BPD Diaries: Stories and Science

Stephanie Schildknecht, Kerry Fisher
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Two women. Two Master’s degrees in Psychology. A lifetime of BPD symptoms, bad coping mechanisms, and way too many tears , so now we laugh… a lot. We’ve walked through the fire of BPD and made it out stronger, armed with science, skills, and the occasional dark joke. We are BPD Warriors. Join us for unfiltered stories, the latest research, and practical strategies that actually work. It’s real talk about BPD - raw, honest, and with just enough humor to make the hard stuff easier to hear. Brought to you with love by Stephanie Schildknecht and Kerry Fisher

  1. FEB 6

    The Midlife BPD Crisis Nobody Talks About | BPD, Perimenopause and Menopause

    Have you spent years stabilizing your BPD, only to feel like you're unraveling again in your 40s or 50s? What if it's not your therapy failing, it's your hormones? In a medical blind spot affecting so many, perimenopause and menopause can dramatically amplify BPD symptoms, yet almost no one is talking about it. In this episode, we look into one of the most critical and overlooked intersections in women's mental health: Borderline Personality Disorder through perimenopause and menopause. This isn't about hot flashes, this is about your brain chemistry undergoing its most significant shift since adolescence, colliding with the emotional dysregulation at the heart of BPD. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bpddiariesstoriesandscience1@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Barth, C., Villringer, A., & Sacher, J. (2015). Sex hormones affect neurotransmitters and shape the adult female brain during hormonal transition periods. Frontiers in neuroscience, 9, 37. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnins.2015.00037 Behrman, S., & Crockett, C. (2024). Severe mental illness and the perimenopause. BJPsych Bulletin, 48(6), 364–370. doi:10.1192/bjb.2023.89 Cohen, L. S., Soares, C. N., Vitonis, A. F., Otto, M. W., & Harlow, B. L. (2006). Risk for new onset of depression during the menopausal transition: the Harvard study of moods and cycles. Archives of general psychiatry, 63(4), 385-390. doi:10.1001/archpsyc.63.4.385  Crowell, S. E., Beauchaine, T. P., & Linehan, M. M. (2009). A biosocial developmental model of borderline personality: Elaborating and extending Linehan’s theory. Psychological bulletin, 135(3), 495. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0015616 Gordon, J. L., Rubinow, D. R., Eisenlohr-Moul, T. A., Xia, K., Schmidt, P. J., & Girdler, S. S. (2018). Efficacy of transdermal estradiol and micronized progesterone in the prevention of depressive symptoms in the menopause transition: a randomized clinical trial. JAMA psychiatry, 75(2), 149-157.   Gunter, J. (2021). The menopause manifesto: own your health with facts and feminism.   Linehan, M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford press.  Maki, P. M., Kornstein, S. G., Joffe, H., Bromberger, J. T., Freeman, E. W., Athappilly, G., ... & Soares, C. N. (2018). Guidelines for the evaluation and treatment of perimenopausal depression: summary and recommendations. Menopause, 25(10), 1069-1085.DOI: 10.1097/GME.0000000000001174  Toffoletto, S., Lanzenberger, R., Gingnell, M., Sundström-Poromaa, I., & Comasco, E. (2014). Emotional and cognitive functional imaging of estrogen and progesterone effects in the female human brain: a systematic review. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 50, 28-52. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2014.07.025 Resources: The North American Menopause Society (NAMS): www.menopause.org The International Menopause Society: www.imsociety.orgMenopause Mastery: https://mlrb.net/menopause-bpd/

    23 min

  2. JAN 30

    Hell Week | BPD & Your Menstrual Cycle

    Why does everything feel so much harder the week before your period? For many people with Borderline Personality Disorder, the days before menstruation feel brutal. But this isn’t “just PMS.” If your BPD symptoms seem to sync perfectly with your menstrual cycle, you're not imagining it. This is real, it's biological, and it has a name. In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked connection between BPD, the menstrual cycle, PMS, and Premenstrual Exacerbation (PME). We unpack the science and share personal stories. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bpddiariesstoriesandscience1@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Dubey, N., Hoffman, J. F., Schuebel, K., Yuan, Q., Martinez, P. E., Nieman, L. K., ... & Goldman, D. (2017). The ESC/E (Z) complex, an effector of response to ovarian steroids, manifests an intrinsic difference in cells from women with premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Molecular psychiatry, 22(8), 1172-1184. https://doi.org/10.1038/mp.2016.229 Eisenlohr-Moul, T. A., Schmalenberger, K. M., Owens, S. A., Peters, J. R., Dawson, D. N., & Girdler, S. S. (2018). Perimenstrual exacerbation of symptoms in borderline personality disorder: evidence from multilevel models and the Carolina Premenstrual Assessment Scoring System. Psychological Medicine, 48(12), 2085-2095. doi:10.1017/S0033291718001253 Hantsoo, L., & Epperson, C. N. (2015). Premenstrual dysphoric disorder: epidemiology and treatment. Current psychiatry reports, 17(11), 87. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-015-0628-3 Linehan, M. M. (2025). DBT skills training manual. Guilford Publications. Marjoribanks, J., Brown, J., O'Brien, P. M. S., & Wyatt, K. (2013). Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors for premenstrual syndrome. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, (6). https://doi.org/10.1002/14651858.CD001396.pub3 Yen, J. Y., Wang, P. W., Su, C. H., Liu, T. L., Long, C. Y., & Ko, C. H. (2018). Estrogen levels, emotion regulation, and emotional symptoms of women with premenstrual dysphoric disorder: The moderating effect of estrogen receptor 1α polymorphism. Progress in Neuro-Psychopharmacology and Biological Psychiatry, 82, 216-223. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pnpbp.2017.11.013 Yonkers, K. A., & White, K. (1992). Premenstrual exacerbation of depression: one process or two?. The Journal of clinical psychiatry, 53(8), 289-292. PMID: 1500406. The International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD) : https://www.iapmd.org/pmdd?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23263234694&gbraid=0AAAAADiCO_rEBChLKw_ciQ6FWaXXP7Hsk&gclid=Cj0KCQiAm9fLBhCQARIsAJoNOcsYFvNRS7luuwgBOogkT-se_5N3LA8F6xjAFeyhJ4A-nSf-xv-AXBIaAqy0EALw_wcB

    24 min

  3. JAN 23

    Ghosting, Blocking & Dopamine | When Likes Feel Like Love | Social Media and BPD

    Feeling empty, disconnected, or raw? You open Instagram, post something carefully crafted, and for a moment, the likes make you feel seen. Then, the algorithm shifts. An ex appears. A friend's post feels like a dig. Or worse: silence. Your post gets three likes. That piece of yourself vanishes into the digital void. What happens next? The chest tightness. The spiral. The urge to delete everything or post something even more raw to force a connection. If this cycle is your reality, you're not being "too sensitive." You're navigating a world not built for the BPD brain. In this episode, we break down why social media often feels like psychological warfare. We explore: The Digital Dopamine Trap: Why our brains are uniquely wired for this struggle and how platforms become our "interpersonal regulation machines." Research Deep Dives: How a single ignored message can trigger self-harm urges, and why we post/delete/edit in a cycle of emotional survival. The Specific Minefields: The agony of asynchronous texts, the catastrophic impact of ghosting, and the "block/unblock" spiral. Actionable Strategies: How to conduct a "digital symptom audit," engineer your environment, build "analog anchors," and create a crisis plan for online triggers. This isn't about deleting your apps. It’s about understanding the hooks and learning to build a digital life that serves you, not your symptoms. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bpddiariesstoriesandscience1@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Howard, K. P., & Cheavens, J. S. (2023). Interpersonal emotion regulation in the context of social networks: A focus on borderline personality disorder. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 14(2), 182. Ooi, J., Michael, J., Lemola, S., Butterfill, S., Siew, C. S., & Walasek, L. (2020). Interpersonal functioning in borderline personality disorder traits: a social media perspective. Scientific reports, 10(1), 1068. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-020-58001-x Goreis, A., Chang, D., Klinger, D., Zesch, H. E., Pfeffer, B., Oehlke, S. M., ... & Kothgassner, O. D. (2025). Impact of social media on triggering nonsuicidal self-injury in adolescents: a comparative ambulatory assessment study. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation, 12(1), 4. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-025-00280-9 Hu, A., Yuan, R., Chen, R., & Liu, M. J. (2024). A glamorous but highly stressful job: The role of social media-afforded status in micro-celebrity stress coping. Technological Forecasting and Social Change, 209, 123791. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.techfore.2024.123791 The Center for Humane Technology (humanetech.com) for understanding app design.

    38 min

  4. JAN 16

    Navigating Work, Career, and BPD | Burnout, Triggers, and Finding Sustainable Careers

    Work can be a lifeline or a psychological minefield when you live with Borderline Personality Disorder. In this episode, we discuss what it’s really like to navigate career, ambition, burnout, and identity with BPD. We talk about why so many of us become high achievers at constant risk of implosion - overworking to outrun shame, masking emotional pain behind professionalism, and collapsing the moment we’re off the clock. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bpddiariesstoriesandscience1@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Comtois, K. A., Kerbrat, A. H., Atkins, D. C., Harned, M. S., & Elwood, L. (2010). Recovery from disability for individuals with borderline personality disorder: a feasibility trial of DBT-ACES. Psychiatric Services, 61(11), 1106-1111. doi: 10.1176/ps.2010.61.11.1106. Skodol, A. E., Gunderson, J. G., McGlashan, T. H., Dyck, I. R., Stout, R. L., Bender, D. S., ... & Oldham, J. M. (2002). Functional impairment in patients with schizotypal, borderline, avoidant, or obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. American journal of psychiatry, 159(2), 276-283.

    44 min

  5. JAN 9

    BPD vs Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)

    Are people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) "antisocial"? In this episode, we dive deep into the complex, often misunderstood relationship between BPD and Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). We go beyond the online stereotypes and fear-mongering to explore the science, the diagnostic lines, and the sobering overlaps. We break down the crucial differences and the emotional experience. We also tackle why these disorders are so frequently confused, the dangerous dynamics of BPD/ASPD relationships, and the painful reality of trauma bonding. This isn't about creating villains or victims. It's about compassion, critical thinking, and understanding the spectrum of human struggle. Whether you're challenging stigma, grappling with a difficult diagnosis, or simply seeking clarity, this episode provides the nuanced conversation this topic desperately needs. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bpddiariesstoriesandscience1@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787 Buchheim, A., Roth, G., Schiepek, G., Pogarell, O., & Karch, S. (2013). Neurobiology of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and antisocial personality disorder (APD). Swiss Archives of Neurology and Psychiatry, 164(4), 115-122. Chow, R. T. S., Yu, R., Geddes, J. R., & Fazel, S. (2025). Personality disorders, violence and antisocial behaviour: updated systematic review and meta-regression analysis. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 227(1), 481–491. doi:10.1192/bjp.2024.226 Chun, S., Harris, A., Carrion, M., Rojas, E., Stark, S., Lejuez, C., Lechner, W. V., & Bornovalova, M. A. (2017). A psychometric investigation of gender differences and common processes across borderline and antisocial personality disorders. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 126(1), 76–88. Lieb, K., Zanarini, M. C., Schmahl, C., Linehan, M. M., & Bohus, M. (2004). Borderline personality disorder. The lancet, 364(9432), 453-461. Özel, B., Karakaya, E., Köksal, F. et al. Gender bias of antisocial and borderline personality disorders among psychiatrists. Arch Womens Ment Health 28, 563–571 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1007/s00737-024-01519-0 Raine, A. (2018). Antisocial personality as a neurodevelopmental disorder. Annual review of clinical psychology, 14(1), 259-289. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050817-084819 Stoffers-Winterling, J. M., Storebø, O. J., Kongerslev, M. T., Faltinsen, E., Todorovac, A., Jørgensen, M. S., ... & Simonsen, E. (2022). Psychotherapies for borderline personality disorder: a focused systematic review and meta-analysis. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 221(3), 538-552. doi:10.1192/bjp.2021.204 https://www.england.nhs.uk/commissioning/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/10/work-offndrs-persnlty-disorder-oct15.pdf https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/619e6dbb8fa8f5037e8ccb2c/6.5151_HMPPS_Working_with_Offenders_with_Personality_Disorder_accessible_version_.pdf https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/law/borderline-personality-disorder-and-crime#research-starter-title

    32 min

  6. 12/25/2025

    A Christmas Message to Our BPD Diaries Family

    To all the beautiful, complex hearts tuning in:Wherever you are, whatever this day looks like for you, we are so grateful to have you as part of the BPD Diaries family. Your presence, your courage, and your stories mean the world to us. Thank you for allowing us to be a small part of your journey. We’re thinking of you, and we’re sending you so much warmth. From our hearts to yours, Merry Christmas. Be incredibly kind to yourselves today. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bpddiariesstoriesandscience1@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org Music credit:We Wish You a Merry Christmas by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/   Artist: http://www.twinmusicom.org/

    2 min

  7. 12/19/2025

    BPD, Histrionic Personality Disorder & The ‘Hysterical’ Myth | What’s Really Going On?

    Have you ever been called “too dramatic,” “too emotional,” or “attention-seeking”? These labels are hurtful, oversimplified, and often point to a deeper, misunderstood struggle. In this episode, we explore the complex and often confused relationship between Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD). We go beyond the stereotypes to unpack the science and the stories. What’s the real difference between a core fear of abandonment and a desperate need to be seen? Is "histrionic" just a gendered, modern version of "hysteria"? How can two disorders look so similar on the outside yet feel so different on the inside? 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bpddiariesstoriesandscience1@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: DELİGÖZ, A., & KARAAZİZ, M. (2025). A Review of Common Therapeutic Approaches in the Clinical Intervention of Histrionic Personality Disorder. ISPEC International Journal of Social Sciences & Humanities, 9(2), 140–156. https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.15773941 Hujing, C.L., Yalch, M.M. (2024). Histrionic Personality Disorder. In: Shackelford, T.K. (eds) Encyclopedia of Sexual Psychology and Behavior. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-08956-5_2502-1  Liu, Y., Chen, C., Zhou, Y., Zhang, N., & Liu, S. (2024). Twenty years of research on borderline personality disorder: a scientometric analysis of hotspots, bursts, and research trends. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 15. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1361535 Novais, F., Araújo, A., & Godinho, P. (2015). Historical roots of histrionic personality disorder. Frontiers in psychology, 6, 1463.https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01463

    29 min

  8. 12/12/2025

    Why Christmas Hurts & How to Get Through It | The BPD Holiday Survival Guide

    "Tis the season to be... triggered?  If the "most wonderful time of the year" feels more like an emotional pressure cooker, you are not alone. In this episode, we break down exactly why the holidays are so dysregulating for those with BPD, from attachment activation to sensory overload, and arm you with a practical toolkit to not just survive, but find small moments of peace. You're not alone this Christmas. ❤️ 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bpddiariesstoriesandscience1@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org

    37 min
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About

Two women. Two Master’s degrees in Psychology. A lifetime of BPD symptoms, bad coping mechanisms, and way too many tears , so now we laugh… a lot. We’ve walked through the fire of BPD and made it out stronger, armed with science, skills, and the occasional dark joke. We are BPD Warriors. Join us for unfiltered stories, the latest research, and practical strategies that actually work. It’s real talk about BPD - raw, honest, and with just enough humor to make the hard stuff easier to hear. Brought to you with love by Stephanie Schildknecht and Kerry Fisher

Information

  • Creator
    Stephanie Schildknecht, Kerry Fisher
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    42
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Stephanie Schildknecht, Kerry Fisher
  • Show Website
    BPD Diaries: Stories and Science

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