The Secret Is OUT

Stan Stadig

The Secret Is Out tells the coming-out stories of LGBTQ people — from celebrities, athletes and musicians to people whose stories you may be hearing for the first time. Hosted by Stan Stadig, who came out later in life himself, each episode goes beyond the moment someone said “I’m gay.” We look at the life before it: the families, faith, careers, relationships and expectations that can make living in the closet feel safer than telling the truth. Some stories changed sports, music or popular culture. Others changed one family or one life. But they all have something in common: there was a secret, there was a reason for keeping it, and eventually, the secret came out. These are LGBTQ coming-out stories about what it takes to hide who you are — and what can happen when you finally stop.

  1. 13h ago

    The World’s Dutch Daddy | Rob Jetten. Coming Out, Homophobia in Politics and Becoming the First Out Gay Prime Minister of the Netherlands

    Send us Fan Mail Rob Jetten: The World's Dutch Daddy Most of the music in this episode comes from three Dutch artists: Cédric Vermue, Carly E, and Dread Pitt. Their music helped give Rob’s story a sense of home. Rob is now the Netherlands’ youngest-ever and first openly gay prime minister. At seventeen, he was a boy trying to tell his parents he’d fallen in love with someone named Simon. In this episode, I follow his story through a difficult coming-out, his family’s eventual acceptance, public scrutiny, and his relationship with Argentine Olympic hockey player Nicolás Keenan. There’s a coffee invitation, a proposal at home, and a letter from someone who thought Rob shouldn’t marry or have children. Rob invited that man to sit down and talk. Some of this felt very close to home for me. After five decades in the closet, I know what it means to finally introduce someone as your husband. I also remember when marriage and a family seemed like things I would never get to have. Rob and Nicolás are now looking toward a future they once worried wasn’t possible. I’m glad we get to see it. Hosted by Stan Stadig Website: https://listen.thesecretisoutpodcast.com/ Episode references and further reading Some sources below are in Dutch; your browser’s translation feature can help. Nicolás Keenan on the private beginnings of his relationship with Rob — L’HOMO / LINDANicolás on meeting Rob, Instagram messages, and coming out — AttitudeRob on coming out and his mother’s role in bringing the family together — NouveauRob on love, marriage, his Catholic upbringing, and hopes for children — EORob’s account of inviting the man who sent him a hurtful letter to talk — his own post and interview excerptRob reflects on his teenage fears and hopes for a family with Nicolás — AttitudeRob Jetten’s official biography and career — Government of the NetherlandsThe new government takes office, February 23, 2026 — Associated PressRob’s WorldPride Human Rights Conference speech, August 5, 2026 — full textRob and Nicolás announce they are expecting a child in 2027 — El PaísMusic My thanks to the musicians whose work accompanies this episode: “Ecos del Pasado” — Cédric Vermue. Listen“We Came and Left” — Cédric Vermue. Uppbeat“In Silence We Part” — Cédric Vermue. Uppbeat“Earth” — Carly E. Uppbeat“Coffee” — Dread Pitt. Uppbeat“Roadtrip” — Dread Pitt. Uppbeat“Courage” — Roo Walker. Uppbeat“Where the Light Returns” — Daniel Robinson. Artist’s Uppbeat page“Walk On” — written by Stan Stadig and Brice Pufahl.Selected tracks were shortened or extended to fit the episode. Sound effects and broadcast audio Street ambience by Vincentmets; playground and running ambience by FTUS; stadium applause by Joshua Chivers; starting pistol by Stephan Schutze; Swedish café ambience by aldermanswe. The prime minister scene combines room ambience by SpliceSound and applause by hz37 / Hens Zimmerman, both released under CC0. It is a sound-design recreation, rather than a recording of Rob’s swearing-in. The Dutch news excerpt comes from “RTL Netherlands,” uploaded by OradHiTechSystems. It provides broadcast atmosphere; the original report is unrelated to Rob Jetten.

    The World’s Dutch Daddy | Rob Jetten. Coming Out, Homophobia in Politics and Becoming the First Out Gay Prime Minister of the Netherlands

  2. Oct 27

    How We Got October | Rodney Wilson, The Teacher Who Founded LGBTQ History Month

    Send us Fan Mail How We Got October | Rodney Wilson  The Teacher Who Founded LGBTQ History Month Rodney Wilson founded LGBTQ History Month in 1994. That same year, during a lesson on the Holocaust, he told his students at Mehlville High School in Missouri that he was gay. Parents objected, administrators reprimanded him, and the controversy reached a national audience on Dateline NBC. His future as a teacher was suddenly uncertain. For this final episode of LGBTQ History Month, I wanted to get to know the man behind that history. Rodney and I talk about growing up gay and religious in rural Missouri, working at Walmart before finding his way to college, and the frightening first step of writing to a gay student group. He shares his mother’s reaction to his coming out, a family secret his aunt had kept for thirty years, and something his father did to protect him that Rodney wouldn’t learn about until their last conversation. His story brought back memories of my own father’s campaign for the Los Angeles school board, where opposition to Project 10—a program supporting LGBTQ students—was central to his message. Then, near the end of our interview, my stepson walked into the room. He told Rodney about the LGBTQ History Month activities happening at his school. It was a conversation I hadn’t planned, and one I’m glad we caught. References and Further Reading My Gay Uncles and the Lives They Never Lived — Rodney Wilson, Out in STL Rodney remembers his uncles Paul and Ricky, the relationships kept secret within his family, and the lives he wishes they’d had the chance to live.LGBT History Month: The Uncle I Never Met — Rodney Wilson, HuffPost (2016) Rodney writes about the family secret that emerged after he came out and his eventual conversation with the man who had loved his uncle Paul.Dateline NBC: Rodney Wilson’s Story (1994) The original television segment covering Rodney’s decision to come out to his students and the controversy that followed.Taboo Teaching: A Profile of Missouri Teacher Rodney Wilson (2019) A short documentary about Rodney’s experience as an openly gay teacher and his work founding LGBTQ History Month.The Teacher Who Created LGBTQ History Month Reflects on How He Sparked a Movement — PBS NewsHour (2024) Rodney reflects on the month’s beginnings and its lasting importance. Includes video and transcript.Rodney Wilson Founded LGBTQ History Month 30 Years Ago. Here’s What He Wants You to Know — PBS NewsHour (2024) A look at the origins of the observance and Rodney’s hopes for its future.The Story Behind the First LGBT History Month — The Advocate (2015) Rodney’s account of the people and organizing behind the first observance.Coming Out — Teacher Magazine / Education Week (1994) Contemporary reporting on Rodney’s coming out and the response at his school.Rodney Wilson: History in the Making — The Arrow (2015) A profile from Rodney’s alma mater, Southeast Missouri State University.LGBT History Month: Background More about the month’s origins and purpose.More From Rodney Wilson Rodney’s collected writing, interviews, talks, and other resources.A correction to the episode: Johnda Boyce was president of the Gay and Lesbian Student Association, not simply a member. Music Credits “Walk On” — written by Stan Stadig and Brice Pufahl. Additional music from Uppbeat: “Last Farewell” — Tonebox“Memory Uploaded” — Tonebox“Road to the Sun” — Vens Adams“Continual” — Prigida“Slow Drifting” — 2050“Moontown Shores” — Ian Aisling“Stardrive” — Simon Folwar“Old Soul” — Jonny Easton

    How We Got October | Rodney Wilson, The Teacher Who Founded LGBTQ History Month

  3. Oct 20

    A Ballplayer In the Closet, A Partner In the Garage | Billy Bean. Hidden Love, Coming Out, and LGBTQ Advocacy in MLB

    Send us Fan Mail Billy Bean: A Ballplayer in the Closet, a Partner in the Garage Hidden love, coming out, and a legacy of LGBTQ inclusion in Major League Baseball. When Billy Bean’s teammates came over to celebrate his first major league home run, the man he loved hid in the garage. Billy had made it to Major League Baseball. But being honest about his life still felt like something that could cost him everything. When his partner, Sam, died from AIDS-related complications, Billy put on his uniform and went to work. His teammates didn’t know he was grieving. He missed Sam’s funeral. In this episode of The Secret Is OUT, host Stan Stadig follows Billy’s journey through closeted life in professional baseball, love and loss during the AIDS epidemic, coming out, and his eventual return as MLB’s first Ambassador for Inclusion. Along the way: an unexpected visit from teammates, a conversation with Judy Shepard, and a quiet moment when Billy’s father reached across a car seat and took his hand. Stan also shares his own experience of hiding, family estrangement, and longing for that kind of acceptance. Billy couldn’t recover the years he spent afraid to be known. But he could help make baseball a place where someone else might feel safe enough to tell the truth. If you’ve ever edited your life to keep someone’s love—or waited for someone to reach back—this episode is for you. Follow The Secret Is OUT wherever you listen, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Content note: Discussion of HIV/AIDS, the death of a partner, grief, homophobia, family estrangement, and leukemia. Sources and further reading • Billy Bean with Chris Bull, Going the Other Way: Lessons from a Life In and Out of Major League Baseball (2003). • MLB: Billy Bean brings MLB message of inclusion. • MLB: Billy Bean shares his story with the Pirates. • MLB: Billy Bean and Torey Lovullo’s friendship. • MLB: Billy Bean reflects on his Mets visit and Daniel Murphy’s comments. • MLB: Billy Bean named first Ambassador for Inclusion. • MLB Network: The Story of Billy Bean. • MLB: Glenn Burke remembered during Dodgers Pride Night. • MLB: Major League Baseball mourns Billy Bean. Music credits Music sourced through Uppbeat: • “The Quest” — Arend • “Born for It” — Sky Toes • “Sight” — Ilya Kuznetsov • “Embers” — DADA • “Homeward” — Sky Toes • “Phoenix” — We Are All Astronauts Sound effects credits • Aluminum baseball bat hit and wooden baseball bat hit — GFX Sounds, via Uppbeat. • Classic two-tone doorbell — Ilya Kuznetsov, via Uppbeat. • Running footsteps on wood — Glitchedtones, via Uppbeat. • Digital telephone ringtone — Jeff Kaale, via Uppbeat. • “Voices, Laugh, Male, 20s, Two Guys Laughing” — Epidemic Sound. • Car door slam and engine start — Nematoki. • “Crowd and field noise before and during homerun hit at MLB baseball stadium” — Barry Madore / bmadore, Fire on the Bluff, via Freesound; CC0. Edited and mixed for this episode.

  4. Oct 13

    Crowning of a King | Billie Jean King. Tennis, Equality, Coming Out and the Cost of Being Outed

    Send us Fan Mail Crowning of a King | BILLIE JEAN KING.  Tennis, Equality, Coming Out and the Cost of Being Outed. Most people remember Billie Jean King for defeating Bobby Riggs in the “Battle of the Sexes.” But her most difficult match may have begun years later, when a former lover’s lawsuit exposed a part of her life she was not ready to share with the world. In 1981, Billie Jean was advised to deny the relationship. She refused. Her honesty came at an enormous cost. Sponsors abandoned her, the press descended on women’s tennis, and she remained on the court longer than planned, playing on injured knees to rebuild the income she had lost. This episode of The Secret Is OUT looks beyond the famous match and the trophies to tell the more complicated story of Billie Jean King: the girl from the public courts of Long Beach, California; the champion who became the world’s top-ranked woman; the leader who helped the Original Nine launch a professional women’s tennis tour; and the activist who fought for equal prize money and helped establish the Women’s Tennis Association. It is also the story of a woman whose private life unfolded under extraordinary pressure. Billie Jean was still married to Larry King when the lawsuit made her relationship with Marilyn Barnett public. She had already fallen in love with fellow tennis champion Ilana Kloss, but fear, family expectations, professional consequences, and the need to protect others kept much of their life together hidden for years. Stan also shares a personal childhood memory of seeing Billie Jean on television and hearing a family reaction that taught him something painful about how LGBTQ people were viewed. Decades later, after his own coming-out journey, he returns to her story with a new understanding. Billie Jean King changed women’s tennis, challenged sexism in sports, fought for equal pay, raised money for HIV and AIDS causes, and became one of the most influential LGBTQ athletes in history. Yet she has spoken honestly about needing decades to fully accept herself, including seeking treatment for an eating disorder at age 51. This is not simply a story about being outed. It is about what happens after the world knows, when you are still learning how to live freely inside your own life. It is a story about equality, identity, courage, healing, and the years that still count. Content note: This episode discusses homophobia, involuntary outing, eating disorders, family rejection, and financial consequences related to coming out. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING • Billie Jean King: Official Biography • Billie Jean King’s Childhood Commitment to Equality • The Original Nine and Their Legacy • The Long Road to Equal Grand Slam Prize Money • Billie Jean King and the Battle of the Sexes • Billie Jean King’s 2021 Fresh Air Interview • Billie Jean King on Coming Out, Hiding and Her Autobiography All In • The 90 Days That Shook Women’s Tennis • Billie Jean King on Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris • Ilana Kloss: WTA Player Biography • Billie Jean King on Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus • Billie Jean King’s CNN Interview with Dana Bash • Billie Jean King on Elton John and “Philadelphia Freedom” • WTA Tribute to Larry King • Billie Jean King and Ilana Kloss’s Private Wedding MUSIC CREDITS Music licensed through Uppbeat: • “Ambition” by Monument Music • “Bring It On” by Noise Cake • “Falling Fast” by Aaron Paul Low • “Jhoha” by Hele • “New Growth” by Little Planet • “Streets and Corners” by Simon Folwar • “The Silent Clues” by Simon Folwar • “Windows” by The Lakes SOUND DESIGN • “Tennis Ball Being Hit” from the Freesound Community • “Tennis Volley and Crowd Cheer” from the Freesound Community • “Stadium Crowd Cheering” by Gregor Quendel HASHTAGS #BillieJeanKing #BattleOfTheSexes #WomensTennis #TennisHistory #WTA #OriginalNine #WomenInSports #EqualPay #LGBTQHistory #LGBTQAthletes #ComingOut #QueerHistory #IlanaKloss #BobbyRiggs #LGBTQPodcast #PodcastRecommendation #TheSecretIsOUT #StanStadig

  5. Oct 6

    After The Show | Elton John: A Coming Out Story. Finding Love, Living Openly, and Changing LGBTQ+ History

    Send us Fan Mail 🎹 Listen to Elton John’s “Your Song” on Spotify:   https://open.spotify.com/track/38zsOOcu31XbbYj9BIPUF1?si=idGnFS_wTUecHAcT2BFEzA&utm_source=copy-link Elton John could fill Madison Square Garden, then go back to his hotel and wonder whether anyone really knew him. In October 1976, he told Rolling Stone he was bisexual. The world had plenty to say about it. But saying those words didn’t end the loneliness or make the years ahead easy. Released on the eve of that interview’s 50th anniversary, “After the Show” follows Elton’s coming-out story through addiction, recovery, his friendship with Ryan White, and the life he eventually built with David Furnish and their sons. We also return to Princess Diana’s funeral, when a familiar voice helped millions of us find somewhere to put our grief. Along the way, I share my own memories of discovering Elton’s music—and what I understand differently now, having come out at 49. There’s even a detour through a jeans commercial some of you will remember a little too well. If you’ve ever wondered what happens after you finally tell the truth, this one’s for you. Follow The Secret Is OUT wherever you listen, and share this episode with someone who knows Elton’s songs but might not know his story. REFERENCES & FURTHER READING • Cliff Jahr, Rolling Stone: “Elton John Comes Out as Bisexual in Rolling Stone’s 1976 Cover Story.” Originally published October 7, 1976.  https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/elton-john-lonely-at-the-top-rolling-stones-1976-cover-story-238734/ • Ian Parker, The New Yorker: “He’s a Little Bit Funny.” August 1996. A profile exploring Elton’s recovery, private life, and relationship with David Furnish.  https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1996/08/26/elton-john-profile-hes-a-little-bit-funny • Elton John AIDS Foundation: “Our History.” Ryan White’s influence, the Foundation’s beginnings, and its work confronting HIV and stigma.  https://www.eltonjohnaidsfoundation.org/about-us/our-history/ • Elton John’s official website: “1990s.” Career milestones and the impact of “Candle in the Wind 1997.”  https://www.eltonjohn.com/timelines/1990s • PEOPLE: “Elton John and David Furnish’s Relationship Timeline.” Their relationship, civil partnership, marriage, and family.  https://people.com/music/elton-john-david-furnish-relationship-timeline/ MUSIC CREDITS Music licensed through Uppbeat: • “Beautiful Space” by Corinne • “Head High” by Goldeny • “Feeling Cool Tonight” by Airstream • “Slender” by Cedric Vermue • “Air Between Us” by Hele • “Story Unfolding” by Evoli • “Float” by Tristan Barton

  6. Sep 29

    Number 98 | Jason Collins: The Courage to Live Out Loud

    Send us Fan Mail Number 98 |   Jason Collins: The Courage To Live Out Loud The trailblazing NBA player who changed professional sports by coming out—and left a legacy of courage, authenticity, and LGBTQ+ visibility. Episode 98 carries special meaning. Jason Collins wore No. 98 as a quiet tribute to Matthew Shepard, whose 1998 murder became a defining moment in the fight against anti-LGBTQ+ violence, and to The Trevor Project, which was founded that same year. Long before Collins was ready to tell the world he was gay, the number allowed him to carry a private truth onto the basketball court. Born alongside his identical twin brother, Jarron, Jason grew from a talented California basketball player into a Stanford standout and a respected 13-year NBA veteran. He played for six franchises, appeared in two NBA Finals and built a reputation as a physical, selfless teammate who understood that not every meaningful contribution appears in a box score. But throughout most of his career, Jason was carrying something his teammates and fans could not see. In April 2013, Collins told his story in a groundbreaking first-person Sports Illustrated essay. By coming out publicly while still pursuing his NBA career, he became the first active male athlete in one of North America’s four major professional team sports to do so. When he later took the court for the Brooklyn Nets, he became the first openly gay player to compete in one of those leagues. This episode explores more than a historic first. It is a deeply human story about the exhaustion of hiding, the fear of disappointing people you love, the freedom that comes with telling the truth and the difference one person can make simply by refusing to disappear. Jason’s influence continued long after his final NBA game. As an NBA Cares ambassador and advocate for LGBTQ+ inclusion in sports, he helped make locker rooms, arenas and communities more welcoming for the people who would follow him. Jason Collins died in May 2026 at age 47 after living with glioblastoma. Later that year, he was posthumously selected to receive the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage—an honor recognizing a legacy that extended far beyond basketball. Jason did not set out to become a symbol. He wanted to live honestly. In doing so, he gave countless other people permission to imagine that they could do the same. This is the story of Jason Collins: basketball player, brother, husband, advocate and barrier-breaker. References and further reading Jason Collins’s groundbreaking first-person essay in Sports IllustratedNBA: Jason Collins passes away after a valiant fight with glioblastomaNBA Commissioner Adam Silver’s statement on Jason Collins’s legacyStanford Athletics remembers Jason CollinsThe story behind No. 98 from the Matthew Shepard FoundationJason Collins and the Arthur Ashe Award for CourageMusic credits Music featured in this episode was sourced through Uppbeat: “1st Class” — Mountaineer“Beginnings” — MonoBox“Big Dreams” — Simon Folwar“Broken” — David Bullard“Hope Is Alive” — Infraction“Lonely Mountains” — Monument Music“Movement” — MonoBox“Pieces of Light” — Tobias Voigt“Sunset in Junipero” — bách.Sound credits “Basketball Practice” — amthomas101, Freesound“Small Applause” — sclolex, Freesound“High School Basketball Game with Crowd Noise” — blurry_bear, Freesound“Basketball Game Crowd Ambience” — GFX Sounds“Newborn Baby Crying” — freesound_community, Pixabay“Little Baby Crying, Newborn, Infant Cries” — nematoki, PixabaySound effects are used under their respective platform licenses. Content note: This episode discusses homophobia, anti-LGBTQ+ violence, cancer and death.

    Number 98 | Jason Collins: The Courage to Live Out Loud

  7. Sep 25 ·  Bonus

    BONUS EPISODE: Dolly Parton | Music, Memories and LGBTQ Allyship

    Send us Fan Mail Happy 9-2-5 Day! Here is a gift bonus episode for all those who loved Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton Tribute: Music, Memories & LGBTQ+ Allyship Listen to Dolly Parton’s “Here You Come Again” on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/6H7nDglS6xWpRidbhMwI2L I heard Dolly Parton before I knew who Dolly Parton was. I was riding to kindergarten when “Here You Come Again” came through the car radio. I didn’t know her name yet—I just knew that when the song ended, I wanted to hear it again. A few years later, I was standing in front of a mirror lip-syncing “9 to 5” like I was Dolly. Looking back, some of the clues about me were less subtle than others. This episode is my personal tribute to Dolly Parton—not only the country music legend covered in rhinestones, but the woman whose humor, Christian faith and acceptance of LGBTQ+ people made a gay kid from a conservative evangelical world feel safe. I talk about Dolly’s declaration that “people are people,” the time she entered a Dolly Parton look-alike contest at a gay bar and lost to the drag queens, and “Travelin’ Thru,” the song she wrote for the transgender-centered film Transamerica. I also share why her understanding of God, family and belonging meant so much to me as I faced estrangement from my own mother, married Troy and learned the important difference between receiving permission and being truly accepted. This is an episode about Dolly Parton’s LGBTQ+ allyship, grief, faith, family and the people who help us believe we were already somebody worth loving. The world may feel less sparkly without Dolly—but she left us the rhinestones. References and further listening • Dolly Parton’s 1984 interview with Andy Warhol and Maura Moynihan: https://www.interviewmagazine.com/culture/new-again-dolly-parton • Dolly discusses her gay fans and losing a drag look-alike contest: https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/news/story/dolly-parton-gay-rumors-losing-drag-queen-alike-17812138 • The Associated Press on Dolly’s Christian faith and acceptance of LGBTQ+ people: https://apnews.com/article/6c8d0046b90ef8490ebe1233aeb69008 • The Academy Awards listing for “Travelin’ Thru” from Transamerica: https://www.oscars.org/oscars/ceremonies/2006/T • Official memorial announcement from Dolly Parton’s family: https://www.dollyparton.com/news/official-announcement-dolly-parton-passes-away-at-80 • Celebrity tributes, including Kacey Musgraves: https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/dolly-parton-dead-80-celebrities-react-country-music/story?id=135946115 • Sally Field and Reba McEntire’s Emmy Awards tribute: https://www.televisionacademy.com/video/dolly-parton-tribute-78th-emmy-awards • Miley Cyrus’s tribute to her godmother: https://pitchfork.com/story/miley-cyrus-pays-tribute-to-godmother-dolly-parton-i-have-an-angel-by-my-side/ • Dolly Parton’s 2018 Library of Congress interview: https://www.loc.gov/item/2021690731/ Music credits • “Morning Mandolin” — Chris Haugen YouTube Audio Library https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0bxY-vPuYU • “Photographs” — The Lakes Licensed through Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/contributors/the-lakes • “Steadfast” — The Lakes Licensed through Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/contributors/the-lakes

    BONUS EPISODE: Dolly Parton | Music, Memories and LGBTQ Allyship

  8. Sep 22

    Shift At The Center | Sally Gary: Faith, Sexuality, And The Change at CenterPeace

    Send us Fan Mail Shift At The Center | Sally GaryFaith, Sexuality, and the Change at CenterPeace Sally Gary spent years helping LGBTQ Christians find a place in the church. But what happened when the founder of CenterPeace changed her own beliefs about same-sex marriage? In this episode of The Secret Is OUT, host Stan Stadig tells Sally’s story—from her Church of Christ upbringing and years at Abilene Christian University to coming out, building a ministry, and finding love with Karen Keen. For fourteen years, CenterPeace made room for honest conversations about faith and sexuality while maintaining a traditional Christian view of marriage. Sally believed that view herself. She lived it, wrote about it, and became someone conservative churches trusted. Then years of listening, studying Scripture, and facing her own loneliness brought her somewhere she hadn’t expected. In October 2020, she told her own conference that she had become affirming of same-sex marriage. Then she introduced the woman she planned to marry. Throughout the shift, Sally still loved the people and places that had shaped her. Changing her mind meant risking those relationships. It also meant imagining a life she had spent decades believing was unavailable to her. Along the way, I share some of my own experience with trying to explain—and change—my sexuality. Sally’s story raises questions many of us know personally: Can I be gay and Christian? What happens when my understanding of Scripture changes? Will the people who love me still make room for me? In this episode Sally Gary’s upbringing in the Churches of Christ and connection to Abilene Christian University.Coming out privately, then speaking publicly at ACU.Why Sally founded CenterPeace for LGBTQ Christians and their families.Celibacy, loneliness, and reconsidering beliefs about same-sex marriage.Her relationship with biblical scholar Karen Keen.The 2020 announcement that changed CenterPeace.Finding belonging while staying connected to Christian faith.Written and narrated by Stan Stadig. This is a narrated account of Sally Gary’s story, drawing on her public statements, writing, and published interviews. Content note: Discussion of suicidal thoughts, family abuse, religious rejection, attempts to change sexual orientation, and long-term isolation. For further info on Sally Gary, CenterPeace, and the 2026 Conference: Visit centerpeace.net to learn about the upcoming 20th Anniversary Conference as well as the ministry, LGBTQ Christian community, retreats, and support for families. The 2026 CenterPeace Conference takes place October 15–17 in Dallas, at First United Methodist Church of Dallas. Visit the conference information and registration page for speakers, workshops, and the schedule. Explore more: CenterPeace resources on faith and sexualitySupport for parents of LGBTQ childrenLoves God, Likes Girls documentarySally’s memoir, Affirming: A Memoir of Faith, Sexuality, and Staying in the ChurchSupport and community If this episode brings up thoughts of suicide or you need immediate emotional support, call or text 988 in the United States or Canada. For support around faith and sexuality, CenterPeace offers community for LGBTQ people, their families, and church leaders. Music credits With thanks to the musicians whose work helps tell this story: Aakash Gandhi: “Invisible Beauty”; “Liquid Time”Asher Fulero: “Hopeful Freedom”Dan Lebowitz: “Take Your Time”Esther Abrami: “No.2 Remembering Her”Joel Cummins: “Resolve”JR Tundra: “Red Hot Son”The Mini Vandals: “City of the Wolf”Wayne Jones: “A Quiet Thought”; “Touching Moment”Zachariah Hickman: “Leaning On the Everlasting Arms”TunePocket Exclusive: “All Hayle To The Dayes (Modern Pop Ballad)”Chris Zabriskie: “The Temperature of the Air on the Bow of the Kaleetan”, available under Creative Commons Attribution 4.0. Mixed beneath narration and processed as part of the episode soundtrack.Additional audio credits: “Esperanza” by bmangelo; microphone feedback and tapping by freqman; road and busy-room ambience by breviceps; small-group conversation ambience by neilraouf; car-door and engine audio by nematoki; and Zoom connection audio by rachelribeiro71. References and further reading Sally Gary: “Still One of You”, CenterPeace Conference, October 23, 2020.Mark Wingfield: “Meet Sally Gary, the Churches of Christ advocate for gay Christians”, Baptist News Global, March 25, 2021.Sally Gary: “Coming Out. A Quarter of a Century Later.”, December 16, 2021.Sally Gary: “My Response to ACU’s Holy Sexuality Week”, November 26, 2023.Sally Gary and James Gorman: “Interview #12 — Sally Gary”, Abilene Christian University’s Churches of Christ in the 21st Century Oral History Project, September 6, 2022.Eerdmans: “Five Questions with Sally Gary”, February 23, 2021.Nicola Menzie: “‘Loves God, Likes Girls’ Author Talks Myths Christians Believe About Same-Sex Attraction”, The Christian Post, July 12, 2013.The Christian Chronicle: “Review: Authors offer insights on same-sex attraction, faith”, 2013.Karen R. Keen: “Will You Meet Me at CenterPeace?”, September 5, 2024.Guy Hammond: Response to Sally Gary’s announcement, Renew.org. Included as the non-affirming perspective discussed in the episode.Sally Gary: Loves God, Likes Girls: A Memoir. Leafwood Publishers, 2013.Sally Gary: Affirming: A Memoir of Faith, Sexuality, and Staying in the Church. Eerdmans, 2021.CenterPeace: Mission, history, and current programs.

See All (13)

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

The Secret Is Out tells the coming-out stories of LGBTQ people — from celebrities, athletes and musicians to people whose stories you may be hearing for the first time. Hosted by Stan Stadig, who came out later in life himself, each episode goes beyond the moment someone said “I’m gay.” We look at the life before it: the families, faith, careers, relationships and expectations that can make living in the closet feel safer than telling the truth. Some stories changed sports, music or popular culture. Others changed one family or one life. But they all have something in common: there was a secret, there was a reason for keeping it, and eventually, the secret came out. These are LGBTQ coming-out stories about what it takes to hide who you are — and what can happen when you finally stop.

Information

  • Creator
    Stan Stadig
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Secret Is OUT
  • Show Website
    The Secret Is OUT

You Might Also Like