance in your marriage - even though you’ve tried everything? You’re not alone. This podcast is for high-achieving men who want more intimacy, better communication, and a stronger emotional connection with their wives. I’m Alisa, a certified relationship coach for men. I help husbands stop chasing sex and start creating real connection. Each week, you’ll get straight-talking, practical advice to help you feel more respected, appreciated, and connected at home. Whether you’re dealing with emotional disconnection, constant tension, or feeling unwanted - this podcast will help. You don’t need to walk on eggshells. You need a better way forward. And I’ll show you how.

  1. You’re Successful at Work. Why Does Marriage Feel So Hard? | Ep 43

    8H AGO

    You’re Successful at Work. Why Does Marriage Feel So Hard? | Ep 43

    Why Successful Men Feel Confident at Work but Insecure at Home You know how to handle pressure. You solve problems. You carry responsibility without collapsing. So why does your marriage sometimes feel harder than your career? In this episode, I break down why high-achieving, responsible men often default to productivity when things feel off at home, and what’s really underneath that pattern. We talk about fear of not being enough, subtle rejection, emotional leadership, and the quiet way distance builds when busyness becomes protection. If you’ve ever felt confident everywhere except in your own marriage, this episode will help you understand why and what shifts when you stop hiding behind performance. In this episode: Why productivity can become emotional avoidance The hidden fear of not being enough How disconnection quietly erodes intimacy What emotional leadership actually looks like If this resonates, book a call and let’s look at your specific patterns and how to shift them. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

    24 min
  2. You Tried to Step Up. Why Did It Make Things Worse? | Ep 42

    FEB 13

    You Tried to Step Up. Why Did It Make Things Worse? | Ep 42

    You tried to step up.You listened.You made an effort. And somehow, things didn’t get better. They got harder. In this episode, we talk about why that happens, and why effort alone often isn’t enough to create safety, trust, or closeness in a relationship. Many men assume that once they understand what their wife wants, change will naturally follow. But insight doesn’t automatically turn into new patterns. And when behavior only shifts briefly, it can actually make things worse, not because the effort wasn’t real, but because it didn’t last. We explore: Why talking can feel productive without leading to real change How short-term effort erodes trust instead of rebuilding it Why inconsistency teaches caution, not closeness How discouragement quietly turns into emotional withdrawal The difference between reacting during conflict and changing how you show up long-term This episode isn’t about fixing everything or doing more. It’s about honest self-assessment. The real question isn’t whether you tried.It’s what has actually changed, and whether it’s lasted beyond the next fight. If you’ve been confused by why your effort hasn’t translated into connection, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening, and where lasting change actually begins. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

    17 min
  3. Why Providing and Protecting Aren’t Enough in Marriage Anymore | Ep 41

    FEB 6

    Why Providing and Protecting Aren’t Enough in Marriage Anymore | Ep 41

    Many men were taught that being a good husband meant providing, protecting, and doing their part.That role made sense once. It doesn’t anymore. In this episode, I’ll break down why effort, money, and responsibility no longer create connection or desire in marriage, and why many men feel resentful and confused despite doing “everything right.” You’ll learn: The difference between a role and a relationship Why effort quietly turns into expectation and resentment How transactional thinking kills intimacy What protecting actually looks like in modern marriage Why many women stop “quietly carrying” the relationship in midlife What needs to shift for connection and desire to return This episode is for men who are working hard, doing their part, and still feel unappreciated, disconnected, or unwanted at home. If you’re tired of waiting for things to change on their own, this conversation will help you see what’s really happening, and what actually needs to change. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

    25 min
  4. Why Jokes and Defensiveness Kill Emotional Connection in Marriage | Ep 40

    JAN 30

    Why Jokes and Defensiveness Kill Emotional Connection in Marriage | Ep 40

    Many men use humor or defensiveness without realizing the cost. What feels like keeping things light or protecting yourself can quietly train your partner to manage emotions instead of feeling close to you. In this episode, I talk about how defensiveness really shows up, not just as arguments, but as explaining, joking, correcting, or stepping out of emotional moments. I explore how these patterns shape the way your partner comes to you, or stops coming to you, and how they affect your kids more than you may realize. This isn’t about blame or being the bad guy. It’s about understanding how small, habitual responses can slowly erode emotional safety, even when intentions are good. In this episode, we cover: How joking can be a way of avoiding emotional responsibility What defensiveness actually looks like in everyday moments Why your partner may be scanning the room or managing reactions How emotional labor quietly shifts onto one person The impact these patterns have on kids and family dynamics What responsibility really looks like without shame or self blame If you’ve ever felt like you’re trying, but things still aren’t landing, this episode will help you see why and what actually creates connection instead. If you want help changing these patterns and building real emotional safety and closeness, you can book a call with me at: 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

    17 min
  5. Why Being Helpful Isn’t Creating Emotional Connection | Ep 39

    JAN 23

    Why Being Helpful Isn’t Creating Emotional Connection | Ep 39

    What’s more common is something quieter and harder to see. Instead of staying emotionally engaged, many men shift into fixing mode. They manage logistics, handle responsibilities, and stay productive, believing closeness will eventually follow. But fixing doesn’t create intimacy. It often replaces it. In this episode, we talk about how emotional engagement slowly gives way to efficiency and avoidance, why “doing things together” feels like a breakthrough only after intimacy is already gone, and the relational skill most men were never taught. This isn’t about date nights or doing more. It’s about understanding what happens when connection starts to feel risky, and why effort alone doesn’t bring intimacy back. If you’ve been confused about how you ended up feeling distant in your marriage, this episode will help you see the pattern clearly and understand what’s actually missing. In this episode, we cover: Why fixing and productivity feel safer than emotional connection How avoidance quietly replaces engagement over time What the absence of shared experiences really signals The skill most men were never taught about staying emotionally present Why awareness alone doesn’t change this pattern How to honestly assess where you may be stuck If this episode helps you see yourself or your relationship more clearly and you want help understanding what this looks like in your marriage, you can book a call with me to get clarity on what’s happening and what would actually help. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

    17 min
  6. Why Talking About Intimacy Keeps Backfiring for Men | Ep 38

    JAN 16

    Why Talking About Intimacy Keeps Backfiring for Men | Ep 38

    Most men believe the problem with intimacy is how or when they ask. They try to communicate better.They wait for the right moment.They rehearse the conversation in their head. And it still backfires. In this episode, I talk about why asking for intimacy often creates more distance instead of connection, and what actually needs to change for intimacy to feel natural again. We explore how many men unknowingly show up with adolescent energy, hinting, joking, hovering, or avoiding rejection instead of leading with clarity and steadiness. We also unpack why overworking and staying busy becomes a way to avoid vulnerability, even when it looks responsible on the surface. This conversation is about emotional leadership, not tactics or tricks.It’s about how you carry yourself in your relationship and why that matters more than the words you use. In this episode, you’ll hear about: Why talking about intimacy often makes things worse instead of better The difference between asking directly and hinting out of fear How joking, grabbing, or staying light can quietly shut desire down Why checking off tasks doesn’t create partnership or attraction The overworking pattern many men fall into when connection fades What emotional leadership actually looks like in real relationships How intimacy changes when a man shows up with steadiness and clarity If you recognized yourself in this episode, especially in the patterns around overworking, hinting, or pulling away, that awareness matters. If you want clarity about what’s actually happening in your relationship and whether you’re ready to change how you show up, you can book a call through my website. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

    20 min
  7. Stop Hoping Your Marriage Will Get Better | Ep 37

    JAN 9

    Stop Hoping Your Marriage Will Get Better | Ep 37

    Most men don’t realize how much waiting is costing them in their marriage. In this episode, I will explains why hoping things improve on their own keeps men stuck, how fear of rejection leads to emotional hiding, and where real change actually begins. This is a grounded, honest conversation about agency, connection, and what’s possible over the next twelve weeks if you stop waiting and start engaging differently. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why waiting feels responsible but slowly creates distance How fear of rejection leads men to pull back emotionally Where your real influence in the marriage actually lives What starts to change when you stop waiting and engage differently If this episode helped you see your situation more clearly and you’re wondering what’s possible with support, you can book a call to talk it through. A call is simply a place to get clarity on what’s realistic and whether help would make a difference. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

    14 min
  8. You Don’t Need a New You, You Need a Different Approach | Ep 36

    JAN 2

    You Don’t Need a New You, You Need a Different Approach | Ep 36

    The holidays are over, and instead of feeling hopeful, many men feel clearer about the disconnect in their relationship. They showed up.They put in effort.And it still didn’t bring them closer. In this episode, I talk about why effort alone often misses the mark in long term relationships, how that creates frustration and resentment over time, and what actually begins to change when the approach shifts. This is not a motivational episode and it’s not about becoming a new version of yourself. It’s about understanding why what you’re already doing isn’t landing, and what creates real support and connection instead. This episode is for men who are tired of repeating the same patterns and want a grounded, realistic way forward. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

    13 min
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About

Struggling to fix the distance in your marriage - even though you’ve tried everything? You’re not alone. This podcast is for high-achieving men who want more intimacy, better communication, and a stronger emotional connection with their wives. I’m Alisa, a certified relationship coach for men. I help husbands stop chasing sex and start creating real connection. Each week, you’ll get straight-talking, practical advice to help you feel more respected, appreciated, and connected at home. Whether you’re dealing with emotional disconnection, constant tension, or feeling unwanted - this podcast will help. You don’t need to walk on eggshells. You need a better way forward. And I’ll show you how.

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