The Psychology of Relationships

Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
  • 4.4 (117)
  • Relationships
  • Weekly

Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book 'How to Be Dateable,' as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they'll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use. 

  1. 2d ago

    Designing Your Relationship: How to Build a Partnership That Actually Works for You w/ Ellecia Paine

    What if the healthiest relationship isn’t the one that follows the traditional blueprint—but the one that actually fits the people in it? Julie & Yue are joined by relationship coach and educator Ellecia Paine to explore how inherited expectations can shape the way we think relationships are “supposed” to look. Together, they unpack how to question those assumptions, communicate what you genuinely want, and intentionally create a partnership that allows both people to feel fulfilled rather than simply successful on paper. In this episode, you’ll learn: How inherited expectations shape our relationshipsWhy wanting something different doesn’t mean you’re asking too muchHow to identify the relationship “shoulds” you’ve internalizedWhy there’s no single blueprint for a healthy partnershipHow to intentionally create a relationship where both people can thrive To learn more about Ellecia Paine, follow her @elleciapaine and visit www.elleciapaine.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  2. Oct 22

    Single on Purpose: How to Stop Waiting for a Relationship to Start Your Life w/ John Kim

    Being single can easily feel like something we’re supposed to endure until we find someone—but what if it’s actually an opportunity to build a life you genuinely love? Julie & Yue are joined by John Kim, licensed therapist and author of Single On Purpose, to explore what happens when we stop treating partnership as the finish line. From rebuilding your relationship with yourself to “masturdating,” John offers a different way to think about singlehood, self-growth, and ultimately partnership. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why being single doesn’t have to mean being lonelyHow to build a fulfilling life outside of partnershipWhy we sometimes stop growing once we enter relationshipsWhat “masturdating” can teach you about yourselfHow a stronger relationship with yourself changes your relationships with others To learn more about John Kim, follow him @theangrytherapist and visit www.theangrytherapist.com. Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  3. Oct 15

    The Psychology of Better Sex: How Intimacy Can Strengthen Your Relationship w/ Dr. Ian Kerner

    A fulfilling sex life isn’t just about chemistry or technique—it’s about feeling comfortable enough to communicate, explore, and be vulnerable with each other. Julie & Yue are joined by licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, to explore how couples can use sex as an opportunity for deeper connection. From becoming more “cliterate” to expanding our understanding of pleasure beyond intercourse, Ian offers a practical look at creating more satisfying and connected intimacy. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why communication is essential to a satisfying sex lifeWhat it means to become more “cliterate”Why pleasure goes far beyond intercourseHow couples can explore intimacy without pressureHow sexual connection can strengthen emotional intimacy To learn more about Ian Kerner, visit www.iankerner.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  4. Oct 8

    Love Addiction: Why You Can’t Stop Chasing Relationships (And How to Break the Cycle) w/ Sherry Gaba

    When does wanting love become needing it? For some people, relationships can become a source of obsession, validation, and emotional dependence—making it difficult to feel secure without another person. Julie & Yue are joined by Sherry Gaba, LCSW, psychotherapist and relationship addiction expert, to unpack the psychology behind love addiction and the patterns that can keep people chasing connection at the expense of themselves. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to recognize the difference between love and love addictionWhy some people become dependent on romantic validationHow low self-worth can fuel unhealthy relationship patternsWhy being alone can feel so uncomfortableHow to rebuild self-trust and a sense of wholeness To learn more about Sherry Gaba, follow her @codependencycurious and visit www.sherrygaba.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  5. Oct 1

    Stop Trying to Be More Lovable: How Your Greatest Gifts Can Transform Your Relationships w/ Ken Page

    What if the parts of yourself you’ve spent years trying to fix are actually connected to your greatest strengths? Julie & Yue are joined by psychotherapist and Deeper Dating author Ken Page to explore how our perceived flaws can point toward the qualities that make us most authentic, passionate, and alive. Rather than trying to become more lovable, we explore what happens when we recognize our core gifts, embrace the parts of ourselves we’ve learned to hide, and choose relationships where those qualities can truly be appreciated. In this episode, you’ll learn: How your perceived flaws can reveal your greatest giftsWhy trying to become more lovable can backfireHow to recognize the qualities that make you uniquely youWhy authenticity can lead to stronger relationshipsHow to find connections where your gifts are genuinely valuedTo learn more about Ken Page, follow him @deeper.dating and visit www.deeperdating.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  6. Sep 24

    Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One?: Why Partnership Should Be a Choice, Not a Necessity w/ Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt

    We’re often taught that being in a relationship is the goal—but what if partnership isn’t something we need in order to have a fulfilling life? Julie & Yue are joined by Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt, co-authors of Relationship.: Are You Sure You Want One?, to challenge the idea that being partnered is inherently better than being single. After consciously uncoupling from their own long-term relationship, they share what they learned about choosing partnership, creating a meaningful life independently, and redefining what a successful relationship can look like. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why we’re so conditioned to believe we need a relationshipHow to tell the difference between wanting a partner and needing oneWhy a fulfilling life doesn’t have to revolve around romantic partnershipWhat makes a relationship genuinely enhance your lifeHow to choose relationships from desire and intention rather than fear or expectation To learn more about Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt, visit www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  7. Sep 17

    The Truth About Attachment Styles: Why You’re Not Just Anxious or Avoidant w/ Lauren Korshak

    Attachment styles have become one of the most popular ways to understand relationships—but they’re often reduced to a few labels on social media. Julie & Yue are joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Lauren Korshak to take a closer look at what attachment theory actually tells us about love, closeness, and security. Rather than treating attachment as a fixed identity, we explore how our patterns develop, why insecurity can show up even in secure relationships, and how awareness can help us create more compassionate and connected partnerships. In this episode, you’ll learn: What attachment theory actually tells us about relationshipsHow anxious and avoidant patterns developWhy even securely attached people can feel insecureHow attachment patterns can change over timeHow to use attachment as a tool rather than a label To learn more about Lauren Korshak, visit https://www.lovewellsf.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  8. Sep 10

    Money & Relationships: What Financial Compatibility Really Means for Couples w/ Joe Gavazza

    Money can create some of the biggest tensions in a relationship—but the conflict usually isn’t just about money. It’s about what money represents: security, freedom, control, priorities, and the future you want to build together. Julie & Yue are joined by Joe Gavazza of Gavazza Wealth Management to explore what financial compatibility really looks like and how couples can talk about spending, saving, debt, and long-term goals before they become sources of conflict. In this episode, you’ll learn: What financial compatibility actually means beyond incomeHow your money mindset can shape your relationshipHow to talk about spending, saving, and debtWhy financial transparency can strengthen trustHow couples can create greater alignment around their future To learn more about Joe Gavazza, visit www.gavazza.com. Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Trailer

4.4
out of 5
117 Ratings

About

Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book 'How to Be Dateable,' as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they'll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use. 

Information

  • Creator
    Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    53
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2024 Drank Productions LLC
  • Show Website
    The Psychology of Relationships

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