Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Dr. Jessica Higgins
  • 4.8 (139)
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The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.

  1. 3D AGO

    ERP 516: Conscious Love: From Reactivity to Responsibility in Intimate Relationships — An Interview with Christian de la Huerta

    Why do so many relationships, despite the best intentions, end up stuck in cycles of hurt, disappointment, or disconnection? We search for "the one," hope for a soulmate to fulfill us, and cling to romantic ideals—even as we find ourselves repeating old patterns and feeling powerless when things get tough. The real challenge, it seems, isn't just finding love, but learning how to nurture it consciously and responsibly. What if the secret isn't about changing others, but transforming how we relate, both to ourselves and to our loved ones? In this episode, discover how to break free from the unconscious habits that sabotage intimacy, shift out of victim mindsets, and reclaim your personal power within relationships. Learn why conscious love is an ongoing practice—not just a feeling—and explore actionable principles for moving past reactivity into mature, collaborative connection. Through insights on emotional intelligence, responsibility, healing past wounds, and embracing vulnerability, you'll gain tools to create deeper, more authentic bonds and turn your relationship into a dynamic space for growth. Christian de la Huerta is a spiritual teacher, personal transformation coach, and award-winning author with over 30 years of experience. He has spoken at TEDx and led transformational retreats around the world. His books include Coming Out Spiritually and Awakening the Soul of Power. His latest book, Conscious Love: Transforming Our Relationship to Relationships, offers practical tools for healing and deeper connection.    Episode Highlights 06:16 Identifying and overcoming subconscious obstacles to love. 09:41 Approaching relationships as paths for personal growth. 11:18 Choosing conscious relationship through self-awareness and intention. 13:54 Differentiating emotional intensity from real intimacy and love. 19:04 Balancing self-agency and interdependence in relationships. 20:24 Letting go of the victim mindset and embracing responsibility and power. 23:33 Understanding personal power versus ego power in relationship dynamics. 29:00 Tools for cultivating deep connection. 32:26 Assessing relationship health through growth and transformation. 34:36 Integrating somatic practices and breathwork for healing. 38:06 Expanding relationship consciousness and integrating transformative experiences.   Your Check List of Actions to Take Take Responsibility: Own your choices and responses in relationships rather than blaming others or past experiences. Practice Self-Awareness: Regularly pause to check in with your feelings and triggers, asking yourself what's really going on beneath the surface. Move Beyond the Honeymoon Phase: Recognize that love is not just a feeling—commit to the act of loving even when the initial intensity fades. Stop Searching for "The One": Shift your mindset from finding someone to fulfill you to consciously practicing love principles in your relationships. Heal Old Wounds: Reflect on parental or past relationships to notice patterns you might be unconsciously repeating and seek ways to address them. Use Conflict as Growth: When triggered, resist the urge to react immediately; instead, get curious about the underlying source and use the moment for personal evolution. Communicate Your Needs: Express your preferences and boundaries clearly while also listening and compromising for mutual benefit. Integrate Mindfulness Practices: Develop habits like meditation or breath work to build present-moment awareness and emotional regulation in your daily life and relationships.   Mentioned Conscious Love: Transforming Our Relationship to Relationships (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Committed: A Love Story (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The power of breath: Christian de la Huerta at TEDxCoMo (YouTube link) (video) Ken Wilber (website) A Course in Miracles (*Amazon link) (book) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Christian de la Huerta Websites: soulfulpower.com Facebook: facebook.com/christian.delahuerta.1 Instagram: instagram.com/christiandlh LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/christiandelahuerta YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UC4hOzeGdhkTcRxOHkV9tfbQ

    45 min

  2. FEB 10

    ERP 515: How Couples Can Rethink Time to Reduce Burnout and Strengthen Connection — An Interview with Michelle Niemeyer

    Are you constantly racing against the clock, feeling like life's demands are pulling you in every direction—and yet, your own needs, goals, and relationships are slipping through the cracks? Burnout, overwhelm, and the tricky balance of work, family, and personal fulfillment are challenges that leave many people wondering: Does time own me, or can I truly shape how I live within it? In this episode, the conversation delves deep into how our relationship with time can be transformed from a relentless source of stress into a foundation for personal wholeness and relational strength. You'll hear practical strategies for recognizing the real drivers behind burnout, prioritizing what lights you up, integrating wellness into busy schedules, and collaboratively setting goals within families or partnerships. Whether you're looking to manage your calendar more efficiently or searching for greater meaning and connection in your everyday moments, this episode offers insight, tools, and a paradigm shift to help you bend time to work for you—instead of against you. Michelle Niemeyer is a speaker, coach, and former attorney who teaches professionals how to bend time so they can stay sharp, productive, and profitable – without burning out. After finding her way to burnout and back in her own high-performing legal career, Michelle created The Art of Bending Time, a framework that helps people connect the dots across work, life, and purpose to magnetize success and reclaim their joy. She helps businesses retain top talent, boost development, and keep their people energized and engaged – all while making the magic   Episode Highlights 05:53 Understanding and recognizing burnout. 09:43 Integrating wholeness over compartmentalization. 11:08 Discovering personal sparks and daily joys. 15:19 Prioritizing wellness for personal effectiveness. 18:17 Setting priorities and learning to delegate. 22:55 Eliminating time wasters: Internal and external distractions. 26:51 Applying SWORD analysis to family goals. 30:17 Aligning goals with genuine desire. 36:13 Shifting responsibilities according to strengths and passions.   Your Check List of Actions to Take Identify Your Spirit Sparks: Take a few moments each day to notice and savor the small things that light you up, like a warm cup of coffee or a moment outdoors. Prioritize Quality Sleep: Make your bedroom a phone-free zone to reduce interruptions, improve rest, and start your day more refreshed. Hydrate and Eat Well: Focus on drinking enough water and eating a variety of whole, colorful foods to support your physical and mental health. Integrate Movement: Find simple ways to move your body regularly, whether it's a walk outside or standing to stretch throughout the day. Assess and Address Time Drains: Notice what tasks or habits waste your time (like procrastination or environmental distractions), and create systems or boundaries to minimize them. Practice Whole-Person Living: Show up authentically in all areas of your life, sharing aspects of yourself at work and at home to foster real connection. Clarify Priorities as a Family or Couple: Have honest conversations about what truly matters, so your time and energy align with your shared goals and values. Use the SWORD Analysis for Big Decisions: Evaluate Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Risks, and Desire before pursuing major goals together, ensuring everyone's buy-in and avoiding unnecessary drains.   Mentioned Link for free community access to SWORD tool The Art of Bending Time (program link) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Michelle Niemeyer Website: michelleniemeyer.com Facebook: facebook.com/groups/theartofbendingtime LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/michelle-melin-niemeyer

    39 min

  3. FEB 3

    ERP 514: Measuring What Matters: How Awareness and Alignment Create Enduring Love - An Interview with Zoey Charif

    Ever wondered why, despite our best intentions, we keep falling into the same relationship traps? Or how two people can feel worlds apart even when they desperately want things to work? The subtle dance of self-worth, mutual respect, and compatibility often determines whether love thrives or fizzles out. Too often, we end up settling for relationships that slowly chip away at our confidence, hoping for change while ignoring the mismatch in values, traits, and emotional needs. In this episode, listeners are guided through a groundbreaking and practical approach for understanding the science behind love and relationship fulfillment. The conversation explores how to identify personal values and trait preferences, assess compatibility, break destructive patterns, and recognize the significance of self-worth in sustaining a healthy partnership. With fresh, research-backed insights, the episode offers actionable steps and honest reflections to help anyone desiring deeper connection, clarity, and empowerment in their romantic life. Zoey Charif spent two decades decoding patterns of human attraction, pulling from her background in criminology, data analytics, and a drive to challenge everything we've been taught about love. Born in Afghanistan, raised in Vancouver, and now based in Orange County, California, Zoey brings a rare blend of emotional depth, analytical precision, and lived experience to her work. Her framework is coachable and designed to help people transform their relationships.   Episode Highlights 04:43 Explaining the Love Formula: Scoring self and partner alignment. 08:41 When perceived value differs: Anxious and avoidant relationship patterns. 10:05 Attachment styles, emotional investment, and patterns of effort. 14:12 Personality dichotomies: Are we attracted to similar or opposite traits? 18:34 Distinguishing between values and traits in attraction. 21:14 Recognizing and interrupting destructive relationship patterns. 26:15 Impact of inconsistency: How decreasing value affects relationship satisfaction. 29:34 Core values: Dependability and reliability as key to relationship stability. 30:27 Using the Love Formula to rebuild connection and alignment in marriage. 33:47 Maintaining mutual admiration and fulfillment in long-term love. 36:58 The crucial role of self-worth and normalizing singlehood.   Your Check List of Actions to Take Reflect on Your Self-Worth: Honestly assess your own values and self-worth before seeking or deepening a relationship. Identify Core Values: Clearly write down the values that matter most to you in life and relationships. Rate Yourself: Give yourself a score on how well you feel you embody your own values and standards. Evaluate Your Partner: Honestly assess your partner against your values, noting alignment and gaps. Notice Trait Preferences: Identify the traits you're consistently attracted to, even if they might not serve you in the long term. Watch for Destructive Patterns: Examine your previous relationship patterns for recurring traits or behaviors that led to dissatisfaction. Communicate Openly: Share your value and trait scores with your partner as a tool for honest, non-defensive discussions about your relationship. Prioritize Self-Awareness: Regularly check in with yourself to ensure your choices align with your values and that you're not compromising your well-being for the relationship.   Mentioned Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) (*Psychology Today) (link) The Gottman Method 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated (Hardcover) by Zoey Charif   Connect with Zoey Charif Websites: lovecaninfactbecalculated.com Instagram: instagram.com/zoeycharif TikTok: tiktok.com/@zoeycharif?_t=8ruz0ZyCH9i&_r=1

    45 min

  4. JAN 27

    ERP 513: Why Openness Matters More than Resolution in Couple Communication — An Interview with Kathryn Ford M.D.

    Ever felt like no matter how much you prepare for an important conversation with your partner, you still end up missing each other entirely? In the heat of tough conversations, even the best intentions can get lost as tension rises and defenses go up. It's all too easy for moments of misunderstanding to snowball, leaving both people feeling disconnected and unsure how to find their way back to each other. In this episode, you'll discover a radically simple approach to transforming those tense moments into opportunities for true connection. Looking through the lens of openness, which the conversation calls the "aperture effect," you'll learn why slowing down, becoming mindful, and attuning to each other's emotional states can help you break free from unhelpful patterns. Explore practical techniques to foster emotional safety, collaboration, and presence so you can turn even challenging interactions into pathways for deeper understanding and closeness. Kathryn Ford, M.D., is a psychiatrist, couples therapist, and author. Her work is a unique integration of mindfulness, psychotherapy, and neuroscience. After receiving her M.D. degree from Brown School of Medicine, Dr. Ford completed a residency in psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine. Her meditation practice and studies developed her understanding of the power of mindfulness for building deeper, more resilient relationships. She has taught at Stanford Continuing Studies, Stanford Medical School, and  Santa Clara University, and publishes regularly online in Psychology Today.   Episode Highlights 04:02 The Aperture Effect—an exploration at the intersection of psychiatry, mindfulness, and neuroscience. 09:40 What happens when openness shuts down in conversation? 11:26 The brain's role in relationship dynamics and mindful self-awareness. 15:23 Recognizing and responding to real-time emotional signals. 17:14 How our openness fluctuates moment to moment: Practical awareness skills. 21:08 Why slowing down changes everything: Strategies for connection over resolution. 26:06 Openness on a continuum: Tracking your state in challenging conversations. 29:16 Regrouping when things get rocky: Navigating pauses and timeouts. 33:53 Moving between vulnerability and defensiveness. 38:13 Vulnerability as the pathway to connection. 42:18 The power of naming your emotional state. 43:30 Learning and practicing aperture awareness and mindfulness.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Practice mindful pausing: When you notice tension or confusion in conversations with your partner, pause for a deep breath to ground yourself and slow the interaction. Regularly check in with yourself during discussions. Ask, "Am I open or closed right now?" and observe your body for cues like warmth (open) or tension (closed). Use the "Two Sentences" exercise by limiting your speaking turns to one or two sentences and then pausing, giving both you and your partner time to process before responding. Be explicit about your emotional state, for example, saying, "I'm feeling a bit vulnerable discussing this," to invite empathy and understanding. When things get heated, intentionally slow down the dialogue. Avoid rapid-fire responses and give space for reflection. Call a timeout if needed: If either partner rates their openness as a 4 or lower (on a 1-10 scale), suggest a short break to allow both people to regroup and prevent escalation. Reassure and regroup: Offer reassurance like, "I didn't mean to sound harsh," and check if both partners feel ready to continue before moving forward. Acknowledge the need for ongoing conversations: Accept that not every topic needs a final resolution. Focus on maintaining connection, trust, and openness even when issues remain unresolved.   Mentioned The Aperture Effect (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Polyvagal Theory (website) Gottman Institute (website) Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) (*Psychology Today) (link) ERP 340: The Essential Skill Of Tracking Openness in Relationship — An Interview With Dr. Kathryn Ford 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Kathryn Ford M.D. Websites: kathrynfordmd.com Facebook: facebook.com/KathrynFordMD Instagram: instagram.com/KathrynFordMD LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kathryn-ford-m-d-1a675b2b Substack: substack.com/@kathrynfordmd   Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com

    54 min

  5. JAN 20

    ERP 512: The Courage Practice: How Facing Fear Deepens Intimacy and Connection — An Interview with Scott Simon

    What if playing it safe is actually keeping you from the life and relationships you truly want? Too often, fear convinces us to stay small, avoid discomfort, and stick to familiar routines, especially when it comes to our most important connections. The result? Missed opportunities for deep intimacy, vibrant trust, and authentic connection. It's a paradox: the very quest for comfort may be the greatest risk of all. In this episode, listeners are invited to challenge the idea that comfort equals happiness. Through inspiring stories and practical tools, the conversation explores how embracing courage, even in small, everyday ways, can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships. Discover why facing fears (rather than running from them) is essential for personal growth and intimacy, and how a simple courage practice can transform both self-perception and connection with loved ones. Whether it's starting an uncomfortable conversation or supporting each other through life's uncertainties, this episode offers actionable steps to help anyone move from fear to flourishing in their relationships. Scott Simon is a thought leader, TEDx speaker, bestselling author, and founder of the Scare Your Soul movement, helping people transform their lives through small daily acts of courage. He's worked with the UN, Nestlé, Ritz Carlton, Logitech, and the Cleveland Clinic to build braver teams and more connected cultures. When he's not leading keynotes or designing transformative retreats, you'll find Scott chasing live music, journaling in strange airports, or hunting down the world's best hole-in-the-wall restaurants.   Episode Highlights 04:24 Overcoming the tendency to shrink back and building momentum through bravery and courage. 09:20 How embracing discomfort leads to growth and creativity. 16:16 How small actions outside your comfort zone can build courage and lead to transformative outcomes. 20:08 Challenging relationship norms for deeper bonds. 28:47 Unlocking authenticity through vulnerability in relationships. 32:10 Aligning courageous choices with core values in relationships. 35:30 Personal examples of standing in your truth. 39:56 Practicing self-awareness and micro acts of courage for relational growth.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Start a daily courage practice: Each day, do one small thing that scares you or takes you out of your comfort zone, just as the guest recommends. Pause and check in with yourself: Before difficult conversations, take a moment to breathe deeply and center yourself, allowing self-awareness to guide your next steps. Reflect on your core values: Use your values as a filter when deciding which courageous actions to take in your relationships. Initiate honest conversations: If you're holding back something important, practice being the one to "go first" and share vulnerably, even if it feels risky. Name your feelings in real-time: During tough moments, state what you're experiencing physically or emotionally (e.g., "My heart is racing right now"), to foster connection and authenticity. Seek support for brave actions: Engage a partner or friend to do something courageous together, which can increase commitment and make the experience richer. Replace silence with authentic sharing: Consider what keeping quiet is truly serving, and choose to communicate openly instead of bottling things up. Practice small acts of kindness: Try courage-building social acts, like initiating a friendly conversation or buying someone a coffee, to strengthen your confidence and connectedness.   Mentioned Scare Your Soul (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) David Schnarch (*Wikipedia link) Conscious Loving (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Scott Simon Websites: scottsimon.us | scareyoursoul.com Instagram: instagram.com/scareyoursoul Substack: scareyoursoul.substack.com

    49 min

  6. JAN 13

    ERP 511: From Protection to Connection: Healing Shame and Building Secure Connection — An Interview with Dr. Arielle Schwartz

    Have you ever wondered why, in the moments you crave connection the most, you suddenly find yourself pulling back or feeling unworthy of love? It's a confusing cycle—wanting deep intimacy yet stumbling over old shame and protective patterns that keep you at arm's length from those who matter most. The echoes of our early relationships can linger, quietly shaping the way we trust, open up, and even interpret simple gestures of kindness. Left unspoken and unexplored, these internal beliefs can create barriers to the very closeness we long for. In this episode, listeners are invited to take a compassionate look at how shame and childhood experiences impact our sense of self and our present-day relationships. Through real-life examples and insights from trauma and nervous system work, you'll discover why you might struggle with receiving care, how protective behaviors like people-pleasing or withdrawal develop, and, most importantly, how healing and repair are possible within intimate partnerships. The conversation offers practical tools for recognizing these patterns, slowing down your reactions, and using curiosity and acceptance to gently shift toward deeper connection—with yourself and with others. Dr. Arielle Schwartz is a licensed psychologist and a leading voice in the healing of trauma. She is an internationally sought-after teacher and award winning author of eight books including The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook, Therapeutic Yoga for Trauma, and Applied Polyvagal Theory in Yoga. As the founder of the Center for Resilience Informed Therapy, she offers a mind-body approach to therapy for trauma and informational mental health and wellness updates through her writing, public speaking, social media presence, and blog. She believes that the journey of trauma recovery is an awakening of the spiritual heart.   Episode Highlights 06:17 Uncovering attachment wounds and realizing childhood patterns in adulthood. 08:41 How shame and unworthiness show up in everyday relationship gestures. 10:59 The deep impact of relational trauma on trust and receiving love. 13:44 Cycles of childhood rejection and their lasting influence in relationships. 17:04 Understanding neuroception: Faulty safety cues and couple dynamics. 23:04 Common protective behaviors that mask shame and hinder true connection. 26:02 How longing to be authentically seen often leads to frustration and anger. 27:46 Facing shame: The role of curiosity, acceptance, and turning toward pain. 34:33 How slowing down and identifying underlying feelings in moments of reactivity allows for more vulnerable communication and understanding between partners. 37:03 Accessing and soothing shame through parts work and somatic awareness. 41:04 The power of presence: Attending to shame somatically and non-judgmentally. 42:57 Supporting partners in their activation: Invitations, patience, and repair.   Your Check List of Actions to Take Start noticing moments when you feel unworthy or defensive in relationships, and pause to reflect on what's being activated inside you. Practice slowing down your reactions, even if just for a few seconds, to bring curiosity rather than judgment to your responses. When you notice shame or discomfort, try labeling it as just one part of yourself—remind yourself it doesn't define your entire being. Invite more acceptance for uncomfortable feelings by turning toward them with compassion instead of pushing them away. If you're in a reactive moment with a loved one, communicate with phrases like, "Can I run something by you?" or "The story I'm telling myself is…" to clarify your experience. Focus on building body awareness—notice where you feel tension, contraction, or the urge to hide, and gently stay present with it. When you notice a protective behavior like people-pleasing or withdrawing, ask yourself what underlying need or emotion might be driving it. In heated moments with your partner, offer supportive choices like, "How can I best support you right now?" instead of jumping into problem-solving or fixing.   Mentioned The Polyvagal Theory Workbook for Trauma (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Complex PTSD Workbook (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Post-Traumatic Growth Deck (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Therapeutic Yoga for Trauma Recovery (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Brene Brown (website) Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) (*Psychology Today) (link) Polyvagal Theory (website) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Dr. Arielle Schwartz Websites: drarielleschwartz.com | resilienceinformedtherapy.com Facebook: facebook.com/drarielleschwartz X: twitter.com/DrAschwartz YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UC5LUxnXbReV7I5cEzvb46sQ Instagram: instagram.com/arielleschwartzboulder LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/arielle-schwartz-0756b62a

    50 min

  7. JAN 6

    ERP 510: The Last 8%: How to Have the Conversations That Matter Most in Your Relationship — An Interview with Bill Benjamin

    Ever notice that it's not the everyday conversations or simple disagreements that shape the quality of a relationship—it's those high-stakes moments, the tough talks that feel risky and uncomfortable, that truly define the connection. Far too often, we skirt around what really needs to be said, trading short-term relief for long-term regret. Whether it's at work or at home, these avoided discussions can lead to resentment, disconnection, and a sense of self-abandonment. In this episode, listeners will dive deep into understanding why we tend to avoid these "last 8%" conversations, what emotional forces are at play, and how learning emotional intelligence can transform conflict into an opportunity for growth. Through practical insights and relatable stories, the discussion explores how you can recognize your own patterns under pressure, build self-awareness, and learn strategies to approach difficult dialogues with clarity, empathy, and courage. If you're ready to break out of avoidance and start showing up authentically—for yourself and your relationships—this episode offers a roadmap to addressing the hard stuff and reclaiming connection. Bill Benjamin is a Partner at the Institute for Health & Human Potential. He has degrees in Mathematics and Computer Science and 30 years of business experience. Bill explains how you can build a high-performance Last 8% Culture by leveraging the science of emotional intelligence. His clients include NASA, Marriott, Intel, the Mayo Clinic, the U.S. Marines and Surgeons.   Episode Highlights 05:07 The importance and science behind emotional intelligence in relationships and business. 07:24 The origin of the "Last 8%" concept and its impact on difficult conversations. 10:03 Fight, flight, and the roles we play: Avoiders, mess-makers, and emotional triggers in relationships. 14:39 Navigating emotional intelligence at work versus at home. 18:16 The costs of avoidance. 21:06 Recognizing your role and contribution in conflict. 28:36 Understanding others' intentions in pressure situations. 29:15 Practical strategies for handling relational conflict. 35:12 Addressing shame and trauma in relationship pressure points. 36:15 Taking action: Sensitive communication and resources for emotional intelligence development.   Your Check List of Actions to Take Start with Self-Awareness: Regularly check in with your body and mind for early signs of emotional activation, like tense muscles or scattered thoughts. Pause Before Reacting: If you notice emotional triggers, pause and take several deep breaths to regain mental clarity and composure. Name Your Patterns: Reflect on whether you tend to avoid difficult conversations or "make a mess" by confronting too strongly. Get Curious About Others: In moments of tension, intentionally seek to understand the other person's perspective—what's driving their reaction or behavior? Build Empathy Bridges: Imagine stepping over to the "other side of the bridge," as suggested, to genuinely validate the other person's feelings before expressing your own. Return To The Conversation: If you need a break during a heated moment, communicate that you'll revisit the topic, rather than letting it drop indefinitely. Express Your Emotional Needs: Practice communicating your own needs and boundaries directly, knowing it's essential for building mutual respect and trust. Seek Support When Needed: If shame, trauma, or persistent avoidance is hindering healthy interactions, reach out to a therapist, mentor, or supportive resource for guidance and perspective.   Mentioned Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Doing Your Best When It Matters Most (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Secret to Building a High-Performing Team (Harvard Business Review article) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Bill Benjamin Websites: ihhp.com Facebook: facebook.com/IHHPGlobal X: x.com/IHHP YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UC0UYI0Vuy99P8Hdj-r3hr4w Instagram: instagram.com/ihhpglobal LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bill-benjamin-12b671

    41 min

  8. 12/30/2025

    ERP 509: When Ambition Costs Connection: How Overachievers Can Find Healthy, Aligned Love — An Interview with Keren Eldad

    Are you chasing every gold star, climbing every ladder, and nailing every "right" mark—only to find yourself missing out on real fulfillment and meaningful connection? The relentless pursuit of achievement can sometimes leave us feeling lonely, disconnected from ourselves, and trapped in relationships that don't truly nourish our hearts. When ambition runs amok, the cost may be far greater than just burnout or missed vacation days—it can lead to self-abandonment and relationships that feel more like a cage than a home. In this episode, you'll discover how overachievement and perfectionism can sabotage our capacity for genuine connection—and what it takes to turn things around. Through honest storytelling and practical insight, the conversation explores the hidden costs of self-abandonment and the steps toward reclaiming self-worth, authenticity, and aligned love. Whether you're feeling the grind of burnout or yearning for more realness in your relationships, you'll gain tools for slowing down, getting honest with yourself, and opening up to relationships that feel like home. Coach Keren Eldad is an Executive Coach, Speaker, podcast host and the Author of the new book: GILDED - Breaking Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism and the Relentless Pursuit of More.   Episode Highlights 06:18 The roots of self-abandonment: Overachievement and relationship choices. 09:12 Societal pressure and the pursuit of external validation in partner selection. 10:27 Personal story: From self-betrayal to reconstructing identity and worth. 16:07 Building healthy love: The learning curve toward self-connection in relationships. 20:39 Embracing uncertainty: Letting go of control and playing to win in relationships. 26:56 Yellow flags in relationships: Burnout, overfunctioning, and sexless marriages. 31:29 Radical honesty and initiating difficult conversations. 35:51 Centering yourself before addressing relationship issues. 39:54 Tools, coaching, and the path to authentic relationships.   Your Check List of Actions to Take Pause and self-reflect: Practice taking a mindful pause before reacting in relationships to better understand your true feelings and needs. Identify your patterns: Bring awareness to tendencies like overachieving or people-pleasing that may be impacting your connections. Prioritize self-worth: Work on recognizing and affirming your own worth, rather than relying on external validation or achievement. Start small conversations: When something feels off in your relationship, gently broach the subject with curiosity rather than jumping into confrontation. Read for growth: Incorporate reading transformational books by thought leaders to cultivate self-awareness. Seek support: Consider working with a coach or therapist to dig deeper into your personal growth and relationship patterns. Practice radical honesty: Begin being radically honest with yourself about what you want and how you feel, as self-abandonment only perpetuates dissatisfaction. Accept uncertainty: Learn to embrace the unknown in relationships, allowing space for vulnerability and authentic connection rather than controlling outcomes.   Mentioned Gilded: Breaking Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism, and the Relentless Pursuit of More (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self *Amazon link (book) Dare to Lead (*Amazon link) (book) Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough (*Amazon link) (book) The Work of Byron Katie (website) Brene Brown (website) Eckhart Tolle (website) Ram Dass (website) Louise Hay (website) ERP 494: Designing Love That Lasts: 6 Principles for Lasting Connection — An Interview with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh ERP 174: How to Experience More Love in Your Relationship with Byron Katie 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Keren Elded Websites: KerenEldad.com Facebook: facebook.com/LiveWithEnthusiasm?_rdc=1&_rdr# YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCgGViwGVn_yrHkq3PQ9R_-Q Instagram: instagram.com/coachkeren/?hl=en LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/keren-eldad Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coached-with-coach-keren/id1467079024

    48 min
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4.8
out of 5
139 Ratings

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The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.

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