Surfing the Quicksand

Kathy Vines
  • 5.0 (13)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
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Helping midlife women get unstuck – at home, at work, in our relationships, from ourselves – one chat at a time. Host Kathy Vines explores all sorts of ways we can get stuck and brings us together to see the possibility and strike a path forward and get UNstuck. Come for education, inspiration, entertainment, and action! Podcast Engineer: Nate Winchell Music: "Take Off," Luke Bergs & Waesto (licensed material) Presented by Clever Girl Organizing, Inc.

  1. Empty Nest and Open Palms: Navigating Midlife with Curiosity and Self-Compassion with Meredith Wakelyn (Ep 135)

    4D AGO

    Empty Nest and Open Palms: Navigating Midlife with Curiosity and Self-Compassion with Meredith Wakelyn (Ep 135)

    In this deeply reflective conversation, Kathy sits down with therapist Meredith Wakelyn to explore what it means to navigate multiple identity shifts at once in midlife. From unexpected health changes to the emotional complexity of empty nesting and evolving relationships with adult children, Meredith shares her experience of learning to listen to her body, release long-held habits, and redefine her role as both a parent and a professional.  Together, they unpack the subtle but powerful shifts that come with this stage of life, where pride gives way to vulnerability, obligation transforms into intentional commitment, and control softens into trust. Meredith offers practical wisdom on tuning into your own signals, setting boundaries with love, and embracing a more spacious, evolving version of yourself.  This episode is a reminder that midlife isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about learning how to respond, with curiosity and compassion, to what’s changing.  Key Takeaways:  Midlife is a convergence of identity shifts, not just one change. Health, career, parenting, and relationships often evolve simultaneously, requiring constant recalibration of who you are and how you show up.  Your body may change the rules. Listen to it. What worked in your 30s or 40s may no longer serve you. Paying attention to subtle signals (sleep, recovery, energy) can reveal important truths about your health.  Small habits can have outsized impacts in midlife. Even moderate alcohol consumption can significantly affect sleep, blood pressure, and overall well-being, especially during perimenopause and menopause.  Asking for help is a turning point, not a failure. Letting go of pride and reaching out during professional uncertainty can open doors and restore momentum.  Parenting adult children requires a complete role redefinition. The shift from hands-on parenting to “consultant and safe landing” requires intentional communication, boundaries, and emotional flexibility.  Choose commitment over obligation in relationships. Relationships thrive when they are chosen, not required, creating more authentic, respectful, and meaningful connections.  About Meredith Wakelyn:   As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 30 years of experience, Meredith Wakelyn helps individuals, couples, families, and college students overcome life’s difficult challenges. She believes supportive, effective therapy builds emotional resiliency to cope with stress and crises, helping us manage negative experiences. Her specialties include EMDR & Trauma Therapy, Individual Therapy, and Couples Therapy.   Married for over 30 years and a mother to two twenty-something children, Meredith lives a life grounded in mindfulness and balance in Denver, CO. She finds joy in yoga, running, snowboarding, paddleboarding, cooking, and reading, and cherishes time spent with loved ones. Meredith lives her life to the fullest, bringing presence and purpose to everything she does.

    46 min
  2. When Women Feel Well, Everything Changes: Exploring Hormones and HRT (EP 134)

    MAY 14

    When Women Feel Well, Everything Changes: Exploring Hormones and HRT (EP 134)

    Episode Summary: “When women feel well, everything changes.” That simple statement becomes the foundation for a powerful and eye-opening conversation with family nurse practitioner and menopause specialist Magen Price.  In this episode, Kathy and Magen break down the realities of perimenopause and menopause, from the hormonal shifts happening in the body to the emotional and identity-level impact many women experience. Magen debunks common myths, explains hormone replacement therapy in clear, accessible terms, and shares why so many women feel dismissed or confused when seeking care.  Together, they explore how this phase of life can feel destabilizing but also deeply transformative and how the right support, information, and advocacy can help women move from confusion to clarity.  Whether you’re in your late 30s, midlife, or beyond, this episode offers both validation and actionable guidance to help you better understand your body and advocate for your health.  Topics We Cover:  Hormones 101: estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone explained   Early signs of perimenopause (that most people miss)   Why anxiety, sleep disruption, and identity shifts are often hormonal   Body-identical vs. synthetic hormones - what’s the difference?   The surprising preventative benefits of HRT (heart, bone, brain, and more)   Why vaginal estrogen is a “game changer” for long-term health   The real risks, and how they’re often misunderstood   How to advocate for yourself with medical providers   Resources and Mentions:   Mystic Valley Sexual Wellness, Magen’s concierge women’s health practice: https://www.mysticvalleysexualwellness.com   Magen’s Midlife Library, with patient guides: https://mysticvalley.podia.com/    Instagram: @magenpricenp   Instagram: @mysticvalleysexualwellness    Some statistics referenced in the episode:   Women are leaving the workforce due to menopause-related symptoms:   https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/pb-assets/Health%20Advance/journals/jmcp/JMCP4097_proof.pdf   Untreated hip fractures in elderly women:  https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-dangerous-is-a-broken-hip-when-youre-older-2223520   Vaginal Estrogen seen as helpful for women in preventing urinary tract infections:   https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378(23)00309-5/abstract   https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8058921/   DVT/Clot risks with HRT Transdermal Patches  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/search/research-news/2958/     About Magen Price  Magen Price is board-certified Family Nurse Practitioner, a Menopause Society Certified Practitioner, and an AASECT-Certified Sex Counselor with a passion for helping women navigate the complex, often-overlooked transitions of midlife.   She started in community health as a primary care provider, and the created a Sexual Wellness specialty there, blending sexual medicine, hormone management and intimacy counseling.   In 2025, she founded her private practice, Mystic Valley Sexual Wellness, to do what the traditional healthcare system too often cannot: offer thoughtful, individualized, evidence-based care for women navigating perimenopause, menopause, sexual dysfunction, low libido, and intimacy challenges.  She’s passionate about correcting medical misinformation and bringing education to her patients and to health care providers about menopause and sexual medicine, and advocating for evidence-based, compassionate care that truly honors a woman’s quality of life.

    1h 2m
  3. The Courage to Follow the “What If” with Julie Thomas (EP 133)

    MAY 7

    The Courage to Follow the “What If” with Julie Thomas (EP 133)

    What happens when you leave a career you love, not because you’re burned out, but because another opportunity keeps whispering, “What if?”  In this Midlife Leap episode, Kathy talks with former middle school teacher Julie Thomas, who spent 16 years teaching seventh-grade English before stepping away from her dream job to explore an unexpected entrepreneurial path.  What began as a side investment in short-term rental properties gradually evolved into a full-scale pivot, complete with the emotional rollercoaster of leaving a beloved career, navigating imposter syndrome, and learning how to build a business from scratch.  Julie shares the realities of solopreneurship: the loneliness of leaving a team environment, the financial uncertainty of building something new, and the constant pressure of being responsible for your own success.  But her story also reveals something powerful about midlife reinvention: sometimes the path forward isn’t the one you planned. Through a series of unexpected conversations and a willingness to stay open to possibility, Julie discovered a completely new business, rooted in something she loved, and maybe for longer than she realized.   In this conversation, Kathy and Julie explore the courage it takes to pivot, how to listen to your intuition, and why trusting that you’ll “figure it out” might be the most important skill of all.  Key Takeaways  Sometimes you leave a career you love not because it’s wrong, but because something new calls to you. Julie wasn’t burned out. She loved teaching and had her dream position. But a growing real estate venture (and a new baby!) forced her to reevaluate how she wanted to spend her time and energy. Entrepreneurship can be lonelier than people expect. Leaving a highly social profession for solo work brought unexpected emotional challenges. The loss of daily collaboration and feedback can be one of the biggest adjustments when starting a business. Imposter syndrome often appears when we move outside our formal training. Julie felt confident teaching others about rentals, but running the business itself -marketing, finances, client acquisition - was an entirely new skill set she had to learn in real time. Midlife reinvention often requires multiple pivots—not just one big leap. Julie’s journey wasn’t a single decision. It included leaving teaching, launching coaching, exploring property management, returning to substitute teaching temporarily, and finally landing in design. The most powerful mindset shift: trusting that you’ll figure it out. Julie realized that even if a risk didn’t work out, she trusted herself to adapt. That belief made it easier to pursue opportunities that felt both exciting and scary.   Resources and Mentions:  Follow Julie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/strvisionary/     About Julie Thomas  Julie Thomas is the owner of The STR Edit based in Minneapolis. She pivoted from her long and happy career in middle school teaching to a world of short-term rentals (STR): owning them, coaching others on how to build a business around them, and now, designing them for other STR owners.

    49 min
  4. Reinvention Never Goes Out of Style – Mary Lou Andre (EP 132)

    APR 30

    Reinvention Never Goes Out of Style – Mary Lou Andre (EP 132)

    In this episode, Kathy sits down with stylist, entrepreneur, and founder of Dressing Well, Mary Lou Andre, to talk about what it really takes to reinvent yourself, again and again, over a decades-long career.  Mary Lou shares the story of how the pandemic forced her to rethink nearly every aspect of her business. As corporate speaking engagements and in-person services disappeared overnight, she pivoted quickly into online communities, memberships, and new offerings designed to meet her clients where they were. Along the way, she invested in coaching, education, and technology to rebuild her business for a new era.  But the reinvention wasn’t only professional. After pushing herself to the brink while rebuilding her company, Mary Lou realized she needed to apply the same strategic thinking to her own well-being. That meant slowing down, reassessing priorities, and creating new boundaries around how she works and lives.  Today, her work focuses not just on style, but on helping women in midlife align their appearance, lifestyle, and goals with who they are now. Through community programs, retreats, and consulting, she helps women simplify their wardrobes, embrace comfort and authenticity, and step confidently into their next chapter.  Kathy and Mary Lou explore how entrepreneurs must continuously evolve alongside the people they serve, why intuition matters more than ever in business decisions, and how building real community has become the foundation of meaningful work.  They also discuss current fashion trends for midlife women, why capsule wardrobes and comfort are dominating style conversations, and how clothing can help people show up in the world with confidence and intention.  This conversation is a powerful reminder that reinvention isn’t a one-time event—it’s a lifelong practice.  Key Takeaways  Reinvention requires letting go of things that once worked. Even successful programs and revenue streams may need to be retired when they no longer serve your current audience.  Imperfect action beats waiting for perfection. The pandemic forced many entrepreneurs to show up on camera, try new technology, and experiment before they felt ready.  Your intuition is a critical business tool. Advice from others can be helpful, but ultimately you have to trust your own instincts about what is right for you.  Success without sustainability comes at a cost. After pushing herself to rebuild her company, Mary Lou realized she needed to apply the same strategic thinking to her personal wellness.  Community is the new currency. People are craving meaningful connection, safe spaces, and shared experiences more than passive content.    Resources and Mentions:   Mary Lou’s company page: https://www.dressingwell.com   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dressingwell   Instagram: @marylouandrestyle   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-lou-andre/    Mary Lou's Book: https://amzn.to/4tyLssF  (paid link) The Wheel of Life (one example): https://www.startofhappiness.com/wheel-of-life-a-self-assessment-tool/ About Mary Lou Andre   Mary Lou Andre is the founder of Dressing Well, Inc. where she leads a team of stylists who provide wardrobe consulting and personal branding services for executives, entrepreneurs, politicians, media personalities, and even young men and women just starting out in their careers. She is an executive coach, an author, a television host, a speaker, and is one of the country’s most sought out experts on executive presence and style, appearing on national tv, magazines, and newspapers regularly.   After the pandemic impacted her deeply-in-person service business, she navigated to online community building, like with the Dressing Well Insiders, as well as The Lifestyle Collective, a group membership program blending their signature approach to personal style with an expanded focus on whole-person wellness, beauty, and empowered living.

    1h 6m
  5. Midlife Beauty is Skin Deep: What Your Dermatologist Really Wants You to Know (EP 131)

    APR 23

    Midlife Beauty is Skin Deep: What Your Dermatologist Really Wants You to Know (EP 131)

    Midlife brings a lot of changes to our bodies, and our skin is no exception. But how do we know what’s normal, what’s preventable, and what might actually require a doctor’s attention?  In this episode, Kathy talks with dermatology Physician Assistant Amy Akland about the realities of skin health in midlife. From identifying warning signs of skin cancer to understanding hair loss, collagen loss, and everyday skincare routines, Amy breaks down what actually matters (and what’s mostly marketing hype).  They also talk about how women often miss their own warning signs, why sunscreen habits matter more than we think, and why hair loss can be emotionally difficult but often treatable.  The message is refreshingly simple: good skin health doesn’t require a complicated routine. We just need the right habits and pay attention to our body.  Key Takeaways  Know the warning signs  Understanding warning signs for melanoma and other skin concerns can go a long way to determining when to seek medical attention, but an annual dermatology review can ensure you’re getting seen in all the right places.     Skin cancer doesn’t only appear where you get sun  While sun exposure is a major risk factor, skin cancers can develop anywhere you have skin — even in areas rarely exposed to sunlight.   A broad-spectrum sunscreen matters more than we realize.  Apply to exposed skin every day, year-round. Reapply every 2 hours, or hourly in intense sun. Effectiveness is used up by sun exposure, not just swimming or sweating.     Midlife skin loses collagen and elasticity  As we age, collagen (skin’s structural support) decreases and elastin (skin’s ability to bounce back) decreases. While we can’t fully restore elastin, certain treatments, especially retinoids, can help stimulate collagen production over time. Results take patience: 3–6 months or longer.  A simple skincare routine often works best  Despite the endless products marketed to women, a dermatologist-approved routine can be surprisingly simple: Morning: Gentle cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen, and Vitamin C antioxidant serum. Night: Gentle cleanser, moisturizer, retinoid or retinol (if desired). Consistency matters more than complexity.  Hair loss in midlife is common, and often reversible  Many women experience hair changes due to hormonal shifts, thyroid issues, iron deficiency, medications, stress, and weight changes. A common form is telogen effluvium, where hair temporarily sheds after a stressor. The encouraging news: Most cases improve on their own within 3–6 months, though regrowth can take longer.    ABOUT AMY AKLAND  Amy Akland is a Physician Associate with 18 years’ experience in medical dermatology in and around Boston, Massachusetts. She holds a Master of Science in PA studies, a Bachelor of Science in Health Studies and a Bachelor of Arts in Environmental Studies. Her practice focuses on prevention and treatment of skin cancers, management of common skin diseases, and a practical approach to skin care.

    59 min
  6. Betting On Yourself in Midlife - Angela Burk (EP 130)

    APR 16

    Betting On Yourself in Midlife - Angela Burk (EP 130)

    What happens when a long-buried idea resurfaces decades later, and you finally decide to act on it?  In this episode, Kathy talks with Angela Burk, author of The Real Girl’s Guide to Midlife, about the winding road that led her from a successful corporate marketing career to writing a deeply personal book about identity, reinvention, and reclaiming your voice.  Angela shares how a forgotten red folder full of ideas from twenty years earlier resurfaced while she was cleaning out her desk after retirement. Inside were the same questions many women wrestle with in midlife: questions about ambition, identity, relationships, pleasure, and purpose.  Instead of dismissing the idea again, Angela decided to bet on herself.  Within one year of retiring, she wrote, self-published, and launched her book, all while confronting the old internal scripts that told her she wasn’t creative, shouldn’t speak too boldly, or needed to soften her voice.  In this conversation, Angela reflects on the courage it takes to question those old narratives, the discipline of writing honestly, and how creative expression can become a powerful tool for healing and self-forgiveness.  You’ll also hear how redefining success (even if only three people bought the book) gave her the freedom to create something deeply meaningful.  This episode is a reminder that sometimes the most powerful midlife reinvention begins with one simple question:  Why not me?    Key Takeaways  1. Midlife can be a time of reclaiming your voice. Angela realized she had spent decades softening her opinions and desires. Writing the book became a commitment to stop doing that.  2. The stories we tell ourselves can hold us back. For years Angela believed she wasn’t creative, until her son pointed out that writing is creativity.  3. Betting on yourself is a radical act. Angela’s goal wasn’t fame or sales. It was finishing something meaningful and proving to herself she could do it.  4. Creativity can be deeply healing. Through writing, Angela found herself revisiting earlier chapters of her life with compassion and grace.  5. Sometimes the best goals are the ones you set for yourself alone. Angela’s one-year deadline wasn’t about external pressure — it was about honoring a promise to herself.    Resources and Mentions:   Read Angela’s Book: Real Girl’s Guide to Midlife https://amzn.to/4roPkLb (paid link)  Angela’s website: https://www.realgirlsguide.com  Angela’s Substack: https://substack.com/@realgirlangela    Instagram @realgirlsguide55       About Angela Burk:  Angela Burk is an award-winning high-tech Marketing Leader, Author, and the voice behind Real Girls Guide to Midlife, a community reshaping how women step into midlife with radical self-possession. After three decades scaling companies from scrappy pre-IPO startups to global Fortune 500 giants, she left the C-suite to focus on consulting, writing, and telling the truth about what it really means to live on your own terms.    Her Substack and this book blend personal stories with hard-won insight and expert guidance, delivering real talk, sharp observations, and a voice women can relate to immediately.    Angela divides her time between the San Francisco Bay Area and Australia and is a mom to three boys and a stepmom to four more kids.

    57 min
  7. Parent the Child You Have: Helping Students Build Skills That Stick (Ep 129)

    APR 9

    Parent the Child You Have: Helping Students Build Skills That Stick (Ep 129)

    Supporting kids with organization, motivation, and follow-through isn’t about creating perfect systems; it’s about understanding development, executive function, and who the child actually is.  In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines talks with Tiffany Blassingame, educator, professional organizer, and academic life coach, about how families can move beyond power struggles and rigid expectations to create systems that truly support students.  Tiffany explains why executive function skills, like time management, planning, and task initiation, can’t be forced through compliance, and why treating the student as the client changes everything. Drawing on her experience as both an educator and a parent, she shares practical insights on device management, environmental design, and helping kids build agency rather than dependence.  They also explore how parents can shift from “fixing” to partnering, why analog solutions sometimes solve digital problems, and how understanding peak energy times can unlock motivation for both kids and adults. The conversation closes with Tiffany’s personal reset rituals and her refreshing reminder that stepping away (physically and mentally) can be the key to getting unstuck.  Key Takeaways  Executive function is developmental, not a character flaw. Kids aren’t lazy or defiant; they’re building skills in real time.  Parent the child you have, not the one you wish you had. Systems must match this child’s brain and capacity.  The student is the client. When kids have agency, systems are more likely to stick.  Environment matters. Physical and digital spaces can either reduce or increase cognitive load.  Devices aren’t “bad,” but they do need boundaries. Analog tools can sometimes solve modern problems more effectively.  Motivation follows energy. Scheduling hard tasks during peak times makes avoidance less powerful.  Stepping away creates clarity. Physical distance and reduced device use can reset both mind and body.  Resources & Mentions  Follow Tiffany on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tblassingame/  Tiffany’s company – Simple Organization: https://www.simpleorganization.org     About Tiffany Blassingame   Tiffany Blassingame, owner of Simple Organization, offers strategies to help busy adults and their families go from chaos to calm by achieving wellness through organization and productivity. Tiffany's varied experience as an educator makes it natural for her to specialize in student organization. Her specialties include working with families of elementary, middle, and high school students as well as college students and educators. Tiffany is a member of the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) as well as the vice-president of the National Association of Black Professional Organizers (NABPO). She is also a professional organizer with Ebony & Orderly, a collaboration of 6 Black professional organizers in Atlanta. She speaks frequently on the topics of diversity, equity, inclusion, and justice, and about the founding of microschools on various platforms.

    51 min
  8. The Perfectly Productive Day (Ep 128)

    APR 2

    The Perfectly Productive Day (Ep 128)

    So many of us say, “There just isn’t enough time.” But what if the real issue isn’t time at all but how easily it slips away when we don’t have the right structures in place?  In this episode, Kathy Vines is joined by productivity and focus expert Sarah Tetlow of Firm Focus for a practical, compassionate conversation about time, routines, and why even the most capable people struggle to stay on track. Together, they unpack how “lost time” shows up in everyday life, from doom-scrolling and over-perfecting work tasks to well-intentioned habits that quietly turn into time sinks.  Kathy and Sarah explore why we’re actually bad at sensing time internally, and why relying on willpower alone so often backfires. Instead, they make the case for external tools, visual timers, and simple systems that do the heavy lifting, especially when our brains are seeking distraction or relief from stress. You’ll hear why analog clocks matter, how timers can reduce overwhelm, and why productive people aren’t magically disciplined; they’re supported by tools and routines that keep them grounded.  The conversation also reframes the often-loaded idea of boundaries. Rather than seeing them as rigid walls, Sarah offers a powerful redefinition: boundaries as bridges, structures that let the right things into your life while protecting your time, energy, and priorities. From setting realistic routines to choosing just one “pillar habit” to start with, this episode emphasizes progress over perfection and sustainability over hustle.  If you’ve ever felt scattered, rushed, or frustrated with yourself for “knowing better but still getting stuck,” this episode offers reassurance and concrete ways to regain control of your time without guilt or burnout.  Key Takeaways  Lack of time is rarely the real problem—unstructured time is. Most of us have more “lost time” than we realize, especially when we don’t set limits around activities that easily become time sinks.  We’re not wired to sense time accurately. Relying on intuition or willpower to manage time almost always fails—external tools like timers and visual cues are essential.  Productive people stay on track because they use systems, not discipline. Tools, routines, and reminders do the work so your brain doesn’t have to.  Every activity can become a time suck without boundaries. Even “good” habits—work, learning, podcasts—need limits to stay supportive rather than draining.  Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re bridges. The right boundaries help you let in what truly matters while protecting your time, energy, and priorities.  Start with one routine, not seven. Sustainable change comes from choosing a single pillar habit that supports your day, not trying to overhaul everything at once.  Resources and Mentions  Sarah’s website: https://www.firm-focus.com   Sarah’s new book: https://www.Perfectlyproductiveday.com     Sarah recommended the book Checklist Manifesto, by Atul Gawande https://amzn.to/4rG4X28 (paid link)  Sarah and Kathy both love the Time Timer: https://amzn.to/4oXpfBm (paid link)    About Sarah Tetlow:   Sarah is a seasoned productivity strategist, consultant, and renowned international speaker specializing in helping attorneys and legal professionals. She is the founder of Firm Focus, creator of the ARTT® Email Productivity System & Course, and author of “The Perfectly Productive Day.”   With a wealth of experience, a keen organizational acumen, and a strategic mindset, she empowers attorneys and law firms to enhance their profitability and operational efficiency, reclaim lost time and revenue by controlling distractions, prioritize and develop effective systems and processes. Through personalized one-on-one or small team consulting, strategic planning, engaging workshops, and transformative group trainings, Sarah collaborates with attorneys, law firms, and busy professionals to cultivate proactive and focused approaches to daily management.

    1h 10m
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About

Helping midlife women get unstuck – at home, at work, in our relationships, from ourselves – one chat at a time. Host Kathy Vines explores all sorts of ways we can get stuck and brings us together to see the possibility and strike a path forward and get UNstuck. Come for education, inspiration, entertainment, and action! Podcast Engineer: Nate Winchell Music: "Take Off," Luke Bergs & Waesto (licensed material) Presented by Clever Girl Organizing, Inc.

Information

  • Creator
    Kathy Vines
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    36
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Kathy Vines
  • Show Website
    Surfing the Quicksand

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