Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Dr. Jessica Higgins
  • 4.8 (140)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.

  1. 2d ago

    ERP 535: When Walls Replace Boundaries: The Hidden Path Back to Connection - An Interview with Kate King

    Are you building walls—or are you setting boundaries? It's a question that goes to the heart of why so many relationships end up feeling distant or disconnected. In a world where emotional safety matters more than ever, knowing when you're protecting yourself versus shutting others out can make all the difference. Too often, our automatic defenses keep us from the kind of authentic intimacy and connection we deeply crave. In this episode, listeners are guided through understanding the difference between healthy boundaries and protective walls, how early experiences shape these survival strategies, and what it takes to become more conscious and intentional in relating. Practical examples and heartfelt stories reveal how increased awareness and compassionate communication can help transform old protective patterns, paving the way for deeper connection and a more resilient love. Kate King, MA, LPC, ATR-BC, is a licensed professional counselor and board-certified art therapist with nearly twenty years of experience helping individuals heal their inner wounds so they can positively contribute to the evolving collective. Her work incorporates a dynamic synergy of brain and nervous system science, psychological teachings, spiritual practices, and art therapeutic creative expression to provide a unique and effective approach to healing and growth, personally and relationally. King is also a professional artist, podcast host, creative entrepreneur, and multi-award-winning author.   Episode Highlights 05:15 Understanding protective walls vs. boundaries. 11:16 Impact of parenting on relationships. 14:44 Understanding nervous system activation in relationships. 17:35 Stages of change and contemplation. 20:55 Navigating change and inner growth. 25:35 Discussing attachment styles in relationships. 28:11 Early communication in a relationship. 32:16 Discussing emotional walls with mom. 35:33 Discussing intimacy and vulnerability. 38:39 Navigating personal relationships and stress. 41:32 Understanding boundaries vs. requests. 43:04 Setting personal boundaries. 51:40 The Radiant Life Project website.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Reflect on Your Patterns: Take time to observe your own relationship habits, especially when you feel disconnected or defensive, and ask yourself if you are putting up walls or setting boundaries. Differentiate Boundaries and Walls: Regularly check if your limits are collaborative and flexible (boundaries) or rigid and isolating (walls), making adjustments as needed. Acknowledge Your Triggers: Identify early life experiences or stressors that might influence your current relational responses, and get curious about old protective strategies that may not serve you anymore. Communicate Openly: Share your patterns and needs with your partner, even if it feels vulnerable, to foster mutual understanding and support. Request Instead of Demand: Clearly articulate requests to your partner rather than ultimatums, and express how their behaviors impact you without blaming. Set Intentional Boundaries: Be explicit about what you need for your emotional safety and communicate how you will care for yourself if those needs aren't respected, rather than focusing on controlling your partner's actions. Practice Titration: Take small, manageable risks in sharing more of yourself or softening boundaries as you build trust and safety in the relationship. Integrate and Process: After moments of growth or conflict, intentionally reflect and give your mind and body space to integrate new experiences so you can expand your relational capacity.   Mentioned Mend or Move On (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Radiant Life Project (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) ERP 150: What To Do When Stuck In Self Sabotage Integral Theory by Ken Wilber Carol Gilligan's Theory of Moral Development Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide)   Connect with Kate King Website: theradiantlifeproject.com Facebook: facebook.com/TheRadiantLifeProject Instagram: instagram.com/theradiantlifeproject LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/theradiantlifeproject/  TikTok: tiktok.com/@theradiantlifeproject

    54 min

  2. Jun 23

    ERP 534: Why Emotional Safety Isn't Just a Conversation—It's a Nervous System Experience - An Interview with Dr. Monique Thompson

    Feeling safe in a relationship isn't just about talking things through—it's about what happens deep within our bodies. When emotional wounds strike or betrayals occur, the impact is felt not only in the heart but in the nervous system, shifting how we experience and respond to our partners. Real healing goes beyond surface-level dialogue and requires us to understand how our physiological state shapes our sense of security, trust, and connection. In this episode, listeners are guided to rethink emotional safety as a whole-body experience. By unpacking the link between the nervous system and relationship repair, the discussion provides science-backed insights and actionable strategies to rebuild trust and connection after relational harm. Whether you're seeking healing after a rupture or tools for ongoing growth, this episode offers a fresh, embodied perspective on what it takes to create lasting emotional safety. Dr. Monique Thompson is a trauma-informed therapist, life coach, and best-selling author with over two decades of clinical experience. Her work integrates Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Polyvagal-informed care, and principles of epigenetics to help individuals and couples heal trauma, rebuild trust, and create lasting emotional regulation and resilience.   Episode Highlights 03:56 Reflecting on healing through a car wreck metaphor. 09:09 Exploring Jill Bo Taylor's groundbreaking insights. 15:37 Exploring modern infidelity in relationships. 17:57 Exploring complex relationship dynamics and boundaries. 20:25 Addressing hidden relationship issues. 24:38 Exploring the hidden mental health benefits of walking. 28:35 Exploring color connections to mood during walks. 31:51 Reflecting on and expressing gratitude with loved ones. 36:12 Decoding therapy lingo and referral insights. 39:36 Navigating decisions with trauma awareness. 43:34 Navigating healing after childhood trauma. 48:58 Exploring stress and its hidden effects. 50:29 Exploring the concept of emotional hygiene. 53:32 Discovering unexpected insights from partners who cheated. 57:04 Exploring relationship growth resources.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Pause and Breathe: Take a moment of pause with deep breaths to settle yourself and become present before addressing relationship issues. Self-Inquiry: Regularly check in with your deeper feelings and truths, beyond your immediate surface reactions, to get clarity on your emotional state. Take Ownership: If you've contributed to a rupture, take personal responsibility and reflect on the most obvious way you can begin repair, such as ending harmful behaviors. Prioritize Emotional Check-ins: After a rupture or betrayal, consistently check in emotionally with both yourself and your partner to stay aware of what you both need. Spend Time in Nature: Set aside at least 11 minutes outside, either walking or sitting, to help lower stress levels and support nervous system regulation. Engage in Movement: Use mindful walks of 30-45 minutes to process emotions and shift your physiological state toward calm and self-connection. Invite Supportive Companions: Bring to mind or reach out to someone who has supported you in the past, letting their positive influence help regulate your emotions. Seek Professional Guidance: If trauma or recurring ruptures persist, consult a trauma-informed therapist or coach, asking for specific referrals rather than relying on generic online searches.   Mentioned Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) My stroke of insight (TED) (video) Helen Fisher (website) Polyvagal Theory (website) Gottman Institute (website) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Depression 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Dr. Monique Thompson Website: doctormoniquethompson.com Facebook: facebook.com/MoniqueThompsonLPC YouTube: youtube.com/@mthompsonlpc Instagram: instagram.com/drmoniquethompson LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dr-monique-thompson-dha-lpc-lpc-s-a3066041

    58 min

  3. Jun 16

    ERP 533: How Couples Unintentionally Trade Passion for Stability — An Interview with Dr. Bruce Chalmer

    Do you feel miles apart from your partner—even though you still love each other deeply? Many long-term couples gradually drift into a "roommate" dynamic: life feels stable, the relationship is intact, but something vital is missing. Over time, habits and strategies designed to avoid conflict and maintain harmony can quietly diminish the spark, intimacy, and passion that once brought you together. In this episode, you'll discover why emotional distance often develops in otherwise loving relationships and what it takes to reconnect. Through fresh insights, relatable examples, and practical guidance, this conversation explores how the pursuit of stability can sometimes come at the expense of closeness. You'll learn why deeper intimacy requires a willingness to tolerate vulnerability, uncertainty, and emotional risk—and how embracing those challenges can strengthen your bond. Whether your relationship feels mildly disconnected or stuck in a long-standing rut, you'll come away with actionable tools and new perspectives to help reignite passion and create a more meaningful connection. Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist and couples therapist with over 30 years of experience helping partners navigate the complexities of long-term relationships. Drawing on clinical insight, real-world compassion, and a deep understanding of how intimacy and anxiety intertwine, Dr. Chalmer has guided countless couples through the challenges explored in his books, video courses, and posts. With his wife, Judy Alexander, he is also the co-host of the podcast Couples Therapy in Seven Words and a trusted voice in relationship education.   Episode Highlights 04:30 How couples grapple with the competing needs for both stability and intimacy—and why this paradox lies at the heart of lasting relationships. 06:42 What often surprises couples in therapy and how rethinking "conflict" can actually bring unexpected relief and clarity. 11:22 How the pursuit of stability can slowly erode intimacy and why some couples find themselves drifting into "roommate mode" without realizing it. 15:15 Real-life examples of couples who deeply love each other but have quietly slipped into a routine that lacks real connection. 16:11 How fears—both known and hidden—can keep us from bringing up tough topics and leave couples feeling stuck. 22:15 Hidden anxieties that might be holding them back, especially for men. 23:51 What makes couples therapy so intimidating for so many. 27:26 How finding meaning—even in moments of anxiety—can shift your entire experience of relationship struggles. 31:08 How facing relationship challenges together can lead to a new sense of gratitude and growth that endures—even if the outcome isn't what you expected. 37:55 Practical guidance on taking safe, manageable steps toward greater connection. 39:18 How embracing curiosity, support, and small risks can foster hope, healing, and renewed passion in your relationship.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Pause and Breathe: Take a moment to ground yourself with deep breaths before entering important conversations to increase presence and reduce anxiety. Get Curious, Not Panicked: Approach difficult topics with curiosity instead of fear, reminding yourself that discomfort does not signal dysfunction. Acknowledge and Validate Fears: Recognize your own and your partner's fears as legitimate rather than dismissing them, creating a safer environment for vulnerability. Define Desired Change: Together with your partner, clarify what "better" would look like in your relationship, orienting focus toward shared goals. Risk Small Vulnerabilities: Start by sharing a small, meaningful feeling or need with your partner, even if it feels scary, to practice intimacy in manageable doses. Reflect on Meaning and Purpose: Remind yourself of the value and meaning of your relationship, which can help bolster courage to tolerate uncertainty and discomfort. Use Support Systems: Consider seeking guidance from resources like books, video courses, or a trusted couples therapist to experience new ways of connecting. Celebrate Progress: After taking interpersonal risks, acknowledge positive outcomes and growth, reinforcing your willingness to keep stretching toward greater intimacy.   Mentioned The Passion Paradox (course) The Passion Paradox (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Betrayal and Forgiveness (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Couples Therapy in Seven Words (podcast) Principia Amoris (book) Man's Search for Meaning (book) Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (book) Managing Conflict in Relationships: An Interview with Dr. Jessica Higgins (YouTube episode) ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship ERP 015: Do You Have A "Unity" Or "Journey" Mindset In Relationship? ERP 446: Dealing With Betrayal In Relationship & Learning To Forgive 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer Websites: brucechalmer.com | couplestherapyinsevenwords.com  Facebook: facebook.com/drbrucechalmer  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bruce-chalmer-95ab70305/  Instagram: instagram.com/dr_bruce_chalmer  YouTube: youtube.com/brucechalmer TikTok: tiktok.com/@drbrucechalmer  Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/couples-therapy-in-seven-words/id1517231158

    48 min

  4. Jun 9

    ERP 532: Acceptance and Change in Love: How Couples Navigate Conflict and Connection - An Interview with Dr. Shireen Rizvi

    Navigating the ups and downs of relationships can feel like learning a new language without a guidebook. When emotions run high, or misunderstandings arise, it's easy to get stuck in frustration or repeat patterns that don't serve us—or our partners—well. How do you ask for what you need, stay true to yourself, and keep the connection strong, all at the same time? In this episode, the discussion explores practical tools rooted in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that help you strike a balance between self-respect, relationship wellbeing, and getting your needs met. Listeners will discover how to pause and choose more effective responses in moments of conflict, learn key strategies for emotional regulation, and find new ways to approach differences with acceptance and actionable change. Whether you're struggling to communicate a small annoyance or facing recurring arguments, this conversation offers concrete skills to foster growth and resilience in any relationship. Shireen Rizvi is a licensed clinical psychologist, board-certified in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Over the past 25 years, Shireen has conducted research and training in DBT. Her new book, Real Skills for Real Life, co-authored with Dr. Jesse Finkelstein, is available now.   Episode Highlights 03:35 Introduction to DBT therapy. 07:55 Learning relationship skills gradually. 10:49 Marcia Linehan's therapy development. 16:07 Embracing acceptance and change. 21:30 Balancing objectives and relationships. 25:33 Balancing priorities in relationships. 29:02 Understanding Emotion Regulation in DBT. 31:29 Understanding emotional dysregulation. 35:08 Managing conflict in relationships. 40:28 Using DBT skills for anxiety. 43:36 Book and resources overview.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Identify Your Objective. Clarify what specific outcome you are hoping to achieve before entering a conversation or making a request. Consider Relationship Impact: Reflect on how you want the other person to feel about you and your relationship after the interaction. Prioritize Self-Respect: Decide how you want to feel about yourself based on how you handle a situation, ensuring you act in line with your values. Pause Before Reacting: When emotions run high, intentionally pause and consider your options before responding or reaching out to your partner. Practice Acceptance and Change: Acknowledge areas where acceptance is needed and where change is possible, aiming for a balanced approach in ongoing issues. Prepare Requests Clearly (DEAR MAN Skill): Formulate clear, specific, and assertive requests using tools like the DEAR MAN acronym to increase the likelihood of your needs being met. Monitor Emotional State: Regularly check in with yourself to assess your emotional regulation, especially before and during difficult interactions. Reflect on Interpersonal Patterns: Periodically review your tendencies in conflict (e.g., always prioritizing the relationship or objective) and adjust to create more balance and effectiveness in your interactions.   Mentioned Real Skills for Real Life (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Real Skills for Real Life (*Guilford Press link) (book) The High-Conflict Couple (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) About Dr. Jesse Finkelstein (TheraHive) Marsha M. Linehan  Gottman Institute Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (Free Guide)   Connect with Dr. Shireen Rizvi Website: shireenrizvi.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/shireen-rizvi-1a5544193 Co-author of the book Real Skills for Real Life: https://www.therahive.com/team/jesse-finkelstein

    46 min

  5. Jun 2

    ERP 531: When Desire Feels Lost: Why It's Not the Problem and What Actually Is — An Interview with Tarisha Tourok

    Desire isn't always as simple as it seems. For many couples, the initial spark of sexual and emotional intimacy can dim over time, replaced by questions, misunderstandings, and the painful sense that something has faded or is "broken." When mismatched desire enters a relationship, it can quickly become a battleground, leaving one or both partners feeling blamed, rejected, or disconnected—not only from each other but from their own bodies and needs. In this episode, listeners are invited to look beneath the surface of desire patterns and rethink how intimacy is cultivated over time. The conversation explores why the "problem" of desire is rarely rooted in one partner and how it is shaped instead by cycles of emotional and physical disconnection, unexamined beliefs, and the need for safety and self-awareness in the body. Listeners will discover tools for moving from blame toward curiosity, collaboration, and deep connection, and learn practical ways to rediscover what turns them on—together. Tarisha Tourok is a trauma-informed sex and relationship therapist and founder of Sexual Empowerment for Women. She helps unlock women's sexual desire and guides them into intimacy that melts their hearts and delights their souls. With 15+ years of experience, Tarisha blends psychotherapy, sacred sexuality, and somatic healing to help women reclaim the power and beauty of their sexuality—so they can live, love, and connect with radiant confidence.   Episode Highlights 06:06 Reframing desire differences. 12:14 The complex factors influencing sexual desire. 16:07 Shifting from spontaneous to responsive desire and reconnecting with your body. 19:39 Exploring how to build responsiveness and address past trauma 22:44 How culture, religion, and body image affect desire. 24:26 Generational influences and healing transgenerational trauma. 27:41 Breaking family cycles to create new patterns. 31:46 Building a stronger relationship with your body and sense of desire. 36:55 Emotional resonance, safety, and shared intimacy practices. 44:33 Cultivating intimacy through personal and relational growth. 49:18 Redefining pleasure: Connection over performance & practical resources.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Adopt a "Team" Mindset: Approach intimacy challenges as a shared experience rather than individual problems, discussing openly how to become partners in exploration. Create Space for Exploration: Remove blame and give both partners space to explore what turns each person on, without feeling pressure or guilt. Practice Vulnerability: Softly communicate underlying fears or insecurities instead of defaulting to frustration or blame, helping both partners connect on a deeper level. Carve Out Time for Intimacy: Intentionally prioritize time together, making room for connection and recognizing the impact of daily busyness on sexual desire. Reconnect with Your Body: Develop practices—such as breathwork, mindful movement, or sensory experiences—that help you feel and respond from within your body. Acknowledge and Address Blocks: Identify and compassionately address personal blocks like trauma, self-judgment, or negative societal messaging before focusing on sexual desire. Share Sexual Blueprints: Take a sexual desire quiz, compare results, and discuss with your partner what environments and practices make you feel most turned on and safe. Redefine Goals for Intimacy: Shift away from performance-oriented goals like orgasm, focusing instead on connection, pleasure, and mutual presence in your intimate experiences.   Mentioned Reclaim Your Sexual Confidence mini-course (free mini-course) Sexual Desire Quiz (quiz) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Tarisha Tourok Website: sexualempowermentforwomen.com Facebook: facebook.com/groups/theradiantwomenclub YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCvY7loDn-rDRUcUa-z3Lv_A Instagram: instagram.com/tarishatourok

    55 min

  6. May 26

    ERP 530: When Productivity Becomes a Barrier to Intimacy — An Interview with Israa Nasir

    Are you caught in the race to do more, be more, and achieve more—only to find yourself feeling stuck, disconnected, and unfulfilled? In an age where "hustle culture" pushes us to optimize every moment, a quiet crisis is unfolding: our relentless drive for productivity may actually be undermining our emotional wellness and closest relationships. In this episode, listeners are invited to take a closer look at how toxic productivity seeps into our personal lives, from romantic partnerships to friendships, and even the way we relate to ourselves. The conversation dissects the difference between healthy ambition and achievement born from unresolved emotions, explores why "performing" and "optimizing" can stifle genuine connection, and offers actionable steps to shift towards presence, self-compassion, and authenticity. Through relatable stories and research-backed insights, this episode helps listeners recognize these patterns and learn how to reclaim time, creativity, and real intimacy in their lives. Israa Nasir is a psychotherapist and founder of Well.Guide, who has cultivated a dedicated following of over 350,000 across social media for her evidence-based take on mental health and productivity. Israa's debut book, Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More, dives deep into the roots of hustle culture and dismantles the myth that our worth is tied to how much we accomplish. Drawing on therapeutic insights, client stories, and her own experience, Israa helps readers unlearn toxic patterns and adopt a more emotionally sustainable path forward.   Episode Highlights 04:07 Defining toxic productivity. 09:23 A personal journey from achievement chasing to emotional awareness. 13:11 How early experiences shape productivity patterns. 16:50 How optimization culture impacts relationships. 22:56 Restoring connection: Returning to presence and somatic awareness. 27:09 Measuring fulfillment: Moving beyond external checklists. 29:45 Barriers to genuine connection. 31:24 How busyness and parenting impact relationships. 34:34 How reevaluating commitments leads to more intentional choices. 37:57 Rediscovering play and creativity fosters connection.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Conduct a Time and Energy Audit: List out all your commitments from the past three weeks and reflect on which ones made you feel energized versus drained, then evaluate their necessity. Question Unexamined Obligations: Regularly ask yourself if certain routines, events, or roles (like always hosting or planning) are still serving you or are just a habit. Remove One Calendar Item Weekly: Apply the "Chanel rule" by intentionally taking one thing off your weekly schedule to create space for presence and restoration. Reconnect with Body Awareness: Check in with your body throughout the day—notice hunger, sleepiness, or stress cues instead of overriding them for productivity. Prioritize Genuine Connection Over Outcome: In relationships, focus more on the quality of your shared experiences and less on optimizing them for external validation. Cultivate Hobbies Without a Goal: Practice a hobby just for the sake of enjoyment and creativity, not for achievement or performance. Allow for Boredom and Unstructured Time: Create intentional moments for daydreaming, idleness, or simply "being" to spark connection and creativity. Respond to Emotional Needs, Not Just Tasks: In your partnerships, notice patterns rather than isolated actions and bring more grace, flexibility, and emotional presence to everyday interactions.   Mentioned Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids (Gottman Institute) (blog) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide)   Connect with Israa Nasir Website: israanasir.com Instagram: instagram.com/well.guide LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/israanasir TikTok: tiktok.com/@well.guide

    45 min

  7. May 19

    ERP 529: Unspoken Relationship Contracts: Why You Feel Resentful and What to Do About It — An Interview with Elizabeth Webb

    Are you stuck in a cycle of giving too much—or never quite feeling your needs are met—in your relationships? So many of us find ourselves trapped in unspoken agreements, repeating old patterns of imbalance, and wondering why our closest connections leave us feeling depleted and resentful. It's all too easy to slip into roles and routines that quietly erode intimacy, joy, and our sense of self. In this episode, listeners will discover the underlying dynamics of these "relationship contracts" and how they silently shape the balance (or imbalance) in our partnerships and friendships. Through insightful discussion, practical examples, and actionable tools, the conversation explores how to raise awareness of hidden patterns, reclaim personal agency, and foster healthier, more reciprocal connections—all while learning to have empowered conversations that turn resentment into collaboration and lasting growth. Elizabeth Webb is The Practical Priestess™ and an expert in positive psychology and human behavior. For over two decades, she's helped top leaders, celebrities, and change-makers break free from life's shackles, make empowered choices, and live a life they're excited to wake up to. Elizabeth brings her signature wisdom and wit to her debut book, Made for Magic.   Episode Highlights 05:56 Spotting the early signs of relationship imbalance. 07:08 Resentment, overgiving, and the dynamics of reciprocity. 11:08 Lovability, self-worth, and patterns of giving and receiving. 16:11 Changing unhelpful contracts: Willingness, ability, and conscious relating. 21:20 Reflecting on past patterns: Awareness and co-creation. 25:59 Clarifying needs vs. preferences in relationship dynamics. 28:54 Strategies for addressing and rewriting unspoken agreements. 35:05 Understanding the root of complaints. 38:00 A roadmap for empowered communication and requests. 40:32 Building collaboration and navigating negotiation in relationships. 45:16 When to untether: Facing unmet needs and setting boundaries.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Reflect on your current or past relationships to notice any recurring patterns where you feel depleted or resentful due to an imbalance in giving and receiving. Ask yourself if your concern is a fundamental need or simply a preference before addressing it with your partner. Acknowledge the ways you have participated or co-created the current dynamic before approaching the other person. Choose a time when both parties are calm and receptive to discuss the issue, beginning by seeking consent for the conversation. Use neutral language to share your observations and feelings about the dynamic and avoid accusatory statements. Articulate exactly what you would like to change and how you would like it to look, so your partner understands what you need. Invite your partner to share their perspective or any adjustments they'd need to fulfill the new agreement, fostering a sense of co-creation. Observe whether your partner is both willing and able to make the necessary changes; if not, consider what choices and boundaries may be needed for your well-being.   Mentioned Made for Magic (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Alison Armstrong ERP 056: Secrets To Sex Even When No One Is In The Mood With Alison Armstrong Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide)   Connect with Elizabeth Webb Website: PositivelyElizabeth.com Instagram: instagram.com/positivelyelizabeth

    52 min

  8. May 12

    ERP 528: Love as a Practice: How Virtues Help Couples Stay Connected and Aligned - An Interview with Susanne Alexander

    What if the key to lasting love wasn't just about finding the right person, but about growing the right partnership? Too often, couples step into long-term relationships without the relational tools, shared vision, or understanding of virtues that make for true unity. Instead of connection, misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts take root—leaving even the most committed couples wondering how to sustain harmony and joy in the face of life's everyday challenges. In this episode, listeners are guided through a practical roadmap for cultivating deeper unity within their relationships. Drawing on decades of experience and research, the conversation unpacks how virtues like respect, kindness, and flexibility serve as foundational elements to thriving partnerships. Listeners will hear about the stages of relational growth, learn tangible practices for resolving differences, and discover how to create a shared language and vision that brings them closer—not only to each other, but to a happier, more resilient family life. Susanne M. Alexander is a relationship and marriage educator and coach with her company, Marriage Transformation. She is certified to offer couples assessments and coaching through Prepare-Enrich® and for individuals with the Character Foundations Assessment™. Susanne has written/co-written over 30 books, including the most recent "Growing Our Unity: 19 Vital Practices for a Thriving Relationship". Susanne is co-lead on Accordia Way, a project that assists couples with excellent communication and decision-making skills.   Episode Highlights 04:05 The Importance of character and virtues in relationships. 08:27 Developing and sustaining virtues: Tools, assessments, and early influences. 12:16 Virtues Project origins and the concept of unity as a relationship virtue. 15:33 Practicing unity without losing individuality. 17:54 The process of reaching unified decisions in relationships. 20:50 Navigating individualism and control dynamics in partnerships. 23:31 Balancing autonomy, collaboration, and flexibility. 27:49 The impact of unity on family, children, and community. 29:52 The 19 vital practices and applying virtues in everyday life. 35:11 Restoring connection and humor under relationship stress. 38:15 Consultation process: Detaching ego and co-creating solutions. 41:24 Symbolism in relationships and making unity a daily practice.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Schedule regular times to discuss important topics as a couple, allowing the conversation to flow naturally rather than treating it like a formal meeting. Identify and openly share your individual strengths and growth areas in relational virtues such as kindness, patience, and responsibility. Observe and assess your partner's demonstration of key virtues in various situations to gauge character compatibility and growth potential. Work on developing one or two virtues at a time rather than overwhelming yourselves with too many at once; focus on practical application each month. Prioritize unity during decision-making processes by listening to each partner's perspective and postponing decisions if mutual agreement isn't reached. Incorporate rituals or symbols (like a decorative bowl during conversations) to facilitate ego detachment and emphasize shared goals. Reflect as a couple on the integrity and unity of your relationship before individually committing to new community or family obligations. Participate in couples' groups or study circles to learn from and support each other in practicing relational virtues and building unity.   Mentioned Growing Our Unity (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Marriage Can Be Forever - Preparation Counts! (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Accordia Way Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love (Free guide)   Connect with Susanne Alexander Website: marriagetransformation.com Facebook: facebook.com/MarriageTransformation YouTube: youtube.com/user/SusanneMAlexander Instagram: instagram.com/coachsusannealexander LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/marriage-transformation

    49 min
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4.8
out of 5
140 Ratings

About

The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.

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