STFUAL - From Boy to Man to Better Husband

Alessandro Frosali - Men's Coach
  • 4.7 (3)
  • SOCIETY & CULTURE

I’m on a mission to become an expert in recognising and eradicating boy-like behaviour in adult men. These are the conversations helping me get there—honest, grounded, and human. Nothing fake. No gurus. No BS. Just the real work of growing up and becoming the man you were meant to be.

  1. 6D AGO

    Rites of Passage: Your Marriage Could Suffer Because of This Missing Initiation | EP 33

    Why do other men seem to have their shit together while you're still figuring it out? You just woke up one day with bills, a wife, maybe kids, and no idea how you got here. Western culture killed the one thing that would have given you direction. Alessandro breaks down a talk he gave on rites of passage and why their absence is wrecking modern men. You're carrying depression, anxiety, and loneliness in part because no one ever initiated you. Chapters: 02:30 - What a rite of passage actually is  04:30 - What killing rites of passage cost you 05:45 - The four elements that turn boys into men 09:00 - How to create your own rite of passage right now 10:00 - Building community without toxic leadership 17:00 - Why you feel like a boy: the initiation you never got He reveals what tribal cultures understood about transformation that we've completely forgotten. There are four specific elements they used to turn confused boys into men with clarity and purpose.  He gives you the actual framework to build your own initiation. Learn how to create community when you feel isolated, challenge yourself without falling apart, and finally build a vision instead of drifting.  Press play and learn what it takes to initiate yourself into the manhood no one handed you. MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE Subscribe to YouTube Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/# Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation. Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

    21 min

  2. JAN 7

    The Year That Defined My Life: 10 Uncomfortable Truths About Becoming a Better Man and Husband | EP 32

    What if the year that breaks you open is actually the year that makes you whole? Alessandro Frosali steps out from behind the coach role and speaks plainly about the year that reshaped him as a man, husband, and leader. He breaks down the real lessons that came from doing the internal work most men avoid.  Not theory. Not motivation. Lived experience. This is his messy middle of growth, the uncomfortable truths about power, and what happens when you finally stop playing small. You will hear about the death that changed his relationship with living, the mentor who keeps him humble, and why trusting his wife's gut became one of the smartest business decisions he made all year.  Alessandro shares the exact tools and mindset shifts that moved him from 200 followers on Instagram to over 200,000 in seven months, fully booked coaching, and a sold-out retreat.  More importantly, he reveals how growth can happen fast when you finally get out of your own way and do the internal work that matters. Chapters: 00:01:02 - Things click when they click 00:03:40 - Do the work, let it guide you 00:05:02 - Redefine your relationship with your mother 00:08:07 - Nervous system regulation changes everything 00:10:08 - Rewire worthiness with butterfly tapping 00:14:50 - The mirror box: train your future self 00:17:15 - See the retreat before you sell it 00:20:26 - Trust your wife’s intuition sooner 00:23:00 - Growth can happen insanely fast 00:28:05 - Death teaches you to live now 00:30:14 - Don’t be a fly on a lion 00:32:30 - Stay humble Alessandro does not hold back on the boy behaviors he had to face down, the nervous system blocks keeping most men broke, and the brutal honesty it took to create a new relationship with his mother.  If you have ever wondered what it actually takes to step into integrated manhood, this episode shows you the behind-the-scenes work nobody talks about. This is for men who know they are capable of more but keep hitting the same walls. The ones tired of could have, should have, would have.  Press play and hear what it actually takes to step up without burning out, blowing up your marriage, or losing yourself in the process. Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now Doors Close January 3rd Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE Subscribe to YouTube Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/# Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation. Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

    41 min

  3. 12/31/2025

    How the Modern Man Cave Creates Distraction That’s Eroding Your Marriage with Nate Johansen, Men's Coach | EP 31

    Are you facing yourself when you are alone or just finding better distractions? Alessandro is joined by men's coach Nate Johansen to call out the addiction most men don't know they have. The cave used to be where men went to process hard emotions and come back stronger.  You'd retreat when life hit you hard, sit with the weight of it, and return with clarity. That's how it worked for generations. Now you're going in just as broken and coming out just as empty. The only difference is you killed a few hours and feel worse about yourself. The problem is you're not actually facing yourself anymore. You're scrolling, gaming, or numbing out behind blue light screens. Nate breaks down why modern men use the cave to escape their responsibilities instead of processing them.  The result is you never get the transformation the cave used to provide. Chapters: 00:05:00 - Anxiety, Therapy, and the First Real Cave 00:09:30 - Why Easy Comfort Is Making Men Tired 00:17:00 - Stillness, Anger, and What Comes Up 00:25:14 - The Moment You Reach for Distraction 00:33:30 - When Meditation Feels Worse, Not Better 00:36:30 - Sitting Fully With Loss and Separation 00:39:00 - The Garden That Needs Constant Weeding 00:44:00 - Why Men Heal Faster Together You'll learn the difference between productive solitude and hiding from your own growth. Alessandro and Nate share raw examples from their own lives, including how sitting with pain creates the clarity and power you actually want. The cave isn't broken. Your approach to it is. Stay until the end to hear Nate's practical method for getting men into the cave without the fear that usually keeps them out. If you're tired of feeling tired, this gives you the permission and the path to face what you've been avoiding. Listen and learn how to reclaim the cave and stop letting distraction steal your growth. Connect with guest: https://natejohansen.com/3-step-guide Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now Doors Close January 3rd Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE Subscribe to YouTube Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/# Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation. Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

    48 min

  4. 12/24/2025

    Marriage Leadership Dies When You're Numbing Through Constant Distraction with Nic Warner, Men's Coach | EP 30

    What if every complaint you have about your wife is actually pointing to your own lack of leadership?  Alessandro sits down with Nic Warner, a men's coach who learned radical accountability the hard way through his ex-wife's affair.  Instead of playing victim, Nic asked himself the question that changed everything: "What if I chose this?" Together they dig into why men avoid discomfort, how your phone addiction is killing your presence, and why you struggle to hold your woman’s emotions when you’re constantly draining your energy through distraction and ejaculation. Chapters: 00:01:32 - Blame Feels Good Until You Lose Power 00:04:57 - The Affair That Forced Accountability 00:07:26 - Responsibility Is The Fastest Path To Change 00:09:22 - Meeting The Shadow Masculine 00:13:41 - Presence Starts With Putting The Phone Down 00:17:00 - Why Men Can’t Sit With Discomfort 00:21:30 - Comfort Culture Is Weakening Men 00:24:00 - If You Avoid Discomfort, Life Gets Louder 00:27:00 - What Actually Serves Love In Conflict 00:32:00 - Fatherhood Exposes Your Inner Voice 00:39:58 - Don’t Blame Your Father  This conversation is for the guy who's tired of blaming his wife and ready to look at his own shit. You'll learn why your complaints are doorways to growth, how to expand your capacity to hold the feminine (the riverbank analogy alone is worth it), and what it actually means to ask "what serves love" instead of "what serves me."  They also get into semen retention, impulse control, and why sitting with discomfort without needing it to change is the ultimate masculine practice. Stay until the end for one of the most cryptic and powerful truths you'll hear: "Don't blame your father, you chose him." It'll take you three years to understand it, but once you do, everything shifts. Listen and learn how to stop complaining and start leading. Connect with Nic: www.nicwarner.com Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now Doors Close January 3rd Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE Subscribe to YouTube Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/# Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation. Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

    47 min

  5. 12/17/2025

    Mental Load Explained: What Partnership Actually Means | EP 29

    You've heard her say it a hundred times: "I need help with the mental load." But what the hell does that even mean?  Alessandro breaks down the three layers every task actually has and why most men only see one of them. This isn’t vague or theoretical. It’s a practical framework that puts real structure around what’s been happening in your household. Using real examples from his own marriage and coaching clients, Alessandro shows you exactly where you're dropping the ball without even knowing it.  From doing the dishes to buying birthday gifts, he reveals the invisible work your wife has been doing and why she's exhausted even when you think you're pulling your weight.  Chapters: 00:02:06 - The Task You Can See 00:04:30 - Why She's Still Exhausted After You "Help" 00:10:30 - The Gift Test  00:15:20 - The Emotional Toll You're Missing 00:18:47 - Co-Parenting Trap 00:21:30 - Step In Without Becoming Her Alessandro helps you understand what "partnership" actually looks like in action. Men who start applying this often see fewer fights, less resentment, and a shift from being managed to actually being on a team. You'll learn how to spot the difference between helping out and actually owning your share and why that shift changes everything at home. Stay until the end for Alessandro's breakdown of emotional labor in parenting and how your passive approach might be creating the exact problem you're complaining about. Listen and learn how to stop being a task-taker and become a real partner. Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now Doors Close January 3rd MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE Subscribe to YouTube Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/# Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation. Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

    24 min

  6. 12/10/2025

    Why Your Wife Is Done Managing You, Take Ownership Before She Walks Out - Mental Load Coach Zach Watson | EP 28

    Ever wonder why your wife gets pissed when you ask "What can I do to help?" Today Alessandro sits with Zach Watson, mental load coach to translate what your wife has been trying to tell you for years. He unpacks the three levels of labor (physical, mental, and emotional) and why most men only see one of them.  You might be thinking you are doing your part when you ask "What can I do to help?" or "Just make me a list." But here's the thing: you can't help someone who already owns the whole damn operation.  You're not an employee in your own home. You're supposed to be a co-owner.They break down why that mindset is keeping you stuck in boy behavior and wrecking your marriage, even when you think you're trying. Chapters: 03:18 – Naming The Invisible Work That’s Crushing Couples 04:33 – Why Men Only Wake Up When It’s Almost Too Late 06:50 – Renovations, Resentment, and A Marriage On the Rocks 09:28 – The Three Layers of Labor Men Keep Missing 12:30 – Lunchboxes, Monster Toast, And Everyday Mental Load 17:19 – The “Boring Meeting” That Quietly Saves Your Relationship From his own separation story to helping hundreds of couples through the Fair Play method, Zach knows exactly where men get stuck and how to get unstuck. You'll learn how to shift from "just tell me what to do" to actually leading in your home. Zach breaks down the difference between fear-based "doing better" and real ownership, why your wife is carrying invisible weight you can't see, and a simple framework for weekly meetings that actually prevent fights instead of starting them. Stay until the end to learn the one action that immediately reduces mental load and proves you're thinking like a teammate, not waiting for instructions like a child. Listen and learn how to stop helping out and start owning your half. Free Skool Mental Load Basics: Here Zach Watson: https://www.instagram.com/zachmentalloadcoach Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now Doors Close January 3rd Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE Subscribe to YouTube Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/# Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation. Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

    26 min

  7. 12/03/2025

    3 Reasons Why MEN Have to Change First in Marriage and She Doesn't | EP 27

    Why should you be the one to change when she's got issues too? You're standing in a relationship standoff. She's got her guns up (criticism, contempt), you've got yours (defensiveness, stonewalling). Both of you are waiting for the other to drop theirs first. And while you're both waiting, your marriage is slowly dying. Alessandro dismantles the "it's not fair" mindset keeping you stuck and shows you why changing first has nothing to do with fairness. He confronts the question every man asks: "Why do I have to be the one to change?" Chapters: 00:01:14 – The Mexican Standoff Keeping Couples Stuck 00:02:47 – The Two Guns: His Defensiveness vs Her Criticism 00:06:03 – How Society Turned Marriage Into an Unequal Load 00:09:12 – The Life Ship Analogy and the Mental Load Gap 00:15:42 – The Gottman Research Men Never Hear 00:19:31 – Personal Ownership That Transforms a Marriage Alessandro walks you through the societal pressures women face, the hormonal realities you've never considered, and research from the Gottman Institute proving that when men refuse to accept influence from their wives, there's an 80% chance the marriage falls apart. This is the fastest path to actually fixing your relationship. You'll discover the "life ship" analogy that reveals why you think you're doing everything right while she's drowning in resentment. Alessandro lays out how your defensiveness feeds her criticism, how your stonewalling makes her feel unsafe, and why clearing your own shit first is the most powerful move you can make, whether she changes or not. By the end, you'll see why changing first isn't weakness. It's efficiency. It's ownership. And it's the only way to know if your marriage can be saved or if it's time to walk away with clarity. Listen and learn why the man who drops his gun first actually wins the war. Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now   Doors Close January 3rd Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE Subscribe to YouTube Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/# Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation. Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

    25 min

  8. 11/26/2025

    How Men Are Conditioned to Be Unemotional and Why Fatherhood Breaks You Open with Relationship Coach, Jay Tibbs | EP 26

    What if being emotionally unavailable in your marriage isn't a character flaw but a survival pattern you learned as a boy? I sit down with Jay Tibbs, a relationship coach who knows what it's like to be emotionally shut down and what it takes to crack open. Jay breaks down the "realm of existence" most men are completely blind to, not because they're weak, but because they were trained out of it. From boyhood, we learn that emotions are dangerous, that feeling makes you less of a man. But here's the truth: your greatest power is on the other side of what you're avoiding. Chapters: 02:14 – How Boys Get Trained Out of Feeling 04:37 – Why Men Think It’s “Either Stoic or Weak” 08:49 – Shutdown, Fixing, Disappearing: His Default Patterns 12:58 – The Pain Under the Anger Men Don’t Talk About 19:56 – Turning Pain Into Power Instead of Destruction 23:38 – Why Hyper-Rational Men Can’t Access Emotion 35:09 – Fatherhood, Tears, and the Call That Changed Everything 42:18 – The Message to Men: It’s Not Your Fault, But It Is Your Work We go deep on how emotional disconnection shows up in marriage: the shutdown, the fixing, the anger that's really pain underneath. Jay shares his own rock-bottom moment (a suicide hotline call that changed everything) and why his wife finally trusted him after he fully went there.  This is about cultivating the strength to feel without being carried away, and using your wife as a guide into territory you've been avoiding your whole life. If you've ever been told you're emotionally unavailable, if your wife says she can't feel your presence, or if you're stuck and don't know why, this conversation will show you exactly where the gold is buried. It's not your fault you're disconnected. But it is your responsibility to find your way back. Listen and learn how listening to your own heart is the warrior move you've been missing. Connect with Jay: https://www.instagram.com/mrjaytibbs/?hl=en Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now   Doors Close January 3rd Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE Subscribe to YouTube Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/# Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation. Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

    49 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.7
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

I’m on a mission to become an expert in recognising and eradicating boy-like behaviour in adult men. These are the conversations helping me get there—honest, grounded, and human. Nothing fake. No gurus. No BS. Just the real work of growing up and becoming the man you were meant to be.

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