Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Dr. Jessica Higgins
  • 4.8 (140)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.

  1. 3d ago

    ERP 539: When Work Follows You Home: Protecting Connection Before Stress Becomes Disconnection — An Interview with Dr. Guy Winch

    Are you bringing home more than just your briefcase at the end of a long workday? For many, the hidden toll of workplace stress doesn't stay behind at the office—it seeps into our most intimate relationships, silently undermining connection, emotional safety, and even physical closeness. It's a problem so common and subtle that many don't realize work is affecting their love life until the damage is already done. In this episode, listeners are invited to uncover the overlooked ways that work stress spills over into the home, affecting both partners' emotional well-being and the overall health of their relationship. The conversation explores how chronic pressure at work can disrupt intimacy, communication, and even one's sex drive, while providing practical strategies and ritual ideas to help couples reclaim their connection. Through actionable tips on communication, intentional transitions, and building emotional resilience, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming work-induced disconnect into renewed connection and support. Dr. Guy Winch is an internationally renowned psychologist and bestselling author who advocates for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. His 3 TED Talks have garnered over 35 million views, and his science-based self-help books have been translated into 30 languages: Emotional First Aid, How to Fix a Broken Heart, and The Squeaky Wheel. His newest book is Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life (Simon & Schuster).   Episode Highlights 05:52 How work stress and burnout manifest in relationships. 09:40 The emotional ripple effect: How one partner's stress impacts the other. 12:13 Negative cycles: Perceptions, attachment, and relational downward spirals. 14:55 Naming stress and practical communication tools. 18:39 Micro-expressions, tone, and the subtle cues we send. 20:32 Regression under stress and the impact on coping skills. 24:22 The power of ritual: Transitioning from work life to home life. 27:59 Engaging the senses: Tools and traditions for mindset shifts. 31:16 Intentionality, agency, and the value of compartmentalization. 33:50 Boundaries around work talk and rekindling couple connection. 38:45 Empathy, understanding bids for connection, and reframing relationship challenges.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Establish a Daily Transition Ritual: Create a routine that signals the shift from work to home life, such as listening to calming music, changing clothes, or lighting a specific candle to help your brain shift gears. Name Your Emotional State: Verbally acknowledge your mood or stress level to your partner when you arrive home, reducing uncertainty and fostering understanding. Communicate Your Needs: Clearly state if you need time to decompress before interacting, setting expectations, and providing your partner with context. Use Venting and Problem-Solving Time: Divide post-work conversations into venting and solution-focused segments, aiming to wrap up with action steps or reframing to avoid lingering stress. Compartmentalize Work Worries: Write down concerns and physically or psychologically "put them away," or schedule "worry time" later, allowing you to be more present at home. Limit Work Talk Boundaries: Set aside a defined period to talk about your day with your partner, then intentionally shift focus to non-work connection and relaxation. Foster Quick Emotional Connection: Engage in brief but meaningful actions such as holding hands, reminiscing over old photos, or talking about a shared show to nurture emotional intimacy even when tired. Practice Mutual Empathy: Intentionally try to imagine your partner's day and emotional needs, using empathy as a tool to bridge gaps and prevent misinterpretations caused by stress or depletion.   Mentioned Mind Over Grind (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) How to Fix a Broken Heart (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Emotional First Aid (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Squeaky Wheel (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free relationship guide) Connect with Dr. Guy Winch Website: guywinch.com Facebook: facebook.com/guywinchauthor X: twitter.com/guywinch YouTube: youtube.com/@GuyWinch Instagram: instagram.com/guywinch LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/guywinch

  2. Jul 21

    ERP 538: The Agreements That Hold Love Together: What a Divorce Attorney Sees Couples Learn Too Late — An Interview with Diana Romanov

    Is it ever just one big betrayal that ends a relationship—or is it those little, silent compromises and unspoken problems that slowly unravel the love you built? Too often, couples find themselves at a crossroads, wondering when things started to go wrong and why the issues weren't tackled before it was too late. In this episode, listeners will hear stories pulled straight from the front lines of relationship dissolution and learn how to recognize the warning signs before they escalate. Through real-life examples and expert insights, the conversation shines a light on why negotiating boundaries, having difficult conversations, and making intentional choices are key to lasting trust and security. Whether you're hoping to repair a current relationship or avoid missteps in the future, this discussion offers tangible strategies and invaluable perspective to help navigate moments of rupture—and rebuild stronger than before. Diana Romanov is the founder of Romanov Law, PC, an award-winning family law attorney based in San Francisco, a Certified Family Law Specialist, and the creator of the Divorce Like a Boss YouTube channel. She began her career as a prosecutor in Berlin's Regional Superior Court before transitioning into family law, where she brings a blend of legal insight, emotional intelligence, and cultural fluency. Her work centers on helping people navigate conflict, rebuild connection, and create relationships with more stability and intention.   Episode Highlights 03:15 Red flags and relational power dynamics: Learning from divorce stories. 08:05 Negotiating differences, rupture, and repair in relationships. 11:13 The importance of alignment: Deal breakers, assumptions, and communication. 16:17 Resentment, expressing boundaries, and the dangers of unspoken discontent. 18:53 Building skills for assertiveness and self-expression. 20:28 Consequences of avoidance, agreements, and legal realities in divorce. 25:06 Consistency, trust, and the challenge of repair after betrayal. 27:12 Choice, ambivalence, and taking responsibility for relationship direction. 31:42 Recognizing patterns: Early signs and lessons from relational history. 36:01 Communication tools: Tone, "I" statements, and focusing on desired outcomes. 40:02 Commitment, energy, and the call for authenticity in relationship decisions.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Give Relationships Enough Time: Avoid rushing into commitment—spend at least three years getting to know someone before making major life decisions together to truly understand compatibility. Negotiate Core Values Early: Have open conversations about important topics such as money management, exclusivity, and future goals to avoid hidden deal-breakers. Retain Individual Autonomy: Maintain your career, interests, and a sense of independence within your relationship, rather than becoming overly financially or emotionally dependent on your partner. Address Issues Promptly: Clear the air by expressing resentments within 24 hours, after calming down if necessary, to prevent long-term accumulation and resentment. Practice Assertive Communication: Use "I" statements to communicate your feelings and needs without blame or accusation, especially when discussing disagreements. Visualize Desired Outcomes Before Reacting: Before addressing a conflict, pause and consider what outcome you desire from the conversation, choosing words that help you move toward that goal. Make Conscious Choices and Set Timelines: If facing a major rupture, commit to working on repair for a set period (e.g., one year), then evaluate whether to stay or leave, rather than remaining in ongoing indecision. Learn from Past Patterns: Examine your partner's and your own relationship histories for repeated behaviors, as these often indicate future patterns.   Mentioned Good Together (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Divorce Like a Boss with Diana Romanovska (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free relationship guide)   Connect with Diana Romanov Website: romanovlaw.com Instagram: instagram.com/divorce_like_a_boss  Facebook: facebook.com/FamilyLawCalifornia YouTube: youtube.com/@Diana-Romanov LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/romanovska

  3. Jul 14

    ERP 537: The Relationship Mirror: How Dreams Reveal What We're Not Seeing — An Interview with Dr. Bonnie Buckner

    Ever wonder why certain conflicts keep resurfacing in your relationships, or why you wake from a vivid dream feeling shaken without understanding why? Sometimes, the real roots of our struggles with loved ones aren't just out in the open—they're buried in the deeper layers of our own subconscious. When we ignore these internal signals, challenges can feel insurmountable, and solutions remain out of reach. In this episode, listeners will explore how dreams and moments of inner reflection can act as a mirror, revealing hidden emotions and unresolved patterns that shape the way we connect with others. By diving into the interplay between our inner world and our daily lives, practical techniques are shared to help harness the wisdom of dreams and self-inquiry—so relationships can become more creative, connected, and resilient in the face of recurring challenges. Bonnie Buckner, PhD, is founder and CEO of the International Institute for Dreaming and Imagery®, author of THE SECRET MIND, and Program Lead for George Washington University's One Humanity Leadership Coaching Certification Program, where she uses dreaming and imagery work to develop coaches.   Episode Highlights 04:37 How nighttime reflections illuminate daily life and relationships. 08:52 Emotional processing: Recalibrating through dreams. 11:39 Dreams as personal mirrors: Identifying patterns and insights. 14:06 Creativity, imagination, and the value of contemplative states. 16:25 Applying dreamwork principles to relationship challenges. 19:31 Inner conflict, projection, and energetic shifts in relationships. 24:05 Linking inner awareness to relationship dynamics. 28:53 The essentials of effective dream journaling. 30:58 Benefits of detailed dream recall and handwriting practices. 35:11 Shifting relationship patterns through dream awareness. 39:45 Perspective-taking and empathy through dream-inspired creativity. 42:31 Navigating mystery and uncertainty in relationship communication. 48:18 Best practices for couples exploring dreams together.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Record Your Dreams: Write down your dreams in detail as soon as you wake up, resisting the urge to edit or judge the content. Reflect Without Editing: Practice non-editing and non-judging by documenting all aspects of your dream, including emotions, images, and phrases, to foster honest self-inquiry. Identify Emotional Themes: Look for recurring emotions or patterns in your dreams, such as anger or anxiety, which may point to unresolved inner conflicts. Apply Dream Insights to Waking Life: If you notice yourself using strong language (e.g., "nightmare boss") in daily life, pause to examine your emotional response and recalibrate internally. Practice Waking Dream Exercises: Revisit challenging dream scenarios while awake, imagining new responses—like facing a monster instead of running—to shift internal dynamics. Acknowledge All Facets of Self: Recognize that different dream symbols represent multiple aspects of yourself, helping you better understand your reactions and behaviors. Share Dreams Mindfully With Partners: When discussing dreams with your partner, speak from your own perspective (e.g., "If it were my dream...") and avoid interpreting their experience as fact. Embrace Curiosity and Mystery: Approach both your dreams and your partner with openness to not knowing, allowing for shared exploration and growth even through uncertainty.   Mentioned The Secret Mind (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) One Humanity Leadership Coaching Certification (*George Washington University) (program) Jeremy Taylor (dream worker) (article) DreamSenseMemory - a Gestalt-based dream-work approach embracing all our senses (National Library of Medicine) (article) Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love (free relationship guide)   Connect with Dr. Bonnie Buckner Websites: bonniebuckner.com | institutefordreamingandimagery.com Facebook: facebook.com/drbonniebuckner/ | facebook.com/institutefordreamingandimagery Instagram: instagram.com/bonniebucknerdotcom/ | instagram.com/dreamwithiidi LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bonniebuckner/ | linkedin.com/company/international-institute-for-dreaming-and-imagery/posts/?feedView=all

  4. Jul 7

    ERP 536: Beyond the Budget: How Couples Align Money, Happiness, and Meaning — An Interview with Lori Atwood

    Money can be the silent partner in every relationship—often creating tension, stress, and confusion that can easily escalate into conflict. Beneath the numbers, every dollar spent or saved carries deeper questions about happiness, security, and the life we're working so hard to build together. How can couples bridge the gap between financial security and true personal fulfillment, especially when their instincts and money habits seem worlds apart? In this episode, listeners are guided through the core foundations of financial well-being and shown how to transform money conversations from battlegrounds into opportunities for connection. The discussion offers practical strategies for navigating differing money personalities, building trust and transparency, and creating shared goals. Listeners will learn why understanding the "why" behind spending habits matters as much as the "how" of budgeting, and how aligning values can lead to both financial security and genuine happiness in a partnership. Lori Atwood is the founder and CEO of Fearless Finance and a CFP® professional. Lori created Fearless Finance to make expert, fiduciary, hourly financial planning accessible to everyone with no sales, no minimums, and no judgment. Lori's been in finance for over 25 years, starting in investment banking, asset management, and private equity before starting Fearless Finance in 2016.   Episode Highlights 05:03 Understanding deep-rooted money habits in relationships. 08:58 Merging finances: Transparency, trust, and relationship satisfaction. 11:04 The link between personal happiness and financial well-being. 14:19 Identifying the root causes behind spending and financial stress. 18:28 Exploring life changes: Navigating career shifts and financial decisions. 20:34 Overcoming financial paralysis: Bringing clarity to big decisions. 23:43 The five financial foundations every couple needs. 27:45 Negotiating financial priorities and the complexity of fairness. 30:51 Making deliberate financial choices and the power of data. 34:57 Empathy, non-judgment, and the importance of transparency. 36:53 Personalizing savings goals and uncovering hidden financial motivations. 41:35 Divorce, separation, and preparing for major financial transitions. 45:11 Individual happiness, financial security, and taking informed action.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Spend Less Than You Earn: Track your monthly income and expenses to ensure you consistently spend less than you bring in. Set Up an Oopsie Fund: Establish a cash reserve of $3,000–$5,000 in a separate account to cover unexpected expenses like car repairs or emergency travel. Build an Emergency Fund: Save three to six months' worth of living expenses in a high-yield savings or money market account to protect against major disruptions like job loss or illness. Contribute to Retirement: Allocate at least 15% of your pre-tax income to retirement accounts, using employer matches and Roth or traditional IRAs if available. Manage Consumer Debt: Pay off or create a plan to reduce unsecured debt, such as credit cards and personal loans, before setting other financial goals. Merge Finances for Transparency: If you're in a committed partnership, consider merging accounts to enhance trust, transparency, and shared financial management. Communicate Financial Priorities: Regularly discuss values, priorities, and spending plans with your partner to proactively address differences and prevent misunderstandings. Seek Fiduciary Financial Advice: Get unbiased financial guidance from fee-only, fiduciary advisors whose costs are transparent and posted upfront.   Mentioned Common Cents: Bank Account Structure and Couples' Relationship Dynamics (Journal of Consumer Research) (article) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide)   Connect with Lori Atwood Website: fearlessfinance.com Facebook: facebook.com/fearlessfinance Instagram: instagram.com/fearlessfinance LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/fearless-finance X: x.com/fearlessfinance  TikTok: tiktok.com/@fearlessfinance

  5. Jun 30

    ERP 535: When Walls Replace Boundaries: The Hidden Path Back to Connection - An Interview with Kate King

    Are you building walls—or are you setting boundaries? It's a question that goes to the heart of why so many relationships end up feeling distant or disconnected. In a world where emotional safety matters more than ever, knowing when you're protecting yourself versus shutting others out can make all the difference. Too often, our automatic defenses keep us from the kind of authentic intimacy and connection we deeply crave. In this episode, listeners are guided through understanding the difference between healthy boundaries and protective walls, how early experiences shape these survival strategies, and what it takes to become more conscious and intentional in relating. Practical examples and heartfelt stories reveal how increased awareness and compassionate communication can help transform old protective patterns, paving the way for deeper connection and a more resilient love. Kate King, MA, LPC, ATR-BC, is a licensed professional counselor and board-certified art therapist with nearly twenty years of experience helping individuals heal their inner wounds so they can positively contribute to the evolving collective. Her work incorporates a dynamic synergy of brain and nervous system science, psychological teachings, spiritual practices, and art therapeutic creative expression to provide a unique and effective approach to healing and growth, personally and relationally. King is also a professional artist, podcast host, creative entrepreneur, and multi-award-winning author.   Episode Highlights 05:15 Understanding protective walls vs. boundaries. 11:16 Impact of parenting on relationships. 14:44 Understanding nervous system activation in relationships. 17:35 Stages of change and contemplation. 20:55 Navigating change and inner growth. 25:35 Discussing attachment styles in relationships. 28:11 Early communication in a relationship. 32:16 Discussing emotional walls with mom. 35:33 Discussing intimacy and vulnerability. 38:39 Navigating personal relationships and stress. 41:32 Understanding boundaries vs. requests. 43:04 Setting personal boundaries. 51:40 The Radiant Life Project website.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Reflect on Your Patterns: Take time to observe your own relationship habits, especially when you feel disconnected or defensive, and ask yourself if you are putting up walls or setting boundaries. Differentiate Boundaries and Walls: Regularly check if your limits are collaborative and flexible (boundaries) or rigid and isolating (walls), making adjustments as needed. Acknowledge Your Triggers: Identify early life experiences or stressors that might influence your current relational responses, and get curious about old protective strategies that may not serve you anymore. Communicate Openly: Share your patterns and needs with your partner, even if it feels vulnerable, to foster mutual understanding and support. Request Instead of Demand: Clearly articulate requests to your partner rather than ultimatums, and express how their behaviors impact you without blaming. Set Intentional Boundaries: Be explicit about what you need for your emotional safety and communicate how you will care for yourself if those needs aren't respected, rather than focusing on controlling your partner's actions. Practice Titration: Take small, manageable risks in sharing more of yourself or softening boundaries as you build trust and safety in the relationship. Integrate and Process: After moments of growth or conflict, intentionally reflect and give your mind and body space to integrate new experiences so you can expand your relational capacity.   Mentioned Mend or Move On (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Radiant Life Project (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) ERP 150: What To Do When Stuck In Self Sabotage Integral Theory by Ken Wilber Carol Gilligan's Theory of Moral Development Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide)   Connect with Kate King Website: theradiantlifeproject.com Facebook: facebook.com/TheRadiantLifeProject Instagram: instagram.com/theradiantlifeproject LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/theradiantlifeproject/  TikTok: tiktok.com/@theradiantlifeproject

  6. Jun 23

    ERP 534: Why Emotional Safety Isn't Just a Conversation—It's a Nervous System Experience - An Interview with Dr. Monique Thompson

    Feeling safe in a relationship isn't just about talking things through—it's about what happens deep within our bodies. When emotional wounds strike or betrayals occur, the impact is felt not only in the heart but in the nervous system, shifting how we experience and respond to our partners. Real healing goes beyond surface-level dialogue and requires us to understand how our physiological state shapes our sense of security, trust, and connection. In this episode, listeners are guided to rethink emotional safety as a whole-body experience. By unpacking the link between the nervous system and relationship repair, the discussion provides science-backed insights and actionable strategies to rebuild trust and connection after relational harm. Whether you're seeking healing after a rupture or tools for ongoing growth, this episode offers a fresh, embodied perspective on what it takes to create lasting emotional safety. Dr. Monique Thompson is a trauma-informed therapist, life coach, and best-selling author with over two decades of clinical experience. Her work integrates Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Polyvagal-informed care, and principles of epigenetics to help individuals and couples heal trauma, rebuild trust, and create lasting emotional regulation and resilience.   Episode Highlights 03:56 Reflecting on healing through a car wreck metaphor. 09:09 Exploring Jill Bo Taylor's groundbreaking insights. 15:37 Exploring modern infidelity in relationships. 17:57 Exploring complex relationship dynamics and boundaries. 20:25 Addressing hidden relationship issues. 24:38 Exploring the hidden mental health benefits of walking. 28:35 Exploring color connections to mood during walks. 31:51 Reflecting on and expressing gratitude with loved ones. 36:12 Decoding therapy lingo and referral insights. 39:36 Navigating decisions with trauma awareness. 43:34 Navigating healing after childhood trauma. 48:58 Exploring stress and its hidden effects. 50:29 Exploring the concept of emotional hygiene. 53:32 Discovering unexpected insights from partners who cheated. 57:04 Exploring relationship growth resources.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Pause and Breathe: Take a moment of pause with deep breaths to settle yourself and become present before addressing relationship issues. Self-Inquiry: Regularly check in with your deeper feelings and truths, beyond your immediate surface reactions, to get clarity on your emotional state. Take Ownership: If you've contributed to a rupture, take personal responsibility and reflect on the most obvious way you can begin repair, such as ending harmful behaviors. Prioritize Emotional Check-ins: After a rupture or betrayal, consistently check in emotionally with both yourself and your partner to stay aware of what you both need. Spend Time in Nature: Set aside at least 11 minutes outside, either walking or sitting, to help lower stress levels and support nervous system regulation. Engage in Movement: Use mindful walks of 30-45 minutes to process emotions and shift your physiological state toward calm and self-connection. Invite Supportive Companions: Bring to mind or reach out to someone who has supported you in the past, letting their positive influence help regulate your emotions. Seek Professional Guidance: If trauma or recurring ruptures persist, consult a trauma-informed therapist or coach, asking for specific referrals rather than relying on generic online searches.   Mentioned Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) My stroke of insight (TED) (video) Helen Fisher (website) Polyvagal Theory (website) Gottman Institute (website) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Depression 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Dr. Monique Thompson Website: doctormoniquethompson.com Facebook: facebook.com/MoniqueThompsonLPC YouTube: youtube.com/@mthompsonlpc Instagram: instagram.com/drmoniquethompson LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dr-monique-thompson-dha-lpc-lpc-s-a3066041

  7. Jun 16

    ERP 533: How Couples Unintentionally Trade Passion for Stability — An Interview with Dr. Bruce Chalmer

    Do you feel miles apart from your partner—even though you still love each other deeply? Many long-term couples gradually drift into a "roommate" dynamic: life feels stable, the relationship is intact, but something vital is missing. Over time, habits and strategies designed to avoid conflict and maintain harmony can quietly diminish the spark, intimacy, and passion that once brought you together. In this episode, you'll discover why emotional distance often develops in otherwise loving relationships and what it takes to reconnect. Through fresh insights, relatable examples, and practical guidance, this conversation explores how the pursuit of stability can sometimes come at the expense of closeness. You'll learn why deeper intimacy requires a willingness to tolerate vulnerability, uncertainty, and emotional risk—and how embracing those challenges can strengthen your bond. Whether your relationship feels mildly disconnected or stuck in a long-standing rut, you'll come away with actionable tools and new perspectives to help reignite passion and create a more meaningful connection. Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist and couples therapist with over 30 years of experience helping partners navigate the complexities of long-term relationships. Drawing on clinical insight, real-world compassion, and a deep understanding of how intimacy and anxiety intertwine, Dr. Chalmer has guided countless couples through the challenges explored in his books, video courses, and posts. With his wife, Judy Alexander, he is also the co-host of the podcast Couples Therapy in Seven Words and a trusted voice in relationship education.   Episode Highlights 04:30 How couples grapple with the competing needs for both stability and intimacy—and why this paradox lies at the heart of lasting relationships. 06:42 What often surprises couples in therapy and how rethinking "conflict" can actually bring unexpected relief and clarity. 11:22 How the pursuit of stability can slowly erode intimacy and why some couples find themselves drifting into "roommate mode" without realizing it. 15:15 Real-life examples of couples who deeply love each other but have quietly slipped into a routine that lacks real connection. 16:11 How fears—both known and hidden—can keep us from bringing up tough topics and leave couples feeling stuck. 22:15 Hidden anxieties that might be holding them back, especially for men. 23:51 What makes couples therapy so intimidating for so many. 27:26 How finding meaning—even in moments of anxiety—can shift your entire experience of relationship struggles. 31:08 How facing relationship challenges together can lead to a new sense of gratitude and growth that endures—even if the outcome isn't what you expected. 37:55 Practical guidance on taking safe, manageable steps toward greater connection. 39:18 How embracing curiosity, support, and small risks can foster hope, healing, and renewed passion in your relationship.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Pause and Breathe: Take a moment to ground yourself with deep breaths before entering important conversations to increase presence and reduce anxiety. Get Curious, Not Panicked: Approach difficult topics with curiosity instead of fear, reminding yourself that discomfort does not signal dysfunction. Acknowledge and Validate Fears: Recognize your own and your partner's fears as legitimate rather than dismissing them, creating a safer environment for vulnerability. Define Desired Change: Together with your partner, clarify what "better" would look like in your relationship, orienting focus toward shared goals. Risk Small Vulnerabilities: Start by sharing a small, meaningful feeling or need with your partner, even if it feels scary, to practice intimacy in manageable doses. Reflect on Meaning and Purpose: Remind yourself of the value and meaning of your relationship, which can help bolster courage to tolerate uncertainty and discomfort. Use Support Systems: Consider seeking guidance from resources like books, video courses, or a trusted couples therapist to experience new ways of connecting. Celebrate Progress: After taking interpersonal risks, acknowledge positive outcomes and growth, reinforcing your willingness to keep stretching toward greater intimacy.   Mentioned The Passion Paradox (course) The Passion Paradox (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Betrayal and Forgiveness (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Couples Therapy in Seven Words (podcast) Principia Amoris (book) Man's Search for Meaning (book) Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (book) Managing Conflict in Relationships: An Interview with Dr. Jessica Higgins (YouTube episode) ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship ERP 015: Do You Have A "Unity" Or "Journey" Mindset In Relationship? ERP 446: Dealing With Betrayal In Relationship & Learning To Forgive 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer Websites: brucechalmer.com | couplestherapyinsevenwords.com  Facebook: facebook.com/drbrucechalmer  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bruce-chalmer-95ab70305/  Instagram: instagram.com/dr_bruce_chalmer  YouTube: youtube.com/brucechalmer TikTok: tiktok.com/@drbrucechalmer  Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/couples-therapy-in-seven-words/id1517231158

  8. Jun 9

    ERP 532: Acceptance and Change in Love: How Couples Navigate Conflict and Connection - An Interview with Dr. Shireen Rizvi

    Navigating the ups and downs of relationships can feel like learning a new language without a guidebook. When emotions run high, or misunderstandings arise, it's easy to get stuck in frustration or repeat patterns that don't serve us—or our partners—well. How do you ask for what you need, stay true to yourself, and keep the connection strong, all at the same time? In this episode, the discussion explores practical tools rooted in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that help you strike a balance between self-respect, relationship wellbeing, and getting your needs met. Listeners will discover how to pause and choose more effective responses in moments of conflict, learn key strategies for emotional regulation, and find new ways to approach differences with acceptance and actionable change. Whether you're struggling to communicate a small annoyance or facing recurring arguments, this conversation offers concrete skills to foster growth and resilience in any relationship. Shireen Rizvi is a licensed clinical psychologist, board-certified in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Over the past 25 years, Shireen has conducted research and training in DBT. Her new book, Real Skills for Real Life, co-authored with Dr. Jesse Finkelstein, is available now.   Episode Highlights 03:35 Introduction to DBT therapy. 07:55 Learning relationship skills gradually. 10:49 Marcia Linehan's therapy development. 16:07 Embracing acceptance and change. 21:30 Balancing objectives and relationships. 25:33 Balancing priorities in relationships. 29:02 Understanding Emotion Regulation in DBT. 31:29 Understanding emotional dysregulation. 35:08 Managing conflict in relationships. 40:28 Using DBT skills for anxiety. 43:36 Book and resources overview.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Identify Your Objective. Clarify what specific outcome you are hoping to achieve before entering a conversation or making a request. Consider Relationship Impact: Reflect on how you want the other person to feel about you and your relationship after the interaction. Prioritize Self-Respect: Decide how you want to feel about yourself based on how you handle a situation, ensuring you act in line with your values. Pause Before Reacting: When emotions run high, intentionally pause and consider your options before responding or reaching out to your partner. Practice Acceptance and Change: Acknowledge areas where acceptance is needed and where change is possible, aiming for a balanced approach in ongoing issues. Prepare Requests Clearly (DEAR MAN Skill): Formulate clear, specific, and assertive requests using tools like the DEAR MAN acronym to increase the likelihood of your needs being met. Monitor Emotional State: Regularly check in with yourself to assess your emotional regulation, especially before and during difficult interactions. Reflect on Interpersonal Patterns: Periodically review your tendencies in conflict (e.g., always prioritizing the relationship or objective) and adjust to create more balance and effectiveness in your interactions.   Mentioned Real Skills for Real Life (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Real Skills for Real Life (*Guilford Press link) (book) The High-Conflict Couple (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) About Dr. Jesse Finkelstein (TheraHive) Marsha M. Linehan  Gottman Institute Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (Free Guide)   Connect with Dr. Shireen Rizvi Website: shireenrizvi.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/shireen-rizvi-1a5544193 Co-author of the book Real Skills for Real Life: https://www.therahive.com/team/jesse-finkelstein

See All (539)

4.8
out of 5
140 Ratings

About

The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.

Information